We’d Call It a Makeup Party, but No Lipstick or Eyeliner Is Involved
In a rural town near the heartland of Equestria, a huge party was taking place, the likes of which its citizens had never seen. Ponies ate sandwiches while seated at tables made of sheet cake. Instead of an ordinary ball pit, fillies and colts were playing in an oatball pit, complete with cooked spaghetti. There was a roller coaster hayride with steep banks and a 360° vertical loop. A ten-piece folk band riding unicycles finished playing its set.
In succession, three elephants trumpeted at increasingly high pitches, each adding its note to the previous, forming a chord which served as a sort of fanfare. This was followed by the sound of an enormous cannon going off. From the crowd, ponies gasped in awe. Quickly followed by gasps of fear. Then a loud thud and the sound of wood snapping, followed by an ominous creaking.
“Look out!”
Inside a castle situated at the edge of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and their five best friends had all gathered for a potluck dinner. They had finished eating the appetizers – a salad from Fluttershy and soup made by Spike – and now they were getting ready for the main course.
“Can I have some more of that fizzy apple juice?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Sure thing.” Applejack refilled her glass. “But isn’t this your fourth cup already?”
“I can’t help myself – this stuff is amazing! How’d you get it so fizzy?”
“I just provided the juice,” Applejack replied. “It was Twilight who came up with the spell to make it fizzy. I’ve gotta say, it does give it a kick.”
“Only because your apples taste so good,” Twilight said. “I’m just glad my experiment was such a success. And speaking of success, this vegetable paella looks delicious, Rarity.”
Rarity smiled. “Why, thank you, Twilight. I do hope you all enjoy it. I so rarely get a chance to incorporate saffron into a dish, but I love the unique flavor it provides.”
“Just wait until you try my honey butter biscuits,” said Rainbow Dash, already finishing her fourth glass of juice. “I made sure that the perfect amount of honey went into each one.”
“Didn’t you just pick those up from Sugarcube Corner?” said Applejack.
“Well, yeah, but…”
“Ooh! Ooh!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “Since now we’re bragging about what we brought, I can’t wait for you all to try my quadruple-decker vanilla/fudge marble cake with strawberry cream cheese frosting and sliced almonds! I sliced every almond by hoof, and let me tell you, it—”
Abruptly, a startled look crossed Pinkie’s face while her entire body briefly vibrated. Without changing her expression, she then stood perfectly still, her knees and hocks locked. Her friends all looked at her quizzically.
After a moment, she spoke. “I have to go to Hitchita right now!”
Each of the other ponies looked at Pinkie’s flank, then at their own. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, their faces maintained their confused expressions.
Applejack was the first to ask. “Uh, Pinkie? Doesn’t the map usually tell us when we’ve got to leave for somewhere?”
“This isn’t the map – this is my Pinkie sense! And it says I need to get to Hitchita A.S.A.possible!”
Twilight Sparkle almost said something. But she had learned not to question how a brief vibration could instruct Pinkie not only to leave Ponyville, but also to which town to travel. Instead, she simply asked, “Do you need us to accompany you?”
“Nope! I’ll be back when I can you enjoy the cake bye-ee!” Pinkie was already out the door, a small puff of pink smoke quickly dissipating through the space where she had just been standing.
The others looked around, dumbfounded.
“Hey, Applejack…?” Rainbow Dash said, holding out her glass.
When the train pulled into the Hitchita train station early in the morning, Pinkie was the first to disembark. After only the slightest of pauses, she turned left and made her way up the street, not with her usual bouncing gait but at a quick, determined trot. Oblivious to the other ponies around her (and not even pausing to take in the aroma of a bakery’s fresh-baked doughnuts), she reached the first intersection and instinctively turned. She didn’t know where she was headed, but she knew she was going the right way.
Upon rounding the next corner, she saw her destination: Hitchita General Hospital. “Oh no!” she said to herself. “Somepony must need some serious cheering up!”
Pinkie made her way through the entrance. “Good morning,” said the receptionist. “Who are you here to see?”
“I don’t know,” Pinkie responded, not breaking her stride. “But they’re up on the second floor!”
Before the receptionist could object, Pinkie was in the stairwell and on her way up. She walked through the doorway to the second floor and made her way down the hall, passing the doors to patients’ rooms.
“Nope! Nope! Nope!” she said as she passed each door. As she approached the fourth door, her tail began to rotate in a clockwise direction. “This is the one!”
She pushed down on the handle of the door, knowing that for whatever reason she came to this town, the pony who needed her help was on the other side. With a flourish, she opened the door and took a step into the room. “I’m here to brighten your day! Put a smile on your face and say… Cheese?”
“Pinkie?” There, reclining on a hospital bed, his front hooves tightly bandaged and in traction, was Cheese Sandwich. “What are you doing here?”
“My Pinkie sense told me to come here as fast as I could,” Pinkie said, just as confused as Cheese Sandwich. “I thought it meant there was some super-sad pony who needed me to cheer them up. I didn’t expect to find somepony I knew!” Suddenly, it struck her. “Ohmygosh! It’s not you, is it? Are you feeling okay?”
“I feel great!” he replied, gesturing with his rear legs since he couldn’t move the front two. “I mean, I’ll feel better once they let me get back on my hooves, but other than that, I’m as peppy as provolone!”
Pinkie responded with a contemplative look, not focusing on anything in particular. She waited a moment, but nothing happened. “Well, my Pinkie sense says that I’m in the right place. Whatever I’m doing here, it’s to see you.” As if she had only just then comprehended Cheese’s situation, she reacted to his bandages. “What happened to your hooves?”
“Oh, I just got a little hurt during the last party I planned. You know how it goes.”
“Not really,” Pinkie said dubiously. “The worst thing that ever happened to me was one time when I was playing pin the tail on the pony and I accidentally walked into the cake. I’ve never had a party send me – or anypony – to the hospital. Now come on – tell me what happened.”
“It isn’t a big deal,” Cheese said. “Everything was going great – the crowd was in a frenzy after my super extended accordion rendition of ‘Turkey in the Straw.’ The whipped cream geyser was going off every five minutes. And on top of it all, I had my cheese supreme cannon rigged to shoot stalks of wheat over the entire party, just like confetti. But when the cannon went off, all of the wheat got stuck together in one big ball. Boom! Like a cannonball, it flew through the air, over the bungee jumping tower, and smashed into one of the beams supporting my enormous fondue pot. The pot was about to fall over and land on somepony, but fortunately, I was able to push them out of the way at the last second. But because I leaped forward and stretched out my hooves to do it…” he motioned with his head toward the bandages.
“Oh, you poor thing!” Pinkie said, grabbing his left front hoof.
“Ow!”
“Whoops – sorry. Was anypony else hurt?”
“A couple folks got melted gruyère in their manes, but no injuries. And then everyone pretty much went home. Like I said, no big deal.”
“No big deal? If one of my parties ended like that, I’d feel horrible! I mean… I’m not trying to make you feel bad! But… are you sure you’re okay?”
Cheese Sandwich did not meet her gaze. “Sure I’m sure.”
Pinkie looked around. “Cheese, come on – this is just between us.” She went to hold his bandaged hoof again, but caught herself in time. Instead, she took his left rear hoof. “We’re both super party ponies, and I know for a fact that neither one of us would be all right with a party not being completed like that. Please – be honest with me.”
Cheese sighed. “Okay, maybe I’m a little unhappy that one of my parties… failed,” he admitted. “I just wish I could make it up— hey!” A flash of inspiration crossed his face. “You and I threw an amazing party together that one time! Would you help me plan the most ultra stupendous terrifi-fantastic do-over party ever?”
Pinkie didn’t hesitate. “Of course I will!” No wonder she was needed in Hitchita!
“Great! It’s for a young mare who lives on a farm nearby – her name is Amber Wheat. She just finished school, and the two of us are going to give her the biggest, amazingest, spectacularest graduation party she’s ever seen!”
Pinkie squealed with excitement. “I can’t wait!”
“All right! So when everypony arrived at the first party, they entered through a long archway filled with cowbells and triangles – all ringing thanks to a giant fan. Once they got to the other side, they each received a noisemaker lei and four balloons shaped like pretzels. The line for the giant churro flume ride was on the right and the whoopee cushion bouncy castle was on the left. Or they could walk straight ahead through the rotating tunnel lit by disco balls at either end—”
Pinkie finally cut him off. “That all sounds super exciting! But what about Amber Wheat?”
“What about her?”
“Well, what’s she going to do now that she’s graduated?”
“I don’t know,” Cheese said matter-of-factly.
“What were her favorite classes in school?”
“Um…”
“Do you know what any of her hobbies are?”
“No…” Cheese answered, not sure where this line of questioning was going.
Shock registered on Pinkie’s face. “If you don’t know anything about her, how are you going to become her friend?”
“Become her friend? Why would that happen? I’ve never become friends with any of the ponies I planned parties for.”
Pinkie’s shocked expression grew larger. “You’ve never…?” But she was at a loss for words.
“No,” Cheese said frankly. “My cheesy sense tells me to head to a town, I find out which pony needs a party and why, and then I plan it. Like when I visited Ponyville. Because it was a birthiversary party, I knew it had to be extra exciting. And the pony had that cool lightning bolt for a cutie mark. What was her name? Rainbow…” he struggled to remember the rest.
The shocked reaction now reached every corner of Pinkie’s face. “Dash? Rainbow Dash? You… you don’t remember the name of one of my bestest friends?”
“One of your…?” Cheese Sandwich managed to look both surprised and chagrined. “Oh my… I thought she had just hired you to… I didn’t realize that you were…” He gave up on trying to finish any of his sentences.
Pinkie exhaled, her face returning to normal. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I just can’t believe you’ve been planning parties for years, but you haven’t made any friends.”
“Hey!” Cheese objected. “Boneless 2 is my friend!” He looked at the floor beside him, where a miniature hospital bed was set up. The rubber chicken lay inside, its head bandaged and a cast on one of its legs.
“I mean pony friends,” Pinkie said. “Well, that stops now! And I’m going to help! When do you get out of here?”
Cheese tried to shrug. “The doctor hasn’t said yet. I could be in here for weeks!”
The next day, Cheese Sandwich was released from the hospital. His front hooves were now in casts but he had been given crutches to walk on. He took Pinkie to a farm just outside of town and introduced her to Amber Wheat, an earth pony with a gold-colored mane and muted sepia coat. She was with her parents, Summer Harvest and Bumper Crop.
“Hello!” Pinkie said, giving Amber a hug. “Cheese Sandwich tells me that you just finished school!”
“Uh, yep, that’s right,” Amber said while pulling out of the hug. “I graduated last week.”
“Congratulations! So, what are you going to do now?”
“I signed up for an apprenticeship at an agricultural science laboratory.”
Pinkie looked at her expectantly.
“In Maresachusetts.”
Pinkie continued to stare.
“At… the Maresachusetts Research Institute.”
Pinkie nodded. Amber looked around.
“It starts next week.”
Pinkie finally spoke. “Doing what?”
“Oh. They’re studying the nutritive properties of grasses grown in different parts of Equestria. Which species provide the most protein, things like that. Even whether the same species of grass, grown in different regions, will produce different amounts of nutrients based on the soil or climate.”
“Wow! That sounds super-duper exciting! I bet you can’t wait to head east and start working on that!”
“Well, sure, I’m excited,” Amber said, looking at the ground. “Although this’ll be the first time I’ve been that far away…”
Summer Harvest spoke up. “We’re just so proud of our daughter. So when Mr. Sandwich showed up in town a couple of days ago, we knew this would be the perfect opportunity to give Amber a proper going-away party as she starts this exciting new career!”
“Mom… it’s just an apprenticeship. It isn’t a career.”
“Don’t be so modest,” Bumper Crop said. “They wouldn’t have picked you if you didn’t have the smarts and the ambition that they’re looking for. They’d be crazy if they didn’t give you a job.”
Amber turned her head and blushed.
“I think I’ve got a good idea of what this do-over party needs,” Pinkie said. “Do you mind if Cheese Sandwich and I talk things over for a couple of minutes?”
“Take all the time you need,” Bumper Crop said. “We’ve got to get going on the chores for today. We’ll be out in the fields if you need us.”
The family left. Pinkie turned toward Cheese.
“Wow, you’re good,” Cheese said. “I get it now – the party should be more about what she likes to do! This gives me so many ideas! She’s going to be working in a lab – let’s bring in a giant centrifuge ride! Ponies will be spun around so fast, they’ll be pressed flat against the walls!”
“Well…”
“And we can have a giant beaker-shaped swimming pool filled with bubbling, foaming green liquid! Ooh! With a waterslide shaped like one of those curly glass tubes!”
“Cheese.” Pinkie placed her hoof over his mouth. “A party can’t just reflect what the guest of honor does. It has to be about who they are.”
“But that’s what I’m doing,” Cheese said. “She lives on a farm and she likes science. That’s who she is. Do you want to emphasize the farm crops more? Oh! Instead of churros in the flume ride, should it be loaves of cornbread?”
“I’m talking about her personality,” Pinkie said. “Did you notice how she wasn’t very outgoing until she stopped talking about herself and started talking about grass? Cheese, you come up with the most amazing party attractions that I’ve ever seen, but I don’t think they fit a reserved pony like Amber Wheat.”
“So… just white bread in the flume ride?”
“Why don’t you go talk to her,” Pinkie said. “Don’t think about what you can do. Think about what she would enjoy.”
Cheese Sandwich found Amber Wheat out in the corn field, inspecting the stalks. He opened his mouth, then realized that he wasn’t sure what to say. Usually in this type of situation, he could introduce himself as a premiere party planner and let the conversation go from there. But Amber already knew who he was and why he was in town. He decided to go with, “Hello again.”
“Oh, hello,” Amber said. She bent a stalk down toward her and examined the topmost ear of corn. “Did you need something else from me?”
Cheese paused. When Pinkie told him to go talk to her, it sounded easy enough. But it only now occurred to him that Pinkie hadn’t given him any hints as to what he should discuss.
Think about what she would enjoy. Well, there was one easy way to find that out.
“What would you enjoy at your do-over party?” he asked.
“Hm? Oh, you know, whatever,” she replied. “Whatever you think is best.”
“Well, what did you like at the first party? I mean, before the fondue pot fell over.”
“You had all sorts of fun things the first time around. I wouldn’t be able to pick and choose.”
Cheese frowned. This isn’t working at all. He then realized he was scowling and tried to return to a neutral expression. But Amber hadn’t noticed – she was focused on feeling the end of the ear of corn.
He tried again. “So, Maresachusetts, huh? You know, I threw a party there about four years ago. A silver anniversary. Of course, we couldn’t afford real silver for the decorations, so I lined everything in aluminum foil.”
Amber felt the corn’s silk in her hoof. “Mm-hmm.”
“We all ate baked potatoes. Because of the… aluminum…” Cheese tried to scratch the back of his mane. It was difficult to do with the cast and crutch attached to his leg.
Okay, one more try, he thought. Pinkie expected him to become Amber’s friend. But how was he supposed to do that? He decided to try to find out with a subtler approach.
“Do you have any friends?” He realized what it sounded like he was implying. “I mean, when I’m traveling from town to town, Boneless 2 keeps me company.” He gestured toward the rubber chicken on his back, now with its wing in a sling. “Who are some of your friends?”
“Well, um…” Amber let go of the corn. “I’ve kind of spent most of my time here on the farm. After my schoolwork was done, I’d come out here and study the crops, trying to figure out how to get them to grow bigger, faster, and more reliably. Take this corn, for example. Would you believe that we only planted it seven weeks ago? But look at it now – it’ll be ready for harvest in just a few more days. I’ve gotten even more impressive results out in the wheat fields.”
“But aren’t there any other ponies you go and have fun with?”
“Not really. There are a couple of fillies in my class who live on nearby farms. But I’ve been busy tending to my family’s crops, and they’ve been busy with theirs. I hear that Barleycorn developed a combination threshing floor and butter churning apparatus. But I wouldn’t know for sure – we’ve never hung out or anything.”
“‘Hung out…’” Cheese repeated. “You know, that’s something I guess we have in common. I’ve met all sorts of ponies as I’ve traveled Equestria, and we’ve had some great parties. But I can’t think of any time when I’ve just hung out with somepony.”
“But that’s not what a party is for, right?” Amber asked. “It’s supposed to be about rides and games and exciting stuff like that.”
“You bet! That’s what you get when Cheese Sandwich comes to town – a party so huge, you barely have time to do everything!” Suddenly, Cheese stopped talking. He wasn’t completely sure, but he thought he had an epiphany. “Well, I’ve got to go plan your new party. I hope you like it!” He turned and began to leave. He wanted to gallop off, but the crutches reduced his speed.
“I’m sure it’ll be spectacular,” Amber said softly. She went back to inspecting the corn.
On the other side of the farm, Pinkie Pie was playing checkers against a scarecrow.
“Three jumps in a row?!” she said incredulously. “How did you…!” She let out a noise halfway between a growl and moan, then grudgingly kinged one of the pieces.
Cheese approached her as quickly as he could. He found that he was getting better results if, instead of moving his legs like he normally would, he moved his front legs in tandem, then used the momentum to bring both of his back legs forward. It was not dissimilar to the motion of a running rabbit.
“Pinkie! I figured out what Amber’s party needs!”
Pinkie turned to face him. Suddenly, she spun back around and looked at the scarecrow. “Don’t you dare think about cheating again!” She turned back to Cheese. “And what is that?”
“So I was talking to Amber about her friends. Or actually, about how she doesn’t have any close friends. And if you’re worried about me not having any friends, then you’d be worried about her not having any friends. But there are other fillies her age nearby who could become her friends. They were probably even at the party last time. But there was so much stuff to do, she never got the chance to talk to them. So this time, we just need to give them the chance to hang out together and become friends!” He inhaled loudly.
Pinkie beamed. “Cheese! That’s great!”
The smile dropped from Cheese’s face. “Oh no… what do you do at a party where ponies are just hanging out? That means I can’t have any confetti cannons or howler monkeys or snare drum competitions.”
“There are lots of different types of parties,” Pinkie said. “And you’re a fantastic party planner – I know that they all come naturally to you. You’ve just been focusing too much on the shindigs and wingdings.”
“Not to mention the six different types of paloozas.”
“Exactly! But there are still plenty of things you can do without going completely over-the-top. And we’ll figure out which ones will be best for Amber. Together, we’re going to help her make those friends!”
“Thanks,” said Cheese. “You know, it’s the strangest thing. These other fillies come from farms, just like Amber. And they’re all Amber’s age. And they’re all really focused on their crops. It’s weird that ponies who have so much in common with one another haven’t already become close friends.”
“That is weird.” Pinkie looked at Cheese Sandwich for a moment. “Well, let’s plan this party!”
Amber Wheat’s do-over party was a decidedly more subdued affair. Instead of adding a full-scale centrifuge ride, a Whirl-N-Tilt was modified to resemble gently spinning test tubes. Instead of a churro flume ride, there were doughnut inner tubes floating on a mocha lazy river. And instead of a giant pool filled with foaming green liquid, there was an ordinary hot tub filled with bubbling, soothing water. It was there that Amber Wheat and two nearby farmfillies from her class relaxed and chatted.
“I can’t believe you got an apprenticeship in Maresachusetts,” Barleycorn said. “I’m going to the University of Connecticolt to study agriculture!”
“And I’m moving to Roan Island because my cousin needs some extra help with the orchard,” said Pristine Spring. “We’ll all still be in the same area! We have to keep in touch!”
“Absolutely!” said Amber. “You don’t know how relieved I am to know that there will be some Hitchita folks I can talk to out east. I thought I was going to be all alone!”
“Me too!”
The three continued to discuss their plans for the future. A little way away, under a tree at the top of a small hill, Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich sat and looked over the party.
“This is an amazing party, Cheese Sandwich,” Pinkie said.
“It’s so quiet compared to all of my others.”
“But it’s perfect for Amber Wheat. Not everypony likes the most extreme extravaganzas. With a party like this, she’s relaxed and having a great time – no circus performers or pyrotechnics necessary.”
“Thanks for helping me, Pinkie. I just wish I had figured out what she needed as quickly as you did.”
“That’s the thing – I didn’t! I only knew that she needed a calmer party. You’re the one who figured out that this was the perfect opportunity to help her make new friends. If I had come to town and planned this party, Amber would have had one happy night. But you’ve helped her make friendships that’ll bring her joy for the rest of her life!”
Amber’s parents walked up.
“I can’t thank you two enough for all that you’ve done,” Summer Harvest said. “I’ve never seen Amber so outgoing!”
“If you’re ever back in town, be sure to look us up,” said Bumper Crop. “We’ll give you the most delicious home-cooked meal you’ve ever had.”
Cheese Sandwich got up. “Aw, come on over here!” He proceeded to give each of them a hug. Or more accurately, he pressed his hooves against each of their shoulders, as he was still wearing his casts.
Amber Wheat approached the group. As her parents turned their attention toward Pinkie, Cheese turned his attention toward her.
“Thank you so much, Mr. Sandwich.”
“Please – call me Cheese.”
“Thank you so much, Cheese. This was the best party I could ever imagine having!”
“You’re welcome, Amber. Good luck at the lab. When you make a big breakthrough scientific discovery, I’ll be there to plan the party.”
Amber gave him a hug. “I’m glad you finally got a chance to hang out, just like I did.”
Cheese raised a confused eyebrow in her direction. Amber subtly tilted her head toward Pinkie Pie, who was simultaneously hugging Summer Harvest while shaking Bumper Crop’s hoof. The dumbfounded look on Cheese’s face revealed that he hadn’t even realized that’s what he had been doing.
He quickly regained his composure. “Well… it’s time for me to move along to the next town.” He produced his western hat and poncho and put them on. “You all get back there and enjoy the rest of your party.”
Amber joined her parents and they all trotted off. Amber’s new friends began waving to get her attention.
Pinkie put Boneless 2 on Cheese’s back. “Has your cheesy sense already told you where you’re headed next?”
“Yep. Withersburg.”
“Are you okay to walk that far?”
“Of course. A pair of crutches aren’t going to stop me when there’s a party that needs my help.”
“Then have a safe trip! Oh, and I’m so proud of the way you made friends with Amber and her family. I knew you had it in you!”
Cheese stood still. After a moment, he took off his hat and dropped the emotionless façade. A wry smile crossed his lips. “Of course, now that I know what it’s like to make friends, it’s just going to make the travel time between towns that much lonelier.”
Pinkie placed her hoof on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine.” She looked directly into his eyes. “And if you ever feel like you’re alone, remember: You’ll always have a friend in Ponyville.”
The two stayed that way for an awkward few seconds, neither breaking eye contact. Then, abruptly and at nearly the same time, they drew away from one another, simultaneously making excuses.
“Well, I should be on my way to Withersburg…” “I’ve got some baking to do…”
With that, they each went their separate ways. Pinkie walked back to the train station, unable to get that moment out of her head. By this point, it was second nature for her to make friends. But for some reason, she was especially happy (yet also a little confused) about this one.
