I was surprised she didn’t request to see me on her final day alive. However, I wasn’t going to let her go to her grave without hearing what I’ve had building up inside of me for six years. Six long damn years I watched her breathe in a coma with a burning desire to just take her pillow and snuff the life out of her. To make her pay for everything she put us through. Because of her and her damn crusade we’ve lost so much... including ourselves.
I can never forgive myself for the sins I committed in the name of “harmony and friendship”. Lies. All lies she told us for her planned perfect little world that would have had us live under the bones of an entire species we tried to eliminate. If the old Twilight from when I was her student could see me now, she would deny everything I would tell her. Back then, Celestia was the closest thing to a goddess I believed in. She was perfect in every way.
Had she always been this despicable in real life? Just a mask to hide the cruel being that was the real Celestia? Or was she just only recently turned into the genocidal, human-hating monster that was locked behind this thick layer of prison walls, guards, force fields, and automatic turrets who were all ready to end her life the moment she tried anything funny?
To be honest, I had hoped to be there when she woke up. To tell her that she was going to be placed under trial for all the crimes she committed. I would have loved to have seen her face, but I was invited to join Fluttershy for her son’s first Communion despite not believing in any god, Pony or Human. I only learned about her awakening after the reception.
By the time I got there, riots were breaking out all over the world demanding to just kill her and be done with it. To be honest, I would have preferred the same. Yeah, cold hearted; but you weren’t part of a sick and twisted process that turned humans into ponies while losing themselves. A process I am still trying to fix. You didn’t lead armies of ponies to either force humans to convert to this process or kill them. You didn’t betray everything you believed in growing up and have to live with that for the rest of your life. If there really is a heaven or hell, I’m not going to the former. I’ve resigned to that fate, but I’ll be damned if I don’t send Former Princess Celestia there first.
Still, the U.N. wanted a public trial. To show the once proud “Sun Princess” that she was nothing more than a criminal cast down due to her hubris and abandoned by all; just like the human story of MacBeth. Everyone was expecting her to defend whatever reasons she had for dragging Equestria into Earth’s dimension and converting humans into ponies or letting them die. For letting all the species in our old world die. All of us expected some “greater good” speech... but we didn’t get it.
When asked how she pleaded, she said, “Guilty.”
Nobody expected that. I didn’t expect that. She didn’t say anything else except that one word.
Guilty.
She never asked for anything else. Not last meals, requests, or visitors.
She didn’t even request me.
That’s why I’m here. I need to see her. I need to tell her everything. And I need to ask... why? Why do all this? If there was one thing I wanted to ask for, it was the damn truth. What was the real reason for us coming to Earth and forcing humanity to become a lifeless, simple-minded version of us? Did Princess Celestia really believe in all that Conversion Propaganda that was around all those years before the war? Or was this just another one of her hidden plans that didn’t work out for once?
It took hours for me to be granted clearance and I asked Spike and Fluttershy if they wanted to join with me since they were already here for the execution. Fluttershy said she had nothing to say and Spike whispered that if he saw her, he would burn her and piss on her ashes. A part of me didn’t even know if I was going to do that, although I knew the Thalmann Generators are working overtime to keep her power in check.
When the final force field was down, I entered the large cell room that held my once great idol, who was now nothing more than a mess. Her once flowing multi-colored mane was torn up and looked like it had been through a minefield, with her bangs covering up her face. Her wings were gone, all plucked of feathers while her horn was sawed off. Her hooves were cracked and bloody while her entire coat was covered in dust and grime. Even her once bright cutie mark was now a dim color. I was looking at a goddess who had fallen into the pit of disgrace. Her dull and near-lifeless eyes gazed at me from beyond those bangs and stared into my fire-filled ones.
“... So you did come,” whispered Celestia.
“Were you expecting me?” I asked, my tone void of emotion. I wanted to yell at her, but not yet. Now wasn’t the time.
“I thought there was a chance you would come to see me. Even if you didn’t, I would have accepted that. It is nice to see you, however, Twilight,” said Celestia as kindly as possible, but no smile decorated her lips.
“I’m not here for a pleasant conversation and a cup of tea, Celestia,” I growled. “I’m not even here to say goodbye. Frankly, I don’t care anymore about you. I’m just here because I have one question and one question left for you.”
“And what question is that?” asked Celestia.
I took a deep breath and demanded, “Tell me why. Why did you do all of this? What was the real reason?”
Celestia was quiet as my question hung in the air. I held my breath as I prepared myself for whatever answers she was going to give me. What I didn’t expect was for her to snort and look away without a care. “Does it matter?”
I blinked. “Y-yes it matters?!”
“Why? It would change nothing. I am going to still die, Twilight. I’ve lost the love and respect of my little ponies. I will forever be remembered as a monster,” reasoned Celestia with a heavy sigh. “Telling the truth will not change those facts, and it’s far better for my reason to die with me. I’m fine with whatever the history books will say about me. It’s what I deserve, anyway.”
“So, you admit that what you did was wrong? Was this before or after your defeat at the hands of the humans?” I growled.
“From the very moment we stepped onto this planet,” whispered Celestia with a sorrowful look. “Twilight, just go. Leave me to die in peace and live your life with whatever perception you have of me.”
“Not until I have my answer! You owe me this much, Celestia!” I screamed as I got closer to her face. “You were my mentor! My hero! I loved you even more than I did my own mother! Yet I lost everything following you! I lost friends, family, and ponies I’ve known for years! I lost my ability to have foals! Two of my friends hate me because I did the right thing by surrendering and now I have to hunt them down like criminals! My very hooves are stained with the blood of Equestria knows how many innocent lives from either the potion I helped create or my magic alone! Not to mention I played a part in leaving an entire planet with millions, if not billions, to die because I trusted you saying they would be okay! If it wasn’t for the fact that I still had Spike and Fluttershy, I’d just kill myself and end my miserable life right now!”
When I stopped to take a deep breath I was wiping the tears that were in my eyes. Through my misty vision I saw that my former mentor was shedding a few of her own. “Please... just tell me… you owe me that much... Princess...”
“... you’re right,” I heard her whisper while feeling her nuzzle my cheek. I wanted to push her away, but my outburst had left me so tired I couldn’t even resist. “Out of everypony, I hurt you the worst, Twilight. You have been like a daughter to me, and I have never forgiven myself for all the suffering I have brought upon you. Not even if I were to die a hundred times would it be enough.”
She straightened herself and looked at me with such a serious look I hadn’t seen in her since we declared war all those years ago. “If I tell you my real reasons, you must promise me that you will never reveal it to a single soul.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because the world is united in their hatred for me. I am the villain. The one who almost ruined two races because of whatever reason the press can think. If they knew the truth, it might damage that unity. It might not; but I’d rather not risk it. I’d rather die hated and be forever labeled a demon if it means my ponies can be forgiven for following me,” answered Celestia.
I didn’t know what to make of this, but I guess I owed Celestia this much for all her previous goodwill towards me. That, and we were slowly being forgiven and seen as victims for Celestia’s crimes, just like humanity. I worked hard for six years to end this hatred and I was finally making progress. I couldn’t risk that. “Fine, I promise.”
Celestia took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, obviously trying to gather her thoughts. I wanted her to hurry up, especially since there was only four hours left until she died by firing squad. Even if she didn’t have access to her magic, her alicorn body was still as tough as they come. Firing her with laser rifles at maximum power was the only solution. It would render her to ash, but it wasn’t like anybody was going to be at her funeral.
Finally, she spoke. “Three hundred years before Nightmare Moon returned, I sensed something wrong with our sun. It was like it was... screaming, for the lack of a better word. Screaming in pain.” She winced as she shook her head. “Because of my connection to the sun, I felt that pain and wondered what was wrong, especially as it continued each day. I researched what I could find, scanned with my magic to find out what was wrong. Until I finally had an answer.” She opened her eyes and stared at me. “Our sun was dying.”
My eyes widened. Dying? The sun was... dying? “But that... that can’t be… it would have looked different than it does back home! I’ve seen dying suns in this dimension and they-”
“This dimension has a different set of laws and physics than ours, Twilight,” interrupted Celestia. “In our dimension, the sun always has one color. In this dimension, they have multiple. We have magic. They do not; or if they did, it was lost long ago. Unlike this dimension, our planet was the center of the system with the sun and moon equally revolving around us.” Celestia shook her head. “I tried to deny it at first, Twilight, but over the years since that discovery it became harder and harder for me to raise the sun. The pain each time was immense. I had to hide it from my subjects just to keep them from worrying.”
My brain went into overload trying to rationalize this. If the sun, our old one, was really dying, was there anything that could have been done? If the sun were to die, our planet wouldn’t be able to survive.
“Is... is that why it hurt so much?” I whimpered, thinking of the time I raised the sun in my efforts to stop Tirek. “I... I thought it was because of my inexperience; but.... I felt like I was... was...”
“Dying? Yes, that’s why,” answered Princess Celestia. “By the time you wielded it that one time, the sun was only 50 or so years from its final breath, as it were.”
“Then... we were doomed no matter what?” I asked with halted breath. “Why... why didn’t you tell anypony?”
“If Equestria, or even the world, knew that the sun was going to die, it would cause a panic,” Celestia sighed. “When I realized what was going on those hundreds of years ago, I knew I had to do something. I researched everything and had the most brilliant minds at the time help me. At first we tried to figure out a way to keep the sun alive, we even looked up Dark Magic to help us, but nothing could keep the sun going. After that, I found the solution when I was looking up through the notes of Starswirl the Bearded.”
“His theory of cross dimensional travel,” I answered. That was what Princess Celestia gave me to ‘solve’, as it were, and I discovered what it was possible to do with the Elements of Harmony. “You figured out how to do it before I did, didn’t you?” I growled. “You just played with me!”
“I had to,” said Celestia, with no regret in her voice. “Yes, I discovered it was possible to cross into different dimensions, even look into them. The problem was, we didn’t have the method for larger transportation. My hope was to teleport all of us, the entire planet, into a different dimension and live in that one; but finding the right dimension is tricky, Twilight. I’ve seen so many different worlds in the past three hundred years. Some of them so beautiful, others so deadly. Filled with different species and creatures and some had no life at all.”
“Why not choose any of those dimensions? Why this one with the humans?” I asked. If there were so many choices, why not just take one and leave it at that? Why invade this one of all things?
“You really think crossing into different worlds is safe? That there wasn’t a risk? I sent a soldier each time I thought I found a perfect dimension for us, only to see them unable to survive the physical laws of that universe or die from a danger we couldn’t even face. There are more dangerous things in the multiverse than humanity, Twilight. Ones that could kill you and I in seconds.”
She paused to let that ring in my head. I had always thought humanity was the most dangerous thing I’ve ever seen, but there were creatures even more dangerous? While the scientist in me wanted to ask more about these worlds, I knew I had a limited amount of time. “When did you finally find this dimension?”
“One hundred years ago,” answered Celestia, a disgusted look in her eyes. “I saw a perfect world that was filled with life and yet I saw the only intelligent species wasting it. I saw their wars, their hatred, starvation, and greed. I saw them pollute, destroy, and waste their planet and potential. I saw their lifeless machines and I learned more about their history over time as I continued to watch. How could a species this destructive continue to exist when we barely managed to survive our own near end from the Endless Winter? How could this species be so more advanced than us, and yet so savage? If these beings had a god, it must have abandoned them long ago or is so irresponsible to let them continue their ways.”
“So you decide to come in and play god?!” I shouted. “We had no right! Do you not even understand what you’ve done to them?! What we have?!”
“Twilight, they were going to wipe themselves out sooner or later. The only reason we of Equestria survived as a species was because of the magic of friendship. These humans didn’t have that. They had no hope for their future,” answered Celestia, biting her lip. “Even if I’m wrong, isn’t it better to end some pointless endless cycle by ridding them of their humanity and making them something different? Something better than a cruel human?”
“... I’ve seen cruel ponies before, Celestia. I’m looking at one, right now,” I answered.
“I guess that’s true,” she whispered. “Anyway, I saw this planet and sent my apprentice before you, Sunset Shimmer, to see if it was livable. She said it was. However, I watched as native hunters in the continent of Africa struck her down in a surprise attack and.... And...” A few tears dripped from her eyes. “They feasted on her...”
I couldn’t help hold my hoof to her mouth and look at my mentor with pity. I heard the previous apprentice before me met with an accident... but to be eaten... “How... terrible...” I whispered. They must have thought her some mystical animal to be eaten by their gods. A part of me wanted to say they killed out of ignorance, but I still couldn’t help but feel sorry for this Sunset pony. “Was... was all of this revenge then?”
“No, but I won’t deny that a part of it was,” answered Celestia. “I was running out of time. This was the only dimension that had enough we could live on. The problem was no magic... and the humans.”
“The first was easy to solve,” answered Celestia. “I realized that the power of the Elements, blessed by the tree, could boost the spell to transport our nation into this world as a new continent. The problem was the humans. I didn’t want to go to war with them if I could, but I figured that the magic we would bring in a shield form would be unreliable to them since magic is a foreign substance. I didn’t want to commit genocide... so I thought why not try making them ponies? They could be happy and free from their greedy human nature. They could live among us and learn magic. They could learn true harmony that their leaders and teachers had failed to give them for nearly thousands of years.”
“And what if they didn’t want it? What if they were fine as they were?” I pointed out. “I’m not saying humans are perfect, but for the last six years I’ve also seen humans help me restore what we have caused in this world. I’ve even had humans come up and forgive me for my actions.”
“I’m not saying they are all bad, but I couldn’t risk it, Twilight!” Celestia shouted standing up with fury in her eyes. “If we had come in with peace sooner or later we would have gone to war! Our own ponies would have abandoned friendship and harmony for their philosophies, religions, and behaviors! I couldn’t have humanity poisoning Equestria! Not when I worked so hard to keep it pure and protected for thousands of years!” Celestia lowered her head. “I just couldn’t, Twilight...”
