The ABCs of Harmonic Death

Chapters

B is for Box (Revised)
C is for Celluloid
D is for Dive-bomb
E is for Escape
F is for Failure
G is for Grey
H is for Haunted
I is for Intrepid
J is for Jump
K is for Kindle
L is for Lithium
M Is For Monster
A is for Anaphylaxis (Revised)

B is for Box (Revised)

It was a warm summer evening in Mareami, and Silver, a unicorn named for the color of her coat, lay in her bed reading a book. The moonlight from outside glistened on a diamond necklace she wore around her neck—the same necklace that gave her her cutie mark, which bore a resemblance to the jewelry she wore.

Crash!

Silver jumped as the sound of something crashing through a downstairs window disturbed her peace and quiet. What in Celestia’s name was that? she thought. Ever so slowly, Silver put the book down and got out of her bed. She opened her bedroom down and poked her head out into the hallway.

Silence.

Silver raised an eyebrow. “Is somepony down there?” She called out—against her better judgement.
“Hello?”

Once again, silence.

Might as well see what’s down here, she thought as she stepped out of her room and quickly made her way downstairs.

On her living room floor was a crudely wrapped brown package, several parts of which were torn.

Using her magic, Silver levitated the broken glass into a nearby garbage bin. Nothing can be worth having to repair a broken window, she thought. Especially not in Mareami.

She sighed and levitated the package over to herself and opened it.

Inside was a wooden box. It looked hoofmade, and had golden lining on its edges. At the top of the box was an engraved heart with the mark of the two sisters.

Silver looked at the box for a few moments. “Well, there’s usually something inside every box,” she said as she found a small keyhole. “I didn’t see a key inside that package,” she said to herself. Silver put a hoof to her chin and tapped it. Let’s see, she thought. Maybe… a hair clip!

With a smile, Silver ran to her room and found a small hair clip. This should do the trick, she thought. Running back downstairs, Silver walked up to the box again. She levitated the hair clip into the lock. “Open sesame!” she said with a smile.

To her surprise, the box didn’t open.

“Stubborn little guy, are we?”

The box said nothing back.

“I need to get out more often,” she said to herself. “At least then, ponies would be around to listen to me.” Silver let out a yawn. “Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even bothered to wonder where this thing came from,” she said to herself. “This thing looks so… normal.”

Silver shrugged and carried the box to a nearby closet. She placed it on a shelf, levitated some plastic and duct tape out, and covered the window. “I’ll get that window repaired tomorrow.” With that, she walked back upstairs and walked back into her bedroom.

Maybe somepony at the local jewelry store will know what the box is, she thought as she shut her bedroom door. Heck, maybe one of them made it.

With a small smile, Silver drifted off the sleep.

~~~

“Free me. Please,” a voice cried out in anguish.

Silver shot up in her bed. “Who said that?” she asked. “Show yourself!”

“Free me from this nightmare,” the voice cried out, now closer.

Silver frantically looked around her room. “I don’t care about what you want! I want to know who’s speaking now!”

Suddenly, Silver’s bedroom door swung open. A grey pegasus slowly staggered towards her. It bore a look of agony. Numerous slash and burn marks covered its frail body. Both of its wings were broken, and all of its feathers were missing.

“FREE ME…”

Silver, paralyzed with fear, opened her mouth and tried to scream, but nothing came out.

The pegasus drew closer and closer. It stared at Silver with pleading eyes. “Don’t make me go back to that place!” It cried out.

“G-go back where?” Silver asked.

That… box.

“W-wait, you mean the box I found?” Silver asked.

Suddenly, a low growl came from outside the doorway, and an invisible force yanked the pegasus back. “No! Please! I don’t want to go back!” it cried out as it was dragged backwards. The pegasus frantically tried to grab a hold of something. “Please, free me from this nightmare!”

Silver watched in horror as the pegasus disappeared from her bedroom, a look of terror and despair on its face.

Crash!

~~~

Silver’s eyes shot open. She sat upright—her heart racing—and frantically looked around her room.

The glow of the moon light illuminated Silver’s room. Her door was wide open, and the odor of something burning filled her unusually warm room.

Silver got out of bed and walked into her hallway. She illuminated her horn and walked towards her staircase. It’s like there’s a roaring fire all around me, she thought as she walked down her stairs. Even the hottest of days here aren’t this hot.

Downstairs, Silver walked into her living room.

The closet door had been blown off its hinges, and the box lay on the floor. The carpet around where it sat was burnt, and the stench of smoldering carpet filled the air.

Silver walked up to the box and glanced down at it. What in Celestia’s name do you hold? she wondered as her magic surrounded the box.

Please, let me out! a stallion cried out.

Silver dropped the box and held her head as dozens of voices filled her head, each echoing inside of it.

The pain never ceases… please, free me! a colt’s voice yelled

Silver fell to her floor and slammed her hooves against head. “Get out of my head!” she yelled. “Please!”

What did I do to deserve this?! A mare wailed, her voice raspy and dry.

Tears rolled down Silver’s face as she violently shook her head. “ENOUGH!” she cried out.

Don’t open the box! You will know only suffering and agony! a filly yelled.

Silver slowly stood up. Tears rolled down her face. “I won’t, just leave me alone!”

Slowly, the voices faded away. Silver held her head as it throbbed in agony. I must be losing it, she thought as she staggered into her kitchen. Hearing voices, seeing ghosts or something in my dreams. Silver levitated a bottle down from a cabinet and popped the cap off. At least there aren’t any bugs in my advil.

Silver walked back into her living room. she flopped onto her couch and closed her eyes. Before long, she fell asleep.

Oh, my head, Silver thought as she awoke the next morning. It feels like Celestia slammed an icicle through my skull. Slowly, she stood up and made her way into her kitchen. Maybe it’ll work this time, she thought as she took two advil. Whatever, I should just shower and then go out to the jewelry store. I’ll eat when this damned headache goes away.

Silver made her way upstairs and walked into her bathroom. A quick shower should help a bit, she thought as she turned her shower on, which caused steam to fill the room.

Silver stepped into her shower and quickly let out a content sigh as the warm water hit her body. “Ahhh… peace,” she said as she levitated a bar of soap to herself, and whistled a nameless tune as she washed up.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

“Huh?” Silver wondered aloud as she turned her attention to her bathroom door.

Creeeeeak

The bathroom slowly opened.

Silver’s heart raced. Fear coursed through her. Her horn lit up as she faced her shower door.

“Silver…”

A mare’s soft voice filled the air.

Silver wiped away some condensation on the door and covered her mouth with her hoof.

A few feet from the shower door stood a heavily scarred and burnt mare. Her eyes glowed a bright yellow, and her face bore an expression of sadness and anguish.

“Silveeeer…” the mare said, her voice full of pain.

“W-What do you want?”

Wham!

The mare lunged forward and slammed her two, charred hooves onto the screen to the door. “Save us, Silver,” the mare begged, its pleading eyes unblinking. “Please…”

BAM

The ghostly mare anxiously looked around. “No, please!” she begged, a look of terror on her face.

A loud growl came from outside of Silver’s bathroom. A dark shadow formed near the doorway as the mare was violently yanked backwards by an unseen force.

Bam!

Silver watched as the door slammed shut, and a cry of agony came from outside, followed by another loud growl.

Then, silence.

Silver’s heart raced. “What… what in Celestia’s name?” She asked herself as she shut the water off and opened the shower door.

The smell of burnt flesh and sulfur assaulted Silver’s senses. Her bathroom mat had been burnt, as had the tiles nearest to the door.

Silver gagged violently. She ran to the door and opened it.

Her bedroom was a mess. Two long claw marks stretched from the middle of the room towards her bedroom door. The odor of burnt flesh and sulfur was even stronger in the bedroom. Numerous portions of the carpet were burnt, and the outline of two enormous hoofprints were burnt at the entrance of the bedroom.

Silver coughed and ran out her bedroom door. A line of the carpet was seared away, as though something was dragged along it.

Silver raced down stairs and opened her front door. She ran outside and gasped for air. Her heart raced as she struggled to regain her senses. She turned around and looked inside her house, and noticed that the carpet on the stairway that lead upstairs had been burnt heavily, and it looked as though something had clawed wildly at it, as though it had tried to prevent someone from escaping.

“Howdy, Silver,” a nearby stallion said as he walked down the sidewalk. “How goes it this morning?”

Silver jumped at the sudden greeting. She turned around to see a brown coated unicorn stallion with a lock for a cutie mark. “Oh, hello Lock Picker,” Silver said softly. “What are you doing up so early?’

“I was on my way to the market when I saw you run out of your house,” Lock Picker he said as he looked over Silver. “What the hell happened to your house!?”

Silver shook the water off of her coat and sighed. “A box was thrown into my house the other night,” she said. “Ever since then, I’ve seen these ghostly ponies. They look like they’ve been tortured, and keep begging me to free them.”

“Uhh… come again?” Lock asked, a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I… there are ghosts…” Silver let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. I’ll explain later. For now, maybe you can help me.”

Lock Picker raised an eyebrow. “What do you want me to do?”

Silver sighed and said, “I want you to try to open it.”

“You claim there are tortured spirits, and you want me to open it?” Lock asked with a slight frown. “And you aren’t concerned that you’ll, I dunno, unleash some sort of chaotic horror unto Equestria? Personally, I think we’ve had more than enough of those as of late.”

“Well, I want you to at least see why I can’t seem to open it,” Silver said. “I tried a hairpin and even my magic, but it filled my head with voices,” she said. “I can still hear them echoing,” she said as she shivered.

“Uh-huh…” Lock Picker thought to himself for a few seconds before he said, “Alright, fine. I’ll look at this just to satisfy my curiosity.”

“Fine,” Silver said. She walked back inside, Lock Picker right behind her, and shut the front door.

“Sweet Celestia!” Lock Picker said as he lay his eyes on the living room. “What in the world happened here?”

A line of carpet had been heavily burnt, as had the curtains where the window had been shattered. A few enormous hoofprints were embedded into the carpet, and they went to and from the box,which still lay on the floor and at which a line of the burnt carpet ended. The carpet that surrounded it, however, was scorched away entirely, the wood underneath it being scarred by whatever had burnt the other things.

Behind it, the wall was cracked, as though something had struck it with immense force, and several claw marks covered it, each one several inches deep.

Lock Picker’s eyes widened in awe. “What in the world?” he said softly. “I… I don’t…” Lock Picker walked up to one of the hoofprints—which looked to be three times the size of his own—and raised a hoof over one. “Oh, sweet Celestia!” he screamed as he fell backwards. “That’s hotter than a broiler!”

Silver ran up to her friend’s side, only to flinch at the increasing heat in her living room. She grabbed Lock Breaker by the mane and pulled him backwards into the hall. “Are you hurt?” she asked as she rested him up against a wall.

Lock Breaker looked at his right hoof. “Yeah, but not too terribly,” he said, surprised. “I’m honestly shocked I still have it, though. That was brutally hot.”

Silver shook her head. “What do I do?” she asked as she sat down in her stomach and buried her face between her forelegs.

“Well, you could always ask one of the princesses to investigate it,” Lock said. “It’s a long shot, but I bet princess Twilight would be interested. Or, you could try to bury it, bash it with a giant hammer, set it ablaze—though I feel it’d just consume that.”

Silver raised her head. “Do you really think that princess Twilight would come down to Mareami just to investigate some creepy old box?” she asked. “I mean, this is something more along the lines of the supernatural, not friendship or science related.”

“I don’t see why she’d ignore this,” Lock Breaker replied. “For all we know, whatever’s in it could be a great to threat Equestria.” He stood up and stretched out. “Besides, whoever threw it into your house clearly didn’t want it anymore for a reason.”

“I guess it’s worth a shot,” Silver said as she sat up. She looked at the room that she once considered her living room and let out a sad sigh. “I just want this nightmare to end.”

Lock Picker walked over to Silver and gave her a comforting hug. “Look, if it’ll make you feel any better, what if I stay with you?” he asked. “At least then, if anything happens, I can back up your statements.”

Silver looked up at her friend and smiled. “I’d love that,” she said. As she went to hug him again, a loud bang came from her kitchen, followed by the sound of pots and pans being thrown around. The duo broke away from their embrace ran into the kitchen in time to a large pot get thrown in their direction.

“Holy crap!” Lock Picker said as he and Silver ducked down. The pot crashed into the wall behind them, which was followed by a low growl. “I, uh, don’t suppose it’s too late to maybe go somewhere that’s not being inhabited by something really pissed off—and no doubt really big.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea “ Silver said. “How about your place?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Lock replied.

Silver nodded and galloped towards the front door—Lock Picker following close behind. The two ran Lock’s house and entered, both out of breath and feeling like they’d gone out of their minds.

“So… what now?” Lock asked as he slouched against a wall. “You going to burn your house down? Bury it? Notify the police that you’ve just been evicted by an evil five inch by five inch wooden box?”

“No, I’ll try to get rid of the damn thing,” Silver said. “Maybe the local library has something on the history of this thing.”

Lock tilted his head. “Silver, don’t you think it’d be better to, I dunno, break it?”

Silver shot her friend a glare. “Ah, yes, let me try to break the thing that filled my head with the voices of the damned,” she said sardonically. “Using a bat or hammer surely wouldn’t do something terrible—like cause the instrument to burst into flames and turn me into a unicorn bonfire!”

“Okay, you’ve made your point,” Lock said with a glare of his own. “Let’s go to the library before I go open that damned thing.”

“Do that,” Silver said as she stood up and exited the house, “and I’m going to stuff you inside it.”

“How would you do that exactly?” Lock asked as he stood up and followed his friend; locking the door behind him.

“I’d find a way!” Silver said as she galloped to her house. As quickly as possible, she ran up to her room and grabbed a purse. Okay, wallet, library card, house keys… She turned around and made her way back outside,

“Here I thought the box was calling you,” Lock said with a smirk.

“Enough joking,” Silver growled as she locked her front door. “Let’s just go before I forcibly pry that stupid box open and burn it.”

Lock nodded and the duo made their way to the library.

Hours.

It had been hours since the two friends had arrived at the library. They’d gone through dozens of books of all sizes, reading page after page about all sorts of ghosts, demons, and ancient spirits.

“Have you found anything?” Lock asked in a hush—but still audibly frustrated—tone.

“I… think so,” Silver said as she moved over towards Lock, and away from the small fortress of books she’d made. “It says here there was once a demon that Celestia and Luna’s parents feared greatly—one that feasted on the souls of those foolish enough to try and summon him from Tartarus.

“But one day, using every ounce of their magic, the princesses’ parents banished the demon to an enchanted box, but in the process unwittingly trapped the demons many victims in there with it for all eternity. Nonetheless, they buried the box in an undisclosed location, hopeful nopony would ever find it.”

Lock nodded. “Yes, very fascinating story,” he said. “Tell me how you’re going to get rid of the super scary demon-box-thing.”

Silver flipped the page and looked it over. “It says there are two ways to get rid of it,” she said. “The first is to, well, die. The second is to sacrifice a family member or friend.”

“How wonderful,” Lock grumbled. “To save one’s hide, you must reduce a loved one to the role of a sacrificial lamb.”

Silver let out a heavy, uneasy sigh and buried her face into her forelegs. “I can’t do that…”

Lock wrapped a leg around his friend as a tears slowly slid down from his eyes. “I’m sorry, Silver.”

Silver looked at Lock Picker with a sorrowful expression and watery eyes. “I just wanted this nightmare to end,” she said weakly. “It can’t end like this… right?”

Lock Picker shook his head. “It won’t,” he said. “I don’t know how, but I’ll make sure it won’t.”

Silver gave a small smile and shut her eyes. “Thank you,” she said as a few tears rolled down her face.

Lock smiled and hugged his friend. “How about we get dinner on the way home,” he asked as he broke away from the hug and stood up.

Silver nodded and the duo levitated the books away before they both walked towards the front entrance.

A while later, Silver and Lock Picker arrived back at the latter’s house. “Would you like to come in?” Lock asked; a look of uncertainty on his face.

Silver nodded and slowly trotted up to her friend’s side. “Do you still think the princesses could do anything to help?” she asked as she entered the home.

“Silver, you asked me that four times on the way back,” Lock answered with a hint of irritation in his voice. “The answer is the same as it was the past four times: I don’t know. I’m not a wizard, nor am I psychic.”

“Sorry,” Silver replied sheepishly as she walked into the living room and sat on the couch. “I’ll be quiet now.”

Lock let out a heavy sigh and took a seat on a recliner chair. There has to be something I can do to help, he thought as he stared blankly at the ceiling; the sound of the nearby clock ticking filling the room, along with the faint whimpering from Silver.

Silver let out an uneasy sigh. “Do you think there’s an unwritten way to get rid of the box?” she asked as she looked up from a pillow, her eyes red from crying. “Maybe… maybe there’s a reason the box was thrown into my house.”

Lock raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting that we could simply throw it into someone’s house and you’d be free?”

Silver nodded. “Maybe if I were to throw it into somepony house, I could rid myself of the box forever.”

Lock rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I can’t see that working,” he said. “Most curses follow the person they’re put up. If anything, this thing would just find its way back to you, through Tartarus or highwater.”

“It’s worth a shot though!” Silver protested. “I mean, it’s that or I sacrifice you.”

“Either one will result in jail time,” Lock retorted. “Look, how about, tomorrow, we go pay a visit to Ponyville. Maybe Twilight will have a book in her castle on this thing and we can just end it then and there.”

Silver let out a sigh. “Fine,” she groaned. “For now, I’m going to sleep…”

Lock nodded and walked over to a closet. “Here,” he said as he levitated over two pillows and a blanket. “If you need anything, I’ll be in my bedroom.”

“I’ll… hopefully be fine,” Silver replied with a half-smile. “Thanks though.” With that, she shut her eyes and, after a bit, fell fast asleep.

~~~

Silver found herself back in her home. The air was hot, as though a raging fire burned all around her. As she looked around, Silver saw a horrific sight. Decayed walls, rotted bones, and countless claw marks—a few of which were so deep that they broke through to the other side of the wall, which revealed a dark, purple smoke. It moved ever so slightly as she stared at it.

Silver frantically looked around the room, which had an intense odor—like rotten flesh—emitting from all directions. She covered her nose and slowly inched forward, the floor creaking with her every step, and eventually made her way towards a coffee table, which was in pristine condition. On it was a knife, and a clock, with both hands pointed to at the ‘five’.

Silver raised an eyebrow. “O-kay,” she said to herself. She levitated the knife up and looked around the room, which was largely empty. She let out a sigh and walked towards the doorway, which lead to a long, winding staircase. Numerous holes lined the wall leading up—as though something had punched through it.

Well, guess the only way is up, Silver thought as she began the trip up.

“Silver…” a low voice said.

Silver felt her blood run cold. The hair on her back stood up as she looked around herself slowly. “Who said that?” she asked.

“Why not look outside?”

Silver slowly walked to a nearby hole and peered outside to see more of the purple smoke extended what looked to be thousands of feet up and down. “I don’t…” Silver felt her heart sink as the smoke rose up and revealed a hand, which rested atop the building, and shook it violently. She staggered backwards and slid down the wall as a large, bright yellow eye peered inside.

“So nice to finally see you, Silver, the being said, its voice echoing throughout the stairway. “Why don’t you continue your journey up? There’s a reward for you up there.

“I… what…?”

The being lowered its hand and slammed it through the wall. “Don’t test my patience, Silver. I do not wish to answer questions.

Silver ran up the stairway as the air around grew hotter and hotter. “Just a little bit longer, Silver,” the being’s voice echoed. “I can’t wait…”

After a few minutes of running, Silver arrived at a wrought iron door, which swung open and revealed a spotless, elegant, and kitchen. The walls were ivory colored, and the counters were made of diamond, and shined with the radiance of the sun. The drapes were sapphire colored, and swayed as though a breeze blew against them.

“About time…”

The stairway behind Silver was ripped away by the enormous hand. “Sweet Celestia!” Silver screamed as the hand rested inside the kitchen. It swiped away the right side the kitchen before it rose up.

“Time for that reward.”

Silver looked up to see the colossal hand come slamming down. The floor below her was obliterated. Chunks of wall were turned into shrapnel, which were pelted against Silver, as though they were being hurled at her by an unseen force, before she began to fall.

Far.

For several brutal minutes of ever increasing heat searing against her body, Silver fell. The world around her was little more than a haze of smoke and darkness, until she landed on a large, brown rock with a sickening crunch. Her body was broken and bruised. She looked up and felt an unimaginable amount of fear course through her body.

A colossal demon masked in unseen shadow—far larger than anything she’d ever seen before—or even heard of—loomed mere inches from her. It stretched out an arm and wrapped a hand around her broken body as Silver attempted to let out a scream, but let out little more than a raspy, dry heave

“Very soon, Silver,” a voice boomed. “You’ll be here—forever.”

~~~

Silver’s eyes shot open. She was back in Lock Breaker’s living room, though the world around her looked as though it’d be fused with a kaleidoscope. Every which way Silver looked, the world around her changed; bending and twisting in ways that should otherwise be possible.

Without any warning, Silver felt her legs start to move forward. Despite the world’s incoherent layout, it seemed to be superficial—as though Discord had done the decor for the house.

“W-What’s going on?” Silver asked as she felt herself unlock the front door.

“We’re going for a little walk, Silver,” the being’s voice boomed inside her head. “Now, come with me, won’t you? I’d love to see the inside of your house when I’m not having to get escapees.”

Silver exited her friend’s abode and admired the outside world, which looked equally as peculiar and trippy as Lock’s house. However, her admiration for the ever changing designs was short lived as she felt herself jerk forward.

“Enough sightseeing, Silver! the voice growled as Silver fell face first into Lock’s lawn. “Any longer and I’ll burn your insides to ash.”

With a gulp, made her way towards her home. “What is this place?” she asked as she unlocked her front door.

“It’s how I see the world from inside my prison,” the voice boomed as Silver stepped into her home. “I, however, am currently in possession of your body. And somehow, this is less comfortable than that accursed place.”

“Wait, so-” Before Silver could finish her sentence, she was jerked towards the box, which still lay in her living room. Around it was a dark-purple aura. From it, she could hear the same screams and cries of anguish she heard when she attempted to levitate it.

“You’re giving that as a gift,” the voice said. “Go on. Don’t be shy.”

Before Silver could even retort, she levitated the box up, which once again filled her head with the horrific, agonizing screams of the trapped souls.

As Silver stood gritting her teeth, she felt a leg snap towards her door.

“I’m in no mood to wait, Silver! Besides, far worse pain awaits you after this!”

Despite her best efforts to resist the entity’s control, Silver felt her body move towards the door and back to Lock’s. With what little strength she had left, she hurled the box through the window before she collapsed to the ground as tears streamed down her face.

“I await you in paradise, Silver.”

~~~

Silver awoke on a couch. A candle flickered and danced near her as she looked around. “Hello?” she called out. “Lock?”

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” the being said. “Allow me to finally introduce myself: I am trapped inside that box you have,” the being said as the back door swirled. “And I want to show you something.”

Silver’s eyes shot open in fear. “H-hey, what are you doing?” she asked as she was dragged towards the portal began unseen force. “Answer me!”

The being chuckled. “Beauty awaits you,” it said as the room shook.

Silver’s vision blurred for a few seconds. When it cleared, she found herself in a long hallway. Torches lined the walls, each of the flames roared violently. The floor was metallic, rusted, and brutally hot. The wails and cries of ponies filled the air, each filled with anguish and despair.

Silver hissed in pain from the heat as she sweat profusely. Slowly. she walked down the hallway. “S-so… w-where am I?” She asked through her hisses and whimpers of pain.

“My domain,” the being said. “The box you happen to be in possession of.”

“Just what are you?” Silver asked as she began to gallop down the hallway, her breathing increasing rapidly.

“I am something even the princesses fear greatly. I am from the darkest and hottest depths of Tartarus, the being bellowed. “You’re kind have called me by many names over many life times. You, however, may simply call me ‘Verthanil’.”

Silver stopped galloping and attempted to catch her breath, her hooves burning from the intense heat. “How… how come I’ve never heard of you?” she asked.

“I have been in this box ever since your princesses were but fillies,” Verthanil said. “I now reside in this box, waiting for the day that a soul frees me.

“What… what makes you think I will free you?!”

“I don’t think you will, Verthanil said. “In fact, I know you won’t. That doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with you, though.”

“Listen, I… I just want to live my life.” Silver staggered forward, her vision blurred and her throat dry.

“You can live a whole new life,” Verthanil said softly. “In my domain.”

A large shadow appeared over Silver. She looked up to see a colossal arm loom over her. She slowly backed away as a dark purple aura covered the floor around her. Slowly, the floor in front of her vanished, revealing a monstrous inferno below, full of anguished screams and cries for help.

“Come, Silver,” Verthanil said as the floor below the mare vanished. Silver fell into the gaping chasm, and into the roaring inferno. “Your friends will be joining you soon enough.

~~~

Meanwhile, Lock Breaker’s eyes shot open as the sound of a loud CRASH filled the air.

He sat up and, without a word, levitated over a bat. He listened closely, but heard nothing. He got out of bed and exited his bedroom.

Once again, silence.

Slowly, he walked downstairs and cautiously entered the hallway. To his horror, a line of carpet was scorched away, and his front door—while closed shut—was unlocked.

He gulped and turned his head towards to his living room.

His living room was a disheveled mess. The carpet was burnt away—along with most of his furniture. The pillows and blanket he’d given to Silver were shredded—as though a rabid animal had attacked them.

A sole single window above his now destroyed recliner had been shattered. From it, the light of the moon illuminated the scene before him—like a scene straight out of an opera.

However, one thing above all else caught the stallion’s eyes. It was rested on now destroyed couch which his friend had once slept on.

A small, wooden box.

Lock began to laugh hysterically as a twisted smile formed on his face. “Looks like you were kinda right, Silver,” he said as he fell onto his back. “You did have to share the love with another pony!”

Author's Note

Tell me what you thought of this chapter! It'd mean a lot!

C is for Celluloid

Author's Note

A special thanks to NameGoesHere for becoming this stories editor! :pinkiehappy:

C is for Celluloid

A unicorn mare was walking around her living room. A knife levitated in front of her. As she rounded a corner, an earth pony wearing a dark cloak leaped out at her and tried to stab her. The mare pushed her attacker away and tried to stab them. The other pony skillfully dodged and charged into the mare, causing her to lose her balance and fall down. The mysterious earth pony walked over and loomed over the unicorn. The unicorn opened her mouth, but faltered what she was going to say. “Umm... Oops?” She said; blushing slightly.

“Cut!” Came a voice. Both mares looked towards its source. Standing near a camera was a unicorn stallion with a navy blue coat, a dark brown mane, and cutie mark of a film reel. “Arlene,” the stallion began, “we’ve done this half a dozen times.”

Arlene looked down at her hooves. “Sorry, Cooper,” she said. “I just get too scared to remember my lines.”

Cooper facehoofed and stormed out of the studio set, grabbing a cigarette from a nearby table on his way out.

Arlene let out a sigh. The earth pony walked up next to her and gave her a hug. “Thanks, Silvia,” said Arlene.

Meanwhile, Cooper stood in the studio lot. He levitated the cigarette into his mouth and lit it with his magic. Taking a drag of it, he began to think to himself. ”Amateur, can’t get something as simple as ‘No, please, don’t!’ correct.”

He exhaled and started to pace around a little. ”Yeah, but she’s a rookie actor. Can you blame her?” He put a hoof up to his chin. ”I guess not.” He took another drag and could feel himself calm down. ”Maybe I was too harsh on her. I just wish she’d get her line correct.” Cooper exhaled again and frowned slightly.

As he stood there, thinking over his actions, the door behind him opened. Cooper swung around and saw the producer who’d been assigned to oversee production exit the building. “Cooper!” He yelled.

Cooper put his cigarette out and faced the producer. “What do you want, Broker?” He asked.

Broker, an earth pony stallion with a dark brown coat and three bits for a cutie mark, stared at Cooper for a moment before speaking. “Cooper, you’re a talented young stallion,” he began, “but watch your temper. I know this was only your first time losing it, but don’t let it happen again.”

Cooper smiled at Broker. “I know,” he said. “I just wish Arlene wouldn’t forget her lines so often.” He shook his head. “It’s beyond frustrating.”
“Cooper, mistakes will always happen,” Broker said. “Be they professional actors, like Silvia, or rookies, like Arlene.” Broker wrapped a foreleg around Cooper. “Now come on, let’s get back to work. It’s only the fifth day of filming.”

Cooper smiled slightly. “Yeah, you’re right.” Using his magic, Cooper opened up the door to the studio and started to walk back in. Turning his head, Cooper smiled at Broker. “Thanks, Broker,” he said.

Broker smiled back and followed Cooper back inside.

Cooper walked back up to camera. Nearby was the movies script. He started to read over the scene to refresh his memory. ”Okay, Arlene is in her home. Silvia jumps out. Silvia almost kills her. Got it.”

Meanwhile, Arlene and Silvia were practicing their lines. “Now remember, Arlene,” Silvia said. “You’re supposed to say ‘No, please, don’t!’.”

Arlene smiled. “I think I’ve got it!” She exclaimed. Silvia giggled to herself and Arlene ran back over to the set and got into position. Silvia trotted back over.

“Okay,” Cooper said, “take seven!” He yelled. Cooper watched as, finally, Arlene got her lines
correctly. A smile formed on his face. Finally, they could go onto the next scene.

Back at his apartment, Cooper laid on his bed. ”Living a few blocks from the set pays off each night,” he thought to himself as he looked out at the starry night sky. He turned his head to a dresser drawer and levitated over a journal. A pencil was tucked into the binder. Ever since filming began, he’d begun writing down his daily experiences. He flipped a few pages and wrote down.

A few minutes later, he shut the journal and placed it back on the dresser drawer. He laid back and quickly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Cooper woke up feeling chipper. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, and as it warmed up, looked in the mirror. “Okay, today, we’ll get more filmed, and we’ll be efficient about it. No walking out during filming,” he said to himself. The air was getting heavy from the hot water. Cooper entered the shower and started to hum a joyful tune.

After a relaxing shower, Cooper quickly dried off and went downstairs. He made himself some pancakes and looked at a nearby clock. ”Only six-fifteen. Making good time,” he thought to himself. ”Still, it’d be nice to get there early and look over today’s shoot.” Cooper quickly finished the last pancake and walked to the front door. He put on a jacket and looked into his living room. He smiled and took a packet of cigarettes from a nearby bookshelf, levitating them into the right pocket. With his preparations complete, he walked to the set.

The outside air was chilly and the sky was cloud free. Cooper smiled and began his walk to the set, whistling to the whole way.

Upon arrival, Cooper noticed Broker outside, smoking a cigarette. “You’re here early,” Broker said. “What’s so special about today?”

“I wanted to look over what we’re going to shoot today so I could prepare.” Cooper levitated the packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and lit one, taking a long drag of it. “What are you doing on set so early? Don’t have you have fancy producer stuff to do?” He jokingly asked.

Broker chuckled. “Not right now.” Broker put his cigarette out and began to walk into the studio set. “Don’t be too long, though. Shooting starts in thirty minutes.”

Cooper nodded and finished his cigarette. He put it out and walked into the studio. He made his way over to the script that was set on a table. ”Okay, today we shoot a scene invoking Arlene attending a funeral and a big fight scene in a suburban home. Shouldn’t be too difficult,” Cooper thought to himself.

“Places, everypony!” Cooper yelled. Arlene, Silvia, and other crew members got in place for the first scene of the day. It was a funeral scene for a friend of Arlene’s who’d died earlier in the film. Several extras were also on set. “And... Action!” Cooper yelled.

Arlene and the extras approached a casket that had been placed on the set. She approached the casket and placed a hoof on it. Looking down, she shed a tear. ”Okay, good job, Arlene,” Cooper thought to himself as he watched the actress grieve near the casket. ”These extras are great, though. I’ll have to commend the casting crew.” Cooper smiled and yelled, “Cut!”

Cooper clapped his hooves together. “Excellent job, everypony,” he said with a smile. “Now, let’s do another two ta-” before he could finish, a ceiling light exploded. Then another. The cast and crew all flinched from the sudden noise and sparks.

“Evacuate!” A crew member shouted as he ran to the door. The whole building poured out into the lot. They all looked at the building, talking to one another.
Cooper turned to Broker. “Faulty maintenance?” He asked. Broker shrugged and walked off to get an electrical engineer.

