At Least There's Not Seven Evil Exes
"Don't forget, my little ponies! The school dance is this Friday!" Miss Cheerilee called after her students as they filed out of the classroom after their Wednesday at school. Pipsqueak Q. Hoppentrot's heart skipped a beat. There was a particular filly he'd been hoping to ask to the dance ever since he'd heard about it two weeks ago. The problem was that whenever he tried, either somepony interrupted or he spent his attempt panicking and making random comments. Now he had a short window to ask her to the dance!
He trotted out the classroom and immediately spotted the filly in question: Scootaloo. She was a lovely orange pegasus with adorable little wings, a cute magenta mane, and fuchsia eyes that Pip could get lost in if he wasn't careful. He would know, as it had happened on three attempts at trying to ask Scootaloo to the dance. It was very embarassing. His mouth had been hanging open mid-sentence and one of those times he'd even drooled.
Now the white and grayish-brown colt was going to give it another go. He was going to march right up to Scootaloo, ask her to the dance, and she would say yes. Just as soon as his hooves got the message. Any moment now.
"Hey Pip, what's up?" Rumble trotted up next to Pipsqueak and waved a hoof in front of the colts face. Rumble was a close friend and somewhat recent transfer from Cloudsdale. He was a pegasus, like Scootaloo, but with a light gray coat and darker mane. He was also like, a million times cooler than Pipsqueak. Pip bet that Rumble wouldn't have any trouble asking Scootaloo to the dance. Not that Pip wanted him to, of course!
"I- uh... what?" Pip asked eloquently.
"I was asking what's up? You've been standing here for like, ten minutes. Everypony else left already." Rumble shot his friend a concerned look. Everypony had, indeed, left the school already. "You wanna get a snack at Sugarcube Corner?"
"Yeah, sure." Pip replied, a bit glumly. He'd missed another opportunity. His stupid legs were working fine now that he wasn't trying to ask Scootaloo. Stupid legs.
~~~
A short trot later, and Rumble and Pipsqueak were seated at a table in Sugarcube Corner with two decadent chocolate cupcakes in front of them, courtesy of Pinkie Pie, the mare working behind the counter of the bakery. Rumble was already digging in, heedless of the frosting coating forming around his mouth. Pip, however, was barely nibbling on the delicious treat.
"You okay, dude?" Rumble asked between bites. "You seem kinda down."
"Yeah." Pipsqueak replied in his Trottingham accent. "I'm just thinking about stuff."
"The dance?" Rumble asked. Say what you want about the athletic pegasus, he was a lot more observant than ponies gave him credit for. "I've seen you freeze up like five times this week. You planning on asking somepony?" It was nine times, actually, but Pip wasn't going to correct him on that.
"Yeah. I keep trying, at least. Every time I try to ask this filly though, my stomach gets all wibbly-wobbly and I can't get the words to come out right." Pip poked at the cupcake with a hoof. Going alone wouldn't be too horrible, right?
"Who is it? Can I know?" Rumble polished off the last of his cupcake.
"Um... Scootaloo, actually." Pipsqueak flushed a bright red as he timidly answered the question. "I just haven't been able to ask though. My brain goes all blank whenever I try."
"Scootaloo, huh? I wouldn't have guessed her. Silver Spoon, maybe. But Scootaloo's cool too." Rumble was now eyeing Pipsqueak's nearly untouched cupcake. "You gonna eat that?"
Pipsqueak slid the cupcake over to Rumble with a sigh. "I don't know how I'm gonna ask her. I keep trying, but then I get all nervous and I can't think. Maybe I should just ask somepony I don't get nervous around."
"Nah. You should totally ask Scootaloo. I can help you!"
"How?"
"Hmm... We'll have Scootaloo meet you somewhere nice. I'll hide nearby, and tell you what to say. With my words and your," Rumble hesitated for a moment as he thought about what Pipsqueak brought to the table, "being class president, there's no way she can say no!"
