Rainbow Dash: Professional Cider Taster
An Innocent Mistake Gone Horribly Wrong
Rainbow Dash loves cider. There wasn't a single pony in Equestria that wasn't at least semi-aware of that fact. But for most ponies, cider was only a tasty beverage; a special treat that for one particular time of the year, everypony was invited to partake in. Nothing more, nothing less. The Apple family, of course, was the place to acquire said beverage, at least for everypony in and around Ponyville. And, every year the line for the cider grew and grew without any sign of slowing down. Nearly every pony in Equestria enjoyed it.
But none in Equestria had a love for cider in the same, slightly insane, way as Rainbow Dash. For the blue pegasus, cider's importance in her life was bordering next to her basic needs of survival, and she wouldn't miss out on the annual Ciderfest for anything short of remaining loyal to her friends. Even then, it was pretty close.
On this particular year, however, Dash had been hoof-picked by the Equestrian Society of Cider Enthusiasts to be a cider taster in this season's Ciderfest. And, as if by pure luck, the Ciderfest would be taking place in Sweet Apple Acres. Or, perhaps, Rainbow Dash was selected because the event was being held in such near proximity to her home.
But the reason wasn't exactly important. She didn't care to think about the minute details of why she was selected. Instead, she read the letter as a grin slowly began to spread across her face from ear to ear.
"Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh," Rainbow Dash gleefully said to nopony in particular. "This is so awesome," she continued with an exciteful squeak.
Finally, Rainbow Dash would be getting the credit she deserved for being an exquisite connoisseur of cider. Drinking it was one thing, but being hoof-selected to be a judge was an honor, and if anything made Dash more excited than her obsession with cider, it was being praised for her awesomeness. And it wasn't for no reason. The pony had an innate ability to pick out the most minuscule details in flavor; the kind of things that would go unnoticed by a mere amateur cider enthusiast. Somehow, through years and years of an ever-growing obsession, she had developed and fine-tuned her taste buds for maximized enjoyment of the glorious beverage. She would be an excellent taste tester, that she was completely sure of.
What went unnoticed by the pony, however, was the small detail hidden amidst a particularly long paragraph of the letter she had excitedly skimmed, mentioning that she would be a taste tester for the alcoholic variety of cider in this years Ciderfest.
Sweet Apple Acres was bustling with excitement as ponies from all around Equestria roamed in every direction. And the Apple family's homemade cider wasn't the only cider around this year, being that they were hosting Ciderfest for the first time. There was simply no way that they would be able to meet the demand of all the ponies who had shown up for the occasion, and for once, Applejack was relieved that they wouldn't be the sole provider of the beverage on this particular year.
Arranged on several wooden tables draped in checkered cloths were the different varieties of cider to be tasted and judged from all around Equestria spanning from Manehatten to Las Pegasus. Rainbow Dash took her seat among the rest of the ponies who would be judging this year's harvests. Among them was an older stallion with a scraggly beard, a fancy young mare wearing clothes that were definitely not appropriate for walking around the countryside, and another stallion who had no interesting qualities of note.
The four cider tasters sat in their chairs patiently as the pony in charge began explaining the contest.
"Alright, everypony, please listen up," a middle-aged stallion announced, "the cider-tasting contest is just about to begin!"
A cheering crowd of ponies roared, clanking mugs with each other. Rainbow Dash was surprised at how excited everypony was. It wasn't unusual for ponies to be excited, but this crowd seemed very excited.
The announcer continued. "These four ponies behind me will be taste-testing all of the different ciders from across Equestria, and only one brew will be announced the winner. I hope you're all ready!"
The crowd cheered once more and clanked their mugs joyously, downing another gulp of cider. This is going to be awesome, Rainbow Dash thought, as the first batch of cider was delivered to their table.
"This particular selection of cider is from Filly Delphia," said the announcer, "it's known for its slightly more bitter taste and wholesome warmth as it travels down your throat."