A few hours later, the power had been restored. The cast and crew had decided to play various games as they waited. Cooper on the other hand found himself reading a book on the founding of Ponywood. As he was reading, Broker walked over. “So, we’re going to have to move production to a new set,” Broker whispered.
Cooper groaned “Why, exactly?”

Broker sighed. “While the power’s been restored, they want make sure there’s nothing else wrong with the set,” he said. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

Cooper let out a sigh. “Yeah, but it’s going to take us a while to rebuild. Can’t we just delay production or something?’

Broker raised his eyebrow at Cooper and then smirked. “Nope.”

Cooper rolled his eyes. “Okay then,” he said. “What’s your plan?”

Broker put his hoof to his chin. “Well, we can move everything out and then disassemble it,” he said. “Or we can disassemble it inside. Your choice here.”

Cooper thought to himself for a bit. “Let’s disassemble everything and then bring it out,” he said.

Broker nodded and walked over to the rest of the crew.

It was a lengthy process, but after several hours of work, the sets and equipment had gotten out. “Hey Broker, I’m going to bring the film over to the new set, okay?” Cooper said.

Broker nodded as he went to speak to the maintenance crew.

Cooper held the film in a bag that he wrapped around himself. He started to whistle a happy tune to himself as he made his way across the lot.

A few minutes later, Cooper arrived outside the set. He placed the bag on the ground and sighed heavily. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. By now, the moon was high in the sky. ”So much for a productive shooting day.” Cooper thought to himself as he levitated a cigarette out of his jacket pocket. He lit the cigarette and took a drag. A few embers fell off of the cigarette and onto the bag. The young director noticed and levitated it towards the set door. He exhaled and turned his attention back towards the bag. ”Wait... didn’t Broker tell me something about this stuff?” he thought.

A few days before filming.
“Now, Cooper,” Broker said, “this stuff is a pain in the flank to make.” Broker pointed to a roll of film in front of Cooper. “It’s also really expensive to make, so don’t damage it. Understand? We don’t want to go over budget.”

Cooper nodded. “Just one question: What’s so special about the film?”

Broker facehoofed. “Cooper, were you even listening to me?” Broker asked with a hint of aggravation. He let out a sigh before speaking again. “Look, just don’t damage the film.” he said. “Oh, and I know you smoke. So do not, under any circumstances, smoke near it. I can’t stress that enough!”

Cooper nodded again. “Will do, Broker!”

Cooper’s eyes widened. He put the cigarette out and ran over to bag. He inspected the film and let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank Celestia,” he said. None of the embers had landed on the film.

Meanwhile, Broker looked at the numerous disassembled set pieces. “Time to start bringing them over to the set pieces,” he said to himself. He walked over to a cart containing various arts and crafts materials. A few crew members wrapped a harness around Broker, who began to
walk to the new set.

A few minutes later, Broker arrived at the set. “Hey Coope-” Broker’s eyes immediately landed on a cigarette. His eyes darted towards Cooper, who was still kneeling next to the bag containing the film. Broker undid his harness. He galloped up to Cooper and stared directly into his eyes. “Is that film damaged?!” he yelled.

Cooper gulped. “N-No, it isn’t,” he whimpered. “I swear, I checked every bit of it!” Cooper was overwhelmed by fear. He’d never seen Broker angry. The producers eyes were filled with fury.

Broker backed away and stamped his right forehoof. “I should fire you for being so reckless,” he said, still aggravated. “You could’ve destroyed the film. Or even gotten yourself killed..”

Broker turned around and looked at Cooper. “But, I won’t. It was hard enough getting this movie together. It was even harder to get a director who was willing to work with the material given to them.”

“Th-Thank you,” Cooper said, still shaken from Broker’s outburst. “Want me to help you with what you brought here?”

Broker took a deep breath. He seemed noticeably calmer than he was before. “You bring that in. I’ll head back to the other set and bring more over. Hopefully, we can resume filming in a day or two.” Broker galloped back to the other set.

Cooper started to levitate the various arts and crafts materials into the new set. ”In hindsight,” Cooper thought, ”it might’ve been wise to ask him where I should place the film.” Cooper placed the materials near a wall. He repeated the process until Broker returned with a new cart, this one containing the pieces to the funeral scene that they were filming earlier in the day.
“Broker, where do you want me to place the film?” Cooper asked.

Broker walked into the set and looked around. “I’ll go get a table and bring it back. In the meantime, just leave it inside. And don’t leave it near something that’s flammable!” he yelled before galloping away.

Cooper levitated the film into the set and placed it near the middle of the room. As he stood there, Broker’s words echoed in his head. ”He’s right. I could’ve gotten myself killed. How could I be so damn reckless?” Cooper shook his head. ”Now isn’t the time for questioning. I should go back outside and bring the rest of that crap in.”

A few hours later, the deconstructed sets and various other materials from the first set had been brought here. Cooper walked up to Broker. “So, what do the higher ups think of us moving production over here?” he asked.

Broker chuckled. “They don’t care what we do, just as long as the movie gets made,” he said. “Just direct the movie and don’t worry about it. In the meantime, go home and get some rest. You’ve done enough today.”
“Thank you,” Cooper said with a smile. Broker nodded back and went into the set to check on progress. Cooper, meanwhile, started to make his way back home.

One month later

“And that’s a wrap!” Cooper yelled. After forty-six days, filming of “The Killer Pony Next Door” had finished.

“Hey, Cooper,” Broker said. “Listen, I know it’s only very short notice, but would you mind staying late tonight to help edit the film?”

“Sure,” Cooper said, despite being tired from a long day’s work. “Can’t be that hard, right?”

Four hours later, Cooper let out a mix between a groan and a yawn. “This is unbelievably boring.”
Editing, as it turned out, was a very slow process. At least I’m not eating my words from earlier, he thought. He levitated another roll of film and looked at it. “Yeah, but this result isn’t much better,” he said to himself. Cooper placed the roll back down and let out a sigh. ”I feel like I’m going to fall asleep if I keep doing this,” he thought. He shook his head. “Just another hour,” he told himself.

Cooper levitated another roll of film down and began to thread it. As he used his magic, his vision began to blur. “Must... Stay... Awake...”

Down below, Broker was reviewing some marketing details for the movie. “Okay, we’ll have a trailer before The Mare in Black,” he said to himself.

THUD

Broker jumped. He got up and trotted upstairs and walked near the editing room. He knocked on it. “Cooper, are you okay?” he asked.

No response.

Soon, a horrible smell overtook him. He slowly opened the door. “Cooper!” he yelled, running over to him. A large gash stretched across the unicorn’s head. His horn had snapped in two. Broker ran back downstairs to get EMTs, but it was too late.

Broker finished most of the editing on his own. Two other ponies helped, but Broker often stayed late to finish it. Lucky for Broker, none of Cooper’s blood damaged landed on the film. Towards the end of editing, Broker added a “Dedicated To” message at the start of the film.

After a few months of post-production, the film was complete. It was met with lukewarm reviews. Broker didn’t care, though. He was just happy that Cooper’s legacy was completed.

D is for Dive-bomb

On a cool, Spring morning, a pegasus stallion awoke in his home in Seaddle. A large smile formed on his face. ”Vacation!” he thought to himself. ”Finally, I get to go to Las Pegasus with Rose!” In a flash, the pegasus leaped out of bed and took a quick shower.

A few minutes later, the pegasus walked back into his room and started to pack his things. Let’s see: Clothes, wallet, bits, he thought as he looked over a bag. I’m forgetting something. Think, Crescent, He put a hoof up to his chin. Oh right, breakfast! Crescent walked downstairs and made himself a sandwich, which he quickly ate. His hunger satisfied, he went back upstairs to retrieve his bag.

Crescent walked back into his room and grabbed his bag. He looked around the room and spotted a Daring Do book. It’s going to be a long train ride, he thought. Might as well do some reading. Crescent walked over and grabbed the book and put it into the bag. He zipped it shut. With his preparations done, Crescent walked left his house and locked the door. He took to the air, his dark grey coat a stark contrast to the clear blue sky, and flew to the train station.

Crescent arrived at the station a few minutes later. He looked at the clock atop the station building. “Seven-thirty,” he said to himself. He pulled out his book and read while he waited.

A few minutes later, an earth pony mare carrying a bag approached him. She had a ruby colored coat and a bouquet of flowers for a cutie mark. He looked over and placed the book under his right wing. “Need help with that, Rose?” he asked as he walked over to her.

Rose looked up and smiled. “No, I’m fine,” she said softly. “Appreciate you asking though.” The two started walking towards the ticket booth. “So, how was your morning?” Rose asked, trying to make small talk.

Crescent looked at her and smiled. “Fine.” he said as he handed seventy bits to the ticket mare.
“Two tickets for the one-way train to Las Pegasus,” Crescent said as he turned his attention to the mare, who handed him and Rose each a ticket.

The two boarded the train. Placing their luggage in a storage compartment, they sat down and waited for the train to depart. Crescent removed the book from his right wing and placed it next to him. “So, are you excited?” He asked.

Rose smiled and nodded. “I’ve always found Las Pegasus to be so beautiful at night. The lights are awe-inspiring.” she said. “And I appreciate you bringing me. It means a lot.”

“We’ve been friends for twenty years now,” Crescent said. “Of course I’m bringing you.”

As the two continued talking, the train departed. “And now begins the day long trip,” Rose said.
“I’m going to go back to sleep.” Crescent nodded and picked up the book. He opened to a page that had been bookmarked and started to read.

Crescent and Rose had just finished breakfast when the train arrived at Las Pegasus the next day. “So, where’s the hotel that you reserved for us?” Rose asked as she got off the train.

“A few blocks from here,” Crescent said as he carried their bags.

Rose walked over and grabbed her bag before beginning their walk. “So, what do you plan on doing here?” she asked as she admired the various casinos and hotels.

“What do you think?” Crescent asked his friend. “I’m pretty sure it’s obvious. I just got paid for Celestia’s sake!”

Rose let out a sigh. “If you intend on gambling away all of your money, I’m coming with you and making sure you don’t lose it all before we leave,” she said. “The last thing I need is for you to lose everything you have to your name.”

“I guess it’d be a good idea,” Crescent said. The two walked into the hotel and walked up to the mare behind the counter. Crescent checked himself and Rose into the hotel. He grabbed their room key and walked towards the elevator. The two entered it and the doors closed. The elevator ascended to their floor.

The two friends walked to their room. “I’m going downstairs to the casino after we’re done unpacking.” Crescent unlocked the room door and entered. “Unless you weren’t serious about watching over my spending.”

Rose placed her bag on a queen sized bed that was up against a plain white wall. “I will,” she said. “I must say though, this room is very plain.”

Crescent chuckled. “Well, I didn’t want to spend too much on where we’d stay,” he said as he unpacked his things. “I hope that doesn’t annoy you.”

Rose shook her head. “Not at all. Just don’t use the money you saved on gambling.”

“Yes, mom,” Crescent snarkily replied. “I heard you the first time.”

Rose frowned. “Sorry,” she said. “I just worry.”

Crescent rolled his eyes. “Well, there’s no need to,” he said with a reassuring smile.

The two finished unpacking their things. Crescent grabbed a pouch full of bits and held it between his right wing. “Alright, let’s go,” Crescent said. Locking the door behind them, the two made their way to the hotel casino.

Downstairs, Crescent and Rose entered the hotel casino. Slot machines and poker tables filled the room. The two walked up to slot machines and sat down. “Good luck,” Crescent cheerfully said as he pulled the handle.

Rose smiled back. She opened her mouth to speak, but heard a loud laugh come from a poker table. “What the hell?” She asked nopony in particular.

Crescent cringed. He grabbed the few bits he’d won and stood up. The laughing started to die down. The two friends walked around until they found the source of the noise. They friends stood near a slot machine and pillar and watched a cheering pegasus stallion with a light blue coat and five cards for a cutie mark.

“Another win for Goodwin!” The pegasus stallion exclaimed. The other players looked pissed, and the dealer was visibly frustrated.

One of the players, a unicorn stallion with a green coat and a pair of poker chips for a cutie mark, slammed his hoof on the floor. “Will you please shut up?!” He yelled. “Every time I’m here, you always shout your victories. Nopony gives a fuck!”

Goodwin glared at the unicorn. “Watch your tongue, Yander.”

Yander glared back at Goodwin. “Or what? You’ll have me thrown out?” He sneered.
Goodwin stared back at him for a few seconds. Without a word, he stood up and calmly walked away, an evil grin on his face. “Out of my way,” he said as he pushed passed the two friends.

Crescent and Rose flinched. “What’s his deal?” Crescent asked.

“I don’t know,” Rose said. “Let’s just go play the slots some more. I don’t want to be around if he comes back.”

Crescent nodded. The two friends walked back to where they originally were. “If he does come back though. I’m leaving,” Crescent said with a frown.

Rose smiled back as she pulled the handle. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves,” she said.

And so they did.

From slot machines, craps tables, roulette wheels, and blackjack tables, the two friends enjoyed themselves to the fullest extent. By the evening, they were exhausted and somehow not broke.

As the two were leaving the casino, Crescent noticed Yander standing in the lobby of the hotel, a scowl on his face. “Wonder what his problem is,” Crescent said. “Think that that Goodwin got him kicked out of the casino for good?”

Rose shrugged. “I don’t know and I don’t care. That’s his business.” She looked at Crescent and frowned. “You’re going to ask him about Goodwin, aren’t you?”

Crescent shook his head. “No, you’re right,” he said. “Let’s just go.” Crescent walked over to the elevator and hit the “open” button. “I’m getting tired.”

Rose nodded and they took the elevator back up to their hotel room. “I know what you’re thinking about doing, Crescent,” Rose said as the elevator door opened. “You still plan on asking Yander about Goodwin.”

“I hate you.”

Rose giggled. “Your curiosity is going to be the death of you.”

Crescent rolled his eyes and opened their room door. He walked over to the bed and fell onto it.
“Night,” he said as he got under the covers.

“Night,” Rose said as she got under the covers with him.

The next morning, Crescent and Rose went out for breakfast. As they sat waiting for their food, Rose looked around the restaurant. The whole place had a high-class atmosphere. “So, you didn’t get us a great hotel room, but we’re dining at a fancy restaurant.”

“I figured we should go to at least one nice place,” Crescent said defensively.

Rose smiled. “I’m teasing. Calm down.” As she finished her sentence, a waiter brought them their food. “Thank you,” she said.

The waiter nodded and left. “So, what do you want to do today?” Crescent asked as he took a spoonful of his soup.

Rose put a hoof up to her chin “How about we go swimming?”

“Alright, sounds like fun,” Crescent said with a smile.

A little while later, the two finished their breakfast. “So, where exactly is the swimming pool at the hotel?” Rose asked.
“Roof,” he said as he left a tip. Crescent walked to the entrance and walked outside.

The air outside was humid and the sky was mostly cloud free. As the two friends started their walk back to the hotel, Crescent fluttered next to Rose. “Next year, we should go to Canterlot,”

Crescent said. “Maybe we could see Princess Celestia!”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Calm down and quit thinking so far ahead.” She said. “Enjoy now.”

“Fine.” Crescent landed and walked alongside her.

A few minutes later, the two walked into the lobby of the hotel. “Sweet, sweet air-conditioning,” Crescent said.

As the two walked over to the elevator, the door to the casino swung open. “Hey! Has anypony seen Yander?” Goodwin asked. “He said he’d be here for the poker game today and it starts in half an hour!” Goodwin walked into the lobby. “Well?”

“No, Goodwin,” the mare behind the desk groaned. “I haven’t seen Yander.”

Goodwin scowled. “What about you two?” He said as he looked at Crescent and Rose. “I noticed you two gambling your little hearts out yesterday.” Goodwin walked up to them. “Want to repla-” before be could finish his question, Yander ran in through the front door. As Goodwin walked towards him, the two friends made their way towards the elevator. Crescent hit the “open” button as quickly as he could.

The doors slid open and the two ran in. The mare behind the desk shook her head as Goodwin began screaming at Yander. ”What in the world is wrong with that guy?” Crescent thought to himself as the doors slid shut and the elevator began to ascend.

After a day of swimming, Crescent lay in bed. The sun had long since set, but Crescent couldn’t get his mind off of Goodwin. “Why do you think he is the way he is?” He asked Rose, who was trying to get to sleep.

“I don’t know, Crescent,” she said. “If it truly bugs you that much, go see if that Yander fellow is in the lobby, or in the casino. Otherwise, I want to go to sleep.”

Crescent sighed and got out of bed and made his way down to the lobby. To his delight, Yander was standing in the lobby. “Hey,” Crescent said as he walked up to him. “You’re Yander, right?”

“That’s me,” he said. “Need something?”
“I couldn’t help but notice you seem to know that Goodwin pretty well, and I’m curious. Why does he always seems so mad?” Crescent asked.

“Mind if I ask why you care about that egotistical jerk?” Yander asked.

“I’ve noticed you two arguing the past two days. I know it’s none of my business, but-”

“That’s enough,” Yander said. “You’re not the first to ask about him.”

“I’m not?” Crescent asked. “Then why’d you ask for a reason?”

“I was just curious. Ever since I started playing poker here, ponies have asked what his deal is.” Yander said. “Ponies always hear him celebrating and yelling at other players. A few times, that yelling has lead to him getting into fights.”

“Why hasn’t he been arrested for fighting?”

“He never throws the first punch,” Yander said. “It’s always somepony else.”

Crescent frowned. “Couldn’t you get him kicked out for how loud he is?”

“His outbursts never last long enough to disturb what little peace there is.” Yander yawned and shook his head. “If you’re interested though, there’s another game tomorrow. I bet Goodwin will let you play. He runs the poker tournament. Small one. We’re playing for fun tomorrow, though.”

“I’m not doing anything special tomorrow,” Crescent said. “Sure, I’ll join.”

“Great. Game’s at five tomorrow afternoon.” Yander walked towards the front door. “Be here an hour early. You saw how Goodwin reacts when somepony is late. Oh, and a warning: Goodwin takes the game ridiculously seriously.”

Crescent nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as he walked back to the elevator. “Good night,” he said to Yander.

Yander nodded back to him as he left the hotel.

The next day, Crescent and Rose walked into the casino. “Have fun,” Rose said, “and best of luck.”

“Thanks,” he said with a smile. The two hugged before Crescent trotted off to the poker table.

Crescent took a seat. He recognized the players from the other day, along with the dealer. “Who are we waiting for?” Crescent asked.

“The guest of honor,” Yander said. “Who’s somehow late to the damn game he set up.”

“I believe you mean ‘fashionably late’, Yander,” Goodwin said as he walked over. The dealer began to shuffle the cards. Goodwin sat down and looked at Crescent. “I see that we have somepony new. Don’t worry-” he patted Crescent on the back- “I’ll take it extra easy on you.”

Crescent rolled his eyes. “Thanks a million,” he said sarcastically.

The players put their bets in. Crescent looked at his cards and smiled. His hand contained a Jack of Hearts and a Jack of Spades. “I can work with this,” he thought. Crescent looked at the other players, trying to read them. He looked at Goodwin, who had a grin on his face. “Somepony has a terrible poker face.”

You win some, you lose some. Crescent thought as the game went on. He looked at his cards and mentally cursed. He placed his bet and waited.

Goodwin turned to Crescent. “Just fold,” he said. “There’s no hope.”

Crescent cocked an eyebrow. “How would you know whether or not I should fold?” He asked.

Goodwin began to laugh. “I can read you like a foal’s bedtime story.”

“Or you’re cheating,” Yander said under his breath.

“Enough!” Yelled the dealer. She looked at the three stallions. Yander and Crescent both shook their heads. Goodwin, meanwhile, glared at her. “Something wrong?” She asked the glaring pegasus.

“No,” he said. “Let’s continue.”

As the turn went on, the pot became bigger and bigger. “All in,” declared Goodwin. He turned to Crescent. “Your turn,” he said.

Rolling his eyes, Crescent went all in. “Screw your ‘advice’,” he said to Goodwin.

The other players folded. Goodwin began to laugh uncontrollably. “Four of a kind,” he said through his laughter.

Crescent chuckled. “Royal flush,” he said with a smirk.

Goodwin shot up. “What?!” He looked at Crescent’s cards. “No, you can’t be serious!” He slammed his hoof on the floor. “Give me a break!”

“Oh for the love of everything good in Equestria,” Crescent groaned. “You lost, deal with it. Seriously, you’re being a baby. Besides, I thought this was for fun.”

“I still lost my chips to some nopony who decided to join us!” Goodwin whined.

“Oh cry me a river, Goodwin,” Crescent said. “You made a giant deal out of winning the other day and then got pissed at Yander when he told you to stop celebrating since it was obnoxious. Now you’re making a big deal out of losing a game.” Crescent stood up and walked over to Goodwin. “Keep your damn chips. You’re nothing more than a sore loser.” Crescent walked off and left the casino.

Yander looked at Goodwin, who was now gritting his teeth. “Calm down, Goodwin,” he said. “You look like you’re going to explode.”

Goodwin spun around. “Did you not hear him?” He asked Yander.

“I heard him,” the dealer said. “And honestly, he’s right.”

Yander nodded. “Perhaps you should take what he said into consideration. You do rub it in our faces. Every single time. And now, you’re being a sore loser.”

Goodwin’s eye twitched. He shook his head and stormed out of the casino with fire in his eyes.

Outside, Goodwin noticed Crescent flying around. He stretched out his wings before flying straight towards Crescent. He stretched out his forehooves and slammed right into his side.
Crescent screamed in pain. He regained his balance and looked at Goodwin, who was seething in anger. “What the hell?” He asked him.

Goodwin flew at Crescent again and slammed his forehooves into Crescents stomach. “I don’t have to answer you!” He yelled.

Crescent managed to dodge one of Goodwin’s punches and got him into a headlock. “Maybe we can ta-” before he could finish his sentence, Goodwin bit Crescents leg. “Ow!” Crescent yelped, letting go of the raging pegasus. Goodwin turned around and threw a right hook to Crescent’s jaw. Goodwin threw another right hook which knocked Crescent out.
Crescent fell to the earth. Goodwin looked down at the knocked out pegasus. His left wing had been broken by the fall. He smirked and flew up into the sky.

Meanwhile, Yander and Rose had stepped out into the lobby. They noticed a small crowd had gathered outside. “What’s going on?” Rose asked as they trotted towards the door. She got there just in time to notice Crescent hit the ground. She opened the door and ran towards Crescent, Yander following right behind her.

Rose tried to stop the bleeding from his broken wing. Yander, meanwhile, looked for Goodwin.

“Look out!” A pony shouted. Yander looked up to notice Goodwin dive-bombing down towards Crescent and Rose. He aimed a teleportation spell at the two and managed to send them to the other side of the street.

CRUNCH
The entire crowd flinched. Most lost their lunch.

Goodwin slammed face first onto the sidewalk at full speed. His neck was twisted an unnatural angle. His face was nonexistent. Most of the sidewalk was covered in blood and bone. Yander shed a tear before running over to Rose and Crescent.

Several hours later, at a local hospital, Rose was reading Crescent’s Daring Do book in a hospital waiting room. A door opened and a doctor stepped out. “He’ll make a full recovery,” the doctor said to Rose. “But don’t expect him to be out for a week or so. He suffered a lot of nasty injuries from that fight and fall. He should be lucky it was only fifteen feet.”

Rose smiled. “Can I see him?” She asked.

The doctor nodded. “Though I think he’ll want to rest,” he said as he opened the door.

Inside, Crescent had several casts on him. An IV was hooked up to him. “Oh, hi Rose,” he said. “Yander with you?”

Rose shook her head. “He took over for Goodwin’s poker tournament.”

“Goodwin get arrested?”

“He’s dead. He slammed face first into the sidewalk.” Rose said, grimacing at the thought.

Crescent stared blankly for a few seconds. “You can fill me in when I get out of here. For now, I’d rather not fight the urge to puke.” He said.

Rose giggled. “Well, I brought your Daring Do book,” she said as she walked over. “I figured we could read it together.”

Crescent smiled. “Better than laying here alone.”

Rose sat down and opened the book. She flipped to the bookmarked page and began reading.

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed this one! Leave a comment if you did! :twilightsmile:

E is for Escape

It was the middle of Winter, and an earth pony mare with a magenta coat was waiting at a train station for her sister in northern Equestria. The sun had just risen, casting an orange glow over the sky.

After a few minutes, a train pulled up. A few ponies got off and greeted family and friends. The mare approached another earth pony mare who had a teal coat. “Dawn!” the mare yelled as she embraced her with a hug.

“Robin!” Dawn yelled back as she returned the hug. “How have you been?’ she asked as she broke away from the hug.

“I’ve been better,” Robin said as she walked out of the train station. “How about you Miss. ‘Big City’?” She asked with a smirk.

“Oh, I’ve been great,” Dawn said as she followed her sister. “Life in Manehattan is great. Though the noise can sometimes be too much. Especially when you’re trying to do homework.”

As the two made small talk along the way to Robin’s house, something caught Dawn’s eye.

“What’s with the royal guard outpost?” She asked.

“A few ponies have gone missing. A lot of the townsfolk blame it on this weird bipedal creature that has been seen from the forest,” Robin said. “It has a lot of us on edge.” Robin moved a doormat and grabbed a key to unlock her front door. “Including me.”

Dawn followed her sister into her house. The walls were a light blue, and there were a few stacked boxes in the living room. “So let me guess, that’s why you invited me here?” She asked as she walked down the hall, into the living room.

“Not entirely,” Robin said as she walked up to a box. “I’m also moving. So I wanted somepony to
help me pack my things.”

“And you couldn’t tell me this in that letter you sent me, why?’ Dawn asked with a half-smile.

“This was after I sent the letter,” Robin said. “This was after ponies began to disappear. I don’t want to risk being next!”

“Okay, calm down, sis.” Dawn walked to her sister and gave her a hug. “Look, why don’t we start packing?”

Robin nodded. “I’ll head upstairs. You bring one of those boxes up.”

Dawn nodded back and the two sisters got to work.

After most of Robin’s things had been packed, which had done a good deal for her nerves, the two sisters sat sipping some tea and watching the now alarmingly steady snowfall. “Care for a game of Monopoly?” Dawn offered, hoping to keep her sister at ease. Robin nodded, and the two quickly set up the board.

“Decisions, decisions,” Dawn said as she looked at her piece options. She put her hoof up to her chin and tapped it. After a few seconds, she picked her piece; a coffee mug.

“Took you long enough,” Robin said with a chuckle. She looked over the pieces and picked hers; a hat.

Dawn rolled her eyes and took her turn. As Robin took hers, though, she noticed some stiffness to her movements. “So, this creature,” she said as she moved her piece. “Would you like to tell me about it?”

Robin put a hoof up to her chin. “Well, one friend who’s seen it said it was taller than Princess Celestia,” she said. “Another said it had huge claws, the size of an Alicorn’s horn.”

“That’s... certainly interesting,” Dawn said as she scratched the back of her neck. “Is there a documented history of the creature?”

“No,” Robin said. “About a week and a half ago, it just started appearing.” Robin grabbed the dice and rolled. “Shortly after, ponies started to disappear during the night. Oddly, though, we’ve noticed that none were ever Unicorns.”

“And that’s when the royal guard was called in?” Dawn asked.

“Yep.” Robin moved her piece and passed the dice to Dawn. “So far, they’ve found nothing.”

“What do you think it is?” Dawn asked as she took her turn.

Robin simply shrugged.

“Aren’t you insightful?”

“Hey, I haven’t seen it, thank Celestia,” Robin said as she rolled the dice. She moved her piece and sighed. “Dang it. Jail.”

After hours of playing, Robin finally emerged victorious. “Aw yeah!” She cheered, a smile plastered on her face.

Dawn gave a mock clap, but couldn’t suppress a smile of her own. “What time is it?” She asked with a yawn.

Robin looked behind her at a small clock. “Eleven-thirty,” she said. “Want me to get you a sleeping bag?”

Dawn simply nodded. “I’ll put this away, you get the sleeping bags,” she said.

As Robin trotted up the stairs, Dawn glanced at a nearby window. The snowfall had slowed down slightly. Shaking her head, Dawn got to work on placing the pieces to the board game back into the box.

After a few minutes of tedious cleanup, she’d finished placing the pieces away. Robin, meanwhile, had brought a pair of sleeping bags down. Dawn crawled into one and yawned.

“Goodnight, Robin,” she said as she stared at the ceiling.

Robin pulled a blanket over herself. “Goodnight, Dawn,” she said.

Meanwhile, four members of the royal guard lay on a hill near the forest.

“They should’ve just sent the elements of harmony here,” one guard, named Sharp Horn, said with a scowl. “This would be solved in less than a day.”

“Quit your whining,” a second, named Brightmane, replied as he looked out at the nearby forest. “Besides, they’re off doing something else.”

“Hey, at least you aren’t having to deal with Changelings,” a third, named Greenhorn, chimed in. “Right?”

“I’d rather deal with another Changeling invasion!” Sharp Horn yelled as he shivered. “At least I wasn’t freezing then!”

“Quiet you three,” the leader of the squad, named Doven, said as he peered through a pair of binoculars. “I think I see something.”

Through the heavy snowfall, a bipedal figure with dark, yellow skin, no hair, and misty eyes. In the place of fingers, it had five sharp claws, and it walked with a slight hunch.
Doven placed the binoculars down. “Alright, stallions,” he began. “Our orders are to kill this thing. We have evidence to suggest it hasn’t simply been taking ponies, but killing them and using them as a source of food. Let’s make this quick.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” The three guards said as they saluted.

With that, the guardstallions picked up their spears and quickly made their way towards the creature.

Sharp Horn charged his horn and fired off a blast, grazing the creature’s right leg.
The creature let out a hiss, spun around, and faced the four unicorns. It let out a loud shriek, causing them to cover their ears, and charged towards them.

While the guards were stunned, the creature grabbed Sharp Horn by the throat and crushed his neck. It dropped his lifeless body and turned around to face the other three.

The remaining guards recovered from the ringing in their ears and looked at the creature, which loomed over Sharp Horn’s body. Brightmane charged up his horn, but the creature lifted Sharp Horn’s corpse up and hurled it towards the guards, knocking them down. It sprinted over and leaped on top of Brightmane.

Before Brightmane could react, the creature slammed its claws into his stomach. It raised its arm and hurled his corpse towards the remaining two guards, who were still down on the ground.

Doven slowly got up. “Greenhorn,” he said, “go back to the outpost and alert the messenger there. Tell him to send an evacuation notice to the princesses.”
Greenhorn saluted and ran off, getting the creature’s attention.

Doven fired off a powerful blast of magic at the creature, but missed. He noticed the creature raise an arm at Greenhorn. “Watch out!” He shouted.

Greenhorn turned around and ducked just in time as the creature swipes at him. Jumped out the way and tried to buck it with every ounce of strength, but the creature seemed unfazed by his blow. He gulped and turned around to run away, but felt the creature grab his tail and yank him back.

The creature loomed over Greenhorn and raised its claws, but just as it was about to deliver the killing blow, Doven fired off a powerful magic bolt, striking its left arm, and leaving him exhausted.

The creature let out a cry of pain. It let go of Greenhorn, who ran away as quickly as he could. Its gaze shifted to Doven, who glared daggers at the biped.

Letting it another shriek, it darted towards him.
Doven, using what little energy he had left inside of himself, fired one final blast of magic at the creature, striking its chest. The creature let out a screech of pain before driving its claws into Doven’s skull.

As Doven’s body fell limp, the creature turned its gaze to the town. It grabbed Doven’s body and made its way towards the nearest house.

Dawn lay awake, a look of annoyance on her face. ”Curse being a poor sleeper,” she thought as she listened to the wind howl and Robin snore. With a frustrated sigh, she stood up and walked into the kitchen for a cup of water.

“Okay, where’s the cabinet?” Dawn asked herself as she felt her way around the dark kitchen.

“Ah, here we go.” She opened up a cabinet and grabbed a green coffee mug. She trotted over the sink and turned it on. While the mug filled, and looked out the window. To her horror, she saw a bipedal creature walking towards the house as it dragged a Guardstallion’s body with it.

Dawn resisted the urge to scream. Panic coursed through her. She shut the sink off and ran back to her sister.

In the living room, Robin was sound asleep, a small smile on her face. Dawn ran over to her side and tried to shake her sister awake.

Robin mumbled something incomprehensible and rolled over.

Dawn’s left eye twitched. “Robin!” She said in a harsh whisper as she shook her sister more aggressively.

Robin opened her eyes and looked at Dawn. “W-What?” Robin asked sleepily. “Was I snoring?” She asked as she sat up.

CRASH!

Before Dawn could speak, the front door was busted open, sending a blast of cold air into the house. The body of Doven landed in the hallway. In the doorway stood the creature. It eyed the two sisters, let out a shrill shriek, and ran towards them.

“Run!” Robin yelled as she darted up a nearby staircase. Dawn followed closely behind. Downstairs she could hear the creature run down the hallway.

Robin ran into her room, Dawn following right behind her. Robin slammed the door behind her and pushed a dresser drawer up against it. “Okay, this is bad,” she said with a panic filled voice. She turned around and looked around. “Hide in the closet,” she ordered.

Dawn nodded and ran in. Robin followed and shut the closet door. “If it opens this door, headbutt it and run. Don’t stop.” She whispered.

Dawn nodded again as she shook with fear. ”Please, Celestia, let there be guards alive,” she thought to herself; tears rolling down her face. She turned to look at Robin, who was crying into her forelegs. She walked over and laid down next to her.

Robin nudged Dawn gently. “Dawn,” She said through her sobs, her calm facade broken. “I’m scared. I don’t want to die here.”

Dawn wiped her tears away and hugged her sister. “Calm down,” she said, trying not to burst into tears herself. “I’m sure the royal guard is hunting for this thing and will save us,” she said as reassuringly as she could.

From within the closet, the two sisters could hear the creature in the hallway. Against her better judgement, Dawn peered out of the closet. She noticed the door move slightly. From behind it came an animal-like growl. Fearful, she stopped looking and quietly closed the closet door.
Suddenly, an ear piercing shriek filled the air. The two sisters heard what sounded like wood being cut through, followed by a loud crashing sound, and a loud thud. Another animal-like growl
came from outside.

Dawn and Robin both bit down on a hoof as they listened to the creature search Robin’s room. Sweat dripped from their heads as they heard it tear the room apart.

Robin put her other forehoof up to her mouth as she shook from fear. Dawn wrapped her free
forehoof around her and gently nuzzled her.

Suddenly, the closet door shook. “Get ready,” Robin weakly said.

The door swung open and the creature looked down at the two sisters. They both leaped up and charged at the creature, headbutting it, which caused the creature to recoil in surprise.

Dawn swiftly ran out of the room and down the stairs. Robin followed closely behind. “Where do we go?” Robin asked as she ran into the hallway.

“The outpost!” Dawn yelled as she ran out the broken front door, the cold of the snow and air making her wince.

Behind them, they could hear a familiar shriek. “Don’t look back!” Dawn yelled to her sister.

Fear and anxiety filled Robin’s mind. Her heart raced. She could barely hear her sister’s words over the howl of the wind or the grunting of the monster behind her.

Suddenly, she felt herself get yanked back. She looked up and saw the creature as it loomed over her. “Dawn!” She yelled at the top of her lungs.

Dawn spun around and saw just in time as the creature brought its claws down onto her sister’s throat. The snow around her slowly became red. “Robin!” She shrieked

The creature removed its claws and stared at her. It grabbed Robin’s body and started to walk away, a trail of blood being painted behind it.
Dawn fell to her haunches as she watched the creature walk away. Sorrow filled her as the creature faded from sight, followed quickly by confusion. She got back on her hooves and made her way towards the outpost.

A few minutes later, she arrived to find a pair of guards conversing. “Hey!” Dawn called out.

One of the guards nodded to the other, who walked away. The first guard then looked at Dawn. “Officer Greenhorn at your service, need something, Ma’am?” Greenhorn asked as he approached her.

“My sister was killed by... that thing!” Dawn wailed as she broke down into tears again. “Why her?!”

Greenhorn grimaced and walked over to wrap a foreleg around her. “I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he said softly.

After a few minutes, Dawn stopped sobbing and looked at Greenhorn.

“Feel better?” He asked.

Dawn shook her head. “But I think I can ignore it for now”.

“Good,” he replied. “Listen, we’re evacuating the whole town tomorrow.”

Dawn looked up at him. “Why?” She asked.

“We have reason to believe that unicorn magic is like a toxin to it.” Greenhorn said. “So, we’re going to bait out that creature with unicorn magic and poison it. We don’t want anypony to possibly be affected by the amount of magic, though.”

“Is that why it took away my sister?” Dawn asked, tears welling. “And not that guard that’s in her home?”

Greenhouse nodded. “Possibly.”

Dawn started to cry again. “It’s not fair!” She wailed.

Greenhorn let out a sigh. “Listen,” he said, “would you like a bedroom?”

“Y-Yes,” Dawn replied.

Greenhorn lead her to a spare bedroom. “Tomorrow morning, I’ll come get you,” he said. “You’ll be able to come back here within a few days.”

“I don’t live here.”

“Oh.” Greenhorn shuffled his hooves awkwardly. “Where do you live?”

“Manehattan.”

“Well, maybe I can see if you can get a return trip there,” he said. “Don’t worry about your belongings. We’ll retrieve them.”

Dawn simply nodded and buried her face into a pillow.

As Greenhorn closed the door, he could hear Dawn start to wail. A tear fell from his face as he walked away.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a comment telling me what you thought. It'd mean a lot! :twilightsmile:

F is for Failure

It was a chilly Autumn morning in southern Coltorado. Ponies had just woken up from their slumbers. All except for two friends, who had been awake the entire night.

In a small house lived a unicorn stallion named Halant, a wannabe engineer. He had a white coat and a wrench for a cutie mark. In his basement, he levitated a clipboard in front of himself. “If my calculations are correct,” he said as he looked over a piece of paper, “then my creation will come to life and obey my every command!”

“Your ‘calculations’,” another unicorn stallion, this one with an olive colored coat and a calculator for a cutie mark, said as he examined a metallic pony that lay in the middle of the room from a distance, “are always wrong.”

“Silence!” Halant yelled as he turned around to face his assistant, only to realize he still had the clipboard in front of his face. He placed it down and continued. “You know nothing of my ingenuity. This is why you’re my lowly assistant, Altor.”

Altor simply rolled his eyes and walked over to Halant, who had started to tinker with some mechanical parts. “Okay, genius,” he began with a smirk, “let’s see if your creation actually works.”

“I must make sure everything is in place,” the scientist said as he tightened a bolt in the robots head. “You see if that bolt wasn’t ti-”

“Yeah, I get it,” Altor interrupted.

“Fantastic,” Halant said. “Then you know how to turn this on, right?”

The lowly assistant opened his mouth and raised a hoof. “You... flip a switch?” He asked.

Halant shook his head. “Not even close.” He walked over to a control panel and hit a few buttons. “You must enter a code in a very specific order. Should you not do this, the creation will self-destruct!”

“And why will it do that?” Altor asked as he walked over to the panel.

“I needed a fail-safe,” the Engineer said as he started to punch in a code.

“Dare I ask why a fail-safe is necessary?”

“In case somepony tries to steal it. It’s magnetically held down otherwise.”

Altor stared at Halant for a few seconds. “So, how powerful is the explosion?”

“I’m not sure,” Halant replied, his eyes still glued to the panel.

“How reassuring.”

“Listen,” Halant said as he finished punching in the code, “if you listen to what I have to say, this thing won’t turn the town into a crater.”

“Wait, I thought you had no idea how powerful the explosion is!”

“I don’t,” Halant replied. “I just wanted to see what your reaction would be.” He hit a green button and took a step back.

A faint hum could be heard around the room as the metallic pony slowly came to life. Its eyes glowed a faint blue. It turned its head towards Halant. “Butler-Bot online,” it said in a high class voice.

“Success!” Halant yelled. “I’ve created a robotic butler!”

Altor stood there slack jawed. “I can’t believe you actually made something that didn’t just break.”

Slowly, the Butler-Bot got up. “How may I serve you?”

Halant looked around the room. “Retrieve that,” he pointed to a screwdriver that lay on a shelf not too far from the robot.

“Understood,” the Butler-Bot said.

“So, if this thing doesn’t break, what do you intend on doing with it?” Altor asked.

“It’ll be my assistant while you aren’t here,” Halant replied. “I know you have a life outside of helping me with these experiments.”

“How considerate.” Altor deadpanned.

“It really is!”

While the two friends conversed, the Butler-Bot reached its destination. It reached over and grabbed the screwdriver. “I have retrieved the item. Would you like it, sir?” It asked.

“Oh, yes. Please, bring it here,” the Engineer said.

Despite its stiff movement, the robotic assistant got the screwdriver to Halant within a reasonable amount of time.

“So, you do intend to make it move faster, right?” Altor asked. “Because I’m doubtful you intended for it to take seven minutes to cross about forty feet.”

“All in due time, my lowly assistant.” Halant replied. “In the meantime, why don’t you go out and buy some wood from the hardware store? I want to see how well it can assist with building.”

“What happened to the wood you bought a few days ago?” The lowly assistant asked.

“I built a birdhouse.”

Altor facehoofed. “I won’t even ask why,” he muttered under his breath, resisting the urge to blow his stack at his friend. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

As Altor walked up the basement stairs, Halant hit a button on the control panel, which shut off the Butler-Bot. “Time to increase your speed,” he said to himself.

Outside, the morning air was chilly, and sent a slight shiver down Altor’s back. The sky above him was cloudless. The ground, littered with leaves of all colors. “Autumn,” he said to himself with a smile, “my favorite time of the year.”

After a few minutes of walking, the lowly assistant found himself outside the local hardware store. As he was about to enter, he heard a familiar voice yell, “Hey, Altor!”

Altor stopped and turned around. Behind him was an earth pony mare with a maroon coat and a cutie mark of a pair of binoculars. “Oh, hey Lilly,” he said as spotted his cousin. The two embraced in a hug. “What brings you here?”

“I’m going to build a birdhouse with my little sister,” she said as she broke away from the hug.

Altor’s right eye involuntarily twitched. “That’s awesome,” he said with a forced smile. “I’m here go pick up some wood for Halant.”

“He still hasn’t burned his house down?” Lilly asked as she and Altor walked into the store.

“Surprisingly enough, no.” Altor replied. He grabbed a cart and began pull it with his magic. “In fact, he managed to create something that actually works earlier, a robotic butler.”

“Oooh. Can I see it?” Lilly asked as she herself got a cart.

The lowly assistant put a hoof up to his chin. “Yeah. Just don’t touch anything while you’re there.”

Lilly grabbed some timber and let out a squeal. “This will be so much fun!”

“Yeah, totally,” Altor replied sarcastically as he levitated some timber down and placed it into the cart.

“Don’t be such a downer, Al,” Lilly said. “Don’t you remember why you two started those experiments?”

Altor thought to himself while the two walked to the checkout. “Nope.” He replied as he levitated the timber to the stallion behind the checkout counter. He levitated twelve bits to him. “And you know I hate being called ‘Al’.”

“It was because you two loved to create,” Lilly replied as she ignored her cousin’s complaint. After she paid for her things, she grabbed the bag containing the timber and ran up to her cousin.

“Look,” Altor began as he and Lilly exited the store, “I was up all night with him working on that robot. Of course I’m grumpy. Who wouldn’t be?”

“I guess,” Lilly said sheepishly. “I just hate seeing you act like this.”

After a short walk, the cousins arrived at Halant’s place. Altor opened the front door and walked in. “Does he always keep the front door open?” Lilly asked as she walked inside.

“Usually,” her cousin replied. “He locks it when I leave for the night though.” Altor walked to the basement door and opened it. “Halant!” He yelled down.

“Finally!” Halant yelled back. “It took you long enough. Come back down!”

The two descended to the basement to find Halant tuning up the robot. The Engineer wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead and placed a wrench on a nearby counter. “Oh, a guest,” he said when he noticed Lilly. “If you’d told me you were bringing somepony, I would’ve cleaned the place up.”

“Oh, it’s perfectly fine,” Lilly replied as she looked around the basement. A chalkboard with various designs hung from a wall. Toolbox’s were scattered around the room and on counters. Unused gears and other parts littered the floor. “I guess.”

“Anyways,” Halant said after a few moments of silence, “did you get the wood, Altor?”

The lowly assistant nodded and dropped a bag full of wood next to Halant. “Will this suffice?”

The Engineer nodded. “Now then,” he said. “I’ve fixed the Butler-Bot’s speed issue, and I equipped it with some basic tools.” Halant walked over to the control panel and punched in the code. “Now let’s see if it can build something.” He hit a green button and ran over to the two cousins.

“That’s incredible,” Lilly said softly as she stared in awe.

In significantly less time, and no longer with stiff movement, the Butler-Bot stood up and faced the three ponies. “Butler-Bot online,” it said. “How may I be of service?”

Halant stepped forward. “I would like you to build a picket fence,” he said.

“Understood,” the robot said. A small saw came out came out from underneath its neck. It grabbed a piece of wood and got to work.

By the afternoon, the robot had completed the picket fence. Altor looked at it before asking, “And do you intend on using it, Halant?”

“Nope,” the Engineer replied as he deactivated the Butler-Bot.

“Second time you’ve wasted the wood I’ve bought with my bits.” The lowly assistant said, and facehoofed.

“Hey, that birdhouse will be used,” Halant said as he finished putting away a tool box. “Just not at this point in time.”

Altor rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I’m starving. Who wants to go out for lunch?”

Halant and Lilly both looked at each other and nodded. “Where did you have in mind?” Lilly asked.

“There’s a diner not too far from here. We could go there.”

“Sounds good,” Lilly said.

With that, the trio left the house.

Meanwhile, an earth pony colt with a lime green coat and a lock pick for a cutie mark watched from behind a tree. He waited until the three friends were out of sight before he made his move towards the house. He reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a lock pick. “Just a little to the right,” he said to himself as he tried to unlock the house.

Click

The door creaked open. “Score,” the colt whispered to himself. he entered the house and looked around. Come to Lane, the thief thought as he looked around the living room.

To his dismay, the house yielded very little. “And just my luck,” Lane muttered to himself as he walked back into the living room. “Mediocrity abound. No fancy china, no rare collectibles, or electronics.” Lane walked over to the basement door and sighed. “Not even a fucking book worth stealing!” He pushed open the basement door and walked down the stairs. “Why, hello there,” the thief said as he lay eyes on the Butler-Bot.

Lane slowly walked over to the robot and tried to lift it. To his anger, it wouldn’t budge. He put a hoof up to his chin and stared at it. “Time for Plan B,” he said to himself. He took a deep breath and tried to topple it.

Once again, it wouldn’t budge.

“Stupid thing!” he yelled as he punched it.

Clang!

A bolt fell out of the Butler-Bot’s head, along with a data chip.

“Ow!” Lane yelled as he reeled back in pain. “What in Tartarus is this thing made of?”

“I am made of titanium, sir,” the Butler-Bot said as it turned on. It turned its head and faced the thief. “Now, how may I be of assistance?”

Lane’s mouth hung open as he stared at the robot. “I, uh, was sent here by the owner of this house to check up on you,” he lied. “Yeah, that’s it. I just didn’t know how to turn you on.” Lane let out a nervous chuckle as he slowly backed away from the Butler-Bot.

“I don’t recall Master Halant mentioning any visitors today,” the Butler-Bot said as it stared at Lane, “but I will not question him.” The robot walked up to Lane. “You seem nervous. Would you like some tea?”

“Oh, that would be great,” the thief said.

The two walked upstairs into the kitchen. “Now, what is it that Master Halant wanted you to check?” the Butler-Bot asked as it made tea.

“Oh, he just wanted me to, uh, make sure nopony had tried to steal you.” Lane looked around the kitchen, hopeful to find a way out. “That was all.”

The Butler-Bot brought over a teacup to Lane and placed it in front of him. “I will be sure to tell Master Halant that you stopped by,” the robot said. “Is there anything else that you would like?”

Lane took a sip of tea before putting a hoof up to his chin. “Something fell out of you when I was trying to turn you on. Any idea what it was?”

“It was a data chip that overrides a prototype home security function. Without it, I will view all ponies that are not Master Halant as intruders, and will view them with murderous hatred.”

Lane dropped the teacup, which crashed onto the floor. “Does that include me?” he asked in a fearful tone.

“Yes, sir,” the Butler-Bot said, “and my means of killing you was in that teacup.” The robot’s eyes changed from their normally faint blue to a bright, ominous red. “Now do hold still.”

“Can I at least get some more tea then?”

“No, sir.”

“Fine, then take this!” Lane stood up and turned around and, with every ounce of strength inside of him, bucked the Butler-Bot square in the head.

CLANG! SNAP!

The Butler-Bot turned off. Its head tilted downward as though it’d been turned off.

“Oh sweet Celestia!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. The thief fell to the floor with a thud and whimpered. He looked at his broken hind legs and cringed. The sharp edges from the Butler-Bot cut into Lane’s hooves, and the metallic body of the robot shattered his legs bones. Maybe I can still escape, Lane thought to himself as he resisted the urge to cry.

As the thief crawled pathetically towards the doorway, he heard something start to move behind him.

“Reboot complete, sir.” the robot said as its head rose. “Butler-Bot online.”

He gulped and turned his head. To his horror, he saw the robot turn its head to face him.

The young colt swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to speak. “I-I’m s-sorry,” he stuttered. “Please let me go!”

The Butler-Bot stared at the thief for a second before the saw from under its neck came out. “All intruders must be eliminated.” The robot walked over and grabbed Lane by his head. “Sorry, sir.”

“No, please!” Lane pleased as he flailed his forelegs.

The robot planted the saw on his neck and swiped it, painting itself crimson. It opened the front door and dropped Lane’s lifeless body outside. “Intruder eliminated,” it said before it went back downstairs to its original position. “Sleep mode engaged.”

A few hours later, the three friends returned home. “What in Tartarus happened?!” Altor shrieked as he looked at Lane’s nearly decapitated corpse.

Halant and Lilly ran up next to him. “What is i- oh sweet Celestia!” Lilly screamed.

“This is bad,” Halant repeated to himself. “This is really bad.”

“No shit this is bad!” Altor screamed. “There’s a dead pony outside your house!”

“Yeah, I can see!” Halant shouted back. “I mean that idiot must’ve somehow knocked an important data chip out of the Butler-Bot!”

Altor stared at the Engineer blankly. “What does that have to do with anything?!”

“If that idiot was killed by the Butler-Bot, he activated its home security function. It isn’t completed!”

“So, now it’s a Murder-Bot?” Altor asked.

“Yes,” Halant said. “You could say that.”

“Well, what do we do?” Lilly asked as she snapped out of her stupor.

“Well, we have to go turn off the robot and somehow put the data chip back in.”

Meanwhile, in the basement, the Butler-Bot awoke. “Sleep mode offline,” it said as it arose. “Intruders detected.” It made its way up the staircase and approached the door.

Outside, the trio continued to talk until suddenly, the basement door came crashing down. “Why hello Master Halant,” the Butler-Bot said. “I see you’ve found the intruders. Do hand them over,” the robot said as it pulled out a buzz saw.

“Halant, I just want you to know,” Altor said. “This is all your fault.”

“I know,” Halant replied. “You don’t have to remind me.”

“Sir, I understand the cleanup will be a lengthy process, but do hand them over. It will be as clean as possible.” the Butler-Bot said as it walked towards the trio.

“Stand back,” Halant said as he charged up a spell.

“What are you doing, sir?” the robot asked as it took a defensive position.

Halant didn’t respond and fired off a magical bolt.

The robot sidestepped and took out a wrench. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, sir,” the Butler-Bot said, “but this is for your own good.” It threw the wrench, which hit Halant on the head.

The Engineer staggered around. “I see dancing birdies,” Halant said before he fell down; unconscious.

“That’s the most sense he’s ever made to me,” Altor said.

“While I appreciate your honesty,” the Butler-Bot said as it turned its gaze to the two cousins, “you are still intruders and must be eliminated.”

Altor frantically looked around before his eyes landed on a birdhouse. “Guess it won’t be so useless after all,” he said to himself. He levitated it over to himself before he turned to Lilly. “Go get Halant away from here,” he ordered. “I’ll distract the robot.”

Lilly nodded and ran towards Halant’s unconscious body. She grabbed him by the tail and pulled him away. When the robot turned its gaze to her, Altor threw the birdhouse at the Butler-Bot.

To his delight, the Butler-Bot turned it gaze towards him.

Then he realized the Butler-Bot had turned its gaze towards him.

The lowly assistant gulped. “Oh crap,” he whispered to himself.

“You made quite the mess, sir,” the robot said. “I’ll make sure to make a bigger mess out of you.”

Altor took a few steps back. He grit his teeth as he charged up his horn and fired off a powerful magical blast.

“Warning. Critical system failure. Fail safe will activate in ten seconds, sir.”

“Oh crap!” Altor yelled as he ran away.

Behind him, the robot exploded. A rogue piece of metal flew into Altor’s side. “Son of a bitch,” he hissed. He looked around for Halant and Lilly. “Hello?” He said as he grit his teeth from the pain.

“Altor?” Lilly coughed from down on the ground. Slowly, she got up and dragged herself to her cousin. “Oh dear, you’re hurt.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” he said. “Could you go alert a medic?”

“Yes,” she said. “Just wait, and don’t move.” With that, she ran off towards town.

As Altor lay on the ground, bleeding, he heard a Halant wake up. “What happened?” He asked; dazed.

“The Butler-Bot exploded,” Altor deadpanned.

“Wait, what?!” Halant asked.

“You heard me.”

“My first edition of the first Daring Do book! It was signed by A.K. Yearling herself!”

“Yeah, now it’s nothing but burnt paper.” The lowly assistant said as he looked at the burning house. “Look on the bright side. At least you’re not dead.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Halant said as he tried to stand up. “Ah, damn,” he said. He looked at his right hand leg and noticed a large gash, which was bleeding heavily.

“So we both got hurt by that stupid thing.” Altor said. “Well, you got hurt twice, but whatever.”

An awkward silence filled the air for a few minutes before Halant asked, “So, I guess that experiment was a failure?”

“Your house is gone, somepony is dead, we might die if Lilly isn’t quick enough, and who knows what the royal guard will do if we live,” Altor said. “What do you think?”

“Sounds like a success to me.”

“You’re an idiot.”

The two shared a chuckle before both falling silent.

Author's Note

Please leave a comment telling me what you thought of this chapter! It'd mean a whole lot to me! :twilightsmile:

G is for Grey

In the vast reaches of space, on a faraway planet, an alien Grey flew his saucer towards a house nestled on a hill during the night. He landed just outside the house and grabbed a ray gun. Just in case, the Grey thought as he looked at the firearm. He put it in his holster, exited the saucer, walked up to the front door, and knocked on it.

Another Grey answered the door. “Xagnor! How goes it?” a Grey asked with a smile.

“Hey, Grognor. How’s my big brother?” Xagnor asked with a smile.

Grognor stepped aside and motioned for Xagnor to enter. “I’m great,” He said. “I appreciate you coming over. It means a lot.”

“No problem,” Xagnor said. “I appreciate you saying that you wanted to make up.”

Inside, Xagnor sat down on a chair across from his brother at a dining table and smiled. “Yes, about that,” he said. “While I do want to apologize for how I worded what I said the other day,” he placed his drink down onto the table. “I also must say that I still don’t buy into your ability to take a ray gun blast to the face.”

“I’m telling you, it happened!” Grognor insisted. “I got into a fight and took one to the face!” He pointed to a scar above his right eye. “See? This is from that blast!”

Xagnor got up and looked at his brothers scar. Sure enough, there was one, but he noticed something unusual. “Grognor, why are there no burn marks?”

“I don’t know!” Grognor yelled. “The bastard who fired the shot looked horrified, though!”

Xagnor put a hand up to his chin. “Yeah, I’ll buy into you getting into a fight,” he said, “but I’m not buying into your ray gun blast story.”

Grognor slammed a hand onto the dining table. “Look, if you want to really make up with me, just start believing the things I say!”

Xagnor narrowed his gaze. “Grognor, I don’t care what you say. There’s no way you can take a ray gun blast to the face. Not without there being a giant hole where your face once was.”

Grognor smirked. “Oh, I think I see what’s up,” He said. “You’re just jealous that I can do something you can’t.”

Xagnor took another sip of his drink. “No, I’m just a realist.”

Grognor growled and glared at his brother. “Look, if you want to make up with me, start believing what I say!” He yelled.

Xagnor flinched. “Calm down.”

“No, I won’t!” Grognor yelled. “I’m sick and tired of you never believing a single thing I say!”

“That’s because everything you say is never true!”

”That’s it!” Grognor yelled as he got up and stormed over to his brother. He glared down at him and raised a fist, but Xagnor threw one of his own and struck Grognor in the stomach.

“Cheap shot!” Xagnor said. He stood up and threw a right hook.

Grognor swiftly dodged the throw and drew his ray gun. “I knew you wouldn’t be willing to make up with me!” He yelled as he fired off a shot, which narrowly missed his brother. “Damn it!”

Xagnor drew his own ray gun and fired off a shot, which grazed his brother’s right shoulder. Grognor let out a shriek of pain and grabbed the wounded shoulder. He quickly recovered and chased after his brother.

Xagnor ran to the front door and ran outside. As sprinted towards his saucer, a ray gun blast flew passed him and the left side of his saucer. He spun around and saw Grognor running towards him. Panic coursed through him as his brother aimed his ray gun and fired off another shot, but missed both him and the saucer.

Xagnor realized his brother would stop at nothing to kill him, He drew his own ray gun and fired off a shot, this one striking Grognor’s left leg, which caused him to fall to the ground and writhe in agony.

With his brother incapacitated, Xagnor leaped into his saucer and started it up. As he began to take off, he looked outside and saw Grognor slowly get up and aim his ray gun at the saucer. He fired off a few shots, most of which missed. Sucker, Xagnor thought as he flew off.

A few hours later, Xagnor piloted his saucer through an asteroid field.

I can’t believe Grognor would actually do something like that, the Grey thought to himself as he piloted his way through the field. Xagnor let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. And over something so stupid.

While Xagnor remained lost in thought, the saucers built-in A.I. spoke up. “Xagnor,” it said. “Are you sure this is the best route to take home? I’ve calculated three other routes, all of which are faster and safer.”

The alien shook his head. “I don’t care, Xindy,” he replied. “I want to take a scenic route home and clear my-” before he could finish his sentence, a small asteroid hit the left side of the saucer, which damaged its engine. An alarm began to wail, much to Xagnor’s annoyance. “Head...” He muttered.

“Warning: Engine damaged detected. Emergency landing is advised,” Xindy warned.

“Just great,” the Grey said with a heavy sigh. “Okay, what is the nearest habitable planet?”

“Equus,” the A.I. said. “Inhabitants: Equines, among others.”

“And the second closest planet?”

“Hades.”

The alien grimaced. “Set a course for Equus. I refuse to deal with those sandworms again!”

“Course set,” Xindy replied. “Estimated time: Five minutes.”

“Excellent,” Xagnor said with a smile. He hit the autopilot button and lay back in his seat. “So, tell me more about ‘Equus’,” he said as the saucer made its way towards the planet.

“It appears to be mostly populated by ponies of three races. Earth Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi. Other races inhabit it too, including Griffons, Dragons, and Changelings, to name a few,” the A.I. said.

“Well, at least the inhabitants sound friendlier than the sandworms.” Xagnor sat up and adjusted his seat. “Have any Grey’s ever been there?”

“Negative.”

“Oh boy, time to make history,” Xagnor said as Equus came into view. “Looks sort of like home,” the Grey said as he looked at the planet. He turned off auto pilot and entered the planet’s atmosphere. “Think someone will try to kill us?”

“Most likely not. From what I’ve gathered, these inhabitants are mostly peaceful.” Xindy said.

“Whatever you say, boss lady,” Xagnor said with a slight smirk.

“I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t refer to me as ‘boss lady’.”

“You can still report any stupid mistakes I make to the higher ups back at home,” the Grey retorted. “I think I can safely refer to you as ‘boss lady’.” As he finished his statement, a field of trees came into view. He let out a heavy sigh. Of every place we could descend to, it has to be a forest. Xagnor rubbed his temples. Landing’s going to be a bitch, he thought as he activated the saucers cloaking.

After a few minutes of aimless flying, the Grey finally found an empty field to land in. He deactivated the cloaking as the saucer touched down and asked the A.I., “Is the air breathable here?”

“I haven’t detected anything toxic or harmful,” Xindy replied.

“Alright,” Xagnor said as he got up and exited the saucer. “Let’s see what damage we have here.” He looked up at the left side of the saucer. After a few moments, he went back into the saucer and grabbed a toolkit. I could probably fix this in a matter of hours.

Meanwhile, a young earth pony mare named Crystal was on her way home from school. Her bright blue coat matched the equally blue sky, and her cutie mark was that of a thread and needle. As she walked along a path, the Spring breeze blew against her coat. Up ahead in the sky, she saw something flying quickly- quicker than any pegasus could fly- through the air when it suddenly disappeared into thin air. What in Celestia’s name was that?! she thought as the color drained from her face.

After several seconds, Crystal continued on her way home when she stopped in her tracks. I need to know what that was, the student thought. I couldn’t be seeing things, right? She asked herself. Crystal shook her head ‘no’ and galloped in the direction the mysterious object had flown.

After galloping for several minutes, Crystal found herself in a large, empty field. She stopped and tried to catch her breath. I am NEVER galloping for that long ever again, she thought as she fell to the ground, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

Suddenly, a powerful gust of wind blew against her. She put a foreleg to her forehead and looked up. The student gasped when she saw a large, disc-shaped aircraft appear out of thin air. Crystal stared; slack jawed. Slowly, she stood up and took a few steps back. A part of it opened and what she saw made her nearly faint.

A tall, bipedal creature twice the size of her exited the disc. Its skin was entirely grey and its eyes were enormous. Oddly, they were also entirely black. Its head was huge, and it seemed to be wearing some sort of suit.

Crystal snapped out of her stupor. Is that an alien?! Crystal thought. Oh sweet Celestia, it is! Crystal shook as she stood up. Once the alien reentered the disc, Crystal, recklessly, ran towards it.

Xagnor walked out of the saucer and put his toolkit on the ground. Just as he was about to grab a wrench, he heard a voice. “Hey, you!” The alien looked to his right and noticed Crystal standing there, a nervous smile on her face. “What are you?”

The Grey stared blankly for a few seconds, shocked by the sudden question. “Omecay againyay, ittlelay onypay?” he asked, still perplexed.

Crystal cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Come again?” she asked.

Xagnor fiddled with something on his suit, right near his throat. After a minute of toying with it, he spoke again. “How about now?”

“You can speak Equestrian?” Crystal asked, taken aback by her sudden ability to understand the alien.

“No, I can’t,” the Grey said. “I’m using a Universal Translator Module. It allows me to speak whatever language it detects.” He walked over Crystal and gestured to a small device on his suit. “See?”

“Oh,” She said. “Well, now that we can talk, mind telling me what you are?”

“I’m a Grey,” he replied. “Now that I’ve told you what I am.” Xagnor kneeled down to stare Crystal in the eyes. “Mind telling me why you are here?”

“I saw your fancy disc disappear and wanted to know what it was.”

“It’s my ship. It suffered engine damage and needed to be repaired.” Xagnor got up and walked back to his toolkit. He picked up a wrench climbed onto his sauce and got to work on it.

“Can I help?” Crystal asked as she looked at the saucer.

Xagnor stopped and put a hand up to his chin. “You know what, you can. Tell me if anyone comes walking this way,” he said. “The last thing I need is someone trying to bring me to their leader because they think I’m here to invade them.”

Crystal jumped back. “You aren’t here to do that, right?”

Xagnor chuckled. “No, I’m not. Even if I were, I doubt I could do it on my own.”

“Okay.” Crystal chirped. “So, what’s your name?’ She asked a she looked out across the empty field.

“Xagnor,” he said as he tightened a few bolts.

“My name’s Crystal,” the student replied. “So, if you’re an alien, where are your fancy ray guns and gadgets?”

“In my holster.” Xagnor got down from the saucer and grabbed the toolkit. “Though it’s not as cool as you’d think.” He picked the kit up and hopped back onto the saucer to resume work.

“What makes you say that?” The student asked as she turned around to face the alien.

“They take a long time to recharge,” Xagnor said. “Though if you’re like my brother, and aren’t skilled with them, they’re also wildly inaccurate.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah,” the alien said as he put the wrench away and grabbed a hammer.

Silence filled the air for a minute. “So... are you two close?” Crystal asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“Not after today,” Xagnor said. “I went over to his house, hoping to make up after a fight we got into.”

“Did you end up disagreeing more?”

“That’s putting it too lightly,” the Grey said. “He ended up trying to kill me.” Xagnor put the hammer down and looked down at the pony, whose eyes were wide. “My brother has always had terrible anger management issues,” the Grey explained. “As time went on, he also grew incredibly arrogant, and started to always believe he was right. He also began to get a lot more aggressive.”

“Aggressive how?” Crystal asked, a hint of fear in her voice.

“A few months ago, he sent someone to the hospital after they got into a fight over a girl,” Xagnor said with a scowl. “What’s amazing is they both had girlfriends at the time.

“Did your brother get into trouble?”

“Nope. The other Grey threw the first punch. Of course, my brother antagonized him to the point that he did, which angered me greatly.”

“So, I’m guessing that this all somehow lead to your brother to want to kill you?” Crystal asked, still wide eyed.

“That and I refused to believe anything he said, as it never proved to be true.”

“Did you ever stop to think that something he might’ve said was true?” The student asked.

“Well...” Xagnor paused and thought for a moment. “The things he said were always so preposterous and ridiculous. There’s no way they could happen!”

“A lot of ponies would believe that alien life can’t be real, but I’m talking to one right now.” Crystal said.

Xagnor let out a heavy sigh and covered his face with his hands. “Even then, it’s too late to apologize. My brother won’t forgive me for shooting him.” He looked back at Crystal, whose mouth hung open. “What?”

“You shot him?!” Crystal shrieked as she took a few steps back.

“He shot at me first!” Xagnor yelled in an attempt to defend himself.

“Yeah, but still.” Crystal looked down at the ground. “Never mind.”

Xagnor didn’t attempt to retort. An awkward silence filled the air for several minutes until Xagnor spoke up again. “Does Equus have any fuel cells?”

“What’s a ‘fuel cell’?” Crystal asked.

“Where I come from, they’re used to power saucers and other vehicles.”

“I don’t think we do. We have trains though!” Crystal proudly said.

“Are they powered by fuel cells?”

“I don’t think so,” Crystal said sheepishly.

“Damn it,” Xagnor said, his voice filled with disappointment. “Wait out here, I’m going to send a distress signal. Maybe someone will come by and help.”

Crystal nodded as Xagnor leaped down off of saucer and entered it. He walked to the cockpit and turned the saucers A.I. on. “Send a distress signal to all nearby saucers,” the alien said. “Alert them that I need a fuel cell and will be willing to negotiate a price for one.”

“Distress signal sent,” Xindy said.

“Great,” Xagnor said as he left the cockpit.

Meanwhile, Grognor flew aimlessly through space. A bandage covered his left leg. “I still can’t believe what that bastard did to me!” He growled. “His own brother!” The rage-filled Grey clenched his fist, but resisted the urge to slam it.

As he entered the asteroid field that his brother had flown through hours earlier, his saucers A.I. spoke up. “Alert,” it said. “Distress signal received from one ‘Xagnor’.”

A wicked smile grew on the Grey’s face. “Where is he?” Grognor asked.

“Equus. Would you like to set a course?”

“Yes.” Grognor hit the autopilot button and engaged the saucer’s cloaking as the saucer flew to the sight of the distress signal.

Xagnor exited out of the saucer. “Alright, distress signal sent,” he said. “Hopefully, it won’t take too long for someone to arrive.” He climbed back onto the saucer and looked over what little damage was left on it. “I think I can finish this before anyone answers it.”

“That’s great!” Crystal beamed. “Want me to stick around?”

“It’s up to you,” Xagnor replied. “If you want to, I don’t care. Just don’t touch anything, please,” he said.

Crystal nodded happily. “Mind if I ask a question though?”

The Grey turned his attention to the young mare. “Depends on the type of question.”

“Is your brother only angry at you for you not believing the things he says?”

Xagnor shook his head ‘no’. “He also hates the fact that I’ve been so successful in life.”

“Why isn’t he happy for you?” Crystal asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Jealousy.”

Crystal frowned. She let out a heavy sigh and looked back out at the empty field. “I don’t understand it,” she said. “Nothing like that has ever happened here in Equestria. Everypony is so happy. Friendship conquers all.” She turned back around and looked up at Xagnor, who had turned his full attention to her. “So why doesn’t it fix your problem?”

The Grey shrugged. “Perhaps it’s just how your way of life is,” Xagnor said. “Our way of life doesn’t believe that friendship conquers all. It does, however, believe that friendship is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted,” he said with a small smile.

Crystal smiled back. “Maybe if your brother wasn’t so blinded by jealousy and rage, he could realize that.”

Xagnor nodded. “I’d be a very happy Grey if that were to hap-” Before he could finish his sentence, a powerful gust of wind blew against both of them. They both turned their attention to see another saucer appear out of thin air. “Oh crap,” Xagnor muttered. “Grognor must’ve gotten my distress signal.” He leaped down from the saucer and stood next to a frightened Crystal.

Grognor exited the saucer, fury filling his eyes. “There you are,” he growled as he stormed up to Xagnor and knocked Crystal aside. “Now to finish what we started earlier.”

“I’m sure we can talk this over,” Xagnor nervously said. “There’s no reason we have to resort to violence!”

Grognor stopped in his tracks and looked at his brother, dumbfounded. “You say this after you shot me?!”

“And you tried to shoot me!” Xagnor snapped back.

The two brothers stared daggers at each other. Both seethed with rage. “Look, we can talk this over like adults,” Xagnor said.

Grognor glared at him “How do I know you won’t try and kill me?” He asked.

Xagnor took his ray gun out from its holster and dropped it next to him. “There, happy?”

Grognor looked down at the ray gun. “Fine,” He said. “How do you want to go about this discussion?”

“I want you to apologize.” Xagnor said.

“What?” Grognor asked with a growl.

“You apologize for attacking me,” Xagnor said, “and I will apologize for shooting you.”

“You first,” Grognor said.

“No, you first,” Xagnor said with a smirk.

Grognor noticed the smirk and clenched his teeth. “Bite me, Xagnor,” he growled.

“I knew you wouldn’t accept my proposal.” Xagnor shook his head in disappointment.

Grognor’s right eye twitched at his brother’s remark. “Enough!” The alien roared as he stormed up to his brother, who flinched from the fury in his brother’s voice. “No more playing games!” He grabbed Xagnor by the neck and hurled him against his saucer. He stormed over and started mercilessly punching him.

Crystal stood up and shook her head. “Stop!” She yelled to the rage-filled alien. “Please, you don’t have to hurt him!”

Grognor turned his attention to the pleading pony. He walked over, but Crystal swiftly bucked his bandaged leg. “Ah, damn it!” the Grey hissed in pain.

Crystal went to buck him a second time, but Grognor managed to grab one of her hind legs, and yanked her towards him. “I don’t think so, little pony,” Grognor growled as he tightened his grip until he felt Crystal’s neck snap from the pressure. He dropped her lifeless corpse and kicked it aside. The alien turned his attention to his little brother, who was doubled over in pain.

Xagnor slowly turned over and tried to grab his ray gun from his holster. As he drew it and went to aim it, Grognor ripped the gun from his hands. “No cheating this time,” he said as he threw the gun aside. He lifted Xagnor up against and threw him against his saucer. He walked over and looked down at his brother, who could now barely breathe.

“It... hurts...” Xagnor said, weakly.

Grognor said as he kneeled down next to his brother. “I don’t believe you.” He grabbed his brother’s head and, with every ounce of strength and rage inside of him, slammed it against his saucer, which caused his skull to crack open.

Grognor stood up and looked down at his brother’s corpse. A devilish smile formed on his face as he began to laugh hysterically.

Author's Note

Leave a comment telling me what you thought of this story! It'd mean a whole lot to me! :twilightsmile:

H is for Haunted

The moon shined brightly in the clear, night sky over Neighburgh. A young earth pony mare who had a brown coat and a paint brush for a cutie mark, named Violet was visiting her childhood town for her Summer vacation.

And she was completely lost.

Now where did Mom say the local hotel was? She thought to herself. I could’ve sworn she said it was on Main Street. The young mare let out a heavy sigh and adjusted a saddle bag she carried as continued to ponder where the hotel was.

Violet continued to walk around town. A few store lights remained on, which gave the young mare a sense of comfort from the otherwise empty atmosphere. I should’ve brought a map with me, She thought. Then again, this town was a lot smaller when I lived in here. As Violet rounded the corner, she noticed something. Down the block was a faintly lit sign that read ‘Woodworth’s Hostel’. Maybe somepony in there knows where the hotel is, the young mare thought as she made her way towards the building.

As Violet ran down the sidewalk, she bumped into a unicorn mare, who was walking down the sidewalk. “I’m sorry,” she said as she got a good look at the unicorn. Her dark grey coat matched the concrete sidewalk and she had an eye for a cutie mark, which greatly unnerved Violet. She also appeared rather old and frail.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” The unicorn snapped.

“I said I’m sorry,” Violet said softly.

“You fillies are all the same. No regard for the world and ponies around you.” The elderly mare said with a frown.

“I get it, bitch. It was just an accident.” Violet said, now visibly irritated.

“Excuse me?” The unicorn asked.

Me and my big mouth, Violet thought. “Look, I’ve been spent most of the evening looking for the local hotel. I’m a little short on patience and just want to find a place to sleep.”

“And that gives you the right to disrespect me?!” The elderly unicorn growled.

“Well, no, but,” Violet faltered her words. “Look, the point is, I’m really sorry,” she said.

The unicorn glared at Violet as her horn glowed a ghastly white. “I’ll teach you to disrespect me,” she said softly.

Violet took a few steps back and laughed nervously. “Is it too late to offer another apology?”

The unicorn smirked, but said nothing.

“I-I’ll just be going now,” Violet said as she galloped passed the unicorn and towards the Hostel.

Inside the Hostel, a young unicorn stallion with a midnight blue coat yelled and a comically large grin greeted Violet. “Welcome to Woodworth’s Hostel!” he said. “I’m the owner and proprietor of this fine establishment!” The owner pointed to a name tag on his vest which simply read ‘Gordon’. The eccentric stallion levitated a clipboard to himself. “Now, would you like a room?”

“Oh, I don’t want to stay here,” Violet said, taken aback by the stallions energy. “You see, I’m visiting the town because I grew up here, and I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the local hotel.”

“It’s on the other end of town,” Gordon said with a slight hint of indignation. “I’m surprised that someone who grew up here didn’t know where that eyesore of a place is.”

Violet frowned. Well, excuse me for not remembering where one place is, she thought. She glanced at a clock that hung on the wall and then said, “I guess I’ll stay here for the night.”

“Ah, wonderful!” Gordon beamed as he turned around, which revealed a room key as his cutie mark, and grabbed a pen. “What’s your name?”

“Violet Ivy.”

The young stallion wrote down her name and handed her a room key. “Just go up those stairs”- Gordon pointed a hoof to a small staircase behind him- “and it’ll be the third room on the left.”

“Thank you.” Violet grabbed the key and made her way to her room.

Upstairs, in her room, Violet placed her saddle bag on a small bed and hopped onto it. Tomorrow, I can find out how my friends have been and see if I can get a room at the hotel, she thought as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~~~

Violet awoke in her bed. The moon still shone brightly outside. She lay up and looked around her room.

In the middle of it was the unicorn mare from earlier.

The young mare jumped and backed up against the wall. “What are you doing here?” She asked through her increasingly heavy breathing.

The mare tilted her head and grinned from ear to ear. “Hello, Violet,” She said in a hushed tone, her voice echoing in Violet’s head. The mare walked over to the side of Violet’s bed before she said, “Welcome home.” An aura surrounded Violet as the mare gazed at her. Slowly, the force of the magic strengthened, and started to crush Violet’s body.

~~~

Violet awoke in a cold sweat as she gasped for air. She frantically looked around the room.

In the middle of the room were hoof prints that were burnt into the wood of the floor. Oh sweet Celestia, the young mare thought when she noticed they lead towards her bedside. Somepony around town must know who that mare is. Violet looked outside. Still dark out, she thought. I’m not getting back to sleep though. Maybe Gordon knows something about that mare.

Violet hopped off the bed and left her room. I just hope he believes me, She thought as she made her way to a staircase. Violet descended it and spotted Gordon behind the front desk still. “Hey. Gordon,” the young mare said.

Gordon turned around. “Why, hello there,” He said. “Is there something wrong?”

“Well, you see,” Violet began, uncertainty filling her, “I had this horrible nightmare and when I woke up, there were hoof prints!”

“Are you sure you didn’t just sleep walk?” Gordon asked. “Maybe you spilled something and left them there.”

“They looked as though they’re burnt into the wood though!”

Gordon raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

“Just come see for yourself!” Violet yelled.

Gordon shrugged and followed Violet. “If I hear the front bell ring, I’m leaving.”

“Don’t you have any other employees?” Violet asked.

“Yes, but it was their day off,” the owner said. “A new mare starts tomorrow though.”

Violet nodded as she approached her room. She opened it up.

“Oh, well,” Gordon said as he looked at the hoof prints. “I’ll get somepony to fix the floor then.” Gordon turned to face Violet. “Need anything else?”

“Well, I had a dream about an old mare,” Violet said, “and the path she took is the same as the hoof prints over there.”

“I, uh, don’t know of any ‘old mare’,” Gordon said, “but there’s a library not too far from here. Maybe there’s a book on something like her.” Gordon awkwardly shuffled his hooves. “Anyways I should get back to the front desk. So sorry about your bad experience!” With that, Gordon raced back to the lobby.

“Well, aren’t you helpful,” Violet muttered under her breath. With a heavy sigh, she re entered her room and shut the door. The young mare walked over to her bed and flopped onto it. Slowly, her eyes closed, and Violet fell back to sleep.

Okay, first things first, Violet thought as she got out of bed the next morning. Go to the Library. I’ll grab breakfast on the way there. the young mare grabbed her saddlebag and made her way out of the hostel.

Outside, the air was humid, and the sound of cicadas filled the air. Yeah, I’m definitely home, the young mare thought as she walked down the block.

Bump

Violet staggered back and shook her head. “Watch where you’re-” Before she finished her sentence, she got a look at the pony she’d bumped into.

It was the elderly mare from the previous day.

“You,” The young mare said, uneasiness in her voice. “You were in a dream last night.”

“Okay?” The unicorn tilted her head. “So what?”

“You were crushing me with your magic! I even saw hoof prints when I woke up!”

“Are you accusing me of something, Violet?” The mare asked, now visibly aggravated.

Violet took a deep breath. “No,” she said. “I just had a long night and-” Violet’s eyes shot open. “Wait, did you call me Violet?”

The elderly mare smirked. “That is your name, is it not?”

“How do you know it?” Violet asked.

“I overheard you tell it to Gordon yesterday,” the unicorn said.

“I didn’t see you inside there though,” Violet replied as she narrowed her eyes.

“I wasn’t in there,” the elderly mare replied. “I was walking by outside and heard you say your name. You’d be surprised how poor that hostel’s insulation is,” she said with a smirk. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to be to go somewhere.” The unicorn walked passed Violet. As she did so, the young mare noticed that her cutie mark had to changed to the number five

“Hey, wait!” Violet yelled.

The unicorn stopped and turned around. She tilted her head.

“How did you change your cutie mark?”

“I didn’t change it,” the mare said.

“But when I first saw you, it was an eye,” Violet said as she became increasingly uneasy.

The mare smirked and walked away.

“Hey!” Violet yelled as she ran after the unicorn. “Answer me!”

The mare’s horn glowed a ghastly white. She shook her head ‘no’ once more before she teleported away.

Violet cursed under her breath. SOMEPONY has to know who she is. The young mare galloped down the block towards the library.

Violet entered the library a short time later. Okay, let’s see, She thought. Maybe she’s a ghost of sorts! Violet walked to shelf full of books on the paranormal and grabbed a few that caught her attention. The young mare walked to a seat and opened one titled ‘Spirits of Equestria’. Well, she doesn’t sound like anything in this book. she thought as she flipped through it.

Book after book, Violet came up empty-hoofed. Maybe I’m worrying about nothing. Maybe she’s just a strange pony who moved here, She thought. Maybe those hoof prints were there before I entered and I just didn’t notice. Violet’s stomach growled. Maybe I should get breakfast too.

The young mare stood up and walked out of the library. I wonder if that place mom and dad used to bring me to is still here, She thought. ’House of Pancakes’ I think was its name.

Violet whistled a nameless tune as she rounded a corner. Up ahead was a building with a large pancake on it. As she walked it, she passed a schoolhouse. A few foals were outside playing on the playground as she passed by. She stopped and turned her head. A smile formed on her face. To be young again.

The young mare’s stomach growled again. “Oh, right,” she said to herself. Violet trotted towards the building.

Violet opened the door, which made a bell ring. A unicorn colt at the counter looked up and smiled. “Welcome to the House of Pancakes,” He said. “What would you like today?”

Violet smiled. “Two blueberry pancakes.”

The colt nodded levitated a plate over to himself and two freshly made blueberry pancakes onto it. “Here you go,” he said. “That’ll be seven bits.”

Violet handed him the bits and walked over to an open seat. Immediately, she dug in That creepy mare can never ruin pancakes, Violet thought as she took a large bite out of one of the pancakes.

Ding

Violet jumped at the sudden noise. She looked over at the front door.

To her annoyance, the elderly mare had entered the diner.

Just ignore her, Violet thought as she took another bite of a pancake. A smile formed on her face as she chewed.

“Hello, Violet,” the elderly mare said as she walked over to the young mare.

The color from Violet’s face drained. She turned her head to face the unicorn. “H-Hi,” She stuttered. “What’s up?”

The mare took a seat across from Violet and levitated a slice a pancake over to herself. “Did you find any good books while you were at the library?”

Violet narrowed her eyes. “Did you follow me there?”

The mare shook her head ‘no’. “I was out for my morning walk when you bumped into me. Then I went to the library.”

“Sure you were,” Violet said as she glared at the unicorn. “Then why’d you teleport away from me?”

“What is an old mare like me to do when some crazed filly won’t leave me alone? I thought you were going to attack me for Celestia’s sake!”

“You wouldn’t answer my question,” Violet said, a hint of agitation in her voice.

“What question?” The mare asked. “About my cutie mark?” She stood up and looked at it. “It’s always been like this.” The unicorn walked over to Violet. Her cutie mark was now of the number four.

“It was an eye the first time I walked into you,” Violet said. “Then it was the number five!”

The elderly mare walked back over to the other end of the table and sat back down. “You must be seeing things, dear. My cutie mark has always been of the number four.”

“Quit lying!” Violet growled. “Just who exactly are you?”

The mare smirked and let out an exaggerated sigh. “I’m a unicorn.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Violet said snarkily. “I mean, do you have a name? A job?”

“I practice dark magic. Whoever does me wrong, I can properly punish with a curse.”

“W-Wait, what?!” Violet shrieked. “Does that mean you laid a curse on me?!”

The unicorn nodded and grinned. “As for my name, why should I tell you that? Don’t you already have something to call me? ‘Bitch’, wasn’t it?”

The color from Violet’s face drained. “What kind of curse did you lay on me?” Violet asked with a whimper.

“Where’s the fun in just telling you?” The mare said as she teleported away, a bright flash of light filling the room as she did so.

“Hey! Wait!” Violet yelled.

“Who are you talking to?” The colt from behind the counter asked as he walked over to Violet.

Violet looked at the colt and blinked. She turned her attention back to the mare, who’d vanished. “There was a mare here just a moment ago,” Violet said.

“Miss, I saw nopony here at any point, other than you. Are you feeling okay?” The colt asked.

Violet let out a heavy sigh. “Did anypony walk in here before I started talking to myself?”

The colt thought to himself for a moment. “Not that I can recall. Why?”

“I was talking to a mare. She walked in and immediately came over to me. I saw her yesterday evening and before I went to the library. I swear, she’s following me!”

The colt raised an eyebrow. “I... don’t know what to say. There was never anypony sitting opposite from you.”

“She teleported out and sent out a bright flash of light!” Violet yelled, her right eye twitching.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re disturbing the other patrons.”

Violet frowned and let out another heavy sigh.”I’m sorry,” She muttered as she stood up, a distraught look on her face. She placed a few bits onto the table as a tip and quickly made her way to the entrance.

I must be going insane, Violet thought as she left the diner and walked along the sidewalk. No, that’s silly. I mean, I’ve bumped into her. So she must be real! Violet fell to her haunches and placed her forehooves on her temples. I need to calm down. Maybe going to the park will help. The young mare stood back up and took a deep breath and smiled slightly. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. It worked when I was a filly. Violet clapped her forehooves together and walked to the town park.

Violet arrived at the park a short time later. She walked to a large tree and lay underneath it. A gentle Summer breeze blew against her. She shut her eyes and smiled happily. Finally, some peace and quiet.

“Beautiful weather, is it not?”

Violet spun around and growled. “You!” She yelled as she stomped towards the elderly mare, who’s cutie mark was now of the number three. “Why are you following me around!?”

The mare smiled from ear to ear. “Our conversation got cut short in the diner,” she said softly. “I wanted to continue it someplace less public.”

“Got cut short?” Violet asked. “You teleported away!”

“I know,” the mare said. “Mind telling me if anypony noticed me?”

“Why do you care?”

“I wiped their memories of me.” The mare walked up next Violet. “Well?”

“Is that why the colt thought I was crazy?” Violet asked.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” the unicorn said with a small smirk.

Violet stomped her hoof. “Answer me!”

“No,” the mare said. “Not until you stop being so rude to me.”

“You’re the one who’s been following me around!” Violet yelled. “You’re the one who made me look crazy in the diner earlier!” She stomped up to the mare and put her muzzle up against hers. “You’ve been driving me nuts since last night! You were even in a damn dream of mine!”

The unicorn pushed Violet back. “And you’re the one who called me a bitch!”

Violet burst out laughing. “All of this,” She said through her laughter, “because of that? Don’t you think that seems rather petty?”

“When you have the power to take lives because of magic, why wouldn’t you get back at those who do you wrong?” The mare asked a devilish grin.

Violet stopped laughing and tilted her head. “You’ve done stuff like this before?”

The mare nodded. “Haven’t you figured out what my cutie mark represents?”

“So you have been changing your cutie mark!”

The unicorn nodded. “It’s a counter,” She said. “And what does it mean when a counter reaches zero, Violet?”

“It means something has ended?” The young mare asked. Suddenly, her pupils dilated, and her heart began to race. “Wait, you’re going to kill me?!”

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” the elderly mare said. “The last pony never did.”

“All I did was get upset at you for yelling at me,” Violet said, her voice barely above a squeak. “Can’t we just forgive and forget?” She asked with pleading eyes.

“I guess you also think I should forgive those who’ve let a door slam into me and who’ve bumped into me, making my food fall down onto the ground?”

“Y-Yes! I do!” Violet said hysterically. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“You tell me,” the mare growled.

“Well, it’s the right thing to do.”

“No, the right thing to do is make sure they never wrong do somepony ever again.”

“You’re insane!” Violet shrieked. “I didn’t wrong you in any way. All I did was get upset that you yelled at me for bumping into you!”

The unicorn chuckled. “Not like you can do anything about it,” She said. “Nopony has ever been able to in the past.” Her horn glowed and she teleported away.

Violet gulped. Okay, remain calm, Violet. Maybe somepony at town hall can help you! She thought as she galloped towards the building.

The sweltering heat, however, quickly began to take a toll on her.

“Just... a little more,” She said through her heavy breathing.

After a short while, Violet charged through the doors of town hall, which startled the stallion behind the front door. “What is it, ma’am?” He asked as he regained his composure.

Violet looked up at the stallion as she gasped for air. “Is there any... anyway I could view the public... records?” As she finished her sentence, Violet fell to the floor and fainted.

~~~

Violet slowly opened her eyes. “Where am I?” She asked in a daze.

An empty schoolyard, save for a swing set, was all she could see. Violet trotted towards the swings and sat on one.

Poof

The elderly mare appeared in front of Violet, her cutie mark now that of the number two.

Violet hopped off the swing and charged at the mare. She tackled her into the ground and threw a punch, which knocked a tooth out.

The mare threw a quick punch and threw Violet off of her. “I come here to talk and you attack me!?” The mare asked furiously.

“Can it and leave me alone!” Violet yelled as she threw another punch to the unicorn.

The elderly mare swiftly dodged the punch and fired off a powerful magic bolt, which connected with Violet’s chest.

Violet reeled in agony as she felt a sharp pain course through every inch of her body. She fell onto her stomach and looked up at the unicorn, whose horn glowed a dark red.

“No more games,” she said as she fired off a large red magical bolt.

~~~

Violet jolted away and let out a loud scream.

The stallion staggered back a few feet. “Don’t move-”

“She’s going to kill me!” Violet interrupted, fear coursing through her. With that, she ran out the front doors.

“Wait!” The stallion yelled. “Medics are… on their way.” The stallion let out a sigh. This is going to be a pain to explain.

Violet ran through the streets. No place is safe from her! She thought as she charged passed a few ponies. “Excuse me!” She yelled back.

Thud

The young mare shook her head and screamed. “Go away!” She screamed as she tried to buck the elderly mare, whose cutie mark was now that of the number one.

The elderly mare staggered back a few feet and grunted. “Give up, Violet,” She said. “You’ve got no chance at beating me.”

Violet bucked the unicorn again, but she felt herself get caught by her magic.

“Oh no you don’t!” The elderly mare yelled as she levitated Violet up. Slowly, Violet felt her entire being crushed by the mares magic.

The young mare screamed in agony. “Please, stop!” Violet cried.

A few nearby ponies turned their heads and screamed in panic.

“Damn it,” the elderly mare growled as she dropped Violet, who immediately ran towards the hostel. The unicorn cast off a bright white light and chased after Violet.

Violet burst through the front doors of the hostel. She ran up the stairs and staggered back into her hostel room. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest as she slammed the door shut behind her.

“Now, to finish what I started,” a voice said angrily. The elderly mare suddenly teleported into her room, her cutie mark now that of the number zero.

Violet jumped and backed up against the wall. She swallowed a lump in her throat as the elderly mare made her way towards her. “You don’t have to do this,” Violet whimpered.

“You didn’t have to call me a bitch.”

Tears streamed down Violet’s face “Please, don’t do this. I don’t want to die.”

A devilish grin formed on the unicorn’s face. “Nopony will remember who you were,” The elderly mare said as her horn glowed a dark red. A thin beam struck Violet’s chest, which made the young mare let out a loud scream.

Slowly, the beam became surrounded by a white essence. Violet’s pupils slowly disappeared as the young mare felt herself slowly wither away as she watched her very being flow into the mare’s horn. Finally, everything went black.

The young mare’s body fell to the floor with a thud, her eyes now completely white.

The unicorn looked down and smirked. “I’ll make sure of that.”

Author's Note

Leave a comment telling me what you thought of this story! It'd mean a whole lot to me! :twilightsmile:

I is for Intrepid

On a cool, Spring evening, in a meadow in eastern Equestria, a unicorn stallion, who had a dark green coat and a torch for a cutie mark, and pegasus mare, who had a magenta coat and a few clouds for a cutie mark, walked through a meadow as a cool breeze blew against them.

“So, Norman,” the mare began, “you’re absolutely sure you’ve found some sort of treasure here?” She asked as she walked beside her friend.

“I’m as sure as I am a unicorn,” Norman said with a smile. “You mustn’t doubt me, Artemis,” He continued. “When I have ever been wrong?”

Artemis chuckled. “Well, the last ‘lost treasure’ you found ended up belonging to a dragon.”

“That was years ago though,” Norman said as he stopped and turned to face his companion. “How about more recently?” He asked with a grin.

“You did mistake the castle of the two sisters for a remnant of a lost city when you visited Ponyville last year.”

Norman glared at his friend and then let out a small sigh. “I... I never cared for the history about our princesses,” He muttered.

“And that’s why nopony has ever taken your exploration seriously,” Artemis said. “You care only for the fame and glory; not the actual history.”

“Yeah, but the history stuff is so boring, and don’t act like you’re any better. That’s exactly why you’re here, too!” The explorer whined.

“Not true!,” Artemis retorted. “I come on these expeditions is because I’m your friend, and I want to support you.”

Norman rolled his eyes and snorted. “Oh, and what about all of the times you’ve tried to take gemstones and ended up triggering some sort of booby-trap?”

“Just shut up and let’s get to this ‘treasure’,” Artemis said with a slight frown.

“C’mon, don’t you remember when you tried taking that ruby from that temple in Saddle Arabia and got us both crushed because a boulder got dislodged?”

“I said ‘shut up’,” Artemis growled through her teeth.

Norman grinned. “Okay, oh wise one.” And after a moment, they both burst into laughter.

The two friends walked to a small wooded area. Norman ran ahead and stood near some disturbed earth. “Here.” His horn glowed the same shade of green as his coat and tossed a mound of dirt aside.

Artemis’ eyes widened. “So that little treasure chest was just under that little mound of dirt?”

“No, I dug it up and reburied it.”

“And what if somepony had come along and found it? What would you have done then?” Artemis asked with a smirk.

“Uhh...” Norman’s mouth hung open as he thought. “Remind me to never do this again,” he said after a minute of thought.

The explorer’s companion chuckled. “So, what’s inside?” She asked.

“Let’s find out!” The explorer said as he opened the small chest. Inside was a map with a crude drawing of the woods and a medium-sized circle in the middle of it. “What in Celestia’s name is this? A foal’s drawing?”

“I believe that’s a map,” Artemis deadpanned.

“Then this is the worst map I’ve ever seen,” Norman said. “This is just a hole and some trees!”

“Well, there are trees around here,” Artemis replied. “Maybe-”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Norman interrupted with a slight snicker.

The young companion glared at her friend. “Anyways,” She said, “maybe if we walk around, we can find the place the map is depicting.”

“Alright, let’s get going then,” the explorer said as he put the map away.

The moon shone brightly through the trees as the two friends walked deeper into the woods. “What do you think is in that hole?” Norman asked. “I bet there’s piles of gold and jewels.”

“Dirt, worms,” Artemis said, “and maybe spikes.”

“Why don’t you ever have something positive to say?”

“I’ve said positive things!” Artemis yelled. “It’s just… you almost never find anything. So, why should I get excited when you find some wonderful ‘treasure’?”

The explorer stopped and turned around to face his friend. “Is the map not worth getting excited over?”

“You yourself said it looked like a foal’s drawing,” Artemis said. “For all you know it’s just that,something a foal left behind when they came out here to play.”

“Even if that’s the case,” Norman said, “there’s still the hole we can possibly find!”

Artemis rolled her eyes. “So exciting,” She deadpanned.

Norman opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he saw a large hole in the ground to his left. “Guess it wasn’t a foal’s drawing,” He said as he turned and smirked at his companion.

“Shut up,” Artemis muttered. She approached the hole and raised an eyebrow. “There’s a staircase here.”

“Wait, what?” The explorer walked over to his friend. “That’s… odd,” He said. “Want to see what’s down there?”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Artemis asked. “You didn’t bring anything that could help us down there. What if one of us gets hurt?”

“Look, we’ll at least see what’s down there and come back tomorrow with the proper equipment. How’s that sound?” Norman asked as he walked to the staircase and looked back at Artemis. “Well?”

“If you get hurt, it’s entirely on you,” The young companion said as she walked up beside her friend.

“It’ll be fine,” Norman said as he walked down the stairs.

“Famous last words.”

“If I didn’t get eaten by that dragon, what’s a hole going to do to me?” The cocky explorer asked.

“Entomb you,” Artemis replied with a smirk.

Norman rolled his eyes, and the duo continued down into the hole.

After a few minutes of walking, the two friends reached the bottom. To their amazement, the pit lead to a large cavern. From deeper within the cavern,the sound of water dripping echoed. A faint, cool breeze blew against them as they walked around.

“Sweet Celestia, this place is huge,” Artemis said as she looked around her. “What do you think is down here?”

Norman lit up his horn. “Probably a bunch of old relics from when Celestia was a filly,” He said with a small smirk. “Or maybe a mummy.”

“Are there mummies in Equestria?” Artemis asked as she continued to look around aimlessly.

The explorer out a hoof up to his chin and thought for a moment. “I don’t think so,” He said. “Why do you ask?”

“You mentioned-” before Artemis could finish her sentence, a small gemstone caught her eye. She slowly walked towards it and examined it.

“I mentioned what?” Norman asked from the other end of the cavern.

Artemis picked up the gemstone and hid it in her coat. “Oh, you mentioned-” before she could finish her sentence, the cavern began to tremble.

“What the hell is going on?!” Norman yelled as he teleported over to his friend and cast up a protective shield.

“Um, well, there was a pretty gemstone and-”

“And you took it?” Norman interrupted.

“Yes.”

“Can’t say I wouldn’t do the same,” the explorer said.

Suddenly, a loud crash filled the cavern. Large chunks of rock crashed down from where the staircase was, and slammed into the ground.

“Did the staircase just collapse?!” Artemis shrieked.

“If it did, I’m blaming you,” Norman growled.

Artemis let out a sad sigh. Fuck my life, She thought as the trembling slowly died down.

Norman’s horn stopped glowing. “I.. think it’s over,” he said.

“I swear, I didn’t know that would happen,” Artemis said, still shaken.

“I know,” the explorer replied as he fell to the ground and tried to catch his breath. “I was just screwing with you.”

The normally cynical mare sat alongside her friend and wrapped a leg around him. She looked up at the rubble that was once the staircase, which now created a wall that blocked their exit. “You think there’s another way we can get out?” Artemis asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

“Well, there’s only one way we can go,” Norman said as he slowly got up and turned around. “I just hope it leads somewhere that isn’t also blocked off.”

“Couldn’t you move the ruble away?” Artemis asked. “Or blast it away?”

“And risk dislodging a bunch of it and possibly get crushed? No thanks,” Norman said. “Besides, that barrier was draining enough.”

“Do you want to rest? You look rather tired.”

“I am,” Norman said, “but I’d like to explore this place a little bit,” He continued. “Besides, the ground is far from the most comfortable place to rest.”

Artemis gave a disapproving stare. “There’s no way I can convince you to not explore, is there?”

“None at all,” Norman said with a grin. His horn lit up slightly and he walked ahead.

The young companion let out a sigh and ran up to her friend. “So, exactly how do you think we’ll find our way out?”

“I have no idea,” Norman said. “I’m just going to walk around until I find an exit.”

“Are you serious?!” Artemis shrieked as she put her muzzle against Norman’s. “You’re just going to wander around aimlessly? What if you don’t find a way out? What if you hit a dead end?!”

Norman pushed his companion away and glared at her. “Then I’ll take your advice from earlier and try to remove the rubble back there. Until then, shut it. I don’t want the entire cavern to collapse.”

Artemis facehoofed. Why oh why did I become friends with this moron? She thought to herself.

The duo walked through the enormous cavern, their hoofsteps echoing the entire way.

Artemis looked at the walls, which had a few burnt out torches on them. A few gargoyle-like statues stood next to them. Their hollowed out eyes seemingly looked into her soul. They’re just statues, She thought to herself as she shut her eyes. They can’t do anything to me.

“Is the big, brave Artemis scared of some statues?” Norman asked as he looked back at his companion. “Better watch out! They might rock your world!”

Artemis walked up to her friend and slapped him. “That’s for being a dick.” She slapped him again “That’s the for the pun.”.

“I might’ve deserved the first one.”

Artemis rolled her eyes and continued on ahead.

Soon, the two intrepid explorers found themselves in a large circular room. In the middle looked to be a table of sorts, made out of stone, and there were indents in the walls- as though they’d hold plates and glasses.

At the very went of the table was a large throne— similar to one a king would sit at. Smaller chairs surrounded the table, each one made out of stone and in remarkably fine condition.

Norman stood motionless. Slowly, a large smile formed on his face. “Sweet Celestia, if I can find something here, it could be a fortune!” The greedy explorer yelled as he teleported away and searched each indent in the wall.

The young companion frowned and flew towards her friend. “Hold on!” She yelled. “What if somepony got lost down here and made themselves a home?”

Norman looked at his companion and snickered. “Artemis,” He said as he tried not to laugh, “you can’t be serious.”

Artemis folded her forelegs. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“What is there to eat down here?” The explorer asked with a smirk.

Artemis out a hoof to her chin. “Fungus?”

“Yeah, that’s probably poisonous,” Norman replied. “And do you think that a pony can really survive on just fungus?”

“Crazier things have happened,” Artemis said. “Remember the mare who got stranded on an island for two months before she got rescued?”

Norman waved a hoof dismissively. “That’s different. There was more to eat on that island than just fungus,” He said. “Now come on, I want to see if there’s anything of value here.”

Artemis rubbed her temples and followed her friend, who was investigating each indent in the walls. Please, Celestia, let somepony walk in and prove him wrong, She thought as she stared at the featureless— and empty— wall. Anything to have us just get out of here.

“Nothing, nothing, and nothing.” Norman stomped his hoof onto the ground. “Maybe somepony looted this place already.”

Artemis lay on the stone table. “Oh, you’re done?” She asked sardonically. “You sure you don’t want to look a fourth time?”

“You know what,” Norman began with a scowl, “maybe I will now that you mention it.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Artemis growled as she flew towards the explorer. “Come on, let’s go.”

Norman teleported away and watched as his friend nearly collided into the wall. “Alright, alright,” He said. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Artemis shook her head. “That was too close,” She said to herself as she fluttered to her friend and landed along side him.

The two duo walked down another hallway. “Don’t suppose you found anything on the ceiling back there?” Norman asked as he looked at the walls. “You seemed really interested in it.”

“Shut up,” Artemis muttered.

“You’re a real killjoy, even when trapped in a fucking cavern,” the explorer said. “That truly amazes me.”

“And your ability to act like a jackass amazes me!” Artemis yelled. “Now please, shut up and let’s find a way out of here!”

Norman grit his teeth. Just stay calm, He thought. She’s gotten in your nerves before. There’s no reason to yell back. Just do what she does.

The young companion tapped her hoof on the ground as she looked at her friend. “You okay, buddy?”

Norman calmly inhaled and exhaled. “Just thinking of ways I could turn you to ashes and tell the royal guard you got crushed by a boulder.”

“Ah, so you’re using the method of calming down I suggested,” Artemis said with a small smile.

Norman smiled back when something caught his eye. “Hey, Artemis,” He said, “is that a chalice?”

Artemis turned around. Sure enough, in an indent on the wall, was a golden chalice. Despite being covered in a thick layer of dust, the duo could make out a few jewels that were indented in it. “That must be worth thousands,” She said as she approached it. As she went to reach it, the green glow of Norman’s magic surrounded it. “Don’t worry, I’ll-”

The wall behind the chalice slid down and exposing a large arrow. “get it...” Norman dropped the chalice and ducked down just as the arrow shot out.

Crash

“Why does everything have to be booby-trapped?” The explorer whined. “Why can’t ponies just leave their stuff out in the open for me to take?”

“You do realize you sound like a complete moron for saying that, right?” Artemis asked.

“Yep.”

“At least you’re aware of it.”

“Mhm.”

“You really don’t care, do you?”

“You’re a sharp one.”

Artemis shook her head and walked by her friend, who was looking down at the shattered chalice. “Come on,” She said as she bit down on his tail. “There’s probably more of them where that one came from.”

A short while later, the two friends arrived in another large, open room. In the center of it was a pool full of water, and large boulder stood next to it. A few tally marks were on it.

“Think this was some sort of sports room?” Norman asked as he approached the boulder.

“If that’s the case, it was shared with a library,” Artemis replied as she trotted to the western portion of the room. Several bookshelves lined the wall, but all were empty. Layers of dust filled them, along with a few spiderwebs. “Odd that whoever resided here paired the two up.”

“Do you think that this was maybe an underground city of sorts?” Norman asked as he walked up to his friend.

“Whatever it is, it’s starting to give me the creeps,” Artemis said. “I feel like I’m disturbing someplace that was meant to never be disturbed.”

“Because the other places we’ve explored were meant to be disturbed?” Norman said. “Like that dragon’s cave?”

“That place was still inhabited though,” Artemis said. “This place is, well, empty. Like everypony just got up and left!” The young companion looked around the entire room her eyes landed on something. “Is that a skeleton on the other end of the room?” She asked.

Norman teleported to the other end of the room and looked around.

Rested up against the eastern wall was the skeleton of a unicorn. Its horn was still intact, but its jaw, along with a few other bones, was broken. “Somepony, or something, must’ve really beaten this poor pony up,” Norman grimaced.

Artemis fluttered over and landed next to her friend. She looked down at the corpse and spotted something. “There’s a sapphire next to it,” She said.

Norman glanced down. “Are you suggesting we steal from it?” He asked. “I may be greedy, but I’m not going to steal from the dead.”

Artemis’s eyes widened. “Oh wow, you of all ponies have standards when it comes to what you will and will not take?”

The greedy explorer glared at his friend. “Oh, give me a break,” He said. “Are you going to take it?”

“Well, I... um...” Artemis shuffled awkwardly and coughed. “Yes.”

“If it comes back to life and tries to kill you-” Norman teleported towards the exit- “I’ll be way over here where it’s safe.”

Artemis rolled her eyes and went to pick up the sapphire, only to discover it was attached to a string. “Come on, you stupid thing,” She growled.

“What’s wrong?” Norman asked.

The young companion ignored her friend and yanked on the gem, which caused the string to snap and made her stagger back a few feet. “Ah-hah!” She said as she danced happily. “I got-”

Click

“It...” Behind where the skeleton lay, the wall shot down, and behind it was a large dog-like creature with a sharp tail. “Oh... crap.”

Norman’s eyes shot open. “Well, I guess we know what killed our friend over there,” He said nervously. “Should we run?”

The large hound leaped towards Artemis, who flew upwards and clung to flew towards Norman. “Can you just turn it to ash or something?” She asked.

“Against that?!” Norman shrieked as the hound turned its gaze to the duo. “Fuck no! RUN!”

The hound lunged towards the two explorers, who turned around and ran down the hallway, their hearts threatening to beat out of their chests and grow legs of their own.

The young companion took to the air and flew next to her friend. “Are you sure you can’t-”

“Artemis, even if I could, I’m pretty sure it’d rip me in half before I could fire off even the weakest of magic bolts!” Norman yelled as he teleported ahead of his friend. “Also, why aren’t you flying ahead of me?!”

“I’m not leaving you behind!” She said. “I’m not that mean!”

The creature let out a loud, ear-splitting howl, which caused the cavern to shake and made a few rocks fall from the ceiling.

Artemis spotted a large, sharp rock up ahead. A smirk formed on her face and she landed alongside Norman. “Hey, keep that thing distracted, I have an idea,” She said as she flew up ahead.

Norman noticed her fly towards the rock and grinned. He teleported ahead and fired off a small, magic bolt at the large hound.

The hound shrugged off the bolt and lunged at Norman. It raised its right paw and swiped the unicorn to the side.

Norman slammed against the cavern wall and looked up at the hound. “Artemis!” He yelled as the hound drew closer. “Are you going to-”

Suddenly, an enormous spike came down from the ceiling and crushed the hound’s head, causing it to explode into a crimson mist, which coated Norman completely.

Norman fainted before he could finish his sentence.

Artemis landed next to her friend, whose coat was now covered in blood. “I think... I think I’ll join you in that,” Artemis said before she herself passed out from exhaustion.

Sometime later, Norman awoke. “Oh, sweet Celestia, my whole body aches,” He said as he slowly got up.

“Ah, you’re up,” Artemis said from slightly farther down the hallway.

Norman turned his head. As he did so, he noticed the hounds body. “Fuck, I’m going to have nightmares for weeks now,” He said as he quickly turned around and resisted the urge to vomit.

“It’s just blood,” Artemis said as she fluttered to her friends side. “Speaking of which, you should go wash up back at that pool.”

“Why? Do I have blood on me?”

“You, uh, have a bit on you,” Artemis lied.

Norman frowned. “And now the truth?”

“Your coat is now red.”

Norman’s eyes widened and he teleported up the hallway. “I’ll be back in a bit!” He yelled as he ran towards the room they were previously at.

“How can he be a neat freak and love exploring?” Artemis asked herself out loud.

A few minutes later, Norman teleported back in front of her. “Am I clean?” He asked.

“You do realize you probably just bathed in some sort of sacred pool, right?” Artemis asked.

“Um... oops?”

“You’re an idiot,” Artemis said, “but yes, you’re clean.”

“Well, that’s something, right?” Norman asked with a small smile.

“Sure,” Artemis replied, “whatever you say.”

“Wonderful, now let’s go,” the explorer said.

“Remember what you said about somepony eating fungus if they got trapped here?” Norman asked as he dragged himself through the seemingly never-ending hallway.

“Yeah?” Artemis asked as she walked slowly beside her friend.

“Have you found any?”

“Nope.”

Norman let out a groan. “Do you think we should’ve tried to get something off of that hound?”

“I’m going to bet that if we ate that thing, we would’ve gotten some sort of horrible disease,” Artemis said. “It was behind that wall for Celestia knows how long.”

Norman sighed. “Maybe that’s why nopony is here. There’s no-”

“Mushrooms!” Artemis cried out as she ran ahead.

The explorer perked his head up. In a room up ahead was an enormous shrine with a unicorn with a crown on its head. Various fruits and vegetables— which long since become rotten— surrounded it, along with fungal plants. A few candles, which were long since burnt out, surrounded the shrine.

At the end of the room were two large tapestries, which bore the image of a unicorn with a crown. Both were tattered, and the one on the right had a large rip in it and was partly covered in blood.

“Thank Celestia!” Artemis said, oblivious to her surroundings. “Food!”

Norman teleported beside her. “Yeah, but... who’s the unicorn there?” He asked as he looked up at the statue to get a better look at it. The unicorn had a proud— if somewhat arrogant— look on his face. He had sheath on his left side, and wore a necklace in the shape of a shield.

Artemis ignored her friends question and took a bite out of a mushroom. “I don’t know,” She said as she chewed on the fungal plant. “But hey, we’ve got something to eat!”

The explorer took a bite out of a mushroom. “Yeah, I guess,” He said as he looked at the statue intently. “Why is there a shrine to this pony?”

“Maybe they’re a long lost ruler of Equestria,” Artemis said. “Maybe from a time before Celestia and Luna?”

“Do you really think that Celestia would hide something like this from the public?” Norman asked. “I mean, there were stories about Nightmare Moon.”

“Yeah, but those were believed to just be myths,” Artemis said. “I’ve never read about a place like this.”

Norman took another bite out of a mushroom turned his attention elsewhere. The room was larger than any other room the duo had been in. Hundreds of candles lined the walls, along with baskets of various fruits and vegetables adorned the walls. A cauldron was nestled in the top right corner of the room, and the skeleton of another unicorn was rested up against it, along with something that caught the explorer’s eye.

Norman teleported towards the skeleton and trotted over. Nestled underneath the skeleton’s forehooves was a notebook. Norman levitated it up and blow the dust off of the cover. “Uh, Artemis?” He asked.

“Whatcha find?” Artemis asked as she trotted up beside her friend.

“A journal,” Norman said, “but I have no idea what it says.” He handed the journal to his companion. “Can you translate it?”

Artemis looked down at the book and smiled. “See, this is why you need to pay attention to history. It’s in ancient Equestrian!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Artemis frowned, flipped open the book, and started to read.

Journal of the Guard of King Irwin

“I guess that’s who the dead pony is?” Norman asked.

Artemis shrugged and continued to read.

Entry #1. King Irwin is insane if he believes that we can survive down here. There’s no light, no rain, nothing. I don’t understand why he doesn’t bother letting us just live above ground like normal ponies. Ah, wait, I’ve forgotten. “Those mongrels who worship Celestia will have us imprisoned, for she is a tyrant.” What a load of crap. I hope that somepony assassinates this psycho.

“Well, he sounds like a bundle of joy,” Norman said with a small smirk.

Entry #2. Ah, what joy. Two guards got eaten by that mutt our all knowing King Irwin calls a fucking pet! Ivan got ripped in half when he tried to feed it some Manticore meat and Hugo get his head chomped off when he tried to give it water. I swear, I should just feed Irwin himself to it.

“I wonder what its room looks like,” Norman mused to himself.

“Oh no, you aren’t going back there!” Artemis bit down on her friends tail and yanked him over. “You go back there and you’re on your own.”

“Fine, fine.” Norman said with a slight frown.

“Good.” Artemis flipped to the next entry and continued to read.

Entry #3. Apparently, Irwin wants to sacrifice ponies so that it may rain underground. Yup, he’s done lost his mind.

“I wonder if Celestia knows about any of this,” Artemis asked.

Norman shrugged “If she does, I doubt she cares anymore. This place looks like it hasn’t been inhabited in hundreds of years. Maybe even thousands.”

“I guess we can try to find out after we escape,” Artemis said as she flipped to the next entry.

Entry #4. Fuck it, I put poison in his food this morning. I overheard he wants to sacrifice me— His most trusted guard— to have it rain down here. Nope, he dies first! This is my last entry. After this, I’m fleeing to the world above and making a life for myself somewhere else. But before I do, I’m stealing the bastard’s most prized diamond.

“That’s where it ends,” Norman said. “Every other page is blank.”

Artemis turned to the statue of King Irwin. “What a sick, twisted pony.” Artemis turned back to her friend, who had a grin plastered on his face. “Oh, don’t tell me.”

“I’m going to get that diamond,” Norman said. “It could be worth millions!”

“Are you crazy?” Artemis asked. “Aren’t you nervous about that room being booby-trapped?”

“I’ll be careful,” Norman said. “I swear. Besides, you tried to steal two gems so far. Why can’t I?”

“I... well... fair point.”

“Exactly,” the explorer said as he walked to the other end of the room. “Now come on, let’s go!”

Sometime later, the two friends arrived in another large room. Against the eastern wall were a pair of beds that had been made from stone, along with a bowl that had been chiseled from rock.

Overlooking both beds were two half painted gargoyle-like statues which glared downward at the two friends. Below them were two fully painted chimera statues, their mouths open as though they were roaring.

Directly across from the chimera statues, against the western wall, was a boulder that blocked off an opening, and a few indents similar to the ones in the previous room. At the other end of the room was, the cavern continued, though there was a faint glimmer of light.

Norman trotted over to the boulder and examined it. “Think that diamond is behind here?” He asked.

“Maybe?” Artemis replied as she walked up beside her friend. “Only one way to find out, right?”

Norman’s horn lit up and a glow surrounded the boulder. “Let’s find out,” the explorer said as he grit his teeth. Slowly, the boulder moved aside.

“Ho-oly crap,” Artemis said as the boulder moved away, “look at the size of that thing!”

Norman’s horn stopped glowing. He looked ahead in the short, narrow room. Sure enough, at the end of it, there was a large diamond. “Cha-ching!” He said as his eyes shined.

Before Norman could run into the room, Artemis bit down on his tail and yanked him back, which caused the explorer to fall to the ground. “Hold on!” Artemis yelled. “Do you really not expect there to be a bunch of traps in that room?”

“Have you forgotten who made a barrier when we first got into this damned cavern?” Norman asked. “If there are any booby traps, I’ll just make another one!”

“Rather than waste time walking over and grabbing it, why don’t you levitate it out here?” Artemis asked. “It looks like it’s just sitting there.”

“It’d be cooler if I went on though. Y’know, like Daring Do!”

Artemis laughed. “That’s cute,” She said through her laughter. “I’m going to explain this really slowly: She’s a pegasus and you’re a unicorn. She can’t levitate things to her. You can.”

“You don’t have to be so condescending,” Norman said with another growl. The explorer walked to the entrance of the small room. He inhaled deeply and aimed his horn at the gem. “Alright, you big beauty, come to Norman.”

Norman’s horn glowed once again. A green aura surrounded the diamond as it slowly floated up.

“This thing is surprisingly heavy,” Norman said through his teeth. The explorer shut his eyes tried to yank the diamond towards himself.

Suddenly, the wall behind where the diamond sat came down, which revealed dozens of small holes.

“Duck!” Artemis yelled as numerous arrows shot out.

“Huh?” Norman asked as he opened his eyes just in time to see a wave of arrows fly towards him. Each one pierced easily through his body.

Artemis turned around just in time to see her friend fall over dead. “Norman!” She cried out.

The young companion stood up and ran over to her friends side. Dozens of arrows were embedded in his body. “Dammit, you deserve better than looking like a living pincushion,” She said to herself. “Can’t say I’m shocked your greed was your downfall though. We always did say that’s what would do us, right?”

Artemis looked over at the diamond, which had rolled towards the entrance of the narrow room. She trotted over to the gem and picked it up. “Here,” She said as she walked back over and dropped it next to Norman’s body. “Rest in peace with it, buddy,” She said with a sad smile.

Artemis looked at the exit to the room and walked towards it. Maybe I should go to Canterlot and see if somepony there knows anything about King Irwin. Maybe they can make more use of this damned cavern than either of us ever could, She thought as she rounded the corner, which lead to a long, narrow hallway. On the walls were dozens of gargoyle statues. Each one had a pearl where their eyes were, which glistened slightly from the light that shined in from the exit.

I swear, these things are alive, Artemis thought as she looked at the statues. Maybe Irwin somehow imbued them with some sort of life-giving spell, then turned them to stone. She shivered at the thought, and hurriedly made her way out of the cavern.

Outside, Artemis found herself in a thick forest. The sun shined brightly in the sky, and the sound of birds chirping filled the air. Great, now where the tartarus am I? She thought as she sighed. She took to the sky and looked out over the vast forest, which seemed to stretch endlessly. Time to find my way out— again.

Author's Note

Please leave a comment telling me what you thought!

J is for Jump

On a frigid, Winter evening in northern Manetana, lurked a creature most unusual. It resembled a pony. Its coat was grey and brown, but its head was split in three. It had horns for feet, and its teeth were cotton.

And it was pissed.

“No matter what I do, I can never seem to get ponies to take me seriously!” It grumbled as it walked around the forest. “They see my head, they scream.” The creature stopped and sighed. “They see my teeth, they laugh.”

The creature looked up at the clear, night sky. “How did this happen again?”

“Okay, before we begin,” a tri-headed, serpentine creature said as it lay out several different types of teeth, “you must pick your-”

“I want cotton candy!” A young, tri-headed pony said.

“You moron! Now your teeth will be cotton!” The serpentine creature yelled.

“Yeah, I think that’s how it went.”

The creature continued to walk around until it happened upon a cottage. “Maybe the owner will let me stay the night. The last one wasn’t very nice,” it thought aloud. “The last thing I need is to deal with the royal guard.”

The creature took a deep breath and walked up the cottage door.

Knock, knock, knock

Okay, just play it cool, It thought. When they see your face, just… crap, I didn’t think this through.

Slowly, the door creaked open.

“Hello?” An earth pony asked from within a dark hallway. It gasped and stuttered as it asked, “W-What are you?”

“Uh, hey!” The creature said. “I hail from Tartarus!”

The pony’s eyes widened and it fell to the floor.

“Uh… buddy? You okay?” The creature trotted over to the body and nudged it. “Are you alright?”

The pony remained motionless.

“Crap… he’s not alright.”

“Honey, are you okay down there?” a mare called from upstairs.

“Uh-oh,” the creature said as a door upstairs opened. In a flash of dark red light, the creature teleported outside and hid in a nearby bush.

“Carpenter!” The mare inside shrieked.

Sometimes, I hate my good looks, the creature thought to itself as it snuck away from the house. Oh well, maybe somepony else will let me stay the night.

A short while later, the tri-headed creature arrived at a small house at the edge of a forest.

“Okay,” the creature said. “Just play it cool, don’t draw attention to your face, and be polite.”

The creature walked up to the door and knocked on it. A small bead of sweat rolled down its middle head.

The front door swung open. A unicorn mare with an orange coat and a candle for a cutie mark stood with a sour look on her face. “Residence of Daisy Blossom,” She growled. “What do you want?”

The creature jumped back slightly. “Whoa, what’s your problem?”

Daisy’s eyes shot open as she got a better look at the creature. “W-What... What…”

“Um… are you okay?” The creature asked.

“What… what in the world are you!?” Daisy asked, her her face now contorted in disgust..

“I’m a pony,” the creature said. “Now, can I stay the night?”

Daisy stood in the doorway, flabbergasted. “No! No you cannot!” She exclaimed. “Besides, I’m reading! I don’t want some… monstrosity in my house while I read!”

“Well, aren’t you just a charmer,” The creature said, “but I don’t want to freeze out here. So please, find it in your heart to let me stay.”

Daisy slammed the door and locked it.

“This. Means. War!”

With a huff, the creature reared onto its hind horns and tri-head butted the door.

Crash!

Daisy shrieked from within her living room. “Please don’t kill me!” She screamed.

The tri-headed pony looked at Daisy. “Kill? I just want a place to stay so I don’t freeze to death out here!” It trotted over to the shaking mare. “Please, can I stay?”

Daisy looked up at the freak of nature. Despite its head being split in three, its mouth moved as one, and it’s eyes glowed a faint red.

“Well?” It asked.

Daisy fainted.

“I guess that means ‘yes’.”

With a tri-smile, the creature trotted over to Daisy’s couch and hopped onto it. “Leather! My favorite!” It said as it lay on its back.

As the creature lay there, the right portion of its head glanced over at the coffee table. On it was a bowl full of chocolate. “Oooh, I haven’t had that in years,” it said as the head grabbed onto the bowl and brought it over.

As the tri-headed devouring of chocolate began, Daisy awoke and looked over. Her eyes shot open in horror. “My chocolate!” She shrieked. “I was saving that for later tonight!”

“Uh… sorry.” The creature placed the bowl back onto the table. “If you’d like-”

“Just shut up and please let me be.”

The tri-headed pony folded it’s fore-horns, an indignant look on its three faces. “I’m sorry that I didn’t want to freeze to death.”

“With how you look,” Daisy said as she lifted her head up, “you’d probably be better off dead.”

“You don’t have to be so rude,” the creature growled. “Besides, you’re no spring chicken yourself.”

Daisy stood up and stomped over to the creature. “Hey, you’re the freaky monster here!” Daisy growled as she glared at the creature. “You’re also the one who broke in!”

“Fair point.”

Daisy fell to the floor.

“Did you faint again?”

“No, I just can’t believe what’s happening,” Daisy said as she looked back up at the creature in disbelief. “Now, please tell me, what are you?” She asked. “Are you from Tartarus?”

“You called me a ‘monstrosity’ earlier,” the tri-headed pony said with a scowl. “Why should I tell you what I really am?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll vaporize you,” Daisy said as her horn lit up.

“Whoa, getting aggresive are we?” The creature said in shock. “Calm down, I’m not going to kill you.”

“I should trust a freak like you why?” Daisy asked.

“Okay, will you please stop with the name calling?, It does hurt, even if I’m not the most appealing of creatures.”

“I don’t need to listen to you!” Daisy yelled as she fired off a magic bolt.

The creature effortlessly slouched down on the couch as the bolt struck the wall behind it. “You have some serious anger issues,” it said.

“Just tell me what in Celestia’s name you are!” Daisy screamed at the top of her lungs, her horn now glowing even brighter.

The creature covered its ears. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you!” It screamed back. “I escaped from Tartarus after Cerberus ran off. Now, will you let me stay?” It asked with a cotton-toothy grin.

Daisy’s horn stopped glowing as she giggled violently. “W-Wait, what’s with your teeth?” She asked.

The demon folded its fore-horns. “I may have shouted something stupid when I was… born,” it said. “So I got stuck with this.”

Daisy fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. “Oh, that’s rich,” She said as she kicked the air. “Tell me, do you bleed frosting?”

“No,” the tri-headed demon growled. “I do not-” it raised its two fore-horns in the air- “bleed frosting,” it mockingly replied as it attempted to make air quotes.

“That’s a shame,” Daisy replied as she finally collected herself. “It would’ve made you all the less-”

“Just stop right there,” the demon interrupted. “I really don’t care.” It stood up and walked over to Daisy. “I do, however, have a fun idea.”

“And what would that be?” Daisy asked.

“You said you didn’t want me in your house, right?” The demon asked. “Well, I’ve got an idea: If you can catch me within a half hour, I’ll leave and never bother you again.”

“And if I don’t?” Daisy asked.

“I stay for the night.”

“No,” Daisy said. “I won’t play your stupid game.”

“Alright,” the demon said. “Then I’ll stay the night and I’ll leave-” a magic bolt flew past its right head, and struck the wall. “- tomorrow morning…” The demon angrily glared at Daisy.

“Not tomorrow.” Daisy fired off another bolt at the tri-headed pony, which missed. “Now!” She fired off another bolt, which grazed the demons left head.

“Why don’t you want me here?” The demon asked as it rubbed where the bolt grazed it. “Honestly, all I want to do is not freeze to death.”

“Because I don’t like other ponies,” Daisy growled. “I hate being around them. You aren’t even a pony, which makes it worse!”

“Well, if you want me out,” The demons front two horns glowed a dark red, “catch me!” In a flash of bright red magic, the demon vanished.

Daisy flinched at the sudden flash. “Sweet Celestia, I hate my life,’ She growled. “Might as well check the basement first.”

The demon appeared in the basement below. She’ll never think to look in her basement, it thought. I’m the smartest-

Creeeak

-demon ever… The demon let out a soft sigh as it heard Daisy descend into the basement.

“Ah-hah!” Daisy said as she poked her head over the banister. “I found you! Now, leave!”

“I said you had to catch me, you ninny.” The demon’s fore-horns lit up. “Not find me.” With a smirk, the demon teleported behind Daisy and ran up the basement steps.

Daisy looked behind her in time to see the basement door close shut. “Hey! You’re cheating!”

“You expected a demon to play fair?” The demon said from the other side of the door. “I’m absolutely shocked!” With a tri-smile, it locked the door. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to enjoy that wonderful chocolate of yours.”

Daisy growled angrily. Her horn lit up as she charged up a powerful a powerful magic blast.

Boom!

The blast blew the basement door off its hinges. “Get back here!” Daisy screamed as she teleported up into the hallway. “Where are you?”

“Mm, this is delicious,” the demon said from in the living room. It lay on the couch with look of glee on its face. “Hey, do you have any ice cream?”

Daisy stormed into the living room and a vicious right hook to the demons center head. “There, I caught you!”

The demon looked up at the unicorn. Her eyes were full of rage and fury. “I don’t wanna leave,” it said. “I quite like it here. It’s cozy and your food’s wonderful.”

“You said you’d leave if I caught you.” Daisy growled. “Now, get lost.”

“Oh, you’re serious.” The tri-headed demon stood up and looked down at Daisy. “I’m going to be blunt here.” The demon inhaled and yelled, ”I’m not leaving. You trusted a demon, that’s your own fault!”

Daisy stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor. “Okay then.” She stood back up and shot a glare at the demon, who had gone back to laying on the couch. “What if I kill you?”

The demons left eye shot open. “Excuse me?” It asked. “You realize I’m only staying the night, right?”

Daisy nodded. “And I have no desire to share my house with anypony, She said coldly. “Especially some three headed freak from Tartarus!”

“You’re crazy,” the demon replied with a slight chuckle. “You realize that, right?”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Tell me, have you ever killed another pony for wanting to hang out?” The demon asked.

“You aren’t the first intruder I’ve had,” Daisy said as her horn lit up. “Just like them, I’ll hide your body in the attic!”

“O-kay then.” The demon stood up and stretched its necks. “Show me what you can do.”

Daisy grit her teeth as she fired off several magic bolts in rapid succession.

The demon watched as the bolts flew passed it and blasted away portions of the couch and wall. “You’re a horrible shot,” it remarked. As it turned its attention back to Daisy, a large bolt struck it head on, sending the tri-shocked demon flying through the wall.

Daisy teleported to the demons side, who now lay on a top stair leading down to the basement. “For a demon, you’re remarkably weak,” She said as she prepared to fire another blast.

“I was always more into being playful, not fighting,” the demon said as it swung a horn at Daisy’s forelegs, tripping her and causing her to roll down the stairs. “Of course, I did learn a few things from watching other demons fight each other.”

The rage-filled mare landed on the basement floor and quickly stood up. “Just leave me alone!” She screamed as her horn glowed white.

The demon’s eyes widened. “Oh crap,” it muttered as an enormous bolt of magic flew towards it.

BOOM

The demon flew out the back door and landed in the grass. “Ow,” it muttered.

Daisy teleported out from a giant hole that used to be the central portion of the house. “How are you not dead?” She asked.

“I’m a demon,” the tri-injured demon said. “I’m pretty sure only an Alicorn can kill me.”

“Oh.”

The demon stood up and tri-shook its heads. “Now, why don’t you die!” The demon reared into its hind-horns and shot off two beams of magic

Daisy teleported out of the way. Behind her, she could hear a loud explosion. I should’ve listened to mom and bought insurance. She turned her attention back to the demon, who was admiring the explosion.

Daisy head butted the demon. Her horn lit up and sent out a large beam of magic as it pierced its thick coat.

Daisy hurled the demon off of her horn and smiled as it may on the ground. “Hah, I didn’t have to be an Alicorn to kill you!” She said with a smug smile.

“... ow,” the demon groaned, facedown in the grass. “That hurt slightly more.”

Daisy’s now bloodshot eyes shot open again. “Come on!” She cried out. “Are you seriously not dead?!”

The demon stood up, it’s fore-horns glowing dark red. “Has anypony ever told you that you’re incredibly annoying?”

“Many times.”

“Good.” The demon reared up on its hind-horns and fired off two large beams of magic, which sent Daisy flying through her house. “Because you’re the most annoying pony I’ve ever met.”

The rage-filled mare crashed through her house and landed on her front lawn. She hissed as she tried to stand up. “Did I break something?” She asked weakly.

“You’ve got a bone sticking out of a hind leg,” the demon remarked as it teleported near her front door and walked over. “Also, a few other bones are popping out of your body, but I think you know that.”

Daisy felt the demon bite down on her tail. “What are you doing?” She asked weakly.

“Doing what you couldn’t do,” it snapped. “Besides, there’s no way you can survive, so call this mercy.”

Daisy looked at the demon, whose fore-horns glowed a dark red. She spit out blood and groaned in agony. “You suck.”

“You do too,” the demon replied as it teleported up to the cottage roof. “At fighting and at manners.”

“Bite me,” Daisy replied angrily.

“Will do when I end up back in Tartarus.” The demon jumped off the roof and slammed its horn-legs into Daisy’s body. Its fore-horns fired off two large beams of magic, which created two comically large holes in her body, and seared flesh from bone.

The demon looked down at Daisy’s remains. The lower portion of its body was covered in tufts of fur, blood, and chunks of flesh. “I wonder if she has a shower.

CRASH

The demon turned around.

Daisy’s house was nothing more than a pile of wood, having collapsed entirely.

The demons right eye twitched violently. It reared on its hind-horns and slammed its two fore-horns back into Daisy’s corpse. “Damn it!”

Author's Note

Leave a comment telling me what you thought about this chapter! It'd mean a whole lot to me!

K is for Kindle

On a clear, Summer evening in Neighbraska...

“I asked for this to be done an hour ago!” A purple coated unicorn stallion with a large cigar for a cutie mark screamed. He slammed his forehooves onto his desk and glared angrily, his veins nearly popping out of his head. “Now, explain to me why it isn’t!”

“I-I’m sorry, Brent,” a young earth pony stallion said as tears streamed down his face. “Y-You see, the copying machine was out of ink, and-”

“Oh, shut up,” Brent growled. He levitated a coffee cup up to his lips and took a sip of it before he hurled it at the cowering employee. “If you can’t be bothered to go and get more ink from a fucking supply closet, then give me a reason why I shouldn’t fire your worthless ass right now!”

“B-But there was no ink in the supply closet,” the stallion whimpered. “I checked everywhere!”

Brent cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, really now?” He asked. “Well, then let me ask you this.” The stallion cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. “Why didn’t you go buy some from the store down the street instead of wasting my damn time?!”

“I barely make enough bits to get by,” the stallion whimpered, “and you want me to spend what little I pay on restocking your ink?”

Brent nodded and glared angrily. “Do you have a problem with that?”

The stallion nodded.

“Then you’re fired!” Brent slammed his forehooves on the desk again. “You worthless sack of crap!”

Meanwhile, outside in the break room stood two earth ponies. One with a sky-blue coat and a stack of papers for a cutie mark, and one with a light green coat and a pen for a cutie mark, watched as the young stallion hurried out of Brent’s office, his eyes red from crying.

“Geez, that’s the fifth intern we’ve gone through this month,” the sky-blue coated earth pony stallion said. “Here I thought we couldn’t beat last month’s record.”

The bright green coated one turned to his co-worker. “Cylen, Brent has beaten his record ever since he took over as the head of this damned company,” He said. “First, it was two, then three, then four.”

“True,” Cylen replied. “Why hasn’t somepony reported his behavior?”

“I think it’s because he has ties to really powerful ponies,” the green coated stallion said. “At least, that’s what I heard.”

“Oh well, not my problem,” Cylen said.

“And if he fires us?”

“Zeke,” Cylen said with a blank expression, “We get paid little to nothing.”

“Your point?” Zeke asked

“We could be next in line to run the company.”

“I still don’t see your point.”

“We’re high up on the food chain, and we get paid nearly the same as an intern.”

“And if you get promoted to CEO, you can change that!” Zeke said happily.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be CEO, I’d rather slack off like I usually do,” Cylen replied. “For all I care, Brent can throw me out a window.”

“How did you ever get to this position again?”

“Our last boss was as smart as a plate of scrambled eggs,” Cylen remarked. “Heck, I don’t even know what my job is.”

“How have you not been fired?!” Zeke yelled.

“Brent’s usually too busy being angry to acknowledge my existence.” Cylen chuckled to himself. “I do question how other higher ups haven’t caught on, though.”

Zeke walked over to a wall and slammed his head against it. “Oh, Celestia please save this company.”

“I don’t think she cares,” Cylen said. “If she did, she would’ve probably torched this place to the ground.”

Zeke turned around and glared at Cylen. “It’s an expression.”

“She still doesn’t care.”

“Fine, if you wanna be like that, how about Luna?”

“I think she cares less.”

“Fine,” Zeke said. “How about Mi amore Cadenza?”

“Who?”

Zeke shook his head. “Crystal empire?”

“Never heard of it,” Cylen said. “Where’s that?”

“Never mind,” Zeke said. “What about Princess Twilight?”

“Maybe she’d care a bit,” Cylen said. “Wait, is she the one who raises the moon?”

Zeke’s right eye twitched. “Cylen.”

“Yes?”

“You’re hopeless.”

“My mother told me that a lot.”

Zeke fell to the floor and buried his face in-between his forelegs.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” A pony growled. “Slacking off, I see.”

Zeke jumped up and turned around. “O-Oh, hey Brent!” He said nervously. “Cylen and I were just on break, and I, uh-”

“Can it,” Brent growled. “Get back to work.”

“Our break doesn’t end for another ten minutes,” Cylen said. “What gives?”

“Aren’t you the moron who works in marketing?” Brent asked. “The one who does nothing unless somepony knocks on your office door?”

“Uh… no?” Cylen said nervously. “That’s, uh, somepony who looks like me.”

Zeke rolled his eyes and sighed. “Brent, why don’t-”

“And aren’t you the idiot who couldn’t be bothered to file papers because he was whining about a headache and allergies?”

“Hey, I can’t help that I’m allergic to pollen!” Zeke snapped.

“Oh, boohoo.” Brent turned his back to the two employees and waved his hoof. “I already fired somepony today, so I’ll let you two off the hook.” The boss turned his head and grinned. “Until tomorrow, then you’re fired.”

Zeke stared slack jawed as his boss walked away, a smug grin on his face.

“Welp, time to pack my things,” Cylen said as he walked away. “Talk to you later, Zeke!”

Zeke shook his head. “You don’t care you just lost your job?” He asked. “Like, at all?”

Cylen turned around to face Zeke. “Did you forget I said that we get paid little to nothing?” He asked. “I’m pretty sure the local bakery pays more. I’ll get a job there.”

“And your cutie mark?”

Cylen cocked an eyebrow. “What about it?”

“A stack of papers and a bakery. What do they have in common?”

“Well, maybe I can file tax returns for them,” Cylen said with a small smile.

Zeke walked over to a nearby table and bashed his head against it. “You’re the dumbest pony I’ve ever met!”

“My father told me that a lot.”

“Just stop,” Zeke grumbled. “I’m going to go and try to talk things over with Brent.”

“Wait, what?” Cylen laughed. “Why do you want to do that?”

“I don’t want to lose my job!” Zeke snapped. “And before you mention our pay, I don’t give a crap.”

Cylen chuckled to himself. “Whatever,” He said as he turned his back to his co-worker. “Tell me how your little chat with the boss-man goes.”

“Will do,” Zeke said as he made his way to Brent’s office.

Knock, knock, knock

“Huh?” Brent grunted. “Who is it?”

“It’s Zeke.”

“Come in,” the boss said, a sour expression on his face.

Zeke opened the door and quickly shut it. “I, uh, want to speak to you about earlier.”

Brent cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, really now?” He sardonically asked. “And why do you want to do that?”

“Well, I want to know why you fired me,” Zeke nervously said. “I was on my break.”

Brent narrowed his eyes. “Your point?”

“I was on my break!” Zeke yelled. “What reason was there to fire me?!”

“You weren’t working,” Brent said. “That’s my reason.”

“It was my break!” Zeke slammed his forehooves onto his bosses desk. “You can’t fire me for that!”

Brent slammed his forehooves onto his desk. “And I’m the boss of this company, so I can do as I please!” He snapped back. “If you have an issue with that, go start your own company and run it as you see fit!”

“It was my-”

Brent shoved a hoof into Zeke’s mouth. “You’ve said that four times now you dumbass!” He yelled. “And, for the last time, I don’t care!” The boss removed his hoof from Zeke’s mouth and slammed it back onto his desk. “Now, do you have anything worthwhile to say or are you going to continue to waste my time?”

Zeke shook his head ‘no’. “But this isn’t over,” He growled. “Prick.”

“Same to you,” Brent growled back.

Zeke stood up and stormed out of his bosses office. As he slammed the door behind him, Brent levitated a cigar box out from his desk and lit one. “That foal is unbelievable,” He said to himself.

Zeke walked back to his desk and sat down. What can I do? He thought. I can’t lose my job, not after all I’ve done here!

“Hey, buddy,” A voice called from behind the lost-in-thought pony. “Equus to Zeke!”

Zeke turned around to see Cylen making odd motions with his forehooves. “What are you doing?” He asked his co-worker. “Trying to cast some sort of spell on me?”

“No, it’s supposed to be a space stallion trying to contact somepony.”

Zeke tilted his head. “Huh?”

“You know, from those science-fiction books?”

“Wait, you can read?” Zeke asked with a smirk. “I’m shocked.”

Cylen glared at his co-worker. “Shut up,” He said as he walked towards him. “I wanted to ask you how your meeting went with the boss-man.”

“This couldn’t wait until after we get out of work?”

Cylen waved a hoof at Zeke. “If I’m going to get fired, why should I even bother working?”

“Because it’s still technically your job!” Zeke yelled. “That’s why!”

Cylen rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” He said nonchalantly. “Just tell me how your meeting went and then I’ll ‘go back to work’.”

“It went poorly.”

“Great to hear!” Cylen exclaimed. “See ya!”

Zeke looked at his co-worker with a frown. “You don’t care?”

“Hah, if you got us to keep our jobs, I was going to be pissed,” Cylen beamed. “Honestly, this is the best news I’ve heard since our last boss got fired!

“I didn’t even want you to keep your job,” Zeke said. “I just want to keep mine. You can become homeless for all I care.”

“Why do you care so much about this job?” Cylen asked, ignoring his co-worker’s remark. “You sit in this office and review a whole lot of nothing. Honestly, can you tell me a single thing you didn’t nearly fall asleep reading?”

“Hey, I got my cutie mark when I was an intern here!” Zeke yelled. “It’s my destiny to work here!”

Cylen rolled his eyes. “Whoopty-doo, you got your cutie mark here,” He mockingly said. “You also get paid two bits an hour.”

“So do you!”

“Yeah, and I’m not terribly fond of it,” Cylen replied. “In fact, I hate it.”

“That’s besides the point!” Zeke yelled. “The point is, I refuse to lose this job! It’s my destiny!”

“Oh, good grief,” Cylen said. “Cut me a break. You got your cutie mark here, woo-hoo. There are dozens of other places like this one in Equestria. Get a job there.”

“Shut up!” Zeke snapped. “This is the place I got it, so I’m staying here!”

“Will you please stop repeating yourself?” Cylen asked. “Your argument holds no damn water,” He sternly said. “It doesn’t help you’re acting like a damn foal who didn’t get a toy.”

“You’re one to talk about acting like a foal,” Zeke said. “You never do anything worthwhile!”

“Don’t you think that’s rather harsh?” Cylen asked. “I mean, I did once create a mean marketing campaign for a book.”

“You painted a smiley face on a banner… for a book about a bunch of fillies and colts getting slaughtered during a sleepover.”

“It was creative, no?”

“It got deemed the worst marketing campaign since you put a bunch of hay on a billboard to advertise a movie about a tornado tearing through Fillydelphia.”

“Hey, you helped with that one!” Cylen snapped.

“Yeah, I had to convince you not to restrict the advertisement to flyers!” Zeke yelled. “Face it Cylen, you’re an utter failure of an employee and should’ve been fired on day one,” Zeke continued. “It baffles me why Brent didn’t fire you earlier.”

Cylen rolled his eyes and laughed. “You’re not so special yourself,” He said. “Your position could be filled by an otter.”

“You take that back!” Zeke snapped. “My position is very important!”

“Which is why there’s only one person who does your job, right?” Cylen asked.

Zeke got up and stormed up to his co-worker. “Because you’re one to talk about doing his job, right?”

“I actually meant that your position is nothing special,” Cylen replied. “But, since you mention it, at least I can say I’ve accomplished something in my time here,” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah, you accomplished consistent failure,” Zeke said. “Good job! I’m sure your family is very proud of you.”

“My teacher-”

“I don’t actually care.”

“My therapist told me that a lot.”

“Just leave,” Zeke said. “You’re wasting my time.”

“About time,” Cylen said. “I was getting bored.”

“Out!” Zeke yelled.

“Okay!” Cylen said as he left Zeke’s office, slamming the door behind him.

Zeke walked back to his desk. “I can’t stand that stupid pony,” He said with a heavy sigh.

Meanwhile, Cylen walked back to his office. I can’t believe the things Zeke said to me, He thought. Then again, I can’t believe that my last boss thought it’d be a good idea to build a golden statue of himself holding an apple pie in the lobby.

Cylen walked back into his office and hopped onto his chair. “Oh boy, work,” He said as he looked at a few papers on his desk. He picked one up and looked over it. “Marketing details, marketing tactics, blah, blah, blah,” He said. “Same shit, different day.”

As the marketer sat at his desk, a thought hit him. “Maybe I can prove to Zeke that I can work hard,” He said to himself as he continued to stare blankly at the papers. Without reading any, he grabbed a random one.

Return of the Dead Ponies

“A movie?” Cylen asked himself. “I guess… umm…” Cylen tapped his chin and read over the paper.

Numerous numbers, ideas, and names were listed. “This makes no sense!” The marketer whined. “How in Celestia’s name would you market a movie about dead ponies?”

~~~

“Get your life-size chunks of dead pony flesh!” A pony yelled from a street corner. “And see Return of the Dead Ponies this Nightmare Night!”

~~~

“Nah, that’s stupid,” Cylen said as he continued to think.

~~~

A group of ponies waited outside a store, when dozens of shambling, decaying ponies burst out of the doors.

A few ponies ran, while others cowered in fear.

Though a couple keeled over dead from fright.

“This was Cylen Markethooves idea,” a pony— still in his makeup— told a reporter. “He funded this idea.”

~~~

Cylen sighed and punched his desk. “Ow,” He whimpered as shook his hoof. “There has to be a good idea in my head somewhere.

~~~

“Okay stallions,” Shining Armor said proudly as he stood in front of several Royal Guard troops. “As a part of some marketing gimmick, we’re going to raise dozens of dead ponies.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” One guard pony asked.

“We’re getting paid a lot to do this,” Shining replied. “Now, at the count of three…”

Within seconds, all of the Royal Guard was devoured when numerous cave ponies were raised, much to their shock.

~~~

“Maybe Zeke was right,” the marketer said with a sigh. “Maybe I am a failure.”

Knock, knock, knock

“Who is it?” Cylen asked.

“Your boss,” Brent said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Brent said as he entered the marketers office. “Have you got anything for that movie?”

“Nope.”

“You’re pathetic,” the boss said with a glare.

“My sister told me that a lot.”

“She was right,” Brent replied as he slammed Cylen’s door.

Cylen rolled his eyes and went back to staring at the paper.

And he stared.

And stared.

Until finally…

“Wait, why do I care?” Cylen asked himself. “I’m going to get fired,” He said. “Stupid Zeke making me work as if I give a damn about my job.”

The marketer looked down at the paper and groaned. “Screw it, I give up,” He said as he wrote down a bunch of numbers. “There.”

With a smile, the marketer grabbed the paper and ran to Brent’s office.

Knock, knock

“What?” Brent grunted.

Cylen opened the door and tossed the paper to Brent. “There,” He said. “Have fun.”

“Hey, wait,” Brent said.

“What?” Cylen asked.

Brent levitated two envelopes to the marketer. “It’s yours and Zeke’s severance pay,” Brent said. “Mind delivering his?”

“Uhh... why can’t you?”

“I need to review your paper here?”

“Oh,” Cylen nervously replied. “Alrighty.”

“Indeed,” Brent grunted. “Now, piss off. I need to unfortunately look over what you bothered to write.”

“Okay, boss-man,” Cylen said as he forced a smile. “Have fun.” With that, Cylen quickly left Brent’s office, a nervous look on his face.

Brent rolled his eyes, looked down at the paper, and read over it. “Dumbass.” He shook his head and levitated a cigar to himself. “That foal doesn’t know a thing about marketing,” He said as he lit up the cigar.

Meanwhile, Zeke sat quietly behind his desk. There has to be some way I can keep my job, He thought. Maybe I can force him to keep me.

Zeke’s face lit up. Yes, that’s it. I’ll pressure him into keeping me! He thought as he happily clapped his hooves together. But how?

Zeke sat back in his chair and tapped his chin. “Maybe I can just beat him,” He said to himself. “Though he’s a damn unicorn, he can zap me.”

Knock, knock

“Door’s open,” Zeke said as he continued to tap his chin

Cylen tossed Zeke’s check to him. “Brent wanted me to give that to you,” He said.

Zeke picked up the check and stared at it. “Oh,” He whispered as held back the urge to scream. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Cylen replied. “So, are you feeling better?” He asked with a half-smile.

Zeke burst into laughter. “Am I okay?!” He asked as he walked over to his desk and swiped it clean. “Of course I’m not you dumbass!” He screamed. “I lost my job for the dumbest reason and you ask if seeing my severance pay makes me feel better?!”

Cylen flinched. “I’m sorry,” He said. “I was hopeful you’d maybe calmed down from earlier.”

“I don’t need your sympathy,” Zeke growled. “Especially not after you attacked me.” Zeke sat down at his desk and buried his face in-between his forehooves.

“Face it, Zeke,” Cylen said sternly, “you’re not getting your job back.”

Zeke jerked his head up and glared at his co-worker. “You don’t know that!” He yelled. “Maybe this is just a test to see who’s the most dedicated to their job!”

“That’s crazy talk!” Cylen snapped. “Face it, Brent’s just an ass who fired us for no reason.”

“Crazy talk?” Zeke asked with a chuckle. “No, no. I’m the sane one! You’re bonkers!”

“Okay, oh sane one,” Cylen mockingly said. “What’s your plan to keep your job?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“That your way of saying ‘I have no plan’?” Cylen asked. “Because if it is, I’m not shocked “

“No, I have a plan,” Zeke said. “I refuse to share it because you’ll ruin it.”

“Uh-huh,” Cylen said. “Well, I’m going to get something to eat.” Cylen nervously inched his way to his co-workers door. “So, if you need me, I’ll be in the cafeteria.”

“Just leave you moron,” Zeke said. “I don’t give a crap.”

“Alright then,” Cylen said as he quickly ran out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

Zeke glared at the check. “I’m shocked he didn’t use this as a cigarette,” He said as he threw it aside. “Jerk smokes so much, I’m amazed he hasn’t died from it.”

A lightbulb went off in Zeke’s head. “Wait… that’s it.” He said with a sinister grin. “That’s how I’ll make him keep me as an employee.”

Zeke stood up and grabbed his check. “I’ll show that good for nothing bastard to fire me,” He said as he stormed out of his office. Maybe he’ll even promote me for my dedication to keeping my job. With a sinister grin, Zeke quickly made his way to his bosses office.

Brent sat in his office as he reviewed a few papers. “Garbage, garbage, and more garbage,” He grunted to himself as he chewed on a cigar. “I swear, nopony can do anything in this damned building.”

Crash!

Brent’s door nearly flew off its hinges as Zeke stormed into his boss’s office.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Brent asked as he took a long drag of his cigar. “As you may be incapable of seeing over your lowly, marketer mind, I’m very busy.”

Zeke stormed up to his boss and pressed his muzzle against his. “You’re going to let me keep my job,” He growled, “or that door is just the beginning.”

Brent pushed Zeke away and blew smoke in his face. “You’re hysterical,” Brent deadpanned “Get out of my office, and shut the door on your way out.”

Zeke shook his head. “Did you not hear me?”

“Yeah, I did,” the boss said as he took another drag of his cigar. “Why do you think I said ‘You’re hysterical’?”

Zeke swiped his bosses desk clean and slammed his hooves onto it. “Listen, dipshit!” He screamed. “Give me back my job or I will burn this whole building down!”

“Overreaction much?” Brent said. “I’ve already told you that you aren’t getting your job back,” He said with a glare. “Now, out.”

Zeke slammed his hoof onto the desk. “Why aren’t you taking me seriously!?” He shouted. “I swear to Celestia, I will burn you and this building down!”

Brent laughed hysterically. “I’ve had ponies tell me they’ll slit my throat, shoot me, light me on fire, that they’d kill my family, and so many other horrible things,” He said through his laughter. “Piss off, Eko.”

“It’s Zeke!”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Brent blew more smoke into Zeke’s face. “Point is: you’re not getting a damn thing from me.”

Zeke stormed around and ripped Brent’s cigar out from his mouth. “Give me back my job you bastard!” He yelled as he slammed the cigar onto Brent’s left cheek. “Now!”

“Sweet Celestia!” Brent screamed out in pain. He threw a sharp, right hook and struck Zeke’s right eye, causing the raging earth pony to stagger back. “What the Tartarus was that for?” He screamed.

“You won’t give me my job back?” Zeke said as he regained his balance. “Then I’ll force you to give it back to me!”

“You’re going to jail once this is all over!” Brent yelled as he made a beeline for the door.

“Oh no you don’t!” Zeke yelled as he head-butted his former boss in the ribs. “You tell anypony, and we both die!” He yelled as he pinned him down.

“Get off of me!” Brent fired off a small magic bolt, which struck Zeke’s mouth.

“That’s the second time that’s happened,” Zeke said with a half smile. “But dedication makes a good employee, right?”

“You’re completely insane,” Brent said as he stood up.

Zeke shook his head. “Just dedicated,” He said. “C’mon, I’ll do anything to keep my job.”

“For the final time,” Brent said, “you’re not getting-” Brent cut himself off as a thought hit him. “Wait, anything?”

“Yes, anything,” Zeke said with a smile.

Brent teleported to his desk and grabbed his lighter. “Here, hold this.”

Zeke looked at the lighter. “Why?”

“I’ll give you a new job if you hold it.”

“Really?” Zeke beamed.

Brent fired off a magic bolt, which hit the lighter, causing it to explode into flames.

“You’re now my personal lighter,” Brent said as he walked over and held a cigar over the burning pony.

Cylen whistled a nameless tune as he walked down the hallway. “Well, now I’ve gotta look for-” He stopped mid sentence when he saw Brent’s door wide open, and a group of ponies looking in.

Cylen ran up and looked in, and saw dozens of ponies roasting marshmallows over a burning pony. “What’s going on in here?” Cylen asked.

“Your pal Zeke generously offered to become my personal lighter,” Brent said as he levitated a marshmallow to Cylen. “Want one?”

Cylen ran away screaming.

“Meh, more for us!” Brent announced as the crowd of ponies cheered.

L is for Lithium

On a cloudy, Autumn afternoon in central Idahoof, a unicorn stallion with a yellow coat and a battery for a cutie mark stood inside a shed.

And in front of him was a giant battery.

“Okay, Lyndon, we need to do one more thing!” The stallion said as he turned around.

Lyndon, a unicorn stallion with a coconut colored coat and a power drill for a cutie mark, stared blankly at the giant battery. “Cherin,” he said as he shook his head, “what more could you possibly add to this eyesore?”

“We need”- Cherin narrowed his eyes dramatically- “electrical things.”

“Uhhh… what?” Lyndon asked. “It's already a battery, why do we need electrical things?”

“This battery,” Cherin began, his voice unnecessarily dramatic, “is going to… umm… wait, why'd I make this thing again?”

“You got sick of running out of batteries,” Lyndon said, “so you decided to make a giant one to charge things.”

“Oh, right!” Cherin exclaimed. “Anyways, we need electrical things so it may be even stronger!”

“I don't think that's how batteries work,” Lyndon said. “Wouldn't that just create needless clutter?”

“Nonsense,” Cherin said. “I’ve done this many times before.”

“Right, and I've flown with the Wonderbolts many times before.”

“You have?!”

“Yes,” Lyndon deadpanned. “Yes I have.”

“That's amazing!” Cherin said with a giant grin.

“What’s amazing is that you actually think I'm serious.”

Cherin’s grin quickly faded. “Oh… well, anyways,” he said awkwardly, “we need to get things like flashlights, light bulbs, and batteries!”

“Wait, batteries?” Lyndon asked. “Why do you want batteries if you just built one?”

“Silly Lyndon,” Cherin said as he pointed to the electronic abomination in front of the duo. “I'm going to attach those various things to my beautiful creation and turn it on!” Cherin said with a wicked grin. “For when I do, I will have unlimited energy!”

Lyndon pulled Cherin closely and pressed his muzzle against his “That makes no fucking sense, what is wrong with you, you imbecile?!

Cherin pushed Lyndon away. “Why the anger?”

Lyndon paced around the shed and took a deep breath. “I swore you were making this to act as a charger.”

“Well, you see,” Cherin said, “I don't know the difference.”

“I can't believe we're related.” Lyndon walked towards the shed door and opened it. “I need a moment to contemplate how I've gotten here.”

“Have fun!”

“Screw you!”

Inside Cherin's small condo, Lyndon flopped onto a couch and stared blankly at the wall. I loathe when my brother visits, he thought. Maybe if I just talk to myself in my head, I can drown out-

“Lyndon, did you find anything in there?”

I hate my life.

“Hey, little bro, did you find anything?”

“I think I'm going to eat my hoof now,” Lyndon said, “in hopes that the blood loss makes it so I don't have to endure your nonsensical bull crap!”

“Somepony’s really grumpy,” Cherin said as he entered the house.

“Maybe it's because I wasted my entire morning building a worthless battery in my shed!” Lyndon yelled. “Think that might have something to do with it?”

“Nope.”

Lyndon grabbed a pillow and slammed it against his head. “Oh, come the fuck on, Cherin!” He growled. “You may be naive and oblivious, but this is too much!”

“I think I know just how to fix this,” Cherin said as he teleported to his little brother's side. “A hug always cheers you up!”

“I swear if you lay a hoof on me, I’ll mail your head on a pike to Princess Celestia with a declaration of war in one of your eye sockets!”

“No you won't.”

“Yes I will.”

“No, you won't.”

“Yes, I fucking will!”

Cherin laughed. “I know you won't,” He said with a smirk.

“How do you know?” Lyndon growled.

“Because you're too much of a coward.”

Lyndon's eye twitched. “You're… right,” he grumbled.

“I told you,” Cherin said as he hugged his little brother.

Lyndon hugged his brother. “I hate you so much,” he muttered under his breath.

“I love you too,” Cherin said with a smile. “Now, let's go find those electronic things!”

“Whoa now,” Lyndon said. “I'm not helping you!”

“But you promised!”

“When did I promise you?”

“This morning, remember?”

Lyndon put a hoof up to his chin and thought.

~~~

“Come on!” Cherin said as he bounced around the living room. “Let's go build a battery!”

Lyndon threw a book against a wall. “If I help you, do you promise to leave the second we find out it works instead of next week?”

“I swear on my life!” Cherin beamed.

