Chapters Episode 1
Chapter 1
Dancing through the shadowy, crowded space of her basement, a mare swings her hips to the sweet sounds of her boom box blaring a tune she just cannot resist moving to. A protective welder's mask shields her face as she uses a blowtorch to meld two metal pipes together, but her lemon yellow coat is splotched with soot and dirt; and her brick red mane is frizzy and tangled. She then reaches out to one of the many shelves that line the cement wall, sifting through the many, random assortments of scrap metal with her eyes still fixed on what she's building. Pulling an oddly shaped piece of metal from the shelf, she then quickly begins welding it to the welded pipes. The chorus of the song kicks in, and she immediately sings along perfectly in sync. As she finishes welding, she hops into a worn and torn swivel chair, and wheels her way over to a set of boiling and bubbling beakers, all filled with colored liquids. As the chorus rises to its climax, the mare raises her voice as high as she can.
The door leading into the basement flies open, and a bronze-coated stallion with a neatly combed, blonde mane rushes inside with his hooves plugging his ears. "Bam!" He shouts. "Bam will you please tone that 'noise' down!" The mare wheels herself over to her boom box, and quickly turns the dial to lower the volume of the music.
"Oh come on, Spades! It's Hooves and Grooves!"
"I wasn't talking about the song or the band, I meant that ear-splitting sound that was being accompanied with it," says Spades, rubbing his ears from the agony.
"Oh that was me! I'm getting good right?!"
"Well, good at helping ponies turn deaf." He mutters.
"Wait a minute." The mare, scrunching her eyebrows together, appearing as though she's just been hit with the rudeness of Spades' comment.
". . . What?"
"As a matter of fact, deafness is mostly caused by genetics, old age, infections, and a prolonged exposure to noise. Now, if we thought about this realistically, considering the amount of time that I held the last note of the chorus, I find it completely implausible that somepony could turn deaf from the mere seconds of the frequency I had my voice set. So, hah! Joke's on you!"
"Whatev's. . . Hey, I guess you could say I've been--"
"Bamboozled!" The mare says, as Spades mumbles the word along.
"I'm surprised you didn't follow it up with that, you usually do," says Spades.
"I know! Thank you for reminding me!"
"Speaking of 'reminding you', did you look for anything promising in the paper?"
"Even better!"
"I hate it when you say that. . . What do you do instead?" Spades groans with his hoof over his eyes.
"I went to go look for the paper, but I didn't find it. So, I went on a search!"
". . . And?"
"I found this huge stack of newspapers just lying around behind somepony's house! Can you believe someone even thought of throwing it all away? That paper could've been used for recycling, reading . . . papier mache. . ."
"Umm. . ." Spades mumbles as he investigates the papers. "These papers date back years ago. Local Hoofington Parade . . . 100th Anniversary?!"
"The 100th? Hooray! I can't believe it's been that long." Bam smiles with her hoof under her chin.
"Bam, it's going to be the Hoofington Parade's '150th' Anniversary this year!"
". . . Gee, it's been longer than I thought."
"Why did you keep all these papers from decades ago?" Spades asks, flabbergasted.
“I thought there would be ads for us answer to!” Bam crosses her forelegs.
“But if they're 'this' old then--! Ugh, alright, let me take a look here.” Spades digs through the stack of papers, flipping through the pages.
"So, how did the meeting with your clients go?"
"Well. . ." Spades sighs. "I stopped by that old mare's place, you know, the one who's been claiming that she's been hearing peculiar sounds in her attic?"
"Right."
"And, as it turns out, I've concluded that this was a complete waste--"
"Oh come on!"
"A complete waste of my time, Bam. I have no idea why you made me continue investigating her story."
"Well . . . I mean . . . she's just such a nice lady--"
"Exactly, you and I both know there was absolutely nothing unique or interesting about her story at all. For goodness' sake Bam, she leaves that little window in the attic open all the time. It could easily be some rodent or bird getting inside and making all these sounds she hears."
"Okay, but then why would these animals be having a party in her attic so often then? There's no way these animals just get inside to make some noises, so many times a day, just to creep her out."
"Oh, but the open window wasn't the only thing that helped me prove my conclusion."
"Well, what was it then?"
"Oh, I don't know, the fact that she has bags and bags of nuts and seeds stored up in her attic! Many of which are clearly torn into with plenty of empty shells all over the floor! Such a waste of time."
"Oooh! So 'that's' where she got all those nuts from!"
". . . What are you talking about?"
"She always stopped by our house to give my Dad a bowl of peanuts, cashews, almonds and all sorts of nuts!"
"So," Spades covers his face with his hooves, taking a big, painful sigh. "You're telling me that you 'knew' she had some stash of peanuts, and never told me about it?"
"I didn't think it was important! Besides, at least she can rest easy knowing that the noises were just some animals."
"Yeah, yeah I guess; but Bam, we can't just waste our time investigating these bland, usual cases of 'strange noises' or 'oh, I saw a shadow'. We're not going to get anywhere that way."
". . . I'm sorry."
"It's fine, don't worry about it. I know she's your neighbor and all, but I just knew it wasn't going to be anything but a simple explanation just like the other couple of clients I met today. . . Hey, what are you working on this time?”
“Oh yeah! You came just in time!”
“Oh boy. . .”
“I’ve been spending hours working on this liquid solution! All it needs is just one more thing added, and it should be impeccable!” Bam grabs a set of small tongs, picks up a test tube filled with orange fluid, and gently pours it into the boiling beaker. “And, wha-bam! There it is!”
“Okay, and what exactly is—” Spades takes his eyes away from the newspapers to see Bam gulping down the beaker of bubbly fluid. “. . . it?” He finishes. After downing half the beaker, Bam takes a pleased breath. “Bam, why in the name of Celestia did you drink that?”
“Nothing to worry about! As I’ve found our own way to produce fizzy, orange flavored drinks! None of that harmful stuff you find in the canned goods at the market, this here is all perfectly harmless!” Bam takes another sip, as Spades shakes his head, but smirks at the same time.
