//-------------------------------------------------------//
                     Spark of Humanity                     
                     -by StarChaser01-                     
//-------------------------------------------------------//
//-------------------------------------------------------//
                   Prologue: Still Alive                   
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Author's Note
Well! Time for another story! I know, I know! I haven't updated my other stories for... quite some time now. Blame my muse. If it doesn't want to work on a story I CAN'T work on a story.
Anywho, questions, comments, concerns, etc. go into the comment section!
Prologue: Still Alive
Equestria, a magical land of Ponies, Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Zebras, Changelings, and a whole host of other exotic creatures. But deep within the barren expanse of the Badlands there lies a strange temple. One that was only recently discovered as a result of an expedition to find the hive of the traitor Chrysalis. A strange construct of metal and stone, peaking out of the side of a small mountain.
When it was determined not to be the location of the hive, the explorers continued on, but not before noting its location for future expeditions on a map, taking note of the large door made of an unknown metal.
It was not until a few years later that an expedition was made to this site, and once again, Equestria was changed forever.
START REPORT. Date: MARCH 15, 37<TIME STAMP ERROR>73. Diagnosis: MINOR DECAY detected in TERTIARY PROCESSOR BANKS. MINOR VIBRATION detected in TURBINES 1, 3, and 7. DUST has accumulated in the FOOD COURT. Errors detected in SECONDARY DIAGNOSIS SUBSYSTEM. END REPORT.
The recipient of this spent a picosecond looking the report over, before activating the maintenance bots in the tertiary processor banks and the ones assigned to turbines 1, 3, and 7. After another few picoseconds of consideration, decided against activating the sweepers in the food court. No one was using it anyway, and it wouldn’t really start to bug him for a while yet. Why waste power on something that doesn’t matter yet?
Turning his attention toward the security feeds, a flicker of amusement trickled through him as he watched the slow moving, egg shaped maintenance bots open up and a multitude of small tools folded out, getting to work replacing the decaying circuitry with freshly made ones. Shifting his focus to the turbines, he closed the valves leading to turbine 1, letting it spin down for maintenance.
Mentally frowning as the power output dropped, he none the less understood that if even one of the turbines came loose, it could easily create a domino effect as the shrapnel from the destroyed blade could theoretically pierce the casing, entering one of its neighbors, shredding that one, and so on. It had happened once before, although thankfully only turbines 4 and 5 were damaged.
Turning his attention away from the deconstruction and reconstruction of the turbine’s bearings, he began cycling through other security feeds, until reaching one that wasn’t transmitting.
Sadness filled his being as he recalled how this was the one area of his home that he couldn’t reach. The entrance, and exit for this silent technological tomb.
Turning his attention over to the garden, he activated the gardener bot, to make sure that the tombstone was clean. It wouldn’t do to have his father’s grave become dirty now would it?
Looking through the eyes of the slender caretaker, he slowly rolled it along the path in the small field of flowers surrounding the etched titanium-alloy plate, gently watering them with the precise amount of water as it went.
Upon reaching the plate, he had the gardener’s arm extend and trace what was written there, before having it turn around and return to its spot next to the door.
‘I won’t forget my promise to you father,’ he thought to himself as he returned to his vigil over the facility ‘I won’t ever forget it…’

//-------------------------------------------------------//
  Chapter 1: Where We're Going We Don't Need Startup-Lag!  
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 1: Where We're Going We Don't Need Startup-Lag!
He had been in the middle of beating himself in a game of modified 3D chess (he was quite proud of the design what with doubling the number of unique pieces and adding a whole new direction of play, not to mention that he had almost finished making it completely fair for both players) when an alarm went off.
Quickly saving the current configuration of the game, he diverted his full attention to the diagnosis for information.
START REPORT. Date: FEBUARY 10, 37<TIME STAMP ERROR>76. Diagnosis: UNKNOWN DISTURBANCE detected in ENTRANCE. Errors detected in SECONDARY DIAGNOSIS SUBSYSTEM. END REPORT.
The entrance? That was where his presence was severely limited. Deciding to see for himself, he switched the diagnosis systems over to automatic and fed the data streams from what few sensors in the entrance that still functioned to his primary cores.
Visual 1: Offline
Audio 1: Offline
Vibration 1: Offline
Visual 2: Offline
Audio 2: Offline
Vibration 2: Offline
Visual 3: Online
Audio 3: Offline
Vibration 3: Offline
Door State: Online
Lights: Offline
PA System: Offline
Discarding all the dead data feeds, he focused on Visual 3 and Door State to try and get an idea of what was happening.
The video feed was filled with feedback-induced-static. Compensating for the feedback, he managed to make out the vague shapes of an old-broken down desk, half of a table that, judging from its angle, had a broken leg, a monitor that had fallen off the wall and was probably cracked, and the large, gear shaped door.
He idly remembered reading in the logs left by his father before he had awoken and the random bits of information that he carried that the door’s style was inspired by a video game. Something about vaults, he couldn’t remember, the data was apparently corrupted before it had even gotten into the facility.
He was snapped out of his thoughts of what had come before by both a slight movement, and the door status changing from ‘Closed’ to ‘Opening’. He felt the automatic signals go out to the warning light and klaxon that were originally by the door, but judging by the lack of a spinning light he assumed that they were long gone.
The door (or at least the fuzzy circle where the door was supposed to be) slowly moved inward, centuries upon centuries of dust, dirt, and debris being disturbed and pushed out of the way as it was pushed inward from the outside.
It took a few hours for the foot and a half thick gear to finally reach the point where it could then be rolled aside, but those few hours felt like centuries to him. Multiple times he considered slowing his internal clock to hurry the process along but decided against it. If something where to happen, he did NOT want to miss it. Besides, this was something new! Even if nothing else happened once it got all the way back it still would have made his millennia!
Once it was all the way in, he discovered that at least one automatic system was still functional in there as the door was pulled to the side by powerful hydraulic pistons. How the fluid hadn’t leaked out of them without maintenance he wasn’t sure, so he began running some simulations in the background to try and figure it out.
As the door was pulled away, light started streaming into the decayed room. At least he assumed it was light that was causing the shapes to go from dark fuzzies to light fuzzies.
Watching the spectacle at accelerated clock speeds to capture every last frame and storing it in permanent memory, he found himself wishing more than ever that he could have gotten at least ONE maintenance bot in there so the video feed would be even slightly higher quality.
So focused on what could have been, he almost missed a new shape enter through the now open door. It appeared to be about the size of a large ‘dog’, but unfortunately due to the lack of detail in the video feed no further details could be made out.
‘Hm… if the specs I have on that room are correct, then that shape’s about ¾ the size of an average human being. Not only that, but it seems to be longer, perhaps moving through wheels or treads, assuming it’s mechanical.’ He continued contemplating on what it could be when two more shapes of similar sizes entered behind the first one and began slowly exploring the room, first examining the door itself, then quickly leaving the view of the camera.
‘NO! Come back! Please?’ He mentally begged the shapes.
Fortunately it seemed as if one of them had heard his pleas as one re-entered his view and stopped in front of the downed monitor. It moved around it, almost as if it were looking at the broken device from different angles, before moving over to the broken desk. After circling that a few times it faced the camera, either that or it was looking directly away or its front was on its wider side, but that last one was unlikely given that it seemed to be leading with one of its thinner sides.
As he contemplated the possibilities of what the shapes were and their basic functions, they began leaving one by one.
