Suddenly Ponies

by Billy G Gruff

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Sex, Random
Length: 10594

Ever wondered what it was like to be summoned out of another dimension like you were some great and powerful wish granting demon or something? No? Well to bad that's what this is about!

I was just going through my normal day and the next thing I know I'm being summoned to another dimension like I'm the great Beelzebub himself. I don't know where the hell I am or what these horse things are but I'll be damned if I get killed by one of them.

Who knows, maybe this purple horse thing will figure out how to send me back without killing me in the process. I won't hold my breath though.

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This is a Human in Equestria fic. If there is anything that comes up that needs to be warned about I'll let you guys know in the description.

Probably not going to be a clopfic, but if it does I'll make the appropriate modifications to the descriptions and add the necessary tags.

Published 2016-03-16 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-21 18:29:50 UTC

I just wanted to take a shower!

I just wanted to take a shower!

So have you ever been summoned out of your own dimension before? No? Well let me describe it to you; You are just minding your own business, just trying to take a quick hot shower to start your day before going to your mundane job. Maybe you are humming 'Its raining men" for some reason cause you heard it the other day and it decided to lodge itself in your noggin. Maybe you are slightly considering just going back to bed cause why the hell not. Point is you are just going through the motions of a typical morning and then -- much to your surprise -- a glowing purple glyph forms at your feet and starts screwing with the gravity.

You are there, flailing and floating about with droplets of water flying about in all directions with out gravity to pull it to the ground. Maybe you make some noises and squeals that aren't exactly appropriate for your gender but whatever -- reality decided not to play nice today so why bother trying to hide a girly scream or two.

Okay so maybe this is a pretty specific turn of events that wouldn't be indicative of everyone's forcible dislocation from reality but that's the experience I have to draw from. So anyway I'm flipping out and try to grab onto the shower curtain in the vain hope that it'd do something to help fix whatever the hell was going on at the time. It seemed to do the trick for a fraction of a millisecond, but that was until that glowing purple glyph thing decided to start spinning and sucking me into it. The force of it happening was enough for me to rip down the curtain clear off the rings and drag it along with me. I didn't even get a chance to turn the shower off, it was probably going to cause flooding now.

Next thing I know, my happy ass is in some kind of Alice in Wonderland bullshit tunnel as naked as the day I woke with a hangover from tequila for the first time. It was like some glowing kaleidoscope of what I would assume an acid trip would look like. It was really jarring to my eyes let me tell you, there was nothing to really focus on, just these swirling amalgamations of color that screwed with any perceptions of up and down and left and right. At least that was my take of it, I was a bit busy screaming my head off at the time and saying every curse word that came to mind to really enjoy the sights.

All at once I flop onto the ground face first, luckily not hard enough to break anything. Droplets of water from the shower rained onto the cold hard surface around me -- to be joined by the plastic curtain that fell down over my bare ass and back. At that point I'm thinking I'm going to beat the hell out of whoever spiked my drink last night because tripping out like that when you aren't ready for it is just not cool at all. I thought whatever, it was just some bad episode and I could pick my ass off the floor and go back to doing my thing. These thoughts were made when my face was plastered to the cold hard floor though, I hadn't checked my surroundings just yet.

Probably would of been a good idea.

Then I heard what could only be described as happy horse noises. My soapy head popped up from the floor and my eyes screamed at me to chill the fuck out over the lighting. I squinted and as my vision adjusted. All I could describe this as is as if a cartoon had been made 3 dimensional, this is how it would look. The colors were vibrant and simpler and it had this strange...animated look to it, its kind of hard to describe. I put my hand over my eyes to shield it from the bright light it was coping with and I could make out the source of the aforementioned whinnying came from. This blurry purple thing was hopping around a smaller blurry looking purple thing, and it looked like it was having the time of its life.

At that moment I was still serious about beating whomever spiked my drink, but then I would ask that person where they got it from after because hot damn this trip was vivid. I shakily got to my knees and tried to cover up my body with the curtain. I may not see anyone worth being modest over but considering I had no idea what the hell was going on I wasn't taking any chances. My vision focused a bit and I made out the shapes of some kind of horse and lizard

The tiny purple horse thing spotted me moving and its horn started glowing...

its horn started glowing...its horn....

As my brain tried to process that new bit of info I was enveloped in some kind of purple energy field, judging from the turn of events I could only surmise it was from the the winged horned horse thing...oh yeah it has wings, that's a thing.

My eyes were pretty adjusted now and I was in what could only be described as some kind of gigantic room made out of cartoonish crystal. That energy field that surrounded me made a perfect circle around where I was and prevented me from standing up. It didn't hurt to touch, but it was very much solid. It neighed at me and started gesturing its hooves. It looked kinda like a cat with its big eyes and head and twitchy ears. Maybe it was some kind of cat horse bird horn hybrid monstrosity of adorableness come to take over the world or something.

I could tell this much though, its eyes and the gestures it were making indicated it was trying to communicate and wasn't exactly menacing.

"Listen uh...Horsey.... I don't have a clue what you are saying" I said in a placating tone. She looked at me perplexedly, not understanding what I said at all. Ah the good old language gap, always a fun thing to deal with. Her eyes lit up in excitement and her horn flared up again. she pointed the tip of it at me and the beam that came out was too quick to avoid.

It kept making neighs and whinnies for a moment or two until it started sounding like a woman's voice. It was very gradual, and there was this moment when I heard both the horse noises and the female voice at the same time until the transition happened entirely.

"Do you understand me now?"

I blinked and felt around my body to feel if she had changed anything about me with that beam "Um...yes I can, and I'm not sure if I should be freaking out or not right now"

"I figured as much, which is why you are in temporary confinement for the moment. I also need to make sure you don't release any foreign pathogens into Equestria or get sick off of anything we have"

"Uh huh.... so could I ask something"

"Absolutely!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? WHY AM I TALKING TO A PURPLE HORNED HORSE ALIEN?!"

