Seven Girls, Nine Hundred Forty Three Miles, and One Minivan.

by Tumbleweed

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Human, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Random
Length: 21960

Sunset and the gang must go on a road trip in order to save the world! There are worse ways to spend your spring break.

Set in the Equestria Girls universe!

When Twilight Sparkle (the scientist one, not the otherdimensional pony princess) predicts an oncoming magical calamity, it's up to Sunset Shimmer and her friends to stop it!

Now, they've got just two days to cover hundreds and hundreds of miles to get to exactly where the dimensional incursion is going to take place.

Good thing it's Spring Break. Road Trip!

Published 2016-03-14 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-22 23:46:58 UTC

Chapter 1

Once the final bell rung, the students (and faculty) of Canterlot High cleared out in record time. A full week of Spring Break freedom put extra spring in everyone's step, and so within a matter of minutes, the hallways and classrooms were apocalyptically empty.

Except for one.

“I have good news, and I have bad news.” Twilight Sparkle fidgeted with her glasses as she looked over her six best friends. “Or, uh. More accurately, I have news that could be good or bad. I'm not sure yet. But then that might make the bad news part good news. Ambivalent news? Is that a thing?”

“Welp.” Applejack pushed the brim of her hat upwards. “Might as well get the bad news out of the way first.”

“Actually,” Twilight looked up. “To really understand the bad news, you should hear the good news first. Or, uh, the news that could be good. Or bad. I don't have enough data yet.”

“Go on, Twilight.” Sunset Shimmer smiled, and leaned forward in her chair. “You said it was important.”

“Right!” Twilight said. “So, uh. I've been doing some calculations, trying to figure out this whole 'magic' thing.”

“You're not gonna suck up all the magic and go nuts again, are you?” said Rainbow Dash.

“What? No!” Twilight sputtered.

Applejack frowned, and elbowed Rainbow in the side.

“Hey! Just checking!”

“Y'all should know better.”

“At least she looked pretty cool when she did. All glowy and wing-y and stuff. Totally metal.” Rainbow Dash threw up the horns.

Applejack elbowed her again. Harder.

“Ow!”

“Cut it out, guys.” Sunset Shimmer said. “This is important.” Reluctantly, Applejack and Rainbow Dash settled into an unspoken truce, though Applejack still stayed on guard if (or, more accurately, when) Rainbow said something else elbow-worthy.

“You were saying, Twilight?” Sunset said with a smile.

“I brought over my equipment from Crystal Prep, and, combined with some of the stuff I, uh, 'borrowed' from Canterlot High's science lab.” Twilight's words built up speed as nervousness gave way to geeky enthusiasm. “I've been able to monitor ambient levels of dimensional flux. I've even modified an old radio into Z-wave spectrometer. Which isn't much to write home about on its own, but then I realized you could pull in the tachyon echoes bouncing off of satellites in orbit!" Carried away by the explanation, Twilight picked up a piece of chalk and began to sketch out arcane blueprints and formulas on the blackboard. "All you need to do is take the aetheric static into account. After that, all I had to do is write a simple algorithm to filter out the results, which, when combined with certain seasonal data, highlight probable areas where further cross-planar incursions are likely to occur.”

“In the vernacular, dear?” Rarity said.

“Okay, now two of you are speaking nerd.” Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack elbowed her again. She was ready.

“Ow!”

“In English, she means,” Sunset Shimmer said.

“I found a way to predict magic stuff.” Twilight said, and suddenly found something very interesting on the toe of her shoe.

Twilight Sparkle's six friends leaned forward with varying expressions of shock and wonder.

“Why didn't you say that earlier? That's awesome!” said Rainbow Dash.

“That. Is. So. Cool!” Pinkie Pie squeaked.

“Sounds useful,” said Applejack.

“Why, it's positively astounding!” Rarity clasped her hands together.

“Um. Yay?” Fluttershy offered, mostly out of solidarity.

“We're all impressed, Twilight,” Sunset Shimmer's leather jacket creaked faintly as she leaned forward. “But what's the bad news?”

Twilight winced. “Right. So. According to my data, um … there's another dimensional inc-” she paused, then corrected herself, “-something magical is going to happen in two days.”

“How's that bad news?” Pinkie Pie said. “I mean, every time something magic happens it's … magical! Okay, so, sometimes it gets a little crazy and somebody flips out and goes mad with power and tries to destroy the fabric of space-time, but it always works out in the end! I mean, nobody's destroyed the universe yet! And then once it all settles down we can just hug it out and make new friends!” Pinkie Pie draped one arm around Twilight's shoulders, and the other around Sunset's and drew them into a warm, vaguely sugary embrace. “Like this! Yay supervillain buddies!”

Sunset Shimmer gently pushed herself away from her friends. “We're not--” she sighed, and shook her head. “Nevermind. Twilight, what else do you know about the magical incursion?”

“Not a lot. It could be someone … or something coming through. It could be just a passing 'poof' of magic. Or it could be the start of a dimensional tear that'll blow up the entire planet. The only way to be sure is to see it firsthand. And, uh, hopefully stop it, in that last case.”

“That's easy enough.” Rarity said, “especially since we've got some warning this time around. We can plan ahead.” She tapped at the corner of her mouth, thoughtfully.

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “We'll be ready for whatever it is! Do you think it'll be a dragon? It'd be totally cool if I got to punch out a dragon.”

Applejack elbowed Rainbow Dash again, hard enough to bruise this time.

“So, um, does that mean we need to camp out in front of the statue?” Fluttershy said.

“I'm afraid not. This the bad news part. As according to my calculations, the dimensional incursion is going to pop up--” Twilight pulled a map of the country down from its roller, and pointed to a point in the southwest several states away. “Here.”

“Wow! That's like a jillion miles away!”

“Nine hundred and forty three miles, actually.” Twilight said.

“No problem!” Rainbow Dash said, and flexed, “I can fly, remember! All I gotta do is bust a rad guitar solo 'til I pony up, and then it's just WHOOOOOSH and then I can go punch a dragon and then someone can take a picture of it and airbrush it on to the side of their van.”

Sunset Shimmer smiled, wanly, “I'm not sure if that's going to work, Rainbow. You've only manifested wings a few times, and only for a short period of time. Do you think you can keep it up for hours?”

“That one TV commercial says you should see a doctor if that happens.” Pinkie Pie added with a saucy wink.

Sunset winced a little at the inadvertent innuendo, and returned her attention to Rainbow Dash. “Besides, not all of us have wings. And you wouldn't be able to carry anyone and play guitar at the same time.”

“Oh.” Rainbow Dash mused. “Shoot.”

“Perhaps we might travel by air in a different manner?” Rarity took her phone out of her purse and opened up her internet browser. Her thumbs flew over the touchscreen's keyboard with practiced ease. “Why, all we'd need is seven plane tickets-- first class, of course, as we deserve absolutely nothing less, leaving tomorrow … “ Rarity's face went pale (paler for her, even) as the price of the tickets popped up onscreen. “Or … perhaps not.” She looked up from her phone. “I … may pride myself on my generosity, but there are some things just beyond my means.”

“Alright, so we drive!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Road trip, woooo!” Pinkie Pie threw her hands up in the air in celebration.

Applejack frowned. “Drive what, exactly? I might be able to talk my brother into borrowin' his truck--”

“Can we borrow Big Mac, too?” Rainbow Dash said with a naughty grin. “Or, can I borrow Big Mac? I'd love to-- OOF!”

Applejack's elbow didn't break any ribs, but it was a close thing.

“As I was sayin', the bunch of us ain't gonna fit into the cab, n' I bet all y'all wouldn't ride in the bed.”

Rainbow Dash smiled through the pain, and wheezed, “I'd totally go for a ride in your brother's--”

“Rainbow, this is serious.” Sunset Shimmer laid a hand on Applejack's arm before she could dispense more elbow-based retribution. “But Applejack's right. If there's something magical happening, I'd want-- I'd need all of my friends there to help out.”

“I, um. I might be able to help.” Fluttershy murmured.

Six sets of eyes turned to the quiet, pink-haired girl.

“Since when do you have wheels?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Sometimes, um, my mom lets me drive on my own.” Fluttershy said. “Especially when I need to pick up supplies for the animal shelter.”

“Do you think you can borrow the car for a few days?” Sunset Shimmer said.

“Um. Maybe? But only if it's really important.” Fluttershy said.

“It' … might be potential 'end of the world' kind of stuff.” Twilight pushed her glasses further up her nose as she spoke. “Does that count?”

“Oh. Um. Okay.” Fluttershy murmured. “I'll see what I can do.”

“Great!” Sunset Shimmer smiled, and stood up. “Everyone pack a bag, tell your family we're going on a trip, and we'll meet up here at seven o'clock tomorrow morning. Sound good?”

The other girls nodded in eager agreement.

“Alright then. Let's go save the world.”

Chapter 2

“Ugh. I though the whole point of Spring Break was not having to wake up early?” Rainbow Dash rubbed at the corner of one bleary eye.

“Pssh. This ain't nothin'.” Applejack adjusted the strap of her battered, olive-green duffle bag. “I've been wakin' up since the crack o' dawn ever since I was outta diapers. No sense in wastin' daylight, right?”

“Applejack's right.” Twilight said. “We really need to hit the road as soon as possible if we're going to make it in time.” She rocked back and forth on her heels, impatient. “I just wish Fluttershy and Rarity would get here soon.”

“Sorry!” Rarity's voice called out as she rounded the corner. She balanced a cardboard tray of coffee cups in each hand. “I thought we could all use a pick-me-up before we got underway.” She hurried up to the little gathering as fast as she could manage without spilling the steaming hot drinks onto the ground.

“I got everyone's favorites!” Rarity started to distribute the tall paper cups. “There's hazelnut for Sunset, americano for Applejack, whipped-cream caramel mocha triple-expresso for Pinkie Pie, and--” she furrowed her brow. “Where's Fluttershy?”

An old brownish minivan rolled around the corner. The engine sputtered and clacked like an avant garde percussion orchestra, the vibrations enough to make the front fender panels rattle in place. It was the sort of vehicle that hadn't seen better days so much as better decades. If it weren't for the pink haired young woman behind the wheel, the battered brown van would have brought to mind warnings against taking free candy.

Twilight, Rainbow, and all the rest had plenty of time to stare at the van as it slowly edged up to the curb in front of them.

“I can't believe this.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I know. It's perfect!” Twilight said. “That'll have plenty of room for all seven of us.”

“But. But … Fluttershy said she had wheels.”

“It does have wheels.” Sunset Shimmer added as she sipped at her own coffee.

“That's not what I meant! How are we supposed to have a totally awesome road trip in … that? It's like a soccer mom mobile!" Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack cracked a smug grin. "You play soccer."

"That's beside the point! We need to be riding in style! Like, why don't we go get Vinyl Scratch? Her car transforms into a robot boombox thing!”

“Her car only has two seat belts.” Sunset Shimmer added.

“Then, I dunno, what a bout a limo?” Rainbow Dash mused.

“As much as I love to ride in style, darling--” Rarity fussed with her hair. “Renting a limousine for such a long trip would be exorbitantly overpriced.”

“Pppsh, fine.” Rainbow Dash crossed her arms. “I'm at least calling--”

“Shotgun!” Pinkie Pie said, already vibrating slightly from her coffee.

“Aw, come on!”

Finally, Fluttershy pulled up in front of her friends, and the van's brakes let out a low squeal vaguely reminiscent of a humpback whale. She put the van in park, and then began the process of cranking the window down. “Hi.” she said, “I hope I didn't keep you waiting. There were some ducks trying to cross the road, and--”

“It's okay, Fluttershy.” Sunset said, “we understand. A few minutes won't make that much of a difference.”

“Probably won't make much of a difference.” Twilight said.

“All the more reason to hit the road, then.” Sunset Shimmer turned back towards the ragtag group of would-be magical girls. “Load up!”

Fluttershy leaned out the open window, craning her head to get a look at Twilight's backpack. “Where's Spike?” she asked.

“I left him with my brother.” Twilight said, somewhat guilty. “He gets carsick on long trips. And I didn't want him to make a mess of things. Especially if we're gonna be driving so far.”

“Aw.” Fluttershy said, trying (and failing) to hide her dissapointment.

“But I'm sure he'll be happy to see you when you get back?”

Fluttershy perked up. “Oh, that'd be great!”

The other girls stowed their bags in the back of the van, and then clambered in. There was enough room to cram seven teenagers and their luggage in, but just barely. Pinkie Pie claimed her rightful place as the shotgun-caller, Twilight and Sunset sat in the second row bucket seats, while Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack crammed themselves in the rear bench seat. Despite Twilight's earlier enthusiasm, even the minivan's three rows of seats were a tight fit for the bunch of them.

“Uh. Fluttershy? What's that smell?” Rainbow Dash said from where she was squished between Rarity and Applejack.

“Sometimes, when I'm taking animals to the shelter, they get really nervous, and then--”

“Forget I asked.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Don't worry,” Fluttershy said. “You get used to it.”

It took some time to build up speed, due to both Fluttershy's inherent nervousness and the minivan's inherent ramshackleness. Before long, the shops and houses of suburbia gave way to the sort of rolling hills and farmland that made Sweet Apple Acres seem downright metropolitan.

“Look! Cows!” Pinkie Pie leaned out the window to point at the grazing cattle, just to make sure she didn't miss them. She quivered with excitement (and caffeine). “It's a bunch of cows!”

“Herd.” Applejack said.

“What?” Pinkie Pie whipped around, only held in place by the strength of her seatbelt.

“Herd of cows.” Applejack said.

“Of course I've heard of cows, silly! Haven't you? I thought you grew up on a farm!”

“I'm sayin', a cow herd.”

“I really don't think the cow heard me, Applejack! We're going pretty fast! So all they'd hear is wheeeeeeeee!”

“Nevermind.” Applejack stretched out as best she could (read: not very) and tried to get back to her nap. “I hate that joke anyway.”

“What joke?” Pinkie Pie tilted her head to the side, confused.

Applejack pushed the brim of her hat back up and stared down the length of the cramped minivan at Pinkie Pie. She finally thought the better of it and shook her head. “Like I said. Nevermind.”

“So how much longer have we gotta go?” Rainbow Dash leaned forward.

“Well,” Twilight pulled a tablet computer out of her bag and pulled up her GPS app. “We've been on the road for about two hours now so we've got a little over eight hundred miles to go.”

