Stealing The Riche's Jewelsby FlareFlarerpChaptersChapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10/4th Wall BreakChapter 7Chapter 4Author's Note Well after the first fanfic Necromorph and I wrote was about Vinyl and Octavia getting it nice ‘n dirty in the bedroom, for this one I re-watched Get Smart, 21 & 22 Jump Street and also all the Men in Black again. I talked it over with Necromorph and we’ve decided to make the second one somewhat not about just two ponies hiding the pickle in the jar or making sweet love or you know what I mean. We decided on making this a five part story or hell, even a ten part story and make it a big novel and sell it for all you bronies to read and enjoy another awesome fanfic that took less time than an average dark or sadfic. I also decided to make me and Necromorph make an appearance in this story to make this story more elaborate the story more and make it more funny because in this story. So here’s the story rundown motherbuckers, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia are having a normal average day in the new anthro/human world. They go out to their anniversary dinner but then they strangely hired by secret agent Bon Bon and Lyra which who work for Necromorph and I. They must steal the infamous Filthy Rich’s expensive necklace but they will realize it’s more than just petty theft. This story will also take place in the human world because this will be less confusing to the reader of how the physics are of a regular pony holding a gun with their hoof. Am I blabbering too much?! Let’s get on with the story! P.S.: We had a more bigger budget for this story so we can put more description when it is needed. Enjoy. WUBBA DUB DUB MOTHERBUCKERS P.S.S.: This is also a anthro/human universe. Like they have feet but anthro features like fur, but no wings or horns or anything. Plus this also has A LOT of TV and Movie references and it will be like that for the remaining of this series. So have a problem? I’m just gonna delete your comment cause really? Just enjoy some TV and movie quote Rip offs. It’s funny trust me. Okay now let’s go into the story P.S.S.S: Everyone is not under age so don’t give a crap about that. Also there is a french joke in Chapter 6. If you took french and could translate it without using google translate. You can be our friend. Okay NOW! Let’s get on with the story Chapter 4 Stealing the Riche’s Jewels A Comedy/Action/Romance Fanfic By Flare Flare & Necromorph Chapter 4 It had been months after Vinyl and Octavia had gotten into their last fight and weeks since they had weirdly woken up in the human world but had gotten use to it. Octavia could still play the cello right. Vinyl could party like the DJ she was. Nothing really had changed but only time will tell when their life will soon once change again. Vinyl was walking down the street with her headphones on blasting rap music out loud. She was walking home to her apartment where her and Octavia had been living for the past two months. When she walked inside the apartment, her marefriend Octavia was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and having some tea as any Trottingham mare would be doing on an average day. Vinyl walked into the kitchen, dancing to the beat of her music. “Hello Vinyl” Octavia said with a annoyed look. Vinyl was too busy to notice Octavia talking to her. “Vinyl, VINYL” “Fuck da police coming straight from the underground.” Vinyl said singing. “CEASE YOUR INCESSANT YAMMERING VINYL”. Octavia yelled. “WHAT?!” Vinyl yelled back, taking off her headphones. “This is the second time you promised to lower the volume on those things and you failed to do so.” Octavia said with a deep said and facepalm. “But everytime I do, I get laid” Vinyl said taking off her glasses. “It doesn’t matter now, I just hate yelling to get your attention. Anyway...Let’s go out for dinner like you promised me last week to take me out to the fancy restaurant.” Octavia said. “OKAY!” Vinyl yelled with a bright smile and chuckle. Octavia just gave Vinyl a straight face and sighed as she got up from her chair, put her teacup in the sink along with the china plate, left the kitchen and went upstairs to her room to get dressed. Chapter 5Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Chapter 6Chapter 6 “HELP! HELP!” Both mares tried to scream but unbeknownst to them, the whole restaurant was just made of cardboard. The cardboard outlines fell down. Lyra and Bon Bon stood in front of a desk as two twirly chairs turned around and there sat Flare Flare and Necromorph. Lyra and Bon Bon unbagged both mares and both blinked a couple of times and looked around, “Now that I am unbagged...WUBBA DUB DUB MOTHERBUCKER.” Vinyl said as some dubstep music started playing moments later. Both mares looked at the two people sitting at the desk. Flare Flare looked like any person you might see in a crowd, she was a female. Had light white tannish skin. Her hair a mixture of tan, aqua blue, blue and green. Her eyes a warm orange. But she kept her warm eyes covered with purple aviators. She had a muscular built body. She also had military training. She was the type of the person whose expression was, ‘I’ll have sex with you, but then I’ll leave you and kill you if you give me the herp.’ The Draconequus on the right, Necromorph, looked like someone had burnt his skin off. He had the body that looked like Discord’s but take that image of Discord’s body and remove all thought of any skin from the neck down and you have Necromorph. Necromorph had powers like Discord’s but was much more powerful. His eyes were blood red. He was not only Flare Flare’s mentor but also a very good friend of her’s. He had given her military training and took her under his wing ever since. Flare Flare looked at Necromorph and shook her head as the music was turned to death metal. Octavia covered her ears and yelled, “SHUT IT OFF!” Flare quickly turned off the music. Necromorphs head twisted a full three hundred and sixty degrees as he said, “Who turned off the DEATH METAL?! I WILL EAT YOUR HEART AND CRAP OUT YOUR SOUL! YOU WILL ALL TASTE OBLIVION… which tastes just like Red Bull… which is disgusting.” Flare Flare covered Necromorphs mouth, “Just shut the fuck up Necromorph.” She said uncovering his mouth “Only if you put the death metal back on” he said like a child that wants a toy “NO” Vinyl and Octavia both said in unision. “Never be alone” He said murderously. “Will someone please explain why we are here and why this restaurant was a hoax?” Octavia asked “A cardboard hoax I might add” Vinyl said impatiently “Maybe if you shut up maybe we can explain why.” Flare Flare said in a smartass tone “I’ll handle this Flare… Minion 43, could you come in here for a moment. I need an example” Necromorph said as a pudgy man with 43 on his shirt “Minion 43 reporting for duty sirs, an example for what”? He was quickly interrupted as Necromorph breath black fire on him. Minion 43 screamed in dear agony. Octavia and Vinyl looked at Flare Flare and Necromorph. Flare Flare and Necromorph gave them straight faces as Minion 43 kept screaming and dropped down to the floor and died. When the screaming stopped, nothing was left of Minion 43 but a small blue orb, which Necromorph promptly devoured. “Any more questions?” Necromorph asked Vinyl and Octavia. Both of them shook their head. Flare Flare took a deep sigh and blinked a couple times, “Now that’s out of the way I just want to ask you---” She started as she was interrupted by a cellphone ringtone which was “Baby” by Justin Bieber. She quickly took out her pistol and shot the guard in the head. “NICE” said Necromorph after eating the guards soul “Now if there isn’t any more INTERRUPTIONS! I would like to continue.” Flare Flare said with a frustrated look. There was a moment of silence and Flare looked around and waited another few moments then exhaled, “Now do you two know what this is?” Flare Flare asked “No idea.” Vinyl said “Did you say your name was Flare?” Octavia said. “Yes I did.” Flare Flare said “Then if my guess is correct which I know it is then we are in the Pony Intelligence Agency or the P.I.A. and you must be the famous Flare Flare The one who worked for Princess Celestia for a while.” Octavia said sitting back in her seat. “Smart one we have here.” Flare said sitting back in her chair “Why do you always have to be the smart one Tavi?” Vinyl said with a smart aleck tone. “Because you're too busy pressing play on what you call ‘music’ to realize that I went to the academy for smartness.” Octavia said. “Okay...I give you that one.” Vinyl said sitting back in the chair crossing her arms. “But what do you want with us? We’ve done nothing wrong.” Octavia said “Oh it’s not about you two doing anything wrong it’s about you two about to do something wrong.” Necromorph said with a mischievous smile. “What do you mean?” Octavia asked with a confused look “Are you familiar with the name Filthy Rich?” Flare asked “Yeah he requested a few times for me to perform for him and his friends.” Octavia said in a gentle tone. Both Flare Flare and Necromorph looked at each other and started cracking up with laughter. “Silly filly-he doesn’t have any friends that he didn’t hire”. Necromorph said before he was broadly interrupted by a crunching noise made by Flare Flare. Necromorph slowly twisted his head to Flare. Flare then stopped chewing her bowl of Trix cereal and looked at Necromorph, “Can I help you?” Flare Flare said with a mouth full of cereal “Flare...in the