"Hey! Watch your manners!" Called out the lizard thing, it sounded like a kid to my ears now. Actually now that my eyes were adjusting he looked less like a lizard and more like something else. I didn't want to voice that something else unless I sounded like a complete loony though.

The talking horse seemed a bit taken aback by my outburst but she recovered quickly enough and placated her companion with a hoof.

"Its okay Spike, our new visitor is in a new world and is liable to experience some surges of emotions. Remember that one time we went to the human world?"

"Wait you went to my world?" I asked suddenly

she looked perplexed and dragged her eyes up and down my body, making me a bit self conscious about still being naked and soapy.

"You don't look like the humans I met... you are a lot taller for one thing, and your coloring is more subdued...you say you are a human?"

"Last time I checked...seriously you dragged me to wherever this is and you didn't even know what I am?"

She shrugged and sat on her haunches, not in the least perturbed about me pointing out her abduction. Whether this was some acid trip or not this was far to vibrant and lucid to not try and get answers from her. I could freak out about all this later when my brain catches up with the situation. Which should be pretty soon.

"Well, the thing is I was testing out some freeform conjuration magic. Any unicorn can follow directions out of a book, but for somepony like me I feel experimenting with the very fabric of magic and seeing how the components fit together is vital to create new magic and write new spell books for future generations. You are the first successful freeform conjuration spell I've done yet!"

I sat there buck ass naked, just nodding along to all of this with the most peculiar collection of emotions I had ever had.

I took a deep breath "So what I'm gathering here is you are some magical unicorn..."

"Alicorn Princess" she corrected

"Uh-huh... so you are whatever you just said, and you were...what, working with magic...magic is real now?"

She looked a little confused and then tapped her head with her hoof in what I would assume would be the equivalent of a face palm "Oh yes! I forgot the other human dimension hadn't had any magic in it either! Of course you would be unfamiliar with this. Maybe all human dimensions don't have magic?"

I waved my hand that wasn't occupied with keeping the shower curtain covering the family jewels and tried to get her attention "Focus sweetie, I need to get this answered here."

"Get what answered?"

"You said I was the first...conjuration spell that was successful...what happened to the other ones?"

"Some got stuck between dimensions, I think one of them got sucked into their dimensions tartarus....and another one was turned inside out upon reaching here"

"It was a mess to clean up" The lizard boy said with a disgusted expression.

As you could probably understand, my mind was filled with nothing but silent screams at that point. What the living fuck?! What was this thing!?

"So...you are telling me after you...dislocated and disemboweled people..."

"Well they weren't all people, some of them were tentacle monsters"

"...after you had all those setbacks....you continued doing what you were doing because...?"

"Science of course! Trial and error is vital to the scientific method" she said it in the most adorably terrifying way, I didn't know if I wanted to pinch her cheeks or just start running for the hills if this dimension even had any.

I tried to measure my words really carefully. She did say she accidentally turned someone inside out, and I'll be honest with you I didn't want to see how much truth was behind that statement given that she already displayed what I would assume to be magical ability out of that horn of hers. She was significantly smaller than me, like the size of a fairly big dog, but I had a feeling I was outclassed in every other respect.

"Still! The fact that I snagged not only a living being from another dimension in tact, but its another variant on the human species! That is amazing! These findings alone could fill entire volumes of data. Multiverse theory is practically cemented in fact now!" She was intoxicated with her success. To be honest, I was happy she was successful too; being dislocated from all reality didn't sound like anything I wanted to be apart of, neither did inverting in on myself.

"I'm going to hazard a guess that you don't have the way to send me back either do you...at least not without getting lost between realities or end up with my guts spraying all over the shower"

She blinked and thought about it before giving a nervous laugh "um...yeah, sorry. I guess that is a downside with freeform conjuration magic huh?"

"Guess you could say that..."

She didn't seem evil or anything. I mean sure she nonchalantly told me I could of been turned into a bloody mess while taking a shower this morning or stuck on an eternal trip down a 2001 space odyssey montage, but she didn't seem outright malicious.

An awkward silent moment fell between me and the alicorn princess. I coughed and said, "Well... I was kind of in the middle of a shower, do you um...alicorns or unicorns or whatever have water on your planet? I can breathe, so I assume the atmosphere is similar enough to have it."

She nodded enthusiastically "Sure! Unfortunately I can't let you out of your bubble until I acclimate you to our environment but I can summon up some water for you to finish up! I was actually planning on washing your body anyway for experiments but since you are sentient it helps speed up the process quite nicely!"

forget what I said about the outwardly malicious thing. I tried to stand up and ended up banging my head against the magical dome and plopped down on the crystal floor and tried to back up as far as I could in this field.

"Now you listen here, you aren't going to be experimenting on my body at all! You get me horse lady! You aren't strapping me on any table and looking at my 'fascinating insides' or anything like that thank you very much!"

"Calm down!" She yelled out to me, waving her hooves in a placating manner. "I'm not going to exploratory surgery on you. Even if I wanted to take a look at your physiology I know magic that can yield way more data than typical surgical procedures and are entirely non invasive."

"Says the horse that told me she turned someone inside out like she was talking about the weather!"

"We don't even know if that was somepony in the first place, as far as we know it could of been a typical animal from that dimension!"

My mind had finally caught up with my situation. It decided powering down to make sense of all this was in order. I flopped to the ground losing consciousness. Fainting along with squealing like a girl earlier, I wasn't earning any points on my man card any time soon.

She was trying to get my attention, but my brain just wasn't having it. It was on the nope train all the way to faints-ville and there was nothing I could do about it.

I hadn't even asked her her name yet.

Author's Note

This is going to be my first chapter story on this site.

Twilight is an experimental type, so I could see her trying to create her own spells for her own spellbooks that she would pass on in the future. Experimenting with new magic is likely to have consequences, especially with things like conjuration magic.

The main character is not going to remain nameless, he just hasn't exchanged names with Twilight yet.

