Are We Having Fun Yet?

by KidatHeart5

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Screwball, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Drama, Original Character, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 2428

When Discord invites his brothers-in-law on a camping trip, drama and hilarity follow. Multi-crossover with Samurai Jack, Star Wars Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and Gravity Falls

Multi-crossover. Discord decides to hold a camp-out for his brothers-in-law so he could spend some quality time with them. Hilarity and drama ensues when the five brothers-in-law, the former Grand Inquisitor, and Garazeb Orrelios tough it out in the wilderness.
Features Aku (Samurai Jack), Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls), Jar Jar Binks (Star Wars: The Clone Wars), Kaa (The Jungle Book), Randall Boggs (Monsters, Inc.), and General Grievous (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

Published 2016-03-21 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-21 21:00:01 UTC

Prologue: The History of the Castle Clan

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Rosella Castle. She was a powerful witch, loved and feared by all. She did many great deeds, both wonderful and terrible. Although she was a gentle and moral woman, she married many husbands out of love and sometimes acted on her rage. The tears that sparked her interest in most of her husbands also fueled her powers. She always claimed that emotional tears were a powerful commodity. Although she used one such tear to create a clone-daughter through pregnancy, it was not so for most of the clone-children she produced, especially the first five.

When Rosie gave birth to the first five daughters who were biologically hers alone, she did not use any tears. Among her daughters were Katrina – the eldest – and Patricia – the second-born. So it was that when Rosie first saw Kaa the python cry, she gave Katrina to be his wife. Needless to say, Katie was displeased with this. However, she saw it as an opportunity to keep Kaa from preying on others, so as long as she fed him, it became a marriage of convenience.

Sometime later, a virus had turned Katie into a monster. Kaa, desperate to cover up the truth, told Rosie that Katie had died of jungle fever. Years later, though, Katrina was discovered alive. When she was transformed back to her original self, she reunited with her family and reconciled with Kaa.

With Patricia, she was given to Jar Jar Binks as his wife. Though initially uncomfortable with his naïve and clumsy nature, Patty soon learned to overlook that and fell for the Gungan who had a golden heart. They had six children together and lived contently…for the most part. People jeered at Jar Jar for who he was, so Patricia took him and the children to Bardotta and transformed herself into Queen Julia, a role she had portrayed for the filming of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

One of Rosie’s husbands – General Grievous – had been raised from the dead, thanks to Rosie. He tried to adjust to his new lifestyle, but found he did not fit in well. When Star Wars: The Clone Wars was filming in Los Angeles, he was needed there. His welcome on the set was far from pleasant. Most of the cast and crew scorned Grievous until they found that he had changed…to an extent. When he was chosen as writer and director for Season Four, his chance to shine came. Surely enough, he became a respected member of the Star Wars family and a well-known celebrity in all of Hollywood.

Even after TCW ended, Grievous was asked to do Star Wars Rebels. As with TCW, he created characters that mirrored him and his wife. These were none other than the Grand Inquisitor and Garazeb Orrelios. When his death episode was nearing, the Grand Inquisitor requested that he would outlive the episode even after it aired. This was for two reasons: he was to pen the book Dark Disciple, and he was madly in love with Grievous’s daughter, Diamond. Diamond’s birth was unusual, as were the births of the children of Rosie’s husbands as well as Garnet, the next clone-daughter of Rosie.

Rosie married numerous times, but only a select group of her husbands lived with her at a time. Often, several of these husbands would embark on countless adventures with her. It was on one such adventure that sixteen of them and Rosie had to consume gemstones associated with them. Thus, the gems impregnated each of them and became their children. Since the children of Rosie’s husbands only belonged to their fathers, Rosie referred to them as her stepchildren.

As implied by her name, Diamond was conceived from the diamond Grievous ingested. When he gave birth to her, she was like a carbon copy of her father, with the exception of the whitish eyes meant to reflect the diamond from which she came. As with almost every child of Rosie and/or her husbands, she grew to adulthood within a year. When she met the Inquisitor, she was intrigued by him. What probably drew her to him was that he shared traits with her father, who created him. Before she knew it, she fell in love with him. To her surprise, her love was reciprocated.