commercial in which the cereal you are eating is advertised, what does the kid say to that rabbit?” “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for fillies.” Flare said with a confused look. “Very good now use your brain for this one Flare, if Trix are for fillies, who might not be allowed to eat them?” Necromorph said “Mares?” Flare said with more of a confused look. “That’s right. Now I want you to think long and hard about this one, can you do that?” Necromorph said facetiously. But Vinyl was too busy thinking with her dirty mind and said, “HA long and hard. BOW CHICKA BOW-bang WHOA OK OK I’M SORRY!” Vinyl yelled as she saw that Necromorph had shot at her, narrowly missing her head. “I won’t miss next time so I’d advise you to shut your mouth...So as I was saying…..Please continue Flare.” Necromorph said with a smile, looking at Flare Flare. “I’m not suppose to---crash” Necromorph swatted the bowl of cereal out of Flare Flare’s hands and onto the floor. “Fuck your cereal.” Necromorph said. Flare Flare’s jaw dropped as she started to shiver, “My TRIX!.” “Well that serves you right for interrupting me for the millionth time now clean that up.” Necromorph said making an arm gesture at the mess on the floor. “You fucking do it. I’m not the maid.” Flare said making an arm gesture from Necromorph to the mess. Necromorph sighed and snapped his fingers as a maid walked in shaking in her head, saying some curse words, “Putain , je ne suis pas payé assez pour ce putain de merde . 40 heures putain je travaille pour cette draconequus et cette chienne coincé.” The maid said as she left the room cursing more. The room fell quiet until the maid left and then Flare Flare said, “I didn’t get to eat breakfast you meanie.” She said pouting. Necromorph rolled his eyes and slammed a bowl of Raisin Bran on the table, “This is what adults eat.” “Fuck that nasty shit I’m not eating that. I don’t even fuck with healthy shit” Flare said with a disgusted look “Well too FUCKING BAD!.” Necromorph yelled then turning back to face the two mares and exhales deeply. Flare slowly took the bowl and started eating it. Octavia waited a few moments then asked, “Are you two dating or something? Cause it looks like you two are close.” “No. We’re just business partners who happen to live in a townhouse together.” Flare said with a mouth full of cereal. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Vinyl said “You’re about to kiss this dick with your mouth.” Flare said still chewing her food as she sat back in her chair. “ENOUGH! Just tell us the deal and we’ll get it done you guys already ruined my evening.” Octavia said with a scoff and crossing her legs and arms. “Tough luck princess do you know how much this all cost us? Hm?” Flare Flare said. “I don’t know and rather not care.” Octavia said with much sarcasm “It cost us more then you make in a year. No scratch that, it cost us more than what you make in two GOOD years.” Flare said nodding her head. “For what? A big cardboard outline of the interior and exterior of the restaurant?” Octavia said trying to sound like a smarty pants. “The artist wanted a 30% cut upfront then the rest of the payment when he was done.” Flare said with a straight face. “Woop Dee-Do.” Octavia said as she rolled her eyes “Just tell them the deal Flare. I have a dinner date with my girlfriend tomorrow night.” Necromorph said as he placed his face in a boring state “No you don’t.” Flare Flare said sitting back in her chair again finishing off her cereal and throwing it in the trash bin sulking her head. “What do you have against the Riche family Flare? Revenge? Annihilation? Or have you stooped down so low in the world you just want everyone GONE?!” Octavia said panting short of breath. Flare sat there and then picked her head up, “Mr.Riche hired one of his assassins to assassinate one of my closest mare friends but he failed and ever since I’ve been hunting down the rat bastard so yea I guess you can say it’s FUCKING REVENGE!” Flare said slamming her fist down on the table. “If I ever meet him, I’m taking his eyes as souvenirs.” “Wait why did you say that?” Flare said looking at Necromorph with a confused look “I care for you Flare.” Necromorph said reaching his skeletal claw towards Flare Flare’s shoulder Flare Flare quickly brushed his claw away from her, “Don’t you dare touch me you Bit--” Flare started but her mouth was covered before she could say anything else “Say it. I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker. Say it!” Necromorph yelled in a Samuel L. Jackson tone. The room got quiet as Flare took Necromorphs claw away from her mouth and then Necromorph lost his shit and began to yell, and in that moment, they all knew they had fucked up royally. Come on it’s like digging straight down or up in minecraft. It only ends badly. “OK THAT’S IT EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! God do I have to do everything myself? Look we want you to steal the Rich’s crown jewels, this will make their social standing fall. If that happens, then they will become poor. So not only will we kill him, but we’ll take what he cares for most-” “His daughter?” Flare said “NO! Money!” Necromorph said “Awwwww but I call I one night stand with her.” Flare said Necromorph facepalmed, “No Flare! She’s-look you're like 3000 years old, and this girl is like 25. And besides he doesn’t care for her.” “B-But” “No Buts Flare. It’s either we do that or we don’t do it at all.” Necromorph said in a stern tone. “Okay fine let’s do this. What’s the plan though?” Flare asked. “Oh just leave that to me.” Necromorph said as the Mission Impossible theme started to play. Chapter 8Chapter 8 At the Riche Mansion, there were many ponies about and enjoying the party. Filthy Rich was walking around as he walked up on his daughter, Diamond Tiara, who was wearing her fancy pink and blue dress that she had got for her sweet sixteen. “Oh, hey dad. Have you fucked mom yet?” Diamond Tiara said, rolling her eyes. “Oh come now, that is what people do when they love each other.” Filthy Rich said “So why did you marry her?” Diamond Tiara said raising an eyebrow “Income tax” Filthy Rich said “No, why did you really marry her?” Diamond Tiara said with a straight face “She can shoot fire from her hands, and I just think-” Filthy Rich started “Nevermind” Diamond Tiara said as she facepalmed “Oh come cheer up my little Dia. Ever since we bought the necklace, most of the fancy women have gotten jealous of me having it.” Filthy Rich said like any show-off would. “That’s because they don’t know how you actually got it.” Diamond Tiara said with a sigh and another eye roll. “And you better keep it all quiet if you know what’s best for you.” Filthy Rich said in a stern voice. Outside the mansion, a limo pulled up and Silver Spoon got out with her parents and then a few Lamborghinis pulled up behind the limo as Silver Spoon got out and looked at them. Flare Flare got out of one of them and exhaled as Necromorph got out of the second one as he straighten his tie. “Flare Flare? Is that you?” Silver Spoon said with a confused look Flare Flare looked over to her left and saw Silver Spoon, “Silvy. What brings you here besides the sight of Diamond?” Flare asked “Parents always drag me here. I don’t mind it.” Silver Spoon said walking to Flare Flare. “Well I don’t want to keep you waiting on Dia. Don’t wait up.” Flare said walking past Silver Spoon and up the stairs into the mansion. Silver Spoon watched and sulk her head as Necromorph went up to her and put a hand on her shoulder, “Trust me she’s always like that. You have to make a move on her first for her to not do that.” He said as he patted her shoulder and walked away as Silver Spoon sighed deeply. Necromorph and Flare entered the mansion and Necromorph adjusted his tie as she spoke into his hidden mic, “Testing testing.” “Loud and clear.” Lyra said “Over and out.” Bon Bon said “I can hear you.” Octavia said “Wub wub wub.” Vinyl said “Deez nutz.” Flare Flare said. Necromorph walked through the crowd with Flare Flare behind him. Flare Flare was then pulled away from Necromorph to the side by Diamond Tiara. She was wearing her fancy dress that she had gotten a little while back on her nineteenth birthday. She was wearing her tiara that she had been wearing as a little kid. She brought Flare Flare into a hug, “So glad you could make it Flare.” She said Flare smiled and hugged Diamond Tiara back, “Glad that you’re out of your room Dia.” Diamond Tiara scoffed then chuckled, “Always with the jokes Flare.” She said. “Well you know me...Always a class clown.” Flare Flare said as she broke the hug. Diamond Tiara smiled as she combed her hair behind her ear and smiled, “I’m guessing already you're here on your own terms because I know you didn’t get invited.” “How did you...” Flare said “I’m not stupid Flarely dear. I read your file last night and I now know your work with the P.I.A and if I’m gonna guess correct your here to kidnap me.” Diamond Tiara said crossing her arms “Sorta.” Flare said Diamond Tiara thought for a second then said, “Tell you what Flare...You tell me your plan and I’ll help you because my step father is a real asshole and pays no attention to me anyways. I’ll give you something even more special.” Diamond Tiara said as she ran her fingers up Flare Flare’s arm up to her cheek. Flare Flare blushed dark red as Diamond Tiara grabbed Flare Flare’s hand and walked with her to a hallway around the corner and quickly pulled Flare Flare and into