I don't anticipate this becoming a clop, but its going to be pretty saucy. If I delve into anything weird I'll make sure to make the chapters optional and clearly marked.

Really Twilight?

Really Twilight?

"What do y'all mean y'all just pulled somepony from another reality?!" came a strong southern voice from somewhere in the distance. It took me a moment to get my bearings as I started to stir awake. I was suspended in the air now in some kind of ball with my arms and legs all curled up like I was an infant. It was a comfortable position, but claustrophobic at the same time since the floating sphere of solid energy didn't offer room for much else. If this was a chance of being some kind of drug induced hallucination was pretty much tossed out the window.

"Twi y'all can't just be doing that to folks, it just ain't right!" Whomever this was, she was speaking sense. I heard the sound of hooves echoing on crystal and two horse creatures walked into the room I was in, one of them being the purple one I had seen before and the other an orange one with a cowboy hat. It was still so surreal how bright and vibrant the colors of this place was.

"He's fine! Look, I had him all washed up and everything" I shuddered a bit and closed my legs together upon hearing that. She had cleaned my body while I was unconscious? Someone seriously needs to teach this lady about personal space and boundaries. I'm not sure I could exactly given I was being kept in what felt like a magical fish bowl, but still something needs to be done.

"Twi!" the southern pony yelled out in admonishment to the purple one, violently gesturing at my suspended form "Y'all got him sealed up in a ball like he's some kinda guppy! Let him out of there this instant!"

"I can't Applejack! For one thing we don't know if his physiology is holding any pathogens that are dangerous to us and we don't know if there are any bacteria or viruses among us that could make him deathly ill. I'm currently scanning him right now but until then his interaction with the world needs to be minimal"

"Hey why don't we talk like I'm actually in the room!" I yelled out in frustration. This was thoroughly humiliating regardless of how surreal this was. I was stark naked with no real way of covering my self floating in front of what are basically two women in a ball and I wasn't having any of it.

"Dear Celestia what was goin through your noggin when you did something like this Twilight?! Ah thought you were a smart filly!"

The purple horse's ears drooped a bit at the both of us yelling at her before she stomped her hooves in annoyance.

"What do you want me to say AJ?"

"Ah want you to at least put the poor guy down or something, he's clearly not a critter to be hogtied!"

Twilight let out an exasperated huff and lowered me down, expanding the field holding me and flattening the bottom on the ground so I could stand up, though I wasn't exactly inclined given I had no clothing. Instead I just set about covering the important parts. The orange pony came over and put a hoof on the field and gave me a genuine smile

"Don't worry there sugarcube, ah'll talk the crazy princess to get you out of there right quick"

"I am not crazy!" Twilight look increasingly disgruntled at this whole turn of events. The cowgirl mare turned around and advanced on the 'princess'

"Sugar you are lucky ah don't buck you in the face for somethin like this! What the hay were you thinking?"

To my surprise the purple ones lip started quivering as she sat on her haunches. Applejack sat beside my field and pointed at me like she was a parent scolding a child.

"Tell the...what are you again?" She looked over to me and asked that last part under her breath.

"Uh....human?"

"Tell the Human you are sorry!"

Twilight's eyes were watering now but she nodded "Okay...I'm sorry..." she seemed to think of something "...actually I haven't asked your name yet...What is your name?"

I sighed and scratched my head, trying to keep from freaking out. She really didn't seem bad, just incredibly, INCREDIBLY misguided in how she was supposed to use her magic.

"I'm Mike" I said leaning back against the magical field.

"I am Princess Twilight Sparkle and this is Applejack" her voice was slightly quavering but she was getting a hold of herself. Applejack tipped her hat towards me with a sympathetic smile

"Howdy, sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."

Twilight wiped a hoof over her eyes and spoke up "Listen, I'll prepare your return spell as soon as I can but I want to make sure its absolutely without error. This is going to take time. I haven't found any real incompatibilities with your body and our planet just yet, but I don't want to screw up and cause an epidemic or make you terribly ill."

"Yeah, I know, its too bad you can't make this thing like skin tight or something so I can just walk around in it until you figure that out"

The princess blinked, then blinked again. Cocking her head to the side she screwed up her face to a pensive expression before nodding in agreement of her own thoughts. "Actually I think I could manage that. It would have to be around your individual cells if you wanted to eat and not get sick... I don't see why not though... hold still a second"

She pointed her horn at me and I winced a little, a long thin line of magic went across my body from my feet to the my head. I felt lighter for some reason and my body had this light purple glow before fading away. The purple mare clapped her hooves in excitement.

"I did it! It shouldn't affect your native biomass and you'll be able to interact with our world for the most part. The only problem is it needs an anchor to stay charged, and since you aren't inherently magic you cannot serve as your own anchor. A pony will have to serve as it."

I pointed at Applejack "Could you attach this...anchor as you call it to her? I'm sure you are a nice lady"

"Mare" Applejack corrected

"I'm sure you are a nice mare I mean, but you did kinda kidnap me against my will and say you wanted to experiment on me." Applejack didn't look pleased with what I had requested, but she didn't fight it either. She had at least let me know that there was some sense in this strangely colored world and I wanted to stick to the closest thing resembling sanity in this place as hard as I could.

Twilight looked like she wanted to protest and was going too, but Applejack shot her a stern look and clammed her up real quick. I looked over at the Cowgirl pony "Are you sure you aren't the princess?"

She let out a short laugh at that. Twilight smiled ruefully too, the tension in the air seeming to disperse a little. "Alright, I'll tether the magic to Applejack. You have to stay within one hundred feet of her at all times or else it will start losing power, and I don't know what will happen if you are exposed to our world naked"

"Speaking of naked...I've really tried to keep cool about this, but humans aren't exactly used to walking about without clothing. I was taking a shower when you got me..."

"You pulled him from another dimension while he was taking a shower?" Applejack asked incredulously. Twilight groaned and flared her horn, connecting a tendril of magic between Applejack and myself.

