Curse Word woke up to a *BANG CLANG CRASH POP SHATTER* and a cat Wilhelm scream.
"Uhggggggg. Pirate, you asshole, just gimme five... more *yawn* min...utes..." Curse Word trailed off as sleep threatened to drag her back to unconscious once more.
*CRASH CRASH CRASH BANG SHATTER GUNSHOT GUNSHOT BANG BANG CRASH* Cat Wilhelm scream
"Alright! I'm up!" Curse Word angrily grabbed a baseball bat, jammed a football helmet onto the bird's nest that was her mane, and ran down the stairs.
Or rather, tripped and fell down the stairs.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes ow, I mean, WHY?!"
She landed a the base of the stairs with a soft fwump.
"Ow-ha-hoooooow. My back. Fucking stairs." Curse Word said, as she gingerly got to her hooves, and looked at her kitchen.
Three pots, four frying pans, two upturned chairs, two broken picture frames, a broken chess board, a opened bag of chips, a washcloth that had beed torn to shreds, and a destroyed Buddhist Monk statue laid strewn everywhere.
"ROSE BUSH! PIRATE SHIP!" Curse Word angrily yelled as she looked for her cats.
*meow meow*
Curse Word looked up.
Pirate Ship was hanging from her pot rack. Rose Bush was in her hanging strawberry pot. Both looked terrified.
PIRATE SHIP! ROSE BUSH! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASSES!!!
The cats just ran.
"Damn cats..." Curse Word mumbled. "Goddamn those fucking adoribetes-inducing lovable assholes..."
Ring! Ring!
"... And Goddamn the fucking phone as well."
With a small sigh of frustration, Curse Word levitated the phone over, and huffed before answering it.
"Hello?" She said, trying her damnedest not to sound frustrated. "Who's this?"
"This is the sexist voice you'll ever have the pleasure of hearing, of course."
"Hello to you too, Gutie."
"Listen, Curse Word, baby-"
"I HAVE A MAREFRIEND!"
"I don't care. So, anyways, wanna do a livestream?"
"What time is it?!"
"At your place? Ummmmmm, 6:54, why?"
"You called me up, at 7:00 in the morning... To livestream?!"
"Yup!" Came the checky, cocky, reply.
"Uhggg, you bastard..." Curse Word looked around her living room, the mess picked up, for the most part anyway. "Gimme ten minutes, I'll be there soon."
"Great! See you then!"
"Alright." Curse Word put her phone back on the hook, before a stab of pain tore through her side.
"Fuck!" She cried. "Goddamn stairs! Fuck you!" She turned around, ready to smash something, before falling over from pain. "Uggggg. I musta pulled something."
*Vrrrrrrrr! Vrrrrrrrrrrr*
"And Goddamn my fucking cell phone as well."
Curse Word attempted to stand, but found a sharp, searing pain tearing through her side every time. Huffing in frustration and pain, she levitated her cell phone over, and lookke at he messages.
Caller ID: Pinkie Rose
Hey, I was wondering if I could come over for the livestream.
One of my cats got to my mic, and long story short, it's a good thing I'm a saver, not a spender.
I know it's early but I'll make us some waffles.
See ya soon! (Hopefully :))
Pinkie Rose
Goddamn it, Pinkie. Curse Word thought. That's evil. Pure, undiluted evil. Pinkie Rose was very aware that Curse Word liked her waffles. They were a old family recipe, and Luna and Celestia's flanks were they good!
Caller ID:Curse Word
Yeah, you can come over.
As long as you make me those goddamn waffles.
With that done, she stood up to finish cleaning for Pinkie, happy that the pain in her side had dulled...
"Hmmmm, hmm, hm, hmmmm, la la la la laaaa..." Pinkie Rose trotted up to the front steps of Curse Word's house, humming a tune she heard Fluttershy singing last week.
Knock Knock Knock
While waiting, a sense of ease settled on her. This was going to be a good day.
Meow meow meow
She glanced over to the window by the front door. It was ajar, a slight morning breeze gently flowing in. She looked inside, and a little furry face greeted her.
"Hello, Rose Bush. Where's Curser?" She asked the cat. It looked at her funnily before tugging on her mane, trying to pull her inside. Pinkie glanced at the door. It was unlocked, with a baseball bat near it. She gently detached Rose Bush from her mane, and opened the front door.
Crrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaak
"Curser?" She called out. The wind was the only thing that answered. "Curse Word, can you hear me?"
Meow Meow Meow Meow *scuffle scuffle* *sob* *sniffle* Meow Meow
Her cries were met with frantic meowing, some rustling, and soft whimpers... Of pain. Rose Bush had resumed the tugging on her mane, and Pinkie Rose followed. In the living room laid Curse Word, barely conscious, holding her side and whimpering in pain.
"Curser!" She yelled, rushing over to her friend's side. "W-what happened?!"
"I d-d-don't gasp gasp k-k-kno-w. It hu-hurt-sss. Pl-ple-pleas-please make i-it gasp *huff* st-st-op!!!" Curse word cried, tears steaming down her face, dripping into her mane and the carpet.
By now, Pinkie Rose was crying as well, holding her friend's hoof in a comforting gesture. Shifting it over, she could see a round lump protruding from her side. Curse Word gasped in pain as Pinkie gently applied pressure to her side.
"Oh my Celestia, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She cried, pulling out her cell phone and dialing 9-1-1, panicking as she tried to hold it together long enough for Curse Word to get into the Ponyville hospital.
"Don't t-t-think a-n-nyt-t-hin-ng of it-t." Curse Word said, trying, (and failing) to calm her friend down.
"Hello, Ponyville hospital here. This is nurse Caring Heart. What is your emergency?"
"It's my fr-iend. She's in p-pain, and there's a l-lump in her si-de, and sh-e-e nee-ds-ds medical atten-tion right a-wa-y-y!"