a deep warm passionate kiss. (Insert MLG Air horns here) Flare Flare kissed Diamond Tiara back as Diamond Tiara pulled Flare Flare close to her. After a few warm passionate moments, Diamond Tiara broke the kiss and said looking at Flare Flare in the eyes, “I’m sorry I just really needed to get that out of the way.” “It’s fine I really needed that too.” Flare Flare said panting as she licked her lips and looked around making sure no one was watching. “Now why are you here?” Diamond Tiara asked. “You know the secret elevator that leads down to the tunnel that is under the main staircase?” Flare asked panting a little from short of breath “Yeah. What about it?” Diamond Tiara asked “We’re stealing that new necklace that he has so he loses reputation.” Flare said “You can’t do that. That’s beyond the P.I.A work.” Diamond Tiara said “Your father tried to kill an old mare friend of mine so, I want to bring his reputation so low Dia you don’t want to know...By embarrassing him in front of his friends.” Flare Flare said with a anger in her eyes. “Then you must know something besides me having a crush on you for a long time now.” Diamond Tiara said “What is it?” Flare asked “My father stole the jewels from the castle. He hired goons to take it and make it look like someone else did it.” Diamond Tiara said with stress in her voice “Clever but I’m taking it back and bringing it back to the rightful owners.” Flare said looking around the corner and then back to Diamond Tiara “What do you need me to do?” Diamond Tiara asked “When I come back I’m taking you and Silver with me.” Flare said looking around the corner again “Flare?” Diamond Tiara asked almost choking on the word “Yeah?” Flare said looking at Diamond Tiara in the eyes Diamond Tiara brought Flare into one more quick kiss then broke it, “Good luck the tunnel is guarded by the elite troops you’ll need to get past them. I’ll go to Silver and stick with her.” Diamond Tiara went around the corner and left and Flare exhaled and licked her lips as she went around the corner too and made her way to Necromorph. Necromorph had been standing near the secret entrance dressed as one of the guards as a guard tried to grab Necromorph and Flare stabbed the guard in the shoulder before Necromorph could react as he turned around, “What held you up?” Necromorph asked in shock “Smooch time with the daughter. She came onto me.” Flare said. “Godammit. Okay...head in the kitchen with me the other agents are waiting.” Necromorph said as he covered Flare as she dragged the guard into the kitchen as she laid him down and panted, “Damn he’s heavy.” Flare said as she started strip of his clothes and started to explain the plan to the other agents. “So what did Diamond tell you?” Necromorph asked “Filthy stole the jewels from the castle and I have that on audio and he blamed someone else for it to make it look like a cover-up.” Flare said “I knew something wasn’t right here.” Octavia said “I know me too.” Bon Bon said “And if Filthy gets clean away from this he’ll be able to make detectives turn a blind eye. “What’s the plan?” Lyra asked. “I say we we continue as planned and get away with this quick and clean so we can get this over.” Octavia said “Oh cheer up Octi. This is fun being driven in a limo and they get do be in lamborghinis.” Vinyl said “I actually stole the Lamborghinis from a friend of mine. I’ll just tell him I ‘borrowed’ them.” Flare said tying her boot then standing up. “So what’s the plan? We’re really between a rock and hard place right now. “BOW CHICKA BOW WOW” said Necromorph “And with no weapons.” Octavia said. “I didn’t say you guys would be doing any of the shooting me and Necromorph are going to go down there and I need you guys to stay up here to ward off suspicion. The secret entrance is by the main staircase I want you guys to guard that area and don’t get sidetracked. We’re on a mission folks. As for the shooting…” “You leave that to me” said Necromorph with hunger in his voice. “Why do you keep him around?” said Vinyl Flare looked at a guard and then looked at Necromorph, “Hey Necromorph isn’t that the guy who called your tiny pink hat I gave you stupid?” Flare said To this Necromorph only gave an angry, yet hungry growl “I thought so. Sick ‘em” Flare said Necromorph then proceeded to tear the guards spines out and eat their souls “That’s why.” Flare said. “Okay then.” Vinyl said. “So are we are all clear on our objectives?” Flare said. “Yep.” Octavia said “Over and out.” Lyra said “Can I change my code name to Carlos spicy wiener?” Necromorph asked. “SHUT UP NECROMORPH” She yelled “Sorry didn’t copy that” Necromorph said Flare sighed, “Please shut up Carlos Spicy Wiener.” “Oh that’s better I can hear you now. Anyway copy that” “Roger Roger?” Vinyl said Chapter 9Chapter 9 The other ponies began to continue to keep their cool as Necromorph and Flare made their way down the secret elevator that was playing the imperial march by John Williams in a funky tune, “I like this.” Flare said looking up at Necromorph. “Me too. It’s the kind of thing I could lead an army to.” Necromorph said nodding his head to the tune. When the elevator reached the bottom the doors open and there were two guards that turned around as Flare approached the guards with Necromorph in handcuffs. “Where are you taking this ‘thing’?” The guard asked. “The vault.” Flare said. “Wait hold on Flare I got this.” Necromorph said as he approached the guard. “Did you just call me a… oh what was it… oh a thing?” “Uhh yes… I don’t what to call you.” The guard said “He is a creature I give him that.” Flare said. “Flare Flare please the men are talking.” Necromorph said “Okay just saying man.” Flare Flare said with a shrug Flare took a sniff in the air, “Are those fresh baked cookies?” “Why yes would you like some?” The guard said taking out a fresh batch cookies right before Flare shot both guards as the fresh batch batch of cookies landing perfect on the desk. “Boring conversation anyway.” Flare said as they got set up to find the code for the vault Then all of the sudden, Filthy Rich’s voice came over the intercom, “Everything alright there? I heard shooting.” Flare pressed the button on the intercom, “Uhh...Everything is fine just testing a gun down here cause it’s boring down but the situation is perfectly normal. Your daughter was totally not laid last night.” “You know…..Now that you say that...Should I get her tested?’ Filthy RIch asked. “Well my personal opinion would be no as my own input but if you want that’s totally up to you.” Flare said. “And since we’re on that topic do you think I should get tested too?” Filthy Rich said. Flare looked up at Necromorph who was whistling innocently, “Will you go to the vault? I got this covered.” “Are you kidding me? I’m not a hacker.” Flare Flare took out a ball of yarn and tossed it up and down in her hand as Necromorphs eyes followed the ball of yarn “Want the ball of yarn?” Flare said Necromorph nodded his head Flare threw the ball of yarn down towards the vault as Necromorph chased after it, “Come back here ball of yarn I will kill your mother.” Flare turned off the intercom as she took her earpiece and put in her ear buds and started to typing random keys on the keyboard at a fast rate as she listened to Prayer of The Refugee by Rise Against. After a few moments of typing fast the security went down as Flare Flare took out her earbuds and put her earpiece back in, “I’m in. Vault door opening. Rejoining Necromorph.” “You better hurry Flare, guards on their way to you now.” Octavia said. “Fucking Celestia christ, do I ever have an easy job?” Flare mumbled sighing thinking of a quick plan. When the guards came down the elevator, Flare was tied on the floor dressed as one of them as they untied her, “Are you okay miss?” The guard asked kneeling down to her. “Now I am.” Flare said as she grabbed her pistol and shot the a guard, and rolled out of the way as another shot her. She came at them like a hurricane and used one of the guards as a shield to protect against a guard firing out of sheer terror. Flare Flare grabbed a shotgun from her back and shot one in the balls, and then the other in the face. The remaining guard had a gun to Flares head, and before the guard could fire, their entire body shuddered, as an unseen force caused him to shoot himself in the face. When the last guard fell down Flare sighed as the elevator door opened again and Diamond walked out as Flare Flare reacted quickly pointing her gun at her then putting it down, “Celestia fuck Dia you scared the crap out of me. I told you to stay up there.” “Your making so much noise that reinforcements has been called to the mansion and besides I’m the only one know where it is. We gotta hurry my father will shortly notice where I went and come after me.” Diamond Tiara said walking past Flare as Flare stood there for a second as she said, “Hey Flare thanks for taking out all these goons. Sigh The things I do for love.” Flare said turning around and quickly grabbing a few cookies as she caught up to Diamond Tiara to the vault. Diamond Tiara walked inside with Flare Flare and Necromorph as Flare Flare scanned the room with her gun in her hands. The vault had stacks of gold bullion that went on for yards. Flare slowly lowered her gun slowly looking around the room, “Uh Dia?” “Yeah I know Flare. I see it too. But I don’t understand how he got all this gold.” Diamond Tiara said in a confused voice. “This is a shitload of gold.” Necromorph said “I know what this