"Yes yes I know I screwed up!" she huffed a bit before drawing up her hoof and pushing it away with an exhale to calm herself. "The connection has been made, if you want clothing I'm sure Rarity could help fit you with some attire. I'm going to go work on fixing this before I die of embarrassment" With that she walked off, lowering the field around me in the process.

"Twi isn't so bad once you get to know her, she sometimes just gets lost in her magic and does things she aught not do. If its any consolation I got plenty of room on my farm until she sorts out the return spell."

"Thanks, I think I'll like that, nice to meet you Applejack" I said appreciatively sticking out one of my free hands for a shake. She looked at it weirdly for a moment before raising her hoof to meet it. It kind of looked like a dog learning to shake for the first time.

Her eyes glanced over at where I was covering myself and she had a bit of a smirk "So ahm guessing you aren't used to haven your little colt flappen in the breeze then considering how steadfastly yer holden on to it. Its mighty adorable, Ah haven't seen somepony so self conscious before"

I reddened and coughed, getting to my feet and trying to get as much dignity out of this scenario as I could. Applejack whistled as I got to my full hight. "Well hogtie me and stick me over a fire you are a tall one aren't you! Plum near Twice my size standing up on your hind legs like that!" I smiled ruefully and scratched the back of my head with a free hand. I did not like the fact her head was at the same point as my waist one bit. This whole situation was just crazy.

"So this Rarity Pony makes clothes huh? I hope its more than just hats"

Applejack guffawed at that, a warm friendly laugh that both put me at ease and made me all the more uncomfortable. Still chuckling she gestured me to follow as we walked out of where ever this crystal room was.

The sooner I could get into some clothes, the better I'd feel about this whole situation.

Author's Note

Chapter two rolling down the bend. I highly doubt Twilight is going to give up on her scientific endeavors so soon, but she was thoroughly cowed by the honest pony. That's why honest pony is best pony. Will poor Mike get a pair of pants at least? Will Twi resist her urge to experiment further?

We'll see!

Walk of Shame

Walking to this Rarity's place felt like the most awkward streaking session ever conceived. It wasn't fun, there were no cops to chase me, nobody (or should I say nopony? nah nobody is fine) was even gawking about me being naked. The world certainly felt real to the soles of my feet as I walked on the ground. Applejack couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at my unsteady steps and wincing at the gravel digging into my soles and making my steps unsteady.

"You tender-hooved or something?"

"I usually wear shoes" I remarked as I shook off some particularly pesky rocks from my feet. They felt like they would in my world, and yet visually they looked wrong to my eyes. My own body seemed saturated in this weird sunlight as well. I didn't look quite as cartoon like as the world around me but there was certainly something odd about how the light played against my skin.

"Ahm assuming when you say shoes you mean something different than what we got. I doubt those things could take nails"

I must of blanched pretty bad because she looked like she was going to bust a gut laughing as she tapped my thigh. "Relax sugar cube, nopony's gonna to hurt ya little claws."

"Feet actually"

"You mean like the measurement?"

"Yeah...wait, how did you get that word for measurements if you guys don't have feet?"

"Ya know...ah don't righty have the answer to that" She said as she tapped her hoof to her chin in contemplation.

There was a squeal from somewhere behind me. "The horror! The horror!" I turned around to see three ponies fall over on their backs and start twitching. I could feel my face burn at that, this was so humiliating I swear.

"Ah don't worry about them sugarcube, those three'll keel over if the wind blows on em too hard. My brother Mac and I got some suspicions about them havin some fainting goat in their family tree if ya know what ah mean."

The walk of shame, even though it felt like it would take forever finally came to an end at the sight of a quaint looking if not kind of small building. It was a perfectly round structure colored in pale blues and pinks with poles evenly spaced around it. It was kind of garish and girly and seemed like something I couldn't quite put my finger on

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique sugarcube, home to one of the hardest working businessmares in fashion. She's opening up her third Story over in Manehattan believe it or not"

"Mane-hattan?" I asked incredulously "You're pulling my leg right now"

"What'cha mean?"

"Back home we have this city called Manhattan, its strange to hear another city in another dimension could have such a similar name"

"Ahm not too surprised there Mike. Your dimension isn't the only one us ponies heard about. Twilight went to another human dimension just a few months back."

"This is nuts"

"Speaking of nuts, lets get yours covered up" she quipped as she knocked on the door. Not going to lie that got me red in the face really quick with how flippantly she referred to my jewels. This was just way to much exposure in one day. I know they wouldn't be looking at me in any kind of sexual way cause of the whole different species thing but still it was far too much to handle.

"Hello and welcome to the GOOD HEAVENS!" Whatever the white pony was going to say as a greeting was cut off by her spotting my naked body towering over the both of them.

"Applejack dear, why is there a giant primate following you about?" the mare I assumed was Rarity asked the Cowpony

"Rarity, meet Mike, He's a human Twilight dun kidnapped from his home dimension"

"WHAT?! How scandalous! I would of thought her better than kidnapping."

"Ah think she was just in one of those moods with her magic, she seemed sorry enough about it. Our human friend over here apparently doesn't feel complete without some kinda garments covering his package, we figured you could help with that."

"Applejack!" I croaked out. She was lost in a fit of giggles again over my embarrassment.

Rarity rolled her eyes at her friend and gave me a once over sliding some glasses from inside the house onto her face. She had a clearly practiced eye for this kind of thing, but there was a glint of excitement there as well.

"This is a challenge, designing for a bipedal creature as tall as you is going to require a lot of fabric."

"The princess will be paying for this." Applejack added flatly

"I would assume so considering she's the reason he's here in the first place. Well come on in you two"

Applejack trotted in and I looked at the door. It wasn't so small that I couldn't fit, but the amount of maneuvering I had to do required me to sacrifice modesty for results. When I was finally inside I thankfully didn't have to stoop thanks to the ceiling being so far up.