Four mugs of Filly Delphian cider were placed in front of the judges. The three other taste testers eyed and smelled the cider contemplatively for a few moments until they finally took a small sip, swashing around the liquid for a second or two. Rainbow Dash, however, grabbed the mug with vigor and poured the entirety of its contents down her throat.
Moments later, her throat burned intensely from the cider and she held her mouth open in a desperate attempt to cool herself down. Sheesh, he wasn't kidding when he said it was slightly more bitter, Rainbow Dash thought. Still pretty good though.
The crowd watching the judges laughed heartily at Dash's display, which she took as a sign that she was doing a great job. The other judges, however, looked at her in slight surprise. Rainbow Dash grinned naively back with the empty mug in her hoof and they wrote down their scores on a small piece of paper next to them. Rainbow Dash decided to give that particular cider a six out of ten, mostly because she wasn't a fan of the bitter taste it left in her mouth.
Continuing on, another brew of cider was brought forth. "Next up, we have a particularly exquisite variety from the gardens of Canterlot," continued the announcer as the next round of cider was delivered to the judges. "This cider is known for its sweet, but sophisticated taste."
Rainbow Dash smelled the cider briefly. It smelled particularly fruity, so she figured it would be a good way to get rid of the bitter taste from the first cider out of her mouth. Once again downing the entire mug in a single gulp, Rainbow Dash thumped the empty mug on the table and let out a satisfied sigh. Suddenly she felt a little dizzy, and her upper torso felt incredibly warm and fuzzy. Mmm...That was...good cider... her thoughts came slowly to her.
The other three ponies watched her in silence, then took their sips of the cider with looks of contemplation as they swished the liquid around their mouths before finally swallowing. What Dash hadn't noticed, however, due to her currently being distracted by a small bee buzzing around her face, was that the rest of the judges were placing their mugs aside after taking a sip.
"Heh...buzz buzz..." said Rainbow Dash with a stupid grin on her face as she followed the bee lazily as it flew erratically around her head, gathering some strange looks from the ponies around her.
The announcer continued, "and for our next cider, we have some from Appleoosa!"
He began talking about some history on this particular variety of cider but Dash began to feel slightly woozy and found it difficult to follow what the pony was saying. Instead, she randomly found herself thinking about how awesome it would be to be fighting off a sudden bear attack during the Ciderfest and, unbeknownst to her was acting out a series of small kicks and punches from behind the table.
Eventually realizing she was losing her concentration, she sat back up with a look of slight confusion and tried to listen to the announcer again.
"...and this particular cider is especially known for its..."
The voice trailed off and everything became muffled. Rainbow Dash blinked her eyelids slowly and felt as if her head was ten feet away from the rest of her body, about to tip over at any moment. Swaying back and forth ever so slightly, she sat behind the table with her hooves under her flank with a stupid smile on her face. The next batch of cider appeared in front of her, and Rainbow Dash absentmindedly took the mug and, once again, downed it in its entirety.
At this point, the other judges were in complete shock that they didn't taste their own cider. Instead, they watched in awe as the completely drunken pegasus wobbled around precariously for a few moments until finally falling face first into the table with a loud thump.
Several minutes later, Dash awoke to two pegasus ponies trying to lift her up from the ground and to her hooves.
"Hey, watch it...pals..." she said groggily.
"Lady, we've got to get you home," said one of the stallions picking her up.
"Wha?" she asked in utter confusion. "But I have to *urp* judge the ciders for...you know...to do the thing with the taste..."
"I don't think you're fit for judging that kind of cider," continued the pegasus. "What were you thinking, downing all those mugs in such quick succession?"
"What?" she said slowly, "why should I *urp* care about drinking too much cider? I *urp* always drink that much cider..."
The other pony lifted her up on the other side. "What kind of cider? I don't know anypony that can handle that much in one sitting. And you're not exactly the right build to handle that much alcohol..."
"Alco-what?" Dash replied stupidly.
"Oh, sweet Celestia...have you ever had hard cider before?"
"Hard cider?" said Rainbow Dash, "I thought that meant it was hard to find!"
The other pegasus let out a hearty laugh. "That depends on who's lookin'!"