is.” Flare Flare said stopping her tracks, putting her gun in her holster as Diamond Tiara and Necromorph looked at Flare “This is all the royal treasure. Fuckin’ prick has been running treasury heists under his house.” “But how? How can my father do this?” Diamond Tiara said pacing around the room switching her attention between the room and Flare Flare. “I think he’s been doing this for years now. Fucking cold son of a bitch. We’ll need a helicopter to bring the jewels out. Come on.” Flare Flare said walking out of the vault followed by Necromorph and Diamond Tiara. Halfway down the hallway they were greeted by Filthy Rich and a platoon of his elite troops. Flare sighed deeply as Filthy Rich took a couple steps towards them, “Well well what do we have here?” “Filthy Rich I presume.” Flare said in a smartass tone. “Yes how did you guessed it?” Filthy Rich said with his arms wide open “Cause I kissed your daughter.” Flare said with sarcasm. Filthy Rich stopped and looked at Diamond Tiara, “Dia can I talk to you in the other room for a second.” They both went into a side office as Flare Flare and Necromorph heard only the sound of mumbling voices and the sound of a slap and Filthy Rich walked back out and Flare Flare and Necromorph were gone, “I told you guys to guard them.” Filthy Rich yelled. “No you didn’t sir.” One of the troops said. 20 seconds earlier “Hey can we borrow one of you guys uniform and blend in?” Flare Flare asked. The soldier shrugged his shoulder, “Sure why not at least he didn’t say guard you.” 20 seconds later “Where are they?!” Filthy Rich yelled. “They escaped sir.” The soldier said “How?” Filthy Rich said with a facepalm “Magic Sir.” The soldier said “Never mind that. Take my daughter back up and tell the guests the party is over.” Filthy Rich said with a sigh motioning his guards to go “Yes Sir. Come on Diamond.” The soldier said as Diamond went into the group of soldiers and right next to Flare Flare as they all turned around and took the elevator back up. Diamond Tiara looked at Flare Flare and a expression of surprised went on her face, “Oh your good Flarey. How did you get the uniform?” Diamond asked “Had to kill one of his guards. It was the guard that least wanted to work here and had no future.” Flare Flare said. “That makes you a cold blooded killer.” Diamond Tiara said with concern in her voice. “I didn’t kill him Necromorph did.” Flare said Necromorph licked his lips. Chapter 10/4th Wall BreakChapter 10 The guards left the elevator as Flare Flare shot her blank pistol in the air, “Okay folks party over. OUT! NOW!” The men and women started to quickly leave as Flare Flare, Necromorph, Octavia, Lyra, Vinyl, Bon Bon, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left too. Halfway down the street Silver Spoon broke the ice, “Is anyone going to explain what the absolute hell is going on?!” They all stopped and got out of the way as Necromorph turned around to face Silver Spoon. “Shut your pretty mouth and hair and face and glasses the fuck up or I get to see what you taste like” said Necromorph with very little patience in his already agitated voice, but then he realized what he said and he blushed as much as a skeleton could. “Uhhm… I don’t… I can’t” stammered Silver Spoon “Oh never mind” said Necromorph as he stormed off and was about to tear a passer byers throat but he then realised Silver Spoon was watching. He hesitated then dropped the filly and ran off. The group saw the filly had a silver coat with a ingot on her flank. “Necromorph! Uh I’ll be back” Flare said as she bolted after him Yelling his name all the while. “OMG Silver Spoon are you two…” “NO DIA he’s a murderer, what with his cold eyes and strong shoulders and his confidence and his selflessness and his-” she said but was then interrupted by a look of shock from Diamond Tiara. “-l-l-lack of regard for human life” she stuttered, blushing all the while. “Well it doesn’t make it anymore less different than you and Flare Flare.” Silver Spoon said raising her voice “What do you mean?” Diamond Tiara said with a confused look “Oh PUHLEASE I see the way you two look at each other.” Silver Spoon said rolling her eyes “That’s irrelevant.” Diamond Tiara said trying to talk smack to Silver Spoon. “Really? I think it is very relevant. I haven’t seen you look at someone like that since you saw that boy in middle school. You know the one who kinda looked like that one guy from that movie twilight.” “This has nothing to do with me and Flare.” Diamond Tiara said “Oh so you are using first names now are you?” Silver Spoon spat back “I don’t see you calling Necromorph by his first name.” Diamond Tiara said raising her eyebrows. Meanwhile, Flare Flare and Necromorph were in an alleyway across the street yelling as they were whispering, “Are we really gonna discuss this now?! On a Top Secret Mission?!” Necromorph said. “Yes because we’ll be back for Filthy Rich in part 3: the search for more money.” Flare said “Look I do not like that...brat.” He said the last word without a straight face “Come on I know you want to cum in the money.” Flare said with sarcasm. It was at this moment, Flare knew in her soul that she fucked up. Like come on. It’s like not wearing a condom during sex. It’s fucked up. “Necromorph please I didn’t mean that. Don’t get angry.” she said trying to calm him down “I’M NOT ANGRY! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANGRY! DO I LOOK ANGRY TO YOU!” He whisper yelled, while having a look of unrelenting hatred and rage. You could actually see FIRE in his eyes “No I wouldn’t say angry, I would say along the lines of absolutely livid.” Flare said with a fancy accent. “Look I am Necromorph, master of death. To think that my best friend would even jokingly imply that I could fall for a simple pony is insulting. I should kill you for that. Luckily I made you immortal so I can’t. Even though she is smart and funny and sexy as hell and… ok yea I like her. But you don’t understand Flare I don’t just like her, I love her. I have viewed her from afar and protected her from death. Flare when I kill, my life is lengthened, but I used my power to save hers and now her life is much longer. And that makes me weaker” he said with fear in his eyes Flare’s jaw dropped. She went speechless for a few moments. Necromorph snapped his fingers at Flare’s face as she stood there blankly at him. “Flare you alright?” Necromorph said snapping his fingers Flare continuously to stare at Necromorph for a few more seconds then fainted. But what they didn’t know was that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara were right… around… THE CORNER duh dun duuuuuuuh CLIFFHANGER “Hello everyone I’m Flare Flare.” “And I’m Necromorph.” “I hope you all enjoyed this cliff hanger.” Necromorph singing. “I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP” Flare punched Necromorph in the face knocking him out of the director’s seat “NO! No! No! Bad! Bad Necromorph!” “Silivermoph for life yo.” Chapter 7Chapter 7 The four agents sat in a room with a load of other agents that were from the Men in Black agency as Flare Flare and Necromorph walked into the room in the room in their suit as they went to the front of the room as Necromorph started to explain as Flare Flare placed a silver case on the front table, “Okay agents we are about to pull off the greatest heist known to man. Stealing Filthy Rich’s jewels. Now thanks to two agents who have been working undercover at the mansion have recovered blueprints of the underground tunnel leading up to the vault. It’s in total of 200 feet long once you take the elevator down to the entrance to the tunnel. The mansion consists of 4 floors and over 30 rooms so don’t get lost. Lyra and Bon Bon you’ll be driving Octavia, Vinyl, Flare and I to the front entrance where us three will pose as friends then I want you two to ditch the limo somewhere and meet us in the basement where Flare will hack the code and-” “BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HACK” Flare yelled “Oh just uhhhh rub your marehood on it or something I don’t know” Necromorph mumbled “Oh so you don’t know what I should do or how I should do it, but I better do it well?” Flare asked “Essentially” Necromorph said “FUCK YOU” Flare Flare yelled. “WHOA, I’m sensing a lot of negativity here, and I don’t appreciate it.” Necromorph said. “Well honestly how would you react if I asked you to give birth” Flare asked. “When was the last time you were fertile enough to give birth?” Necromorph said. “That’s fair” Flare said with a reasonable voice. “Yeah you two are definitely in love” Octavia said “YOU BASTARD-”Necromorph said, about to lounge, But Flare stopped him. “Good Necromorph, uhh no murdering everyone” Flare said petting him. “NEVER BE ALONE” he said with a gun in his hand. “Put the gun away. What did we talk about last therapy session?” Flare said. “Expressing my feelings calmly” Necromorph sighed and said “Good. Now what are you doing now?” Flare asked. “Well right now I feel like hitting the one with the cello in the GODDAMN MOUTH” Necromorph said semi-calmly “Now do you think that is a good idea?” Flare said in a calm manner. “Hell to the fuck yes” he said with no emotion at all Flare Flare sprayed Necromorph with a spray bottle full of water, “Bad Necromorph. Bad!” Necromorph hissed at Flare Flare Flare Flare put away the spray bottle as she began to speak, “The rest of you agents will be back-up if things go to shit. Is everyone ready to make history?” “AMEN.” All the agents said in unison as if they were hearing Flare Flare preach. “Okay let’s do this.” Flare Flare said