"I see what you mean about his package dear, I imagine if stallions were wandering about on hind hooves all day their things would be flapping about like that as well"

"Could you guys not!" I said indignantly. I could not wait until I was finally dressed. Rarity was smirking but she had the decency not to laugh like her silently chuckling companion. Rarity's horn glowed, making me wince for a split second. the last few things that happened involving horns hadn't been all that swell. She paid it no mind and levitated me and measuring tape off the ground. She didn't look like she was straining to lift something twice her size at all, and that troubled me. Were all these ponies just capable of manhandling people like this? How many of them are there? What else can they do?

"Could you spread your arms please, I need to do measurements" She asked in a matter of fact tone. I nodded begrudgingly. I had already been pretty damn well exposed up to this point so just letting it all hang loose didn't seem to matter much now. Swiftly and precisely measuring tape was utilized and marked all over my body. I guess at this point I should just get used to having my face feel like its on fire cause who needs modesty am I right?

"I'm supposing you aren't looking for anything TOO fashionable, you seem like the practical sort like Applejack here"

"Mike sounds like a practical name to me" Applejack added now that she had regained her composure

"If you could make something to protect my feet too that would be great"

Rarity pondered that a moment "Hmm...I think I could work something out"

In about a half an hour Rarity had whipped up several garments at once. Seeing her work was rather amazing. Her mane was in a fairly beautiful style and the way here eyes shifted back and forth from what looked like the gradual manifestation of Pants, A long sleeve shirt, undergarments, socks, and cobbling together some shoes was impressive. I hadn't even given her designs, she had just figured out from the way my body was shaped what was supposed to go where.

Not going to lie, the fabric felt divine. The shirt was smooth as silk and a brilliant shade of red and the black pants and undergarments hugged to my body in the most comfortable way. The shoes slipped right on as well, not even requiring laces to stay snugly on my feet.

"Wow, you are a miracle worker Rarity" I said feeling the padding of the shoes how they felt like walking on clouds.

She made several dismissive noises in quick succession while waving a hoof "Please Darling, that was a purely function over style job, not even close to what I'm capable of. Still, working with such a vastly different body type than usual is an AMAZING SOURCE OF INSPIRATION!" She cooed out with excitement. "I can't wait to make more clothes for that body, Its going to be such a fun project!"

"And on the princess's tab too"

"But of Course Applejack, we got to make sure Twilight doesn't keep plucking innocent folk out of other dimensions like that. Ponies would start to talk!"

Needless to say, it was a godsend to have clothes covering my body once again. I could walk outside without a care and not worry about getting...

Something in my peripheral caught my attention as I stepped outside. I didn't know what it was until it was too late, and by that point a flying blue pony had smashed into me and cracked my ribs, entirely winding me.

"WHAT ARE YOU!? WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN RARITY'S SHOP!?" Barked out the rainbow maned pony on top of me, making me gasp in pain before Applejack forcefully got her off.

"Rainbow would you relax! He ain't a danger to nopony!"

me coughing up blood certainly affirmed that notion As the world started to grow foggy. It had splattered down my chin and onto the brand new shirt that was made for me. I think I could almost see where my rib cage had collapsed. That thing had hit me like a cannon ball. I didn't even stand a chance. What the hell were these ponies made out of?

"Whoa! Somepony get Twilight or a medical unicorn or Zecora, anypony that's closest! Quick! Hang on there sugarcube!"

Today was just going to be one of those days wasn't it. Laying prone on the ground, fighting to breathe at some surprise attack, blood sputtering out on my new clothes that I had walked all this way to get. Just...just a swell time indeed.

Author's Note

Chapter Three! In the much quoted turn of prhase "well that escalated quickly :rainbowderp: "

I can't blame Rainbow, you see a giant thing you've never seen before come out of your friends shop I'd imagine you'd get pretty hostile about it too. Course she didn't know humans were fragile little things in comparison to the average pegasi whom can bench a thousand pounds with their wings alone.

Hopefully poor old Mike gets medical attention in time though :fluttercry:

Veterinary Clinic of Ponyville

Veterinary Clinic of Ponyville

The next few hours had been a blur for me. Bright colors of this alien land kind of blended together as they fussed about my body. I heard snips of conversations in and out of consciousness but for the most part I had no idea what had happened. At least not until I was in a bed next to a bear (at least it looked like what this worlds version of a bear would look like) whom had its leg up in a cast. Any hope of all this being a dream pretty much went out the window for me.

"Um...Hi?" I said to the bear. That is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

The bear made a noise, and it seemed to acknowledge my existence, but I had a feeling it wasn't on the same level of intelligence as the ponies. It was docile enough, and I was clearly dazed on something because I wasn't hurting like I was when that flying pony struck me down. I looked down at my body -- so I wasn't too concerned. My chest was covered in bandages, but it didn't seem to look like the caved in disaster that it was before. A normal horse could kill a man in one swift kick from what I recalled, and even though these ponies were much smaller in comparison they packed at least as much of a punch as the ones I knew.

"Howdy there sugarcube, its good to see y'all are awake." I nearly jumped at the sudden voice. Applejack was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I thought it sweet of her, and then I ruefully remembered the whole stipulation about me having to stay within a hundred feet of her at all times. I guess that means she was stuck with me. Still it was nice of her to do it all the same, she could of said no and let him stay with Twilight for who knows what she was planning.

"Hi...I seem not to be dead...or at least I think I'm not. This isn't some kind of afterlife right?"

Applejack laughed "EeNope. This here is the Veterinary clinic of Ponyville."

"You...took me to the vet..." I deadpanned.

"Ah would assume a pony would have to go to a vet in your world if there were similar circumstances. Doctor ponies know how to treat ponies, Vets know how to handle everythin else."

"Makes sense....So how did you guys fix me up? I'm thankful and everything don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty sure that blue one punctured one of my lungs with my ribs."

"Rainbow didn't mean to hurt ya like she did. She saw a big creature coming out of Rarity's shop that she dun never seen in her life and she reacted on instinct. We have monsters attack Ponyville from time to time, it's just something us ponies have to deal with."