“Wait, only two hours? I thought we'd been on the road a lot longer than that!”

“Perhaps it just seemed longer?” Rarity said. “You are, after all, the most dynamic of our little crew. I imagine sitting cooped up in this van for so long must be absolute torture.”

“It wasn't until you brought it up, Rarity.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“But that's alright! I came prepared!” Rainbow Dash squirmed in her seat, elbowing Rarity and Applejack both (if by accident) as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket. “While I was packing last night, I made a totally awesome road trip playlist!”

“Oooooh, neat!” Pinkie Pie made grabby hands from the front passenger's seat. “Give it here, and I'll plug it in!”

“You got it!” Rainbow Dash passed her phone up front, and Pinkie Pie began to scroll through the songs selected- only to blink in confusion at what she saw. “Uh. Rainbow Dash? I think your phone's broken or something. Your road trip playlist just has that 'Danger Zone' song over and over and over again.”

“That's why it's so awesome!”

“You know … “ Twilight turned to look at Rainbow Dash. “You could've just put the one track on repeat for the same effect.”

“But then you'd miss the covers! If a band covers Danger Zone, I always get that track. Always.”

Twilight blinked. “You … do have other songs on your phone, right?”

“Of course I do! I've got the whole Top Gun soundtrack!”

“Hey Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie ran her fingers over the van's aged and cracked center console. “Where's the audio jack?”

Fluttershy jumped a little in her seat as someone talked to her, but she kept her eyes resolutely on the road, and her fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. “Um. What's an audio jack?”

“You know, the thingie where you can plug in your phone and then play music over the stereo?”

“I … don't think the van has one of those.”

“Really? Huh. So where's the bluetooth button?”

“Doesn't have one of those either.”

“USB port?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Nope.”

“So there's no way to listen to make the music from your phone go to the car?”

“The van's a little old.” Fluttershy said.

“Told you we should've taken Vinyl Scratch's robot boombox car.” Rainbow Dash said.

“What do you even listen to?” Pinkie Pie said, more bewildered than usual.

“NPR,” said Fluttershy, “And sometimes books on tape.”

“Wooooooow!” Pinkie Pie leaned forward 'til her nose pressed against the radio controls. “So that's what a cassette deck looks like! I thought they were only in 80's robot cartoons! Does it still work?” Pinkie Pie started pushing buttons at random.

“Wait--” Fluttershy gasped, but she was too late to stop Pinkie before she could hit the 'play' button.

“--ran her trembling fingertips over his broad, sculpted chest. Fernando didn't flinch when Sarah touched the scar next to his navel, but when she moved her hand lower--”

Fluttershy's hand snapped out, cobra-fast, and mashed the 'eject' button so hard that the cassette tape sprung out of its slot and shot across the minivan's interior.

“I have no idea how that got in there.” Fluttershy said, even as she flushed a bright, bright red.

Twilight picked the tape off the carpeted van floor. “Passion on the Panama Canal?”

“I have no idea how that got in there.” Fluttershy said.

“Sounds dirty.” Rainbow said, if in a somewhat approving way.

“I have no idea how that got in there.”

“We believe you, Fluttershy.” Sunset Shimmer finally looked away from where she'd been gazing out the window. She took a moment to give the other girls in the van a look, making sure the matter was settled.

“So, Twilight.” Rarity chimed in, changing the subject. “Have you been able to figure out what the magic thingie will be just yet?”

“Nothing specific.” Twilight sighed, and took off her glasses so she could rub at her eyes. “I'm having to invent whole new branches of mathematics in order to get my head around 'magic' being a thing in the first place. I feel like Issac Newton when he was inventing calculus. Which is funny, as Newton was also an alchemist and occultist himself.”

“Issac who?” Rainbow Dash said.

“You know, the apple guy?” said Applejack.

“Wait, that dude in the turtleneck who built our phones?” Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight facepalmed. “Just forget I brought it up.”

“Do you mind if I take a look at it?” Sunset Shimmer turned to Twilight and smiled. “I don't mean to brag or anything, but I probably know more about magic than anybody else on the planet. Except for Twilight Sparkle.” Sunset paused. “Er, I mean, my Twilight. I mean- uh, the Twilight from my dimension. The Princess. Oooh, that sounded awkward.” She scratched at the back of her neck.

“Hey, it's alright. I'm still getting used to the idea of having an extradimensional doppelganger myself.” Twilight said, “I've got all my notes in here. If you have any questions, just ask.” She handed her tablet over to Sunset, and their fingertips brushed against each other in a brief, electric moment.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash thrust her head between Twilight and Sunset. “Do you think we'll meet ourselves at the magic thingie?”

Twilight leaned back in her seat and tapped at her chin. “I suppose there is a chance that the dimensional incursion might have a temporal component, which could lead to a time loop of some sort … “

“No, like, I want to know if other-us is gonna come through the magic thing!” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, Twilight-- the other Twilight, sorry, said that she was best friends with other versions of us back wherever she's from … so what if it's those us'es that are coming through the magic portal thingamajig?”

“That's … not impossible.” Twilight mused. “Though I would presume that any of Twilight- I mean, any of my doppelganger's friends would pass through the same gateway she did, back at Canterlot High.”

“Unless they're going on a kickin' road trip too!” Rainbow Dash said, grinning. She looked between Sunset and Twilight. “Honestly, I don't know why you say this magic stuff is so hard. I've got it all figured out already!”

“Let's just hope it's as easy as you say it is.” Sunset Shimmer didn't look up from Twilight's notes.

Rainbow Dash sat back in her own seat and clasped her hands behind her head (even if Rarity and Applejack had to lean to the side in order to avoid the blue girl's elbows). “Man. Two of me. That would be so cool.”

“It'd be somethin', alright.” Applejack deadpanned.

Rainbow Dash stared at the van's ceiling for a minute or so, marveling at the thought of having another Rainbow Dash around. “So … “ she thought aloud, “if you run into another version of yourself, and then you make out with yourself, that's not weird, right?”

The van went quiet, and everyone inside slowly turned to stare at Rainbow Dash. Well, everyone except Fluttershy, who kept her eyes on the road (even if she did eye Rainbow Dash through the rear view mirror).

“Oh come on!” Rainbow Dash blurted, “I'm not the only one who's thinking it!”

“Kinda think ya are.” Applejack mused.

“That's okay, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie beamed. “I wouldn't mind making out with me either! Or you! Or anybody! I like to keep my options open.”

“Y'all are just makin' this weird.” Applejack murmured.

“To be fair,” Rarity twisted a bit so she could look at the cowgirl as she spoke to her. “We do occasionally grow pony ears and start glowing through the magic of friendship, so it's not as if we're exactly the definition of 'normal.'”

“Ain't that. It's the other stuff.”

“Why, Applejack! I knew you had a rural upbringing, but I thought the better of you! We live in the twenty first century! It's absolutely imperative that we accept everyone for who they are. Why, who are we to stand in the way of love?” Rarity clasped her hands together and sighed, enraptured by thoughts of glorious romance. “Love has no borders, nationalities, or genders!”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “Isn't that from that Guitar Wolf movie?”

“Shh,” Rarity said.

“It's not the 'two girls' thing that's weird,” Applejack said, “it's the fact that one of the girls is you. And also a horse. Er, no offense, Sunset.”

“Technically, I'm a pony.” Sunset said.

“See! I can't believe you'd be so insensitive, Applejack.” Rarity leaned past Rainbow Dash to poke Applejack with an accusatory finger. “Can't you even get the terminology right? Besides, whenever ponies come through the portal, it turns them into people-- er, turns them into humans in the process, so honestly, there's nothing to make a fuss about.”

Applejack glared back at Rarity. “So you're tellin' me that iffin' another Rarity came from Ponyland--”

“Ponyville.” Sunset Shimmer corrected.

“--from wherever, you'd be all over, well, you?”

“Ah.” Rarity's cheeks tinted in a faint blush. “I don't know if I'd go that far. Although, I suppose it would be useful to have a second version of myself handy when I'm working on a larger project, or when I need a model for a new design.”

“I ain't askin' if another you would be useful, I'm askin' if another you would be sexy.”

“Ah. Yes. Well. It's not something I'd considered. Although I'm sure I have a long list of admirers who would be absolutely thrilled to have doubled the objects of their affection.” Rarity paused. “Of course, if there were two Rarities, then I wouldn't be nearly as unique, would I?”

“Oh man, why didn't I think of that?” Rainbow Dash said. “Forget Pony-Rainbow. What if Applejack's Ponyville brother came through the portal, and then I got Applejack's brother from this dimension, and--”

“So help me Rainbow Dash, I will throw you out the window if you finish that sentence.” Applejack cracked her knuckles.

For possibly the first time in her life, Rainbow Dash did the sensible thing, and shut up. “Spoilsport.”

Up front, a warning light on the dashboard chimed and nearly startled Fluttershy out of her seat.

“Oh!” she said, and looked down. “I knew I forgot something.”

“What's up?” Pinkie Pie said.

“I was so busy this morning, I forgot to fill the tank.”

“That's okay! Sometimes I get so busy, I forget to wear underpants!” Pinkie Pie said, cheery. She paused, and then looked down, tugging the waistband of her skirt out a little. “Oh good, I remembered. Whew.” She wiped sweat off her forehead, and let the elastic snap back into place.

Sunset Shimmer leaned towards the center of van and looked out the windshield. “Looks like there's a truck stop up ahead. It'll give us all a chance to stretch our legs.”

“And use the bathroom!” Pinkie Pie began to fidget. “I don't know about you guys, but I think that whipped-cream caramel mocha triple-espresso is catching up with me.”

Fluttershy pushed down on the accelerator.

Author's Note

Also, on a tangent, this story now has a THEME SONG.

Haven't quite found a way to work it into the story, so I'm just sharing it here.

Chapter 3

“They've got an extra t.” Twilight said as she peered out the window.

“I dunno, Twilight. This seems like more of a coffee kinda place.” Pinkie Pie said.

“Not tea, Pinkie. 'T'. The letter. On the sign.” Twilight leaned forward and rested a hand on the back of Pinkie Pie's seat, and pointed at the flickering neon red lettering that bore the words: PITT STOP.

“Huh.” Pinkie Pie scratched at her head. “Maybe it's a typo?”

“How do you even make a typo on a neon sign?” Twilight said,

“They found a way!”

The Pitt Stop was a squat building of white-painted concrete at the center of a sea of asphalt. Tractor trailers lumbered around the stop like massive, smoke-belching whales. Stains of dubious provenance dotted the parking lot, the walls of the central building, and even the neon sign itself. A motley collection of faded, hand-written posters inside the windows advertised the Pitt Stop's unique status as both a tavern and a pancake shop.

“Guys?” Sunset Shimmer said. “This place looks a little rough, so let's just be careful, okay?”

“Pssh. It doesn't look that bad.” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides, everyone knows all the creepy truck stop murder hobos only come out at night.”

“M-m-murder hobos?” The steering wheel creaked underneath Fluttershy's death grip.

Applejack elbowed Rainbow Dash. “Don't scare her!”

“I'm not!” Rainbow Dash squeaked. “I'm helping! The sun's still up, so all the face-eating maniacs are still hiding!”

“F-f-f-face eating?” Fluttershy said.

“Don't worry, Fluttershy. You've helped save the world three times now.” Sunset Shimmer leaned forward and put a hand on the pink-haired girl's shoulder. “You can handle a gross gas station. Just … make sure you wash your hands, okay?”

“Okay.” Fluttershy said. She breathed deeply, attempting to steady herself. “Washing your hands is important.”

“Especially in a place like this.” Sunset Shimmer mused. Fluttershy parked in front of one of the gas pumps. No sooner had she shut off the engine, the doors all opened, and seven sweaty, road-mad girls piled out into the (comparatively) fresh air.

“You guys go ahead.” Sunset Shimmer reached into her jacket and pulled out a gleaming black credit card. “I'll take care of the gas.”

Later, after the septet took the opportunity to use the Pitt Stop's facilities (and wash their hands thoroughly afterward), they trailed back to the battered brown minivan in pairs and trios.

“So … let me get this straight,” Twilight said as she adjusted her grip on the bag full of supplies she'd bought. “Mothers and significant others of the driver take priority.”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded.

“And the vehicle has to be in view.”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded.

“And we have to be outside the building.”

“Right.”

“So that means I just say … shotgun?”

Rainbow Dash blinked, and then looked between the brown van and her purple-haired friend, stunned. “Oh come on!”

“If it means that much to you, you can have the seat?”

“No no,” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “The rules are rules. You called it, you get it.” She even went so far as to open up the door for Twilight. “Just remember.” Rainbow Dash held up a warning finger. “Shotgun is a responsibility.”

“I'll, uh, keep that in mind.” Twilight said.

“Oh, hey guys.” Sunset Shimmer returned to the car, with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie on her heels. Sunset twirled a set of keys around one finger, while Pinkie Pie strained to look over the stack of junk food she'd acquired. “I thought I'd give Fluttershy a break.” Sunset said, and slid into the driver's seat.

“Thanks.” Fluttershy murmured.

“Hey, where's Rarity? Where's Applejack?” Pinkie Pie said from behind her swaying tower of grease and/or sugar based foodstuffs.

The doors to the Pitt Stop burst open, and Rarity hit the parking lot at a full sprint.

“GET IN THE CAR!” Rarity had a surprising volume for someone at a dead run.

“Silly Rarity,” Pinkie Pie beamed, “It's a van!”

“GET IN THE VAN, THEN!” Rarity yelled.

Behind her, Applejack crashed through the still swinging glass doors, while grappling with a beer-gutted, trucker-hatted man easily twice her size. Applejack grabbed two fistfuls of his plaid shirt, and then slammed her forehead straight into his nose, hard enough that the ensuing 'crunch!' could be heard across the parking lot. The big man went down, swearing and clutching at his face. Applejack swung a swift kick into his ribs, scooped up her hat, and bolted to the van (in cowboy boots, no less) with the sort of speed that made Rainbow Dash jealous.

“THE HELL ARE Y'ALL WAITIN' FOR!?” Applejack shouted.

Spurred to action, Sunset Shimmer cranked the ignition, and the battered brown minivan began to sputter to life. The other girls scrambled into the minivan as fast as they could manage, only to get in each other's way. Applejack didn't slow down as she reached the van, instead flinging herself inside and across the floor. She pulled her legs out of the way, and Rarity slammed the sliding door shut.