“So, ‘that’ is what you’ve been working on for hours?”
“Not just that, I’m putting the final touches on my newest invention!”
“Oh yeah,” says Spades as he proceeds to skim through the papers. “You wouldn’t tell me anything about it.”
“That’s right! I wanted it to be a surprise. And now, I’m ready to unveil the machine that’s going to give us the edge!”
“Yup, here we go.” Spades whispers. Bam hops out of her chair, trotting to a table with something hidden under a big, filthy white sheet.
“After several attempts, test after test, failure after failure; I am 99.87 percent positive that this time I’ve nailed it! Everypony at the university called me crazy, insane even!”
“Well, they weren’t ‘that’ far off.” He whispers again.
“And soon, they’ll be ready to eat their words! Spades my friend, you’ve stuck it through with me since the beginning, and you shall be rewarded!”
“With brain damage.” This time, Spades’ whisper is just loud enough to be heard.
“Spades!”
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. Go ahead, what am I being rewarded with?”
“You will be rewarded with the opportunity to be the first pony to use my new Proton-Focused Energy Pack!”
“A ‘what’ now?”
“Oh yes, you heard me Spades!” Bam rips off the white sheet to reveal a hunk of metal composed of various wires, tubes, and gizmos. Like a backpack, it’s just about the same size, complete with straps to be worn on the wearer’s back. “Tada!” Spades, with his curiosity peaking, rushes over to the table investigating Bam’s new gadget.
“Wait, ‘this’ is that Proton-based, capture device you were talking about?”
“Uh-huh!”
“I don’t believe it, it’s so compact!”
“Precisely! Now anywhere we go, we can be ready for whatever threat may present itself. Whether it be physical, spectral, ethereal, you name it! I've also taken the liberty of installing ,what I like to call, the triple ‘A’ feature!”
“Triple ‘A’? What’s that mean exactly?”
“Well, with it, we’ll be prepared to adjust any situation. This dial here can be set to Arrest, Assault; and the mode I’m particularly excited to test, Astral Mode! Finally, we will be able to stand a fighting chance against all these types of beings!”
“Well- I- Th-This is incredible! Does it work?”
“Do you want to find out?”
“Of course!”
“Well, then strap it on!” Bam helps Spades get the invention around his forelegs until it’s able to rest on his back. She reaches over to the metal pipe she had been welding, and plugs a loose tube end into the other end of the pipe. “Alright, just hold on to this by the handle.” She then lets Spades grab onto a rubber protrusion from the side of the pipe with his teeth. “Now, by biting down onto the handle, you’ll press a button underneath that should release a stream of proton energy from the nozzle! Here, let me just switch you on. . .” Bam flips a switch on the back of the metal pack, following up with the sounds of revving from the inside as lights flash and pulse all around the machine. “Alright!” Bam steps away from Spades, raising her voice to overtake the noises coming from the pack. “Now I’ve drawn a typical, everyday depiction of what ponies perceive as a 'ghost' on the wall. Your beam should already be set to Assault Mode. Just aim, and press the button!”
“W-Well, okay!” Spades bites down onto the rubber handle, and instantly he can feel the rush of energy through the tubes all the way to the barrel of the handle. A bright, blue light shines out of the nozzle, and Bam’s eyes widen with anticipation. As the machine continues to rev, it suddenly struggles to keep that constant sound. The revving becomes distorted, sounding more like a growl as it grows louder. “Uhh, Bam? Is it supposed to be making that noise?”
“I’m uh . . . not too sure.”
“What?!” With an explosion of light, a jagged ray of electricity shoots out from the nozzle, jolting both Spades and Bam. The lighting dances uncontrollably around the room and towards Bam, who ducks down with her hooves over her head to avoid the ray of light. Spades’ body jerks with the movement of the electricity, unable to control it as it burns everything it touches, sending sparks flying everywhere around the room.
“Spades! Let go of the button!” Bam screams, but Spades doesn’t seem to be responding to her plea. Waiting for the right opportunity, she dashes towards the light show, and flicks a switch on the back of the machine. The lighting ends, and Spades is left standing with his face and limbs frozen in terror. Taking a sigh of relief, Bam calms herself, but is then followed by disappointment. “Well, I suppose that other .13 percent of me was right.” The basement door bursts open, and a stallion rushes inside.
“Bam Boozle, what is going on down here?! What happened?” He takes one good, long look at the utter destruction of the basement. Black scorch marks all over the walls, metal parts and shelves knocked down and scattered all over the room; with Bam carrying a worried smile on her face, and Spades still frozen with his wide eyes and clenched teeth.
“Oh! H-Hey Dad! We were just umm . . . testing some new equipment!” She chuckles nervously. Before Bam’s father can respond, Spades slowly tips over and falls on his back with a loud thud.
Episode 1
Chapter 2
“I just don’t understand it. Maybe the connection between the accelerator and the proton release mechanism broke loose.” Bam wonders.
“You know, I was just about to wonder the exact same thing,” says Spades from inside another room.
“You really think so?”
“No, I don’t.” Spades emerges with a portion of the stack of newspapers, and sets them down on the pile.
“Thanks for letting me work at your place while my Dad fixes up the basement.”
“No sweat, just . . . don’t turn my room into a microwave oven, will ya?”
“I’ll try.” Bam smiles. Spades sits down on the carpet, digging through the newspapers once again while Bam works on her invention on the floor as well. “You know, I’ve never gotten a chance to see your place! It’s very . . . spacious!”
“Well, you never leave your Dad’s basement in the first place. Besides, there’s obviously not much here worth seeing.”
“Why don’t you just buy some furniture?”
“Because that costs money, which I have none thereof. I’m even having trouble keeping up with the rent, and this was the cheapest room ‘because’ of how empty it is.”
“Is the landlord even allowed to sell you an empty room?”
“I don’t care, I’m glad he did. Otherwise I’d be at my parents’ house living under ‘their’ rules.”
“. . . Ah-hah!” Bam shouts, scaring Spades as he jolts.
“What?! What happened?!”