"So I look like a monster?" Real boost to the ego that was.

"Sugarcube, ah don't rightly know what you look like. Yer easy on the eyes for me, but ahm not everypony."

Was...was she flirting with me? What? Brain I need you to sober up from whatever drugs they got me on and give me an assessment on the situation. Other dimensional equines flirting is not computing right now.

"SURPRISE!!!"

I really need to stop jumping at sudden noises.

I turned around to see a pink pony with a mane that I swear was inflated bound into the room and onto my bed. This thing was going to be trouble. Her big eyes was staring right at me and her smile was broader than I think even these ponies could get them on a normal basis. This pony was screwing with my sense of reality in the worst way. Maybe the drugs were playing a role in this.

"HI THERE! I'M PINKIE PIE! I already know your name is Mike, Mike is such a nice name by the way, really fun to say, Mike Mike Mike, Its almost as fun as saying a bunch of other words I know!"

"Uh huh..." Good lord this pony could talk "Hi there Pinkie Pie....Its nice to meet you..." I reached out for a handshake.

To my shock she looked at her hoof, grew mother f*cking fingers I sh*t you not, and shook my hand rapidly up and down before putting her hoof down as same as it was before.

"How...." I looked to Applejack.

"The sooner you just accepting what Pinkie Pie does as a part of life, the sooner you can stop going crazy trying to figure it out. We've known her for years and have no clue what to make of her sometimes. Isn't that right Pinkie?"

"Yeppers! So I was going to through you a big old welcoming party when I heard you had come to town but then I heard Rainbow made you go all BLAGH" she made a face reminiscent of being smacked in the chest by a flying pony... I can't really describe it beyond that you are just going to have to trust me on this, "So I was like GASP" her whole body seemed to stretch and warp with her inhalation of breath. It was both terrifying and fascinating to watch, "and then I went about and gathered up party supplies so I could through you a 'Welcome To Ponyville sorry for breaking your ribs and kidnapping you Extravaganza!!"

"Sounds catchy." I quipped, causing Applejack to snort into her hoof in amusement.

"I KNOW RIGHT!" Pinkie squealed. She then look like she remembered something and whisked out of the room at a scary speed. She was like a living loony toons character, defying even the vague rules this reality seemed to have. Next moment I heard another pony arguing with her and saw the blue one from earlier, Rainbow I think her name was, being pushed into the room.

She rubbed her foreleg with her hoof and didn't look like she wanted to be there, but Rainbow took in a breath and said "Look, I didn't know what you were and I didn't know what was going on. I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I was just protecting my friends...what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry about...you know...almost killing you n'stuff..."

"No biggie....Well okay its kind of a biggie, I mean I did almost die apparently, but I forgive you. I'm not even supposed to be here in the first place."

"Awesome, put 'er there" She stuck out a hoof, and out of instinct I bumped it with my fist. That seemed to be what she was after.

"Twi! I said my piece, get your flank in here!" Rainbow yelled out to the door.

The princess looked like she had been through the ringer. Her mane was frazzled and she looked extremely stressed and puffy eyed. Her friends were looking at her with a mixture of contention and disappointment, save for Pinkie whom was hopping at the foot of my bed without a care in the world.

"Before you say anything..." She started. I raised my hand up.

"I've been ripped from my home dimension, made to walk about strangers I don't even know in the complete buff, which I'm sure you are aware is not something humans make a habit of doing, and I almost died from a misunderstanding with one of your friends..."

"I know..."

"Look Twilight, or Princess, or whatever, My body isn't made for this world. Like at all. If something like a moderately aggressive tackle can nearly kill me without immediate medical treatment, then it doesn't really matter if I'm within one hundred feet of Applejack or not, I'm going to die out here."

She sniffed and ran a hoof over her eyes before standing up straight, gulping as she tried to look as formal as possible.

"I know. I've wronged you, and for that I extend my deepest apologies. I've...been in talks with Princess Celestia... she's put out word to all of Equestria that you are to be treated with the utmost respect while you are here and she will be personally overseeing my efforts on devising you a way back home. She would be here right now but she is meeting with diplomats from Saddle Arabia."

I had no idea who this Princess Celestia was, but she sounded like she had a lot more authority than Twilight had, and she sounded like she wasn't exactly thrilled with what Twilight had done either.

"Thank you. I know you probably didn't mean anything malicious, your friends have assured me of that much."

"If there is any way I can help you all you have to do is ask." Twilight said earnestly.

"Is there...any way you could make it so I don't get injured like this again? I don't even know how you guys saved my life as it is."

Twilight's bloodshot eyes widened as she smiled, seemingly remembering something "Yes! Actually I do! The spell protecting you from this world works on the cellular level, I can modify it so that it augments the bonds between the cellular structures and increase your durability and physical capabilities nearly one thousand percent by my estimates. You would still need to be near Applejack, but it should buffer any unexpected blows from now on."

"Are...are you saying you can give me super strength?"

"It would be superior to your current capabilities yes, and it would help with your healing process. May I?"

I nodded and she pointed her horn at me. Next thing I knew that slightly light feeling I had when I first was given this spell increased many times over. I felt like a million bucks, even though my ribs were still tender. They had healed them alright, but they felt like they were JUST healed, like they could go back to being broken with a wrong move. My body stopped glowing purple after a moment I felt like I could just hop out of bed right there.

"If you'll excuse me, I have work to attend to..." Twilight said before turning around. Pinkie Pie rushed her and gave her a big hug.

"OOoh Twilight! I've made plenty of goofs in my day, all you gotta do is make it all better!"

"We've all forgiven you sugarcube, even Mike does, Y'all just needs to understand just cause you CAN do something with magic doesn't automatically mean y'all SHOULD do it."

"Princess Celestia said the same thing earlier." Twilight remarked meekly before waving goodbye to the group.

