Minor Setbacks and Distractions!

Minor Setbacks and Distractions!

Beginning with Ty...

So far, I’d already managed to get chewed out by my boss for my absence and lose a day’s worth of pay. What a bright first day back on Earth this was turning out to be!  Already, I found myself missing my favorite little unicorn. However, my faith in her was strong, and I hoped for the best as I shifted the focus of my thoughts to my job, so as not to worry about Twilight too much…

Meanwhile, in Ponyville…

“Rainbow Dash! Hey, how’s it going?” I greeted in pleasant surprise. I was a little disappointed that it was her instead of Spike at my door, but I was also concerned as she stood there looking at the ground with one of her fore hooves scratching her multicolored mane.

“It’s… great. I don’t have much work to do today, so I decided I’d… just pop in for a surprise visit to my best friend,” she replied as I let her in, sounding suspiciously unsure of herself.

“…Is there something wrong? You seem upset.”

“No! Nothing at all!” she frantically answered. Now, I was getting doubtful of her. She had to have some reason to come here so suddenly without anypony else, and I was going to find out.

“Alright then…? Are you looking for a new copy of Daring Do? Because the newest one came out about two weeks ago, but I’m pretty sure I already lent it to you.”

“No…”

“Is there something you need to talk about?”

“Kind of…” whatever was bothering her must’ve really been severe if it had her acting more withdrawn than Fluttershy.

“Well… what is it?”

“I… um… I uh…” she stumbled over her words as her eyes darted around the library. Eventually, her gaze turned to the book I’d accidentally left on the floor behind me. “Hey, what’s that?” now it was MY turn to be embarrassed…

“Oh! Nothing! I was just… doing some studying… y’know, boring ol’ egghead stuff,” I hastily answered as I quickly willed the book back into its rightful place. Unfortunately, Dash saw right through my sudden sense of discomfort as she trotted past me to get a better glimpse.

“Whimsical Osculation…? What’s that book about? And why are you so embarrassed about it?”

“It’s um… a book about the wonders of correctly identifying configurations in various constellations in stars during the night that are formed like… like musical instruments!” I grinned sheepishly at her, secretly hoping I’d bored her with my explanation. She stared at me with a deadpan expression that already told me she wasn’t buying it.

“Y’know, you’re almost as bad a liar as Applejack,” she told me as she grabbed the book from its resting place and read a few pages in it. I felt my face become hotter than sweet Celestia’s sun as my cyan Pegasus friend looked back up at me, snickering. “R-really, Twi? A kissing book??” before I could defend myself, she burst into a fit of laughter.

“*sigh* Yes,” I admitted with defeat. “But it was purely for educational purposes, I promise! Enough about that, though. What brings you here?” her laughter stopped more immediately than it began as she threw herself back into her shell.

“Oh, right. Well… y’see… I kinda… need advice on something…”

“Yeeees?” I encouraged, my interest piqued.

STOP! Human time…!

“I heard you telling the boss about a stomach virus, but I’m not buying that. You told me yourself you haven’t had a stomach virus in years. What REALLY happened to you?” my nosey coworker asked.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. All that matters now is that I’m here,” I answered curtly.

“He was prolly with some girl yesterday,” another coworker quipped solely to antagonize me. “Wha’ss her name? She cute?”

“I told y’all, don’t worry ‘bout it,” I demanded, now getting a little agitated. Well, more than I already was.

“What’re you so afraid of that you can’t tell us who you were with yesterday?” the first prying coworker asked.

“How would yo ass even know if I was with somebody? Stop listenin' t' this a-hole.”

“What, was it a dude you was with?” asked the second coworker, who got enjoyment out of egging me on whenever I got mad. This day, unfortunately, was no exception. I was already in hot water, so I simply tried to ignore the intrusive remark. “You know, we ain’t got a problem with homosexuals ‘round here. I’ss okay if you are.” He was too good at this.

“Man, I ain’t gay,” I irritably shot back.

“Then why ain’t you tryna tell us who you was with yesterday?” This guy was SO convinced that I was doing something he had no business knowing about with someone he had no business knowing about and there was hardly anything I could think of saying or doing to shut him up.

"Oh, man... You are gettin' me SO angry..." I mumbled as I rubbed a hand on my forehead, which I swore was throbbing from a suddenly heightened blood pressure.

"Well, you wouldn't be if you'd jus' tell us who you was with. Why is it so hard for you t' jus' tell us?" At this point, I could already feel the migraine coming on from the sheer stupidity of the interrogation I was being placed under. So I did what I usually do when I'm faced with an impossibly moronic situation where fighting it only makes it worse; I intentionally lost all sense of caring and decided to go with the Bartleby approach.

“Because… I would prefer not to,” I simply answered after taking a deep breath to simmer down.

“Why the hell not?” asked the first coworker.

“I would prefer not to.”

"Dude, we swear, we won't tell anybody! Can you PLEASE just tell us what you were doing to miss work yesterday?"

"I would pefer not to."

“Get your asses back to work!” shouted a new voice.

“I would prefer not to,” I foolishly answered. I realized my mistake as soon as I turned around to see my boss, a big burly man with a bald head in formal attire that made him look like he was going to court, glaring angrily at me and my “friends,” specifically at me. He walked over to me, looking none too pleased.