“It ‘was’ the connection! Somehow it dislodged itself. If I just tighten the wiring around here . . . then that should about fix it,” she says, leaning closer to the machine. Spades taps her shoulder, getting her to lean back up to look at him.
“Please, don’t cook your face off.”
“Right, got it.” She then lowers a pair of thick, binocular-like goggles from her forehead to her eyes, and leans back in to work on the machine leaving Spades to his stack of papers. “Alright, let me just replace the circuit here. . .”
“You’re kidding me. Bam.”
“Get this new one installed here. . .”
“Bam, look at this.”
“Now to tighten the wiring. . .”
“Bam, listen.”
“Almost got it. . .”
“Bam!” Spades yells, slamming his hoof down onto the newspapers repeatedly.
“I got it!” Bam yells as well, leaning back up. “I’ve got it Spades, everything should be functioning now!”
“Okay, fantastic, please don’t test it here; but did you hear what I was saying?”
“Why? What were you saying?”
“I’ve finally found something!” Spades says, agitated.
“Oh, well go ahead and read it!”
“This small little article here says: Unknown Species Stalks Local’s Home.”
“Oh! Excellent! Go ahead, keep reading.”
“For months, the witness states, he has been stalked by a winged creature that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. It all began when he awoke in the middle of the night to a strange sound. Upon investigating by peering out his bedroom window, he claimed he saw a pair of huge, red eyes. ‘They were like two big, red spotlights shining on me,’ said the witness. ‘I stared at them for a matter of seconds before they disappeared, after that, things just got worse’.”
“Oh boy! This is great!”
“Sightings of this creature were not just limited to the nighttime, he also claims he’s heard the same sound just outside his house while preparing breakfast, and that he’s caught a glimpse of the creature just at the break of dawn. ‘I’ve never felt so unsafe living in my own home,’ the witness adds. The witness has called animal control on several occasions, and they believe that it could be an endangered species of owl, as the witness does live in a thick stretch of woods, it doesn’t sound unlikely.”
“An owl?!”
“Yeah, what I believe is unlikely, is that whatever this guy saw in the woods is just a little owl. There isn't much to go on in terms of what this creature actually looks like, but regardless, ‘this’ is a story worth investigating. And check this out, here’s the guy’s address and everything!”
“Oh . . . but . . . when was this article published?”
“It’s been quite some time, but if we’re lucky, this guy’s probably still living in his house with this thing lurking in the woods. Trust me, from what I’ve read, ponies for some reason tend to stay in the house for years and years despite the amount of strange activity. I just hope he hasn’t been pushed to the breaking point just yet.”
“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go get our gear and head down there!” Bam grabs Spades by the foreleg, and trots out of the room. Realizing she left it behind, she pops back inside to retrieve her invention before galloping back out of the room.
Back down in her Dad’s basement, she and Spades begin packing all their gear into large gym bags, filling each one to the brim with all sorts of gadgets and gizmos that she’s built over the years. “Are you sure we’re going to need ‘all’ of this?” Spades asks.
“Hey, you can never be too prepared!” Says Bam.
“What are you two doing now?” Bam’s father asks as he enters the room in a filthy apron after trying to clean the basement. “Are you moving out?”
“Not yet Dad, we finally might have the case we’ve been waiting for right in our hooves!” Bam cheers as she and Spades climb up the stairs with their stuffed gym bags.
“Alright, well, be careful! I don’t want you guys getting into any trouble!”
“It’s okay Dad! We’re ‘looking’ for trouble!” Bam shouts as she and Spades leave the basement.
“Oh, well that’s okay then.” Her Dad mumbles.
Episode 1
Chapter 3
“Maybe he’s not home,” says Bam.
“No, I could’ve sworn I heard someone in there. Try ringing the doorbell again,” says Spades as he tries to peer through the window. Bam presses the button for the doorbell, and within a matter of seconds, a voice from inside responds.
“I heard ya the first time! Just give me a minute will ya!” A raspy, older voice yells.
“Well, at least we know he’s home,” says Bam.
“And will ya git away from my window!” The voice commands. Frightened, Spades quickly leaves the window to stand with Bam at the doorstep.
“Alright, do you remember the plan?” Spades asks.
“I sure do!” says Bam. The tumblers of locks turn and click, and the tall door opens just a crack to see a sliver of an elderly stallion watching them with tired eyes.
“Hello sir!” Spades happily greets. “We don’t mean to bother you, but—”
“It’s already too late fer that.” The elderly stallion interrupts.
“Oh, yes, of course. I’m truly sorry about that, but we—”
“You were the feller peepin’ through my window.”
“. . . Yes, I’m uh . . . very sorry about that. I just wanted to make sure you were home and—”
“Alright, what’s all this about? You show up to my house, peekin’ through the windows, you’ve got these big bags. . . What? You kids can’t find the gym?”
“Oh, no sir. Allow me to introduce ourselves, I’m Doctor Spades, and this is Professor Boozle.”
“Hello!” Bam gleefully greets with a big smile.
“Doctor? Professor. . ? You tryin’ to kick me out! You think yer just gonna waltz over and take me away?!”
“W-What? No, I—”
“Well, let’s git one thing straight!” The stallion interrupts Spades once again, this time yelling at the top of his voice. “I ain’t leavin’! I’m never leavin’! No matter how many times you try to take me away! I ain’t leavin’!”
“Sir! Please, calm down!”
“Don’t you be tellin’ me to calm down boy! Now you got exactly five seconds to tell me what you want before I rip you apart!”
“W-Wha-I-I-We just—”
“We read your article in the newspaper about the creature!” Bam breaks in.
“. . . You what now?” The stallion asks.
“We read about your story, how you’re being stalked by a winged creature around your house—”
“Shh!” The stallion sticks his head out from the doorway, glancing to the left and right of his front yard. “Alright, come on inside! Quickly!” The stallion opens the door completely, and stands to the side as Bam and Spades walk inside. Spades still nervously distraught from the earlier confrontation, takes his time following behind Bam. “Sorry for my outburst back there, I didn’t expect you guys to show up today.”