Chapter 4Author's Note Well after the first fanfic Necromorph and I wrote was about Vinyl and Octavia getting it nice ‘n dirty in the bedroom, for this one I re-watched Get Smart, 21 & 22 Jump Street and also all the Men in Black again. I talked it over with Necromorph and we’ve decided to make the second one somewhat not about just two ponies hiding the pickle in the jar or making sweet love or you know what I mean. We decided on making this a five part story or hell, even a ten part story and make it a big novel and sell it for all you bronies to read and enjoy another awesome fanfic that took less time than an average dark or sadfic. I also decided to make me and Necromorph make an appearance in this story to make this story more elaborate the story more and make it more funny because in this story. So here’s the story rundown motherbuckers, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia are having a normal average day in the new anthro/human world. They go out to their anniversary dinner but then they strangely hired by secret agent Bon Bon and Lyra which who work for Necromorph and I. They must steal the infamous Filthy Rich’s expensive necklace but they will realize it’s more than just petty theft. This story will also take place in the human world because this will be less confusing to the reader of how the physics are of a regular pony holding a gun with their hoof. Am I blabbering too much?! Let’s get on with the story! P.S.: We had a more bigger budget for this story so we can put more description when it is needed. Enjoy. WUBBA DUB DUB MOTHERBUCKERS P.S.S.: This is also a anthro/human universe. Like they have feet but anthro features like fur, but no wings or horns or anything. Plus this also has A LOT of TV and Movie references and it will be like that for the remaining of this series. So have a problem? I’m just gonna delete your comment cause really? Just enjoy some TV and movie quote Rip offs. It’s funny trust me. Okay now let’s go into the story P.S.S.S: Everyone is not under age so don’t give a crap about that. Also there is a french joke in Chapter 6. If you took french and could translate it without using google translate. You can be our friend. Okay NOW! Let’s get on with the story Chapter 4 Stealing the Riche’s Jewels A Comedy/Action/Romance Fanfic By Flare Flare & Necromorph Chapter 4 It had been months after Vinyl and Octavia had gotten into their last fight and weeks since they had weirdly woken up in the human world but had gotten use to it. Octavia could still play the cello right. Vinyl could party like the DJ she was. Nothing really had changed but only time will tell when their life will soon once change again. Vinyl was walking down the street with her headphones on blasting rap music out loud. She was walking home to her apartment where her and Octavia had been living for the past two months. When she walked inside the apartment, her marefriend Octavia was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and having some tea as any Trottingham mare would be doing on an average day. Vinyl walked into the kitchen, dancing to the beat of her music. “Hello Vinyl” Octavia said with a annoyed look. Vinyl was too busy to notice Octavia talking to her. “Vinyl, VINYL” “Fuck da police coming straight from the underground.” Vinyl said singing. “CEASE YOUR INCESSANT YAMMERING VINYL”. Octavia yelled. “WHAT?!” Vinyl yelled back, taking off her headphones. “This is the second time you promised to lower the volume on those things and you failed to do so.” Octavia said with a deep said and facepalm. “But everytime I do, I get laid” Vinyl said taking off her glasses. “It doesn’t matter now, I just hate yelling to get your attention. Anyway...Let’s go out for dinner like you promised me last week to take me out to the fancy restaurant.” Octavia said. “OKAY!” Vinyl yelled with a bright smile and chuckle. Octavia just gave Vinyl a straight face and sighed as she got up from her chair, put her teacup in the sink along with the china plate, left the kitchen and went upstairs to her room to get dressed.
Chapter 6Chapter 6 “HELP! HELP!” Both mares tried to scream but unbeknownst to them, the whole restaurant was just made of cardboard. The cardboard outlines fell down. Lyra and Bon Bon stood in front of a desk as two twirly chairs turned around and there sat Flare Flare and Necromorph. Lyra and Bon Bon unbagged both mares and both blinked a couple of times and looked around, “Now that I am unbagged...WUBBA DUB DUB MOTHERBUCKER.” Vinyl said as some dubstep music started playing moments later. Both mares looked at the two people sitting at the desk. Flare Flare looked like any person you might see in a crowd, she was a female. Had light white tannish skin. Her hair a mixture of tan, aqua blue, blue and green. Her eyes a warm orange. But she kept her warm eyes covered with purple aviators. She had a muscular built body. She also had military training. She was the type of the person whose expression was, ‘I’ll have sex with you, but then I’ll leave you and kill you if you give me the herp.’ The Draconequus on the right, Necromorph, looked like someone had burnt his skin off. He had the body that looked like Discord’s but take that image of Discord’s body and remove all thought of any skin from the neck down and you have Necromorph. Necromorph had powers like Discord’s but was much more powerful. His eyes were blood red. He was not only Flare Flare’s mentor but also a very good friend of her’s. He had given her military training and took her under his wing ever since. Flare Flare looked at Necromorph and shook her head as the music was turned to death metal. Octavia covered her ears and yelled, “SHUT IT OFF!” Flare quickly turned off the music. Necromorphs head twisted a full three hundred and sixty degrees as he said, “Who turned off the DEATH METAL?! I WILL EAT YOUR HEART AND CRAP OUT YOUR SOUL! YOU WILL ALL TASTE OBLIVION… which tastes just like Red Bull… which is disgusting.” Flare Flare covered Necromorphs mouth, “Just shut the fuck up Necromorph.” She said uncovering his mouth “Only if you put the death metal back on” he said like a child that wants a toy “NO” Vinyl and Octavia both said in unision. “Never be alone” He said murderously. “Will someone please explain why we are here and why this restaurant was a hoax?” Octavia asked “A cardboard hoax I might add” Vinyl said impatiently “Maybe if you shut up maybe we can explain why.” Flare Flare said in a smartass tone “I’ll handle this Flare… Minion 43, could you come in here for a moment. I need an example” Necromorph said as a pudgy man with 43 on his shirt “Minion 43 reporting for duty sirs, an example for what”? He was quickly interrupted as Necromorph breath black fire on him. Minion 43 screamed in dear agony. Octavia and Vinyl looked at Flare Flare and Necromorph. Flare Flare and Necromorph gave them straight faces as Minion 43 kept screaming and dropped down to the floor and died. When the screaming stopped, nothing was left of Minion 43 but a small blue orb, which Necromorph promptly devoured. “Any more questions?” Necromorph asked Vinyl and Octavia. Both of them shook their head. Flare Flare took a deep sigh and blinked a couple times, “Now that’s out of the way I just want to ask you---” She started as she was interrupted by a cellphone ringtone which was “Baby” by Justin Bieber. She quickly took out her pistol and shot the guard in the head. “NICE” said Necromorph after eating the guards soul “Now if there isn’t any more INTERRUPTIONS! I would like to continue.” Flare Flare said with a frustrated look. There was a moment of silence and Flare looked around and waited another few moments then exhaled, “Now do you two know what this is?” Flare Flare asked “No idea.” Vinyl said “Did you say your name was Flare?” Octavia said. “Yes I did.” Flare Flare said “Then if my guess is correct which I know it is then we are in the Pony Intelligence Agency or the P.I.A. and you must be the famous Flare Flare The one who worked for Princess Celestia for a while.” Octavia said sitting back in her seat. “Smart one we have here.” Flare said sitting back in her chair “Why do you always have to be the smart one Tavi?” Vinyl said with a smart aleck tone. “Because you're too busy pressing play on what you call ‘music’ to realize that I went to the academy for smartness.” Octavia said. “Okay...I give you that one.” Vinyl said sitting back in the chair crossing her arms. “But what do you want with us? We’ve done nothing wrong.” Octavia said “Oh it’s not about you two doing anything wrong it’s about you two about to do something wrong.” Necromorph said with a mischievous smile. “What do you mean?” Octavia asked with a confused look “Are you familiar with the name Filthy Rich?” Flare asked “Yeah he requested a few times for me to perform for him and his friends.” Octavia said in a gentle tone. Both Flare Flare and Necromorph looked at each other and started cracking up with laughter. “Silly filly-he doesn’t have any friends that he didn’t hire”. Necromorph said before he was broadly interrupted by a crunching noise made by Flare Flare. Necromorph slowly twisted his head to Flare. Flare then stopped chewing her bowl of Trix cereal and looked at Necromorph, “Can I help you?” Flare Flare said with a mouth full of cereal “Flare...in the commercial in which the cereal you are eating is advertised, what does the kid say to that rabbit?” “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for fillies.” Flare said with a confused look. “Very good now use your brain for this one Flare, if Trix are for fillies, who might not be allowed to eat them?” Necromorph said “Mares?” Flare said with more of a confused look. “That’s right. Now I want you to think long and hard about this one, can you do that?” Necromorph said facetiously. But Vinyl was too busy thinking with her dirty mind and said, “HA long and hard. BOW CHICKA BOW-bang WHOA OK OK I’M SORRY!” Vinyl yelled as she saw that Necromorph had shot at her, narrowly missing her head. “I won’t miss next time so I’d advise you to shut your mouth...So as I was saying…..Please continue Flare.” Necromorph said with a smile, looking at Flare Flare. “I’m not suppose to---crash” Necromorph swatted the bowl of cereal out of Flare Flare’s hands and onto the floor. “Fuck your cereal.” Necromorph said. Flare Flare’s jaw dropped as she started to shiver, “My TRIX!.” “Well that serves you right for interrupting me for the millionth time now clean that up.” Necromorph said making an arm gesture at the mess on the floor. “You fucking do it. I’m not the maid.” Flare said making an arm gesture from Necromorph to the mess. Necromorph sighed and snapped his fingers as a maid walked in shaking in her head, saying some curse words, “Putain , je ne suis pas payé assez pour ce putain de merde . 40 heures putain je travaille pour cette draconequus et cette chienne coincé.” The maid said as she left the room cursing more. The room fell quiet until the maid left and then Flare Flare said, “I didn’t get to eat breakfast you meanie.” She said pouting. Necromorph rolled his eyes and slammed a bowl of Raisin Bran on the table, “This is what adults eat.” “Fuck that nasty shit I’m not eating that. I don’t even fuck with healthy shit” Flare said with a disgusted look “Well too FUCKING BAD!.” Necromorph yelled then turning back to face the two mares and exhales deeply. Flare slowly took the bowl and started eating it. Octavia waited a few moments then asked, “Are you two dating or something? Cause it looks like you two are close.” “No. We’re just business partners who happen to live in a townhouse together.” Flare said with a mouth full of cereal. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Vinyl said “You’re about to kiss this dick with your mouth.” Flare said still chewing her food as she sat back in her chair. “ENOUGH! Just tell us the deal and we’ll get it done you guys already ruined my evening.” Octavia said with a scoff and crossing her legs and arms. “Tough luck princess do you know how much this all cost us? Hm?” Flare Flare said. “I don’t know and rather not care.” Octavia said with much sarcasm “It cost us more then you make in a year. No scratch that, it cost us more than what you make in two GOOD years.” Flare said nodding her head. “For what? A big cardboard outline of the interior and exterior of the restaurant?” Octavia said trying to sound like a smarty pants. “The artist wanted a 30% cut upfront then the rest of the payment when he was done.” Flare said with a straight face. “Woop Dee-Do.” Octavia said as she rolled her eyes “Just tell them the deal Flare. I have a dinner date with my girlfriend tomorrow night.” Necromorph said as he placed his face in a boring state “No you don’t.” Flare Flare said sitting back in her chair again finishing off her cereal and throwing it in the trash bin sulking her head. “What do you have against the Riche family Flare? Revenge? Annihilation? Or have you stooped down so low in the world you just want everyone GONE?!” Octavia said panting short of breath. Flare sat there and then picked her head up, “Mr.Riche hired one of his assassins to assassinate one of my closest mare friends but he failed and ever since I’ve been hunting down the rat bastard so yea I guess you can say it’s FUCKING REVENGE!” Flare said slamming her fist down on the table. “If I ever meet him, I’m taking his eyes as souvenirs.” “Wait why did you say that?” Flare said looking at Necromorph with a confused look “I care for you Flare.” Necromorph said reaching his skeletal claw towards Flare Flare’s shoulder Flare Flare quickly brushed his claw away from her, “Don’t you dare touch me you Bit--” Flare started but her mouth was covered before she could say anything else “Say it. I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker. Say it!” Necromorph yelled in a Samuel L. Jackson tone. The room got quiet as Flare took Necromorphs claw away from her mouth and then Necromorph lost his shit and began to yell, and in that moment, they all knew they had fucked up royally. Come on it’s like digging straight down or up in minecraft. It only ends badly. “OK THAT’S IT EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! God do I have to do everything myself? Look we want you to steal the Rich’s crown jewels, this will make their social standing fall. If that happens, then they will become poor. So not only will we kill him, but we’ll take what he cares for most-” “His daughter?” Flare said “NO! Money!” Necromorph said “Awwwww but I call I one night stand with her.” Flare said Necromorph facepalmed, “No Flare! She’s-look you're like 3000 years old, and this girl is like 25. And besides he doesn’t care for her.” “B-But” “No Buts Flare. It’s either we do that or we don’t do it at all.” Necromorph said in a stern tone. “Okay fine let’s do this. What’s the plan though?” Flare asked. “Oh just leave that to me.” Necromorph said as the Mission Impossible theme started to play.
Chapter 8Chapter 8 At the Riche Mansion, there were many ponies about and enjoying the party. Filthy Rich was walking around as he walked up on his daughter, Diamond Tiara, who was wearing her fancy pink and blue dress that she had got for her sweet sixteen. “Oh, hey dad. Have you fucked mom yet?” Diamond Tiara said, rolling her eyes. “Oh come now, that is what people do when they love each other.” Filthy Rich said “So why did you marry her?” Diamond Tiara said raising an eyebrow “Income tax” Filthy Rich said “No, why did you really marry her?” Diamond Tiara said with a straight face “She can shoot fire from her hands, and I just think-” Filthy Rich started “Nevermind” Diamond Tiara said as she facepalmed “Oh come cheer up my little Dia. Ever since we bought the necklace, most of the fancy women have gotten jealous of me having it.” Filthy Rich said like any show-off would. “That’s because they don’t know how you actually got it.” Diamond Tiara said with a sigh and another eye roll. “And you better keep it all quiet if you know what’s best for you.” Filthy Rich said in a stern voice. Outside the mansion, a limo pulled up and Silver Spoon got out with her parents and then a few Lamborghinis pulled up behind the limo as Silver Spoon got out and looked at them. Flare Flare got out of one of them and exhaled as Necromorph got out of the second one as he straighten his tie. “Flare Flare? Is that you?” Silver Spoon said with a confused look Flare Flare looked over to her left and saw Silver Spoon, “Silvy. What brings you here besides the sight of Diamond?” Flare asked “Parents always drag me here. I don’t mind it.” Silver Spoon said walking to Flare Flare. “Well I don’t want to keep you waiting on Dia. Don’t wait up.” Flare said walking past Silver Spoon and up the stairs into the mansion. Silver Spoon watched and sulk her head as Necromorph went up to her and put a hand on her shoulder, “Trust me she’s always like that. You have to make a move on her first for her to not do that.” He said as he patted her shoulder and walked away as Silver Spoon sighed deeply. Necromorph and Flare entered the mansion and Necromorph adjusted his tie as she spoke into his hidden mic, “Testing testing.” “Loud and clear.” Lyra said “Over and out.” Bon Bon said “I can hear you.” Octavia said “Wub wub wub.” Vinyl said “Deez nutz.” Flare Flare said. Necromorph walked through the crowd with Flare Flare behind him. Flare Flare was then pulled away from Necromorph to the side by Diamond Tiara. She was wearing her fancy dress that she had gotten a little while back on her nineteenth birthday. She was wearing her tiara that she had been wearing as a little kid. She brought Flare Flare into a hug, “So glad you could make it Flare.” She said Flare smiled and hugged Diamond Tiara back, “Glad that you’re out of your room Dia.” Diamond Tiara scoffed then chuckled, “Always with the jokes Flare.” She said. “Well you know me...Always a class clown.” Flare Flare said as she broke the hug. Diamond Tiara smiled as she combed her hair behind her ear and smiled, “I’m guessing already you're here on your own terms because I know you didn’t get invited.” “How did you...” Flare said “I’m not stupid Flarely dear. I read your file last night and I now know your work with the P.I.A and if I’m gonna guess correct your here to kidnap me.” Diamond Tiara said crossing her arms “Sorta.” Flare said Diamond Tiara thought for a second then said, “Tell you what Flare...You tell me your plan and I’ll help you because my step father is a real asshole and pays no attention to me anyways. I’ll give you something even more special.” Diamond Tiara said as she ran her fingers up Flare Flare’s arm up to her cheek. Flare Flare blushed dark red as Diamond Tiara grabbed Flare Flare’s hand and walked with her to a hallway around the corner and quickly pulled Flare Flare and into a deep warm passionate kiss. (Insert MLG Air horns here) Flare Flare kissed Diamond Tiara back as