Mane May stretched, her mane flying out in a tangled mess. The sunlight streaming through her window was a clear sign she should be getting up. Yawning and opening the door, she almost bumped into Starlight. "Good morning." She stood back to let the unicorn go first. "One of those days?"

"Mmm hrmm." Starlight Glimmer shuffled down the hall, unlike Mane, she hadn't found a thing she was good at, apart from manipulating ponies with magic.

Walking into the kitchen of the shared house, Mane closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Bell peppers and eggs." Her mane suddenly became a frenzy of motion, opening the refrigerator and getting the eggs and peppers out. As she stepped a little closer, she lifted out the jug of apple juice she had filled the previous day. Pouring two glasses, she was already mixing the eggs and the finely chopped peppers, stopping a moment and grabbing a pair of mushrooms to throw in as well. Whisking the eggs, she had things well in hoof by the time Starlight came out.

"Ooh, what's that?" Starlight perked up, the drowsiness of the morning fading as she trotted over to the stove, not fearing the other mare's tentacles in the slightest. "That smells delicious!"

Mane had promised herself she would dump the megalomania when she moved out of Twilight's castle, and she had, but she still had pride. "Thanks, I thought some mushrooms would give a nice foundation to the peppers." The pan hissed and sizzled as the big pile of scrambled eggs cooked. "Some juice for you on the table."

Starlight turned and levitated the glass over, sipping it. "These from the farm?" Mane nodded. "You are spoiling me… I'm just a useless unicorn that nopony-" She would have finished her self-defeating speech but a tentacle of mane had shoved in her mouth.

"You are not, you are an amazing magic user, you almost beat a princess, from what I heard." Mane pulled her gag from Starlight's snout. "And besides, you are my friend!"

The word was the single thing that filled Starlight with more hope than anything else. "I know…" The tentacle threatened her again and she laughed, lifting a hoof up to protect her snout. "I just… nothing seems to cl-"

This time the unicorn was interrupted by a knock at the door. When she trotted across the room and opened it, a pegasus wearing a mail-mare uniform smiled. "Letter for Starlight Glimmer!" She passed a letter to Starlight, who thanked her.

"Who is it from?" Mane called as the unicorn closed the door behind her.

"Princess Celestia…" Starlight almost dropped the letter, her horn fizzing a little shower of sparks. She shook just looking at the name on it.

"Well, open it!" Mane set their two plates of food on the table, taking a seat herself Starlight opened the letter.

Dear Starlight Glimmer. I haven't heard from you in a while, and thought I would pay you a visit to see how your new life is progressing. There is no pressure, but I will be in to visit on Wednesday night. Princess Celestia.

"What… what day is it?" Starlight's face was almost pure white, she had the worst feeling.

Mane gulped down her mouthful of food. "Wednesday." The last bit of color left the unicorn and she seemed to shrink into her chair. "What's wrong?"

"Princess Celestia… coming here… dinner…" Starlight couldn't sink down any lower without ending up on the floor. "What am I going to do?"

"We." Mane May reached a tentacle over to help the unicorn sit back up. "What are 'we' going to do, and the answer is we are going to have the best night ever. We need to get some supplies… I will ask Applejack if I can have the day off."

"B-B-But… Celestia… here…" Starlight was mortified and nothing seemed like it would get through to her. When she opened her mouth to utter another worried stutter, a spoon shoved some food in her mouth. Silently she chewed, blinking a few times before she realized it was Mane feeding her. She blushed a little and lifted the spoon up with her magic.

"I will visit the Cakes, I happen to know that a particular white alicorn really likes a very specific desert. You go to the market and let Applejack know what is happening, okay?" Mane watched the mare calm down, now that she had something to do.

Starlight Glimmer finished eating, listening to Mane as the earth pony scribbled down a list. "And that's all?" Starlight looked at the three pages of things. "Kidding! Let me get this together and we can defeat anything!"

