Weasel

by RealityWarper

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure
Length: 1431

Itachi Uchiha finds himself, not in the after-life like he thought he'd be after stopping Kabuto; But rather instead, in a hospital room. As... A pony?

Itachi Uchiha finds himself, not in the after-life like he thought he'd be after stopping Kabuto; But rather instead, in a hospital room. As... A pony?

Published 2017-09-07 05:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-07 05:20:06 UTC

Chapter I - Awakening

...Beep

Itachi awoke gracefully as every well trained shinobi should;

Silently.

Breathing at the same tempo as his sleeping pattern as to mask his sudden awakening, his recollection came back to him. That was an issue in itself however, for if the dead were to never awaken again how was he conscious? The dead go on to the after-life. So why is it that he was breathing at the moment?

...Beep

Itachi hadn't been to the emergency room too many times in his life, but it was a universal sound much like that of a gunshot that let him know exactly where he was. Itachi was in a hospital. Stretching out his senses as he became aware, he searched for his 'assailant'. Oddly enough, while his senses didn't fail him; there wasn't a drop of chakara in the room. Or really, within a good mile radius. Instead, there was another energy that was completely foreign. It was unfamiliar in nature, he'd never sensed anything like it.

...Beep

While Itachi wouldn't say he was frightened, he could however say he was unnerved by the unknown. It was clear to him however, that this was no trap—The respirator on his face wasn't pumping poison into his lungs so that was a good enough guess in itself— but instead he'd somehow survived after Edo Tensei. Was the war over? Had he been revived somehow? Who had done it? Could it have been... His brother?

Sasuke...

Itachi felt a stab of ice cold guilt that caused him more pain than any weapon could dream to inflict upon him, as a ninja it was his job to withstand pain, which was overly easy now to the point to where pain didn't even bother him anymore. It was just something that was there. Emotional pain was something every ninja was told they'd need to get rid of, but it was impossible to shed one's emotions so easily. The sole exception of this rule was Root, Danzo's puppet organization which he controlled from the shadows. Itachi internally shook his thought process away, he was getting distracted. A ninja should never be distracted.

...Beep

Like a vigilant guardian, the sound of the heart monitor kept him focused. He sensed around once more, a foreign energy was in the room with him on the other half of the room. It was dead still, meaning that whoever was over there was likely sleeping currently. Perhaps another patient? Itachi gave a nonchalant internal shrug. Luckily, it appeared to be night outside.

The night was his element.

Itachi finally opened his eyes, the obsidian stoic orbs gazing around the room. It was indeed night time, he turned to his left to see the moon brightly glowing and hanging in the midnight blue sky from his position on the bed through the window—which curtains were parted with just enough room to see through—at it's highest. Strangely, it didn't look like the moon he'd grown accustomed to seeing, and he'd seen the moon with his Sharingan enough times to sketch it completely with his eyes closed. Lonely dark nights in traveling a world that wanted nothing more than to see him dead—Not that most of anyone in the world had the power to harm him, especially at full strength with the exception being perhaps Pein and 'Madara'—, moon gazing was a calming pass-time. It was different, that was for sure. He looked away from the closed window, to gaze around the room that he was sure would be a blinding white if it wasn't for the lights being off. Everything looked so... Colorful and animated now. There were white curtains that seemed to be protecting his privacy. Itachi found himself looking around the room with interest. Itachi then paused.

When was the last time he found something interesting? Perhaps it was seeing Naruto's determination to help Sasuke. To see how much Sasuke had grown, but these were things that revolved around Sasuke. When was the last time he found people interesting? Or even situations. Itachi had seen it all, and then some. A thick cloak of despair and sorrow had been wrapped around Itachi since before he could even walk. The world was predictable, at this point there was nothing that the world could throw at him that would take him off guard.

Itachi would immediately regret thinking this.

Itachi was not embarrassed to note his eyes had crossed as soon as he noticed a long black muzzle protruding from his face. He had taken a moment of silence, his expression going blank as he goggled fixedly at the muzzle.

...

"Kai." Calmly, he noted that nothing happened. He hadn't been returned to a human. He didn't need the hand symbols anymore, as he was the strongest Genjustu master currently alive— Since he was sure he was alive— so he was sure nothing had happened. This was real. Itachi inhaled, and exhaled tiredly. He just wanted to close his eyes forever and fall back into the deep blissful unawareness that was the abyss of sweet unconsciousness. Sadly, it was not to be. He was alive, and needed to get up to figure out what was going on. With this logic in mind, he silently rolled his current body off of the bed onto to floor.

Clop.

Itachi immediately recognized what he was, a horse. A small horse, a pony even. It was possible that he was a summoning creature, but in all likelihood that wasn't the case. Itachi needed clues, and he would be damned if he didn't get them. Absently, he noted that it was beginning to rain. Droplets of water appeared on the window, with thunder clouds rolling in to deliver the rain.

If Itachi had been looking at the window and sensing, he'd know that there were flying ponies behind the cloud; pushing them for a schedule maintenance.

***

Itachi stalked silently through the halls, he would call it a stalk but had anyone been around they would have called it a prowl. Itachi was unconsciously nerve wracking to anyone, and everyone. The floor was the same type of marble floor that he'd awoken to in the first room before he'd made his departure. His first task had been unplugging the heart monitor as not to cause alert when he'd pulled it off. He'd pulled the drip of the IV off as well and made his way out, where he found himself in the middle of the night prowling a corridor. He honestly didn't have a goal, he just wanted to be out of bed without any interruptions. He found himself at a lost, there was nothing for him to do. Sasuke was now free, by this point and no longer needed him. Nor did Itachi want to return home, to the endless war. Not to mention, he couldn't sit around Konoha and pretend like nothing happened. Like he didn't kill his family in cold blood, like he hadn't turned his little child brother into a weapon of justice and power to take him down for over eight years. His brother wouldn't mind, but he couldn't bring himself to.

So, with this logic Itachi didn't know what he should do next. Before long he found himself staring outside a window with his lips thinned out. To say Itachi was displeased would be an understatement. Itachi always knew what to do, what he would do, what he could do. To have his ever present foreknowledge suddenly not exist anymore, it was in Itachi's opinion, unfair. This world was quite beautiful, despite it's animated look. There was an abundance of colors everywhere. Even through the not so dark night, he could clearly see fine. The rain made for a slightly melancholy look that was supported by the moon. Which such a beautiful piece, he was deeply disturbed how even the moon could be used for nefarious shinobi purposes. It seemed like nothing was safe from the practices, and art of murder. Man, woman, animal, or child. Itachi was well aware of what training to be a ninja could do to a child better than anyone.

Itachi sat there, just pondering everything. Finally he decided, he needed a place to be. He needed to gather data, so that he could finally know what to do in this situation.

***

Itachi found himself standing outside in the rain, it was a refreshing feeling after obviously been unconscious for such a long period of time. He decided it was time for him to find out where he was.

Hopefully without any violence.