“Go, go, go!” Rarity said, even as she stared in horror as the trucker Applejack had fought rose back to his feet.

Needing no further encouragement, Sunset Shimmer slammed down on the accelerator, and took off. The van couldn't quite manage rubber-burning speed, but it was at least enough to outpace an overweight man in a Lynrd Skynrd cap.

“Um.” Twilight said, shaken. “What was that?”

“Seriously! How come Applejack got to fight a dude and I didn't!? It's not fair!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Please, Rainbow. Be glad you had nothing to do with it. It began simply enough, when that … ruffian spied me while I was perusing some of the T-shirts on sale. Highway Kitsch could be the next big thing, you know. I thought he was just being polite at first, when he complemented me on my heels.” Rarity wiggled one ankle, showing off the stylish (if somewhat impractical) shoes she was wearing. “But then he kept fixating on my footwear, at which point he started breathing heavily. Thankfully, before things could become … untoward, Applejack stepped up in a great show of gallantry!”

“Say what?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Guy was getting' all weird 'bout Rarity's feet, so I hit 'im with a chair.” Applejack translated.

“My hero!” Rarity pulled Applejack into an adoring hug, which Applejack might've appreciated a little more if her forehead wasn't still stinging from delivering a headbutt moments before.

“Wow! That jerk's lucky I wasn't there! I totally would've uppercutted him through the ceiling!” Rainbow Dash said, and mimed the action. "Boosh!"

“Are we going to get in trouble?” Fluttershy twisted around in the backseat and peered out the rear window, and the rapidly shrinking Pitt Stop. “Will he call the police?”

“Yeah, right. What's he gonna say?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Hey Officer, I just got beat up by a little girl? He'd be the laughingstock of all the truck … people. That's a thing, right? Truck people?”

“Like Optimus Prime?” Pinkie Pie said.

“No, Pinkie, not like Optimus Prime.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I guess you're right there! 'cause Optimus Prime was always nice in that cartoon! I bet he'd never perv over anybody's toes!”

“I think we'll be fine.” Sunset Shimmer said, even as she checked the rear view mirror to make sure they weren't being tailed. Thankfully, the dusty highway behind them was clear. “From the look of that place, someone getting hit with a chair probably isn't all that out of the ordinary. But we'd better be careful the next time we stop. Last thing we need is to draw too much attention while we're on our way to save the world.”

“What about on the way back?” Pinkie Pie said.

Sunset Shimmer cracked a grin. “We'll see.”

Mile blurred into mile, and hour blurred into hour as Sunset Shimmer drove down the highway. Forests and farmland gave way to more arid, rocky terrain. They got into a rhythm, stopping every so often to resupply, re-arrange seating, and relieve themselves. Thankfully, none of the gas stations they stopped at were as characterful as the Pitt Stop, so the journey pressed on without incident.

For the most part.

As the sun was beginning to set over the desert, something sputtered beneath the dashboard.

“What was that?” Sunset Shimmer asked. No warning lights were showing, but the sudden wheezing sound was a new one, different from the various knocks and clacks she'd come to expect from the decades-old engine.

Twilight Sparkle held a hand in front of one of the vents, and turned a couple of knobs on the center console. “The good news is, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the engine, so we can keep going.”

“The bad news?” Sunset Shimmer asked.

“The air conditioning's busted.”

A collective groan rose up from the rear of the van.

“But that's not anything we can't deal with as long as we stay hydrated to avoid heatstroke.” Twilight tried to put an optimistic face on it.

“I bet the AC wouldn't break on Vinyl Scratch's car.” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Quit yer bellyachin' 'bout Vinyl Scratch's damn car.” Applejack grumbled from beneath the brim of her hat. “It ain't doin' anybody a lick a good.”

“Please don't fight!” Pinkie Pie said, her blue eyes wide in desperation. “I can't stand it! Just hearing you guys argue makes me sick to my stomach! Urp.” She held a hand up to her mouth, and her pink complexion began to fade to more of a green. “Or … that might just be the sushi.”

“I told you not to eat gas station sushi.” Rarity scolded.

“But it looked so fancy!” Pinkie Pie whined, and clutched at her stomach a moment. “I thought I'd be, like, cultured and stuff.”

“The only thing cultured about gas station sushi is grown in a petri dish.” Twilight said from the front of the car.

She got five blank stares.

“Don't worry. I got it.” Sunset Shimmer said, and reached out to pat Twilight on the arm.

Twilight looked down at the hand, and then up to Sunset. “Thanks.” She said, and took a moment to adjust her glasses.

“Don't worry about me, guys.” Pinkie Pie forced her now-emerald face into a rictus grin. “I just need a little fresh air, is all.” Pinkie Pie said, and stuck her head out the window. It was a lucky thing, too, as she soon let out a wet, sickly sound, and heaved up the offending gas station sushi (along with some gas station nachos, several gas station corn dogs, and a sobering amount of candy besides).

“Aw jeez, are you okay?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Hunky dory.” Pinkie Pie lied, and turned to offer her friend a thumbs up. “I think that was the worst of-- wait, no, hold on.” She stuck her head out the window again and made a messy, wet sound, painful to hear, much less experience.

“That's it, we're stopping.” Sunset Shimmer said.

“Ain't we got a lot of drivin' to go?” Applejack said. “Y'know, impending magical disaster n' all?”

“I know.” Sunset Shimmer grit her teeth. “Twilight, how are we doing on time?”

“Let's see … “ Twilight looked to the van's clock (the one feature on the vehicle that seemed to be operating at full capacity) and then to her own notes on her tablet. “The incursion won't take place until sometime tomorrow … and we're actually only a few hours drive away.”

“So we have enough time to pull over somewhere?”

“Theoretically, yes,” Twilight said, “We'd have to hit the road early tomorrow, though … “

“Then it's settled. We'll stop somewhere for the night, and push hard tomorrow morning. We run on friendship magic, after all. It won't do anyone any good if we're exhausted and at each others' throats by the time we get to where we're going.”

“But where will we stay?” said Rarity, “the last town we passed was barely more than a stoplight and a gas station, and I'm quite certain the next one won't be any better.”

“Don't worry, I've got an idea.” She flicked on the van's highbeams, and light reflected off the lettering of a brown sign a little ways down the road.

APPLEOOSA NATIONAL PARK

16 MILES

Author's Note

Okay, I may be playing around with real world to pony world geography in putting Appleoosa (or at least a place named after Appleoosa) so far from Canterlot High ... but eh. Not like any of this is canon anyway. ;)

Chapter 4

“Next time, do you think Twilight could predict a disaster in Paris?”

“Don't think it works that way Rarity. 'Sides, last thing we need is a magic whatchamacallit goin' off in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world."

“It doesn't have to be Paris. The Riviera would do in a pinch.” Rarity brushed some sand off of a tree stump, and settled down. "Or at least someplace less ... rustic?"

“Stop complainin'.” Applejack looked up from the campfire she'd built. “This place is downright gorgeous, iffin' you pay attention.”

Applejack was right. Settled up at the foot of a mountain, Appleoosa was a gorgeous state park. Tall pine trees stretched up from the rocky soil, nourished by a swift-running natural spring. Apart from the sleepy park ranger at the gate, and a few retiree-filled RV's, there were no other people around. Spring Break was the off season at Appleoosa National Park … though the park's relative remoteness made one wonder if there was an 'on' season to begin with. The girls had an entire camping area to themselves, situated neatly between a handful of rounded, bus-sized boulders, and a natural pool in the cool mountain stream.

“Hmf. I concede there is a certain … pastoral quality to our surroundings, yes. But it still leaves a lot to be desired in the way of accommodations.”

“Rarity, a four star hotel would leave a lot in the way of accomodatin' to you.”

“You'd be surprised how often such highly rated hotels use the wrong kind of terrycloth for their bathrobes, or have a sub-par brand of morning breath mints.”

“Good thing I didn't bring any robes or peppermints, then.”

“Still, if I'd known we'd be … roughing it, so to speak, I would have come prepared.”

“Iffin' you came prepared, I reckon' there'd be no room for the rest of us.”

“Applejack! You offend me. I'd never bring an excess of necessities, to the point where I'd burden my best friends.”

“Really?”

“Of course! I'd just hook up a trailer to Fluttershy's van.”

Applejack facepalmed, and then set back to the very important business of poking the simmering fire with a stick. “Welp, ya ain't got a trailer. 'Sides, weather's nice. I reckon it'll be good for the lot of us to sleep under the stars.”

“Sleep on what, pray tell? Unless you've got a proper bed in that bag of yours?”

“Close 'nuff to it.” Applejack said. She opened up her duffel bag and rummaged out a thick woolen blanket, setting it on the ground beside her. “All we need's a flat, dry stretch of ground, and we'll be fine.”

“Sorry we took so long!” Rainbow Dash walked up to the fire with an armload of sticks and branches. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie followed, laden just the same. “Fluttershy got distracted by a giant chipmunk.” She unceremoniously dumped her firewood in a pile.

“It was a marmot.” Fluttershy said, and set her own sticks down, albeit a little more carefully. “His name was Brian.”

“Hey, where's Sunset? Where's Twilight?” Pinkie Pie said. “Shouldn't they be back by now?”

“Hope some creepy hill-mutant didn't get them!” Rainbow Dash said with no small degree of relish, and nudged Fluttershy.

“Mutant?” Fluttershy squeaked. “There's no such thing as … “

“Sure there are!” Rainbow Dash said, “Haven't you seen any slasher movies, like, ever?”

“Um. No?” Fluttershy sank down onto a log-turned bench, and pulled her knees to her chest. “They're so scary.”

Applejack glared at Rainbow Dash. “Now don't you start.”

“Aw, c'mon! Admit it. This is totally the setup for every horror movie like ever. Bunch of girls out alone, in the woods. And then some maniac starts picking us off, one by one, until there's just one girl left!”

“Only one?”

“Yep! Unless you're watching one of those really hardcore ones where everybody dies. Kind of a downer, though.”

“Come now, Rainbow. Everyone knows those are just movies.” Rarity fussed. “Completely fictional.”

“Yeah, we ain't got a thing to worry 'bout out here. 'cept makin' sure there ain't any scorpions in your boots 'fore ya put 'em on in the morning.”

Rainbow Dash's expression fell. “Scorpions?”

So did Rarity's. “In your boots?”

“Oh yeah, that happens all the time.” Applejack said. “Gets cold at night, so they wanna find someplace dark and warm … “

“Really?” Fluttershy started to tug her boots off. “That's so cute! Arachnids are so adorable with their scrambly little legs! When do you think they'll come visit?”

“See Fluttershy! Nothing to worry about!” Pinkie Pie said. “Besides, Sunset and Twilight can turn into big glowy wingey super magic wizard ladies! Between those two, some crazy guy with a chainsaw doesn't stand a chance!”

“Yeah,” Applejack prodded the fire again, sending up a small plume of glowing sparks. “Let's just hope them two got better stuff to than chase around crazy folk in masks.”

“There you are.” Twilight said. She huffed as she pulled herself up to the top of the sandstone boulder Sunset had picked as her perch. “I … I was getting worried about you.”

“Oh, sorry.” Sunset looked over her shoulder at her friend, and smiled wanly. “I must have lost track of time. Just … wanted to get a little alone time, I guess.”

“After so many hours cooped up in that van, I don't blame you,” Twilight said, “I mean, you're … I mean, they're all great. But--”

“It's possible to have too much of a good thing?”

“Exactly.”

Sunset laughed. “I just hope Pinkie Pie isn't feeling sick anymore.”

Pinkie's infectious laughter echoed faintly from the pond on the other end of the campsite. “SKINNY DIPPING, WOO!”

Twilight's eyes widened, and she looked back over her shoulder. “I think she's recovered.” She drummed her fingers on the rough sandstone. “Uh. Mind if I stay up here? I … think I'd like to keep my clothes on.”

“Sure.” Sunset smiled, and patted the warm rock beside her. She clasped her hands behind her head and leaned back, staring up at the shockingly clear night sky. Twilight settled down beside Sunset, head lined up beside hers, feet pointing in the opposite direction.

While Sunset and Twilight were silent, the surrounding forest certainly was not. Crickets chirped. Wind rustled through the tall pines. Coyotes howled somewhere further up the mountain. Faint, familiar voices and the sound of splashing burbled up from a shorter distance. Those voices were the only reminder that Sunset and Twilight weren't the last two people in the world.

It was wonderful.

It was terrible.

“Are they different?” Twilight said.

“Hm?”

“The stars. Are they different? Back where you're, um … from?”

“Yeah.” Sunset said. “... a lot of things are different.”

“Oh wow. That's fascinating! I mean, if the stars are different, that means that your, um, the planet you're from, could be somewhere else in the universe entirely! Which means that there could be a spatial-element to the spatial incursions. How well do you remember your constellations? With enough data I might even be able to pinpoint where Equestria is, and then if we had access to a powerful enough telescope … “

Sunset Shimmer turned her head towards Twilight. The academic enthusiasm made her smile- and made something in her chest tighten. “And some things stay the same.”

Twilight babbled on about figures and calculations for a few moments more before she registered the look on Sunset Shimmer's face.

“Uh.” She said. “Are you okay?”

“What?” Sunset shook her head, and sat up suddenly. “I'm fine! Totally fine. Everything's fine.”

“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle sucked in a breath, and sat up herself, facing away from the firey-haired girl. “I get it. I reminded you of … well, your home, didn't I? I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll … I'll go.” Twilight's sneakers scuffed against the rock as she stood up.

“No.” Sunset Shimmer said, turning around. “It's not that. It's not you. Or, well … it's not your fault. You just look like her.”

“Who?”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“Of course I look like Twilight,” Twilight began. “That's because I--” and then it struck her. “Oh. That Twilight.”

“Sorry.” Sunset Shimmer winced. “It's not fair to you. I mean, you look exactly like her, and … wow. This is awkward, isn't it?” She forced a laugh, trying (if unsuccessfully) to defuse the situation.

“It's not awkward.” Twilight laughed as well, just as unconvincingly. “Why should it be awkward? It's just a simple chance of, uh, mistaken identity, I guess? I mean, when you think about it, Twilight-- other Twilight, that is, and I have nothing in common. I mean, she's an important magic princess, and I'm just some nerd who's still in high school.”

“You shouldn't say it like that.”

“It's true! Whatever I do, I'm never gonna live up to this other … me.”