"Well, if you think it will work..." Pipsqueak answered hesitantly.
"What could possibly go wrong?" Rumble asked confidently as he polished off the second cupcake.
~~~
An hour later, Pipsqueak was waiting for Scootaloo outside of Sugarcube corner. Rumble was hidden in the bushes nearby. Pipsqueak was sure those bushes weren't there earlier though. Did somepony grow them in the time between Rumble and Pip's planning and now?
Pinkie Pie strolled into the shop, shooting a knowing wink to Pip. "Good luck, little guy!" She giggled before entering. Pip merely blushed in response.
"Rumble, are you sure this is a good idea?" Pip scuffed the ground nervously.
"Shh! I'm not here, dude!" Rumble whispered from the bushes. "Just copy whatever I say."
Before Pipsqueak could argue any further, Scootaloo rode up, parking her scooter nearby. Pip let out the tiniest squeak of fear.
"What's up, Pip?" Scootaloo greeted Pip with a smile.
"Nothing much. Just thought we could hang out." Rumble whispered, which Pip repeated in a shaky voice.
"That's cool. We haven't really hung out since the Crusaders and me helped you out with the class election. How's that going, by the way?" Scootaloo asked.
"Its good. I'm really helping out at the school." More lines from Rumble, which Pip repeated with less of a quaver in his voice.
'Maybe this will work.' Pip thought.
"Nice. Glad to hear it." Scootaloo responded genuinely. "Wanna grab some grub?"
"I'd love to. No wait! Play it cool. Just say 'sure'." Rumble quickly changed the script on Pipsqueak, who luckily caught himself before repeating everything Rumble said.
"Sure." Pipsqueak answered, doing his best to sound cool. However that was supposed to sound.
Into Sugarcube Corner the pair trotted, with Rumble watching silently from the bushes. So far so good. Rumble thought. Thankfully, Pip remembered which seat to take. The one right next to the window that Rumble hid beneath.
"So what's up? Why'd you invite me here?" Scootaloo asked once she and Pipsqueak had ordered something from Pinkie ,who had immediately dashed off to make the confections without a word.
"Oh you know. Just figured we hadn't hung out in a while." Rumble whispered, feeding lines for Pip to repeat once again.
"Yeah, that's cool. Me and the girls have been kinda busy since we got our cutie marks." Scootaloo grinned. "We've been trying to plan how to help other ponies get their cutie marks. Or understand theirs better like we did for Diamond Tiara."
"Neat. You should help me with my cutie mark sometime." Pipsqueak repeated verbatim the words from Rumble.
"Totally. You're one of the ponies we were talking about at the last club meeting." Scootaloo responded.
"Really?" Pipsqueak asked before Rumble could come up with a line.
"Yeah. You, Button Mash, Rumble. A couple others too, like Snips and Snails." Scootaloo replied.
"What did you guys say about Rumble?" Pipsqueak responded mechanically before realizing that Rumble just wanted to know about himself.
"Uh... stuff. Just random stuff. Nothing you need to worry about, Pip." Was it Pip's imagination, or was Scootaloo blushing?
"Well, you should totally tell me later. I promise not to tell Rumble or anything." Rumble said for Pip to repeat, who did so before adding "I won't?"
"Huh?" Scootaloo tilted her head a bit at Pip's question.
"I-I mean, I won't. That's a promise!" Pip backpedaled with words, reaffirming his promise not to tell Rumble.
Pinkie Pie arrived with two delicious looking pastries with lemon filling. She left the plates wordlessly (a rarity for Pinkie Pie) and slipped away. Pipsqueak could have sworn he saw another wink from the pink mare as she slipped away. Scootaloo dug in with gusto, crumbs coating her muzzle as she chewed.
"So I was thinking, Scoots." Rumble's next line for Pipsqueak started. "You and me should totally go to the dance together." Which is what Pipsqueak would have said, if he hadn't gotten nervous mid-bite and had a chunk of pastry get caught in his throat. Pip had managed to say "I was think-" followed by a series of gasping and choking noises.
