Author's Note

This bonus chaper is a silly idea I had while writing my story.
Since the story did not exactly have a happy (preliminary) end, I thought I'd publish it (to lighten the mood a little ).

Bonus 5.5. Recipes

Pinkie Pie went into her room and set down onto her bed. Meeting this ‘Antonius Varus’ had not gone as smoothly as she had imagined, but she at least still had the chance to become his friend. She just had to figure out a way how.

Pinkie looked at…
…
No, Pinkie, no…

“Why not? You know I can do this, so why shouldn’t i do it?”

Pinkie, you just don’t break the fourth wall. It’s… confusing… especially for the author…

“Oh, come on! I just have a teensy, tiny little request.”

What kind of request?

“Can’t you make me and Antonius Varus friends? You just need to write something like ‘and then they were besties’ or so.”

No, Pinkie, no. That would bee too fast, and too easy. If we start solving difficulties this way, the whole story will become a mess.

“Why?”

Well, imagine someone had just written ‘and then Nightmare Moon suddenly became friendly and released Celestia’ after she showed up for the first time. You would never have discovered that you are the Element of Laughter.

“Oh… that makes sense…”

See? So, you’ll have to find a way to become Antonius’ friend.

“Hmm… what’s his favorite food?”

Huh?

“I want to prepare his favorite food for him!”

I… did not think about that yet.

“What? How could you not? Eating is, like, super important, you know!”

I know, Pinkie. I eat, too.

“Do you have a favorite food?”

Yes… I think so…

“Than, just tell me and make your favorite food Antonius’ favorite food - problem solved.”

Pinkie, Antonius is a Space Marine. His favorite food should be Space Marine food with a higher nutrition value.

“Just think of something and give me the recipe, okay?”

Recipe? There are no recipes for Space Marine food! At least I don’t know any.

BUT I DO!

Huh? Who’s that?

THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ALWAYS WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS - I AM THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND!

Huh? You’re not supposed to show up here - at least not now!

I AM THE EMPEROR. I DO NOT BOW TO THE WILL OF LESSER HUMANS!

I am the author.

I AM THE EMPEROR. WHO HAS THE CAPITAL LETTERS, HUH?

Info for my readers: I just sighed.

“Hey, Mr. Emperor?”

YES, LITTLE ONE?

Oh great, now they’re talking to each other…

“Do you really know a recipe for Space Marine food? As the big, important Emperor, you should know such stuff…”

Pinkie, I don’t think that…

OF COURSE I KNOW SUCH A RECIPE, AND I CAME HERE TO SHARE IT!

What?

“Hooray!”

I WILL BESTOW A RECIPE FOR A NUTRIENT BATTER UPON YOU. WITH ITS HELP, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PREPARE A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT DISHES.

“That’s perfect! Thank you, Mr. Emperor!”

YOU ARE WELCOME, LITTLE PONY.

“I can give you one of my favorite muffin recipes in return - marble muffins!”

SOUNDS DELICIOUS.

Okay… Pinkie Pie and the Emperor of Mankind are exchanging recipes…

“Thant’s intercultural understanding! Even delicious intercultural understanding!”

I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO GET MY LIVING BODY BACK SO THAT I CAN ACTUALLY TASTE THEM!

I…
I…
I need a drink.