“Don't say that.” Sunset said, and took hold of Twilight's hand. She interlaced her fingers with Twilight's, and turned her around. “You're brilliant. You're driven. You managed to cobble together machines that not only could detect magical energy, but also contain it, using nothing more than some broken electronics you found in a closet.”

“I almost destroyed the world!” Twilight blurted.

“So did I.” Sunset's lips turned up in a smile. “Only it took me a couple of years of study and a couple of ancient magic artifacts before I was powerful enough to be a threat to anybody. It took you, what, months? Weeks?”

“It was irresponsible!”

“It was impressive.”

“I can't believe you're spinning how quickly I turned crazy and evil as a good thing.”

“If anyone can appreciate it, it's me.”

“You're not that shabby yourself, you know.” Twilight looked down to her hand entangled with Sunset's, as if it only registered to her at that very moment. Still, she didn't pull away. “You're smart. You're understanding. You're … pretty.”

“Twilight, I--” before Sunset could say anything else, Twilight closed the half-step between them, and leaned in for a brief, chaste kiss. It was still enough to make the blood pound in Sunset's ears.

“I've never kissed a girl before.” Twilight murmured. “I've never kissed anyone before, actually.” She said, briefly lost in thought.

“I shouldn't.” Sunset Shimmer said, and reluctantly dragged her fingers out of Twilight's grip.

“What?” Twilight's voice cracked.

“It … it wouldn't be fair to you.”

“Why not?” Twilight sniffed a little, and fiddled nervously with her glasses. “It … it's me, isn't it? I mean, her. I mean … other me.”

“Yes.” Sunset Shimmer buried her face in her hands. “It's … I've never told anyone but ... I think I'm in love with Twilight Sparkle. The other one. And you look like her, you sound like her, you smell like her … but--”

“I'm not a princess.” Twilight said, and took a step back.

“That's not it! It's just … I knew the other Twilight before I knew you, and … I honestly don't even know where to begin.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “'I'm in love with your clone from another dimension' is too crazy even for daytime TV.”

“Maybe you need to read more science fiction?” Twilight blurted, by reflex. Sunset stared at her, bewildered, and Twilight went on for lack of anything better to say. “You'd be surprised what some people have thought up before. I'm sure I've got a book that deals with something like that somewhere.”

Sunset Shimmer blinked teary eyes, and let out a relieved laugh. “Couldn't hurt. Not like there's a lot of other options.”

“Right?” Twilight said. “So. Um. I'm … sorry I brought this up. Just forget it ever happened, okay?”

“I won't.” Sunset said. “This is just a crazy time, you know? We're all half crazy from being cooped up in that van all day, and tomorrow we've got to deal with some kind of magical disaster. Everyone's on edge. But, whatever happens, I know I'm going to need everyone's support to make it through. Including yours. Last thing we need right now is to … complicate things.”

“Right.” Twilight drew herself up straighter. “No complications.”

“But once we make it back home, we can talk, okay?” Sunset Shimmer said. “We'll figure it out.”

“Later.” Twilight heaved a sigh. “I guess that's better than running off into the woods crying.”

“Much better. Now c'mon. We should get back to camp before it gets even darker.” Sunset Shimmer crossed the big boulder and carefully began to climb downward. Twilight Sparkle followed, if a little less surefooted.

By the time they made it back to their base camp, the fire was burning low, and their other five friends had bundled up beneath Applejack's blanket. Sunset Shimmer quirked a brow as she noted a few stray pieces of clothing scattered around the campsite, but it was too dark, and she was too tired to figure out which ones belonged to who.

“Sunset?” Twilight said, “I'm just going to sleep in the van. It's … I … I think I'd like some quiet, that's all.”

“Sure.” Sunset didn't press the matter. “See you in the morning?”

“Of course.”

Sunset didn't know what woke her up first. The rain, the yelling, or the honking of the van's horn. It all registered at once in a damp, loud, bewildering assault on her senses.

“WAKE UP!” Twilight leaned out the window of the van, and smashed away at the horn. “EVERYONE, WAKE UP! WE'VE OVERSLEPT! WE NEED TO GO, NOW!”

Groggy, Sunset pushed herself to her feet, and scooped up the backpack she'd been using as a pillow. Her friends scrambled about the campsite in varying states of dress in what could be best described as a pandemonium. Rarity stuffed objects at random into Applejack's duffel bag, while Applejack herself hurriedly dumped a bucket of water upon the fire and stomped on the embers to make sure it was out. Fluttershy carefully tilted her shoes towards the ground, graciously allowing a family of tiny orange scorpions to scuttle out.

“HURRY!” Twilight shouted, voice desperate. “THERE ISN'T ANY TIME!”

A few panicked minutes later, Sunset Shimmer swung into the passenger's seat, while the rest of her friends hurriedly packed themselves into the van. Fortunately, not having any camping gear meant actually breaking camp was a lot easier, and the girls were underway in a matter of minutes.

“How much time do we have?” Sunset said.

“Not enough!” Twilight turned the ignition, slammed the van into drive, and sped away from the camping area, kicking up mud and gravel behind her.

Sunset clung to her armrests as Twilight rocked the van around a too-tight corner.

“Uh. Twilight?” Sunset said. “Do you know how to drive?”

“Theoretically!” Twilight said, and gunned the engine.

“What do you mean, theoretically?”

Twilight sped past the ranger station and hit the main highway at a speed typically reserved for race tracks. “Technically, I don't have a driver's license, but this is just another machine, right? I've watched you and Fluttershy drive. Once you understand the underlying principles, operating it is easy.” The corner of Twilight's eye began to twitch. “Easy!”

Sunset Shimmer put on her seat belt.

“Woooo!” Pinkie said from somewhere in the backseat.

“Um. Pinkie?” Fluttershy murmured. “Maybe you should put on some clothes?”

“I can't! They're packed way down at the bottom of everything in the back!” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“She can get dressed when we get there!” Twilight snapped. The whole van rocked as she whipped around a curve.

“Do I have to?” Pinkie Pie said.

“Twilight,” Sunset Shimmer said. “You've got to slow down.”

“I can't! I slept in too late, and now the dimensional disturbance might already have happened!” The van swayed from side to side on the slick asphalt. “It's all my fault!”

“Twilight,” Sunset Shimmer clutched at her seat belt, and tried to keep her voice as level as possible. “If you drive us into a tree, then we can't help anyone. You need to slow down.”

“I have this perfectly under control!” Twilight lied as she wrestled with the steering wheel.

Red and blue lights flared in the rear view mirror.

“Twilight, please.” Sunset Shimmer placed her hand over Twilight's on the steering wheel. “I know we're running late, but the world hasn't ended yet, so I think we have some time. Now just calm down, and pull over.”

“Pull over?” Twilight's gaze flicked to the sirens flashing from behind her. “Oh no. Oh no. We're going to get arrested! This is going to go on my permanent record! I'm going to become a criminal!” She began to hyperventilate.

“Trust me, Twilight. We're going to think of something.”

“Something?” Twilight blurted. “How? I don't have a driver's license, I'm breaking pretty much every traffic law there is, we're in a van that none of us technically own, and Pinkie Pie's naked in the back seat!”

“Hey! I'm not naked!” Pinkie Pie declared. “I've got a hat!”

“So that's where that went.” Applejack said.

“And it'll only get worse if we keep going.” Sunset Shimmer looked back in the rear view mirror. The rain fell harder, obscuring everything but their tail's headlights and sirens. “Trust me, Twilight. This van can't outrun a highway cruiser.”

“Okay. Okay.” Twilight said, and pushed slowly down on the brake. She managed to keep the van under control as she let off speed, finally bringing it to a halt at the side of the road. “Now what?”

“Okay, now … “ Sunset Shimmer said, “now, we just tell the nice officer that we panicked when we started getting rained on, and … well, that's true, right? Hopefully he'll let us off with a warning. I mean, we're just kids, right?”

“And if he doesn't?”

“I've broken out of Equestrian jails before.” Sunset Shimmer said.

The highway cruiser came to a halt behind them, and a tall, lithe figure stepped out, obscured by the rain. Only his silhouette was visible as he crossed the short distance to the van. The girls in the back raptly watched his approach with mounting terror.

“Uh. Guys?” Rainbow Dash said. “Is it just me, or does he look … horny?”

“Now is not the time for ribaldry, Rainbow!” Rarity glared.

“Not that.” Rainbow Blanched. “I meant that the cop has horns sticking out of his head.”

“Oh no.” Twilight held a hand up to her mouth. “Maybe the incursion's set off some sort of genetic destabilization, and--”

“It's not that.” Sunset Shimmer said as she felt her mouth go dry. “It's worse.”

The highway patrolman rapped on the window, and Twilight reluctantly rolled the window down. At a glance, everything was in place: wide-brimmed hat, aviator sunglasses, thick moustache.

But they were on a long, fuzzy, and decidedly inhuman face.

A clawed hand pulled the sunglasses downward, revealing mad, yellow eyes.

“Ladies.”

Everyone in the car gaped at the absurd sight. Except for Sunset Shimmer, who clutched her armrests hard enough to tear the fabric.

“Discord.” Sunset said.

Chapter 5

Discord cackled, as was his nature.

He took off the sunglasses and moustache and threw them over his shoulder, where they exploded once they hit the wet asphalt. The rain suddenly stopped, disappearing along with the rest of Discord's police uniform. “You should see the look on your faces!” He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, and clutched at his sides as he laughed and laughed.

“What is that thing?” Twilight Sparkle said once she could keep her jaw from hanging open.

“That,” Sunset gritted her teeth. “Is Discord. He's a chaos-mad trickster god from Equestria.”

“You wound me!” An arrow flew out of nowhere and struck Discord in the chest. He flopped down out of view, and then popped up on the other side of the van, sticking his long neck in through Sunset's window. “I'm a reformed chaos-mad trickster god from Equestria!”

“Reformed?” Twilight blurted.

“You don't remember?”

“Should I?” Twilight said.

“Nobody ever forgets me.” Discord's voice dropped to a more menacing timbre. He leaned in, close enough for his goat-beard to tickle Twilight's chin. “Unless … “ Discord's skull went temporarily transparent, showing a steadily turning set of gears inside. “Oh. So that's it. I should have known! New dimension, new people. Or, rather, new incarnations of old people. Or … well, I'm sure you get the gist of it, don't you, my dear Twilight?”

“I'm still trying to get the hang of it.”

“Honestly, I can only blame myself. I got so caught up in looking at your inner aura, I forgot to pay attention to your physical form! That happens sometimes with us higher life forms, you know. How do you like being bipedal? Just having the two feet can be bit … wobbly.” Discord's entire body rippled, as if it were suddenly a liquid, only to solidify a second later. “But I must say, you've got a wonderful set of thumbs.” Discord pinched Twilight's hand between his fingers, all the better to examine her opposable digits.

“Thanks?” Twilight said, for lack of anything better.

“Stay away from her.” Sunset Shimmer said, and narrowed her eyes.

“Or what?” Discord swung his gaze over to Sunset Shimmer, and blinked a few times. “Hold on. You're new.” He snaked out the window, and then popped up in the rear seat, at which point he started counting off on his fingers (adding new digits as needed). “Kindness, Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, and Magic makes it all complete--” Discord teleported in a flash of light to stand beside Sunset's window again. “And seeing as of how you're all too tall for dwarves, and too nice to be samurai, I dare say seven is just one too many. You're dead weight, dear.”

“My name is Sunset Shimmer.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and pushed the door open to point an accusing finger at Discord. “And I'm not going to let you hurt my friends, or this planet!” The other girls piled out of the van to stand resolutely behind their friend, glaring down the chaos god.

“Hurt you?” Discord said, and affected innocence. “Why would I do that? I'm on vacation.”

Sunset Shimmer blinked. “Vacation?”

“Of course! Everyone deserves to travel a bit every now and again! Though I will admit, from what I've seen so far, I'm not terribly impressed. Barely any magic, and your civilization hasn't invented any of the really fun toys yet. I swear, I don't know what Bill sees in dimensions like these.”

“Who's Bill?” Twilight Sparkle's curiosity overrode her fear and confusion.

“Better off you didn't know.” Discord said, frowning. "But as a tip? Never go to Oregon."

“If it's so boring here, why don't you just leave?” Sunset Shimmer said.

“I was just about to, when I happened to see my best friends driving down the road! Or, well, the cross-dimensional incarnations of my best friends.” Discord's voice grew a little flatter, annoyed. “And you.” Discord lashed his tail, impatiently. “Now would you lot stop glaring at me like you're about to do something flashy and rainbow colored and otherwise unpleasant? I've figured out it's a lot easier to just skip that step, honestly. Not that you've got elements of harmony in this world, but, well, I'm sure you'd think of something. You do-gooders are annoyingly resourceful like that.”

“So what do you want?” Sunset said.

“I told you! It's spring break! I'm just here to soak up some sun, see the sights, you know how it is.” Discord lounged back on a hammock that had appeared out of nowhere, somehow dangling in midair despite the lack of a tree on either end. “Nothing banishment worthy, I assure you.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Yes. Well. I admire your paranoia,” said Discord. “Tell you what. I'll make you a deal.”

“I don't like it already.” Sunset growled.

“Oh, please, just because you've got a leather jacket doesn't mean you have to pretend to be so tough. I assure you, I'm not here to muck around with the fabric of reality or any such thing. All I want to do is play tourist, that's all. So! All I ask is for two days. Even if this world doesn't have quite as much excitement as I'm used to, there's still a lot of it I'd like to see. Surely, at least some of you have the kindness--” Discord smiled at Fluttershy, “to appreciate an adventurous--” Discord winked at Rainbow Dash, “and ultimately curious creature such as myself?” He turned his attention to Twilight.

“I dunno.” Applejack said from the rear of the group. “Two days seems like plenty enough time for a feller like him to cause a ruckus.”

“Then I'd better have a chaperone, no?” Discord said. “Which is why I'm inviting the lot of you to come along with me! Tell you what, I'll even keep a low profile!” Discord snapped his fingers again, and disappeared in a flash of light.

The serpentine chimera-monstrosity disappeared, replaced by a tall, white-bearded man in a garish, patchworked suit. Only the mad look in his eye remained unchanged. “Ta-daaaaa.” Discord said as he did jazz hands.

“If I get out of hand, all you have to do is hold hands and click your heels or whatever your saccharine magic requires, and you can blast me back to my home dimension, never to return. Now what do you say, ladies? Two days isn't that long now, is it? We can be friends, or we can antagonize each other. Wouldn't you like to take the easy way?”

