Prologue - A Conversation In Another Timeline
hey.
i heard you have to fight me.
i was thinking you might want to grab some dinner with me first?
*Yeah I’m busy
great, sit down whenever you’re ready, kid. i got some tomato soup cooking.
*The tomato soup looks more like watered-down tomato sauce.
well, let’s get started.
so. you’re journey’s almost over, huh?
you must really wanna go home.
heh. i know the feeling, kid. but sometimes, you just gotta take what’s given to you.
…
you’ve got so much down here, is it really worth it?
…
ah, forget it.
i know we hafta fight, so let’s stop all the heavy talk.
here, have some tomato soup.
lemme tell you a story, kid.
so i’m the king, y’know?
i have to stay up in this place all day. gets kinda boring.
luckily, one day, i found something really weird.
a door, deep in the castle, that seemed to lead to nothing.
seriously, it won’t open no matter how hard I blast it.
anyway, one day, i decided to see if maybe there was someone on the other side.
so i tell a knock-knock joke.
knock-knock.
and suddenly, from the other side…
i hear a man’s voice.
“who is there?”
so, naturally, i respond, “dishes”.
“dishes who?”
dishes a very bad joke.
then, he just howls with laughter-
“Ohohoho! That is a good one!”
-like it’s the only joke he’s heard in a hundred years.
so i keep em coming, and he keeps laughing.
he’s the best audience i’ve ever had.
and i don’t know, but something about this guy seems a little… familiar?
i can’t quite put my finger on it, but I feel like a know a guy that laughs just like that.
anyway, after a dozen of ‘em, he knocks and says:
“Knock Knock!”
i say, “who’s there?”
“goat!”
I say, “goat who?”
“I don’t know, you’ve goat me there!”
wow.
needless to say, this man was extremely good.
we kept telling each other jokes for hours.
eventually, though, he told me he had to leave.
he said he had to water the flowers.
but he told me to come by again, and so i did.
and then again, and again.
it’s kinda become a routine now.
every day, we tell jokes through the door.
it’s really great.
…
one day, though, he didn’t laugh very much.
i asked him what was up.
then he told me something strange.
“if you ever meet a human someday, perhaps one outside your very house, please watch over them, ok?”
now, i’m not usually one for making promises.
and this man, i don’t even know his name, but…
someone who genuinely likes bad jokes…
has an integrity you can’t say no to.
that promise i made to him…
i don’t know what i would have done if i hadn’t made it.
would you have been so kind to everyone?
would you have even talked to me?
kid, if you did ever harm anyone…
YOU’D BE DEAD WHERE YOU STAND.
…
hey, lighten up, kiddo!
you still have time.
please, i beg you…
d o n ‘ t f i g h t m e.
…
…
anyway, come see me when you’re ready.
i’ll be waiting.