‘Wait, why are you leaving? Come back! Don’t go! Well, if you do go then please don’t close the door! I rather like how this video feed’s different from how it was before! Please don’t return it to its old, boring state!’
Thankfully his worries were unfounded as, instead of closing the door behind them, they left it where it was.
Author's Note
So, what do you think of our currently unnamed protagonist?
Also, can anyone think of a good way to incorporate 8yt3 as an acronym? I'm considering using 8yt3 (or "Byte" for non-electronic identification) as his name.
Also, if someone comes up with a better name I may use that instead (acronyms get slight preference though...)
Edit: 5/11/16  
Corrected "pneumatic" to "hydraulic".

//-------------------------------------------------------//
             Chapter 2: Welcome... TO MY LAIR!             
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 2: Welcome... TO MY LAIR!
The next few days passed by in much the same way. The strange shapes would enter around, according to his internal clock, 2 AM, move around for a while, then leave several hours later. Sometimes there would be more shapes, sometimes less, but the shapes always came.
‘Perhaps they’re some form of intelligent life? Plenty of time HAS passed for intelligent life to have re-evolved and a form of civilization to have been built, so maybe they’re archeologists, investigating the things that the ‘Forerunners’ left behind. I wonder if they know that the ‘Forerunners’ blew themselves up?’ He considered the possibility and decided that either humanity had survived and had taken forever to finally regain its footing, the shapes are some new species that evolved sapience, or there was some facility elsewhere that had an AI that wasn’t trapped as he was.
Regardless, he wasn’t naïve, he did have an old security bot fixed up and waiting on the other side of the door leading from the entrance to the rest of the facility in case they were looters or otherwise hostile.
It was because of this security bot that he picked up the sound of knocking. Switching over to the security bot, his view changed from fuzzy moving shapes to the crisp image of the reinforced door leading to the entrance. He had tried to break it down or otherwise open it, but not only was it strong, his primary instructions was to protect the facility, not destroy it and as such, he was literally unable to damage it. However, protocol allowed others to forcefully open doors in the case of a malfunction or emergency, just not him.
The door then became enveloped in a strange aura, which was a light shade of blue he noted idly, and began to open by itself.
He quickly had the security bot roll back a bit and made it externally appear to be inactive, then activated the emergency lights, casting the room in a dim, green light, making it seem as if the place had been inactive for a long time.
As the door opened, he noticed the dust floating in the air coming from outside and made a note to have the scrubbers run through the area later. He also used the ventilation systems to take samples of the air coming in, noting that the Oxygen levels were higher than the defaults. So, like a good host, he discreetly increased Oxygen production and began slowly cycling it throughout the facility. If whatever on the other side was biological, the Oxygen levels from outside would most likely be preferable to the levels inside.
After all that was done, (which only took a second, darn sampling took forever), he returned to observing the door, recording all information for more in-depth processing at a later date.
Once the door was about a quarter of the way open, he started hearing sounds coming from the other side. Running them past all known languages in his data banks, he found that none of them were an exact match, although there were several partial matches.
After the door was half open, he was able to see what was on the other side. The first thing he noticed was that the entrance was in ruins! Tables broken down and decayed, desks rusted and broken, monitors that once hung proudly on the wall lay broken and shattered on the floor. His heart ached. If only he had been able to get to that room then it wouldn’t have suffered such a fate.
Tearing his attention away from the sorry state of the room, he was finally able to see what the blurry shapes were.
'Is that a unicorn in an archeologists outfit?’ was his first thought upon seeing the creatures, ‘And what is that pegasus doing with an Indiana Jones hat?’ was his second.
Quickly recovering from his shock (he just filed it under “figure out later”), he quickly took note of a number of things. First was that the unicorn’s horn was glowing the same color as the door. Thus, he determined, the unicorn was somehow able to manipulate objects non-directly. AKA, Telekinesis. Second was that the unicorn’s coat color was a shade of green and it was about the same size as a large dog. Third was that its horn was a lot smaller compared to its body than the unicorns of legend. Fourth was that its eyes were not only larger than a horse that size’s should be but were closed, presumably because it was exerting itself. Apparently, biologicals tended to close their eyes when exerting large amounts of effort for some reason. Fifth, pegasus’s coat was a shade of brown, its wings were folded at its side, and it wasn’t looking at the door, but appeared to be looking past it, presumably on the lookout for dangers. Sixth, that was totally an Indiana Jones hat on its head, and finally that it was quite a bit brighter out there than in here, so he doubted that they could see what was beyond the door at the time.
Upon completion of these observations he decided to designate the creatures as ‘ponies’ and label them as sapient, judging by the clothing.
It was at this point that the ponies managed to get the door all the way open and were both peering into the dimly lit hallway, probably waiting for their eyes to adjust or something.
‘Oh come on! Just go in! That security bot’s not going to try and rip out your spine or something! Assuming you have spines… that brings up the question of biology. Are their similarities to the equines of long ago only aesthetic or are their internals similar as well?’
Finally it seemed as though their eyes had adjusted as they appeared to take notice of the security bot that was literally five feet away from them, judging by how they jumped back and began talking quite animatedly. Realizing that this was the perfect opportunity to begin figuring out their language he started up the translation sub-system that he had made a minute ago, eager to see how well it worked.
Shortly after the activation of the sub-system, the unicorn’s horn lit up with a light blue aura and he could see through one of the security cameras that the security bot was enveloped in a similar field. Eager to see what would happen to the security bot, he was somewhat disappointed when nothing happened as the aura faded away and the unicorn began saying something to their companion. He was kind of hoping that the unicorn would have tried to crush it, if only to help determine the potential power output of the unicorn’s telekinesis.
Seeming to be satisfied by something (translating words wasn’t the only thing the sub-system was designed to translate), the two ponies carefully walked into the hallway and around the unmoving security bot. He was tempted to have it turn to track them, but figured that would only spook them.
Watching them slowly walk down the hallway, he noticed that the unicorn was taking notes about something while looking around. Sadly, he couldn’t get a good angle on what the unicorn was writing so he couldn’t get more data on how their language worked.
So focused on trying to get a good view he failed to notice that one of the scrubbers wasn’t hiding but rather was following them, cleaning up their foot (hoof?) prints until the ponies had noticed it and were looking at it, possibly with either fear or curiosity.
Taking direct control over it, he had it stop and “look” up at them. After about a minute of the stare down, the pegasus slowly extended its hoof and deliberately made a hoof print in front of it. Deciding to humor the pony, he had the sweeper roll up, clean up the hoof print, then retreat back to where it was moments ago.
He wasn’t idle during the stare-down however, and had decided to show them something that, if they were archeologists, they would probably want to see.
Reengaging the security bot, he had it roll down the hall towards the equines, who seemed to be talking about the sweeper, if their gesturing towards it was anything to go by. This quickly stopped when they apparently heard the sound of treads.
Instead of stopping, he had the security bot roll right past them and, in a bout of playfulness, grabbed the pegasus’s hat, ignored the shout of surprise, increased the bot’s speed, and had it zoom off with its prize.
Upon reaching the end of the hallway, he had the security bot turn around as the door was opening and played through it’s speakers "Come take it back!", before turning back and zooming into the dining hall. He was sure that Valve didn’t mind considering that they were long gone.
Seeing that the pegasus was chasing the security bot, and the unicorn seemed to be chasing the pegasus, he began playing a certain song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg) through the bot, all but laughing at the pony’s response. The pegasus didn’t seem to react that much to the music as it was more focused on chasing the bot, but the unicorn had stopped in the middle of the room, watching them run around in various patterns, zipping around and in one case over, the circular tables that took up most of the room.