“Oh, that’s okay.”
“I really should be thanking you for taking the time to help me. I’m sure you two got more important things to handle down in Ponyville than up here.”
“Umm, yeah! Ponyville, it’s . . . it’s a crazy place isn’t it Spades?”
“Oh, yeah it’s just pure insanity down there. But, we’re always happy to help,” says Spades.
“Great! My name is Haystack, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you Professor Boozle, Doctor Spuds.”
“Nice to meet you too!” Says Bam.
“Umm, it’s ‘Spades’, Mister Haystack.” Spades adds.
“Ah, right. Again, forgive me for earlier, I hope I didn’t frighten ya.”
“Oh, no it’s . . . it’s quite alright,” he says, nervously.
“Well, let me give you two a tour of my home, and we can discuss the matter at hoof.” Mister Haystack leads them down the hall, and they are given a good look at how high class the interior of his home is. From the white, tiled floors to the framed paintings hanging from the walls, it’s clear that this stallion has made quite a living for himself.
“Wow, your home is beautiful Mister Haystack! It feels so much larger on the inside,” says Bam.
“Thank you Professor, I run a Hay business here in Hoofington.”
“Cool!”
“So, just what ‘are’ you two anyway? It wasn’t made very clear in the letter.”
“We are a team specialized in the study of otherworldly phenomena and the capture and containment of any such ethereal, demonic, or fiendish lifeforms and organisms that belong to this world or perhaps another.” Both Mister Haystack and Spades stare at Bam, stunned by the mouthful of words she had just launched at them.
“In layman’s terms, we’re Monster Trackers,” says Spades.
“Monster Trackers eh? Well, that’s great! I didn’t know there was a group of specialists for this kind of thing,” says Mister Haystack.
“Well, it’s a good thing those ponies in Ponyville sent us, as I assure you we’ll be able to take care of whatever it is that’s been stalking your home.”
“That is great news! So, where should I start?”
“Would you be able to describe the creature to us, we’d like to know exactly what it is we’re dealing with here.”
“Well, I’d say it’s about half our size, and . . . from a distance it looked like some kind of huge owl.”
“I see, so the reporter’s weren’t too convinced this was something out of the ordinary.”
“I suppose, but there were so many things I never told them.”
“What? But why?” Bam asks.
“I was afraid that, if I told them exactly what I saw, everypony would definitely just dismiss every word that came out of my mouth. They already consider me the ‘crazy, old town lunatic’.”
“Well, there’s no worries with us,” says Spades. “We’re not here to make judgements on you. Go on, tell us exactly what you saw.”
“Well, one night, I woke up to a strange sound out in the woods. It sounded like a cicada almost, just . . . deeper. When I looked out my window, I saw these two giant, red eyes shining through the trees. I went to go light a candle just so I could have some light in the room, but before I knew it, the eyes were gone. What that news article won’t tell you, is that when I laid back down to try and force myself to go to sleep, I turned over back towards the window to see the creature glaring at me from the window. I-I don’t know how it perched itself there, there’s no tree branches or windowsill for it to sit.”
“Interesting. . .”
“Keep going! This is astounding!” Says Bam.
“I kept the candle lit to try and help me calm down, and it helped me get a real good look at this thing. It definitely had the shape of an owl, yes, and even feathers like one; but its eyes, they took up such huge portions of its head. And I could’ve sworn its eyes were those just like a fly. Then its . . . ‘beak’ I guess you could call it, looked just like a couple of pincers from a giant beetle er somethin’. After I got a good look at it, I jumped out of bed to leave the room. As soon as my hooves hit the floor, it spread out its huge, bat-like wings, and took off. After that, I never slept in that bedroom again, or near a window for that matter.”
“Incredible! Some sort of bird slash insect hybrid!”
“Hybrid? Or perhaps a natural-born amalgamation?” Spades adds.
“Oh please, I find it highly improbable that an insect could conceive anything with an avian mammal.”
“I’m not saying that has to be the case, but I do believe that there just might be some truth to that news article. This could very well be an undiscovered species that’s been in hiding for who knows how long.”
“True, but we can’t rule out the ‘ethereal’ possibility. He did say he saw this creature near his window without some sort of platform to perch itself on.”
“Hmm . . . Mister Haystack, did you ever get a look at the ‘feet’ of this creature?”
“Umm, I . . . no, I don’t think I have,” says Mister Haystack.
“I have a theory, perhaps since this creature bears many aspects of that of an insect, it could very well possess feet similar to an insect as well. Insects can scale walls effortlessly due to their jagged legs which are covered in microscopic hairs that allow them to cling to any surface.”
“That could be true! So, if this thing is indeed ‘natural’, then when there’s one, there could be a whole flock of these things. Maybe even an entire colony!”
“Judging by the bat-like wings, and how we’re unsure of how that aspect of this being comes into play, perhaps we can assume that it is a cave dweller. With the amount of land this forest covers, there is bound to be plenty of caves that could house a colony.”
“Have you ever had an experience with two or more of these creatures, Mister Haystack?”
“Well, I-I uh. . . No, I only think there’s only been the one,” says Mister Haystack.
“Ah! A lone wolf!”
“Or, the last of its kind.” Spades adds.
“From what I can gather, I think this creature falls into the ‘physical’ category. Wouldn’t you say, Doctor?”
“I do believe I agree with you Professor, this is definitely a 'physical' case. What do you think Mister Haystack? Sound like a decent starting point?” Both Bam and Spades turn to Mister Haystack, who appears to be lost in the jargon that they had been spewing.
“Wow,” says Mister Haystack mystified. “You two sure do know your stuff huh?”
“Like we said, Mister Haystack, we’re specialists. Now, would you be so kind as to guide us to the bedroom where you had your first encounter with the creature?”
