Rumors...

Rumors…

“Yess…!” I heard Spike whisper.

“Well now. You sure seem happy to visit this next place,” I taunted. “Somethin’ special about it?”

“Only that it’s run by the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria, the amazing Rarity!” Spike gleefully and lustfully responded, his gaze seeming to be aimed into outer space.

“Is that so? Ooh, sounds like you’ve got some competition, Twi,” I joked.

“Oh, stop it, Ty,” Twilight retorted, blushing.

“What can I say? You know it's true. Don't be so modest.” I smiled at her.

“Get a room, you two!” Spike complained.

“Spike!” Twilight scolded.

“My, you’re grown for your age,” I added with a chuckle. “Fallin’ in love with full grown mares AND you know a choice phrase usually said when others are havin’ moments of intimacy? Twi, what HAVE you been teachin’ this young dragon?”

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Twilight shot back. “Spike, where DID you learn such a thing?”

“Uhh… I dunno!” Spike shakily answered, looking flushed. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something… or someone, rather, bouncing their way towards us, humming with joy. “Hi there, Pinkie Pie!” Spike called, prompting me to get a better look at the pony headed towards us.

“Hiya Spike! Hi, Twilight!” The pink mare greeted with a shrill, upbeat inflection as she stopped in front of us. This one was easier to read than Rainbow Dash. The fact that she was positively pink with equally pink, puffy hair and wearing a possibly perpetual perky smile on her face, combined with what I presumed was her probably peppy party-hardy personality led me to believe she was quite the entertainer.

“Good afternoon, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight happily greeted. “I’ve brought a friend I’d like you to meet.” The second our eyes met, Pinkie Pie’s smile dropped and she began to stare at me intensely. She got so close that our noses pushed up against one another as that creepy, angry-looking stare pierced into my very soul. Oddly, she smelled strongly of cake and cotton candy…

“…Um, hi?” I nervously said, breaking the awkward silence. Instead of responding, she leapt into the air, took an extensive, dramatic gasp, and then ran off away from us with a speed I daresay rivaled Rainbow. “Oooookay…? What was that about?”

“Oh, just… Pinkie bein’ Pinkie is all,” Twilight answered in a suspiciously nonchalant tone.

“Uh-huh… Well anyway, where’s this Carousel place?”

“Right here!” Spike yelled as we approached our destination. Looked like a big-ass dollhouse if I ever saw one.

“Rarity! Are you home?” Twilight asked as she knocked on the door.

“I’ll be down in just a moment, Twilight, darling,” answered a soft, royal-sounding voice. A few seconds later, the door of the house opened to reveal a white unicorn mare with azure blue eyes and a dark purple mane and tail that seemed to be styled very fancily. Spike wasn’t lying when he said she was beautiful... Y’know, for a pony. The inside of her house was something, too. It was like walking into a fashion studio/upper-class home. Pony-shaped mannequins and various stitching and fabric utensils and materials were strewn about a very decorative room. “Oh, I see you’ve brought a guest! Please, come in! Oh dear, I’ve hardly had the time to tidy up the place. I do hope it isn’t a bother to you, Mister…”

“Memoir. Ponder Memoir.” I greeted with a smile. “You must be Rarity.”

“You know of me? Have you been admiring any designs of mine?”

“Design? Oh, sorry no, I’m new here. I mainly only know o’ you because Romeo over there was talkin’ about you on the way here,” I said, motioning a hoof at Spike who took a look of alarm at me. “Somethin’ about you bein’, and I quote, ‘the most beautiful an’ amazing pony in Equestr— OOP!” I was interrupted by a small, scaly purple claw forcibly clasping itself over my mouth.

“Oh dear, Spike, you sure do have a way with words…” Rarity coyly stated, her cheeks turning red as she stifled a laugh with her hoof. I can see why Spike likes her so much.

“Ix-nay on the ote-quay…!” Spike whispered harshly as he removed his claw from my face.

“Sure, so long as you an’ Twi stop stickin’ your hooves an’ claws in my mouth. Tastes like apples, by the way…” I looked back up at Rarity, who was still giggling at the antics of Spike and I. “Pardon me, milady. It’s just that on occasion, my mouth gets ahead of my thoughts,” I said in the most refined voice I could muster. “Anyway, it is a most wondrous pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ms. Rarity.” I bowed down in front of her.

“My, what a flatterer you are,” she said, seemingly impressed by my manners. “Tall, dark, handsome, and well-mannered…” She was making me want to blush… “Twilight, is he your colt-friend? I must say, quite a pick you’ve made.”

“NO!” Twilight and I both shouted in unison.

“H-he’s just a friend is all!” Twilight hastily added, blushing very hard.

“Uh, y-yeah, a friend!” I continued, dropping the fancy accent and standing back up while I felt my own face heat up. “Since I’m new around these parts, Twilight volunteered to show me around. We ain’t—!”

“Now now, you two… You don’t have to hide your relationship from me,” Rarity replied matter-of-factly. Spike was overcome with a sudden outburst of laughter as Twilight was frozen with embarrassment and I face-hoofed.

*sigh* “Fine, you caught us,” I sarcastically began. “We TOTALLY can’t hide our feelin’s from you, Rarity. We just love each other SO much,” I said as I walked over to Twilight to give her a hug, confusing the purple unicorn even more until I winked at her, which she understood as her blush faded with an assuring smile. I was pretty sure she still didn’t know what I was doing, but still trusted me enough to allow me to play along with Rarity’s misconception.

“See, there you go! Don’t be afraid of your love! Embrace it, accept it and most of all, share it!” Rarity advised.

“Right… Well anyway, what do you do around here? You said somethin’ about designs…?”

“Oh, yes, I’m a clothing designer. I make many fashionable designs and share them with many different areas of Equestria! My creations are unrivaled in their elegance, beauty, and overall appeal to many a pony throughout this land! I’ve even managed to draw in some of the most scrutinizing eyes in the fashion world, and even they have praised my work!”

“Hm… I don’t get it…”

“What is there not to get, dear?”

“I mean, I ain’t seen one pony in this town yet wearin’ any clothes. Maybe a bowtie or a hat or somethin’, but other than that, everyone here is naked… I’m sorry if this comes off as a bit rude, but why exactly do you design clothes if no one wears ‘em?” the white unicorn stared at me with a look that I couldn’t tell was confusion, disgust, shock or a combination of all three.

“Before I answer that, might I ask you where exactly you’re from?”

“Dammit! Of all the things she coulda asked me, it had to be somethin’ like that… Hmm, what could I say…? Manehattan? Fillydelphia? Um…Ooh!  Maybe…!”

“I’m from uh… Las… Pegasus,” I lied, making up what I thought was a random city that sounded like Las Vegas.

“Oh, I see! You’re from an area very far away from Ponyville. I suppose your lack of knowledge of me and my designs can be explained by your place of residence. My designs go as far as Canterlot, Manehattan, and Fillydelphia to my knowledge…”

“Dodged a bullet there…”

“Ponies here usually wear clothes only during special occasions, such as large parties or other types of important social gatherings, and when we do wear clothes, I’m usually the one to supply the most dazzling of designs. Ask Twilight! I made her and all of our friends many gowns for the Grand Galloping Gala a while ago, not to mention I made another set of gowns for the royal wedding between her elder brother Shining Armor and Princess Cadence!” she explained as I heard a low growl coming from her. “Oh my, I’m feeling famished. I knew I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast to perfect that summer dress… Please excuse me while I fetch myself something to eat. Would you all like anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though,” I replied.

“Same here,” Twilight added. “We came here from Sweet Apple Acres not too long ago.”

“I’ll gladly take anything you have to offer, Rarity!” Spike enthusiastically said. I swear I could have seen drool hanging from that boy’s mouth, he was so busy staring at the white unicorn.

“Very well, then,” Rarity said as she trotted off into a different room. “Come with me, Spikey-Wikey.” Spike immediately followed her into her kitchen. I almost busted out laughing at Rarity’s nickname for Spike… but, her Cutie Mark caught my eye. Three light blue rhombus-shaped diamonds aligned in a triangular pattern… How oddly familiar…

“Hey, Rarity,” I called.

“Yes, dear?” she asked as she and Spike walked back into the room with a slice of cake enveloped in a light blue magic glow.

“Your Cutie Mark…” I hesitated, remembering the last two ponies I’d already revealed my true place of residence… or should I say plane of existence to. I couldn’t afford to expose myself any more than I already had.

“Hm, yes, it’s quite a lovely little thing, isn’t it? This Cutie Mark represents my love for the finer things in life, especially fashion and design. It also represents my undying love for… how you say, ‘breaking bread with my fellow pony,’ which explains why I am the Element of Generosity,” she enlightened me. Yet again, there was that thing about Elements…! I figured that there must have been some secret club going on that I didn’t know about.

“Okay, what’s this about—?”

“OH NO!” Rarity shouted with extreme alarm.

“What?”

“I’m terribly sorry, but you all have to go now! I’ve just realized I have a very important order to fill for Hoity Toity, and I’ve let procrastination get the better of me! This will likely take me the entire afternoon to finish, and I cannot have any distractions!”

“Bummer. Well, it was nice meetin’ you, Rarity,” I said as Twilight, Spike and I headed towards the door.

“I’m so sorry to throw you out like this… Especially since you seem like such a nice fellow…” She said to me. “Oh, and Twilight…? Would you mind if Spike stayed here to help me finish my design?”

“Of course I’ll stay!” Spike answered for himself, running up to Rarity’s side.

“Well, I guess you have your answer there,” Twilight added. “Looks like it’s just the two of us from here on out today, Ty.”

“Okey doke,” I responded.

“I thought you said your name was Ponder Memoir…?” Rarity said questioningly.

“It is,” Twilight began. “…but sometimes, he likes to be called ‘Ty.’”

“Aww, that is just adorable!” Rarity gleefully replied. “You two have already come up with nicknames for each other! Twi and Ty… Oh, that has such a cute ring to it! I can just tell you two are going to have such a harmonious relationship!” Twilight and I just stared at Rarity, dumbfounded and completely speechless.

“…well, we should get out of your hair now…” I sheepishly blurted. I was still caught completely off-guard by Rarity’s comment. “A-Again, it was nice meetin’ you...”

“Bye, Rarity,” Twilight said with what sounded like uncertainty.

“Tootle-loo, ‘Twi and Ty!’” she replied as we walked out of the door, making us both cringe. As the door shut behind us, I swore I heard a child cracking up from inside. Spike, no doubt.

“Wow… just wow,” I said with a sigh, shaking my head in a mixture of embarrassment and shame.

“Great… Rarity actually thinks we’re dating…” Twilight added with disbelief. “Which reminds me: Why did you play along with it?”

“That’s what I usually do when someone accuses me of bein’ involved with somethin’ or somebody I actually have no connection o’ that sort with,” I answered in defense. “I play along with it so the accuser and I could just have a laugh and forget about it. Clearly, it backfired this time. I didn’t think she ACTUALLY thought I was serious…”

“Well that’s just fantastic, because if we don’t clear things up, which we pretty much can’t now, I guarantee the whole town will think we’re dating by tonight!”

“Aww, come on now, rumors don’t spread THAT fast… and don’t forget: Rarity and Spike are s’posed t’ be spendin’ the rest o’ the day inside finishin’ that outfit.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised…” Twilight countered. With that, I assumed we were in for quite a shit-storm...