Thankfully Scootaloo was quick to respond, banging on the colt's back* with a hoof until said chunk shot out of Pipsqueak's mouth.
"You okay dude?" Rumble poked his head up above the windowsill and asked Pipsqueak. Pip nodded as he caught his breath.
"What are you doing here, Rumble?" Scootaloo turned to the window and asked.
"I- uh... Abort!" Rumble yelled before bolting off down the street, leaving Pipsqueak to fend for himself.
Pip watched with a look of utter terror as his script pony bolted away and left him alone with Scootaloo. Scootaloo, meanwhile, was looking back and forth between Pipsqueak and Rumble in the distance.
"What was all that about?" She asked with a confused expression.
"Oh, um..." Pip started to reply. "I gotta go. I just remembered a thing!" Pipsqueak dove out the window with the grace of a sandbag before running off in the opposite direction Rumble went. Scootaloo stared after him, her mouth agape.
~~~
I knew that wouldn't work. Stupid Rumble and his stupid ideas. Pip was sulking at the playground at school. More specifically he was on the see-saw, which was his favorite spot in Ponyville to think. It was a very comfortable spot, too.
He'd been here since the fiasco at Sugarcube Corner. This was his little slice of safety. The spot he could always run to when he was feeling down. It was also the spot Scootaloo found him.
"Hey, Pip." Scootaloo said awkwardly as she approached. "I was meaning to talk to you about something while we were at Sugarcube Corner." Was it Pipsqueak's imagination, or was Scootaloo blushing again?
"Um. Okay." Pip responded nervously. "About what?"
"Well, uh... There's no easy way to ask this..." Scootaloo began.
"Yes?"
"But um, is uh..." Scootaloo was stumbling over her words. "I mean, do you know if Rumble is taking anypony to the dance on Friday?"
If you held a stethoscope to Pipsqueak's chest, you could have heard his heart breaking at that moment. He didn't respond. He couldn't. He didn't know what to say. It was like Pipsqueak's brain had frozen.
Scootaloo rubbed a hoof against her foreleg. "Because I was hoping the answer was no." She was blushing more. "I know you're good friends with him, so if anypony knew it'd be you."
Pipsqueak Q. Hoppentrot's heart broke more, which he didn't even think was possible at this point.
"Because Apple Bloom wanted to know." Scootaloo finished.
'Wait, what?' Pip's brain started to unfreeze slowly.
"I mean, Sweetie Belle is going with Button Mash, and Apple Bloom thought that it'd be weird if she and I went together."
Wait. What? Gears were starting to turn.
"Plus there's this other colt I was hoping to go with." Scootaloo added. "I mean, if you wanted to go with me." The filly was blushing furiously at this point.
'Oh...' Pip started to think before, 'Wait. WHAT?' Pipsqueak could have danced for joy if the synapses in his brain would start firing properly. Instead he was sitting with an idiotic look on his face.
"I'd love to!" Pip practically yelled. "I mean, sure. Yeah. Yes. Definitely yes." Pip failed at recovering to look a bit less eager.
"What about Rumble?" Scootaloo asked.
"I think he'd feel weird going with us." Pip replied, not having a clue what Scootaloo meant.
"No, I mean would he be okay with going with Apple Bloom? I really don't want her to feel left out." Scootaloo giggled a bit at Pip's slowness on the draw.
"Oh! I don't know if he's going with anypony actually. I can ask if you want." Pip blushed as Scootaloo corrected him.
"Sweet." Scootaloo replied. "Anyway, I gotta get going. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure!" Pip answered, practically floating on cloud nine. If Earth Ponies could find a way to fly, this would be it. Scootaloo gave one last wave of farewell before heading off, leaving Pipsqueak practically giddy with joy as she disappeared from sight.
Author's Note
*Note: This is not how you handle a choking person, as the force may cause the food to get lodged further. Author is well aware of this before you comment it.