After months of falling in love with the general’s daughter, the Inquisitor desired to prove his worth to her. He asked Grievous to make him a good guy, and so his wish was granted. Although surprised by his change of character, Diamond still loved him as Grand, a name he chose to go by instead of “Inquisitor”. They eventually married and lived a quiet life in San Francisco.

Garnet, the daughter conceived by Rosie’s garnet, was an intense version of her mother. Her red hair and eyes matched her indomitable spirit and strong courage. She took on the job of mercenary to make ends meet. Through this lifestyle, she became a legend among the people as both someone feared and respected. Then, on one fateful night, she was sent to thwart a demon overlord’s plan to absorb power from the supermoon. They fought until she was defeated and brought back to his fortress.

Aku, the demon overlord who bested her, took an interest in her because of her reputation for two things: her mercenary jobs and being Rosella’s daughter. He knew that the Castles were a powerful and massive clan that spanned across the globe – even dimensions - and had considerable influence. He also knew that a daughter purely of Rosella’s blood would surely prove to be powerful. By exploiting her need to protect her family, Aku blackmailed her into becoming his queen. But even though they irritated each other, they fell in love. Soon, they married before an audience in Greece with Rosie presiding over the ceremony.

Garnet certainly wasn’t the last clone-daughter Rosie had. When Rosie saw Discord, the Master of Chaos, nearly cry, she decided he needed a wife. While they traveled together in Wonderland, she took some of his tears. When they met in Canterlot that night, Discord and Rosie agreed that he would have a wife of her blood. Using one of Discord’s tears to create his dream girl, Rosie conceived and gave birth to her daughter Teardrop. However, there was a problem: since Discord’s tears were of Equestrian origin, Teardrop was half-pony, half-human. Much like the curse that had plagued Princess Fiona, Rosie’s daughter was human by day and alicorn by night.

Discord was involved in almost every aspect of her life. Like Diamond and most of Rosie’s other children, Teardrop grew up almost rapidly. Unfortunately, she fell under a sleeping curse when she was young. Thus, she had experienced a majority of her life in a dream-world. Rosie made it so others who interacted with her in the dream-world would remember all they “did” with her when she woke up. When Teardrop arose on the summer solstice, she was 19 years old.

Shortly afterwards, she was taken to Equestria by a gypsy boy who had memories of her from the dream-world. Jaxien, the boy, was smitten with her and so proposed to her. Discord, disheartened by this, had a falling-out with Teardrop that night. Jaxien’s family wanted to get rid of any potential rivals of Jaxien’s, so they plotted to petrify Discord with a magic dart at sunrise. To their horror, Teardrop took the blow and turned to stone on the spot. When Discord tearfully proclaimed his love for her, both the petrifaction spell and her curse were immediately broken.

Despite this, though, Teardrop was only a pony in Equestria and a human in her home dimension. Soon after the curse was broken, Teardrop trained under the princesses to become one herself. Discord was initially displeased with this, but when he thought of the advantages of marrying a princess, how could he say no? However, he loved her despite whatever class she became. On the first anniversary Teardrop’s curse broke, she and Discord married in Canterlot.

Soon after Teardrop got married, Rosie was hit with a surprise pregnancy – with quintuplets! While watching “Beetlejuice”, the forces of various netherworlds impregnated her during the séance scene. From that moment on, the quints would have powers over supernatural forces and ties with them. It wasn’t the only surprise Rosie got. Along with clone-daughters, she had clone-sons! Parris and Proctor made history by being the only boys born only from Rose herself. Their sisters were Rashida, Juno, and Genesis.

As proof they were conceived unnaturally, the quints mirrored their mother’s emotions in both color and disposition. Genesis had blonde hair as a result of reflecting Rosie’s joy; Juno had blue hair from mirroring her mom’s sadness; Rashida had green eyes that reflected Rosie’s disgust; Proctor had red hair because he took after some of his mom’s anger; and Parris got his timid disposition from his mother’s fear. The quintuplets intrigued the Gravepainters, so the couple decided to make two of the quints spouses for their twins. Upon the birth of the quints, La Muerte and Xibalba chose Proctor and Rashida to be their twins’ betrotheds.