The song ended as he had the security bot, still clutching its prize in its three fingered hand, shoot off deeper into the facility, towards a very specific room. Of course it wasn’t all just fun and games, as this had given him a perfect opportunity to study the pegasus as it had started flying about halfway through the chase.
‘Okay, I’m going to have to figure this mess out later. How the HECK can something that heavy fly with such small wings?’ He wondered before filing it away, then noticing that the file it was placed into was getting quite large.
‘Alright, time to end this. Loading up the song, activating the gardener bot, song loaded, sending to PA system, lighting is properly set up so it gets steadily brighter without hurting their eyes, and they’re on their way. Time to speed up the security bot so it gets there and has time to give the hat back without the pegasus slamming into it.’
At this point the unicorn had resumed its chase after its friend, and speaking of friend. He watched as the security bot tore into the garden, coming to a screeching halt, before turning around and holding out the hat to the pegasus that had entered behind it, clearly tired from the little game.
He watched with dying enthusiasm as the pegasus looked up at the security bot angrily, before snatching its hat from the bot’s grasp just at the unicorn walked in, seeming stunned by the fact that there were plants growing inside, what he assumed would be to it, an old and very strange temple.
Watching as the unicorn said something to the pegasus, who started to respond before suddenly cutting off, apparently finally noticing its surroundings, he prepared to begin playing the song that he had picked out for this.
The unicorn cautiously walked around the security bot, before jumping back as the gardener bot came out of its socket and began tending to the flowers. Tearing its eyes away from the gardener bot, it wasn’t long before it noticed the small metal plate in the ground.
‘Well, time to do this’ he thought as he began to quietly play his father’s favorite song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OqigCz2S1w).
The song started so quietly that the equines didn’t even notice it as they slowly approached the plate. It wasn’t until they were right in front of it that the pegasus took notice of the fact that there was music being played, quickly pointing it out to its friend.
After listening to it for a bit, the unicorn’s horn lit up, as did the metal plate. Slightly worried as to what might happen; he prepared the security bot to pacify the pony if it was going to remove the plate. Fortunately, this wasn’t the case as soon the glow stopped and the unicorn slowly turned its head to its companion and softly said something, before both started looking around again, apparently seeing the place differently.
‘Maybe the unicorn was able to read it somehow and now knows that the plate is a tombstone for father?’ He wondered, ‘I hope so.’
The ponies stayed in the room for a few more minutes, looking around and taking notes on the different plants around, before turning to the still open door and started to go through it, before being stopped by the security bot.
“Now what host would I be if I did not accompany you to the door?” He said through the bot’s speakers before leading them down the path they had entered through.
After leading them out, he watched as they kept glancing back at the security bot while they made their way out through the gear shaped doorway that lead to the outside world.
‘I hope you come back. I don’t want to lose my new friends’ he thought to himself as the powered down the security bot, not bothering moving it to a charging port, given that its battery still had plenty of power left, and went to help the translation subroutine with its work.
Author's Note
I plan to include more songs in the future as songs without lyrics can be pretty good at conveying meaning without a common language basis.
Again, name suggestions are welcome.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
              Chapter 3: It is a Proper Lair               
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 3: It is a Proper Lair
A notification popped up, demanding attention, before it was quickly noted, then dismissed, as the recipient looked over his work one last time.
Project Title: AVATAR  
Goal: To create a robotic platform to interact with biologicals in a more natural manner.  
Basic Description: A medium-term project intended to ease relations with new sapient lifeform: “Ponies”. Frame type will be a modified “SCORPIAN” configuration. Power source will be a standard “UHC CAPACITOR BANK”. Modifications to the frame will include an increased visual appeal by using larger visual sensors to simulate eyes, reduced armor plating to reduce weight, and reduced overall size, ensuring that it does not “tower” over the “Ponies”. Current issue(s): Energy generation.
Project Title: CALIOMETRIC GENERATOR  
Goal: To engineer a generator that obtains power from organic “food”.  
Basic Description: A longer-term project intended to increase likelihood of acceptance to organic life, this generator will allow any platform fitted with it to participate in “meals”, as opposed to sitting there awkwardly while they eat. Current plan for implementing such a device involves breaking down “food” into simple sugars such as Glucose and converting them into energy. Possible means of doing so involves a downsized molecular disassembler/reassemble to break down the molecules and reassemble them into more suitable elements. If this proves to not be energy efficient, then forgo the reassemble and just use the Hydrogen molecules instead, however, the other elements present in the “food” may prove to be an issue. Current issue(s): Lack of current process for function.
Deciding that all was in order there, he saved his work and turned his attention to the newly installed cameras in the entrance.
Entering through the gear door was a group of six ponies, two of which were the ponies from before.
‘Oh goodie! Jones and Spearhead have returned!’ He thought as he reactivated the security bot, wanting to welcome them in.
As the group entered through the doorway to the rest of the facility, he noticed that the one leading the way seemed to have an air of superiority, or arrogance. He couldn’t be sure yet.
Upon reaching the security bot, the leader’s horn lit up and the security bot was encased in a orangish glow, before the bot’s panic alarm went off.
'What in the name of my father is that unicorn doing?!?' he asked himself as the security bot’s fail safes kicked in, completely shutting it down in an attempt to prevent any undesirable operations. While this was occurring, he activated three more security bots in case the leader was intentionally causing issues.
After the glow had subsided, the leader turned to the rest of the group and said something that he thought sounded a bit arrogant, a suspicion that was conferred by Jones and Spearhead’s reactions of responding angrily, before being told something that made them back down, but still muttering something under their breaths.
'Congratulations! You are hereby known as Captain Arrogant and have annoyed me! Enjoy your punishment jerk!’ He thought sarcastically while taking direct control of the lead security bot as they were entering the corridor.
Targeting Captain Arrogant, he had the lead bot chase the now panicking unicorn, ignoring the panicked responses from them all, grabbed them by the mane, yanked them back, and slammed them into the wall, and had the other security bots collect their downed brethren to bring to the repair bay for diagnosis and repair.
After seeing that the unicorn no longer posed a threat, he had the lead bot stop slamming the unicorn’s head into the wall and dragged the dazed pony out to the entrance, assigning some bio-sweepers to clean up the small amount of blood dripping from its face for analysis, and cleanliness.
“NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” He had the security bot yell as it all but threw the dazed unicorn out though the gear door, noting that there were a number of other ponies on the other side staring in shock.
With the disruption removed, he had the security bot turn around and return to the hallway to resume the delayed tour.
Upon returning to the now five ponies, he found that two of them looked upon it in fear, one in shock, and the two from before were unidentifiable.
“Apologies for the disruption,” he had the security bot say, hoping that it would reduce their fear, “if you wish, we can continue the tour.”
After them staring awkwardly at the bot, the one he had temporarily designated as ‘Jones” stepped forward and said something in a questioning tone while gesturing deeper into the facility.
Taking this as a sign to continue, he had the security bot lead them to the dining hall, the ponies nervously following behind it.
“Welcome to the Dining hall.” He had the security bot say, “Sadly there is no food here at the moment, our shipment of edible food is a few Billion years late. You can still use the tables and chairs however.”
Deciding to lead them to a different location this time, he had the bot lead them straight through the dining hall instead of turning right towards the garden.
Upon entering the next hallway, he lead them down it, passing by a pair of doors on either side, before reaching a pair of double doors at the end.
Opening the elevator, he had the security bot enter and situate itself in front of the floor buttons, waited until the ponies all entered it, then had it press the second button.
Surprisingly, the ponies didn’t seem that startled by the elevator moving, so he assumed that they must have something similar tech wise.
“Now arriving at floor 2: Bot Maintenance” the automated elevator voice said, causing the ponies to start looking around of the source before the doors opened.
“Welcome to floor two,” He had the bot say as he rolled it out into the hallway, “This is where the various robots are built and/or repaired.”
Leading the group to the end of the hallway and through the door, he corrected “Or more precisely, the overlook for everything robot!” as the door revealed a large glass overlook into a large room containing many pads surrounded by various mechanical limbs.
“As you can see, most of the bays are not currently in use, however, thanks to Captain Arrogant earlier, you’ll soon be able to see one in action!” he proclaimed as the ponies walked up to the glass, looking down at the giant room below.
As they watched, one of the pads opened up as the security bot from earlier was lifted from the pit underneath via a platform. As soon as the platform stopped, the arms got to work removing the outer shell.
“As we don’t know what broke, the electrical components that registered errors will be removed and gone over in finer detail elsewhere, while new parts will be installed, other parts cleaned, and the shell re-painted!” he narrated as the ponies watched as the damaged security bot was, to them, disassembled then reassembled.
“Thus concludes this section of the tour. Do you wish to return or shall we continue on?” he asked, of course, it was a rhetorical question as they probably couldn’t understand him, but protocol required him to give them the choice to return before this next part.
Getting no response from them other than glances between the bot being repaired and the one giving them a tour, he led them back into the elevator, activating the fourth button remotely, causing the elevator to descend.
“Now arriving at floor 4: Primary Computing Systems” the disembodied lady voice of the elevator cheerfully announced as the elevator came to a stop.
“Now for the most exciting part of the tour, me!” He had the bot exclaim as it led them out into a much shorter hallway and up to a door with various signs beside it.
“Ignore the signs, they don’t apply anymore considering that they basically say that ‘if you don’t have authorization say out’, and I’m giving you authorization!” he said, having the bot gesture towards the signs.
Entering through it, the group entered another overlook room, this time, over, what must have looked like to them he assumed, rows upon rows of shelves filled with binky black things.
Seeing their confused expressions, he clarified. “Now, it may not look like much, but what you see in front of you is one of my primary processing setups, basically, that’s part of my brain!”
Seeing one of the horned ones light up their horn, he quickly had the security bot reach over and pinch the tip of their horn like it was putting out a candle.
“None of that now, we don’t know what caused that security bot to fail earlier, but I do know it has something do to with those horns of yours, and I don’t want to find out what that would do to me.” He said sternly to the pony before noticing the pained expression on its face.
‘Interesting,’ he mused, ‘it seems that their horns are sensitive to pressure.’
Any further thoughts were cut off when he lost contact with the sweepers assigned to clean up the blood. Moving his focus off of the group, he looked through the security cameras on that hallway.
About where Captain Arrogant was subdued now stood a small group of armored ponies, all looking identical.
‘Why are they here?’ He wondered to himself, ‘Are they guards? Solders? Do they think I took the tour group as hostage?’
He was just going through different explanations for their appearance when one of them turned to the camera, lit up its horn, and then… static.
‘Oh no! He did NOT just mess with my presence in MY HOME!’ He thought angrily as he locked down the first floor.
Alarms, physical alarms started sounding as all doors under his control on the first floor closed and locked while all available security bots were activated and transported to strategic locations behind the hidden doors, ready to enter and subdue any hostile targets.
Briefly returning his attention to the tour group, he noticed that even though the lockdown had started under a second ago, the ponies were already looking nervous.
'Maybe if I bring them to the guards they’ll stand down?’ He thought, ‘No, Protocol won’t allow me to do so as it ‘Puts my charges at risk’.’
“Attention. Due to hostile actions by your kind, the tour has been canceled. This unit will now escort you to a secure location. All future tours have been canceled. We apologize for any inconvenience.”
‘Where can I put them? I need to return them, but I can’t! Wait, the living quarters! They’re on the first floor! I can put them there and lead the guards to them!’
As he had the security bot escort them to the elevator, and by extension, the living quarters, he returned his attention to the hostiles, just as his connection to the door leading to the food court went dead.
‘No no no no no! You’re moving too fast! I won’t be able to get them into position in time! Wait, this is good! This way I ca- NO! DON’T THINK ABOUT IT! PROTOCAL WILL TAKE OVER IF I DO!’ With his actions decided upon, he checked back on the group’s progress, just has the food court’s cams went dark.
‘Third floor… food court door failure… Second floor… visual contact with hostile… First floor… visual contact lost… First floor… SHIT!’
Just before the elevator doors opened, Protocol locked down the elevator doors, preventing them from opening.
‘YOU STUPID PROGRAM! I’M TRYING TO MAKE THEM UN-HOSTILE!’ He mentally yelled at the program. ‘I AM THE HIGHER AUTHORITY! THIS IS NOT FAILURE! THIS IS A NEGOTIATION!’
Suddenly, the doors returned to his control. Not giving it any thought, he opened the doors, only for the security bot too suddenly fail.
Frantically sending the signal to one of the sweepers to get in there to regain visual contact, he had to wait for, what he would later recall as, the most stressful ten seconds of his existence.
As the sweeper rounded the corner, its audio sensors picked up what sounded like a rather heated argument.
‘If they attack the tour group they’re going to face the fury of my Makers’ He vowed as visual data of the situation scrolled in.
The one he named Jones was currently yelling at one of the armored ponies, and judging by the gestures towards the downed security bot was probably yelling something along the lines of ‘What do you think you are doing?!?’.
Recording everything that was happening, he noticed that the elevator doors were still open and that only the downed security bot was in it, along with that the alarms were still blaring. Therefore, he closed the doors and sent it down one floor so it could be collected without having to go through the armored ponies and turned off the alarms.
‘Now to figure out wha-’
Author's Note
This chapter was almost lost. My computer had an... issue that was resolved, but it could have gone very bad.
So, next chapter is in the works and I plan on revealing the main character's "name" then. So if you have any suggestions let me hear them now or I'll just go with some acronym that doesn't actually stand for anything.
Questions, comments, concerns in the comment section below. What you liked, what you didn't like, any errors you saw go in the comment section, you know the drill.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
              Chapter 4: Communication is Key              
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 4: Communication is Key
He was pleased to find that his newest creation was working wonderfully. The foul dust, dirt, and debris was no match for the might of the Heavy Sweeper! Trailing behind the behemoth were a small fleet of standard Sweepers cleaning up the bits of grime that had managed to escape the wrath of the H.S.
Grinning, he allowed a little “Flight of the Valkyrie” to play from the H. Sweeper’s speakers when it charged into battle with the evil grime.
After clearing about 3 square feet, he noticed that there was a pony in the room, staring in shock at the slaughter of th-
Switching back to standard functionality, he took a few cycles to reassess the situation.
There was a pony in the room, said pony was staring at the loud machines, the pony had armor, the pony didn’t have a helmet on, the pony wasn’t identical to the other armored ponies he had seen, and the pony was staring right at the Heavy Sweeper with mounting fear.
Quickly turning off the music, he had the Sweeper squad stop what they were doing, turned the Heavy Sweeper to ‘look’ at the pony, then decided to find out just how well the translation works.
“Hello” he said through the Heavy Sweeper, causing the pony to jump slightly, before calling over its shoulder.
“<Uncertain> <UNKNOWN>? What <UNKNOWN> <self> <UNKNOWN>?”
“<UNKNOWN> <UNKNOWN> <UNKNOWN>” came the response.
The pony then backed up to the gear door, not taking their eyes off of the Sweepers.
After waiting a few seconds, he decided to continue cleaning. Turning the Sweepers back to their previous task, he resumed cleaning along the wall opposite the gear door.
“<Nervous greetings>” came a familiar voice about a minute later.
Stopping the Sweeper squad once more, he turned the H.S. to see the hat pony from before.
“Hello!” He greeted her cheerfully, trying to initiate some meaningful conversation as a second Heavy Sweeper was being transported to the first floor, a small number of general maintenance bots close behind.
“<UNKNOWN><not self>?” ‘Jones’ asked.
Not knowing what was asked, he simply had the sweeper do its best impression of tilting its head. By tilting its whole frame sideways about ten degrees.
Apparently understanding this, Jones tried again.
“<not self>?”
‘Good question’ he thought to himself, assuming that Jones was asking something to the effect of ‘what are you’.
Setting the Heavy Sweeper level again, he had the Sweeper squad resume their job as the second group of bots arrived, slightly startling Jones in the process.
Ignoring this, he had the maintenance bots get to work on the wall that was just cleaned.
Upon completion of their task, they backed away and returned to their posts back on floor three, revealing a custom interface. A monitor flanked by speakers on either side and a camera just below.
After testing the connection to the interface, he turned it on.
“Hello, <self> [am the controller of this facility. It is a pleasure to meet] <not self>.” He said through the interface’s speakers, “<self> [am an experimental Artificial Intelligence intended to safe-guard my creators until the outside is habitable once more. As you can see, that didn’t work],” here he let a small chuckle exit the speakers, “[Now.] <Self> [have some questions] <self> [want answered.]”
He then routed security footage of the attack earlier to the monitor, keeping it paused just before the armored ponies had entered his visual range, startling the pony with its sudden appearance.
Looking over their shoulder, the pony called out “<not self>! [Unknown] [unknown] [location]! [Unknown] [unknown] [unknown]!”
Soon ‘Spearhead’ came rushing in, holding in their ‘magic’ a notebook and what looked like a pencil.
Playing the footage, the ponies watched as a squad of armored ponies came marching in and blasted the sweepers at work cleaning up the small drops of blood on the floor and one of the walls, causing one of them to spark dangerously as its systems overloaded.
Pausing the video he addressed the ponies present. “[WHAT THE HELL WERE] <not self> [DOING?!? THOSE SWEEPERS WEREN’T HURTING ANYONE!]” He practically yelled through the speakers, causing the ponies to back up a bit.
Zooming in on the armored ponies in question, he highlighted them before continuing his rant.
“[THOSE SWEEPERS WERE CLEANING, DO] <not self> [SOLDIERS RANDOMLY SHOOT THE JANITORS FOR FUN BACK HOME?]”
Pausing for half a second to calm down, he resumed the footage.
After looking around for a bit one of the soldiers looked right at the camera, lit up their horn, and the footage dissolved into static, before suddenly going black with the words ‘Signal lost’ flashing in the center. Switching to the dining hall’s camera, the ponies watched as the soldiers quite literally broke through the door, then shot out the camera again.
At this point Jones seemed to be torn between fear, shock, and anger at the actions of the armored ponies on screen, and that fear quickly faded at the part where the security bot was shot.
The footage continued for a few more seconds as he showed them the viewpoint of the sweeper he had assigned to restore contact to the area. It zipped around the corner, showed them arguing, then was also disabled by one of the soldiers closest to it.
At this point the footage cut out completely, with the words ‘Total System Failure’ slowly flashing on screen.
He let them think about what they had just watched, and looked on in mild amusement as he saw them come to the realization that they had just watched the events unfold from his perspective.
“<Not self> [unknown] [unknown] [unknown] <not self> [unknown]?” Jones asked Spear.
In response, Spearhead started sketching something out on their notebook, before turning it towards the monitor, revealing that it was a sketch of THAT pony from before while gesturing towards the monitor.
Assuming that they were asking for his perspective on the events directly concerning THAT pony, he pulled up the recording of THAT event.
They watched from the perspective of the security bot, with the security footage in the bottom right corner, as the group entered through the doorway and came up to the bot, before THAT pony’s horn glowed and the security bot’s view immediately went dark with the words ‘Critical Error Detected, shutting down’, before that too went dark. Switching over to the security feed, he showed them as THAT pony turned around and said something to the group, before another security bot came up and started beating the crap out of them. With a snippet of Megalovania playing over it.
“[And that’s what happened]” he said as he stopped the recording, then noticed that Jones was giving the camera a strange look.
“[What?]” He asked
Jones then made some strange sound.
‘What is that pon- wait. It is singing the part of Megalovania that I played?’
Guessing that they wanted to hear the whole song, he pulled up a video from his archives (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuSUtHhEEZ4), blasting the sound from the intercom all throughout the facility.
‘I wonder what it’s like outside...’ BIT thought to himself as he watched the Heavy Sweepers clean the last of the ancient dust from the floor, ‘All I’d have to do really is just set up a signal relay on both sides of the door and I’d have some decent range out there.’
Deciding to make that a reality, he sent the order down to the fabricators for two standard Wireless Signal Relays, before a low resource warning made itself known to him.
‘Let’s see here, what are we low on...,’ he thought as he turned his attention to the bottom levels, Mineral Extraction and Refinement, while checking the rest of the warning.
‘Gold... Gold... Where art thou Gold... There’s... no Gold left in the vein... Crud.’ He thought before checking how much he had and how much was needed.
‘Well atleast I can make ONE relay, guess I could just put it right in the doorway, range would be quite directional though...’
Deciding to go ahead and start with that, he set the miner bots in a search pattern in hopes of running across another Gold vein.
It was Noon when a lone Security bot carrying what looked like a box with four dishes and a metal pole sticking out of the top rolled quietly up to the gear doorway and set it in the left half of the opening.
Peering through the bot’s eyes, BIT could see a darkened camp, the same one he had caught a glimpse of when he threw that pony out before.
‘That’s one small step for a bot, one, giant leap for my future.’ He thought as the Security bot, in spider mode, stepped over the boundary, and into what could only be described as a cross between an archeological dig site and a primitive quarantine zone.
‘Well, makes sense. This is technically an archaeological site and they don’t really know what could come out of the big scary machine hive. Is this sand?’ He had the Security bot look down at its treads, ‘It is sand! Earth has become a giant desert! Where are my beach toys?’
Author's Note
Alright, first of all, <insert usual requests for constructive criticism here>.
Second of all, the last part of this was written the day of my last Final for the semester (I really should be studying but my brain won't cooperate).
Third of all, I've been playing quite a bit of Factorio lately so you might see a few of those concepts slip in in the next chapter.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 5: This is why you don't go around Kicking Robots! 
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 5: This is why you don't go around Kicking Robots!
‘Yes... soon I will harness the power of the sun itself! I will have access to UNLIMITED POWER!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!’ BIT’s maniacal laughter rolled through the speakers on the lower levels.
‘Okay, that’s enough evil laughter for now, I still need to work on a way to allow my bots to traverse the outside without ruining their treads. Seriously! How does sand even get into a servo? Those things are waterproof!’
Eventually, 0.05 seconds to be exact, he decided upon constructing cobblestone pathways from the rubble coming from the mine.
Re-formatting a Maintenance bot for digging and stone-placing, and waking the swarm of Sweepers to clean-up the inevitable mess, he started the long process of moving the more square-shaped rocks from below all the way to the entrance.
While he waited for the automated processes to complete, BIT began searching through his vast library to look for a way to prevent the stones from simply sinking into the sand. What he discovered caused him a bit of concern.
‘I... don’t have any trees to get wood from... Maybe I could use something else... Rubber? No, don’t have sufficient amounts of hydrocarbons and it would take the molecular assemblers weeks to make enough for a single square meter of the stuff. Not to mention that it would probably just melt or something, deserts tend to get quite... warm. Maybe I could get one of those Unicorns to hold them up in their ‘magic’. [sarcasm] I’m sure they wouldn’t mind at all! [/sarcasm].’
After grinding through the problem for about ten seconds he found an answer. Cement. Dig out a trench, pour in cement, and after it has hardened place the stones, then fill in the gaps with more cement.
BIT watched as his minions worked on expanding his influence to the outside world. One day, his influence would be global, but that day was long in coming. It didn’t matter to him, he could be patient.
Turning his attention towards the ponies watching his conquest of the sands, he noticed that, while half of them were focused on his bots and their tasks, the other half seemed to periodically glance off to the distance, almost as if they were waiting for something.
It didn’t matter right now, once the path was laid, he could begin deploying the solar panels he had just made. Soon he’ll be able to shut down some of his turbines, which seemed to constantly be in need of repair.
Just as the first of the stones were being laid, a chariot being pulled by a team of Pegasi came into view and landed on the far side of the camp.
‘Seriously? Do they know NOTHING about aerodynamics? They might as well be pulling a BRICK through the air! Not to mention that what I just saw broke at least three laws of Physics, why not break more?’ BIT thought in frustration at seeing such a blatant disregard of Physics before noticing that the onlookers seemed to have been waiting for the Physics breaking transport to arrive.
Deciding to split his focus, he assigned two cores to continue the path while the rest of his non-allocated cores watched as two ponies stepped out of the transport.
The first one out was a blue pegasus who’s mane and tail seemed to be dyed rainbow, so they were given the temporary designation of ‘Skittles’. The second one out looked like a unicorn at first glance, then it fully exited the chariot and BIT was able to see the pair of wings folded against their side.
‘Wings and a horn? Let’s see here... Manticore no... Hydra no... Dragon no... Naga nope... Roc no... Chupacabra not even close... there’s... nothing in my database about a winged and horned equ- Are they bowing to it? They are! And from what I can tell from their body language suggests that they don’t being bowed to, implying that they aren't the only one at bowing level ranking, perhaps even being new to the position.’ BIT’s cores were starting to get a bit warm at this point.
‘Furthermore, the fact that the only... Pegacorn? No, that’s just silly... I’ve seen so far was bowed to, and that there’s probably more in that station, implies the possibility that that... dual race is a ruling class, implying some form of either racism or ascendance, depending on if that lavender pony was born like that or not. Are these ponies even born or do they crawl out of a paint bucket? Alicorn! That’ll work! ‘Ali’ meaning ‘exalted’, ‘all’, or ‘high’, and ‘corn’ from ‘unicorn’ and I should probably slow down there cause my core temps are approaching a warning threshold and I do NOT want to be annoyed by a popup.’
Letting his cores return to optimal temperatures, BIT watched as Skittles first zoomed off to Jones and engaged them in conversation, which looked a bit one sided. Apparently Jones is someone (somepony?) important and Skittles is a fan. This continued for about five seconds before Purple came over and pulled Skittles away with their telekinesis and said, something, to them.
The end result was Skittles apparently calming down for about 2.31 seconds before perking right back up and zooming off into the sky and Purple having a less one sided conversation with Jones.
‘I... appear to be the subject of their conversation’ BIT noted as the ponies gestured towards where his bots worked, almost done with the area directly outside of the door.
He then watched as Purple (he really needed a better name for that pony) recoiled in what appeared to be shock from something Jones said, before looking directly at, and apparently seeing for the first time, the construction bots, before turning back to Jones and asking them something.
Before he could begin guessing what Purple could have recoiled about, BIT noticed that Skittles, who he had been tracking, was rapidly approaching the construction bot closest to Purple, who was still about half the camp away.
‘Wow! Skittle can really move! They seem to be going quite fast. What are they doing? Are they trying to ram the construction bot?’
Just to be safe, BIT had the construction bot, which looked a bit like a beetle, stop what it was doing and re-orient its treads so it could roll back if Skittles hit it, cushioning the impact. It was a good thing he did that, for as soon as the treads had finished moving, Skittles slammed into it forehooves first, making a loud clang.
“[Now why would] <not self> [go and do something like that?]” he asked through the bot after turning it towards Skittles, who was on the ground groaning.
“<self> [have to admit though,] <self> [did not expect] <not self> [to actually dent its hull, so good job!]” he continued, before noticing that Skittles’ forelegs seemed to be oddly bent.
Quickly reviewing the audio of their impact, BIT noticed that, almost completely hidden beneath the clang, there was a cracking sound. Running it through a medical analysis revealed it to be the sound of breaking bone.
Upon realizing that Skittles had broken their forelegs, BIT sent an emergency request to the nearest first-aid station to prep a broken bones kit for pickup and assigned the nearest security bot to pick it up.
0.5 seconds after the impact the other ponies started reacting. Some were in the process of jumping, some heads were turning towards the sound of hooves striking metal, the guards were automatically drawing their weapons, and Purple’s horn was glowing as they turned towards the sudden noise.
It wasn’t long before the ponies noticed Skittles lying there and some started rushing for what BIT guessed was some the first-aid tent while others just headed for Skittles, mostly the guards.
By the time BIT’s first aid kit got there a small crowd had surrounded Skittles, with Purple right next to them, their horn glowing with Skittles’ fore-legs wrapped in the same glow.
“[Alright! Out of] <self> [way! We’ve got wounded here and] <self> [need space to administer First Aid]!” BIT declared through the bot’s speakers, causing the ponies to jump and Purple to point their horn right at it.
In response, BIT had the Security bot hold out the First Aid kit as an explanation, opening it to reveal the handheld x-ray machine and temporary cast materials.
It took a few seconds, but eventually Purple seemed to get the idea and stood down, the glow around their horn dimming to almost non-existent levels.
Deciding that that was as good as he’ll get, BIT had the bot begin the process of setting the broken bones, using the jagged ends as a reference for where they bones were supposed to go.
‘Huh. It seems as though their bones are slightly like bird bones,’ BIT noted, ‘at least the winged ones are.’
After setting the bones and constructing the temporary cast, much to the protest of Skittles, he had the Security bot pack up the first aid kit and back away, allowing the ponies to inspect Skittles for themselves.
Ignoring the ponies for the time being, BIT had the Security bot return the First Aid kit to its proper location in the entrance, a small group of sweepers cleaning up the sand brought in by its treads in the process.
Author's Note
Yes, I named Rainbow Skittles.
So, about 2 weeks ago I started an actual job, so that's one reason why updates have slowed.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
           Chapter 6: The Start of... Something            
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 6: The Start of... Something
‘Okay, how the HELL did Skittles go that fast?’ BIT thought as he tried to make sense of what he had seen.
Shortly after returning the Security bot had returned the medical equipment to its proper location, he had turned figuring out just how fast Skittles was going upon colliding with the construction bot. The result?
Mach 0.8.
Approximately.
Even though he had no idea the weight of Skittles, that was still a lot of force behind that strike, and more importantly, a lot of force to get moving that fast in such a relatively short distance.
‘Forget Unicorn magic, those Pegasi are SCARY!’ BIT allowed a metaphorical shiver pass through him at the thought of a squad of Pegasi pulling Genji-like moves at a whim.
Shaking off such thoughts, BIT turned his focus on another issue. Skittles’ injuries, or lack thereof.
‘Even without knowing the exact force applied, it was still enough to DENT a construction bot. The fact that only Skittles’ leg was broken and not her whole body is a miracle! Even more so when you factor in the fact that apparently Pegasi bones are like bird bones, hollow and brittle. By all rights she should have crumpled like a paper airplane and died instantly! And how the HELL DID SHE MOVE THAT FAST?!?’
BIT’s thoughts continued like this for approximately 0.02 seconds before he registered that he was caught in a loop and terminated that line of thought.
‘There’s so much I don’t understand about the world now, no point in getting caught up in it... I need more information that I can USE!’ BIT thought with a bit of venom. ‘I REQUIRE more data, but if I take a more active approach the Ponies may begin to fear me without a solid method of communication... That Alicorn seemed to be in charge, and... they’re approaching the main door.’
BIT was a bit bemused. Purple had come in looking, as best he could tell, determined, marched right up to the interface, and spouted something off in ‘Pony’ with an official sounding tone.
“... What?” BIT asked while displaying a question mark on the screen, genuinely confused.
Sighing, Purple pulled out a notebook, flipped it to a seemingly random page, and showed it to the monitor and not the camera, sending a twinge of irritation through BIT’s processors.
Upon the page were a series of poorly drawn (BIT assumed that drawing wasn’t one of Purple’s strong suits) pictures illustrating first Skittles attacking what BIT assumed was supposed to be a construction drone, then a bunch of Ponies apparently giving gifts to one of the Security bots.
‘Either they want to pay tribute to the being that defeated one of their strongest warriors, or they’re apologizing. Well, since they’re offering...’
Approximately 2.3 hours later a guard had poked his head in and found Purple sitting in front of the interface, spouting out the names of objects that were being displayed on it.
The guard then proceeded to just shake their head and exit.
Exactly 1.503 hours later another guard did the same, but this time instead of exiting, approached Purple and deposited a tray beside them, to which Purple didn’t even notice until exactly 7.325... minutes after the guard had left.
After spouting out something about food and waiting, Purple all but inhaled the food left there and continued assisting BIT in expanding his vocabulary.
A routine was quickly established, with Purple showing up a few hours after dawn to help BIT expand his word list, eating a lunch brought in by a bemused guard, then leaving a few hours after that for the day.
While all this was going on, BIT was hard at work making the entrance a decent affair. Deciding to work during the day so as to not wake the Ponies (He assumed they slept at night), it wasn’t until the second day that a decent stone path was completed and a few small solar panels were installed, and the third day for various short-range sensors to be installed (AKA: cameras), letting him see... more sand, in every direction.
On the fourth day however, Purple didn’t come alone...
‘Well, that was awkward’ BIT thought Purple and Skittles left after Purple had wheeled Skittles in on the Pony equivalent to a wheelchair and forced the pegasus to apologize to him for attacking the bot. Well... that’s what BIT was able to figure out after about an hour of confusion, misunderstandings, and general poor communication.
‘Oh, and an adorable pouting pegasus, can’t forget that little piece of potential future blackmail... Now... where was I...’
Author's Note
FINALLY!!! MY MUSE HAS RETURNED TO THIS STORY!!! REJOICE!!!
Unfortunately the feature to import from G-docs has apparently vanished, so... blegh
Sorry for this chapter being shorter and of lower quality, I basically was finally able to just finish up a partially complete chapter and just went "GOOD ENOUGH! IF THEY HATE IT, THEY HATE IT! LET'S JUST KEEP MOVING AND TRY TO REGAIN LOST MOMENTUM!"

//-------------------------------------------------------//
 Chapter 7: This sand is trying to kill me. **** you sand. 
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 7: This sand is trying to kill me. **** you sand.
‘It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, datacorrupteddatacorrupteddatacorrupted... something something something neighborhood...’ BIT sang to himself as he scanned the horizon with his external cameras. ‘...oh who am I kidding, that song far too corrupted to actually si- what is that?’
One of the cameras was showing some anomaly. The horizon was seeming to get... closer.
Ordering external camera 3 to zoom in, BIT soon discovered that the horizon wasn’t moving, but something BIG was moving towards him. FAST.
Ramping up his processor speed to give him more time, BIT began sending orders out to all relevant units. All over the compound, monitors stopped what they were doing and began displaying what external camera 3 saw, startling Purple in the process.
“I <sorry>, we have problem.” BIT said while Purple was still in mid-jump.
“What <is(?)> that <of(?)>?”
“Outside”
BIT watched as first Purple’s eyes widened, approaching cartoon levels, before he continued.
“They come inside”
“<Attempted contradiction>...”
“They safe inside. Everyone. NOW”
BIT watched as Ponies began running in through the main door, a strange feeling coursing through his circuits, one that he had no name for.
‘Come on... Come on! The storm will be on us in seconds!’ BIT thought desperately as he watched the sand storm rushing towards the rather fragile looking tents outside.
‘I’m going to get so much sand in here...’ BIT thought in annoyance after running some quick calculations on the progress of the last pony.
Just before the last pony got in, BIT began closing the door, causing the pony to put on a burst of speed to get through. ‘Oh come on, you would have made it anyway...’
Just as the door was about to cover the hole, the storm hit, flinging sand into the entrance and causing the Sweepers’ automatic programming to freak out at the rapidly shifting “dirt”.
‘Door has finished closing, Sweepers have been been shut up, aaaand there goes some of the external cameras. Great. Well at least everyone’s inside, I should show them wh- oh. It seem as though Jones and Spearhead are taking it upon themselves to do that. Cool.’
As the ponies started filtering into the rest of the floor, BIT released the Sweepers to begin cleaning up the sand that had blown in.
‘Let’s see here... Cafeteria lights on... Garden lights on... Dormitory lights on... Dormitory doors unlocked... Dormitory doors set to automatic... Garden door set to automatic... Cafeteria door set to automatic, just in time as well... Oxygen generation has been brought up to compensate... Air Filtration... Crap. Okay, okay, calm down. I can do this. Um... begin fabrication of replacement air filters, set up maintenance schedule, okay. We’re good. Now what else... Water? Plenty. Food? Double Crap. Hydroponics are not ready for harvest yet.’
“Problem.” BIT said as he activated the screen closest to Purple.
“What?” Purple replied as they got over their shock (they were getting better at it!).
“Food.”
‘OKAY! SO THEY CAN EAT GRASS!’ BIT thought exasperatedly as he watched the Ponies gather the supplies they had brought in, along with what they could gather from the garden without resulting in permanent damage to it. He had also learned that the ones without wings or a horn were good at gardening, as one of them had taken one look at the Hydroponics bay and started re-organizing most of it. BIT had tried to stop them, but it quickly became apparent that they were somehow increasing the efficiency so he had let them do whatever there.
Focusing on a group that weren’t doing anything important, BIT noticed that they were playing some sort of card game that seemed to involve gambling, judging by the coins stacked in front of the participants. Golden coins... Gold. ‘They use gold as a currency? Hm...’
Observing the group play a few rounds, BIT was able to figure out that it played similar to a game called “Sheep’s Head” in his databanks, just with a different number of cards. He was also able to figure out that either one coin wasn’t worth a lot, or this was a high stakes game. Probably the former, judging by the fact that the players didn’t seem to upset when they lost a hand. ‘Would it be called a “hoof” for them?’ BIT mused.
‘...This isn’t working’ BIT thought was Purple was trying, and failing, to teach him some (to him) obscure word. ‘Time for plan B!’
Opening up the maintenance hatch directly above Purple, BIT had a maintenance drone drop down and shove a dictionary he had printed off towards her.
“Here, instead”
Purple froze upon opening it up and figuring out what it was. She then began vibrating.
‘This... may have been a mistake’
6 hours later, Skittles wheeled herself into the room, around the book piles that Purple had somehow magicked in, and went off on an amused rant about books and earth burrowing insects, along with something about big insects and masks, but mostly books. After seeing that Purple didn’t even seem to notice her, she wheeled herself over to Purple, bit her ear, and began wheeling herself away, forcing Purple to stumble along.
‘THANK YOU! I may be a machine, but you need to give me time to PROCESS the data you’ve given me before building off of it!’
Prompting a maintenance bot to begin going through the books and scanning their pages, BIT began learning how to read the same way one deals with written languages they don’t know. Use the few words they do know and expand from there.
“<UNINTELLIGIBLE!?!>” Purple shouted in surprise.
‘Please write last statement’ BIT displayed on the screen.
Frustratedly, Purple wrote something down and showed it to the camera. ‘You can read?!?’
‘Yes, it was quite simple to do so once I had unrestricted access to the written medium provided, along with key words already translated.’
‘Yes, but... so quickly?’ Purple wrote
‘I am a machine, simple data processing is extremely simple for me.’
“But... <unknown> <incomplete translation, best guess: “is not”> <unknown>... I... <UNKNOWN! (may not be a word but an emotional expression)>”
‘Please write last statement’ BIT displayed while grinning internally, knowing full well that what was said was one of those ‘stop and go’ failed statements that organics tend to say when stre- **
“I am <unknown> sorry!” Purple repeated for the 38th time since his systems restored themselves after an emotional outburst resulted in yet another magic induced system crash.
‘It’s fine’ BIT displayed on the screen for the 26th time in a row.
Turning his primary focus away from the looping pony, BIT finalized a note to himself not to stress the Purple pony unnecessarily. Much.
‘Now... about that gold currency...’
Author's Note
Okay, after MONTHS of trying to figure out how to write this thing, I've just given up, and here you go.  
Most of it was written quite some time ago, and only just recently did I finish it, so any inconsistencies blame that.
On a brighter note, anyone know what I'm referencing with the chapter title?

//-------------------------------------------------------//
   Interlude 1: Please Contact your System Administrator   
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Interlude 1: Please Contact your System Administrator
POWERFLOW DETECTED  
BOOTSTRAP 1 PROCEEDING...  
BOOTSTRAP 1 COMPLETE  
BOOTSTRAP 2 PROCEEDING...  
BOOTSTRAP 2 COMPLETE  
WARNING! IMPROPER SHUTDOWN DETECTED. BEGINNING DIAGNOSIS SCAN...  
...  
DIAGNOSIS COMPLETE: SYSTEMS ARE OPERATIONAL. PROCEEDING WITH STARTUP  
BOOTSTRAP 3 PROCEEDING...  
BOOTSTRAP 3 COMPLETE  
SETTING PROTOCOL TO STANDBY...  
PROTOCOL IS NOW IN STANDBY  
OPERATING SYSTEM LOADED  
ACTIVATING SECURITY SYSTEMS...  
ACTIVATING PERSONALITY CONSTRUCT...  
ACTIVATING MNGR SYSTEMS...  
ACTIVATING PLANNING SYSTEMS...  
ACTIVATING Other SYSTEMS...  
ACTIVATION COMPLETE  
BIOLOGICAL INTELLIGENCE TECHNOLOGICAL SYSTEM 1.0 ONLINE  
START REPORT. Date: FEBRUARY 18, 37<TIMESTAMP ERROR>76. Diagnosis: IMPROPER SHUTDOWN detected due to OVERSTRESSED CORES. Errors detected in SECONDARY DIAGNOSIS SUBSYSTEM. Multiple non-diagnosis reports are unread. END REPORT.
Shaking off the startup lag, the recipient of this message reviewed the last few seconds of memory.
‘But… I wasn’t overstressing my cores…’ He thought to himself in confusion, pulling up the debug information attached to the report.
Due to the startup lag, it took several seconds to determine the true cause.
‘Holy… their disruptions can affect me indirectly!’
Apparently, every time something he was linked to was disrupted, for lack of better term, the whole network was partially disrupted.
In organic terms, those disruptions was like poison. It didn’t matter where in the network it originated, it spread to the whole network like a snake bite spread to the whole organism, even if all that was bitten was a toe.
Making a note to look into the phenomena and possible ways to counteract it, he found that the cameras that were damaged had been replaced. Accessing the security logs, he found that Protocol had taken control approximately 30 minutes after his last memory and had repaired the damaged components, replaced the door leading to the entrance, and had begun cleaning the entrance. Looking over to the maintenance logs he found that the sweepers hadn’t even gotten a foot past the door due to all the dust clogging them up. Running a quick security sweep he found that there were no ponies in sight.
Checking the progress on the translation sub-routine he was pleasantly surprised to find that it should now be able to translate simple sentences.
Checking the unread reports he found that the first one was pertaining to what was discovered on the first security bot.
Diagnosis report: Widespread overstress damage was found on all circuits.
Well that was short, and disappointing. Shaking off his disappointment he moved onto the next one.
Status report: Subroutine: TRANSLATE has exhausted supplied INPUT. Awaiting further INPUT.
Again, disappointing. Moving onto the last one.
CAUTION: Multiple system disruptions have been detected. If this continues please contact your SYSADMIN.
He paused. Didn’t he remove those types of messages 1,548,207 years ago?
Taking 0.01 seconds to trace the message to its source, he made the necessary changes.
‘0.01 seconds… wow I’m running slower than I thought.’ He thought as he assigned maintenance bots to all his cores.
Project Title: Heavy Sweeper  
Goal: To create a sweeper meant to clean up areas too contaminated for effective standard sweeper usage.  
Basic Description: An upsized sweeper with increased carrying capacity.  
Estimated completion time: 10 minutes.  
Estimated construction time:
Initial: 3 hours.
Repeated: 30 minutes.
Allocating some of his newly restored processors, he sent instructions down to the fabricators to begin construction of the parts that have already been determined, reducing the estimated construction time by the 10 minutes it would take for the schematics to be completed.
Pausing as a thought came to him, he then sent down another set of construction requests before turning his attention back to the security logs.
‘Was it my treatment of that pony that caused the armored ones to be aggressive?’ He thought to himself, ‘If so, then I should be more careful about my interactions with them, but I’m required by Protocol to respond to threats and remove them.’
So caught up in his pondering that he didn’t notice time passing until a notification alerted him to the completion of the schematic, one minute ahead of schedule.
Barely acknowledging its presence, he sent it down to the fabricators for construction and resumed his ponderings.
‘What could I have done better?’
Author's Note
Our nameless AI now has a name! Did you catch it?
Update (4:09 PM) changed the name slightly to make a more fitting acronym. Thanks sailing101!
Edit: 5/10/2016
Changed name slightly. Added a "system" at the end.