Forty Minute Fantasies

Ponies talk.

I don't mean they gab, or they gossip (although just between the two of us, both of those are true as well).  I just mean they talk.  It's what they do.

Okay, let's see if I can put it in perspective.  You know the Diamond Dogs, right?  Mangy things, live underground?  Diamond Dogs dig.  It's the same thing.

Or how about the Griffons?  You know, cat on the wing?  Oh-so-irritatingly-noble code of martial valor and all the nonsense that goes with that?  Griffons fight the same way Ponies talk.

Oh, for... do I have to spell it out?  I. T. Apostrophe. S. Space. T. H... you know what, forget that.  It's what they do, their go-to response for, well, everything.

Rabbits got into your garden?  Go talk to them, presumably through the yellow one.

Angry neighbors coming for you with pitchforks?  Either talk to them, or talk to the guards and have the guards talk to them.

Twisted monstrosity from beyond the edge of time and space?  Try to talk it down.  Only bother to take further steps if-slash-when that fails.

(Please note that this is about ponies in general; specific ponies sometimes rise above the urge to jaw at problems, although they often resort to other, equally predictable, equally boring, methods.  Rainbow Dash, for example, needs to realize that Punch It In The Jaw is eventually going to fail her.)

So yes, Ponies talk.  Of course, I can't really blame them for that little character failure.  It's all part and parcel of being trapped under Harmony's banner, same as having to manually run the environment.  Live for a while in Harmony's trap, with everyone else marching along to her tinny little tune - it'd be enough to break anybody. I mean, even Celestia - when I remember her better days, and think about what she's been turned into... A quote-princess-unquote, a urgh... diplomat...

And nobody's immune.  Even that little echo of myself I left down there, a gift to help lighten up their lives and make everything more exciting - they've even broken him to Harmony's traces.  Almost managed to snag me, even, before I managed to cut the bond between the two of us.

Oh, you've finally figured it out, I see.  Very good.  Yes, I'm him, or rather, he's a part of me.  Discord, the real, primal one, at your... not service, but I'm not sure what else goes right there.

And one more thing.  Remember how I said Ponies talk?

Well, I act.

They won't know what hit them.