Mane poked Starlight on the nose. "No, we don't defeat princesses, remember?"

"We enslave them with dark magics?" Starlight was grinning wide now, their little game occupying her enough that there was no room for panic.

"Maybe a little, but what is the key fact about any villain?" Mane collected their plates with her mane.

Together, they lifted their voices. "The villain has to lose!"

Starlight saw an unfamiliar pony trotting across the town square. "This is the day, Starlight, a new pony in town and I need to meet new ponies." Before she realized it her hooves had taken her across and just before the other pony. "Hi! I'm Starglim Lighter… I mean, Starlight Glimmer!"

"You are speaking to the Tense and Overworked Trixie." Trixie stopped to regard the unicorn. "Trixie's last visit to Ponyville was a little… tense, she doesn't remember seeing you."

The manner of speech the mare affected made Starlight blink a few times before she got the gist of it. "Oh no, I am recently moved in too. I hadn't seen Trixie… you, before and I thought I would say hi." She almost face-hoofed when she began to stumble into Trixie's manner of speech.

Trixie grinned, loving when a new pony was confused by her mannerisms. "The Intrigued and Curious Trixie humbly extends an invitation, to the day spa. She was just on her way there to relax before her big show tonight."

"Big show?" Starlight couldn't help herself. The list was forgotten as she started trotting along with Trixie. "Are you a singer?"

"Oh no, the Clever and Artistic Trixie is a stage performer, particularly with amazing magic." Trixie gave a little demonstration, flaring up some fireworks.

"Starlight!" Applejack interrupted the pair. "Starlight, have you seen Mane today?" The farmer only then spotted Trixie and took a deep breath, biting down her initial reaction. "Hi there, Trixie."

"Oh, oh!" Starlight began to hop from hoof to hoof. "Princess Celestia is coming to town this evening and Mane was going to put on a special meal for-"

Applejack lifted a hoof to Starlight's shoulder. "Calm down, sugar-cube. That is perfectly understandable. If'n I don't see her, tell her AJ said 'hi'." The orange earth pony had a grin from ear to ear. If there was one secret she didn't mind holding on to, it was this one.

"I… will…" There was a touch of confusion in Starlight's look that made Applejack laugh. After all, it wasn't a lie, and the only ponies the secret mattered to was the Princess, Applejack, and their foal. "Uh, I am going to go, with Trixie, to the day spa. If you see Mane, could you let her know?"

"A'course I will." Applejack tilted her hat and turned. "Just don't spend too long in the steam room, or yer horn will droop!"

Starlight blinked at the comment and fell in with Trixie again. "So what kind of magic show are you doing?"

"The Apologetic and Repentant Stage Show… it's a working title… is all about grand displays of magic…" Trixie gave a sigh. "I just wish I was as good as Twilight with magic, it took a soul-sucking amulet to even bring me close."

"Soul suck… wait a second…" Starlight lifted a hoof up. "Clop my hoof if you tried to defeat Twilight and her friends." She was startled when there was two clops against her hoof. "Welcome to the club."

"What did you do to her?" Trixie's ears were perked up and she felt lighter than she ever had before in her life.

"Brainwashed a town, Twilight and her friends turned up, I stole their cutie marks and tried to brainwash them, too." Starlight gave a nervous giggle, but when Trixie grinned wide she turned the giggle into a laugh.

"Stole their cutie marks? Trixie would have loved to have seen that, anything else?" Trixie had a bounce in her step, talking with this mare was now infinitely more interesting than relaxing at the spa. Then it dawned on the blue unicorn, she could do both!

"Ripped apart time to try to make her and her friends never get together in the first place." Starlight suddenly felt very talkative, Trixie didn't stare at her with the frown most ponies got when she described what she did. It was more like… like Mane!

Trixie's mouth hung open. "Ripped… did it work?"

"A few times, the problem was, each time it happened it made the whole world worse. She showed me, one pony really can make a difference." Starlight pushed the door of the spa open, just in time to see a diamond dog, a pure white and very fluffy one, slip a cloak over itself. "What-"

Just as quick as she got a glimpse of them, the canine tried to make a run for it.

Rarity tripped on a chair and fell flat on her face. Or, she would have, if she wasn't grabbed in a firm grip by two different unicorns. "You fell, are you okay?" Starlight lifted the white dog up and set them back on their feet. "Lotus, please, check them for injuries!"

Lotus was startled, she had been trying to spirit her mistress out in the usual fashion. "I…" She moved forward and leaned in to Rarity. "Miz Rrarity, arre okay?"

"Rarity?" Trixie's ears pricked forward in surprise. "Rarity? The Rarity? What happened?"

Rarity sighed and threw back the hood, revealing her pristine coat. "Far too much to explain in the entry to the spa." She let out a sigh.

"Well, join Trixie and her new friend."

"Yeah, come and tell us what did this to you. Can we help undo it?" Starlight watched as one of the diamond dog's paws suddenly flew down to their belly.

"No! I mean, no, darlings… Lotus, I guess I will have whatever they are having." Rarity was resigned, she had been keeping it all a careful secret from the town, but now two former enemies knew, it would be all over Equestria by morning.

Lotus smiled and led the way. Rarity found herself on her back, her claws being tended to by a clever stallion. "So, how did it happen?" Starlight sounded genuinely intrigued. "And I meant it, if we can help, I am sure the Astounding and Clever Trixie will assist as well."

"I guess it started with a little greed, on my part." Rarity closed her eyes, luxuriating in having a pony tend to her. "I made a deal with a diamond dog, that I would find the gems, he would dig them up, and together we would split them."

"That sounds reasonable to Trixie." The unicorn relaxed, the world going dark as two slices of something were placed over her eyes, soon to be followed by special mud on her face.

"It was reasonable, but there was a problem." Rarity noticed the stallion left her nails sharp, if shorter. She thought about it a moment and decided it wouldn't hurt. "Apparently he had a thing for me."

"Oh?" Starlight was laying with her head over a basin, her mane being washed carefully. "Was he improper?"

"You could say that…" Rarity took a deep breath. "He… well, as it happens, there are no female diamond dogs." The two other mares started to talk at the same time but Rarity kept going, over the top of them. "Let me finish, there are no female diamond dogs, but when a male gets a pony pregnant, they turn into one, at least until the pups are weaned… or so he said."

Two unicorns stared at Rarity with shock. "The Fiery and Vengeful show must be postponed, Trixie has a diamond dog to ignite."

"The Princess will have to wait, too. Trixie, let's go and see how far I can teleport a burning diamond dog." Starlight felt a paw pressing down on her, holding her on the table.

"Stop, no." Rarity took a deep breath. "Besides, you are both second in line, Prince Gel already had a talking to him."

Starlight blanched, thinking of all the things Gel would be able to do. "He got what was coming to him, then. Can he still walk?"

"Prince Gel," Rarity had trouble thinking of the stallion without his title, after what he had done for her, "made sure he would not be hanging around Equestria anymore. I think there was a warning about removing things if he ever went near a mare again."

Trixie clopped her hooves. "This 'prince', Trixie likes him. Was he an enemy of Princess Twilight's too?"

"He tried to kill her." Rarity disliked the word, but it was true. "But she showed him more friendship than he could handle, broke him of the terrible Chrysalis' mind game." It really was as close to a fairy tale as you could get, Rarity realized, complete with almost-tragedy. "Now, they are wed."

Trixie shot up off the table, the slices flying from her green-covered face. "Princess Twilight is married?"

Author's Note

"Oh, ho ho ho ho." -Kodachi of the Black Rose

I really couldn't resist, and having this happen without Twilight there to put her hoof in everything makes the episode a lot more interesting.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
Canary in the coal mine
Daremo
Mary Rowland
Boulder