“Oh, yes! Yes, of course! Just follow me.” Mister Haystack continues down the hall as Bam and Spades turn to each other, and proudly bump their hooves together. Haystack guides them into a warm, stuffy, dusty room. A simple bedroom where the bed sheets are hanging sloppily over the bedside, and a completely melted candle is spread all over the little nightstand. There is only one window, and for all three of them, they can feel an odd chill just by looking at it. Spades looks to his side, and sees Mister Haystack cowering behind the door as he holds it open.
“. . . Why don’t I go first?” Spades offers.
“P-Please, be my guest.” Spades walks into the room, examining every inch. Bam follows behind, and the both of them set their gym bags of gear onto the floor disturbing a thick layer of dust.
“This is the window?” Spades asks as he steps towards the clouded window.
“Y-Yes . . . yes, that’s it.” Mister Haystack confusedly answers. Spades wipes away the thick coating of dust and grime off the window with his hoof. He peers through the glass to see the large stretch of seemingly endless trees.
“Professor? Would you mind gathering the dimensions of this window?”
“I’m on it!” Says Bam as she immediately unzips her bag and pulls out a notepad and measuring tape. Hurrying to the window, she begins taking measurements and jotting down numbers on her notepad.
“Mister Haystack, you wouldn’t happen to have a tool shed would you?”
“I do, it’s full of tools and junk I never use. Why do you ask?”
“Would you mind if we used it for a while?”
“Oh, not at all. Go right ahead.”
“Perfect. We’re also going to need to borrow ‘you’ Mister Haystack if this plan is going to work.”
“Well . . . sure. I don’t know what you’d need ‘me’ for, but what did you have in mind?”
“I need you to sleep here tonight.”
“What?!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly safe. You can trust us.”
“. . . Alright, if it means putting an end to this nightmare, I’ll do it.”
“Excellent! Oh, and also, we’re going to need this window open the whole time as well.”
“Wha-B-But I-I—” Mister Haystack stutters in fear.
“Great! I knew you could handle it! Now if you’ll please excuse us, Professor Boozle and I have a lot of work to get to.” Spades returns to Bam, and they immediately begin talking amongst themselves, and retrieving more things from their bags.
Episode 1
Chapter 4
Mister Haystack can feel the cooling touch of the wind on his face, hiding the rest of his body under the bed sheets. He stares anxiously into the darkness beyond the window siding, listening to the forest whisper. With nothing but the small flame of a candle to alleviate the tension overwhelming his mind, he can’t even bear the idea of trying to fall asleep. His drooped ears flare up as the dreaded sound of a cicada gradually joins the blowing of the wind. Piercing the dark, two bright, round, red eyes glare at Mister Haystack. Already, he can feel his heart pounding at an excessive rate, but he does everything he can to keep his composure and not leave the bed. The eyes rise, followed by the sound of tree branches clanging against each other. The red spotlights grow larger as the deep beating of wings becomes more present. Mister Haystack, stiff from fear, hyperventilates and whimpers as the creature draws nearer to the window. It perches itself onto the bottom of the window, and folds in its bat-like wings as it watches Mister Haystack. Its red eyes coat the entire bedroom in a reddish hue, and tilts its head curiously. Its jagged, claw-like beak opens, and a long, worm-like appendage slides out from its mouth. The cicada noise intensifies, and Mister Haystack shrieks in terror.
“Now!” Spades yells. Both he and Bam yank onto two long wires with their teeth, and a series of mechanisms click and switch into place all along the walls. The creature spreads its wings and lunges towards Mister Haystack, but a contraption flings a large, secured net to capture the creature, and another contraption shuts and slams the window behind it to keep it from escaping. The monster struggles violently to free itself, but is unable to escape.
“We did it! We got it!” Bam cheers.
“I don’t believe it . . . we did it! Hah! That was a little too easy!” Says Spades. “Bam, quick! Get the trap!” Just as Bam is about to retrieve the trap, the creature starts squealing, and the sound rattles in their ears. As it continues to struggle in the net, its worm-like tongue spews streams of thick, transparent fluid all around the room. It splashes onto the walls, causing the wallpaper to steam and melt. “Everyone get down!” Spades shouts as he and Bam hide behind the bed. With Mister Haystack still frozen in fear, they grab and yank him behind the bed as he slams onto the wood floor. All of them shield the top of their heads with their hooves, listening to the goop splatter and walls sizzle. Suddenly, the spray of goop ends, and the creature’s screams gradually disappear. The three of them cautiously peek their heads over the top of the bed to see the puddles of steaming goo all around the room, but the creature has vanished.
“W-What happened?” Mister Haystack asks.
“Well, I think it got away,” says Spades.
“Ugh! I don’t believe this!” Bam fumes as she approaches the empty net. She undoes the contraption and takes down the net, and they all find that a large section of the glass window has melted away.
“How-H-How did it melt the glass, but not the net?” Mister Haystack asks.
“We composed these nets out of a strong metallic fiber that not even a chainsaw could cut through. . .” Spades begins.
“But we didn’t even consider reinforcing the window!” Bam finishes as she knocks her forehead with her hoof repeatedly.
“So, what do we do now?” Mister Haystack asks.
“Well. . .” Spades sighs. “We could try coming up with a new plan, and hope it comes back. Or, maybe since we got it on the run, maybe it won’t ever come back.”
“No way!” Bam shouts. “If this thing is at least as intelligent as any animal, it might be driven off for a while, but it’ll come back! As long as we have it on the run ‘now’, we need to keep up the intensity and finish the job!”
“Professor, just, calm down for a second. Let’s think about this rationally. We’re clearly not aware of how dangerous this thing actually is. We should try and stage a new trap with a new approach and—”
“I will ‘not’ calm down!” Bam interrupts. “It’s going to take a whole lot more than some acidic, digestive plasma to frighten me, so we are ‘not’ going to design an entirely new trap just because of that!” Bam digs in her gym bag, and retrieves a couple of yellow, construction caps with flashlights strapped to them. She puts one on her head, and approaches Spades, who is worryingly glancing to the left and right of him. “This thing dares to insult ‘my’ intelligence?! That was a big mistake!” She then slams the other hardhat onto Spades’ head. Going back to dig into the gym bag, she retrieves her Proton-Focused Energy Pack, straps it onto her back, and storms out of the bedroom.
“Woah, woah, woah, Professor! What are you doing?! You can’t bring that thing! It’s too dangerous!”
“Trust me, it’ll work this time! I know it! That bug, bird, beetle bat needs to be taught a lesson!” She shouts as she heads down a set of stairs. Spades and Mister Haystack look at each other in complete shock from Bam’s outburst.
“Is she always like this?” Mister Haystack asks.
“Nope, that was something completely new to me,” says Spades. “I’ll tell you what sir, after what we’ve just been through, ‘she’ scares me more than the creature out there.” Spades collects the trap, turns and trots out of the bedroom into the hall. “Professor! Wait up!” Now alone, and the room silent, Mister Haystack looks around at the chaos that’s been unleashed in his room.
“Well . . . I suppose I’ll just clean this up.”
Spades trots out of the house and into the dark. He switches on the light on his hardhat, and gallops into the woods hoping to catch a glimpse of Bam’s light. “Bam! Bam, where are you?!” He shouts into the woods continuously. Galloping further and further into the woods, and still without any sight of Bam or the creature, he stops to lean against a tree and catch his breath. “Jeez Bam, I didn’t know you were so fast.” He says to himself. “This thing sticks its tongue out at you, and the next thing I know, you’re on a bloodlust.” A twig snaps nearby, and he jolts to find Bam standing just a couple of meters away. “Bam! There you are!” He says, approaching her.
“Stop!” She commands. “Don’t move.”
“Why? What’s going on?” Bam doesn’t respond, and instead, she switches on her machine as it begins to rev, and the lights flash around it. “Bam . . . what are you doing?”
“Don’t move.” She grips the handle in her mouth, pulls and points the nozzle of the gun towards Spades.
“Look, let’s just talk about this. I don’t know what I did, but I take it all back. Just, lower the gun.” Spades suddenly feels something touch his shoulder, and once he checks it and finds a glop of goo dripping down his foreleg, the dreaded screeching noise erupts above him. He is whole body is enveloped by a red light, and the same fleshy tongue wraps around his waist. His body jerks and drags along the ground deeper into the woods. “Spades!” Bam yells as she chases after him while he’s screaming for help. Bam gallops, swerving around trees and leaping over fallen logs and stones, trying to keep up with Spades.
She gallops even deeper into the woods as his screams fade into an echo. Bam halts, skidding her hooves along the ground, staring into the pitch black cave before her. She yells Spades’ name into the cave, hearing nothing but her own voice echo inside. Her hoof trembling, she switches back on the flashlight on her hardhat, and cautiously steps inside.
Her light tears through the blackness, revealing the wet, shiny, stone walls of the cave. The only sounds she can hear are the drops of water puddling on the ground, and the revving of her machine. “Spades!” Bam yells. At once, a huge flock of bats rush towards Bam. She shields her face with her hoof as the bats fly passed her and out of the cave. “Strange,” Bam says to herself. “What are they running away from?” She ventures further into the cave, and finds herself stepping into a pile of goop very similar to the stuff the creature had been spitting at her and Spades back at the house. The only difference being that this transparent sludge doesn’t seem to burn with direct contact. Bam’s body then shudders as the creature’s unforgettable screech fills the cave. Realizing she’s close, Bam continues to trek through the pool of goo. Pointing her light in every which direction as the air suddenly becomes more humid, she spots an unusually large mound of slime near the cave wall. She approaches with her light shining directly on it, and due to its transparency, she can vaguely make out something encased in the slime. Spades’ body is completely encased in the goo, and Bam instantly starts to panic. “Spades!” Bam gasps. “Don’t worry, I’m going to get you out of this mess,” she says as she tries to dig through the goo with her hooves. “This very . . . sticky mess. . .” Bam finds the slime sticking to her hooves like glue, and within seconds, the dreaded red light shines behind her.
She feels something wrap and tighten around her waist before it forcibly jerks and drags her away from Spades’ partially exposed body. She lands on her back, and looks up to see the creature hanging upside down from the ceiling of the cave. Its long tongue has her by the waist, and its eyes shine down on her light a red spotlight. With the gun of her machine still in the tight grip of her mouth, she point the nozzle up at the creature, and bites down on the button. She can feel the machine charging up, and as sparks begin to trickle from the nozzle, a curvy, but smooth beam of bright, blue light fires from the gun and towards the creature. The beam nicks the creature’s wing, causing it to scream in pain and fly away while releasing Bam from its grasp. Bam scrambles to her hooves, catching her breath while looking all around her for the creature, pointing the gun in all directions. Flying in circles around the cave, trying to get away, Bam continues to fire the blue beam at it. However, she can’t nail another hit, as it’s just too swift in its movements. Bam hears a sudden low-tone beeping noise coming from her pack, accompanied by a big red light. “Uh-oh . . . the battery’s dying?!”
Spades opens his eyes as he can feel energy returning to his body, and can barely see Bam squaring off with the creature due to his blurry vision. Bam continues to fire at the creature, but is still having trouble getting a clear shot, and fears the pack losing energy at any moment. Spades squirms inside the cocoon of goo, but manages to break free and fall on his stomach. He can feel something poking his chest, and pushes himself up to find the trap underneath him. Coming to grips with the situation, he sets up the metal, cage trap with trembling hooves, and readies the remote control. “Bam!” He shouts as she quickly turn to find him knelt to the ground, completely soaked in slime. “I’ve got the trap ready! Try to lure it over here!” Bam switches the dial’s setting on the pack from Attack to Arrest Mode. She points the gun, aiming carefully as she follows the creature’s irregular flight pattern around the cave. She bites down onto the button to release an orange beam of light, with another smaller, blue beam swirling around it like a candy cane. It makes contact with the creature, and immediately wraps and entangles the creature, stopping it dead in midair. The creature struggles to free itself, but can’t. “Y-You got it! Now just-just bring it here to the trap!” With her body jittering from the energy being sent through the pack to the handle, she guides the creature closer to Spades.