“Fine, let's go.”

~~~

“Son of a bitch,” Lyndon said under his breath. “Fine, fine, let's go—again.”

“Woo-hoo!” Cherin said with a large smile. “This is going to be awesome!’

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Lyndon mumbled. “Just tell me what the first thing on your dumb list is.”

“Silly Lyndon,” Cherin said. “All of the things we need are in this house!”

“Then why can't you get them yourself?”

“Because you promised to-”

Lyndon shoved his hoof into his brother's mouth. “Okay, okay, fine,” He said as he removed his hoof from Cherin’s mouth. “Since I won't get the answer I want, why don't we split up?”

“Nope!” Cherin said. “We're going to do this together!”

“Ah, fuck,” Lyndon grumbled. “Okay, let's get… let's get the batteries first.”

“Yay!” Cherin said with a large smile. “Okay, if I'm not mistaken, the batteries are in your kitchen closet.”

Lyndon rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Okay, question,” he said. “Which closet?”

“Well, what was that big door near the entrance to the dining room?”

“That's called a pantry door.”

Cherin smiled. “Okay, check that one.”

“I thought we were doing this together,” Lyndon said. “Why am I checking it?”

“I'm hungry, and want to get something to eat.”

“You're unbelievable,” Lyndon muttered under his breath. “I don't care—just come with me so we can finish this stupid battery-”

“Charger,” Cherin interrupted.

“I don't care if it's a life support machine!” Lyndon snapped. “Now, if you correct me on that again, I swear I will use your spine to hold a pendulum for a clock!” In a huff, Lyndon stormed into his kitchen.

“Hmph.” Cherin folded his forelegs. “You're no fun.”

Lyndon stopped at the entrance to the kitchen and slowly turned around. “Thanks, neither are you,” He said. With that, Lyndon turned around and walked into the kitchen.

Lyndon looked around his kitchen. Alright, the batteries should be here, he thought as he approached a pantry door. A light brown glow surrounded the door as it opened up. “I’ve got your batte- Oh sweet Celestia!”

Cherin teleported to the entrance of the kitchen. “What is it?” He asked. “Are you hurt?”

“Even worse!” Lyndon said as he took several shaky steps back. “It's… it's an Earwig!”

Cherin looked down at the batteries and chuckled. “So?”

“It's horrifying!”

“No it isn't,” Cherin said. “It's harmless you big baby.”

“Kill it!” Lyndon yelled before he teleported into his dining room, and ran into a corner.

Cherin levitated the insect off of the battery and walked to the backdoor. “Here you go, little guy,” he said as he let the Earwig onto the ground. “Have fun!”

The Earwig looked up at the unicorn and wandered off—where, only a few hours later, it would get eaten by a larger animal.

With a smile, and a lack of knowledge as to what would happen to the insect he just saved, Cherin walked back to the kitchen. “You can come out how!” He said. “I saved the bug!”

“I told you to kill it!” Lyndon yelled. “Not set it free!”

“It's just a harmless bug,” Cherin said. “Besides, we got the batteries.”

“Fine, but you're carrying them around,” Lyndon said. “So, what's next?”

“Lightbulbs!” Cherin said. “Got any laying around?”

“Sure,” Lyndon said, “I just need a bright idea.”

Cherin smiled. “Okay, tell me when you get one.”

Lyndon's right eye twitched. “Just go grab a few from the lamps I have around my house,” he growled. “Before I shove one through your ears.”

Cherin frowned. “Ask nicely.”

“Damn it, Cherin, just go do it or I'll send you to the moon faster than Celestia sent her no-good sister!”

“Hey, I like Luna!”

“And I still don't trust her!”

“Why not?”

“Her hair makes me want to vomit!”

“Why?”

“Keep asking questions and you'll be eating through a tube!

Cherin grimaced. “Okay, okay,” He said. “Where are your lamps?”

“That's a question, genius!” Lyndon yelled. “Besides, aren't we suppose do to find these things together?”

Cherin teleported into the living room. “Not if you keep acting mean.”

Lyndon teleported into the living and fired a magic bolt at his ceiling. “Here, lightbulbs!” He said as he levitated down two lamps. “Ta-da!” Lyndon's eye twitched as he stared soullessly at his brother.

“Are you okay?” Cherin asked.

“Never better!”

“Um, well, you don't sound okay,” Cherin said as he backed away. “In fact, you're terrifying me.”

“I always act this way!” Lyndon proclaimed. “You're just over thinking things!”

“How am I doing that?”

“Well, you think I'm being mean, but this is how I show affection.” Lyndon tossed the lamps aside and threw his forelegs into the air. “La-dee-da!” He said as he spun around.

Cherin shook his head. He trotted up to his brother and shook him violently. “Snap out of it, Lyndon!”

“Never!” Lyndon yelled. “It's the only place I'm safe from you!

“Fine, you made me do this,” Cherin said as he raised a hoof.

POW

Lyndon fell backwards, unconscious.

Cherin looked down at his brother. No different than when he goes drinking, he thought as he hopped onto a couch.

A few hours —and a few nightmares about his brother living with him due to his house being crushed by a giant Princess Luna— later, Lyndon’s eyes slowly opened. “Oh, my head,” he groaned as he sat up. “What happened?”

Cherin looked down at his brother and laughed. “Well, you had a complete nervous breakdown,” he said. “I thought you were going to go crazy!”

“I know that,” Lyndon said as he stood up. “I want to know why my head feels like it got hit by a train.”

“Oh, I punched you.”

“You what?”

“I punched you.”

“Dick.”

“Oh, by the way,” Cherin said, “are you going to pay to get that repaired?”

Lyndon cocked an eyebrow. “Pay for what?”

Cherin pointed at the ceiling. “That.”

Lyndon looked up at the hole. “Oh.”

“Good going, Lyndon!” Cherin exclaimed. “By the way, what are we going to do about the lamps you threw?”

“Just take the light bulbs,” Lyndon said. “But if you break one, I'm going to bash one against your chest until I can play xylophone on your ribcage.”

Cherin levitated a lamp over and held it in front of his brother. “Oooh, I'm going to drop it,” he said with a smirk.

“Cherin, do you want to end up looking like a Picasso painting?”

Without a word, Cherin placed the lamp on the floor and unscrewed the light bulb.

“Thought so,” Lyndon said with a smug grin.

“Oh, I don't mind if I end up looking like one on principle,” Cherin said, “I just don't trust you to make me look like one of his good paintings.”

Lyndon, without a word, levitated a lamp over and unscrewed the bulb. Don't bash him upside the head, don't bash him upside the head.

“Of course, you could always make me look like graffiti!”

Don't bash him upside the head.

“Oh! Or you can make me look like macaroni art!”

“That isn't art, you numbskull! Lyndon yelled as he hurled a lamp at the wall.

Cherin looked at the shattered lamp, then back at his brother. “That's entirely on you.”

“Shut up.”

“I think macaroni art is real art.”

“I said 'shut up'!”

“You're not my mom!” Cherin said as he held back laughter.

Lyndon took a deep breath, stood up, and walked to the back door. “We have the same mom, moron!” He yelled before he bucked down the door. “And I think the same dad!”

Outside, Lyndon paced in a circle.

I thought it was supposed to be the young sibling who annoyed the older one, he thought. Why am I the one pony who has an older sibling whose brain is probably burnt hay and a dead star?

Lyndon sighed. It's amazing that that screw up built that stupid battery in his own—and never needed me to guide him through the process. Lyndon walked over to a large Maple Tree and sat under it. If only he wasn't so immature.

Lyndon rubbed his temples and sighed. If only that moron would just go-

“I got all of the light bulbs I need!” Cherin yelled. “Also, I'm not paying for your new door!”

-away. Lyndon shot a glare towards Cherin, who stood in the doorway. “Do you even have a single bit to your name?” Lyndon asked as his brother approached him.

“I’d like to think I have a fair amount,” Cherin said. “Of course, I doubt I can make you agree.”

“You'd be right,” Lyndon said. “Now, what do you want?”

“We've got to finish the battery!”

I know that, Sherlock,” Lyndon replied. “I mean, why are you out here, disturbing me?”

“Well, I was kind of concerned about you,” Cherin said. “I know you're prone to meltdowns when I get too goofy, but I've never seen you so… unstable.”

“Cherin, I love you,” Lyndon said. “I really do.”

Cherin smiled. “Thanks! I love you too!”

“Yeah, that's nice,” Lyndon said. “But you're also the most obnoxious and stupid pony I've ever met. One second, you're aware that you act like the dumbest son of a bitch on Equus. The next, you'll put a light bulb over your head in hopes you get a 'great’ idea!”

“Well, I'm sorry that I occasionally do dumb things,” Cherin said. “But they can lead to fun adventures!”

“Cherin, hiking and skiing are fun,” Lyndon said. “Trying to get a rubber glove to be a conductor of electricity isn't fun. It's stupid.”

“Yeah, but I learned something that day!” Cherin said. “Doesn't that count as something fun?”

“Cherin, you're a thirty-nine year old stallion who has a cutie mark in something that involves electricity,” Lyndon said. “How in Celestia's name did you not know rubber doesn't conduct electricity?!”

“Well, I… I might’ve fallen asleep on class a lot as a colt,” Cherin said sheepishly.

“Then how did you ever get your cutie mark?”

“I built a battery.”

“Out of what?”

“Lithium.”

“Wait, was this the day I asked why the house smelled of burnt wire, but you and mom wouldn't tell me why?”

Cherin remained silent.

“Well?”

“Um… yes.”

“I fucking knew you somehow managed to make something that blew up!” Lyndon exclaimed. “And go figure that she had a hoof in it! Tell me, did she also have a hoof in helping you get your stupid cutie mark?”

Cherin glared at his brother. “Hey, she isn't dumb!” He said. She's the entire reason I have my cutie mark.”

“And there you go again! You say stupid shit, but aren't fucking aware of it!” Lyndon yelled. “She isn't dumb, yet she helped get you one of the least fitting cutie marks imaginable!” He yelled. “Cherin, I swear, you could make styrofoam somehow detonate simply by touching it, you're that stupid and incompetent.”

“You're such a mean, bitter pony,” Cherin said. “Can't you just accept that maybe, just maybe, I got my cutie mark because I was meant to have it?” He asked. “Even if I had a bit of extra help?”

“No! Lyndon snapped. “Something went wrong, and you should have a dunce cap for a cutie mark!”

Cherin frowned. “Screw you,” he said.

Lyndon's eyes shot open. “Did… did you just swear? To me no less?”

“You're being too mean, and it's making me feel bad!”

Lyndon felt a swarm of emotions course through him. Apathy, annoyance, irritation, and, most surprising to him, a slight hint of sadness...

For a whole four seconds.

“Yeah, I don't care.”

“Figures,” Cherin said. “You never do.”

“Hey, you actually know something about your little brother that isn't what my favorite color is!”

“Blue, right?”

“Never mind.”

“What is it?”

“Yellow, you dipstick.”

“Oh.” Cherin looked at the ground and frowned. “Well, are you going to get the remaining things I want to attach to my beautiful creation?”

“First of all, I'd like a few minutes to myself,” Lyndon said. “Second of all, that abomination isn't beautiful.”

“Why isn't it beautiful?” Cherin asked.

“It looks like somepony took a bunch of wires and trains, threw them into a vortex, then put more wires on it, and as a finishing touch, attached a giant blue bar to measure its electrical output, which makes it look like someone put a giant glue stick on it.”

Cherin stared blankly at his brother. “Well, I think I still think it's beautiful,” he said. “Anyways, next up, I need flashlights!’

“Go into the basement.”

“Aren't you going to come?”

“I said I wanted to have some alone time!” Lyndon yelled.

“Well, then I'll wait.”

Lyndon groaned. “Screw it, let's go,” he said as he stormed back into his house.

Cherin clapped his hooves together. “Woo! We're almost done!” He said happily as he followed his brother. “This is so exciting!”

“As exciting as having a tooth yanked out,” Lyndon mumbled.

“Would it kill you to be positive for even a second?” Cherin asked.

Lyndon approached the basement door and opened it. “My doctor says if I try to be positive, I might explode and destroy everything within two hundred yards.”

Cherin jumped back a few feet in shock. “Really?!” He asked

“No you idiot, I'm just pessimistic!” Lyndon snapped before he descended the stairs. “Though, I wouldn't be shocked if that did happen.”

Cherin let out a sigh. “I'm so gullible,” he said as followed his brother.

“Since when did you become Captain Obvious?”

“The same day you became General Sarcasm.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Lyndon reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to face his brother. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he said. “Ha!”

“What's so funny?” Cherin asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Are you for real!?” Lyndon asked as he rested his head against the wall.

“No,” Cherin said. “Now, where do you have the flashlights?”

Lyndon turned a light on. Dozens of boxes, stacked on top of one another, filled the room. “Somewhere,” he said.

“Oh, it's like a scavenger hunt!” Cherin said. “Time to get to work!”

“Yippee,” Lyndon deadpanned as he levitated a box down to himself. “Maybe I'll find your common sense down here.”

Cherin levitated an empty box over Lyndon's head. “Well, I found your optimism,” he said as he dropped the box onto his brothers head “Have it back.”

Lyndon threw the box aside. “Tell me when you find the one fuck I give, along with my sense of humor.”

Cherin threw another box at his brother and chuckled. “Come on, Lyndon!”

Lyndon levitated the box towards him and hurled it at his brother's head. “Knock it off, dickweed!”

“Keep acting like that and you'll get health problems,” Cherin said in an overly serious manner.

“Right,” Lyndon said. “And if I eat a battery, I'll become battery powered.”

“Hey, who's to say you won't?”

“Logic.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Suddenly, your stupidity makes complete sense!”

“Hey, you got scared of a little bug!” Cherin said.

“What does that have to do with logic?”

“It's a completely harmless insect, yet you treated it as though it would kill you from looking at you funny!”

“Just shut up and find the flashlights.”

Fifty minutes, several arguments, and one spider-induced panic attack later

“Is it still there?” Lyndon asked from behind a box fort.

“It's been gone for thirty minutes now,” Cherin said as he put a flashlight into a box. “I even made sure to put it over the fence, and into the neighbor's yard.”

“How do I know you didn't leave it upstairs?” Lyndon asked. “I didn't hear the door open!”

“And who's the genius who destroyed his backdoor?”

“Uhhh…”

“Exactly.”

Lyndon cursed under his breath as he left the comfort—and safety—of his box fort. “Okay, so we got all the things you wanted,” he said. “Are we set to go?”

“Nope!” Cherin said cheerfully. “We need Hearth's Warming lights!”

Lyndon facehoofed.

And facehoofed.

And facehoofed a third time for good measure.

“Why in Celestia's, Luna's, Cadence’s, that Sparkle bitch’s, and whatever that foals name is do you want to put lights on your battery?!”

“Well, I think pull give it more pizazz,” Cherin said. “Wouldn't you agree?”

Lyndon stared at his brother. His left eye twitched as he attempted to comprehend what he'd just heard. “I… what… why?!”

“It'll look pretty!”

“No!” London snapped. “It'll look tackier!”

“How would you know?”

“I'm good at making mental images.”

“Since when?”

“Since… just now!” Lyndon said. “That’s besides the point though!”

“No it isn't” Cherin said. “Now, if you don't get those lights, I'll stay for another week.”

“Fine, let's get your lights.”

“Woo!”

“Do that again, and I'm going to strangle you with them.”

“Buzz kill.”

“And proud of it.”

“Okay, serious question,” Cherin said. “Where do you keep the lights?”

“I think the attic,” Lyndon said. “I haven't bothered to put any up in years though. So for all I know, they're in Saddle Arabia.”

“Why there?”

“Are you really questioning that, of all things?!”

“Yep.”

“Moron.”

“My name’s-”

Lyndon shoved his hoof into his brother's mouth. “Finish that sentence, and I will make you look like a Rorschach test.”

“How can you possibly make me look like so many different things?” Cherin asked.

“I'll find a way,” Lyndon said. “Believe me.”

Cherin gave his brother an uneasy look. “Let's just go get the lights.”

“Good idea!” Lyndon said in an uncharacteristically happy tone. “Maybe I can find my autographed hoofball cards up there too.”

“Since when do you have hoofball cards?” Cherin asked as he walked alongside his brother. “Heck, since when were you ever interested in that sport to begin with?”

“Well, I once tried to make friends with some dumb jocks in High School and I somehow ended up with those cards,” Lyndon said. “I'm ninety percent sure I stole them from one of those jocks.”

“Think they ever noticed?”

“No, they were too busy playing with that stupid ball to ever notice me.”

“You going to give them back?”

“Cherin, this was about two decades ago,” Lyndon deadpanned. “Of course I'm not.”

Cherin rolled his eyes as his brother unlocked the attic door. “Well, what about the other ten percent?”

“They gave them to me.”

“I'd like to believe you aren't a thief.”

“Me too,” Lyndon said as he ascended the creaky, wooden attic stairs. “Then again, I'd also like to believe you're a figment of my imagination, Luna's still on the moon, and Celestia is actually a Chimera.”

“Why a Chimera?” Cherin asked.

“Why not?”

“Fair enough.”

“Fantastic!” Lyndon said. “Oh, hey, my hoofball cards,” he said as he looked around. “And they're all burnt… damn it.”

“Wah, wah, wah,” Cherin said as he pretended to play the trombone.

“You'd make the worst trombone player,” Lyndon said. “Why not play something more suited for you? Like the drums. After all, you do assault my ears everytime you open your mouth.”

“I was thinking the trumpet,” Cherin said. “It’s loud, but beautiful.”

“Well, at least you're becoming self aware,” Lyndon said as he opened a large trunk.

“I've always been self aware,” Cherin said as he shifted through a chest. “Oooh, a comic book.”

“I'm also sure that's one of the jocks,” Lyndon said. “Or it could be a royal guardstallion’s, and I took it because I'm an a-hole.”

Cherin chuckled. “You think Shining Armor really lets the Royal Guard read comics?”

Lyndon tossed a few rolls of yarn off to the side. “How should I know? I've never met him.”

“Hey, I'm just curious.”

“I'm going to guess he's a nasty, inconsiderate prick who enjoys kicking foals and stealing from homeless ponies.”

“Isn't that how you view Luna?”

“Pretty much.”

“Do you view anypony in a positive light?” Cherin asked levitated a few wires out. “You seem to hate everypony who isn't yourself.”

“Well, I like Cadence,” Lyndon said. “I… um… I guess I like Celestia.”

“Is that it?”

“I like mom?”

“So, that makes a whooping three ponies,” Cherin said. “Is that really it?”

“Yep.”

“Alrighty then.” Cherin levitated another roll of wires out and tossed them aside. “I’ll never understand your disdain for Luna though.”

“Look, anypony who was once evil should always be viewed with some distrust.”

“Don't you feel that's a bit too cruel?” Cherin asked. “Even by your standards?”

“Absolutely not. She wanted to plunge the world into eternal night. Why should we welcome her back with nothing but smiles and love?”

“She wasn't always evil!”

“And I wasn't always cynical.”

“So?”

“Should you still view me as a partial optimist?”

“Well, I think there's a part of you that's positive.”

“And you'd be wrong.”

“Can't I at least think that?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then I will!”

“Fantastic.”

“And I'll view Luna as a good pony.”

“Go crazy.”

“If I'm to ever believe you, I already have,” Cherin said. “By the way, have you found any lights over there?”

“No, but I found my book on lizard ponies,” Lyndon said. “I don't believe this crap, but I remember Celestia getting pissed that somepony suggested that Luna was a lizard.”

“If you don't believe it, why did you buy it?”

“It raised a solid point that Luna couldn't have survived on the moon unless she was a lizard.”

“But you said you didn't believe it! Why say it raises a good point?”

“Oh hey, lights!”

“Gimme!”

“I sent them to the moon.”

“Oh.”

Lyndon tossed the lights at his brother, which smacked him on the head. “Luna sent them back.”

Cherin rubbed his head. “But she isn't on the moon anymore.”

“Luna's lizard friends sent it back then.”

“Uh-huh,” Cherin said, “and Princess Twilight is a robot that was engineered by Canterlot scientists in an underground lab.”

Lyndon tapped his chin. “You might be onto something…”

Cherin shook his head. “Well, I have enough lights now!” He said. “We can uh, go to the shed!”

“And it'd explain why ponies describe Twilight as such a perfectionist, and why she's supposedly so kind.”

“Lyndon?”

“It would also explain why she's so gifted in magic?”

“Lyndon!”

“And if you carry the four, you'll see that her cutie mark was genetically created from hairs from Celestia's mane.”

“LYNDON!”

“Huh?”

“What the fuck were you going on about?”

“I dunno.”

“You scare me.”

“The feeling's mutual.”

Cherin levitated a few lights into his back. “Let's just go.”

Lyndon levitated a couple of lights onto his brother's back. “You carry this,” he said as he made his way down the attic steps. “I'll bring the other stuff to the shed.”

Cherin struggled to stand up. “Can't you carry a few yourself?”

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Fine, one,” Lyndon said. “But only one.”

Cherin tossed a light to his brother. “Thanks!”

Without a word, Lyndon walked away. He better be fast.

Twenty minutes later

”Cherin, if you don't hurry up, I will use your horn as a Pogo stick!” Lyndon yelled from the living room.

“I'm almost down the stairs!”

Another twenty minutes later, plus an additional ten dedicated to crying from back pain, then an additional five dedicated to arguing about said crying.

“Okay, you ready to hook this stuff up?” Cherin asked.

“Uhh… I guess.” Lyndon glanced at the collection of stuff he and his brother had collected throughout the day. “Are you sure this crap will do anything.”

“Absolutely, one hundred percent, supremely -”

Lyndon shoved his hoof into his brother's mouth. “I get it,” he growled. “Let's just get this over with.”

Cherin removed the hoof from his mouth. He levitated a battery onto the giant one placed it on there. He then levitated a roll of duct tape over to himself and taped it down. “One down,” he said, “about two dozen to go!”

“This is the dumbest thing I've ever done,” Lyndon said as he screwed a light bulb onto the battery. “And I once tried to convince a guard pony that Nightmare Moon would eat his soul while he slept.”

“Didn't you also stick a fork in an electrical outlet?” Cherin asked.

“We don't talk about that…”

Cherin chuckled and levitated a flashlight onto the battery. “Hmmm… does this look good?” He asked as he held the flashlight in place.

Lyndon looked over at the flashlight. “Cherin, that looks like you gave the battery a nose.”

“Yeah, it looks pretty cool, no?”

“It looks stupid—and I don't even think that thing will conduct electricity.”

“It has a light bulb inside of it though!”

“For somepony who has the cutie mark of a battery, you sure don’t know much about electrical things,” Lyndon deadpanned. “The damn thing is designed to put out light, not create electricity! Come on!”

“... what about the batteries inside of it?” Cherin asked sheepishly.

“Those also don't count you dipstick!” Lyndon yelled.

Cherin opened his mouth to speak, but Lyndon put his hoof back into his mouth.

“No, the power switch doesn't count either.”

Cherin removed his brother's hoof. “Oh.”

Lyndon levitated a battery to himself. “You know, I must finally ask: how exactly will this 'give you unlimited energy'?” He asked as he taped the battery down. “You do realize that isn't how electricity works, right?”

“Well, the way I see it,” Cherin began as he taped a flashlight down, “all of these objects will power a huge generator. With our magic, we can charge it to where it'll never-ever run out of power!”

“Wait, our magic?” Lyndon asked with a surprised look.

“You not going to help?” Cherin asked.

"Cherin, I've heard stories about unicorns who have tried to use their magic to power up electronics,” Lyndon said. “Most of them end with the electronic exploding.”

“That’s because they did it wrong,” Cherin said. “They recklessly powered it up, and ended up overcharging it!”

“Right, and what about the scientist who tried it at a research lab and ended up blowing up the entire facility?” Lyndon asked. “I guess that was just a wee lil mistake?”

“Yep!” Cherin exclaimed. “You need to realize mistakes happen, even to the smartest of ponies!” Cherin wrapped a leg around Lyndon. “If you just had an ounce of optimism in you, you'd realize that and so much more!”

“Okay, first of all, don't touch me,” Lyndon said as he removed his brother's leg from around the back of his neck. “Second of all, I'm already a good pony. Don't fucking judge me.” Lyndon glared his brother. “Third, I hope this thing blows up, just to prove a point.”

“Lyndon, you have serious problems.”

“Oh, boy, Captain Obvious is here once again!” Lyndon exclaimed sarcastically. “Cherin, let's just get this stupid going before I attach you to it and use it to roast marshmallows with it, along with you!”

“Yay!” Cherin said as he ignored his brothers absurd threat. He leaped into the air with a look of pure joy on his face.

I should've moved to New Colt City, Lyndon thought as he placed a few batteries on the larger one. But no, I move a mere two streets away from this bozo.

“... and then we can go to a hoofball game!” Cherin exclaimed. He turned to face his brother and cocked an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“What do you think?”

“You're excited about seeing this thing work?”

“For the twenty thousandth time: no!”

“Okay,” Cherin said as he levitated another flashlight to himself. “How about now?”

Lyndon groaned. “Let's just finish this before I stuff you inside the battery and say a Gryphon did it.”

After two hours of work, several arguments over the positioning of various objects, dinner, and a debate over whether or not to name the battery Olaf, the duo stood before the electrical monstrosity.

“I'm still going to call it Olaf,” Cherin said as he stood before the decorated battery. “And you can't do a thing about it.”

“Why do you even want to give it a name?” Lyndon asked as he shook his head. “It has no feelings!”

“It's better than calling it 'the battery'!” Cherin snapped. “Now come on, I wanna get this thing going!”

Lyndon sighed. “Okay, so at the count of three, we just shoot a beam at it?”

Cherin nodded. “One.”

The duo's horns both glowed.

“Two,” Cherin said as the glow intensified. “Three!”

Two bright beams struck the battery, which caused it to hum to life.

And subsequently shake. Violently.

Sparks flew in all directions, along with pieces of metal batteries, and shards of glass from exploding light bulbs and flashlights.

“Ru-” before Lyndon could finish his sentence, several sharp shards of glass struck him in the head, piercing his skin and lodging themselves into his brain.

Cherin watched in both awe and horror as his creation slowly came apart in a display of chaos and fury. Maybe Lyndon had a point, he thought. Maybe those decorative lights were a bad idea.

Suddenly, the battery sent out several balls of electricity. Cherin's pupils shrunk. “Oh shit,” he said as he took a few steps back.

VWOOM!

The large battery shot out an enormous pulse of magic and electricity, frying Cherin and vaporizing the shed.

A few hours later, a unicorn stallion with a blue coat and a badge for a cutie mark and a unicorn mare with a light blue coat and a magnifying glass walked along a sidewalk towards a small purple condo. “This is the worst part of the job,” he said, a slight frown on his face. “Although paperwork is a close second.”

“I know, Quincy,” the mare said. “You say that every time we have to break the news to a family that one of their loved ones died.”

“I'm sorry, Sharlene,” Quincy said.

Sharlene nodded and walked up towards another small, purple condo. “Just be up front and don't hold back,” she said as she and her partner walked up to the front door.

Knock, knock

“Yes?” A mare asked as she opened the door. “Can I help you, two?”

“I regret to inform you,” Quincy said. “But your son's died in an explosion from a battery.”

“Oh, so that's what that sound was,” the mare said. “I'm not terribly shocked though.”

“Did they have a history of doing this?” Sharlene asked.

“Well, truth be told, I taught one of them—Cherin,” the mare said. “I always expected this though. Cherin was reckless, and was always so eager to one-up himself.”

“Wait, you taught him?” Quincy asked.

“Yes, I taught him everything he needed to know,” the mare said. “Or so I thought.”

Quincy stood in disbelief and shook his head. I need a new job, he thought.

“Well, thank you for your time,” Sharlene said. “And again, I'm very sorry for your loss.”

“Don't worry,” the mare said. “I have two more. I'll teach them better.”

The two officers nodded and walked away, both bearing looks of concern.

The mare shut the door behind her. As she did, Sharlene turned to Quincy. “So, I guess it runs in the family.”

M Is For Monster

On a cool, sunny, Spring morning in Mane, a young mare walked in a school hallway. Her coat was bright green, and her cutie mark was that of a chalkboard.

She entered a classroom and smiled. “Good morning, class!” She said with a large smile.

“Good morning, Miss Rosalina!” the foals said back.

“Today is a very special day,” Rosalina said. “Today, we learn about the day that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna defeated Discord!”

The foals looked at each other. “Who’s Discord?” a foal asked.

“That's a very good question,” Rosalina said. “I shall explain who he was. But first, let's take attendance.”

Meanwhile, outside of a small, copper colored house, a unicorn with a sand-colored coat and a house for a cutie mark eyeballed the cozy looking home. Aiden, you've hit the jackpot, he thought as he approached the front door.

Aiden looked around himself before his magic enveloped the lock to the front door.

Click

Works every time, he thought as he entered the house. “Alright, let's see what we've got,” he said to himself as he locked the door behind himself and walked around.

The living room had a beige armchair, and cyan carpet. A bookshelf full of various mystery and adventure novels rested against the wall.

“How droll,” Aiden muttered to himself. “All that's missing is a cat and a velvet robe.”

Aiden walked into the room and looked around. The walls were plain white, and an unlit candle sat on a small table near the chair.

“All that's missing is a fireplace and this will feel like home,” Aiden said to himself. “Only, it won't have liquor bottles and notices from the IRS laying around.” With that, Aiden walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

The walls were a pale blue, and a fridge resided on the left side of the room. A drainboard was full of morning dishes, and a picture of a sun with a smile on it hung above the sink

Aiden rolled his eyes and walked over to a drawer. “Who in Celestia's stupid, incompetent name puts their knives near their drainboard?!” he yelled as he slammed the drawer shut, the sound of the silverware shaking as he did so. “Stupid pony who lives here must also think Luna raises the sun!”

Aiden walked to the fridge opened it. “Let's see, milk… juice… what? No frigging hay fries!? Cut me a break!” he yelled as he slammed the fridge shut. “Stupid… worthless pony doesn't even have something worth eating!”

In an even bigger huff, Aiden continued to wander around aimlessly.

“Bland, boring, dull, this whole house is so cliche!” Aiden yelled in frustration as he walked back into the hallway where he'd entered. “Well, there's still the upstairs.”

Aiden walked up the wooden stairs, a flower-green carpet placed along it.

“Well, at least their hallway is nice,” he said as he looked down it. A polished, hardwood floor stretched onward, and a few pictures hung from the walls, which showed a mare smiling, surrounded by dozens of foals. “Either this house belongs to a teacher, or I've found the biggest family in Equestria… please don't be the former.”

Aiden looked at another picture and frowned.

Teacher of the Year!

“Shit.”

Aiden groaned. “Well, maybe this house belongs to a couple, and only one of them is a teacher.”

Aiden continued down the hallway and unlocked a door. He closed it behind himself and entered the one bedroom. “Lady Luck, please be kind to me.”

The bedroom had a large, pink colored bed. A small stack of papers on a desk in front of a mirror, which sat near a mirror on a desk. Aiden walked over and picked one up. “Ah, I see I now know who this wonderful place belongs to,” he said to himself. Aiden walked over and picked one up. “Rosalina, huh? You're the teacher I see. Well, that's something.” Aiden picked up another piece of paper and read it.

Dear Miss Rosalina,

“Ah, fuck.”

I appreciated your awesome lesson on how Celestia teaches ponies that the values of friendship and tolerance! I'm so happy I have you as my teacher.

Your student, Skyracer.

The intruder burst out into a fit of laughter. “Oh, that poor, misinformed foal,” he said. “She really taught that foal that bull crap Celestia spouts?” The stallion placed the papers down. “Fine. I'll give her a lesson that she won't soon forget.”

With a sinister grin, the stallion opened a nearby closet door and entered it. Slowly, he shut it and waited.

That afternoon, Rosalina arrived home from work, a smile on her face. Okay, I have to grade a few papers and then I have the whole night to myself, she thought. I think I'll finish that Daring Do book I started last week. Or maybe a mystery. Those are always fun.

Rosalina unlocked her front door and stepped inside. “I love my students, but nothing can ever beat the comfort of home,” she said to herself. She happily trotted upstairs and walked into her room, where she noticed something wasn’t quite right. “That's odd,” she said to herself. “I could've sworn that I kept my papers on the right side of my desk.”

The young teacher tossed her saddlebag into her bed and straightened the papers out.

Creeeeeak

Rosalina spun around. “Hello?” she called out. “Is somepony there?”

The intruder teleported out of the closet. “Hello, Rosalina,” he said calmly. “I'd like to have a discussion with you.”

Rosalina screamed and ran to l her door, which Aiden slammed shut with his magic—and teleported closer to the terrified teacher. “W-who are you?” Rosalina asked as she shook with fear.

“My name is Aiden,” he said. “I broke in.” Aiden's horn lit up. “Now, do me a favor, and take a seat,” he said as he forced Rosalina into a corner of her room.

“What do you want?” Rosalina asked, still shaking.

Aiden hopped up onto her bed and locked her bedroom door. He focused his gaze on her and smiled. “You seem rather intent on teaching foals about Celestia's… ramblings,” he said. “I'd like to ask why that is.”

Rosalina took a deep breath and slowly began to calm down. “Well, all of Equestria's schools teach about Celestia,” she said. “She is our Princess, after all.”

“You see, I… take issue with Celestia,” Aiden said. “She is a very bad pony—and that's a fact.”

“A… bad pony?” Rosalina asked. “How on Equus is she a bad pony?”

“Well, she's had those element bearers do all of her work for starters,” Aiden said. “Then there's the fact she's-” the intruder hopped off of Rosalina's bed and walked over to her- “let crime rage across Equestria.”

“It… isn't really a secret that we've had our fair share of crimes,” Rosalina said. “Where did you get the idea that she let's crime rage across our land?”

Aiden pressed his muzzle up against Rosalina's and calmly said, “Don’t play coy with me. She has you feed foals lies and propaganda.”

“W-Wait, what?” Rosalina asked. “I don't feed foals lies or propaganda!”

“Nonsense!” Aiden yelled as he stepped back. “It's a well known fact that Celestia has ponies like you indoctrinate the youth of today!”

“Where on Equus did you get that idea?!” Rosalina said, her eyes still wide.

“I learned it from hearing imbeciles like you speak!” Aiden yelled “Now, I want to know why you teach foals these lies.”

“Because they aren't lies,” Rosalina said. “Besides, anypony with common sense knows that's it's more beneficial to be kind to one another.”

Aiden smiled. “What a load of shit,” he said. “Now, how about I tell you my view on your 'teachings’.”

“Um, okay,” Rosalina said. “I don't know what you can possibly say.”

Aiden chuckled. “Foals are ignorant and blind, all thanks to ponies like you,” he said. “You've taught nothing but lies, and yet you seem okay with this. You've taught them that conflict and disagreement isn't okay, that it can simply be mended with friendship,” he said. “Is this really what you want? Mediocrity from the stallions and mares of tomorrow?”

“But nothing can defeat friendship!” Rosalina yelled. “It's helped us ponies overcome many great trials over our history! It united the three species when we were divided!”

“No, common sense did,” the intruder retorted. “None of us wanted to freeze to death, so we decided the best way to survive was if we stood united. None of this schmaltzy 'friendship’ crap you all spout,” he continued. “You all make friendship out to be something special. If it truly was, why am I the way I am?”

“You're simply misguided,” Rosalina said. “Perhaps Princess Twilight could help you.”

Aiden burst out laughing. “Princess Twilight? Seriously? She's practically the poster foal for indoctrination!”

“She became a princess because she succeeded as Celestia's student!”

“No, she was practically molded into who she is today! She had no free will when it came to who she wanted to be!” Aiden said. “Do you really think that she had any real choices while she was under our 'beloved’ monarch’s wings?”

“Yes, I do,” Rosalina retorted. “Celestia would've allowed Twilight to make her own choices,” she said. “She wasn't a pawn.”

Aiden shook his head and laughed. “Cut me a break, Rosalina!” He said as he stopped laughing. “Your ignorance is staggering. You've taught so much and yet so little. Can you not just see future generations making no progress? All they'll ever do is repeat the same tired old shit. There's nothing motivating them to move forward!”

“What do you mean?” Rosalina asked.

“What I mean is that, without conflict, the foals of today will literally become carbon copies of you tomorrow.”

“Well, we've set good examples! They can progress on their own, and create new, wonderful things! All while being great ponies!” Rosalina yelled as she became increasingly frustrated.

“All of life's greatest achievements have been accomplished by conflict and hardship! Nothing great is ever done easily. We were united when we were all being pounded by frigid weather. We didn't just do it because we wanted to do so. We had very different views. You think we could accomplish something that today?”

“Okay, enough!” Rosalina yelled. “Before I go on talking to you, will you please tell me where you've gotten these ludicrous theories?!”

Aiden frowned. “I learned long ago from… sources that Celestia wasn't all that she seemed to be,” he said. “I learned that she sent out secret documents to schools on what to teach and not teach. She cherry picked things so that foals wouldn't question her authority.”

Rosalina stated slack jawed at Aiden. “And… exactly who told you this?”

“A former royal guardpony!”

“Right, yes,” Rosalina said. “And I heard from a former advisor of Luna's that she's a walrus.”

“Why aren't you taking me seriously?” Aiden asked. “Do I have play an audio tape for you?”

“You’ve yet to give a compelling argument beyond, ‘listen to me, I'm right’!” Rosalina said in a mocking voice. “Now, unless you have compelling evidence, get out of my house”

“I'm a burglar,” Aiden said. “You really expect me to just leave?”

“Um… yes?”

“No,” Aiden said. “Geez, you're dense.”

“I'm not dense!” Rosalina yelled. “I… um… was hoping you'd listen.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not,” Aiden said. “Now, why don't you shut your pretty little mouth and listen to what I have to fucking say!”

Rosalina flinched. “Okay,” she said, her voice barely above a squeak.

“Wonderful!” Aiden said. “Now then, when I'm done here, you'll have your turn to speak. Okay?”

Rosalina nodded.

“Terrific! Now then, my argument is that schools across Equestria indoctrinate foals,” Aiden said. “Honestly, you all sugarcoat history, you paint Celestia as this perfect pony, and you shelter foals from crime and hatred. You're setting them up for disaster!”

Rosalina stared blankly at the intruder in front of her. Any semblance of taking him seriously was thrown out the nearby window. She blinked and rolled her eyes.

“Well?” Aiden asked.

“That’s your argument?”

“Mhm.”

“Not, it isn’t! That’s your claim; you didn’t give me any actual evidence to support it. And you couldn’t have, because what you said is entirely false,” Rosalina shouted. “First of all, we don't 'sugarcoat’ history. We never have. Of course I’m not going to tell six year olds about how the ponies of old slaughtered each other, but it’s not like we continue to hide it from them as they get older!

“Second of all, we don't paint Celestia as a perfect pony. We've taught foals that she makes mistakes, just like anypony., Where you got that idea, I don't know and I don't care.

“Third of all…sure, of course we shelter foals from crime, for the same reason we leave the gorier parts of history out until later. We don't need them to know about how there are ponies out there insane enough to murder others until they’re mature enough to handle it. I don't get your thinking behind telling them such gruesome details. Tell me, how exactly are we setting them up for disaster by not traumatizing them?”

“You’re setting them up for disaster by making them weak!” Aiden roared as he swiped Rosalina's desk clean. “You've failed all of Equestria by teaching foals nonsense, lies, and garbage! You've brainwashed them!” All because your beloved monarch’s the biggest moron this planet had ever had walk its surface! Yet, you and so many others follow her! I wish you'd wake up and realize she's nothing more than a blind ruler.”

“I have not brainwashed foals!” Rosalina snapped. “And Celestia isn't a blind ruler! She's been our ruler for millennia, and has learned much in that time! How can you be so blind to that?”

“I'm the one who's blind to some enigmatic, ditzy, childish Alicorn?” Aiden asked. “That dimwitted bitch has never been of any use to us! She's always had her six brainwashed 'elements of harmony’ do her hard work, while she handles jack squat! She's allowed ponies like me to run around because she has her head up so far up her own ass that she can see her own beating heart!” Aiden snapped. “You tell me why I should follow somepony like her!”

“Because you're blinded by anger!” Rosalina snapped. “And you keep mentioning how she's let ponies like you run around. Then why don't you turn yourself in?”

“Because idiots like Celestia—and those imbeciles she calls the royal guard—don’t deserve the satisfaction of housing me in one of their dungeons!” Aiden snapped. “Besides, I wouldn't give up seeing ponies like you squirm. It's always fun to use a bit of force to shut up those who don't stop talking,” he said with a wicked grin and a soulless look in his eyes.

“W-wait!” Rosalina shouted. “Force?! Have you done this before?!”

“I guess you could say that I've had to use some excessive measures to get a point across,” Aiden said. “The last house I broke into, the owner kept asking questions.”

“What did you do?”

“I told him-” Aiden punched a nearby dresser drawer- “to stop asking questions!” He yelled. “The dumbass lost a tooth, though he stopped speaking after a bit, deciding it'd be best to just cry as I took his stuff.”

Rosalina gulped. “I don't know what caused this anger, but it’s clear it hasn't been good for your mental health.”

Aiden shot Rosalina a glare. “Excuse me?” he asked, rage filling his voice.

Rosalina gulped. “I… err…”

Aiden stormed up to the visibly shaking teacher. “What did you say?” he asked. “I swore I heard you suggest that I might have some issues with my mental health.”

“No”! Rosalina shrieked. “I didn't, I swear!”

Aiden smiled. “Oh, really now?”

“Y-Yes!” Rosalina said. “I swear!”

Aiden's smiled slowly faded as he walked over. He grabbed Rosalina's head and slammed it into the wall. “Now, how about you start telling the truth you dumb shit?!”

Rosalina's head rung. Tears rolled down her face as she stared at Aiden, who glared down at her.

“Well?”

“I… I'm sorry.” Rosalina held her head and sobbed. “You… you didn't have to do that though you psycho.”

Aiden grabbed Rosalina and threw her against the wall. “Are you hard of hearing?!” He yelled. “Come on, Rosalina! Are you going to keep this up all damn day?!”

“N-No,” Rosalina said through her sobs.

“You sure?” Aiden asked. “You think you've finally got it through your thick skull?”

“Yes!” Rosalina cried out. “I do! I swear! Please, just… don't hurt me anymore.”

“I will do as I fucking please!” Aiden swiped the desk clean. “Do you understand?”

Rosalina nodded. “I-I swear!”

“Really!” Aiden yelled. “Because I don't fucking trust you!” Aiden’s magic grabbed a hold of Rosalina's mane. He walked up to her and pressed his muzzle up against hers. “If you're absolutely sure, tell me what I want you to be sure of!”

Rosalina shook violently. “Y-You… you want me to be sure that I tell the truth!” She said as tears streamed down her face.

Aiden slammed Rosalina onto the hardwood floor. His horn lit up and the door to the dresser drawer flew off, which slammed into the wall. “Now, lie again and you're next to become close friends with the wall!” he yelled as he walked away. “Understand?”

Rosalina looked up at Aiden. Blood rolled down the left side of her head, and tears filled her eyes. “Y-Yes,” she said. “I'll tell the truth.”

Aiden threw his forehooves up into the air. “Bravo, you're learning at the pace of a fucking two year old foal who's learned how to spell 'mama’ with colored blocks! Aren't you a smart cookie!” he exclaimed sardonically.

Rosalina merely wept. The pain in her head was excruciating, and her vision was blurry.

Aiden stormed back over and kneeled in front of Rosalina. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Got a fucking boo-boo? Need your mommy to kiss it and make it all better?”

“No, I don’t,” Rosalina said through her whimpering. “Especially not from a sociopath like you.”

“Really? Because it looks like you want somepony to come and make all of your troubles just vanish.” Aiden made an explosion hoof-gesture in front of Rosalina’s face. “Just like that.”

“You know what… I do,” Rosalina said as she struggled to stand up. “It’d make me really happy.”

“Are you sure?” Aiden asked.

“Y-Yes! I'm absolutely sure!”

Aiden swung his right hoof, which connected with Rosalina's jaw. “Stop lying you fucking moron!” he yelled. “Maybe if you do, I'll leave and I won't leave you looking like this pathetic display of Equestria's educational system!”

Rosalina spit out a bit of blood. “I didn't like you, asshole,” she said. “I merely changed my fucking mind.”

Aiden raised an eyebrow. “I… never expected you to say something so gutsy,” he said. “I didn't think you had a backbone in you.”

“You don't think a teacher has a backbone in them? I've got to deal with foals all day, of course I do,” Rosalina said. “I never expected to have to deal with the likes of you in my life though.”

“Well, now you are,” Aiden said menacingly. “Now, let's continue from where we left off!”

“No!” Rosalina shouted. She stood up and glared at Aiden. “You've made your point, and you've made it loud and clear! Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about your opinion! I will teach the foals of tomorrow how I am told to teach them! You can't change that, you obnoxious, cruel, mean spirited monster!” Rosalina—rather shakily—stormed up to Aiden and pressed her muzzle up against his. “If you have an issue with it, you can go crawl back to whatever wretched part of Tartarus you came from!”

Aiden gently pushed Rosalina away. “Such harsh, mean words coming from a teacher of all ponies,” he said calmly. “What would your students think?”

“I think they'd understand.”

“After you've taught them-”

Before Aiden could finish that sentence, Rosalina charged into him. “I've had enough of your nonsense, your lies, and your condescending-” Rosalina threw a punch to the unicorn's muzzle, which resulted in a loud crack- “bull crap!”

Aiden levitated a nearby pen and slammed it into Rosalina's back. “You inconsiderate bitch!” He snapped. “Here I wanted to have a nice, in-depth conversation with you and you attack me?” He asked as he wiped away some blood. “I can't believe that somepony who has been so nice and so understanding would react with such vitriol disdain to my hollow threat of killing you!”

“Oh, quit acting nice, you jackass,” Rosalina said. “You slammed me into a wall and fucking stabbed me. I think I have the right to be upset!”

“What would Celestia want?” Aiden asked with a smirk.

“I think even Celestia has her limits,” Rosalina said. “Now, do me a favor and leave. If you do, I won't report you to the royal guard!”

“You really think I believe you?” Aiden asked with a growl. “Please. You want to leave this room so bad?” He asked as he glared angrily as Rosalina. “Then let's play a wonderful game.” Aiden’s magic unlocked the bedroom door and opened it. “You leave this room,” he said, “and run.” His horn lit up brightly. “Because if you don't, nopony is going to recognize your corpse!”

Rosalina ran as fast as she could out of the room. Her vision blurred, and her heart raced.

Boom!

A large magic bolt flew by Rosalina and obliterated a wall in front of her. Dust filled the air as the young teacher frantically made her way down a long hallway.

Aiden exited her bedroom and fired off another bolt of magic, which struck the wall right next to Rosalina. “Don't bore me too much, Rosalina!” He yelled. “I know you've got a few cuts and whatnot, but that doesn't mean you need to move slower than Celestia’s stupid government!”

Rosalina let out a painful cough. Her eyes burned, and her whole body ached. She dragged herself towards the stairway. “You… are the most obnoxious bastard I've ever met in my entire life!” She yelled back.

Aiden teleported down the hall. “That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day,” he said. “It just warms my heart.”

“Me saying I wouldn't report you to the royal guard wasn't nice?” Rosalina asked as she dragged herself down the stairs.

“Most homeowners I've tied up have said that too,” Aiden said as he walked in front of Rosalina. He placed a hoof under her chin and raised her head up and looked her in the eyes. “You think you saying it holds even a drop of water to me?” he asked in a mocking tone.

Rosalina stared at Aiden for a second before she spit at him. “No, I don't,” she said coldly before she pushed Aiden out of the way continued down the stairs.

“Bitch,” Aiden grumbled, before teleporting down the stairs and firing off a bolt of magic that struck the middle of the stairs. Pieces of wood and carpet flew in every direction.

Rosalina grabbed onto a banister as she felt splinters dig into her body. “Was… that necessary?”

Aiden fired another bolt of magic, this one striking the ceiling, which caused rubble to rain down on Rosalina. “What do you think, Miss Rosalina!?” He yelled as the young teacher cowered.

“S-Shut the fuck up,” Rosalina growled as she along what little of the stairway remained.

“Oh, that was just too cruel,” Aiden said as Rosalina reached the bottom of the stairs.

Rosalina turned around and punched Aiden in his right eye, which sent the stallion staggering back.

“Oh, you're just the worst kind of pony.”

“You're one to talk.”

“Yeah…”

Rosalina turned around and limped into her kitchen. “Come on, come on,” she said to herself as she frantically searched for a knife.

Boom!

Various utensils flew around as Rosalina covered her head.

“No, no, no!” Aiden yelled as he teleported beside Rosalina. “Your knives are near your drainboard! Not near your fridge!” He yelled as he opened the drawer. “I can't believe you do this, by the way. Really, two extra steps to get a knife? It’s so inefficient!” Aiden levitated a knife to Rosalina and smiled. “Now, let's fight like real ponies!”

Rosalina grabbed the knife in her mouth and looked at Aiden nervously.

Clink levitated a butcher knife out of the drawer and spun it around with his magic, a grin on his face. “What? Never fought before?” He asked. “It’s quite easy.”

Beads of sweat rolled down Rosalina's face. She closed her eyes and charged at Aiden, who teleported behind her and swiped at her thigh. “Reckless.”

Rosalina dropped the knife and screamed in agony.

“It's a damn scratch,” Aiden said. “Come on, you foal.”

Rosalina picked up the knife and turned around to face Aiden. “You're really going to make me do this?” She asked, a look of sorrow on her face.

“Enough with the damn questions!” Aiden hurled the knife at Rosalina, which embedded itself in her shoulder.

Rosalina let out a pained scream. She fell to her haunches and stared up at Aiden, who loomed over her. He tore the knife out with his magic and held it in front of her as blood dripped from it. “Quite the sight, no?” He asked with a smirk.

“P-Please, stop it!” Rosalina begged. “I can't take this anymore!”

“I find that you're too much fun to just kill,” Aiden said. “Getting rid of you would just be… anticlimactic.”

Rosalina shut her eyes and, with every ounce of strength left inside of her, head-butted Aiden, whose knife fell to the ground.

Rosalina slammed her knife into Aiden's shoulder. “Just… go away!” She yelled.

Aiden let out pained scream. “You bitch,” he grumbled.

Rosalina tore the knife out and slammed it deeper into Aiden's other shoulder.

Aiden let out another pained scream and looked up at the enraged mare, then smirked. “Go ahead, kill me. I'll get the last laugh.”

Rosalina frowned. “How so?”

“Easy, you get to live with my blood on your hooves. After all we've been through today! Together, as the best of friends.”

Rosalina's right eye twitched. She raised the knife and plunged it into Aiden's forehead repeatedly. “You stupid, mindless, thoughtless, callous piece of shit!” She screamed as blood splattered onto her coat. Tears rolled down her face as she finally stopped and looked at Aiden’s face. “Even in death, you still have a smug grin on your stupid face,” Rosalina said.

Rosalina slowly stood up and staggered to her front door. She opened it up and walked outside.

The night sky was cloudy, and the air was dead quiet. Rosalina frowned as she made her way to the local police station as a single thought filled her head.

This is going to be a nightmare to explain to my class.

A is for Anaphylaxis (Revised)

On a cool Spring morning in a hotel in Ponyville, a young earth pony stallion with a light blue coat named Quill was seated behind a desk. A small waste bin nearby was filled with crumpled up pieces of paper.

Quill threw another piece of paper into the waste bin and slammed a hoof onto his desk. “I’ve tried a story about a crazed arsonist,” he said to himself as he crumpled up the piece of paper- which bore the title A Night on the Town- and threw it into the waste basket. “I’ve tried a story about a killer disease.” The author stood up and angrily kicked the bin over. “I even tried an anthology series!” He stomped his hoof on the carpet. “Yet nothing ever seems to work!”

Quill turned his head around and looked at his cutie mark; a quill and piece of paper. “I write one successful story that gets put into the Manehattan Daily News and boom”- Quill threw his forehooves into the air- “cutie mark on my flank!”

As the author stood in front of his desk, his stomach growled. “Oh right, and I haven’t eaten since I got here.” He muttered to himself. Quill let out a sigh and cleaned up the pieces of paper that had scattered from the waste bin. Well, at least it’s quiet here, the author thought as he finished cleaning. With that, Quill left his room, locked the door, and made his way to the lobby.

Downstairs, the author approached a stallion with a dark grey coat and a keyring for a cutie mark. “Excuse me,” Quill said, “do you know where I can get something to eat?”

The stallion put down a newspaper he was reading and looked at Quill. “Sugarcube Corner,” he deadpanned. “Or you can wait another few hours when we serve lunch.”

Quill thought for a few seconds before he asked, “Where’s Sugarcube Corner?”

“Down the street.” The stallion looked up at Quill. “You can’t miss it, it’s a giant gingerbread house.”

Quill simply nodded and exited the hotel. I wonder if everyone is as pleasant as him, He thought as he walked down the street. At least it’s quiet here, the young stallion thought as a smiled formed on his face.

A few minutes later, Quill arrived at Sugarcube Corner. As he entered, he was greeted by a pink earth pony. “Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie!” The mare said with a large smile.

Quill staggered back a few feet. “Uh, hi,” He said, uncertainty filling his voice. “My name’s Quill.”

“Oooh, I don’t know of anypony named ‘Quill’!” Pinkie said as she approached Quill, who was now afraid that the sheer amount of energy inside of Pinkie Pie would cause her to explode. “So, where are you from?” She asked as she bounced in place.

Quill regained his posture and said, “I’m from Manehattan. I-”

“Oh, you should go talk to Rarity!” Pinkie beamed. “She’s been to Manehattan!” Pinkie gasped when she realized something. “Maybe you two are friends and have met before, but haven’t seen each other in years! Then I can say I have another friend and we can share stories and-”

“I’ve never met anypony name Rarity! I came here for some peace and quiet as I tried to work on my writing!” Quill yelled. He looked around at the surprised customers. “Uh, sorry,” He said sheepishly.

“Oh, that’s too bad! Still, I bet she’d love to meet you! You are from Manehattan, so maybe you’ve at least seen her!”

“Look, while I bet your friend is wonderful,” Quill said, getting increasingly aggravated, “I came here to get something to eat.”

“Okie dokie!” Pinkie said as she bounced to the counter. “What would you like?” She asked, a disturbingly large smile on her face. Quill made a mental note to ask a doctor if that was even possible without splitting one’s face in two.

The author approached the display case and looked at the various sweets. “Just a cake,” he said, “but no nuts. I’m allergic to them.”

Pinkie quickly retrieved a cake and handed it to Quill. “I’ll make sure to not have anything with nuts at your party, too!” Pinkie beamed. “I always make sure to be extra careful with stuff like that!”

“Party?” Quill asked, nearly dropping the cake. “What party?”

“Your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party of course!” Pinkie said, throwing confetti into the air, which now made Quill question if this mare was even from this planet. “Everypony gets one!”

“That’s nice of you, but I don’t think I can attend,” Quill said. “I’ll probably be too busy writing,” and too busy getting rid of this damn migraine you’ve given me.

“Awww, that’s too bad!” Pinkie said with a frown, much to Quill’s amazement. “Maybe you won’t be busy and can join!”

Quill rubbed his temples. He handed Pinkie a few bits and asked, “Look, if I come, do you promise not to speak to me?”

Pinkie happily nodded.

“Fine, send an invitation to the hotel up the street.” Quill walked out of the bakery, a headache causing him a great deal of discomfort.

Quill staggered back into his hotel room. He placed the cake on a dresser drawer. He flopped onto the bed and rubbed his temples. That mare alone somehow rivals Manehattan. The author let out a pain filled groan as he lay up and and grabbed the cake. How nice, she gave me a plastic fork to go with this.

As he dug into the cake, the thought of what to write about reentered Quill’s mind. I could do a story about a cook who poisons the food of those they dislike. Quill took a large bite out of the cake and shook his head. That’s been done to death though. The young stallion took another bite out of the cake and looked around the room. Maybe there’s something around here that will give me an idea. The author put the cake back onto the dresser drawer and walked over to a bookshelf.

The young stallion looked at each of the books. “The Fair Crimson Line?” Quill shook his head. “Maybe next time,” he said and continued looking. “One Thousand Famous Places to Visit Before You Die.” Quill rolled his eyes. Fat chance I’ll ever see ten of them. The author scanned the rest of the shelf before his eyes landed on something that caught his eye. “Wildlife of Equestria?” He pulled the book out and walked back to the bed with it. Killer animals are always something that I’ve enjoyed reading about. Maybe this can give me a few ideas.

Quill opened the book. Pictures of Timber Wolves, Hydras, Manticores, and Chimeras, and dozens of other animals filled page after page. “All of these animals,” the author said as he turned a page, which had a picture of a Cockatrice, “and still nothing.” Quill closed the book and put it aside. I need to stop whining. It’s not going to get me anywhere. Quill grabbed the cake he’d set aside before and resumed eating it.

After Quill had finished eating, he put the Wildlife book away and flopped back onto the bed. Maybe a nap will help my writers block, he thought. The young stallion shut the curtains to a nearby window and closed his eyes. Within minutes, he fell asleep.