"Thanks again for the apology Twilight!" I yelled out after her. I waited a moment before asking, "So...Who's Princess Celestia?"

"She's the ruler of Equestria Darling." Rarity sounded off as she entered the room with a rack of clothes trailing behind her. She must of been busy.

"She raises the Sun! And her sister raises the Moon!" Pinkie added excitedly. Although as I was gathering from her, she did pretty much everything excitedly.

"Is...is Pinkie joking about that?" I asked Applejack, my go to voice of reason in this world.

"Eenope. She's raised the Sun for a thousand plus years now."

"She moves....a sun...with her magic..." What were these ponies limits exactly?

"And Luna raises the Moon!" Pinkie interjected.

I rubbed my head with my palms, "Why don't we circle back to this after my head stops being foggy."

"Awww....but I wanted to try some outfits out on you. I think you'd look dashing in this" Rarity flared out what was unmistakably a three piece suit. How she came up with the idea of a three piece suit for a human without ever seeing one was anybody's guess.

"Our patient needs his rest" A nurse pony came in and began ushering the colorful band of ponies out of the door save for Applejack.

"I'll try them on later!" I called out to Rarity who made an audible noise of excitement down the hall. Her passion for her craft was certainly admirable.

"If you need anything just let me know." The nurse pony said to me before leaving the room.

"They got her in from Canterlot, Celestia's orders. A real pro at restorative magic apparently." Applejack informed me as the mare left the room.

"Don't you have a farm you need to run though?" I asked her suddenly. I felt bad for keeping her away from her duties like this. She waved off a hoof.

"Don't you fret none, My family knows where Ahm at, plus ahm sure once yer healed up you'll be quite the help catching us up what with you bein taller than a Minotaur n'all."

I actually was looking forward to that. Testing out this new strength on some farm work after all the crazy outlandish things that had been going on sounded almost normal.

I nestled into the bed for a moment, letting comfortable silence fall between the two of us.

"So you think I'm easy on the eyes huh?"

"You hush." She quipped as she turned out the lights.

"I'm just checking, you know you're pretty easy on the eyes too..." What are you doing mouth. Stop that. We aren't even the same species for goodness sake.

"Ah said hush, get to sleepin ya goof" She didn't sound mad, in fact she I could almost hear a smile in that tone.

I don't know if I should be worried about this or not.

Author's Note

Do I smell the beginnings of ze romance?

We'll soon find out :ajsmug:

Day on the farm.

Day on the farm.

"Ah gotta admit, ya aint no good at bucking trees, but you make a mighty fine cart there Mike."

We had shown up to her farm early in the morning. At first the only thing I could think about was how blissfully light my body felt. Having a thousand percent increase in your physical capabilities by a magical purple pony princess (good lord I was having a weird week when that is a thing that can be said about it) makes you feel like a million dollars let me tell you. She had half jokingly threatened to whip out her lasso if I didn't stop wasting my energy hoping about like 'Pinkie Pie on a Sugar high.'

"I could try it again if you want." I said with a smirk, causing her to crack up for the umpteenth time that morning. Apple bucking as she called it was a sight to behold. She would turn around and rear her back legs and then slam the trunk with her hooves...Alright admittedly that doesn't sound impressive, but what happened after that hit is where the finesse lies. See the apples aren't just shook off the trees by the force of the blow, these things just fall into the buckets like she damn near aimed the things herself. Every time she did it, all the buckets would get filled to the brim, and the ones that didn't make it into the buckets were of questionable quality that she'd gauge if they were good enough for sale or not from there.

"How the heck do you do that?" I had said.

"Us earth pony's exert are magic through are hooves and body ya'see, when I buck it it sends....what in the hay are you doin?"

While she had been talking I had got on all fours as awkward as any human could. Her face was trying to decide on whether to be affronted at my lack of form or fall over in a fit of giggles over how dorky I probably looked. When I tried to kick the tree and ended up shaking it just a little before toppling over onto my back at the force I wasn't used to exerting she decided to go with the latter.

"What in the hay." Applejack breathed out between chuckles before attempting to compose herself "Ya'll are gonna be bad for productivity ah can just feel it in mah bones. Come along I think ah got something you can do instead of distractin an honest mare like mahself."

"Hey, anything I did to get a girl to laugh like that is a good thing in my book."

She gave an eyeroll at that, trying to get control of her smile as much as she could. All it ended up doing was making her muzzle scrunch and quiver as she led me to her barn. I could of swore I saw her cheeks rose up a bit. How that works with a pony's coat I have absolutely no clue.

After a few moments we were walking back to the fields and I had about a dozen sturdy rods held on my shoulders. Buckets filled with pounds and pounds of apples were placed on the notches I hadn't noticed on them, effectively making me AJ's cart as the day moved forward. If she had tried this the day before I probably would not of handled it as well as I could now. By the end of the morning I felt like I was lugging near my body wight in apples, and that meant I was lugging a lot MORE than my weight in apples given my magical enhancements.

"Y'all are liable ta be confused as an Appletree at this point there Mike." Remarked A.J as she led me over the barrels where they washed and stored them for sale like we had done several times now. She was a fast an efficient worker and she happily put me through my paces until Lunch had rolled around.

I've...neglected to talk about the food around here up to this point. There is a reason for that. The food is... eccentric lets put it like that. A lot of it just didn't exactly agree with me, even the stuff you think would like pies and cakes.

The thing is... its made by horses. Omnivorous horses whom have a widely different choice of dining than the ones back home, but lets just say hospital hay fries taste exactly as you think they do.

Still, out of everything in this world, or dimension rather, The Apple Family's cooking was the most palatable out of the bunch. They had sugar and syrup and flower and eggs, the stuff good eating is made from.

"Hey mister human guy, if yer a primate does that mean ya eat meat?" the red headed filly asked me over the table, causing me to choke on my fritter. I had wanted to avoid bringing up the whole enjoying a steak and ham as much as the next guy thing, especially given I had no idea what their stance was on that kind of thing.