Diamond Tiara pulled Flare Flare close to her. After a few warm passionate moments, Diamond Tiara broke the kiss and said looking at Flare Flare in the eyes, “I’m sorry I just really needed to get that out of the way.” “It’s fine I really needed that too.” Flare Flare said panting as she licked her lips and looked around making sure no one was watching. “Now why are you here?” Diamond Tiara asked. “You know the secret elevator that leads down to the tunnel that is under the main staircase?” Flare asked panting a little from short of breath “Yeah. What about it?” Diamond Tiara asked “We’re stealing that new necklace that he has so he loses reputation.” Flare said “You can’t do that. That’s beyond the P.I.A work.” Diamond Tiara said “Your father tried to kill an old mare friend of mine so, I want to bring his reputation so low Dia you don’t want to know...By embarrassing him in front of his friends.” Flare Flare said with a anger in her eyes. “Then you must know something besides me having a crush on you for a long time now.” Diamond Tiara said “What is it?” Flare asked “My father stole the jewels from the castle. He hired goons to take it and make it look like someone else did it.” Diamond Tiara said with stress in her voice “Clever but I’m taking it back and bringing it back to the rightful owners.” Flare said looking around the corner and then back to Diamond Tiara “What do you need me to do?” Diamond Tiara asked “When I come back I’m taking you and Silver with me.” Flare said looking around the corner again “Flare?” Diamond Tiara asked almost choking on the word “Yeah?” Flare said looking at Diamond Tiara in the eyes Diamond Tiara brought Flare into one more quick kiss then broke it, “Good luck the tunnel is guarded by the elite troops you’ll need to get past them. I’ll go to Silver and stick with her.” Diamond Tiara went around the corner and left and Flare exhaled and licked her lips as she went around the corner too and made her way to Necromorph. Necromorph had been standing near the secret entrance dressed as one of the guards as a guard tried to grab Necromorph and Flare stabbed the guard in the shoulder before Necromorph could react as he turned around, “What held you up?” Necromorph asked in shock “Smooch time with the daughter. She came onto me.” Flare said. “Godammit. Okay...head in the kitchen with me the other agents are waiting.” Necromorph said as he covered Flare as she dragged the guard into the kitchen as she laid him down and panted, “Damn he’s heavy.” Flare said as she started strip of his clothes and started to explain the plan to the other agents. “So what did Diamond tell you?” Necromorph asked “Filthy stole the jewels from the castle and I have that on audio and he blamed someone else for it to make it look like a cover-up.” Flare said “I knew something wasn’t right here.” Octavia said “I know me too.” Bon Bon said “And if Filthy gets clean away from this he’ll be able to make detectives turn a blind eye. “What’s the plan?” Lyra asked. “I say we we continue as planned and get away with this quick and clean so we can get this over.” Octavia said “Oh cheer up Octi. This is fun being driven in a limo and they get do be in lamborghinis.” Vinyl said “I actually stole the Lamborghinis from a friend of mine. I’ll just tell him I ‘borrowed’ them.” Flare said tying her boot then standing up. “So what’s the plan? We’re really between a rock and hard place right now. “BOW CHICKA BOW WOW” said Necromorph “And with no weapons.” Octavia said. “I didn’t say you guys would be doing any of the shooting me and Necromorph are going to go down there and I need you guys to stay up here to ward off suspicion. The secret entrance is by the main staircase I want you guys to guard that area and don’t get sidetracked. We’re on a mission folks. As for the shooting…” “You leave that to me” said Necromorph with hunger in his voice. “Why do you keep him around?” said Vinyl Flare looked at a guard and then looked at Necromorph, “Hey Necromorph isn’t that the guy who called your tiny pink hat I gave you stupid?” Flare said To this Necromorph only gave an angry, yet hungry growl “I thought so. Sick ‘em” Flare said Necromorph then proceeded to tear the guards spines out and eat their souls “That’s why.” Flare said. “Okay then.” Vinyl said. “So are we are all clear on our objectives?” Flare said. “Yep.” Octavia said “Over and out.” Lyra said “Can I change my code name to Carlos spicy wiener?” Necromorph asked. “SHUT UP NECROMORPH” She yelled “Sorry didn’t copy that” Necromorph said Flare sighed, “Please shut up Carlos Spicy Wiener.” “Oh that’s better I can hear you now. Anyway copy that” “Roger Roger?” Vinyl said
Chapter 9Chapter 9 The other ponies began to continue to keep their cool as Necromorph and Flare made their way down the secret elevator that was playing the imperial march by John Williams in a funky tune, “I like this.” Flare said looking up at Necromorph. “Me too. It’s the kind of thing I could lead an army to.” Necromorph said nodding his head to the tune. When the elevator reached the bottom the doors open and there were two guards that turned around as Flare approached the guards with Necromorph in handcuffs. “Where are you taking this ‘thing’?” The guard asked. “The vault.” Flare said. “Wait hold on Flare I got this.” Necromorph said as he approached the guard. “Did you just call me a… oh what was it… oh a thing?” “Uhh yes… I don’t what to call you.” The guard said “He is a creature I give him that.” Flare said. “Flare Flare please the men are talking.” Necromorph said “Okay just saying man.” Flare Flare said with a shrug Flare took a sniff in the air, “Are those fresh baked cookies?” “Why yes would you like some?” The guard said taking out a fresh batch cookies right before Flare shot both guards as the fresh batch batch of cookies landing perfect on the desk. “Boring conversation anyway.” Flare said as they got set up to find the code for the vault Then all of the sudden, Filthy Rich’s voice came over the intercom, “Everything alright there? I heard shooting.” Flare pressed the button on the intercom, “Uhh...Everything is fine just testing a gun down here cause it’s boring down but the situation is perfectly normal. Your daughter was totally not laid last night.” “You know…..Now that you say that...Should I get her tested?’ Filthy RIch asked. “Well my personal opinion would be no as my own input but if you want that’s totally up to you.” Flare said. “And since we’re on that topic do you think I should get tested too?” Filthy Rich said. Flare looked up at Necromorph who was whistling innocently, “Will you go to the vault? I got this covered.” “Are you kidding me? I’m not a hacker.” Flare Flare took out a ball of yarn and tossed it up and down in her hand as Necromorphs eyes followed the ball of yarn “Want the ball of yarn?” Flare said Necromorph nodded his head Flare threw the ball of yarn down towards the vault as Necromorph chased after it, “Come back here ball of yarn I will kill your mother.” Flare turned off the intercom as she took her earpiece and put in her ear buds and started to typing random keys on the keyboard at a fast rate as she listened to Prayer of The Refugee by Rise Against. After a few moments of typing fast the security went down as Flare Flare took out her earbuds and put her earpiece back in, “I’m in. Vault door opening. Rejoining Necromorph.” “You better hurry Flare, guards on their way to you now.” Octavia said. “Fucking Celestia christ, do I ever have an easy job?” Flare mumbled sighing thinking of a quick plan. When the guards came down the elevator, Flare was tied on the floor dressed as one of them as they untied her, “Are you okay miss?” The guard asked kneeling down to her. “Now I am.” Flare said as she grabbed her pistol and shot the a guard, and rolled out of the way as another shot her. She came at them like a hurricane and used one of the guards as a shield to protect against a guard firing out of sheer terror. Flare Flare grabbed a shotgun from her back and shot one in the balls, and then the other in the face. The remaining guard had a gun to Flares head, and before the guard could fire, their entire body shuddered, as an unseen force caused him to shoot himself in the face. When the last guard fell down Flare sighed as the elevator door opened again and Diamond walked out as Flare Flare reacted quickly pointing her gun at her then putting it down, “Celestia fuck Dia you scared the crap out of me. I told you to stay up there.” “Your making so much noise that reinforcements has been called to the mansion and besides I’m the only one know where it is. We gotta hurry my father will shortly notice where I went and come after me.” Diamond Tiara said walking past Flare as Flare stood there for a second as she said, “Hey Flare thanks for taking out all these goons. Sigh The things I do for love.” Flare said turning around and quickly grabbing a few cookies as she caught up to Diamond Tiara to the vault. Diamond Tiara walked inside with Flare Flare and Necromorph as Flare Flare scanned the room with her gun in her hands. The vault had stacks of gold bullion that went on for yards. Flare slowly lowered her gun slowly looking around the room, “Uh Dia?” “Yeah I know Flare. I see it too. But I don’t understand how he got all this gold.” Diamond Tiara said in a confused voice. “This is a shitload of gold.” Necromorph said “I know what this is.” Flare Flare said stopping her tracks, putting her gun in her holster as Diamond Tiara and Necromorph