How To Break The Universe In 8 Easy Steps

by R3D4K73D

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Random, Slice of Life, Second Person, Science Fiction, Comedy
Length: 506

When you are a student in Prof. Discord's class, you are going to come across some paradoxes; this is one of them.

When you are a student in Prof. Discord's class, you are going to come across some paradoxes; this is one of them.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-26 02:56:00 UTC

R3D4K73D's Half

You go to Canterlot High School, or CHS if you would prefer, home of the Wondercolts and the site of several transdimensional anomalies since last year in which not only did the graduate Sunset Shimmer turned into a mind-controlling, she-demon at the Fall Formal, nor was it coupled with power-hungry sirens during the Battle of the Bands, but also that rifts were actively torn between our dimension and the aforementioned others' dimension by none other than our world's version of the one who helped defeat the other two. That being said, you suppose it is why you chose to take Adv. Quantum Physics this year.

The Class is taught by none other than the reknowned Prof. C. I. Discord infamous for his unorthodox teaching methods and his tendency to make nigh impossible tests which often involved strange lateral thinking or insane troll logic, hence he was quickly dubbed "Chaos Incarnate" as a play on his initials.

Nevertheless, you enjoyed the challenges you faced in this class as it was so different from the standard monotony of the rest of your school schedule. This week in particular was especially intriguing as you were learning about paradoxes.

You walk into the classroom and notice the writing on the chalkboard:

HOW TO BREAK THE UNIVERSE IN 8 EASY STEPS

Interestingly enough, this causes you to do a double take to confirm that what you see on the board is, in fact, there.

Eventually, you make it to your seat and sit down.

There weren't many students in the class, so, as usual, you weren't surprised to see that -including yourself- five of the seven students were already here. (Perhaps the other two had caught a cold or something.) What had surprised you was the fact that Prof. Discord wasn't in the room; he wasn't even sleeping in his desk chair like he usually does.

You don't have much time to dwell on your thoughts before the bell rings, signalling that class has started.

For the most part, you and the other students wait, staring with anticipation at either the board or the door, though there is at least one student smart enough to watch the windows.

Five minutes pass by, and our professor hasn't shown up yet.

You start getting bored and decide to drum out a tune that has been stuck in your head onto the desk.

The door opens up and you stop, deciding to pay attention to whoever walks through.

"..."

You stare at the horrifying visage of your professor dressed up as a disco queen... He even wore a tiara themed comb in the humongous afro that he sported.

"..."

Now, you know you heard rumors before that he dressed up in different costumes from time to time, but you thought that those were really just rumors.

"HAPPY HEARTH'S WARMING EVERYBODY!!!" he yelled, startling the class while completely disregarding the fact that it's the middle of spring, "Today we're taking a crash course on this topic, so keep up if you can!"