“... so the potion?” I asked, thinking about that horrible thing. I admit I never saw the potion’s actual effects until I used it once as a grenade during the war. To see a human transform painfully into a pony and look at you with those dead and “happy” eyes is just... a nightmare.
“I didn’t know about the effects of the potion until a year after we set up the Conversion Bureau,” answered Celestia with sorrow in her voice. “I never wanted to make them sterile, nor did I want the New Foals to lose their personalities. It was something I didn’t think would happen. I figured I could reverse this when we turned the entire population into New Foals, but that will never happen now.” She looked at me with a pleading look on her face. “Please fix them, Twilight. While I do not regret making them ponies, I do regret what I have done to them when they became one of us. I already know of your efforts to reverse it. I know you will find a way.”
I didn’t answer her, because I already was dedicated to fixing her mistakes. Reversing the potion was my one goal that I wanted to do before I died. “One last thing... you said you were trying to transport our world into the earth’s dimension... why didn’t you? Why did you leave everybody back home to die?”
If what Celestia said was true, then those back in our world were dead no matter what. Without the sun and the moon moving, they would have been unable to survive the conditions that had changed. Even if they did find some way, if the sun was to die out the world would be taken out with it.
“Your theory with the Elements helped me figure out a way to teleport our nation to Earth,” said Celestia with a heavy sigh. “But it wasn’t enough to teleport our world. I had to make a choice, either waste more time and lose our chance to survive or sacrifice the rest of the world for our people. I had no choice, Twilight. My first and foremost duty was to my ponies and if that meant sacrificing the rest of the races of our world then it was my sin to bear.”
“They could have helped us. We could have shared our knowledge,” I pointed out, trying not to think of the last moments of a little griffin baby who would only live for a few weeks upon birth or a zebra couple holding each other in their final moments. Hell, I even felt sorrow for Queen Chrysalis and her hive.
“No, they would have gone to war with us for the Elements or the process on how to perform the spell,” muttered Celestia. “Equestria would have been against the world if that happened, so I made sure the information never leaked out. I wanted to keep us out of war for as long as possible.”
“And yet you did put us to war. Against humanity. And the millions if not billions of graves of both sides are all your fault,” I muttered.
“I had no choice, Twilight. I was trying to save them,” Celestia muttered. “The shield was growing and would have wiped them all out if they didn’t convert. I had to go to war to force them to save them. I know my methods were wrong in many ways, but my intentions were good!”
“... Did Luna think so?” I snapped and finally saw my former mentor lean back at the mentioning of her sister. “You kept it from her, didn’t you? The real reason we came? I watched her die trying to save us from the humans in Jerusalem and we risked bringing her body back here. Did you realize your mistake the moment you held her dead body and cried, or was it after the Crystal Empire was nuked and left an entire race to decline?” I stepped forward, inching closer. “Did you realize your mistake when they bombed our shores? Killed my friends and family? Sent Canterlot into flames?! Or was it when you woke up with a million voices screaming for you to die?!”
Silence rang in the prison as I took a deep breath. “Celestia. You may have had good intentions, you may have been trying to save us... but you once told me that the right way is always the hardest and difficult way. But you must follow it because the rewards are everlasting.” I looked deep into her eyes. “You failed to follow that. Your methods were too extreme. Innocent life of all kinds has died... and if there is an afterlife, you will have to answer for that.”
I slowly turned around. My emotions were spent. I was done. I had my answer. And while I now understood and could sympathize with Celestia, I still couldn’t agree with her. Maybe if I was in her hooves I could have, but I didn’t. I still can’t. Even if what she said was true, it doesn’t change the fact that it was wrong. At least... that’s what I see it as. Maybe others would see it different, but I will never tell anybody or anypony. I’ll just say she refused to answer and let her reasons die with her.
“Twilight,” said Celestia, knowing these would be her final words to me. “You may be right in saying what I did was wrong. But everything I did, I did for my little ponies. I do not regret trying to save them... but I do regret all that has been lost in the process.”
“... Goodbye, Celestia,” was all I said before I left the room. I walked through all the security points and doors. I ignored the looks and questions from others as I silently walked passed them. I headed into a bathroom and placed an anti-sound spell in the stall that I sat on.
And I cried.
I cried for hours.
I cried so much I missed her execution.
Author's Note
That's three out of six stories in this series done. Yeah, see while I'm all for Xenolesia and all that stuff I want to give a reason to why invade Earth and do the whole Conversion stuff. So I figured, why not make it that she wanted to save her own people at the cost of another. Now I try not to make this all Anti-Human or Pro-Human, but rather in the way I think this would actually happen as best as I can.
After this story we'll be doing "Useless" where we focus on Rainbow Dash and Applejack. That should be hopefully sometime in the May month.
Thanks again for reading and if you wish to donate to my patreon click here.