looked at Flare “This is all the royal treasure. Fuckin’ prick has been running treasury heists under his house.” “But how? How can my father do this?” Diamond Tiara said pacing around the room switching her attention between the room and Flare Flare. “I think he’s been doing this for years now. Fucking cold son of a bitch. We’ll need a helicopter to bring the jewels out. Come on.” Flare Flare said walking out of the vault followed by Necromorph and Diamond Tiara. Halfway down the hallway they were greeted by Filthy Rich and a platoon of his elite troops. Flare sighed deeply as Filthy Rich took a couple steps towards them, “Well well what do we have here?” “Filthy Rich I presume.” Flare said in a smartass tone. “Yes how did you guessed it?” Filthy Rich said with his arms wide open “Cause I kissed your daughter.” Flare said with sarcasm. Filthy Rich stopped and looked at Diamond Tiara, “Dia can I talk to you in the other room for a second.” They both went into a side office as Flare Flare and Necromorph heard only the sound of mumbling voices and the sound of a slap and Filthy Rich walked back out and Flare Flare and Necromorph were gone, “I told you guys to guard them.” Filthy Rich yelled. “No you didn’t sir.” One of the troops said. 20 seconds earlier “Hey can we borrow one of you guys uniform and blend in?” Flare Flare asked. The soldier shrugged his shoulder, “Sure why not at least he didn’t say guard you.” 20 seconds later “Where are they?!” Filthy Rich yelled. “They escaped sir.” The soldier said “How?” Filthy Rich said with a facepalm “Magic Sir.” The soldier said “Never mind that. Take my daughter back up and tell the guests the party is over.” Filthy Rich said with a sigh motioning his guards to go “Yes Sir. Come on Diamond.” The soldier said as Diamond went into the group of soldiers and right next to Flare Flare as they all turned around and took the elevator back up. Diamond Tiara looked at Flare Flare and a expression of surprised went on her face, “Oh your good Flarey. How did you get the uniform?” Diamond asked “Had to kill one of his guards. It was the guard that least wanted to work here and had no future.” Flare Flare said. “That makes you a cold blooded killer.” Diamond Tiara said with concern in her voice. “I didn’t kill him Necromorph did.” Flare said Necromorph licked his lips.
Chapter 10/4th Wall BreakChapter 10 The guards left the elevator as Flare Flare shot her blank pistol in the air, “Okay folks party over. OUT! NOW!” The men and women started to quickly leave as Flare Flare, Necromorph, Octavia, Lyra, Vinyl, Bon Bon, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left too. Halfway down the street Silver Spoon broke the ice, “Is anyone going to explain what the absolute hell is going on?!” They all stopped and got out of the way as Necromorph turned around to face Silver Spoon. “Shut your pretty mouth and hair and face and glasses the fuck up or I get to see what you taste like” said Necromorph with very little patience in his already agitated voice, but then he realized what he said and he blushed as much as a skeleton could. “Uhhm… I don’t… I can’t” stammered Silver Spoon “Oh never mind” said Necromorph as he stormed off and was about to tear a passer byers throat but he then realised Silver Spoon was watching. He hesitated then dropped the filly and ran off. The group saw the filly had a silver coat with a ingot on her flank. “Necromorph! Uh I’ll be back” Flare said as she bolted after him Yelling his name all the while. “OMG Silver Spoon are you two…” “NO DIA he’s a murderer, what with his cold eyes and strong shoulders and his confidence and his selflessness and his-” she said but was then interrupted by a look of shock from Diamond Tiara. “-l-l-lack of regard for human life” she stuttered, blushing all the while. “Well it doesn’t make it anymore less different than you and Flare Flare.” Silver Spoon said raising her voice “What do you mean?” Diamond Tiara said with a confused look “Oh PUHLEASE I see the way you two look at each other.” Silver Spoon said rolling her eyes “That’s irrelevant.” Diamond Tiara said trying to talk smack to Silver Spoon. “Really? I think it is very relevant. I haven’t seen you look at someone like that since you saw that boy in middle school. You know the one who kinda looked like that one guy from that movie twilight.” “This has nothing to do with me and Flare.” Diamond Tiara said “Oh so you are using first names now are you?” Silver Spoon spat back “I don’t see you calling Necromorph by his first name.” Diamond Tiara said raising her eyebrows. Meanwhile, Flare Flare and Necromorph were in an alleyway across the street yelling as they were whispering, “Are we really gonna discuss this now?! On a Top Secret Mission?!” Necromorph said. “Yes because we’ll be back for Filthy Rich in part 3: the search for more money.” Flare said “Look I do not like that...brat.” He said the last word without a straight face “Come on I know you want to cum in the money.” Flare said with sarcasm. It was at this moment, Flare knew in her soul that she fucked up. Like come on. It’s like not wearing a condom during sex. It’s fucked up. “Necromorph please I didn’t mean that. Don’t get angry.” she said trying to calm him down “I’M NOT ANGRY! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANGRY! DO I LOOK ANGRY TO YOU!” He whisper yelled, while having a look of unrelenting hatred and rage. You could actually see FIRE in his eyes “No I wouldn’t say angry, I would say along the lines of absolutely livid.” Flare said with a fancy accent. “Look I am Necromorph, master of death. To think that my best friend would even jokingly imply that I could fall for a simple pony is insulting. I should kill you for that. Luckily I made you immortal so I can’t. Even though she is smart and funny and sexy as hell and… ok yea I like her. But you don’t understand Flare I don’t just like her, I love her. I have viewed her from afar and protected her from death. Flare when I kill, my life is lengthened, but I used my power to save hers and now her life is much longer. And that makes me weaker” he said with fear in his eyes Flare’s jaw dropped. She went speechless for a few moments. Necromorph snapped his fingers at Flare’s face as she stood there blankly at him. “Flare you alright?” Necromorph said snapping his fingers Flare continuously to stare at Necromorph for a few more seconds then fainted. But what they didn’t know was that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara were right… around… THE CORNER duh dun duuuuuuuh CLIFFHANGER “Hello everyone I’m Flare Flare.” “And I’m Necromorph.” “I hope you all enjoyed this cliff hanger.” Necromorph singing. “I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP” Flare punched Necromorph in the face knocking him out of the director’s seat “NO! No! No! Bad! Bad Necromorph!” “Silivermoph for life yo.”
Chapter 7Chapter 7 The four agents sat in a room with a load of other agents that were from the Men in Black agency as Flare Flare and Necromorph walked into the room in the room in their suit as they went to the front of the room as Necromorph started to explain as Flare Flare placed a silver case on the front table, “Okay agents we are about to pull off the greatest heist known to man. Stealing Filthy Rich’s jewels. Now thanks to two agents who have been working undercover at the mansion have recovered blueprints of the underground tunnel leading up to the vault. It’s in total of 200 feet long once you take the elevator down to the entrance to the tunnel. The mansion consists of 4 floors and over 30 rooms so don’t get lost. Lyra and Bon Bon you’ll be driving Octavia, Vinyl, Flare and I to the front entrance where us three will pose as friends then I want you two to ditch the limo somewhere and meet us in the basement where Flare will hack the code and-” “BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HACK” Flare yelled “Oh just uhhhh rub your marehood on it or something I don’t know” Necromorph mumbled “Oh so you don’t know what I should do or how I should do it, but I better do it well?” Flare asked “Essentially” Necromorph said “FUCK YOU” Flare Flare yelled. “WHOA, I’m sensing a lot of negativity here, and I don’t appreciate it.” Necromorph said. “Well honestly how would you react if I asked you to give birth” Flare asked. “When was the last time you were fertile enough to give birth?” Necromorph said. “That’s fair” Flare said with a reasonable voice. “Yeah you two are definitely in love” Octavia said “YOU BASTARD-”Necromorph said, about to lounge, But Flare stopped him. “Good Necromorph, uhh no murdering everyone” Flare said petting him. “NEVER BE ALONE” he said with a gun in his hand. “Put the gun away. What did we talk about last therapy session?” Flare said. “Expressing my feelings calmly” Necromorph sighed and said “Good. Now what are you doing now?” Flare asked. “Well right now I feel like hitting the one with the cello in the GODDAMN MOUTH” Necromorph said semi-calmly “Now do you think that is a good idea?” Flare said in a calm manner. “Hell to the fuck yes” he said with no emotion at all Flare Flare sprayed Necromorph with a spray bottle full of water, “Bad Necromorph. Bad!” Necromorph hissed at Flare Flare Flare Flare put away the spray bottle as she began to speak, “The rest of you agents will be back-up if things go to shit. Is everyone ready to make history?” “AMEN.” All the agents said in unison as if they were hearing Flare Flare preach. “Okay let’s do this.” Flare Flare said