“...can we have a minute?” Sunset Shimmer said, and looked back to her friends. “We need to talk.”

“Sure, sure. Take all the time you need.” Discord rummaged a pocketwatch out of his jacket and flicked it open. “I can wait.”

Sunset walked to the back of the van, and waved the other girls into a heads-together huddle.

“What do you think?” said Sunset.

“Plaid and pinstripes?” Rarity murmured. “We were better off with the monster.”

Applejack glared. “That's what you're worried about, Rarity?”

“It's a valid point!” Rarity said. “The clothes make the man, as they say. Or … well, otherdimensional chaos god, in this case.”

“What was he saying earlier about a friendship laser? That sounded kinda cool.” Rainbow Dash said.

“We'll … keep that as a backup plan.” Sunset said. “Twilight, how long do you think it would take to build another magic absorber?”

“I … I don't know.” Twilight said. “I didn't bring any tools with me … I might be able to cobble something together in a few hours, if we weren't out in the middle of nowhere?“

“Maybe we should give him a chance?” Fluttershy murmured. “Technically, he hasn't done anything wrong yet, has he? He just pulled a little prank on us, that's all.”

“It was pretty funny.” Pinkie Pie noted with a giggle.

“I don't like it.” Applejack grumbled. “But I'm afraid we ain't got a choice, unless Sunset or Twilight can do somethin' all glowy.”

Five sets of eyes turned towards Sunset and Twilight. Twilight just blinked, doe-eyed under the scrutiny. Sunset shrugged, and closed her eyes, focusing her will to bring forth a wave of righteous magic … and nothing happened.

“Um.” Twilight said. “What if friendship magic is context dependent? In pretty much every case I've documented, the inherent magic took place … well, when it was needed. It's not like a switch, or even a gun we can just point and shoot.”

“Twilight's right.” Sunset said. “I'm afraid we don't have any other choice. We plan for the worst … but for now, all we can do is keep an eye on him and play damage control. So stay on your toes, girls. Agreed?”

The rest of the crew nodded.

“Okay.” Sunset broke the huddle, and walked back to Discord. She put an extra-confident swagger in her step, “Two days, and then you leave this world?”

“And I'll even refrain from mucking about with the fundemental building blocks of your reality.” Discord laid a hand over his heart.

“Alright. On one condition.” Sunset Shimmer said.

“And what's that?”

“No teleporting. I know what you're capable of, and the last thing we need is to give you two days to zap across the planet, wreaking havoc.”

“Fine, fine. No teleporting, no wreaking, whatever you want.”

Sunset Shimmer mulled it over for a moment, and then finally thrust her hand out. “Deal.”

“Oh! Thank you, thank you!” Discord shook Sunset's hand hard enough to make her teeth chatter. “You won't regret this!”

“I'd better not.”

“Now then!” Discord danced over to the still-open passenger door of the van, and pulled a map out of the glovebox. “Now then. There are only so many options when teleportation is out of the question. Physical travel is so quaint. Where to go, where to go … ah! Here we are!” Discord flipped the map around and pointed. “As luck would have it, Las Pegasus is only a short drive to the northwest! How convenient!”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “And … how exactly are you going to get there?”

“Why, I thought we'd go together!” Discord said, grinning. “Unless you'd rather leave me to my own devices … “

Sunset winced, and headed for the door. “I'll drive.”

“Shotgun!” said Discord, with no small amount of glee.

“Oh come on!” said Rainbow Dash.

Chapter 6

The Las Pegasus Strip loomed up in front of them, a riot of lights, blinding even during the daytime. It looked as if some ambitious criminal had stolen (or at least plagarized) monuments from every corner of the world, lined them with neon, and scattered them throughout the city without any thought to rhyme or reason.

Women wearing great plumes of ostrich feathers (and not much else) strutted up and down the sidewalks, mostly ignored by the other pedestrians. Electric billboards flashed with epilepsy-threatening regularity, announcing shows by a random assortment of entertainers, at least several of whom Sunset had thought dead.

“Discord!” Sunset smacked the sleeping chaos god on the arm. “You said you weren't going to make things weird!”

“Uh. Sunset?” Rainbow Dash leaned forward between the front seats. “I think Las Pegasus always looks like this.”

Discord blinked his eyes to wakefulness, and, once he realized where he was, pressed his nose against the glass of his window. “It's glorious! Even better than I thought it'd be!”

“Great.” Sunset grumbled. “You've seen Las Pegasus. Ready to go home now?”

“Please. We both know this is just a glimpse of the wonders this city has to offer! Now then-” paper crinkled loudly as Discord fumbled with the road map. “Turn here! I know just the place to stay.”

Reluctantly, Sunset Shimmer followed Discord's directions, and they pulled up in front of a gleaming monolith of shining black glass.

“Megaluxe?” Sunset Shimmer read the shimmering LED sign. “... is that even a word?”

“Who cares?” Discord said, smiling. “It's the tallest, shiniest, most exclusive hotel-slash-casino in town! I wouldn't settle for anything less.”

“How are we going to pay for this?” Sunset Shimmer said, wary.

“Just leave everything to me!” Discord patted Sunset on the head. “Now, give me the keys.”

“What?” Sunset clenched her fingers around Fluttershy's teddy-bear keychain.

“Trust me.” Discord said.

“You're kidding.”

“I have an idea. I won't even have to break reality. Promise.”

Against her better judgement, Sunset Shimmer turned off the van, and dropped the keys into Discord's open palm. No sooner had the keychain clinked into his hand, Discord shot an eager look into the back of the van, and the other six girls crammed together therin. “Just follow my lead, ladies! I have a plan.” With that, Discord swept out of the passenger's seat, and strutted towards the lobby doors. He tossed the keys to a bewildered-looking valet, and winked. “Take care of her, my good man!” Discord leaned in, and held a hand to his mouth as he stage-whispered. “Staying on the 'down low.'” Discord made the appropriate air quotes. “You know how it is.” He gave the valet a conspiratorial wink, and breezed into the Megaluxe.

Sunset and the rest followed close on Discord's heels, staying close to each other.

The lobby of the Megaluxe looked like it'd been designed by someone who had gotten their definitions of “luxurious” and “shiny” transposed, perhaps with a bit of “expensive” thrown in for good measure.

The meticulously groomed young man behind the main desk sized up the motley group with a disapproving air. Discord smiled, and gestured for Sunset and company to stand back. He veritably glided up to the desk, and gestured for the receptionist to lean in close.

Sunset and her friends did their best to remain as inconspicuous they could manage while still listening in on Discord's murmured conversation. Sunset edged closer, only to catch the tail end of it.

“Presidential suite?” Discord drummed his fingers on the gilt marble desktop. “What's the step above that?”

More murmuring.

“Imperial suite? Perfect!” Discord exclaimed. “And that'll be seven, sorry eight keycards. Enough for my … entourage.” The concierge passed the keycards over obligingly, and Discord swept over towards Sunset and company. “And that's that!” he said, slinging the keycards out as if he were dealing poker. “Follow me, ladies! Our accommodations await!”

Sunset waited until they made it into the glass-paneled elevator before she spoke.

“You didn't hypnotize him, did you?”

“What? Of course not! You told me, no magic, remember?”

“Then … what did you do?”

“I just talked to him, that's all! I'd hardly be much of an immortal chaos-being if I couldn't talk my way past a simple hotel clerk. I merely introduced myself as one David Ischord, eccentric billionare, that's all. I arrived in a van so as to travel incognito, in the company of my executive assistant, tailor, personal trainer, bodyguard, event coordinator, veterinarian, and … “ Discord's eyes fell to Sunset Shimmer. “Associate.”

“Eccentric billionaire?” Sunset said, deadpan.

“Have you seen how I'm dressed?” Discord spread his hands wide.

“Unfortunately.” Rarity seethed.

Before the inevitable argument over fashion could ensue, the elevator doors opened, revealing the Megaluxe's Imperial Suite.

Spread out across two whole floors of the Megaluxe, the Imperial Suite had more square footage than most of the towns they'd driven through. Two-story tall windows offered a stunning view of Las Pegasus' skyline. Everything else was done up in modernist marble and glass, providing a luxurious (and easily cleaned) environment. No less than two hot tubs and six flatscreen televisions were visible from the elevator alone. Of course, since it was Las Pegasus, most of the décor was unified in a gambling theme, from the portrait-sized playing cards hanging on the walls, to the roulette wheel pattern on the coffee table, to the small stack of complimentary playing chips sitting next to the minibar.

“A bit gauche, but certainly luxurious!” Rarity said.

“Anybody feel like Batman's gonna come in and start punching dudes?” said Rainbow Dash.

Sunset glared at Discord. “We can only hope.”

“Nothing for the best, for the most magical young women in this dimension! And for Sunset Shimmer too, I suppose.” Discord strode into the Imperial suite like he owned the place. Which, technically, he did, if only for the next two days. “Now then! I shall lay claim to the main bedroom, but the rest of the Imperial Suite is yours! Enjoy yourselves to your heart's content, friends! That is, after all, what Las Pegasus is for!” Discord twirled, and ascended the spiral staircase. “Drink! Gamble! Indulge!”

“Um.” Fluttershy said. “Aren't we too young to do all that?”

“Pshaw!” Discord said, and leaned dangerously over the balcony railing. “The good management of the Megaluxe thinks we're rich. You-- er, which is to say, we can do anything you want!”

Sunset Shimmer squinted up at Discord. “And just what do you want to do?”

“Oh, I'll find some way to entertain myself!” Discord said, and disappeared into the main bedroom. “Ooo. Cashews!”

Sunset Shimmer watched the door shut behind him. “Okay girls. Planning time.”

The other six girls clustered in tight, just outside the elevator.

“Here's what we're gonna do. Twilight and I are going to work on some way to handle Discord. Magical, technological, it doesn't matter. The rest of you, take turns keeping an eye on him, to make sure he's not up to anything. Just … try to make it subtle, okay? And try to look like you're having a good time. We don't want to make Discord suspicious.”

Pinkie Pie's clear blue eyes strayed to a conspicuously placed booklet with the words 'ROOM SERVICE' emblazoned on the front. “I don't think that's going to be a problem.”

“Now this, Applejack, is more like it!” Rarity let out a decadent sigh, and leaned back in the bubbling hot tub in the middle of the Imperial Suite's first floor. “Certainly beats splashing around in some fish-infested mountain stream, any day.” The sun had long since set, but the neon lights streaming in through the Imperial Suite's windows lit everything with a stark, somewhat garish light.

“Uh huh.” Applejack sat in a nearby chair, boots propped up on an ottoman as she watched bull-riding on TV.

“Oh please. You needn't play the stoic, darling. I'm sure there's even something here you'll enjoy.” Rarity poked the toes of one foot out of the water and wiggled them. “Mmm. I'd better get out of this tub before I get pruney. Hand me that robe, will you?”

“You sure it's the right kind of robe?” Applejack held the robe out at arm's length and turned her eyes away politely as Rarity climbed out of the water.

“It's the best kind of robe.” Rarity said as she wrapped herself up in the fluffy fabric. “Egyptian cotton. Ooooh!” She pulled the black cotton robe tighter around herself.

“Don't get too comfy, Rarity.” Applejack grumbled. “Sunset says this Discord feller is bad news, n' I'm inclined to believe her.”

“Yes, yes. We've all taken our turns keeping an eye on him. And we've all seen the same thing. All Discord's doing is watching TV. In his underwear.” Rarity shuddered at the thought.

“I swear, don't anybody wear pants 'round here?”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie said as she sauntered by in a feathery showgirl outfit that was mostly headdress.

“Where'd she even get that?” Applejack said.

“I've found it's best not to ask.” Rarity mused.

“I don't like any of this.” Applejack grumbled. “You're in love with a bathrobe, Pinkie Pie's struttin' 'round like a fightin' rooster, n' Fluttershy got herself a baby tiger from them magic fellers with the shiny shirts.”

“She's not a baby, she's a juvenile.” Fluttery said from a couch about half a soccer field away. She petted the fluffy white feline curled up in her lap. “Her name is Samantha.”

“It's all part of our cover, darling! We've got to enjoy ourselves, to make sure Discord doesn't get suspicious.”

“I'm just afraid y'all are enjoyin' yourselves too much.”

“Please, Applejack. You're hardly one to talk. That's the third pay-per-view rodeo you've dialed up tonight.”

“Gal's gotta pass the time somehow.”

“Relax. Between Sunset's occult knowledge, and Twilight's scientific acumen, I'm sure they'll think of something!”

“I've got nothing.” Sunset propped her elbows on the Imperial Suite's kitchen table and held her face in her hands. “We've been here so long, and I can't think of anything to counter Discord. Every spell I've tried just kind of … sputters out.”

“Don't feel bad.” Twilight sat down opposite Sunset Shimmer, cradling a pint of imported Italian gelato in her hands. “I haven't been able to come up with anything, either. I mean, Discord registers on an M-meter, just like you do … but at the same time, as best I can figure, he's not actually doing anything. I've gutted half the electronics in the suite for parts, but I'm still not sure if it's enough. If Discord's as powerful as you say he is, he'll blow through any containment measures I can put together. His entropy factor is just too powerful.”

“You'll think of something.” Sunset forced her head upwards. “I believe in you.”

Twilight bit her lower lip. “When's the last time you slept?”

Sunset's eyes fell to the gelato. “Is that caramel swirl?”

“You didn't answer my question.”

“Fine.” Sunset said, and began rummaging around the kitchen drawers for a spoon. “I'm pretty sure I haven't slept since you did.”

“I've been awake since we left Appeloosa National Park.”

“Exactly.” Sunset Shimmer found a spoon, finally. “I've been awake so long, I'm turning evil again and stealing your gelato. Gimmie.” She grabbed the frozen solid pint-cup and pulled it towards her side of the table.

“Oh no!” Twilight said with a half-mad giggle. She knew she should have been working on magic-containment units, but her brain had shut down beyond a basic 'get ice cream' directive. A directive that was now being threatened.

“Too late. Mine now.” Sunset Shimmer wet her spoon in her mouth, and then gouged out a chunk of gelato, which she ate in short order. Sunset Shimmer's eyes widened as the creamy, sugary concoction melted on her tongue. Garish as the décor might be, the Megaluxe certainly had good taste in ice cream. “Got my germs on it. You can't have any more. Wouldn't be sanitary.”