With a small, metal control panel and a long chord leading to the cage, he presses down on the big, center button switching on the trap. The roof of the cage flips open, and electricity pulses around the metal wiring of the cage. The creature is held just above the trap, and the beeping is only becoming more prominent. “Alright! Now just lower it down!” Spades shouts. Gently, Bam aims down her gun, guiding the creature down to the opening. “I’m ready to close it! Let it go!” The beam ends, and the stunned monstrosity falls into the cage, immediately getting zapped. Spades releases the button, and the lid to the cage slams down and locks. The creature shrieks and rattles inside the cage, desperately trying to escape. Spades presses a smaller button on the control panel, sending a short burst of electricity through the cage, shocking the creature, and halting its violent tantrums. “Y-Yeah! Hurts doesn’t it! Ya little Buggar! Ha-Ha!” Spades celebrates. “Bam, we got it! We got it! I can’t believe it actually worked!” Spades turns to see Bam frozen with her eyes glued to the encaged monster. “Bam? Bam, are you alright?” Bam’s eyes shift towards Spades, and a big smile spreads across her face followed by gleeful giggling. Within seconds, Spades joins her in laughter.
Mister Haystack, dressed in a white apron, is scrubbing away at the slime that’s been splattered across the bedroom. The sizzling has ended, and all that’s left is melted residue along with the cooled slime. “I never thought I’d see ‘this’ happen in my bedroom. Now I guess I’ve definitely seen it all.” He says to himself. “I hope those kids are alright out there.” Mister Haystack glances out the shattered window. The doorbell downstairs suddenly rings, sending Mister Haystack bolting as fast as he can, regarding his age, down the steps. He opens the door to find Bam and Spades, who’s completely soaked in slime, standing on his doorstep. “Woah! Sweet Celestia! W-What happened to the two of ya?”
“A lot of things happened to us, Mister Haystack.” Spades begins. “However, like I stated before, we’re professionals. We know how to handle the situation.”
“Wait! So, you’ve gotten it?!”
“Oh yeah, it’s right here.” Spades and Bam step aside to reveal the caged creature hissing and glaring its red eyes directly into Mister Haystacks. He jumps and takes a couple steps back from disgust.
“W-Well, I don’t know what to say other than thank you! You have no idea how much safer I feel knowing that ‘monster’ is finally out of my life for good!”
“I’m glad we could’ve been of service to you.” Spades then reaches and forcibly shakes Mister Haystack’s hoof, sharing the slime that’s coated Spades’.
“Y-Yes, definitely,” says Mister Haystack disgusted, yet wanting to keep his composure.
“Now, let’s talk numbers, shall we?”
“Oh! Yes, of course! How much will it be?” Spades and Bam turn to each other, and turn back to Mister Haystack with grins on both their faces.
Episode 1
Epilogue
Back in Bam’s basement, Spades is resting in a swivel chair leaning back as far as he can to get comfortable. Trying to wipe his face clean with a towel, but the goo appears to have slightly hardened, making it difficult to clean the fur of his coat. Bam is working on her invention at her little work station. Plugging her machine into the wall, and opening a compartment so she can reach inside with her tools.
“Well, Bam, I say we have a toast,” says Spades as he leans up from the swivel chair.
“Oh, yes! And I have the perfect thing!” Bam trots over to her set of sizzling beakers and test tubes, and pours two smaller beakers full of her bubbly, orange drink. “And what precisely are we toasting to?” Bam asks as she hands one of the beakers to Spades.
“Well, three things. First, to Mister Haystack, for being our first satisfied customer. And hopefully, not our last. Second, to the fact that with this money, we are finally on track. I have a really good feeling that soon we’ll be able to dig ourselves out of this basement in favor of a more . . . ‘professional’ location.”
“What’s the last thing?”
“The last thing would have to be . . . you, Bam.”
“Wha-Me?!”
“Hey, you saved me from being that bird bug’s breakfast. And after you managed to capture that thing on your own, I can honestly say you deserve it. Although . . . did you really have to bring a whole jar of that goop back with you?”
“Are you kidding? Of course I had to! Imagine how much we can learn from this!”
Spades sighs. “If you say so.” He then raises his beaker.
“Hold on, you forgot something!”
“What? What did I forget?”
“You forgot about Buggar!” Spades and Bam turn to see the creature still locked up in its cage far off in the corner of the basement. It glares and hisses at them as Spades raises an eyebrow and turns back to Bam who is simply looking on with a big smile on her face.
“What exactly are we going to do with this thing?”
“I say we keep him!”
“Okay, firstly, what?! Secondly, why?!”
“Come on, Spades! He’s actually kind of cute!”
“Cute?! Earlier you were just talking about that thing ‘insulting your intelligence’ and ‘teaching it a lesson’, and now all of a sudden it’s your new best friend?”
“No! He’s ‘our’ new best friend! Think about it. You’re good with animals, right?”
“I ‘know’ a lot about animals, I never said I was actually good with them. I’ll never forget that dog my parents used to have. Worst three months of my life as a kid.”
“Wait a minute, I never heard this story before! Why was it only three months?”
“That was how long we had him until he . . . disappeared.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well I’m not. Good riddance.”
“Seriously? He couldn’t have been ‘that’ mean.”
“Oh, but he could have. My parents named him, Cotton. You can probably guess why. This furball literally looked like a ball of hair that ran around the yard.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
“The only problem was that all that hair made it difficult to see the actual monster beneath it all. I swear to you that thing loved everypony else except for me. It’s like it had a grudge against me for some reason. That dog terrorized me in and out of the house. Chasing me down endlessly with that infuriating little bark of his.”
“Well, that’s just what dogs do. They like to chase.”
“Bam, this thing wanted blood. You have no idea how many times this little, furry demon bit, gnashed, and clawed at me. I have been afraid of dogs ever since. I don’t care how nice ponies say their dogs are, if one gets near me, I am heading for the hills. I feel like ever since that dog left, it’s been going around town and informing the others that I’m easy prey or something.”
“Okay, well, Buggard isn’t a dog. So, maybe you can train him to be civilized and ‘not’ want to spray us with digestive acids!”
“. . . How can you even try to make that sound exciting? And, so now it’s ‘Buggard’?”
“Yeah, when I look at him I think of calling him Edward, but then I start thinking: Hey, he kind of looks like a bug! So, I just combined the two and ‘bam’! We got Buggard.”
“Interesting. . . So, how about that toast huh?” Spades raises his beaker once again.
“Not until you promise to at least ‘try’ and train Buggard.”
“Not a chance.”
“Please!”
“There’s no way I’m going to even get near that thing. Besides, even if I ‘could’ get it trained, I don’t see the need for us to have some kind of ‘animal’ sidekick. You see that in all the cartoons, and it’s always just so cliché.”
“How about this?”
“Oh, geez.”
“I’ll make a sort of ‘dog collar’, where you can remote control it to send a small shock to Buggard in case he gets out of hoof.”
“I don’t know.”
“That way, you’ll be safe, I’ll be safe, and if it doesn’t work we’ll just shock him and get him back in the cage.” Spades looks on, unsure of what to say next. “Please, Spades! If it doesn’t work, I’ll never bring it up again.”
“. . . Fine, we’ll try.”
“Yes!” Bam clinks her beaker with Spades’, and they both sip from their beakers.
“I’ll tell you what. You’ve really nailed this orange stuff. It tastes great.”
“You see! I told you!”
“So, it just crossed my mind.”
“What?”
“Since we don’t have anywhere to put ‘Buggard’ . . . how is your Dad going to react knowing that he’s got a monster living in his basement? We’re lucky we snuck it inside without waking him up.”
“I’m not exactly sure. He’d probably trot out of the house screaming in terror.”
“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?”
“But! There is no need to worry about that happening. I’ve got the perfect plan.”
“And that plan consists of. . ?
“You’ll see.”
“. . . Alright, just . . . let’s make sure he doesn’t escape. We wouldn’t want to go through the trouble of capturing him a ‘second’ time.”
“You got it! Should I pour us a couple more cups?”
“You bet.”
Mister Haystack finishes taping a tarp around the window to keep the cold air from blowing in, at least until he can get a new window. He picks up the bucket of broken glass and makes his way downstairs, careful not to drop the bucket. Dumping the glass into a trash can in his kitchen, he hears a knock at his door. “Who could be knocking on my door at this time of night?” He whispers to himself. “Hello?! Who’s there?!” He shouts.
“Yes, hello!” A mare’s voice responds on the other side of the door. “We’re looking for a Haystack, a Mister Haystack!”
“Yeah, that’s me. Can I help you?” He asks, approaching the door.
“Oh, well, we got your message about some sort of ‘creature’ that’s been lurking around your home! We’re from Ponyville!” Mister Haystack opens the door, and finds two young mares standing on his porch. The one on the left is a Unicorn with a violet coat, and a darker, well-groomed mane with highlights of pink and red. The other is a sort of butterscotch yellow Pegasus who appears to be hiding herself by hunching over slightly with her long, pink mane blocking most of her face.
“You’re from ‘where’ now?”
“Ponyville,” says the violet mare. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my friend Fluttershy. We were sent here to take care of your ‘pest’ problem so to speak.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“A couple other youngsters from Ponyville said ‘they’ were sent here to take care of that creature.”
“But . . . that can’t be. Princess Celestia informed me that we would be the only ones to handle the job. Who were the two ponies that came here?”
“Oh, they were a couple of bright, young ponies. I’ll tell you what, they sure handled the job pretty well if you ask me. Took care of that beast in one night! Now I can finally sleep knowing that thing is far away from my property.”
“That’s incredible! I’m happy to know you’re safe, and that everything is under control.”
“Oh, you bet Miss. They came just this morning, and had that thing in a cage by night. They left only a few hours ago.”
“Oh, I hope that critter wasn’t in any pain,” says Fluttershy.
“Hey, those two sure seemed to know what they were doing! They were indeed professionals.”
“Did you happen to get their names? I’d really like to meet them in person.” Twilight asks.
“Of course, it was Professor Boozle and Doctor . . . Spuds I believe his name was, I could be wrong. They called themselves the ‘Monster Trackers’.”
“Monster Trackers?”
“I’ve never heard of them before,” says Fluttershy.
“Yeah, it’s strange. I’ve never heard of anypony calling themselves the ‘Monster Trackers’ in Ponyville. Nor have I heard of a Professor Boozle or Doctor Spuds,” says Twilight. “Did they give you any information on their whereabouts? Perhaps a business card?”
“Nope, I didn’t get anything like that,” says Mister Haystack. “I’m afraid that’s about all I know about ‘em. But wherever they are, I’m sure they’re busy cleanin’ up the town of any other creatures that may be lurkin’ around.”
“Well, I hope so as well. Anyway, again, I’m glad to know everything’s fine now. Sorry to have disturbed you this late at night.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble. Thank you for stopping by anyways. You ladies have a good rest of the night now.”
“You too, Mister Haystack.” He then closes the door, and the two mares leave the porch.
“The ‘Monster Trackers’ . . .” Fluttershy begins. “Why didn’t Princess Celestia just have them catch the critter instead of sending us?”
“That’s the problem,” says Twilight. “If these really are a couple of professionals like Mister Haystack claims, then I think Princess Celestia would’ve known about it. And if they said they were from Ponyville, then we definitely would’ve known about them, at least the name of their business. I think something shady is going on.”
“Why does it have to be shady? They came and caught the critter, and now Mister Haystack is happy. What’s so wrong about that?”
“It’s the fact that they apparently lied about where they were from that’s bothering me. If they really are a couple of ‘professionals’, then why would they have the need to lie?”
“Well, I guess you’re right. . . But, then, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try and confirm this with Princess Celestia tomorrow and find out just for sure who these ‘Monster Trackers’ really are and where they are. If ‘she’ doesn’t know, then something strange is definitely going on here.”
End of Episode 1
