It was a beautiful day in Equestria. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. And on days like these, KIDS LIKE YOU-
Take 2
It was a beautiful day in Equestria. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. Everything was peaceful because that guy, Tirek, was defeated. But suddenly, out of hyperspace, a GIANT FLYING COLD DILDO reigned over the sky of Ponyville. As ponies ran in panic, Darth Vader sat in the bridge of his new Star destroyer- the D1-LD0. For some reason, it was shaped like a dick, but you know. That's how things worked. Next to him stood a hip as fuck Snoop Dogg and that guy who was on the news who shouted fuck her in the pu$$y for some reason.
"So, since we arrived to this dank ass joint, what do we do here nigga?" Snoop asked Vader, who was still pondering why he brought a rapper along.
"We should FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PU$$Y!!" said mustache guy. Vader looked outside of the window, trying to find him... the one and only Ackbar... but he wasn't running.
"Bring me the Doctor. Also, bring the whip with you." He said to a soldier who was standing around to increase the plot development. He then brought DR. FARNSWORTH from futurama with him, and then did a whip.
"Damn nigga, that was a dank ass whip." Snoop said, but Darth Vader just facepalmed.
"I meant an actual whip, damnit." Darth said, so a whip magically appeared to move the fucking plot along. "Now, Farnsworth, tell me where Admiral Ackbar is." He said, holding the whip tightly in his hand.
"Hell no, you old coot!" Farnsworth shouted. Torture that I can't put here unless I want this fic rated M ensued. Eventually, Farnsworth did tell where Ackbar was.
"Snoop, take Leeroy Jenkins with you and go to the dankest cave in equestria. Appaently, it has a hippie who smells of too much weed is there. That hippie is Ackbar." Darth said to Snoop, who was currently smoking weed.
"Nigga, I heard Farnsworth. I'll just go get Leeroy and get outta this fucking horny ass ship." He said, as he just went through the floor as if this was all roleplayed in gmod before.
Fluttershy sat next to her new friend Admiral Ackbar while taking a break during their hike in the hall of dankness. Ackbar smoked an incredibly large toke of weed.
"SO Fluttershy, those cold dildos, can I have them?" He asked, his eyes red as fuck. She started to blush and whimper nervously.
"Uhhhh... you can have some?" She struggled to get the words out. Ackbar smiled.
"Cool, you up for a threesome with Rainbow Rash tonight?" Before the author could fucking correct Rainbow Dash's name and before Fluttershy could respond to Ackbar, they felt massive fucking shaking.
"What the fuck was that?" Ackbar asked, looking out the conveniently placed window above him. All he saw was Thorax fucking around with Opalescence. That was Rarity's bird, right? Anyways, Ackbar looked out the OTHER conveniently placed window that was above Fluttershy and saw a giant cold dildo that was crashing down upon Twilight's castle.
"Oh no, the Dank lord, I mean the Dark lord Vader has come for me." Ackbar said. Fluttershy gasped.
"Who?" She responded to him.
"Dark Vader. He's some black guy in a some suit or something." Ackbar said. Fluttershy fainted at the mention of a black guy. "Wow, way to go you fucking racist. Fluttershy, why u so racist?" Ackbar asked.
"I'm not racist, I just forgot that I have asthma." She said, getting up and using the inhaler that magically appeared.
"We finally found you nigga." Said a voice from behind. Ackbar looked back to see... SNOOP FUCKING DAWG?!? With Leeroy Jenkins. SNOOP held a gun in his hand. "Don't worry Ackbar, I'm not Snoop. Leeroy Jenkins behind me is Snoop." He said as Leeroy Jenkins ripped his head off, revealing the actual Snoop. Then the supposed fake Snoop ripped off his head, showing that he was actually LEEROOOOOY JENKINS!!!!"
"We have to leave this dank ass cave" real Snoop began, "because a legendary being lived here. We shouldn't no disturb them nigga." Immediately, THOMAS THE FUCKING TANK ENGINE APPEARED behind them and butt raped Ackbar.
"NIGGA, TAKE THESE!!!" Snoop said, throwing the chaos emeralds and dragon balls and human souls and cold dildos, which Ackbar grabbed as his butt was being absolutely destroyed by Thomas the Tank Engine. He then absorbed the power in all of these items, and became surrounded in a huge mecha dildo.
"Say hello to my new mech- GURREN LAGAAN!!! This dick will be the dick to pierce your asshole!!" Ackbar said as he absolutely destroyed Thomas the Tank engine. Snoop looked to Ackbar, and put his gun in his pocket.
"Gurren Lagaan is copyrighted, nigga. Come up with an original-ass name." Ackbar shrugged in his mecha dildo.
"I'll call it cockbite then." He said with no effort at all. He then looked to Fluttershy, who grabbed one of his cold dildos and was about to use it. He then used the dildo magnet on Cockbite to grab the dildo out of her hooves, to her displeasure.
"We will use these dildos for sex later!! But for right now..." Ackbar looked to the D1-LD0. It started shooting ponies with white liquiud, and they each turned to ice as the liquiud hit them. "We need to stop Dank Vader and save the universe!!" He said while grabbing a blunt and lighting it.
"Hand me a blunt nigga." Snoop said, Ackbar complying and throwing a blunt his way. They immediately started smoking as Leeroy Jenkins looked to the entrance of the cave. He grabbed the hilt of his sword and had a glint of hope in his eye.
"Alright chumps, let's do this!" He said, Snoop pulling out his gun and Fluttershy going into the Cockbite. They immediately ran out, with Leeroy leading them. The D1-LD0 pointed itself towards them, its front gun about to shoot more of the freezing white liquid.
"Leeroy....!!!!" The Cockbite jumped and grabbed Snoop and Leeroy, activating its dick cannon. "JENKINS!!!!!!!!!!!" Leeroy shouted as he fused his power with the Cockbite. The Cockbite then shot a huge toke of weed that hit the D1-LD0. It then exited the atmosphere with Darth Vader shouting.
"DAMN YOU ACKBAR!!!!! I'M BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAIN!!" Then the D1-LD0 exploded, leaving the fate of Farnsworth and Vader ambiguous.
With that, Equestria had been saved once more by Ackbar, Snoop Dogg, Leeroy Jenkins, and Fluttershy. Then everyone had a massive orgy.
Author's Note
Yet another victory for me