"Applebloom! Don't go askin them kind of questions."

It seemed awkward question from the mouth of babes was something to be expected from every dimension.

"Well...uh... Applebloom... I do, but the animals back home are a lot different than the ones here, they aren't sapient..."

"What's sapient?"

"Ah think he means they don't think for themselves, they run on instinct like the chickens in our coop. Now go on and hurry yerself over to the barn, we got a lot of barrels of apples for y'all to wash."

"Yes Ma'am."

Big Mac was a nice guy. He was certainly bigger than the other ponies given his head was at my stomach instead of his sister whom was comfortably at my waist standing upright. We had decided to have an arm wrestling match over the table to see how far this strength enhancement went.

Lets just say that one thousand percent increase was still lacking by at least Big mac standards. I managed to budge him a little, but I think he was throwing me a bone before plopping my hand on the table with his hoof. He wasn't the gloating kind, but he seemed more relaxed with me being around his sister now that he knew he could probably wrestle the giant creature from another down if he needed too. He obviously trusted his sister to take care of herself, but at the same time I kind of respected the whole protective brother shtick.

Big Mac also made it more apparent that he and pretty much all of the ponies were nude. I mean It was already apparent that all ponies were something of a clothing optional society, but with Big Mac being a male he had things dangling between his legs that wasn't his tail. He was big for his size, but given how much taller I was I thankfully was packing more proverbial heat in that department. Given that I was walking about Ponyville just a day earlier trying not to show mine to every living soul, it was at least comforting to know that I didn't get embarrassed on ALL fronts.

The rest of the day had went by with a blur. I was pretty astounded to see how many apple trees we had actually cleared, although my body sure wasn't. It was worn out, and so was Applejack's from the look of her wiping off her brow with a hoof and nestling next to me against a tree, tossing me an apple in the process.

"We dun cleared a few days worth of applebuckin today. It really saves a hay of a lot of time not having to lug a cart back and forth from the barn every time like ah usually do. Yer a pretty big help there Mike."

"Hey if it weren't for you I'd probably be getting probed and prodded by Twilight right now. I'm happy to help."

"like ah said sugarcube, the filly got a lot to learn about how the world works. She's grown up under an Alicorn princess and had her nose stuffed in books most of her life. Her thoughts on how things aught to be done aren't always the best. One time she used this spell on a doll she had dubbed the 'want it need it' charm or somethin like that, Big Mac stll has that thing stowed away somewhere around here after that."

She absentmindedly rubbed her hoof on her neck with a bit of discomfort on her face showing in the setting sun. She did say she had gone through a few days worth of work with him, she must of worn herself sore.

"Come sit over here, I'm going to give you a backrub."

"Say what?" she looked a little alarmed at that.

I padded the patch of grass in front of me between my outstretched legs and gave her a smirk.

"You look like you are all knots back there and you told me you did way more than your share of work today. Let these fingers work their magic."

She stared at my wiggling digits in the light of the slowly setting sun and bit her lip. The inner struggle of whether or not to refuse me was plastered over her face. If I could read minds at that moment I'm sure it would of been hilarious to listen in on. Screwing up her face in an adorable scrunch and squeezing her eyes shut she finally said,

"A...Ah'll right but no funny business..."

Applejack's cheeks were really burning as she got up and sat down on her haunches between my legs. I started off slow, rubbing my thumbs into back and feeling out how her body was shaped. It was different than rubbing the back of a human, but I got into the groove of it and utilized the new found strength of mine to the advantage. Before five minutes were into it Applejack was making the cutest sighs you could imagine.

"Th...that...does feel good..."

"My mom was a masseuse, taught me everything I know." I said calmly, kneading into a batch of particularly tight muscles and working them into putty in my hands.

I could feel her gulp as I worked at her neck, the heat coming off of her face all the more apparent the closer I got to it. Her body was reacting to my hands on instinct, loving every second of the treatment obviously tried to avoid. I wondered if the pony world had spas. Considering Rarity's style and extremely well kept physique and coat it was probably the case.

"Ah ain't much for massages.... but then ah only had them done with hooves...this probably would go for quite a few bits down at the day spa..."

"Quite the compliment! Nice to know if I get stuck here I could probably make a decent living."

Before long her ability to speak was replaced by the most adorable moans and squeaks of contentment and perhaps a bit of pleasure. Not going to lie it got my face a bit warm listening to it all as I kneaded into her. I put my palms to work, watching her coat give to my ministrations. It felt really nice and soft even with all the work we had put in on the farm. It had the duel calming effects of petting and massaging, and before long her forelegs had given out and I was working on her over top of her as she nestled her head on top of her forehooves.

"MMmm....If y'all keep carryin on like that ah might fall asleep right here and now...." she mumbled. Her brain was starting to win over against her body whom was entirely content to be worked on by my hands. I had really got her blood flowing and her muscles relaxing.

"Ah think...we aughta stop..." she said in almost a whimper. She had to conjure up a lot of willpower to say that from the look on her flushed face.

I obliged her. She tentatively looked over her shoulder at me, and it was my turn to blush at that. She gave me warm smile and cocked an eyebrow as she got back up, pointing an hoof at my chest.

"Yer up to something," she said in mock accusation. I raised my hands up at her gaze and tried to keep an innocent face.

"I haven't a clue what you mean there, we are just a pony and human sitting after a day of hard work enjoying each other's company." I winked, " No funny business."

"Uh huh..." she dead panned before stretching out like a cat. She looked a lot more relaxed now at least when it came to her back.

"Come along sugarcube, we gotta get washed up and rest for tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am." I said bounding to my feet with ease. Even with how sore I was I barely felt like I weighed anything.

"So...how are we going to wash up and sleep if we can't be more than a hundred feet from eachother? "

"Ahm sure we'll figure somethin out..." She remarked with a swish of her blond tail.

"Now who's up to something?"

"You hush."

Author's Note

Behold. The magic of fingers. :ajsmug: