Sgt. Equine

by hazelstiltskin

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 7570

The A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon has found themselves warped to Equestria after an accident.

(Rated T for minor language)
(Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunsou x MLP: FiM Crossover)
Our favorite alien space frog Keroro has created yet another plan to take over Pekopon, a.k.a. Earth. But quickly something goes wrong, and the entire A.R.M.P.I.T. (Yes, it is an unfortunate acronym, isn't it?) Platoon finds themselves warped to a new land, filled with... Colorful marsh mellow ponies who can talk?

Except there is one problem... The Platoon turned into ponies as well!

Published 2012-06-19 05:24:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-28 08:04:31 UTC

Chapter 1- The Plan

“Why are we here again so soon?” The Corporal growled, peering around the meeting room angrily. "I have things to do!"

What, like clean your weapons? Nice try, tough guy.

“Yeah, Momoka was going to take me to the candy factory in her basement… And then the WcDonalds in her backyard,” Tamama added, fidgeting in his seat.

Keroro let out a gasp, lifting a floppy packet labeled ‘Invasion Plan’ in big, choppy letters. “What, chocolate and weapons are more important than invading Pekopon?!”

For a moment, there was no reply. The Sergeant Major decided to split the silence with a laugh.

“Kuukuku, so it seems you’ve actually thought of a plan this time?” Kululu chuckled, fidgeting with his KuPod. “That’s pretty rare. Enlighten us, then.”

Keroro's brows knit angrily. He then beheld his packet above his head in both hands as if it were worthy of glorification. “Very well, Sergeant Major! Enlighten you I shall!" The Keronian slammed the packet onto the stand in front of him, leaning over it with mirth. "You see, Pekopon runs on this mysterious thing called ‘horse power’. Apparently it is used in their vehicles and other machines. If we could harness this ‘horse power’ for our own use, then we could create the ultimate weapon that would make invasion as easy as putting together a Gundam model! Gero gero gero!”

“Technically, that still isn’t an invasion plan,” Giroro muttered, deprecation flashing in his gaze.

“Well, so long the weapon doesn't hurt innocent Pekoponians...” Dororo's insert was drowned out as Keroro sharply spat a comeback towards Giroro.

“Oh, I see how it is! First you tell me to create a plan, and once I do you just criticize it! Well I can assure you this will work!” Keroro snapped his head back to the Sergeant Major. “Kululu! Find somewhere we can go to that has a lot of horse power!”

“Sure thing, dear! Ku ku ku!” Kululu popped open his laptop and began rapid scripting. Tamama peeped over the yellow Keronian's shoulder and gave a confused blink before slumping back over to his seat.

Kululu's words aren't that of a crush... they're that of a creep.

“Hmmph. I still doubt it will work,” Giroro grumbled. "How exactly is horse power going to help us?"

“I believe in Uncle’s Plan!” Mois objected in a cheer.

“That woman…” Came the reply from Tamama.

After a moment more of words being tossed back and forth, Kululu smashed a final key with a loud, THWACK!

"Kuuku, that place almost took me a whole minute to find and create a portal to. I really need to practice more," The Sergeant Major stated, flexing his fingers.

"Excellent work, Sergeant Major! Let's get this show on the road!" Keroro barked, jumping in glee. A part of his mind told him it was too good to be true, and another part told him there was nothing to worry about as this would definitely go as planned. His mind chose the latter, though it was easy to tell from the gleam rolling off of the Sergeant Major's glasses that such a simple invasion would not be so.

"Your wish is my command, Sergeant," Kululu raised up a remote, then pressed a button with the chirp, "Clickey-poo!"

"Horse power, here we come!" Keroro shouted as the platoon of five was silhouetted in a bright white. Their bodies were gently lifted from the ground, the air around them taking a sudden drop then raise in temperature. After a moment they themselves began to shimmer with an impressive glow. Angol Mois saw them off with a smile as they faded from view.

Keroro noticed the world around the five dissolve from the meeting room into a brilliant white. All he could hear was his own screaming and the chuckling of the ever-so-stoic Sergeant Major.

Then it all blacked out to nothing.

Keroro let out a groan as he came to. He ached all over, somewhat like having your whole body fall asleep and begin tingling as your blood starts to flow once more. This is the sensation that forced his eyelids open. All that the world could offer fluttered into view.

Keroro blinked the grogginess from his eyes and right away could tell he wasn't near the base, nor the Hinata house it was located under, and most likely not even the city it was located in.

This place was calm and happy and smelt strongly of grass, flowers, and other natural scents. There were barely any clouds in the sky, welcoming the sun that yawned down from above. He was lying somewhere on a dirt road, green grass reaching up in clumps here and there. In the distance a small town of some sort was vaguely visible.

"Seems like something from a silly T.V. show," He grumbled, straining his arms to pick himself up.

Oh, the irony.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Narrator? And what are you talking about?"

He didn't need the reply. Fear plummeted throughout his being as he realized his forelimbs bent rather awkwardly. A-Are my arms broken?! The tingling was slowly beginning to ebb away, yet he couldn't feel his fingers. What once were functioning digits were now a dull numbness. He craned his head, alarm further lodging itself into his heart as he realized he had a surprisingly long neck The statement that he had a neck at all was all the more fear-inducing as he slowly looked over his arms.

Or... forelegs?

"What the-- Gerooo!" The scream dislodged some birds from a nearby tree.

The Sergeant leaped to his- well, his hooves. "Why do I look like some inflated balloon animal?!" He shrieked, stomping each of his legs. The hooves he was now equipped with were pounding up dirt. It only took one swing of his head for him to assure his precious yellow cap was still equipped, but now he had a bushy green tail sprouting from his rear end. In fact, his whole body was covered in a slightly deeper shade of green fur.

"K-Kululu! Something went wrong!" Keroro snapped, trotting in a small circle. "I look like some pony or something!" He could just barely make out his white underbelly, seeing how his head wouldn't twist far enough for him to see. One more feature caught his eye. "Wha... Why is there a giant star on my butt instead of my belly?! Kululu, what did you do?!"

I am so putting this on Facebook.

Keroro whipped his head around, glaring into the sky before scanning for the yellow Keronian. He didn't see him. "K-Kululu?"

He trot towards a nearby bush, placing much effort into syncing how his hind legs and forelegs moved. "Dogs make it look so easy," He muttered after hesitantly extending a limb to move around the bush's foliage as if someone could possibly be hiding there.

"Tamama? Giroro?" He called, swinging his head around the other way and cantering back to where he'd first woken up in this strange land. "No worries, if I sit tight I'm sure they'll all show up," He huffed, plopping down onto his rump. His tail made sitting awkward, so he had to shift a few times before finally deciding to sprawl out onto his belly. Maybe it was the fact that the green Keronian had turned into a dog and even a dragon once that kept him relatively calm in his new equine state.

He hummed to his favorite theme for awhile, eager for something to do, then began naming the Gundam models in alphabetical order aloud.

His head jerked up suddenly. "Oh, Mr. Narrator~!"

No.

"Fine! Who needs you, anyway?" Keroro huffed, then returned to his own endeavors.

After that, he messed around in the dirt path, making small indents with his hoof. "That Sergeant Major... When I see him I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!" Keroro grumbled.

What felt like an eternity of laying and waiting on something to happen passed, inclining Keroro to finally rise to his hooves. "Grr... That's it! I'm just going to head over to that town and see if there are any Pekoponians who can help me, a talking, colorful pony thing... Well, I'll cross that bridge once I get to it! After all, I did pretty well as a Keronian! Gero gero gero!" The former-Keronian trotted down the dirt path, flicking his new tail a couple of times. "You know, this isn't all that bad!"

Chapter 2- Ponyville

Keroro loped down the dirt path, his gaze skittishly flicking from left to right as he neared the town. He passed many trees and shrubs; he couldn't find a single piece of discarded trash. Oh, great. I landed in some hippy town, didn't I?

You don't even know the half of it.

He stumbled a couple of times along the way as he was still hesitant with how his new pony legs bent. Though similar to that of a dog's, it was backwards. He didn't have fingers but he had a tail. He couldn't walk on his hind legs but he could go faster on four. It was somewhat of a give-take situation that Keroro didn't find all too bad.

Just wait until he sees how long he'll be stuck as one!

Keroro didn't pick up on the narrator's foreshadowing, instead gazing up at the buildings he finally neared. He picked up his pace, galloping over the final rise to view the village. He felt fine; the wind buffeted his fur, his hooves made a jolly clopping noise and the weather was bright and sunny. The Keronian began humming the Kero March, reaching the top of the rise and drawing his gaze down.

He drew to a halt, his hum trailing to a splutter. "W-What?!"

Keroro was absolutely dismayed to see more colorful ponies trotting around. The pallet-ponies held the same jovial note he too had held, interacting with smiles, laughs, and hoof-bumps. They walked to and fro, some ponies stopping to shop with baskets dangling from their maws. Others of the smaller persuasion were chasing each other, their shrill cries of excitement just reaching his ears.

"Where are the Pekoponians?!" Keroro complained, jaw agape. "There are just more of these ponies!"

To make matters worse for the Sergeant, he noticed a few were hovering with wings around the town. Others held objects afloat with the sparkle or glow of a horn. "W-Wings? Horns? What is this, some major acid trip?!"

"That Kululu..." He pouted, "First I'm turned into a pony, and next I don't even get wings or horn?"

What? No mention of the fact you're trapped in a foreign land not even on your planet?

The narrator's remarks once again fell on deaf ears as the Sergeant stomped a hoof. "Well, I suppose I'd better go back and wait again." He wanted no contact with these strange equines unless they were of his own platoon.

As he turned around, tail flicking in agitation, he broke into a run. A purple object came into view rather suddenly in his lowest field of vision. Keroro made an attempt to not crush whatever the blur could have been, crumpling over himself. He landed in a flail of limbs and hooves a short pace away.

"W-Watch it!" Keroro huffed, picking himself up immediately. Despite his harsh words, he cautiously checked to make sure whatever it had been wasn't smashed to pieces. He'd hate to ruin his low-profile with some record of murder. How would he pay for those fines?!

All current matters became two times as worse as he realized the purple object was a technicolor pony but instead a small purple dragon. Of all of the things I could've nearly trampled, it had to be a dragon, didn't it?!

Keroro and his platoon once faced an enemy that turned them all into dragons. Long story short, he has bad memories when it comes to dragons and is not particularly fond of them. Its kind of like how I am not too fond of frogs after some of my own experiences with them.

The dragon, who'd been pulling a small red wagon filled with some form of what appeared to be scrolls, was also thrown back. It dusted at its knees before looking up in alarm. "Oh, I'm sorry mister! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and kind of got in your way there! Here, let me help you up!" The little dragon reached forward a claw to help the fallen Sergeant to his hooves who now scooted away from the him with fear flashing in his eyes. He doubted he could even logically be helped up by this dragon, seeing as it's height was barely to his chest.

"S-Stay away, please," He mumbled, "Y-You're a dragon, correct?"

The dragon looked slightly taken aback a moment, then laughed. "Yes, but you shouldn't be scared of me! I'm still young, and I wouldn't harm a pony for anything! You must be new to Ponyville if you didn't know that," He smiled, looking back to check on the cargo he carried. He picked up a stray scroll and placed it back with the others.

"I-It's not that," Keroro hesitantly started, "I've, I've just had a bad history with dragons,"

The dragon shrugged and smiled. "That can't be helped, but I assure you I'm friendly! My name is Spike. I'm the personal assistant of Twilight Sparkle!" He stuck out his chest as though boasting something. Keroro casually glanced around, quite unsure of who this Twilight Sparkle fellow was.

"What, you don't know who Twilight Sparkle is?!" He gasped, "Why, she's Princess Celestia's very student! And she's saved Ponyville many times from destruction! How do you not know?" He then laughed again.

Hmm, it would seem as though she is quite powerful... Keroro reflected, but turned back to the matter at hand. "So, umm, Spike, do you happen to know where the portal back to Pekopon is?" He was somewhat annoyed at how Spike was laughing about something that seemed so trivial, though supposed as he'd nearly trampled the life out of him he should try and remain on his good side.

He finally allowed Spike help him up, promptly shaking out his fur as if being touched by the dragon could turn him into one once more. Spike then rose a brow to accompany his reply.

"Pekopon? What's that? It sounds like it would be near Manehattan," He stated. "And plus, that hat... Thing... Reminds me of something they'd make. Are you from Manehattan?"

Keroro let out a flat laugh. "I get it, Manehattan, Manhattan. Kero kero kero, that's pretty funny! You're good,"

Spike gave him a bewildered and blank look, and Keroro realized it must be an actual place. He shuffled on his hooves and stated, "N-No, where I came from was a place near the Nishizawa Tower, which is really big, and has a peach sign on the side. Ring any bells?"

Spike still looked a bit confused, and Keroro let out an impatient sigh. "Nevermind, just tell me the nearest place I can buy Gundam models or some manga or something."

After a thick silence, Spike finally spoke up. "Umm, mister, you speak sort of... Different. N-Not that it's bad, but I can tell you aren't from here. And probably not Manehattan either. Are you lost?" Spike tilted his head as he spoke.

Keroro let out another sigh, head drooping and tail twitching. "I guess I am." He perked up. "Oh, and my Platoon! Oh the poor things, they must be so lost and confused without their wonderful Sergeant to lead them through a crisis!"

"Your... Platoon? S-Sergeant?" Spike repeated hesitantly.

"Of course! Together we are the A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon! I need to find them, quickly!"

Spike gave him such a look that made Keroro wonder if he himself was crazy. "Anyways, I'm lost and need some sort of map. Do you have one?"

Spike blinked, and after a moment of thinking opened his mouth. "I don't, but I think Twilight does! She'll help you get where you need to go, uhhm..."

Keroro let the silence drag on a moment before realizing it was a cue. "Oh, Sergeant Keroro!"

"Sergeant... Keroro," His brow furrowed. "What does that mean? Is it a name from where you're from?"

"I already told you, I came here through Pekopon, but since you mention it I come from planet Keron! The 58th planet of the Gamma System!" Keroro didn't want to go into that for now, nor lose the dragon in the flood of information, so he added, "Can you take me to this Twilight Sparkle then?"

Spike nodded. "I was heading back into Ponyville anyways to give these spell scrolls to her. And because I live with her. She wants to study more magic," He informed, beginning to lead the way to the village.

Keroro hesitated a moment then followed, receiving a curious glance from Spike as he stumbled, forgetting to bend his forelegs forward instead of back like normal arms. He let out a curse under his breath.

"Magic? Does magic have anything to do with Horse power?" Keroro asked after regaining composure.

"Umm... I'm not sure what that means, but I guess so." Spike replied.

"Kero kero kero..." Keroro laughed with a dark mirth.

As Spike led the Sergeant through what Keroro had distinguished as Ponyville, he felt quite taciturn as other ponies and unicorns or pegasuses cast him curious or warm smiles.

"Why is everyone so friendly here..." He grumbled, "Not that it's bad avoiding getting pounded by Natsumi, but this is pretty strange behavior compared to Pekoponians..."

Spike either pretended not to hear him or didn't want to bother himself with his confusing words as he continued ahead without comment.

"Almost there," The dragon informed a bit later as they passed a big building that was decorated like some form of pastry. Keroro sniffed the air, and could smell baked goods, and cakes or breads were lined in the windows. He realized horses could smell better than Keronians. Or ponies. Whatever difference it really made right now.

Keroro followed in silence as they neared and steadily approached a large tree with a door and widows lining it. A balcony was perched aside from the foliage, with a telescope pointed at nothing. Maybe if Keroro looked at night time, he could see Keron, or Pekopon at least.

Spike approached the door, gave it a knock and opened it, calling, "Twilight, I'm back and I brought somepony!"

Keroro listened as a female's voice replied, "All right, Spike! I'll be down in a moment," and sure enough a purple pony came galloping down the stairs, her darker purple mane lined with pink stripes. Keroro observed the sparkle-like marking on her flank and decided she must be Twilight Sparkle, the pony Spike had mentioned as the frequent savior of Ponyville. And the one who possessed a map.

Spike closed the door once they both were within the hospitable and hollowed tree, and the purple pony approached Keroro.

"Oh, hello! Are you new to Ponyville? My name is Twilight Sparkle!" She seemed very affable.

Keroro rose a hoof, but quickly realized he couldn't salute for the same reason he kept stumbling. He nervously returned it to the ground as they both shot him wary glances.

"I'm Sergeant Keroro of the A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon!"

"Nice to meet you, Keroro," Twilight's eyes flashed with confusion, and it looked like it pained her to ask, "What is the A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon?"

"That's my Platoon of carefully chosen Keronians sent to inv-" He froze, and though Keroro wasn't very smart he had enough common sense to not mention invasion in such a friendly place, especially since he was looking for help. "S-Sent to Pekopon."

Twilight swallowed nervously. "Oh, umm, that's nice, Keroro. And what are Keronians and Pekopons?"

Keroro huffed, stomping a hoof. "It's not 'Pekopons', it's Pekopon. A place. And Keronians? I am a Keronian!"

Twilight inclined her head to look him over. "No, I'm pretty sure you're just an Earth Pony. Not a Keronian."

Keroro shut his mouth to not reply in the case she asked another question afterwards, letting out a sigh.

"Don't worry, I'm just as confused as you," Keroro heard Spike whisper to Twilight, who nudged him roughly with a hoof. "Be polite," She murmured back, and turned to smile at Keroro.

"So what brings you to Ponyville?"

"Spike brought me to Ponyville!" He replied.

Twilight chuckled as if that was a joke, but Keroro had meant that with all seriousness. Well, as serious as the procrastinating, lazy and childish Keroro could get.

Finally she added slowly, as if speaking to a small child, "Why are you at my house?"

Keroro blinked. "Oh! Well, Spike here told me you have a map I can borrow," He said with a flail of a hoof in the dragon's direction. "May I take a look at one?"

Twilight nodded. "O-Of course," And trot into another room. "Excuse me while I get it," Spike grabbed the wagon handle and followed.

That left Keroro alone for the moment.

He took the chance to better observe the room. "Kero kero kero," He murmured to himself, "If this Twilight Sparkle really saved Ponyville as much as Spike said, surely she has Horse power... Maybe there's a book about it," He murmured, "And I can read the summary on the back."

Keroro wouldn't dare waste his time on a book. Unless it was manga.

He found himself instead looking for said manga. He wandered around until he found some 'C' titles. Canterlot, Celestia, Celestial Formations, ... Keroro couldn't descry any Captain Geroro manga, nor did he find any other manga titles.

Keroro let out yet another huff, stomping a hoof with impatience. If there was no manga, was there even any Gundam?

"I need to find my Platoon as quickly as possible so we can finish this mission and get back to the Hinata house," He grumbled to himself. But this was Sergeant Keroro doing all of the grumbling. What were the chances something he said would go as planned?

Chapter 3- A Problem

The Sergeant didn't have to wait long before Twilight Sparkle galloped back into the library of her house. With an innocent smile, she trot to a low table sitting in the middle of the room. Settling herself on a small pillow placed below, she announced brightly, "So, Keroro, I have a few maps here for you to look at so we can see if we can locate this, this... Uhmm, where did you say you were from?"

Keroro trot forward to the other pillow, plopping himself bluntly onto the soft item. He didn't bother to wait for an invitation to seat himself there, but out of forget opposed to ignorance. "Pekopon! The portal back to Pekopon."

She gave a nod after he finished and corrected herself, "This Pekopon of yours." She turned to glance back at the door she'd come from earlier. "Now, here are those few maps I mentioned." Her horn sparked to life, and a blur of brown was swept into the room.

The table was covered instantly as she dropped a huge heap of scrolls and paper atop it. Keroro leaned forward to give it a disgusted nudge with a hoof. "This seems like something H.Q. would send," He remarked, but before he could unfurl one of the tightly bound bundles Twilight spoke up once more, "You mentioned a portal... Here in Equestria, we don't have portals." She spoke in an apologetic tone, but Keroro gave it no heed. "We have much other magic, such as teleporting and other similar concepts. But just no portals. Did you teleport here?"

Keroro let out a gasp as she'd spoken.

"No portals; how primitive! At least you have simple things such as teleportation and this levitation of yours, which makes you smarter than Pekoponians. Though magic is nothing in the face of Keron technology, kero kero kero!" He chuckled lowly to himself before picking up his voice and adding, "No, no, I'm quite certain the Sergeant Major used a portal... It's very efficient compared to teleporting!"

Twilight Sparkle let out a sigh, either hiding the fact she knew (or at least thought) she was correct and didn't want to cause a dispute, or just giving up on what instantly proved a hopeless case.

"If you say so," She stated evenly. "We'd best just start searching."

He prodded the mound of maps and paper before him in confusion as she deftly opened a scroll and set to work observing it. "What do we look for in these maps?" He followed her lead and parted a scroll to reveal it's contents.

He heartily wished he could cross his legs in this body as he did so. He also wished he had fingers to better take off the cloth that bound the maps closed. And most of all, he wished he wasn't doing any of this work.

"These are maps of the land," She replied while setting down the scroll. "Maybe somewhere has a landmark of some sort you recognize, so you can get back to where you came from. Or anything labeled 'Pekopon', though again I say this, I've never heard of such a place in Equestria!" Twilight slightly tilted her head.

"I told you, I'm from a different planet. The planet is Pekopon, it's not a place anywhere around here. Really!" He gave an angry stomp of a hoof, though he was quite unsure of if he'd mentioned the planet at all. "I used to be a Keronian, not a pony. I find Keronians are quite better." He added to himself in a mutter.

Twilight set down the next map she'd been analyzing, and looked up at him quizzically. "So you... Transformed into a pony?"

"Yes! I'd thought I made that clear." Keroro indignantly remarked, brow furrowed. "My Platoon has gone missing, and probably turned into these too... And if not, hopefully they've turned into Gundam... Oh, but wait, I don't have fingers..." He looked down at his stubby hooves. "Well, I'm sure I'll find a way!"

The purple pony rose a hoof of her own to her mouth, ignoring his words as she lost herself in her own. Her eyes dropped low as she pondered heavily. Pondering was a very weak subject for Keroro, so he just listened as some of her thoughts slipped into the open. "And there are others too... Who came by a portal..."

The Sergeant grew weary of listening to her. He gave a lazy nudge to a map, not able to be bothered with doing any further research or work of the sorts.

"Well..." She had a blank expression for a moment, though she shook it away quickly. "I-If I'm correct, we may have a problem." She flicked up her gaze and scanned her bookshelves, illuminating a thick book and bringing it down to eye level. The pony flipped through some pages, reading words softly to herself. Keroro strained to pick up her one-way conversation once more.

"Dimension fabrics... Teleporting large amounts of mass between worlds..." She finished almost as soon as she began reading it, and placed the book back where it belonged before swiftly proceeding to pluck another. Once it lay on the table, she flipped open to another set of pages and began skimming it at speeds Keroro didn't know possible. She froze on a page, and began paraphrasing aloud.

"Alteration of time and space... That is known to cause if left alone for too long..." She she kept reading, she gave quite the expression. "That, that can cause to the Planet..."

Keroro leaned forward. "What to the Planet? Cause easy invasion? Or gives unlimited Horse Power?"

Twilight Sparkle gave a nervous shake of her head, replacing the book onto the shelf. She flashed him a weird look to his odd comments, letting out a sigh.

"It can cause... Planetary destruction."

Keroro blinked. "As in Pekopon being destroyed?" That didn't seem too bad. Maybe he could say it was destroyed during invasion, and turn that in to HeadQuarters. He wouldn't be there when it happened, after all, so no loss on his end! (Of course, he'd once again forgotten the Hinatas disappearing and the Gundam destruction that would occur.)

"Yes, or even Equestria! We can't let that happen!" Twilight Sparkle quickly lifted her many maps with a spell of some sort and slipped back into the room, reappearing a heartbeat later. She returned to her seat, but didn't sit down.

"We can't?" Keroro tilted his head, but found himself ignored as she stared expectantly at him.

"Of course not! There are too many innocent ponies to be destroyed because of you. N-Not to say you aren't welcome here, but it's sort of a life-and-death situation," Twilight shuffled from hoof to hoof. "We can avoid any disaster if we hurry to return you all to your world quickly, before it's too late. So, how many were there again, Keroro?"

Keroro stood up, stretching out each limb slowly as if he didn't have a care in the world, contrasting heavily with the now frantic movements of Twilight.

"There were four others," He yawned. "Hey, do you have any manga?"

She continued without heed to his comment, "Well, we have four ponies to hunt down and return to this Pekopon of yours. As fast as possible. Come along, Keroro," Twilight opened the door, "We can get some of my friends to help us find them!"

"My Platoon is probably hopeless without me," He reflected, following her out of the library that doubled as her house. This was a sad thing on his end, as the former-Keronian was ever-so-elegant in his interior design skills and knew there was so much more that could be done here. But Twilight was persistent with the current task at hand, it seemed, as she ushered him out when he was lax in his exit.

She called out, "We're leaving, Spike!" and proceeded to shut the door after Keroro was clear of it.

"Now, come on, Keroro! We need to get some help," She flashed a glance left and right, before perking up with a sudden beam. "The Sugarcube Parlor is the closest to us; maybe Pinkie Pie is nearby!"

Before Keroro could figure out that the Sugarcube Parlor was a place and Pinkie Pie was a name, Twilight was already galloping away. He cantered after her slowly, calling out,

"What? Going already? Can't we rest for a bit, maybe eat or surf the internet?"

Twilight lurched to a halt, turning back as he leisurely caught up. "No! This is urgent! ...And what is the internet?"

At those five simple words, Keroro froze. Something shattered inside of him. He could hear his Gundam crying in agony, despite their current distance. "T-There's no internet here?" He gasped.

"No, and again, what is that?" She asked in return. She cast a wary glance at the direction she'd been going and turned, pressing ahead. Keroro tailed her closely, replying with his own statement.

"This is awful! We need to return to Pekopon immediately! There's no internet here!"

Twilight Sparkle gave a toss of her head in annoyance and continued on to the Sugarcube Parlor. Keroro followed closely, fueled by the loss of something so dear to him.

Prologue- A Normal Invasion Meeting (Re-vamped)

“Gero Gero Gero! This invasion meeting is now in session!”

The voice resonated from deep within an underground base, bouncing down the passages and reverberating through the halls. Past the many rooms and chambers of such high technology, one could question the identity of those responsible for this fortress. The answer lay gathered within a brightly lit room near the entrance to said base.

Many empty chairs stretched towards the back of the room, all focused towards a podium on the northern wall of the room. A desk and board were all that would accompany the speaker, who now rose a finger in emphasis to his words. Upon closer inspection, one could see the first few seats facing the podium were filled with three Keronians.

...

Oh, right, this is my cue! Ahem. I'm the Narrator for Sgt. Frog; I'm the voice always announcing the important stuff and talking to the characters. You see, Keronians are these alien frog freaks sent from their planet, Keron, to invade earth. It's quite simple; Keronian, Keron. They plan on invading the earth, which they call Pekopon.

These aliens were akin to frogs, adorned in caps and bright colors. Three sets of eyes gleamed in curiosity, though not necessarily of the cheery kind.

There was a following moment of silence, not a soul daring to move. Once again it should be mentioned that the reactions of the others were not as much in awe as in irritation.

The moment of silence expired as the green frog continued in an assertive bark, “A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon, anyone with helpful ideas for invading should say them now!”

Yes, the A.R.M.P.I.T. Platoon. It stands for the Advanced Recon Mission Preparatory Invasion Terror Platoon. It's quite an unfortunate acronym, though I must say it is pretty fitting.

The green Keronian swept his gaze across the room, moving his head to meet each face placed opposite to him. His pale yellow cap flapped against his face as he gave a dismayed shake of his head. “Wha… No one? Are you frogging kidding me?” He muttered. The next moment was spent clearing his throat and sparking into action once again. He shoved forward his finger to point, though this time at an actual object: his comrade who sat in the farthest seat to the left.

“Corporal Giroro! Name an invasion plan, would you?”

As his name was called, a crimson Keronian lifted his dark eyes from a gun he stroked with a cleaning cloth. He merely grunted in reply, his optics holding a note of challenge as they met the other's.

"What? Nothing? Aren't you supposed to be a soldier?" The speaker guffawed, folding his arms irately.

It only took a heartbeat for the Corporal to swing up his weapon, pointing its barrel at the Sergeant. “It isn't a soldier's job to create the plans, it's the leader's!" He snapped. "And I was unfortunate enough to be stuck with you as my leader, Sergeant Keroro. You wouldn't even be a soldier if it weren't for your father's work on the battlefield. Now, that man was a soldier! Why don't you try actually doing some work of your own for once?!”

Here would be a nice place for me to mention that Keroro's father was known as the 'Demon Sergeant'. He worked unmentionable horrors in the wars he took part in, though he always came out victorious. It would be safe to say that the only reason Keroro is a Sergeant himself is due to his father's work.

Keroro let out a shocked gasp, quick to retort to the other, “Well maybe my platoon should be a bit more cooperative! I like to share my work! And don't you bring my father into this!”

“Oh, you like to share? I bet you'd love to share some of your Gundam for my new ammunition, especially after my last clip was wasted on me trying to shoot you last week after that invasion was a bust as well!” The Corporal hot-headedly shot back.

“Why I never-“ Before the flustered green frog could fling himself at his red Platoon-mate, a delicate voice made itself known.

"Uncle, why don’t you move on before you get too worked up again? You could say, work before war?”

"Well, what if your work is war?" Giroro grumbled from afar.

Keroro gave a startled blink and turned around, smiling nervously at the tall blond standing nearby. Upon making eye contact, she tilted her head slightly and smiled politely back to the frog.

“Oh, good idea, Angol Mois! Because some of us aren’t very smart in the 'invading a planet' catagory, it seems! Maybe they shouldn't have become an invader if they weren't up to the challenge!” The Keronian hissed through gritted teeth. He snorted in discontent and turned to the next frog in line. “Private Second Class Tamama!”

This time the reply came from a small black tadpole as he pulled his face from a bag of potato chips. “Oh, yes, Sarge?”

A smile dominated his face as he blinked pleasantly towards the Sergeant. The signal he sent was all but too obvious in meaning. Keroro made haste to ignore the tadpole's attempts towards him, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“What, do I have to repeat myself? What invasion plans do you have! We need to find a way to take over Pekopon!” As he began to rave once again the blonde stepped forward, waving her arms desperately and mumbling about getting the other to calm down.

Her words didn't reach the Private, though. His eyes flicked with growing choler between his beloved Sergeant and that devil of a woman. How dare she take all of the Sergeant's attention away from him?!

This gem is Angol Mois, the Angolian. (You know, I'm beginning to think the writers for this show were really lazy.) Tamama shares a one-way rivalry with her for Keroro's love.

The Angolian managed to calm Keroro down for the time being, though as one temper fell another was instantly fettered. Tamama feigned a rather twitchy smile to mask his onslaught of coming jealously as he replied in indirect revenge towards Keroro, “Oh, well, I kinda’ have to agree with Giroro. Creating a plan isn’t part of our job.” He paused to pop a potato chip into his mouth, his gaze now flicking towards Angol Mois. “We usually just do what you say, as we are your Platoon, and we were assigned to invade Pekopon. If you ask me, I'd tell ya' there are some outsiders who shouldn't be allowed to listen to our invasion plans. Here's a hint: the outsiders are stupid women!” His last sentence was drowned in a throaty growl.

Needless to say, Tamama is rather bi-polar.

“What? You actually agree with him?” The green frog gasped, twitching a few times in shock. "W-What kind of loyalty is this?!" The remark about the Angolian seemed to soar straight over his head.

“Kuukuku,” A yellow frog decided to pipe in, most likely in an attempt to start a brawl he could enjoy spectating, “Maybe you should just try creating a plan that works. Then you wouldn’t be asking us, Keroro.”

“How dare you, Kululu-“

“Well, I doubt he could pull his face away from his pathetic Gundam Models or stop watching T.V. long enough to do that,” Giroro muttered loudly, once again working grime from his weapon in some form of stress relief.

“Grr...! Do all of you think I can’t create a plan to take over Pekopon?” Keroro challenged, rapidly stomping a foot.

“I believe if you really worked, leader, maybe one of your plans would turn out successful.” The voice of an innocuous blue Keronian just reached their ears. Heads turned nervously.

“Oh, Dororo! You know, it's about time you showed up! Speaking of loyalty..." Keroro huffed, tapping a foot to the ground.

“W-Wha… I’ve been here the whole-“ His voice was drowned as Keroro’s anger flared at his platoon's 'failed loyalty' once again.

“Well, I’ll show you! I’ll show you all who can create a good plan, and when Pekopon is finally under my control we'll see who's insulting whose father! Gero gero gero!” Keroro chuckled, folding his arms over his chest. “Gero, gero, gero…”

After a moment more of laughing he spun on a heel and trot out of the room, still chuckling to himself.

“Uncle!” Mois cried, eyes flashing with worry as she propelled after him. "Uncle, wait!"

Another thing to mention would be the 'uncle' thing... though I'm not too sure about that one myself.

The Private Second Class suddenly seethed in rage, clutching his bag of chips tightly. The sound of shredding cellophane lay thick in the air as he ground his fingers, radiating such a bad aura that it practically darkened the air around him. “How dare that woman think she can get Keroro’s attention by caring for him…” He growled to himself, though other alien frogs had different thoughts at the moment.

“Hmmph, as long as whatever he thinks up isn't based off of something he finds in a children's book... again,” The Corporal mutinously muttered, picking up his gun to take his own leave.

After managing to compile his list of chores onto Angol Mois, Keroro exited the secret base into the Hinata household.

Okay, just how much am I going to have to explain? I don't get paid enough to be doing this! ... Fine, fine. When Keroro first landed on Pekopon, his platoon was scattered. He'd attempted to hide in the Hinata house when he was discovered by siblings Fuyuki and Natsumi Hinata. He now lives with them as well as their mother in some strange turn of events, even though they openly know he is out to invade their planet. Supposedly Fuyuki's friendship with the Sergeant and Natsumi's strength against him are the earth's 'only defenses' from his platoon. I find it all corny, but I didn't write this show. Some crack addict or someone of the sort did.

The Sergeant, fueled by the fury of being called out and challenged by his Platoon, began to think of a plan up in his room. He paced the floors, lips pursed and fingers interlaced behind him. He paced for tens of minutes, his mind slugging through possible plans. Toenail monsters? Too gross. Alphabet soup? Not enough literates worldwide.

Hot ladies?

Too Narrator-y.

Despite further attempts at plans, nothing that seemed like it would actually work in a full-scale invasion came to Keroro's mind.

Isn't that a shocker.

"Shut up! You're not the one doing such hard work!" Keroro groaned, flopping onto his lawn chair of a sofa and staring up at the ceiling. "I can't think of anything! I... I need... I need inspiration!"

The Keronian hobbled over to his television, sitting in front of the reflective black screen and crossing his legs.Just a bit of relaxation would probably do my mind well, after all! He thought with a small hum. As he craned out his hand for the remote, he remembered how the Corporal had mentioned his addiction to T.V. His hand locked up.

“Well… It shouldn’t be a problem with him, since I'll only watch for a moment,” He murmured, reaching forward with a doubtful palm.

“W-Wait! What if I get caught watching T.V.? Especially by Giroro? He’ll never let me live this down!” He retracted his hand rapidly, giving a harsh nod to add meaning to his words. But alas, the Keronian was only fooling himself.

“Just a few minutes sounds so nice, to soothe my soul and maybe even give me the inspiration that I need,” He clutched and fingered the remote with a sweaty grasp, yet hesitated from hitting the power button.

“Ohh… I really need to focus, if I watch just a minute I might get distracted and keep watching for hours… But then, that would be so relaxing for a change… Ohhh, what do I do, Geroooooo!” The Sergeant smacked his palms to each side of his head and shook roughly side to side, his cap flaps flailing against his face.

And this weird display of mental arguments is normal for him. Can anybody remind me why I work here?

As Keroro abrasively tossed his head side to side in panic, the hand holding the remote mashed against the power button. The T.V. yawned to life, illuminating the already bright room in a white glow.

“Oh, no, look what I’ve—Ooh, look, Captain Geroro is on!” The green frog gasped, instantly settling down on his knees and elbows to watch with intent black eyes.

After a few breaths of watching said Captain Geroro, the green frog muttered a curse as commercials flashed over the screen.

“What the crap? I barely got ten seconds of T.V.! This so isn’t fair!” Keroro remarked angrily, a hair's length away from performing a table-flip. After killing a couple of minutes worth of commercials in a bout of rage, rubbish littered the television and a car commercial flickered on. Its ear-racking music and obnoxious narrator immediately snagged the Keronian's attention.

“This new mini-van seats six, has automatic cruise control, and is completed with one hundred and sixty horse power! Remember, the world runs on horse power, so buy yours today!”

I know I've said this before, but I have got to be the best narrator ever... and we've had recent budget cuts.

And it was at that moment Keroro’s seething, bland and rather slow mind was sparked to action. His meager thoughts were quickly kindled into a flame of inspiration. “T-That’s it!” He gasped, a sly smile parting his mouth with an accompanying shadow forming over his face as he slowly entwined his fingers. “That will definitely work… Gero gero gero, with this plan, I can definitely invade Pekopon!”

Author's Note

As if I haven't re-vamped this enough. x'D Enjoy this. I'm going to attempt to finish it. I can't even remember what plot I'd had planned. Uguu.
lovecoloured edited this.