“Ha!” Twilight said, and pulled the gelato closer to her. “Joke's on you! We kissed that one time, so I've already been exposed to your oral bacteria!” That said, Twilight ate a large, purposeful spoonful of caramel swirl. She savored the taste … and then finally blinked, coming down from her sugar-induced insanity. “That sounded really weird, didn't it?”

“To be fair, this stuff is worth getting weird over.”

“I know, right?”

The gelato didn't last long, but the laughter lingered long after the cardboard cup was empty.

“As nice as this is, we should go to bed.” Sunset registered the faint blush tinting Twilight's cheeks. “Separately, I mean. I, uh, didn't mean it like that. Argh. It's late. Brain not working.”

“I know.” Twilight said, and patted the back of Sunset's hand. “I just want you to know, even if things get, uh, weird, between us, I'm still glad to have you as my friend.”

Sunset smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out.” Twilight left the kitchen. Moments later, a steady snore began to issue from the open door of one of the Imperial Suite's bedrooms. For such a slim girl, Twilight could make a lot of noise.

“Good thing she slept in the van last night.” Sunset said, and indulged in a yawn of her own. She turned to head for her own bedroom- only to bump into Discord- who was still wearing his human form (and, thankfully, a fluffy bathrobe over it).

“Well, if it isn't the other one!” Discord said, smiling.

“What're you doing here?” Sunset glared.

“Oh, that is quite the question, isn't it? As a more advanced and more enlightened sentience, I have the luxury of knowing my place in the grander scheme of things. Which is to say, there is no grander scheme of things, so why not just have a little fun before the eventual heat-death of the universe? I've seen it, you know. Terribly dull.”

“I meant what are you doing here.”

“In the kitchen? Why, I ran out of cashews.” Discord started opening up cabinets and cupboards, tossing foodstuffs and cooking utensils carelessly over his shoulder as he sought out his new favorite snack.

“You can't fool me.” Sunset growled. “I know you're planning something.”

“Planning?” Discord laughed hard enough to make tears well at the corners of his eyes. “You think I have a plan? My dear, I am the very embodiment of chaos, madness, and entropy! I don't plan. I just … do. Twilight Sparkle would've known better.” Discord paused, and held up a finger. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, that is. The one who's better than you.”

“How did you--”

“Please.” Discord rolled his eyes. “You've got that in-betweeny smell of all dimensional travelers. I bet you knew you couldn't keep up with the real Elements of Harmony, so you decided to set up shop in a lesser dimension.”

“That's not true.” Sunset said.

“No? Then tell me, why would one of one of Celestia's most promising students-- a fallen one, but those are the best kind –spend the rest of her life in a boring, out of the way dimension, where she's been reduced to a child? Oh no. You don't like thumbs that much. I can tell. You'd rather be a big fish in a small pond. Or really, given the air of mediocrity hanging around you, a medium fish in a miniscule pond.”

“Stop it.”

“Hit a nerve, did I?” Discord crooned. He finally found a jar of cashews and twisted off the top, letting it clatter to the floor. “I haven't even gotten to the best part! As I imagine it's quite flattering to have the cross-dimensional-doppleganger of the pony who defeated you trailing after you like a lovesick puppy.”

“She's not—”

“Why, if you take off the glasses, you'd never know the difference!”

“Shut. Up.”

“I bet she'd even call you Princess if you asked. Or is it the other way around?”

There was no glowing, no sparkling, no magic whatsoever when Sunset Shimmer punched a chaos god in the face. It was a wild, rage-driven blow, at an honestly awkward angle.

It was enough.

Discord slammed into the cupboards. He dropped his plastic jar of cashews, scattering nuts in all directions. He blinked a few times in shock, and then stood up, looming far taller than Sunset Shimmer. “You hit me.” He said, mildly bewildered. He dabbed at his lip, and marveled at the smear of red on his fingertips. “You made me bleed. Quite a novel sensation, actually. I'm half inclined to thank you.”

“Don't.”

“Please. No need for posturing.” Discord waved a hand airily, and smiled. “We both know I could render you into your component atoms just. Like. That.” He snapped his bloody fingers, and the loud sound made Sunset flinch.

“But I won't!” Discord said, gleefully. “Because, just like I told you. I'm reformed now. Plus, it's quite entertaining to watch you flail about. Not to mention I've promised to refrain from using my magic.” Discord scooped up the fallen jar of cashews, which was still about a third full. “Something to keep in mind, hm?” He rattled the nuts in the jar, and then spun around, heading back towards his upstairs bedroom. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I've TV to watch.”

Discord cackled, as was his nature.

Sunset Shimmer waited until his door closed before she let herself cry.

Chapter 7

The morning sun was just streaming through the east wall of the Imperial Suite when Discord woke up.

“Ladies!” Discord swept out of his bedroom, clad once again in his mis-matched suit. “May I have your attention, please!”

Wary, the seven girls trailed out of their own bedrooms, looking up at Discord as he leaned against the balcony railing.

“I'd like to thank you all for making this such a memorable vacation! Honestly, I was afraid this entire dimension was going to be dull, until I had the good fortune to come across you lovely ladies. But this has been one of the most entertaining vacations I've ever had!”

Applejack crossed her arms over her chest. “You're welcome?”

Pinkie Pie scratched the side of her head, puzzled. “Buuuuuuut, all you did was sit in your room and watch TV.”

“So I did! And it was spectacular.” Discord clasped his hands together, eyes going dreamy. “Television! Glorious television!” Discord said, rapturous. “Such a wonderful invention! Six thousand, three hundred and twenty eight channels in ultra-high definition across a hundred and fifty inch screen! And it's all so wonderfully random and nonsensical! ” He clutched at his sides, unable to contain his laughter. “You should have seen it! There was this one show where a man got hit with a football. In the groin!”

“Man.” Rainbow Dash said. “Guess TV really does rot your brain.”

“You know,” Twilight said, “if all you wanted to do was watch TV, you probably didn't need all of this … “

“Ah, but where's the fun in that?” Discord said. “Besides, that wouldn't leave much for you to do! Not to mention the sight of such a snappily dressed man such as myself, in the company of a bevvy of young ladies, such as yourselves, might bring to mind certain unwelcome implications, especially in the cheaper, seedier establishments.”

“Mmmh. I suppose he has a point.”

“Of course, it wasn't just the television that was entertaining.” Discord leaned his butt against the bannister and slid effortlessly down from the balcony level. “Seeing the lot of you scurry around and plan was entirely too fun. How's the work coming on that magic compact of yours, Twilight?”

Twilight blinked. “I, er, don't know what you're talking about.” She lied, badly.

“Don't worry! It wouldn't have worked anyway. I've learned to be a little more careful with my ambient magical energy ever since a icky incident with a certain centaur. You at least made more progress than Number Seven over here.” Discord hopped off the stairwell, and smiled at Sunset Shimmer. “Best she could do was punch me.”

“Way to go Sunset!” Rainbow Dash bounced on the balls of her feet. “Can I punch him next?”

Sunset Shimmer grit her teeth. “Are you done, Discord?”

“Mmmh. As fun as it is watching you squirm, yes.” Discord said. “But … I have to gloat just a little bit. Because I've realized that sometimes the greatest trick … is no trick at all! I've not used a lick of magic since we got in that van to come here to begin with, just as promised. And again, just as promised, I shall be making my departure, to leave you in peace.” Discord sniggered.

Sunset Shimmer frowned. Harder. “What's so funny?”

“Oh! Well. I suppose it's only polite to fill you in before I leave. You see, since I was forbidden the use of my magic, I was unable to fabricate a credit card or a bank account or even a big sack of money with a dollar sign on it. Which wasn't a problem when I was checking in, but I imagine the proprietors of this fine establishment will expect some form of compensation right about … “

The elevator bell let out a soft 'ding,' announcing an impending arrival.

“Now.” Discord cackled, as was his nature.

Discord snapped his fingers, and in a flash, returned to his mismatched animal form. “It's been a pleasure, my dears! But for now, I must bid you a sweet adieu.” He bowed deeply.

Another snap of his fingers, and the mad trickster was gone.

“That snake!” Applejack swore.

“Um. Technically, he's only part snake. And part goat. And part horse. And part lion. And part bird. And … um, I kind of lost count after that.” Fluttershy said.

Sunset Shimmer balled her hands into trembling fists. “This is my fault. I should have seen something like this coming. I--”

“Shhh.” Twilight draped an arm around Sunset's shoulders. “He tricked all of us. Now we just have to--”

The elevator doors slid open, and a skinny man with an air of a weasel (and not one of the cute ones Fluttershy took care of from time to time) stepped out. Two far larger (and less weasely) men stepped out, their shoulders so broad they had to exit the elevator one at a time. All three wore impeccably tailored suits and the kind of leather flats that typically cost more than a used convertible.

Apiece.

“Good morning.” The weasely little man said, smiling. “I'm here to see Mr. Ischord?”

The girls shared a panicked look amongst themselves. Twilight was the first one to speak.

“He's … unavailable right now. But I'm his, er, Executive Assistant. Yes. That's who I am.” She gave a nervous laugh.

“Ah yes, Miss Twilight Sparkle, I believe? Mr. Ischord mentioned you.” The thin man nodded. “Would you happen to know when he would be available?”

“I'm not … sure. It might be awhile. Mister Ischord is ... Sick. Yes. Very sick.”

“Totally!” Pinkie Pie chimed in. “He ate some bad sushi, and now he's stuck in the bathroom going bleeeeeeeeagh and barfing all over the place and it's really really gross! You don't wanna go in there. Nope.”

The thin man considered Pinkie's words, and nodded. “I understand. Please, inform your employer that we here at the Megaluxe wish him a speedy recovery. And, as per his instructions, we have tabulated his bill.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a crisp white envelope, which he handed to Twilight Sparkle. “We'll expect the payment tonight, as per Mr. Ischord's instructions.”

Twilight Sparkle stared at the envelope.

“You're all welcome to stay longer, of course. But, I just thought I would stop by to remind Mr. Ischord … and his entourage, that we here at the Megaluxe are absolutely devoted to your comfort and entertainment. Of course, I am also obligated by company policy to remind you--- and, by extension, Mr. Ischord, that the Megaluxe will use any and all means at its disposal in order to collect what is owed when the time comes.”

Throughout the whole exchange, the two big men behind the weasely one hadn't said a word. They didn't need to.

“Have a nice day, ladies.” The man said. He snapped his fingers, and his goons began the process of stepping back into the elevator, one after another. The weasel-faced man followed. The elevator doors slid shut.

“Okay.” Twilight said, voice shaking. “It's not so bad. We've just rented out the top two floors of the most expensive hotel casino in Las Pegasus.” She laughed a little, and opened up the envelope. “Okay, wow. That's a lot of zeroes.”

“I hate to say it, but what iffin' we just run?” Applejack said as she peered over Twilight's shoulder. “I mean, we ain't the ones who rented the place. Was Discord. Let 'em go after him!”

“We couldn't!” Rarity said. “Didn't you see their shoes?”

“Rarity, this ain't the time to play fashion police.”

“Just listen to me for once!” Rarity huffed. “They were wearing imported Italian loafers.”

This just got her blank stares.

“Italian” Rarity said. “You know … like the mafia? Those men were professional criminals, I assure you!”

Twilight furrowed her brow. “That's just a stereotype. Las Pegasus isn't really ruled by organized crime. Not anymore.”

“Stereotype or no, the man brought goons with him.” Rarity said. “Goons! Or did you not notice the two remarkably gorilla-like men he brought with him, just to deliver a letter?”

“Hey! That's being mean to gorillas.” Fluttershy said. “Actual gorillas are very shy and gentle.”

“I could totally beat them up.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy spun around on the blue girl. “If I ever hear you beat up a gorilla, I'd never forgive you!”

“I meant the goons. Not actual gorillas.”

“Oh, I guess that'd be okay.”

“Regardless,” Rarity said, “I don't think the man will be very amenable to whatever excuses we might concoct. That's a man who wants his money.”

“So we just get money, duh!” Pinkie Pie said, smling, “we could have, like, a bake sale!”

Twilight showed the bill to Pinkie Pie, and the pink girl deflated with an audible balloon sound. “A really, really big bake sale?”

“Oh, I know!” Rainbow Dash said, “what if we enter into a battle of the bands? Or a skateboarding competition? Or a dance contest? Or a MMA tournament? There's got to be some way a bunch of super awesome girls like us can make a ton of money real fast, right?”

“That's not a half bad idea.” Twilight stroked at her chin. “We'd just need to find something that we could enter at the last minute. Something we'd all be good at. Any ideas, Sunset?” Twilight looked around for a moment. “Where'd she go?”

“Oh! Hiding!” Pinkie Pie said. “That's an idea! We could just go 'poof' and ninja vanish and then we wouldn't have to pay because they couldn't find us!”

“That ain't a plan.” Applejack grumbled.

“Hey, hear her out. Ninjas are cool,” said Rainbow Dash.

As the others began to argue over the feasibility (or lack therof) of ninja based plans, Twilight slipped away to find Sunset. She didn't have to look for very long, which perhaps put a nail in the coffin of Rainbow Dash's ninja-based plans. Sunset Shimmer laid on one of the suite's many couches, staring up at the ceiling in a shell-shocked daze.

“Uh.” Twilight bit at her lower lip. “Sunset? I … we could really use your help right now.”

“There's nothing I can do.”

“That's not true! There's got to be something! I … oh! Do you have that book? Could you write a letter to the other Twilight Sparkle for help?”

“Assuming she writes back in time. Besides, Princess Twilight knows all about friendship and magic … but I really doubt she has any experience getting out of hotel bills. I mean, do you?”

“Well, no.” Twilight admitted, only to snap her fingers as an epiphany hit her. “But Princess Twilight is … a Princess! Surely she'd be able to, um … let us borrow some gold or gems or something so we could take care of all this? Didn't you say gemstones are far more common in Equestria than on our own planet? Which, now that I think of it, makes me wonder about the geological makeup of your dimension--” Twilight shook her head before she lapsed further into academic discourse. “It should be easy!”

“Except.” Sunset said, “Twilight's portal will place her in Canterlot High, nearly a thousand miles away. How's she going to get here in time with no car?”

“Oh.” Twilight's expression fell. “That's a good point.”

“Here's what's going to happen.” Sunset said, eyes still locked on the ceiling. “There's no way we can pay that bill we've racked up. And since the valet service has the keys to Fluttershy's van, we can't just make a break for it. And even if we did, it's not like we'd get very far in that old thing before the cops or the mobsters or whoever catch up with us.”

“I came to the same conclusion.” Twilight said.

“Now, depending on how charitable they're feeling, they either prosecute us … which probably won't stick, since we're minors. Or, they think we're victims of “David Ischord” and turn us over to child protection services. Either way, they're going to call everyone's parents, and the lot of you guys are going to be grounded forever.”

“Which is what we're trying to avoid.”

“Here's the thing, Twilight. I don't have any parents. Not here, anyway. Not in this dimension. I forged enough of a paper trail to justify my existence, but the moment there's a criminal investigation … I doubt it'll hold up. So without any family, I'm either going to jail, or a foster home.”

“They couldn't!” Twilight said, horrified.

“You're right.” Sunset Shimmer mused, voice distant. “I'll break out of whatever jail they throw me in, or run away from the orphanage, and then … well, I'll just be gone.”

“Gone? No!” Twilight said, panicky. “You can't just leave! You could stay with me-- I mean, uh, you could stay with us. We've all got couch space for you to crash on, or we could put you in the loft of Applejack's barn, or maybe we could ask Principal Celestia to let you sleep at the school, and then--"

“No.” Sunset Shimmer closed her eyes.

“No?” Twilight blinked. “What do you mean, no?”

“You'll be better off without me. Everything that's happened on this trip is my fault.”

“No it--”

Sunset Shimmer sat up. “I'm the one who got us organized to go on this trip in the first place, and I'm the one who agreed to make a deal with Discord, even though I was the only one who knew what he's capable of.” Sunset Shimmer flopped back against the couch and stared listlessly up at the ceiling. “Whatever I do, I'll just make it worse.”

“Don't be so hard on yourself, Sunset. We all agreed to go on this trip, and we all agreed to deal with Discord. So we all made mistakes. What's important is figuring out a way to make things right.”

“You're smart, Twilight. You'll think of something?”

“Me?” Twilight blurted.

“Yes, you. This is where you belong. Well, uh, not Las Pegasus, but with your friends. I'm just a third wheel. Seventh wheel. Whatever.”

“But they were your friends before they were my friends.”

“I was just filling in 'til you showed up.” Sunset said.

“That doesn't make any sense!”

“That's magic for you.”

Twilight Sparkle grit her teeth. “I refuse to take that as an answer. Your Twilight-- Princess Twilight might be a magical unicorn, but I'm not. I'm a scientist. And I refuse to fall victim to any kind of wishy-washy superstition about 'destiny,' about who's supposed to be friends with who, just because of some vaguely worded prophecy from another dimension!” Twilight Sparkle stamped her foot and then grabbed hold of Sunset's arms, hauling her off the couch and onto her feet with a strength that surprised the both of them. “Now you're going to come over here and talk to your friends until we figure out a way to get out of this!”

She marched Sunset back to where their other friends had sat around a coffee table, bickering over what course of action to take. They all shut up as they saw Sunset and Twilight approach, and looked on the pair with hopeful, eager eyes. Except for Pinkie Pie, who had grabbed a crystal tumbler and a stack of complimentary poker chips to assemble the world's most expensive game of tiddlywinks.

“Okay!” Rainbow Dash said, and rubbed her hands together eagerly. “What's the play?”

“We're … uh, working on that.” Twilight said, and nudged Sunset Shimmer.

“I have one idea.” Sunset Shimmer said.

“You do?” Twilight blurted.

“Sure.” Sunset shrugged. “You guys can sneak out, get to a gas station, and catch the next bus out of town. Then tell everyone that Fluttershy's van got stolen when you get home.”

“There's a lotta you in that plan, n' not enough we.” Applejack said.

“That's because I'm staying here.”

“What?” The six others said in unison.

“It's simple. I stay here and take the fall. I'll confess to everything, and then you guys can get back to your normal lives back home.”

“Gasp!” Rarity said the full word. “That is an awful plan!”

“Yeah! Nobody gets left behind!” Rainbow Dash said. “If you go to jail, we'll all go to jail! Somebody's gonna have to watch your back to make sure you don't get shanked!”

“Shanked?” Fluttershy said, as terrified as one could expect.

“Yeah, shanked.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “It's when somebody sharpens the end of their toothbrush into a stabby thing, and they stick it right in your--”

Applejack elbowed Rainbow Dash in the side. “Not. Helping.”

“Any plan that ends with someone shanked is a pretty bad plan.” Pinkie Pie said, and clipped one of the poker chips into a little arc, where it landed in the whiskey glass with a faint ping.

“Pinkie.” Rarity said, “do you have to do that?”

“Sure!” Pinkie said, not taking her eyes from table-level as she lined up her next shot. “I've never been in a hotel that gives you a tiddlywinks kit before!”

“Those are for gambling dear.” Rarity said.

“Gambling?” Pinkie Pie looked up. “Really?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Haven't you been paying attention to anything since we got here?”

“Sure I have! There were flashy showgirls and yummy food from the room service and a whole lot of shiny things! When you've got all that, who needs to gamble?”

“Wait a tic.” Applejack said, and picked a chip out of Pinkie's cup. “How many of these we got? I've played a hand or two of poker before.”

Sunset Shimmer shook her head. “You'd burn through those chips before you even knew it, Applejack. The whole point is just to get someone started, so then they'll start spending their own money afterward. The odds are stacked against you. The house always wins.”

“Wait.” Twilight Sparkle said. “Say that again.”

“The house always wins?” Sunset scratched at her head.

“That's it!” Twilight Sparkle said with the gleam of inspiration in her eyes. “The house always wins!”

“What are you talking about?” Sunset said.

“Paper! I need paper!” Twilight Sparkle said, and ransacked an end table until she found the ubiquitous hotel stationery. She pulled a pen out of her pocket and began to scribble out rough equations and diagrams, cramming as many as possible onto the page. “I think … yes … I can do this.” She nodded, and looked up at her bewildered friends.

“You're not going to try counting cards, are you?” Sunset Shimmer said. “I'm sure you're smart enough for it, but the casinos know what to look out for … “

“No, I'm thinking something bigger. Something better!” Twilight tore off the page of formulae, and then scrawled out a hasty list of items on the next. “Alright. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, I need you two to go down to the hotel gift shop, and get these items. Only these items. We've got enough candy and fluffy animals in the suite already.”

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie nodded, their enthusiasm for a plan overriding whatever disappointment they might have shown otherwise.

“Applejack, Rainbow Dash, you two are on recon duty. Scope out the gambling floor, see if you can make a map. Keep a low profile.”

“Got it!” Rainbow Dash snapped off a sloppy salute. “Super commando mission it is!”

“Commando?” Pinkie Pie blurted, “Does that mean you're not wearing--”

“Not now, Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight ignored the outburst, and focused on Rarity, next. “How long would it take you to put together seven cocktail dresses?”

Rarity's eyes lit up. “With just what I can find around the suite?” Rarity's scissors appeared in her fingers with the sort of speed that would give a gunslinger pause. “You should try thinking of something harder next time.”

“Perfect.” Twilight said, and stood up. “Now, let's get to work! Time is of the essence!”

The girls all nodded, and set out on their assigned tasks, trusting Twilight's judgment.

“Uh.” Sunset said, “what about me?”

“You're going to help me, of course!” Twilight said, smiling. “That is, if you don't think this is all going to be nothing but a futile gesture doomed to failure. I'm not a fan of pessimsim.”

“You're really sure this can work?”

“No. But we've got to try, don't we?”

As she looked into Twilight's eyes, Sunset Shimmer felt herself smile for the first time in hours. “I guess you're right.”

Chapter 8

“Hold still, Applejack!” Rarity said as she made a few last minute alterations.

“Maybe I'd stay still iffin' you'd stop pokin' me.” Applejack grumbled. They stood in a corner of the Imperial Suite's main lobby that Rarity had turned into an improvised seamstress' workshop.

“I'd stop 'poking' you iffin'--” Rarity caught herself, and shook her head. “If you'd stay still!” Rarity's deft fingers made a few quick, final stitches, and then stood up. “There! Done. Finally.”

Applejack looked down at herself, and let out a low whistle. Admittedly, the neckline was a little low, and the skirt was a little high for her tastes, but she had to admit, the little red dress was impressive.

“Well, shoot, Rarity. You'd never think this was a bedsheet.” Applejack mused as she ran her fingers over the silken fabric.

“A bedsheet and a set of curtains. The black trim brings it all together, you know.”

“I'm impressed.”

“Thank you, thank you.” Rarity said. “To be honest, I wouldn't say it's my best work, but I dare say given time and materials, or, rather, the lack thereof, it's quite the achievement, isn't it?”

“One thing, though.” Applejack said.

Rarity blinked. “Yes?”

“Where's yours?”

Rarity paused, and then did a quick count on her fingers-- and then the terrible realization hit her. “Gasp!” She said the full word, and then set off like a bolt. “I'm going to need more bedsheets!”

Rarity scrambled up the stairs, passing Fluttershy, who was on her way down. The pink-haired young woman ducked out of Rarity's way, clutching a vacuum cleaner to her chest.

“Sorry!” Rarity said in passing. “Fashion emergency!”

“Oh. Um. Okay.” Fluttershy murmured, and crept cautiously down the rest of the spiral stairwell.

“Uh. Fluttershy?” Applejack said. “Y'know they'll send somebody to clean up once we're gone, right? Ya don't need to clean anythin'.”

“I know. I mean, I don't like being messy. But Twilight asked me to vacuum Discord's room. She said it was--”

“The next step in the process!” Twilight seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and neatly relieved Fluttershy of the vacuum cleaner. “It's all quite simple, really. In theory. On paper. The application, on the other hand … that's the tricky part! Everyone, follow me!”

With the speed of the inspired, Twilight swept back into the kitchen, which she had converted into an impromptu laboratory. Champagne flutes had been re-purposed into test tubes, scented candles into heating elements, and a digital clock into a primitive oscilloscope. There were no crackling Tesla coils nearby, but Twilight had at least put on the lab coat she'd stuffed at the bottom of her suitcase.

“Is everyone here?” Twilight said, glancing around at her bewildered looking friends.

“Yep!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing on her heels.

“Except Rarity.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I'm here! I'm here!” Rarity rounded up the last of the group, having squeezed herself into a half-assembled dress that had once been a bathrobe. She skidded to a halt as she got an eyeful of the gear on the kitchen table.

“Great!” Twilight said, and heaved the vacuum cleaner up onto the table. She unhooked the dirt canister and carefully poured the contents into what had once been a coffeemaker. It sputtered and sparked as it processed the materials, and Twilight giggled cutely. That is, if you considered mild insanity as a form of cuteness (as some do).

“Now! Before, I'd been working on modifying that magic-containment compact I first used on you guys--- sorry about that, by the way –to absorb Discord's magic so he couldn't hurt anyone. Unfortunately, I couldn't finish it in time.”

“So this is what's left over?” Rainbow Dash poked the coffeemaker monstrosity, which zapped her with a tiny bolt of electricity for her trouble. “Ow!”

“Sort of! Kind of! Not really!” Twilight squinted at the coffeemaker-contraption, and finally picked up the coffeepot itself, which was now filled with a small amount of some eerie green fluid. “My earlier devices were designed to absorb active magic … it's taken a little bit of doing, but I've managed to adjust the process to absorb ambient magic. And as much as Discord said he was playing nice, he still was maintaining his human disguise, which means that he was radiating entropic particles at a frankly alarming rate. But! Lucky for us, it's theoretically possible to collect these entropic particles and distill them for a better use!”

“Uh. Anybody else get that?” Applejack said.

“Just let her talk.” Rarity said, even as she sewed up the hem of her own dress. “Asking questions just makes the whole process last longer.”

“So!” Twilight said. “While we don't have nearly enough chaos-energy to pull the kind of stunts Discord did- what, with the teleporting and dimensional breaching and general mucking about with the fabric of reality and stuff. But! If my calculations are correct, it's theoretically possible to apply these entropic energies to a straightforward inversion of natural probability!”

“Do what now?” said Applejack.

“What did I tell you about asking questions?” Rarity hissed.

Twilight laid out seven thin chain necklaces, each with a heart-shaped locket. Carefully, she poured a drop of the growing green liquid from the coffeepot into each locket, and closed them. A strange, electric feel filled the air, but Twilight gave it no heed as she got to work. “If I had more time, I would have personalized the jewelry for each of you, but I figure everybody likes hearts, right?”

“You spent all this time …. making jewelry?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Not just jewelry! This is magic. Well, applied magic. Slight difference. The important part is, when you're wearing these, it'll create a faint but distinct aura of chaos energy around you.”

“Is that safe?” Fluttershy said.

“Perfectly! There won't be any quantum distortions or dimensional tears or anything hazardous-- we don't have enough energy for that. Instead, the chaotic aura will manifest along the path of least resistance: statistical probability.” Twilight draped one of the lockets around her neck, and then held up a pair of dice Pinkie had gotten from the hotel's gift store. “Watch.”

She rolled the dice on the table, and the cubes came up with a four on one and a three on the other.

“I don't get it.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I'm not done.” Twilight scooped up the dice, and rolled again, for the same result.

And again.

And again.

By the fourth seven, Rainbow Dash's mouth was hanging open. “Okay, so, that's just weird.”

“That's applied magic for you.” Twilight said, and handed out the rest of the necklaces, along with the divvied up complementary gaming chips. “Now, we need to hurry, because the effect will wear off in a few hours. So stay together, make smart bets, and make that time count.” Twilight unbuttoned her labcoat to reveal the deep purple evening gown beneath. “Because tonight, the house always loses.”

The plan worked brilliantly.

For about twenty minutes.

Split up into two pairs and a trio, the girls spread out over the casino floor, placing small bets here and there. It didn't take long before the cries of victory began to spread throughout the playing floor, passed from table to table like a contagion.

“Blackjack!”

“Full house!”

“Jackpot!”

“Royal flush!”

“Bingo!”

(The Megaluxe liked to cater to the senior citizen demographic).

“Seventeen, black!”

Twilight Sparkle's eyes gleamed as the roulette crouper pushed a toweringly large stack of chips her way. “This is perfect!” Twilight said, raking the tokens to her.

“Yeah.” Sunset Shimmer laid a hand on Twilight's arm. “A little too perfect.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look.”

By design, a casino is a chaotic place, intended to dazzle and distract its patrons into giving away their money. But when the money began to flow, nearly universally, in the other direction, pandemonium ensued. Gamblers muscled and pushed at each other to get in on the 'hot' tables or slot machines, while increasingly worried card dealers attempted to smile through it all and keep things under control.

With each passing minute, someone else won, and won big, which only contributed to the rapidly building hysteria as more and more gamblers streamed in, each wanting to grab as much money as they could, while they could.

Twilight Sparkle paled. “...so maybe the lockets have a larger area of effect than I thought.”

“We should cash out.” Sunset tugged gently at Twilight's arm.

“But we haven't won enough yet!” Twilight Sparkle said.

“We've got bigger problems than that. Time to get the others and--”

“And what, ladies?”

The weasel-faced casino manager materialized behind them, along with his two impeccably dressed goons. He kept thesame tight smile on his face, but the sweat rapidly beading on his forehead betrayed his mood.

Twilight froze, clutching a tray of chips to her chest. Sunset stepped in front of her, reflexively.

“Please,” the weaselly man said, “why don't we continue this conversation someplace a little quieter?”

The walls of the 'interview room' were possibly the only bare brick in all of the Megaluxe, if not in all of Las Pegasus. After spending so much time in the Imperial Suite, it seemed almost odd to Twilight to see a surface that wasn't polished to a mirror sheen. The steel folding chairs might've been the only only ones in the whole hotel as well, barring the occasional professional wrestling event.

Twilight and Sunset were the last ones to be rounded up, 'guided' into the bare room by the well dressed security staff. The rest of their friends sat around the edges of the room, with expressions ranging from sheer, shocked terror (Fluttershy) to righteous indignation (Rainbow Dash).

“Y'all alright?” Applejack stood as Sunset and Twilight stepped through the door.

“I've been better?” Twilight jumped a little as the heavy steel door closed behind her.

“You guys didn't talk, did you?” Sunset said.

“Don't worry! I didn't tell them anything!” Rainbow Dash said.

“They didn't ask you anything.” Fluttershy murmured.

“Details!” Rainbow Dash said. “The important thing is, now that we're altogether, we can totally bum rush the security guys next time they open the door! I'll take the one on the left, and the rest of you can take the guy on the right.”

“Let's keep that as 'plan B.'” Sunset Shimmer said. She paused for a moment. “Or, well. C. Or D, or … you get the idea.”

“That means you've got a plan A, right?” Fluttershy murmured.

“Not exactly,” Sunset Shimmer said, “but I'm working on it. Just, everyone … relax, and we'll figure this out.”

“I'm sorry.” Twilight said. “This is all my fault. I should've thought this through. I—”

“Hey.” Sunset Shimmer didn't let her finish. “That's my line.”

Twilight stared at Sunset for a moment, and then broke into giddy, nervous laughter. “We are in so much trouble, and that's what came to mind? Things must be looking up if you can make jokes, right?”

“Actually.” Sunset Shimmer shrugged, and then slumped back in her steel chair. “We are so absolutely screwed that I can't even comprehend it anymore.”

“At least the world's not going to magically explode anymore, right?” Pinkie Pie said.

“Unfortunately.” Sunset Shimmer mused. “We would've known how to fix that.”

The single door into the brick room opened. Rainbow Dash started to get to her feet, but a swift elbow from Applejack stopped the soccer player from launching herself at the goons.

The weaselly little man stepped through, again trailed by his ubiquitous, silent associates. He looked at the septet of girls for a long, long moment, and pulled in a deep breath. Despite the coolness of the brick basement room, his forehead was still dotted with sweat.

“Okay, ladies. Who wants to talk first?”

“Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me! Me!” Pinkie Pie raised a hand. “My name's Pinkie Pie and these are my best friends and we've saved the world a couple of times because we're such good friends and then we were afraid we had to save the world again so we went on a road trip and then I ate some gas station sushi and then I barfed all over the place so we stopped and went camping and felt better and then I went skinny dipping and then we met this magical chaos god named Discord who's really a dragon goat bird-thingie but then he made himself human and we all went to Las Pegasus and then he racked up a big bill and went 'poof' back to his home dimension! Oh, and his dimension is just like ours, only everyone over there is a magical pony.”

The casino manager held up a hand as Pinkie Pie stopped for breath.

“Right. You're all on drugs.”

“Hey! I'm not--”

“Quiet.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie said thoughtfully, “I'm pretty loud, actually! But I'm not on--”

The manager loomed over the pink haired girl, and hissed. “Shut. Up.”

Pinkie Pie cringed backwards, and pulled her legs up against her chest. “Okay.”

“Now.” The manager straightened up, and smoothed out a few wrinkles in his suit. “I get it. This Ischord guy hires you on, gets you jacked up on junk, and then has you run interference for his con. Did he really think we wouldn't notice every slot machine on the floor going haywire at once? No, I'm smarter than that.” He pulled a silk handkerchief from his pocket and began to dab at his forehead. “I've got eyes on the vault, too, so I know he won't be able to hit that, either. The whole thing's falling apart. Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. All you ladies have to do is ID the rest of your gang, and we might just not press charges. You.” He pointed at a trembling Fluttershy. “Talk.”

“I. Uh. I'm not very good at talking.”

“Now's the time to practice.”

“I. Uhm. Okay? What do you want to talk about?”

“The gang!”

“What gang?”

“Don't play stupid with me!”

“I'm not playing!” Fluttershy blurted.

“Listen here, you--” the weaselly little man reached for Fluttershy, and then a lot of things happened at once.

“Keep your hands offa Fluttershy, ya big bully!” Rainbow Dash launched herself at the casino manager with surprising speed, tackling him into the brick wall.

In turn, the casino goons went after Rainbow Dash.

In turn, Applejack went in swinging with her folding chair.

In turn, even more, seemingly identical goons piled in, and before long each of the girls found themselves held up with a massive security staffer on either arm. The casino manager swore in fluent Italian, and once again dabbed at his forehead, though this time to wipe off blood rather than sweat. “That's it! Lucco, call the cops!” he spat, and one of the be-suited men nodded.

Sunset Shimmer began to laugh.

''What're you laughing at?” The casino manager sneered.

“Go ahead.” Sunset Shimmer said. “Call the cops. I'd love to talk to them. Think you could get the press, too? Unless our little stunt already got their attention … “

“What're you talking about?”

Sunset Shimmer smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. “You got it all wrong. Ischord wasn't using us. We were using him.”

“Sunset?” Twilight sputtered. “What're you--”

“Shut up.” Sunset hissed at Twilight, and looked back to the casino manager, who now had the air of a bewildered, bleeding weasel. “Ischord was just some hobo we picked up on the way here. We cleaned him up, slapped him in a suit Rarity made--”

“I did not make that … that monstrosity!” Rarity shuddered.

“We're made, Rarity. No sense denying it.” Sunset turned her attention back to the casino manager. “Once we cleaned him up, we used that hobo as a cover so we could get into the joint.”

“Save the confession for the cops.”

“Oh, I will.” Sunset Shimmer laughed again, in a tone that usually came right before the part where Sunset Shimmer grew wings and started lighting things on fire.

“It must be the entropic energy.” Twilight said, horrified. “It must have infected her, somehow.”

“What're you laughing at?” the casino manager demanded.

“You really don't get it, do you? You cart us out of here, give us to the cops, and you've got to explain to your bosses how you got conned by a bunch of high school girls.”

“But I caught you.”

“Only after we racked up a hell of a room service bill, and nearly ruined your casino floor. That stuff, I know you can write off. But reputation? Well … it's not like they make reputation insurance.”

“What're you--”

“I can see the headlines now. Spring Break Beauties Break Bank! Or … well, something like that. I don't work on the school newspaper. How long do you think the Megaluxe is going to stay in business once it becomes the laughingstock of all Las Pegasus?”

“Er.”

“I mean, getting conned is bad enough, but getting conned by a bunch of underage girls who shouldn't have been in your casino in the first place? That's the sort of thing that sticks with you. Might even start attracting attention from certain governmental agencies who want to make sure everything's on the up and up. Which, I'm sure wouldn't be any trouble for you.” Sunset said, sarcastic.

“That's my problem.”

“That's a big problem. One that you don't have to worry about, if you don't want to.”

“I'm listening.”

Sunset Shimmer cleared her throat delicately. The casino manager waved his hand, and the goons on either side of her let go. She smiled, and then settled back into her chair and crossed her legs demurely.

“Here's the thing. We don't care about the money. We're teenagers. We were just in it for the rush.”

“And?”

“If you give us to the cops, you're kiiiiind of giving us what we want. Attention. Which won't be the kind of attention you want. But,” Sunset Shimmer held up a finger, “as much as I like the spotlight, getting thrown in jail doesn't sound too fun. Not to mention it wouldn't do you any good, since we're all juveniles. We'd be out of the system in a few months. But, without an official police report or a paper trail … well, this would just go down as just another 'What happens in Las Pegasus' story. A harmless rumor.”

“Let me get this straight. You want me to let you go.”

Sunset Shimmer idly toyed with a lock of her red hair. “No, you want to let us go. You just haven't realized it yet. Unless you'd prefer to be known for the rest of your life as the guy who couldn't handle a couple of girls on spring break?” She arched one brow.

The casino manager shut his eyes, as if already trying to dispel Sunset Shimmer and her friends from his memory. “You will never, ever step foot in the Megaluxe again.”

“I thought that went without saying.” Sunset Shimmer smiled.

“Lucco, get their keys.”

In a testament to the Megaluxe's staff, the girls' bags were waiting for them by the time the valet pulled Fluttershy's battered minivan up to the curb. Sunset Shimmer hadn't spoken since they were lead out of the casino's basement, and she glared murderously at any of her friends if they tried to.

Sunset Shimmer held her hand out expectantly, and the valet hurried to press the keys into her palm. For his trouble, Sunset Shimmer flipped the man a poker chip as a tip, and neatly deposited herself into the driver's seat.

“Get in,” she said, and the other six did so. Twilight wound up riding shotgun, even though nobody called it. As the doors closed, Sunset Shimmer pushed down on the gas, and pulled away from the Megaluxe with what meager speed she could get out of the battered minivan, and out into the Las Pegasus night.

Sunset Shimmer waited until the Megaluxe was out of the rear view mirror before she spoke.

“Uh. Sorry.”

“What was that?” Twilight said, flabbergasted.

“It was scary,” Fluttershy said.

“It weren't true.” Applejack grumbled.

“It was kinda awesome.” Rainbow Dash mused.

“It did get us out of there.” Rarity said.

“When Rainbow Dash called that guy a bully, well … it reminded me of when I was a bully.” Sunset Shimmer tightened her fingers around the wheel. “And that's when I realized … a lot of being bully is, well, reputation. Doesn't matter if it's high school, or Las Pegasus. But the problem is, once someone sees through you … well, it all falls apart. It's what you guys did to me.”

“We also shot you with a friendship laser.” Pinkie Pie noted.

“That too.” Sunset said with a little laugh. The passing neon lights of the Las Pegasus strip rhythmically passed over her face as she drove on. “So … well, I just figured out a way to threaten that guy's reputation. And now we're here.” Sunset sniffed a little bit, and wiped at the corner of her eye. “Figures. After all this, it's not friendship that got us out of trouble, but … well, lying and intimidating and otherwise being evil.”

“You're not!” Twilight Sparkle said, perhaps too loudly. “I mean, uh. Evil, that is. Or if you are, I guess that makes me kind of evil too? I mean, I did kind of meddle with chaos magic for the explicit purpose of defrauding a casino.”

“Perhaps … evil isn't the best term.” Rarity leaned forward in her seat. “Maybe we're just, ah … charmingly mischievous.”

“Whoopee cushions are mischievous, Rarity.” Sunset said. “Casino fraud is … something else?”

“Oooh, ooh, what if you did both?” Pinkie Pie chimed in.

“What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Let's just say Mister Casino Guy is gonna have a biiiiiig surprise next time he sits down in his office.”

“We all did something we probably shouldn't have.” Twilight said.

“Except Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash said. “She's like the goodiest goody-two-shoes of all of us.”

“If you say so.” Fluttershy clutched a conspicuously large backpack to her chest. “Unless. Um. It's not illegal to take a juvenile tiger across state lines, is it?”

“Rowr,” said Fluttershy's backpack.

“So we're stopping at a zoo on the way back.” Sunset Shimmer said.

“Aw,” said Fluttershy.

“See?” Twilight said, “even Fluttershy got a little carried away. But the important part is that nobody got hurt--”

“Except for the manager when Rainbow tackled 'im. Oh, and the fellers I hit with a chair.” Applejack said.

“The important part is none of us got hurt.” Twilight amended. “Not to mention, if Discord's as bad as you say he is, who knows what he would've done if we just let him run loose? He was so distracted with being mean to us, he didn't have the chance to turn the world into a roiling sea of madness, right?”

“No crazier than Las Pegasus is normally.” Sunset said as she drove past a three story tall neon cowboy.

“Exactly! It's not like you would do any of those bad things if Discord hadn't put you in a terrible situation.”

“You're not saying the ends justify the means, are you? I don't think that's the kind of friendship lesson I should sharing with Twi—” Sunset Shimmer bit the inside of her cheek. “Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“So … don't?” Twilight adjusted her glasses, nervous. “I mean, if one Twilight knows … something, that's enough, right?” She reached out and placed her hand atop Sunset's on the steering wheel.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Sunset wiggled her fingers a little, but didn't pull away. “Besides, I at least learned something else very important.”

“What's that?” Twilight asked.

“Next time Discord shows up, we just blast him with magic right away.”

All seven of the girls broke into relieved, playful laughter.

“So now what?” Sunset said, even as she found her fingers interlacing with Twilight's.

“Well.” Twilight pulled a road map out of the glove box with her free hand. Unfolding it with just one hand was a little trickier, but she couldn't bring herself to break contact with Sunset Shimmer if she didn't have to. “We're a little over a thousand miles from home. But, since it's spring break, and nothing's trying to blow up the world, so we can take some time in getting back. Maybe do a little sightseeing on the way back. Y'know. Spend some quality time … together?” Twilight looked over the edge of the map at Sunset.

Sunset gave her hand a squeeze. “So, where to?”

Twilight hid her blush behind the road map. “Well, the Biggest Ball of Twine in the World is only about three hundred miles to the southeast … “

“Twine? Lame.” Rainbow Dash said from the backseat.

Sunset laughed, and gunned the van's poor engine a little harder. “Hey, sometimes it doesn't matter where you're going, as long as you go with your friends.”

They sped off into the darkness of the desert, and left Las Pegasus behind them.