Every memory kills me. Not literally, so my annoyance, because I'm still here. They kill my soul, though. My happiness.
I always thought I would go through the same life cycle as everypony else but... I think you can see the conclusion of that. I just have a repeated part of that cycle. Living.
I've tried so many times to stop it- Spells, potions, enchantments. I mean, I have a scar on my chest from when I got to fustrated with my research results on the topic, I lost all hope, and just, well, stabbed myself. It was a stupid idea. Nothing ever seems to pay off. I'm still here. I'm still alive.
Sometimes I try not to think about it, but how easy is it to forget your own immortality? How easy is it to forget your best friends, and all the memories of them? How easy is it to forget that the ponies who made you who you are at this moment in time are dead?
I've never heard anypony have an honest answer, not even Celestia.
Because you can't.
Every memory stays in your brain, each one of them as vivid as the next.
I resent Celestia now. She cursed me to this fateful life, and I hate her for that. She thought it was the best for me, but in reality, she was doing it for her subjects across Equestria. They were fed up with Cadence, and Celestia needed something new to entertain the ponies. Something to fill their needs.
Everytime I sleep, I have some sort of memory float back to my dreams. The time Rainbow Dash did a Sonic Rainboom at the Best Young Flyers Compitition is a common one. Whenever I see it, I can always still feel the sensation of adrenaline tingling through every inch of my body. I can still hear the sharp squeals of excitement in my ear from Fluttershy. Many others reeled in my brain too. Every one replaying in my mind. Perfect. Untouched.
Normal ponies I come across in my life have told me how they yearn for my immortality, for a life with no end.
Boy, wouldn't they get a shock if they actually became immortal. It's a never ending hole of emotional pain. And I just so happen to be in that hole.
Maybe I'll get used to it in the future. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll live till oblivion.
I will keep searching for a way to be free from this curse, I will find a cure.
I'll find you.