“What was that, boy?” He was about my height, but he was much more muscular. Compared to him, I was a walking faggot. (DISCLAIMER: In America, the word ‘faggot’ is, or at least WAS, the term used to describe a pile or bundle of twigs.)

“Ooh, shit, son…!”

“I um… I would prefer not to… let you down, sir! I was jus’ tellin’ these guys the same thing when they was… askin’ me if I would ever slack off on the job!” I nervously lied with a noticeably frightened titter.

“Hm. That’s what I like to hear. You might’ve missed a day without tellin’ anyone, but I see you haven’t lost your work ethic. Keep it up.” With that, he made his way out. I was still shaking in fear at what I could only guess almost happened to me.

“Come on, Twi… PLEASE get done soon…” I murmured.

"...So 'Twi' is her nickname?" asked one of my coworkers. I took that moment to introduce the palm of my hand to my face.

" *sigh* Goddammit..."

Back to Twilight…

“Wow, Rainbow… I… I had no idea you had so much trouble with that…” I said in shock after listening to her crisis.

“Yeah. To be perfectly honest with you, I thought you had trouble with the same thing… you know, with you being an egghead and all…” I could see her troubles did nothing to change her somewhat brash thought process.

“Well, with me, it just kind of… happened. Neither of us really tried to do anything.”

“And that’s what I don’t get,” Rainbow began. “How come a special somepony falls right into your hooves without you even trying? I mean, what’s wrong with me that I can’t find somepony like that?” she seemed so distraught. I felt for her, but I was equally as shocked as I was sympathetic.

“Well, he’s from an alternate universe that I accidentally visited, so I think it was more of me falling into HIS hooves. I can’t rightly explain it myself, but… everything just played out the way it did..." At that moment, a sudden thought had hit me. "Rainbow Dash… were you… jealous??”

“No…! Well, yeah, kind of. I… I just don’t get it. I’ve overheard tons of other ponies talking about how they’d like to go on dates with Fluttershy or Applejack, and even a few that preferred Pinkie Pie. And we BOTH know that Spike obsesses over Rarity. I thought we’d be the only two single ladies out there… then you met Ty. It stinks that he’s gone, but you still had somepony care for you that way.”

“Actually, I was going to try and see if I could convince Princess Celestia to change her mind. I sent a letter, but before I could get a response, Rarity took Spike off on a date.”

“Are you kidding me!?” Rainbow practically shrieked. “Now THEY’RE dating??”

“Not quite. You see—!”

“I thought I’d be able to find SOMEpony before Rarity ever considered Spike an option!” she almost sounded like she was going to cry.

“You weren’t there when he asked her? He told me he did right after Ty and I left. Besides, I thought you said you didn't have the time to meet a special somepony when Applejack said you were jealous...?”

“No. As soon as you left, I went home. And I only said that to get her off my back. But anyway, what were you saying about seeing Celestia again?”

“Oh! Yeah, I spent the night in the other universe with Ty. In that time, we started to talk about Celestia’s decisions and how unfair they seemed. We both came to a conclusion that she may not have given us all the details for her rules, so I decided to try and pay her another visit in hopes of changing her mind. But thanks to Rarity, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that today or not because I needed Spike. Until they get back, I’ve got all the time in the world to sit here and wait for them...”

“That’s great!” exclaimed Rainbow.

“Great? I hardly find anything great about—!”

“I mean, it’s great that you have this free time, because I need you to teach me how to be more… appealing.”

“Rainbow, I have nothing to teach you on that subject. I think it’s a matter of preference for everypony, anyway.”

“Yeah, but as you can see, nopony seems to find me very ‘preferable!’ Maybe I’d have a better chance at going to that other universe and finding somepony there…”

“I… wouldn’t bet on it.” I was unsure of how to tell her that the other universe was inhabited by humans, but I realized that wasn’t the best response.

“And what’s THAT supposed to mean!?” asked an offended Rainbow.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that! *sigh* Listen, I don’t really know what to tell you except to be comfortable with yourself and be confident… Ohh, Ty knew more about this sort of thing than I do…”

“He did?”

“Well, I THINK he did. He did a great job at talking to Fluttershy when they met, and he’s really good at giving advice to other ponies. I know that first-hoof.”

“…Say, where DID Spike and Rarity go?” Rainbow asked after a brief moment of silence.

“I believe they said they were headed to the Ponyville café, but that was a few hours ago. Why?”

“Maybe I could go check on them and see if Spike got that letter yet. If he did, then I’ll be back to bring it to you. If not, then… then I’ll take you to Canterlot myself.” My face brightened with joy at Dash’s proposition.

“You would do that for me, Rainbow?” I asked, barely able to hide my newfound excitement, although I figured she was doing this partly to sort out her own dilemma.

“Like I said, I’m not the Element of Loyalty for nothin’!”

“Ohh, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” I repeated as I hugged the Pegasus mare tight.

“Heh heh, no problem, Twilight,” she answered as she freed herself from my grasp and reared up to fly out of a window. “I’ll be back in a flash!”

“Wait, Rainbow, please use the—!” she disappeared through the window in a polychromatic flash before I could finish. “…door.”