The quints grew at a normal rate until they were almost five months old. At that time, Parris, Genesis, and Juno each had both wrists marked with a black triangle with an oval in the middle. This was the mark of Bill Cipher. He knew his Weirdmageddon was coming to an end, so to ensure that he would not die off completely, Bill marked three of the quints to use their potent magic to sustain him. As a result, all of the quints grew a year per two weeks until they reached 18.

As for Bill, when he reached the underworld, he was told by Axolotl that he’d have to marry one of Rosie’s daughters in order to return to the physical world. Rosie was one step ahead of Bill, however. She knew he would try to return, so she cast a spell for him to regain physical form only when he obtained true love’s kiss.

When the quints turned 18, Bill had gained enough power to overpower his opponents in the underworld. He and Axolotl sent minions out to abduct Juno and make her Bill’s bride. Her four siblings fought with Bill and the Army of the Dead, but it was the resolve of Genesis that caught his attention. In exchange for Juno’s freedom, Genesis agreed to remain in the underworld with him. Bill attempted to woo and charm her into giving him true love’s kiss, but since he could not feel love himself, his attempts always failed. Then, on one magical night, Genesis showed him what love really meant. It was on that night that Bill was starting to feel affection for her.

However, he did not change his insensitive ways. When Genesis called him out, he sent her back to her family. Soon, the two of them started to miss each other. Bill, wanting to be rid of his new heartache, turned to Axolotl, who suggested merging with a creature of darkness to gain physical form. When the new Bill monster terrorized the citizens, many members of the Castle family fought valiantly, but none more so than Genesis. Desperate to protect her loved ones, she sacrificed herself by being in Bill’s line of fire.

Horrified by what he had done, Bill transferred his consciousness into Genesis and discarded his monstrous body, which then turned to stone and crumbled. When he found her fading consciousness, he pleaded for her to stay alive and even offered to sacrifice himself to save her. Genesis then gave him a kiss, explaining that it was true love that Bill wanted to give up everything for her. Bill then emerged from Genesis’s mouth in a stream of light, fully physical. To his delight, Genesis had revived. In January, they got married and moved to the Bermuda Triangle.

Garazeb Orrelios had his future thrust upon him. On the Fourth of July, he became pregnant via the Living Force. Ashamed of his pregnancy, Zeb chose to stay out of the public eye and raise his child in private. However, he alienated himself from his friends in the process. During a Halloween party, Rosie and some of her fully-grown children visited the cast and crew of Star Wars Rebels. Juno found Zeb outside alone and befriended him.

When she got abducted, he went down to the underworld with her siblings to rescue her. Juno was then released in exchange for Genesis, a deal which upset Juno deeply. Just as she had helped him, Zeb helped her get through her grief. From their strong friendship grew the bonds of love. Before Zeb gave birth, they agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. When Zeb’s daughter Ashla was born, Juno moved in with him to help him raise his baby girl.

Most of Rosie’s clone-children were genetically altered to have 20/20 vision and not have as many faults as their mother did. However, there was one gene that managed to slip into the younger children, both her children alone and the ones she shared with her husbands. Mind over Body Disorder was a condition best described as epilepsy, asthma, and anxiety rolled into one. Whenever a person got anxious or a certain thought disturbed them, their nervous system would glitch. These flare-ups ranged from mild to severe. Sometimes, the victim would have a coughing fit and be crippled. In severe cases, though, he or she would have a seizure and writhe in pain. M.O.B. had been known to cause lapses - momentary episodes of unconsciousness - and death by grief.

Rosie had the ability to come back from the dead time and time again, but it eventually took a toll on her body. She developed M.O.B. as a result of her countless deaths. Many of her children – including Garnet, Teardrop, Juno, and Genesis – inherited the disorder from their mother. Though these kids did exhibit symptoms of M.O.B., Rosie herself experienced it worse than they did. Both Rosie’s husbands and her sons-in-law managed to stick it out for their wives whenever their M.O.B. would cripple them for a time.

Sometimes, Rosie’s sons-in-law would have a video chat to talk about their lives. They did this to follow the example of their stepfathers-in-law. Some of their video chats involved one or few of Rosie’s husbands. One such video chat, however, would set them on a surprising path.