~~~

Quill sat at his desk back in his house in Manehattan, fiercely writing. His mane was unkempt, his eyes bloodshot and with bags under them, and hiss room a mess, with crumpled pieces of paper filling the room. Leftover pieces of hay sandwiches filled the waste bin next to his desk. Pencil shavings littered his desk and chair, and more fell from the pencil he used. “Almost... done...” Quill said as he wrote the final bit of his magnum opus. “My work will finally pay off. This is the one!”

As the author finished his story, he placed the pencil down and yelled, “Finally! It’s taken me months, but I have done it!” With a comically large grin on his face, Quill put the piece of paper into his briefcase and ran out the front door to the publishing office.

When he arrived, the mare at the front desk glared daggers at him. “Oh, it’s you again,” she said.

“What?” Quill asked; surprised. “I-I’ve never been here!”

“Yes you have,” the mare retorted. “You’re here every day with some new horrible story. The whole office knows about you. Your ideas are ridiculous, your execution worse! Get out of here before we throw you out!”

Quill’s heart shattered. Slowly, he walked backwards as tears streamed down his face.

”NOW!”

The author turned around and hightailed it out of the publishing office. However, no matter how fast he ran, it seemed the entrance moved farther and farther away.

“What part about ‘now’ did you not understand, Quill?” The mare asked. Her words echoed in his head. “Or are you eager to hear about the other employees opinions?”

Quill tried to respond, but he couldn’t speak. To his horror, he seemed to be mute.

The mare trotted over and stared Quill down. “Nopony likes your writing, Quill.” the mare said, venom filling her every word. “Nopony at all.”

Quill fell to his haunches and stared down at the ground as tears streamed down his face with the mare’s remarks echoed in his head.

~~~

Knock, knock, knock

Quill jolted awake in a cold sweat. He turned his turned his attention to the door and trotted over. At his door was a grey pegasus with a blonde mane. “Yes?” He asked.

“You have an invitation,” she said. “It’s for a party Pinkie Pie’s throwing you tomorrow.” The pegasus handed him a letter and smiled.

Quill took the letter and forced a smile on his face as he recalled that he’d be surrounded by noise that would no doubt rival that of Manehattan. “Thank you.”

The mare nodded and fluttered off. As Quill closed the door behind him, he could hear a picture crash to the ground outside. He rolled his eyes and walked to his bed. He hopped onto it and buried his face into his hooves. Sweet Celestia, I just wanted some peace and quiet. Was that too much to ask?

After wallowing in self pity for a few minutes, Quill lifted his head back up and looked out a window. Maybe a quiet walk will do my nerves some good, he thought. Reinvigorated, Quill got off of his bed, locked his door, and quickly made his way out of the hotel.

Outside, Quill began his walk around the quaint, little town, all the while he thought about his story. I could do a story about a rampaging Hydra, he thought as he walked passed Sugarcube Corner. Nah, I want something on a smaller scale. He stopped in his tracks and put a hoof up to his chin. Maybe one about an alligator in the sewer. Those old stories I heard as a foal scared me to death. A smile formed on Quill’s face. That’s it! A a story about a killer alligator! The author happily clapped his hooves together.

“What are you so excited about, buddy?” A voice asked.

Quill snapped back into reality and looked around. The stallion from earlier in the day approached Quill, a small smile on his face. “Oh, I just thought of a great idea for something I’m writing,” Quill said sheepishly.

The nameless stallion looked at Quill and smiled. “That’s great! Congratulations!” He exclaimed, much to Quill’s surprise. “Listen, I’m sorry if I came across as a jerk earlier. I woke up with a terrible headache and wasn’t in the mood to talk to anypony. I hope you weren’t mad at me.”

The author smiled. “It’s fine. I understand that feeling.”

“Anyways, I’d love to stay and chat, but I have a night shift to work somewhere else. See you around,” the stallion said as he walked off.

Quill waved goodbye to the stallion. Well, perhaps this town isn’t that bad.

As the author continued his walk, he eventually found himself in Ponyville’s park. By now, the sun had set entirely, and the moon shined brightly in the sky. A few other ponies sat atop a nearby hill as they stargazed. Quill looked up at the star filled sky himself and smiled. The young stallion trotted over to a nearby bench and sat on it. I might as well stargaze for the time being myself.

~~~

Quill sat on the bench. The park was deserted, and the sun was setting. The author stood up, a sense of uneasiness filling him, and walked around the park.

The air was dead still as the author continued to wander aimlessly when he passed by a lake. He looked at it and noticed a few ripples. Against his better judgement, he walked towards the lake. As he got closer, he noticed a few humps.

Whoosh!

Suddenly, a large serpentine creature leaped out of the water and stared Quill down. It opened its mouth. “Hey, buddy?”

~~~

“You there?” A voice asked. “Yoo-hoo.”

Quill shook his head. “Huh? Wha?” He asked as he snapped back into reality.

A unicorn colt with a blue coat stared at Quill with a puzzled expression. “You alright?” He asked. “You were completely zoned out. Thought you might have fallen asleep.”

“Oh, no, I’m okay,” the author replied. “Just daydreaming.” Quill stood up and shook his head again. Behind him were the ponies who were stargazing atop the hill. “So... beautiful night if I do say so myself,” Quill said awkwardly.

“Oh, yeah,” the unicorn replied. “We were just heading home when we spotted you hadn’t passed out.”

“Sorry for disturbing your daydreaming,” a unicorn filly said.

Quill smiled. “It’s fine. I should be heading back to my hotel.”

“We should do the same,” the colt replied. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Quill replied as he made his way back to his hotel room.

The next morning, Quill awoke feeling revitalized, and in good spirits. He got out of bed and noticed the letter that had been delivered to him the previous day. I never did bother to check what time that party was. He walked over and opened it.

Dear, Quill

You’re invited to a super duper spectacular Pinkie Pie “Welcome to Ponyville” Party! Just for you!

Be there by 12:00 P.M. tomorrow!

- Pinkie Pie

A large smiley face and heart succeeded the signature, which smelled of frosting. Quill couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I’ve got five hours to kill,” he said to himself.

The author walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As it warmed up, he brushed his teeth and looked in the mirror. Note to self: Buy a razor to shave. he thought as he rinsed his mouth.

By now, steam was beginning to fill the bathroom. Quill entered the shower and started to wash his hair.

Only to get shampoo in his right eye.

“Sweet Celestia that stings!” He yelled as he washed the shampoo out of his eye. “That’s not how I wanted to start my day!”

After a few minutes, Quill turned the shower off and grabbed a towel. “Stupid shampoo,” He grumbled as he finished drying his mane. The young stallion put the towel away and walked back into his room. He grabbed a pencil, a piece of paper, and walked back to his desk. “I’ve got nothing better to do for another few hours,” he said to himself.

Knock, knock, knock

Quill got up and answered the door. A unicorn mare with a violet coat and a food tray for a cutie mark was standing at the doorway, levitating a notepad.

“This for breakfast?” Quill asked.

“Yep! What would you like?” The mare said, cheerfully.

“Cereal,” Quill said. “No nuts please.”

The mare nodded and walked away. Quill shut the door behind her and walked back to his desk. Okay, now, a killer alligator, he thought as he tapped his chin. Alligator’s hunt during the evening, so I’d have to set the during at night. The young stallion grabbed his pencil and started to write a rough outline of his story.

Aven lives in a swamp-like area. One night, he hears strange sounds coming from outside and-

A knock at the door interrupted Quill. He dropped his pencil and walked over to the door. The mare levitated a bowl of cereal to Quill. “No nuts, just like you asked,” she said.

“Thank you,” he said to the mare as he grabbed his food.

The mare simply nodded and trotted off again.

The author walked back to his desk resumed writing as he ate his breakfast.

goes outside to investigate said sounds. He notices large prints in the mud (perhaps it had been raining prior to this?) and follows them. He encounters a massive alligator and devours him. Flash forward ahead a professional hunter is going to track it down and kill it!

Quill put his pencil down and clapped his hooves together. “This is genius!” He said with a large smile. “All I need to do is think of a way to build up suspense and I’m good to go.” Quill pumped a foreleg into the air and ate a spoonful of his cereal.”Though I guess I could try to at least start the story,” he said. Quill once again grabbed his pencil and prepared himself for a morning of writing.

And subsequently failed to write anything.

“I question how I’ve written one story,” he said to himself as he got up from his seat. “No time to question myself though. That party starts in a few minutes.” Quill grabbed took a deep breath and made his way towards Sugarcube Corner.

Just remember Quill: If anypony tries to talk with you, just tune them out and pretend you’re listening, Quill thought to himself as he arrived at Sugarcube Corner. Do the same if anypony else approaches you at some point.

The young stallion opened the front door and was greeted by dozens of ponies. “Surprise!” They all shouted at the top of their lungs.

Quill was sure an eardrum popped. “Yay... surprise.”

Pinkie Pie bounced over to Quill. “I know I said I wouldn’t bother you, but my friends are here and they really want to meet you so is it okay if they say ‘hi’ please?” Pinkie begged.

Quill sighed. “Fine, sure, whatever,” he said. Just tune them all out, Quill.

Pinkie ran off. A few seconds later, five other ponies greeted him, each smiling. To his surprise, Princess Twilight was among them. Oh joy, royalty. The young stallion let out a sigh. “Hi,” Quill said.

The author mentally tuned himself out. He noticed Pinkie point to a table with a large cake on it and said something. Afterwords, each of her began to introduce themselves. Just think about the story, Quill. Imagine that alligator suddenly attacking. It’s chaos! Pure chaos! Quill couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

“What’s so funny?” Pinkie suddenly asked.

“Wha? Huh?” Quill asked.

“You chuckled, silly. I asked what was so funny.”

“Oh, nothing,” Quill said. “I’m very happy to meet you all though,” he said, “but I’d like to just be alone and think over something I’m writing.”

The six mares all nodded and walked towards a punch bowl on the other end of the room. Quill, meanwhile, walked towards the table Pinkie had gestured to and sat near it. At least they were nice enough to leave me alone. The author looked at the cake and thought to himself. Maybe it’s for later, Quill thought. Still, this party is for me. It won’t hurt to have a little bit. Quill cut himself a small slice and took a bite of it. Wait, he thought as he chewed the slice of cake. Suddenly, Quill began to cough violently, and his heart started to beat quickly.

A few ponies turned their attention to Quill. “What’s wrong with him?” A few asked.

“Somepony get a doctor!” Others shouted.

Quill fell to the floor and struggled to breathe. Time seemed to slow as he watched most of the party goers panic and run to Pinkie, who was conversing with her friends. Others watched in horror as the author wheezed and attempted to scratch at his body.

Pinkie Pie turned her attention to the commotion and screamed. “No! Quill! That had nuts in it!” She yelled as she ran over to him.

The young stallion crawled on the floor and looked up at Pinkie, her five friends quickly followed behind her. Pinkie fell to her haunches and cried, her mane deflating in the process. Princess Twilight comforted her friend and said something to a Cyan pegasus, who gave a salute before she flew out of the shop.

Quill, meanwhile, could only think one thing before his vision faded.

Ah, nuts.

Author's Note

Tell me what you thought of this chapter! I'll gladly take all criticism to help improve future chapters! :twilightsmile: