Twi and Ty's Topsy-Turvy Tours

by TAP BaDap18

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 67712

Twilight Sparkle gets a first-hoof learning experience about humans and their world, and then some.

In an attempt to instantly transport herself to different cities in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle mistakenly casts a spell that transports her not to another city, but out of her universe entirely! She finds herself thrown into an unfamiliar place inhabited by strange creatures no one in her own world has ever encountered before. However, instead of panicking, she delightfully takes it as an opportunity to learn about the new world she unintentionally warped herself into, gaining her insight from the very first of these ethereal beings she makes contact with. This 'human' agrees to bestow his knowledge upon the inquisitive unicorn, under the grounds that she return the favor. What neither of them knows, however, is that life has very unusual ways of forming bonds that span across literal galaxies...

Published 2012-07-04 19:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-21 16:19:44 UTC

Who... and WHAT are you? (Prologue)

Invader! (Prologue)

Twi and Ty’s Topsy-Turvy Tours

By: TPurnell18

Invader! (Prologue)

Of all the things I’d have thought possible, this was by FAR, not one of them. “There are many possibilities in the ever-expanding universe,” was something I’d been told time and time again by various science teachers I’ve had for a good portion of my childhood. However, even they would be as dumbfounded as I was when the implausible, the improbable, and the outright crazy happened...

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Aaaand, done!” I said as I finished up an online game on my Xbox 360. “…whelp, I’m bored. What to do now…? Maybe I’ll just take a walk to kill time… or maybe aimlessly surf the internet until somethin' catches my eye…”

As I pondered what I would do to spend rest of the already-late afternoon, I noticed a dim, purplish gleam forming in the center of my room.

“What the hell…?” I asked myself in wonder. “Man, that’s what I get for starin’ at this TV screen for so long…” I muttered as I took off my glasses to wipe them with my shirt. However, the gleam was still there, and appeared to be getting brighter. I began to rapidly rub my eyes, figuring that there was something in them. Of course, that failed to be effective in the least, as the gleam was still there, getting brighter. In addition, a small gust of wind began to blow. I looked at my window to see that it was closed. I then checked my air vent. The lack of flowing air through it told me that the air conditioning was off.

"I’ll b… ack, gir…!” A feminine voice shouted vaguely, seemingly from nowhere. I looked around to realize that no one around me.

“Whoa, what? I know I ain’t high or nothin’… Ah’own even smoke…” I mumbled, scratching my head in confusion. “Somebody here?” I asked aloud. No answer. Instead, the gleam became a bright purple glow, as the swirling winds became stronger and an electric crackling sound started to come from the glow. I shielded my eyes as the glow became too bright for me to stare at directly.

*Crackle Crackle*

*Whish*

I was beginning to wonder if there was a hurricane about to form in my room, when *BOOM!* a loud, thunder-like crashing sound was made. I hurriedly ducked for cover behind my bed as the purple light quickly brightened and expanded, making the area flash a blinding white. After a few seconds, the wind, light, and crackling noises dissipated. I peeked from behind the side of my bed farthest away from the explosion to find my jaw almost dislocating in shock at what I laid my eyes on…

Now HERE'S an (Impromptu) Idea: A Field Trip!

Who... and WHAT are you?

Who… and WHAT are you?

“Wow, what a trip… That took a lot out of me… Next time, I should probably ask for help from Rarity…” a small, strange talking animal muttered to itself after emerging from what I’d guess was a portal.

“Get the f… how does somethin’ like this even…?” I whispered to myself loudly.

“Oh, hello there!” the home invader spoke aloud. I almost moved to hide myself back behind my bed, but figured I’d surrender, as the being had already spotted me.

“Um… hello,” I sheepishly replied.

“Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle! Who… and what, may I ask are you?” the strange creature asked as I crawled from cover, ironically looking as confused as I did.

“Uh… My name is Tyshawn… I’m… a human,” I barely managed to shakily murmur as I was still looking in shock at the creature standing before me and talking.

“Well, Tyshawn, I’m very sorry to have alarmed you like this. You see, I was practicing this spell I had recently learned which was supposed to allow me to travel great distances across Equestria, and I—!”

“Okay, sorry to interrupt, uhh… Twilight Sprinkles, but you don’t even have to finish that sentence for me to have a ton of questions…” I skeptically interrupted, the fear in my voice gone. “Also, you ain’t in any place called ‘Equestria,’” I added, wondering what horse-back riders had to do with Twilight’s appearance here.

“Sparkle,” the unicorn corrected matter-of-factly. “But what do you mean, ‘not in any place called Equestria’?”

“Exactly what I said... Twilight. You are not in Equestria. You are in America.”

“America? What the hay kind of country is that?”

“Certainly not one where you’re from, I’m guessin’.”

“Odd… well, I guess I’ll have to mark this down as a new kind of spell…” Twilight pondered for a minute in silence. As the creature was wondering what had happened to transport it to this place, I surveyed every inch of its small, horse-like body. It had such a strange, yet… cute look to it. Like a teddy bear, or a pet. Either way, I felt compelled to touch it. I laid my left hand on the top of its head and applied very light pressure with my fingers. It instantly became apprehensive, as I’d expected.

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked in surprise after shaking my hand off of its head and backing away.

“I’m… uh… obtainin’ knowledge… and stuff… yeah, tha’ss it.” I answered uneasily. “Other than the fact that you can talk and that you don’t look like anythin’ I ever seen before, you seem pretty tame. Are you housebroken?”

“You mean like some kind of pet?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at me.  My eyes widened in surprise at her knowledge. “Well, you’re dead-wrong if you think I’m some stray animal. I’ll have you know that I am a pony.” I almost laughed at the irony of Twilight’s statement about not being a stray animal.

“A pony, huh?” I asked while tilting my head slightly and raising an eyebrow myself. “Not sure how bein’ a pony is different from bein’ an animal… but I guess that explains the mane, horn and tail… the horn must mean you’s a Unicorn. But that don’t explain the fact that you’re purple and so are your eyes, along with the oddly… straight dark blue mane and tail with purple and pink highlights...” I leaned to the right to get a better look at the unicorn’s body. I noticed a tattoo of some sort adorned on its flanks. “Hey, what’s that starry-lookin’ thing on your butt?” I asked rather brashly. The alien’s jaw dropped a little and it blushed in embarrassment at my rude comments and question.

“You’ve got quite some nerve, talking to a lady like that,” she stated in annoyance, glaring at me. I was about to stick my foot further into my mouth with yet another idiotic comment regarding her gender and species. However, I caught myself and instead slid backward a couple of inches in apprehension. “I’ll have you know that I was born the way I am, and I’m proud of it. Also, this is my Cutie Mark,” she said, turning her body to face sideways, looking back at her flank. “It is a symbol of my super special talent. But that’s enough about me for now; what about you?”

“What? What about all the—!?”

“In due time, Tyshawn. But for now, I need to familiarize myself with my surroundings… As you can see, I’m entirely new to this country.”

“Fair ‘nuff… Quick note, though: I think you’re in a whole ‘nother world, given that you look way different from any horse on this planet and you can talk but ain’t seen a human before. Anyway, what do you wanna know?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Hmm, where to begin…? Ah! You said you were a ‘human,’ right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… what’s a human?” she asked with utmost curiosity.

“Ah, well… let’s see…” I pondered as I rubbed my chin, trying to begin a proper explanation of my species. “Okay, do you have monkeys where you come from?”

“That we do,” Twilight answered, her eyes widening in eagerness to hear what I had to say.

“Good, that will make this easier. So anyway, humans are like monkeys, but… we don’t got tails, most of us aren’t nearly as hairy, and we are able to stand completely upright on two legs, seein’ as instead of havin’ ‘fore-legs’ like you, we have ‘arms’ and ‘hands’. Also, we wear clothes on a regular basis and are also capable of speech, as evidenced by the fact that this conversation is unbelievably happenin' now. As I’m assumin’ ponies are the dominant species in your world, humans are the dominant species here. Tha’ss just the basics from my point of view, though.”

“Wow, I see…!” Twilight responded in thoughtful understanding. “Well, what about ponies? Are there ponies here?”

“Well… yes and no,” I answered uneasily. “Y’see, while there IS such a thing as horses here, ‘ponies’ of your kind would supposedly be… how you say, ‘not real.’ Interestingly enough, there’s this kids’ TV show I’m not too familiar with that your look reminds me strongly of. I think it’s called My Little Pony or somethin’ like that, and there’s tons of toys and books and whatnot based on it.”

“What!?” Twilight asked in shock. “So what you’re saying is, in this world, a world that is strikingly similar to mine is known about and visible through this… ‘TV’ device, but not tangible, or believed to be real?”

“I guess so. I’m also gonna guess that in your world, humans don’t exist, and that there’s nothin’ that even hints to us existin’?”

“100% correct,” the unicorn responded. “At least, until now, anyway... Say, seeing as there’s the possibility that my world’s already known of, has there been any research done in order to prove its existence?”

“Research?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. You know, magic tests, teleportation spells, et cetera.”

“Um… if your idea of ‘research’ includes ‘makin’ toys and merchandise for human children, girls specifically, but recently missin’ the demographic, instead attractin’ humans my age and older,’ then I’ll say it’s goin’ swimmingly!” I responded sarcastically. She let out a small chuckle.

“You’re pretty funny,” Twilight complimented. “But seriously, what about the magic? Can’t humans use magic?”

“Sadly, no. There ain’t one magic bone in our bodies. Iss all physical labor and technology for us. The closest thing to magic we have here is maybe… optical illusions and strange ways to exceed the believed physical limitations of the body.”

“How odd… you can’t even do something like this?” she asked as her horn began to glow a bright magenta and, within a second, my entire body was engulfed in the same glow.

“Whoa, what the fuuuuUUAAAAH!” I screamed as I began to involuntarily float into the air, thrashing about like a fish out of water. She levitated me over my bed, and loosened her magic grip. The glow around me disappeared instantly as I came crashing onto my bed face-down. Twilight giggled again.

“Cute,” I flatly stated with a fake smirk after lifting my head. She giggled a little more. “Ahem! Well, to answer your question: No. No we can’t do that,” I said, getting up off the bed and standing in front of her.

“Whoa, you’re huge!” Twilight said while looking up in astonishment. “Are all humans this tall?”

“Mm, not really,” I said, unsure. “I’m six feet and three inches tall, while I think the average height for humans—at least, in America, is somewhere lower. But then, there’s many other humans who are taller than I am. Some by a little, others by a lot. That, and humans have various body shapes and sizes. In terms of shape, I’m pretty lean.”

“Is that so? Interesting. I see… I’ve got a lot to… *yawn* learn… but right now, I’m worn out from that teleportation spell.”

“We only just scratched the surface on learnin’ about each other. Buuut, I assume that means you gonna be sleepin’ here rather than teleportin’ back to Equestria, huh?”

“Funny AND smart. I can tell we’ll get along just fine…” the purple unicorn whispered as she hopped onto my bed and curled herself up, and rested her head in her hooves.

“Hey, who said—?” I began, but decided not to finish my question, as I saw she was fast asleep.

“Aww, she’s adorable…” I said to myself. I looked at the clock to see it was inching towards midnight. “Man, time flies...” I took out a pair of pajamas and went into the bathroom to change into them. When I came back, I found a comfortable position next to my new unicorn acquaintance, making sure not to disturb her peaceful slumber...

Spotted: Operation G.T.F.O.H.!!

Now Here's an (Impromptu) Idea...

Now here’s an (Impromptu) Idea…

I had apparently awoken quite early, as my room hadn’t been entirely lit up with sunlight. I was usually awake at around this time for many a currently unimportant reason. I rose to look at the time on my phone on the floor. It read 5:46 AM.

“Damn, why do I always feel content with less than six hours of sleep…?” I mumbled, stretching and yawning as I sat up and noticed a lavender blob in the corner of my eye moving about. “Oh wow, so that wasn’t a dream… you really are here?” I sleepily asked.

“Well, I don’t see why I wouldn’t be, given what I told you yesterday,” Twilight answered in a somewhat insensitive tone while gazing out the window to get a good look at the small forest outside. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Okay, princess, no need to be cranky… What’re you even doin’ up this early?”

“I couldn’t sleep all that well with the knowledge that I’m in an alternate universe. I’m simply too excited about finding an entirely new plane of existence to go back to sleep! So I figured I’d just spend some time observing our immediate surroundings… or as you said, ‘gainin’ knowledge…’” she responded with a chuckle. I couldn’t help but laugh a little myself.

“Oh, haha. Makin’ fun of my accent. How rude!” I jokingly said, turning my head up and away and folding my arms in mock-offense.

“I am so terribly sorry,” she began, playing along, but not turning towards me as she was captivated by my TV and Xbox 360. “But that statement kinda stuck with me. That and your accent sounds pretty similar to a friend of mine…”

“Really, now?” I turned to her, interested. “Do I know them?” I asked, too tired to realize I was talking to a magic purple pony alien.

“Oh, I dunno… That depends on if you’ve ever been able to instantly travel amongst different dimensions and wound up in Equestria at some point in order to meet her before.”

“Oh, right… Smart-ass…” I muttered in contempt, cutting my eyes somewhere else.

“Excuse me, but there are no donkeys around here as far as I can see,” she said with a fake sense of cluelessness, apparently hearing my comment as she continued to look around. My eyes widened in surprise and a little fear as they focused on the small purple unicorn. She turned to face me, her brow furrowed.  “…Except for maybe—!”

“Stop, stop, I get it, I’m sorry” I hastily interrupted before Twilight could finish her remark. “Anyway, who’s this friend of yours?”

“Her name is Applejack. She’s a pony like me, but she doesn’t have a horn or wings. She’s an apple farmer with a strong accent that sounds similar to yours.”

“Oh, and the questions keep pilin’ up,” I flatly responded with a small twinge of sarcasm, flicking a hand in front of me.

“Well, what about my questions?” she asked with a hopeful tone as she looked up at me with an innocent, glassy-eyed stare.

“Hmm… Y’know what? How ‘bout, instead of answerin’ your questions myself, I take you with me to explore this world a little?” The unicorn’s eyes widened and glimmered like an ocean in bright sunlight as she smiled with excitement.

“That’s an excellent idea!”

“One catch, though: I’mma probably need to keep you hidden the entire time… But how will I… Oh! How about I put you in a book bag and you… I dunno, like; use your magic to see through it or somethin’?” Her look quickly turned to one of uncertainty.

“I don’t really like the sound of that, but it COULD be a viable option… one question, though; what’s a ‘book bag’?”

“One -uh the many things it’d be better to show you than tell you,” I answered as I got up and walked to my closet to pull out a large black book bag.

“Intriguing… It looks like a saddlebag, but for your kind.”

“Exactly! Now get in,” I said, opening the bag as my stomach began to growl. “…after we wash up and eat.”

“That sounds good, although I’m less than ecstatic about having to gain this experience from the inside of a human saddlebag… Why do I have to hide?”

“Um, I don’t know… Maybe it’s because you’re a magic purple talking horse with powers no one in this world’s history has ever had,” I sarcastically remarked.

“Sheesh, no need to be so mean about it…” Twilight sorrowfully complained with a puppy-dog pout. I instantly felt horrible about my comment.

“Sorry about that… I didn’t mean to upset you. I forgot that you’re new to this place,” I somberly said.

“It’s fine,” Twilight replied, seeming to forgive my rash insult. “But still, why do I need to hide?”

“It’s safer and much less conspicuous that way. Unless you know how to transform yourself into a human…?”

“I don’t unfortunately, seeing as there's no such things as humans in Equestria. Learning how to do so would take weeks at the very least, too... So, I guess this plan seems like the only reasonable one...” Twilight glumly stated.

“Aww, now don’t get all sad on me. We’re still goin’ on this adventure, ain’t we?” I asked. She perked up a bit and smiled at me. “Don’t expect us to go too far, though. I know this is a dangerous idea, and for a number of reasons, so I’mma need you to keep quiet while we’re out there. I’ll pack a notebook and a pen for you so you can write down what you see… You can write, right?”

“Of course. And before you get another question, I use magic, while other ponies tend to either use a hoof or their mouths. Although, in Equestria, we use quills and inkwells, as ‘pens’ don’t exist there.”

“You answered one question, and raised at least three more. Care to try again?” Twilight let out an annoyed sigh as she was growing impatient. “Alright, alright, le’ss go…”

Home Shenanigans!

A Field Trip!

A Field Trip!

After a fantastic morning of washing up and playing guessing games with Twilight on what she ate, we were on our way. It turns out that a pony’s diet isn’t far off from an actual horse’s, as she appeared to be a vegetarian (or herbivore, in her case). I gave her an especially large green apple to eat for breakfast. Fun Fact: Apparently, her favorite food is dandelion sandwiches. Why she likes to eat dandelions on bread, I have no clue… Must be a pony thing. She also seemed to like sweets, as I found huge teeth marks in the slice of chocolate cake I was saving in the refrigerator.

“Remember; keep quiet, and write down questions and notes for whatever you find interestin’,” I instructed the lavender unicorn as we reached the front door of my home.

“Got it, boss!” Twilight responded with delight from within the big black book bag. With that, we made our first steps outside of the house to reveal a large cul-de-sac surrounded by tall trees, cars of various shapes, sizes and colors parked in front of every nearly identical-looking house, and a pond located off to the side, behind two of the large houses. Already, I could hear a faint twinkling sound, followed by the pen scribbling furiously against the notebook.

“See anythin’ worth notin’, li’l pony?” I jokingly asked.

“Yes… EVERYTHING!” Twilight answered in a somewhat-dreamy tone, enunciating her last word.

“Good to hear. On we go, then!” I announced as I began to walk out of the cul-de-sac and into town. We walked a good two miles around the small town. There wasn’t much to see other than woods and more housing complexes, so I elected we find a livelier place for Twilight to take her notes.

“Where should we go?” Twilight asked.

“For the sake of education, my dear, we take public transportation into a large city!” I dramatically responded as we stopped at the nearest bus station to catch a bus that led into a huge, hustle-and-bustle city. I could feel Twilight’s hooves kicking gently with glee from inside the bag.

“What’s this?” the unicorn asked after we reached our first destination.

“A bus stop. We gonna wait here for a bus to take us to a city about an hour away that has more for you to study an’ look at.” I plainly replied.

“I thought you said we weren’t going too far.”

“I changed my mind.” Twilight went silent for a minute. “I promise we won’t be caught.”

“And by ‘we,’ I presume you mean ‘me’?”

“Precisely! Which is why you are gonna be makin’ NO sounds at all that might give you away.”

“If you say so…” Twilight timidly responded after taking a deep breath, the twinge of nervousness evident in her voice. With that, the bus arrived and we got on. Of course, additional twinkling and loud, rapid scribbling sounds were made from within the bag during the ride, which I INGENIOUSLY blotted out with random, frequent fits of coughing.

“Sir, are you okay? You’ve been coughing like that since you got on,” a fellow passenger, a frail-looking old woman in a white flower dress, commented.

“Uhh… yes, I’m fine. Just a li’l sore throat is all,” I lied before I quickly but carefully took off the bag and set it down on my lap. Immediately, I slapped a hand on it to get Twilight to stop making noise. This was ineffective as it spooked the unicorn, causing her to let out a small squeak in surprise. At that moment, the passenger began to eye me with extreme scrutiny, seeming to not blink for a second. I held my breath as I darted my eyes around the vehicle, looking for some sort of way to distract the old woman. My mind raced as she stared me down:

“Oh no, oh no, oh no! She musta heard Twilight squeal! WhatdoIdo, WhatdoIdo, WhatdoIdo? Umm… I know! I could just get up and move! But then she prolly gonna get real suspicious. Maybe I could just cough some more… But the fact that I stopped will prolly tip her off that I’m hidin’ somethin’… No, wait. I got it! I—!”

“You got some toothpaste on your lip, sir,” the woman flatly stated, breaking my train of thought. I let out a huge sigh of relief while quickly bringing my hand to my mouth to wipe off the toothpaste residue.

“Uh, th-thanks!” I blurted, still flustered from the discovery I’d thought she’d made.

“You’re welcome, hon,” the lady replied before turning away to talk to someone else. The rest of the ride was eerily silent, save for the roar of the bus’s engine as the vehicle moved from destination to destination in a timely order. Eventually, Twilight and I had made it to the city, luckily without being caught.

“That… coulda went more smoothly,” I mumbled as I got off of the bus.

“Ya think, Toothpaste-lip?” I heard Twilight whisper back sarcastically from within the bag I was holding in my hands. I almost responded, but then I realized we were surrounded by other people. Instead, I nonchalantly flicked the bag where I thought the unicorn’s head would be.

“Ouch…! Hey, watch it…! That was my rear…!” Twilight whispered harshly.

“Hehe… oops,” I snickered. I then put the bag properly onto my back, only to receive a hard hoof to my back after doing so. I grunted loudly as I stumbled forward a little, looking to have tripped.

“Hehe… oops,” Twilight whispered vindictively, snickering. I growled and shook my head in annoyance as I walked in no particular direction into the city. I walked around for hours, giving Twilight Sparkle perfect opportunities to observe various buildings, busy streets, and many different people. As a small bonus for her agreement to take this trip, I brought her to a nearby boardwalk that had an abundant supply of souvenir shops, food stores and even a couple of casinos, which I chose not to enter, as I was uncertain of such a negative influence existing in her world. Twilight Sparkle seemed to have never put down that pen as she scrutinized and recorded every detail she could about our surroundings. After making our way off of the boardwalk and to a local donut shop for some lunch, I set the bag down onto a table and peeked inside.

“How ya makin’ out with them notes, Twilight…?” I asked quietly.

“Splendid, Tyshawn! Oop…!” Twilight excitedly responded, almost forgetting to stay quiet. The radiant gleam in those big violet eyes could have melted hearts made of even the coldest ice, she was so adorable. “There’s so much to see in this world…! Life here seems so similar to that in Equestria, yet… so different at the same time in so many ways…! I actually think I’m almost out of space in this notebook. This adventure is no less than… awesome…!” She finished as she smiled from ear to ear.

“Tha’ss great to hear…! Say, it’s about lunch time… would you like some donuts or cake or somethin’…?”

“You have those here…?? I’d love some…!” Twilight’s eyes grew wide as she realized something. “Hey… how’d you know I like sweets…?”

“Heh heh… Don’t think I ain’t see the cake in the fridge this mornin’…” I replied with a wink.

“Oh, sorry… I-I couldn’t help myself… It was… an experiment…?” She sheepishly stammered, blushing and smiling.

“Iss alright… now le’ss get us some sweets…” I said smiling warmly as I slowly ran one hand down her unbelievably soft, vibrantly-colored mane and back. She responded to the gesture in a way akin to an actual pet (y’know, if pets could talk and show emotion in the same way humans do); she relaxed herself, arching her back as she let out a sigh of enjoyment, a look of blissful satisfaction appearing on her face. Though I was interested in her surprisingly pleasured reaction to such a simple gesture, I decided I’d question her on it later as I went to buy four glazed donuts and a large, cream-filled chocolate éclair for us to share.

“Shouldn’t we have something to drink with that?” Twilight asked as we left the donut shop. “I’m not entirely sure about you humans, but sweets are known to make a pony thirsty.”

“You’re right,” I answered. “But there’s this real good kinda drink I want, called a ‘slushy.’”

“A… ‘Slushy?’” Twilight asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Yeah. You never had one before?”

“I haven’t even heard of such a thing before…”

“Well now! Prepare to be surprised!” I stated as we headed to the nearest convenience store. I made the trip to the store quick, getting exactly what I needed, an extra-large slushy, of which I took the liberty of mixing up the flavors between grape, blueberry, and watermelon, and took two straws. After buying the drink, I sat down on a bench in a small park that was across the street from the store, setting the bag down by my side.

“You can come out of the bag now, if you want.” I said, concerned that Twilight was getting a bit cramped.

“What?? A-are you sure?” she asked back, noticeably scared.

“Well, not really… but come on, you been in that bag all day, give them legs a good stretchin’!”

“O-okay… This doesn’t seem like such a great idea, but we’ve gotten this far… So, I trust you…” she timidly said, slowly poking out her head before creeping all the way out.

“If anybody sees us or says anythin’, then you are my pet dog wearin’ a costume. And just to be safe, use the bag to cover yourself while you sit.”

“A dog?” she asked with a deadpan tone, implying that the suggestion I made was to her chagrin.

“S’all I can think of.” I narrowed my eyelids and put on a smug smile. “…especially with the way you reacted to me pettin’ you back at the donut shop.” She was speechless. She looked away, her cheeks turning a bright pink.

“I… I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she tried to deny.

“Mm-hmm… anyway, here’s what I got; four donuts- two for me, two for you- and a chocolate éclair for desse… later for us to split. Also, I got this giant fruit-flavored slushy for us to share.” If she was hungry before, she must have been ravenous then. Her eyes were so focused on the meal we had in front of us that I swore she tuned out everything I’d just said.

“Hey, Twlilight… Twlilight?” I called as she continued to stare at the donuts and éclair. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I saw a strand of drool forming in the corner of her mouth, too. I raised my hand to her ear and snapped my fingers as hard as I could. She shook with fright, as if she’d been awoken from a deep trance. “Hahah… you can ea—!” I didn’t even finish my sentence before she quickly grabbed and took a huge bite out of her first donut. More than half of the donut was gone in a single CHOMP!

“Well jeez! Keep eatin’ like that, and you won’t even get time to enjoy the thing!” I warned as I bit into my first donut. Twilight didn’t seem to hear that one either, as she let out a pleasured “Mmmmmmmm…” while staring into the sky.

“Just like how they make ‘em in Ponyville…”

“My goodness, girl, if that was that good, then I’d love to bake somethin’ for ya if I get the chance.”

“You can bake?” Twilight asked as she ate the remainder of her first donut.

“Shocker, right?” I asked back sarcastically with a mouthful of donut.

“Well, yes, actually… you don’t seem like the ‘baker’ type.”

“I see ya point. It’s more or less an occasional thing, so I don’t do it a lot.”

“Intriguing…” Twilight pondered as she bit into her second donut. She then stared inquisitively at the blue, red, and purple-swirled slushy for a good minute, eventually using her magic to levitate it towards her.

“You ain’t gonna get a good idea of what that is by starin’ at it…” I told her. “Here’s a straw.” I slid the straw into the icy refreshment and gently nudged it towards her to let her take a sip.

“…you sure this will—?”

“Just drink it. I assume you like learnin’ new things through experience.”

“I do! But I…”she began, but trailed off as I shot her an annoyed stare. “Fine… here goes nothing…” She slowly, nervously put her lips onto the straw and took possibly the slowest sip ever. Her eyes widened once the frosty liquid finally made contact with her tongue.

“Well? How is it?” I asked, intent on hearing her opinion.

“It’s… it’s delicious!” she gleefully responded. “It’s like a mix of ice cream and soda, but not quite either of them at the same time… I’d better take another sip to get a better idea…”

“Alright but be careful. Too much will—!” I cut myself off as I saw her practically inhale a large portion of slushy.

“WAAH!” Twilight shouted in sudden pain. As I expected, she immediately jerked away from it, clamping her fore hooves to the sides of her head, her eyes squeezed shut in ache as she spat some of the slushy in her mouth out and all over my blue shirt and the bench. She lost her magic grip on the cup, but I grabbed it as soon as I saw the magenta glow suddenly disappear.

“…give you brain freeze,” I finished, stifling a chuckle.

“Oww… what’s this… ‘Brain Freeze’ you’re talking about?” She asked in a strained tone as she massaged her temples to rid herself of the sudden burst of sub-zero agony.

“Brain Freeze is what happens when you eat or drink too much of somethin’ tha’ss super cold. It makes ya head hurt for a few seconds. Oh, and thanks for the new shirt design…” Twilight, finally relieved of her tiny headache, opened her eyes to see the mess she made.

“Hehe oops… sorry,” she said, trying not to laugh (and failing). “But… why does that happen?”

“I don’ really know, but I would guess that the sudden change in temperature in your mouth winds up sendin’ shockwaves through the rest of your head.” I informed her as I grabbed the slushy, sunk my own straw into it, and took a few long, careful swigs.

“Hey, save some of that for me!” Twilight demanded, clearly craving more of the icy treat.

“I AM savin’ you some… On my shirt, that is. You can have all of the slushy you spit out all over me. I’m sure you know a magic spell or two that make shirts taste good…” I quipped before taking another long drink, this time looking right at Twilight Sparkle and smiling.

“Oh, that’s a good one,” Twilight sarcastically remarked, getting up onto all four hooves. “Now give it here!” She enveloped the slushy in the same glow as before and tried to pull it away.

“No! I ain’t done yet!” I shouted, gripping the drink and pulling away.

“Neither was I!” She yelled back, increasing the strength of her spell.

“Oh, how rude of me. Where are my manners?” I sarcastically said through clenched teeth as we still struggled for possession of the drink. “You want this slushy?” I asked the unicorn in a much more calm and reserved tone, feigning concern.

“I WANT IT!” She bellowed as she got ready to lunge on me, loosening her magic on the cup to begin her attack. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the donut she didn’t finish and held it in front of her.

“Fine, but finish your lunch fi—!” I snatched my fingers away as she devoured the donut in one bite.

“Now give me the slushy!” She shouted with a mouthful of donut, jumping onto me and reaching her fore hooves towards the slushy as I raised it high in the air. I used my free hand to lift her up and gently set her back down on the other side of the bench.

“Y’know what? How about we share, like we were supposed to?” I asked, finally realizing that we were behaving in a way that might attract attention and may have already done so.

“Humph! Fine with me, but no funny business,” Twilight apprehensively replied, eyeing me up like I was a crime suspect. With that, I set the cup down onto the bench as we simultaneously wrapped our lips around a straw, not caring which one was whose, and each took a long enough drink of it to finish it in one gulp to make sure neither of us got more than the other. Bad move on both our parts.

“Ahh, t-too f-fast…!” I rasped as I clutched my forehead with one hand and shivering.

“Ow ow ow ow owww…!” Twilight whispered frantically, also shivering and rubbing her hooves on her head again.

“Hey, sir! You okay over there?” A stranger from across the park asked, apparently seeing me in my agonized state. I almost panicked as I saw him running towards me.

“Twilight, hide…!” I whispered. She quickly complied, but due to spur-of-the-moment thinking, she ducked behind the black book bag rather than teleporting into it. Not a second later, the stranger, a big, burly-looking guy with a basketball jersey and jean-shorts came to us, looking surprisingly concerned.

“You alright? I seen you grabbin’ ya head,” the stranger stated.

“I’m good. Jus’ a li’l bit of brain freeze from this slushy,” I replied, pointing to the empty cup, but then realized that there were two straws in it.

“Aww, shit…!” I thought.

“How come there’s two straws in it?” The stranger asked with a look of slight confusion. I stammered trying to find a reasonable response when I suddenly heard fake barking sounds coming from behind the book bag. I resisted the urge to face palm, instead letting out a sharp exhale and pinching the bridge of my nose. Surely enough, Twilight leapt from behind the bag, putting on the best “I’m suddenly a dog” impression she could.

“What the hell? This yo dog?” The stranger asked, flat-out bewildered at this point.

“Umm… yeah, my dog,” I uneasily answered. “She’s uh… in costume right now because we just came from… a dog show… down at the convention center…” I lied.

“Oh, aight… Dat costume lookin’ mad real, though… She cute!” The stranger complimented.

“Thanks!” I said, grabbing Twilight and hugging her as she sporadically barked like a puppy. “Her name’s… Sparkles. I call her that ‘cuz she brings a uh… sparkle to my life,” I semi-lied, pasting a goofy smile on my face while scratching “Sparkles” behind her ear. Twilight then found it necessary to suddenly lick the left side of my face. Her big, cold, wet, slushy-stained tongue slowly dragging up my face nearly froze me in place. Not from how freezing, sticky, and sopping wet it was, but from the shock. I stared straight ahead, but I swore I felt strands of her pony saliva droop as they still connected the unicorn’s tongue to my cheek.

“Aww, da’ss cute,” the stranger said with admiration, not noticing my slack-jawed, wide-eyed stupor. “I’mma leave y’all ta do ya thang. Take care uh Sparkles now!” The stranger hollered as he ran, seeming to be in a rush. I quickly fixed my face into a forced smile as I held up a peace sign as my goodbye to the man, and waited until he faded from view before turning to the lavender unicorn beside me.

“Twilight… What the heck was that?” I asked her, still in disbelief from that performance she put on.

“What? You DID say that if anypony— err, I mean anyBODY saw us, I was supposed to act like a dog,” she replied in defense.

“Yeah, that, but… I mean when you decided to LICK MY FACE… like an ice cream cone… W-What was that?”

“Oh! That… I thought that it… was necessary. You know, to make the ‘I’m a dog’ thing more… believable,” she explained with a blushing, toothy grin. I stared skeptically at her for a moment and then turned away in thought.

“That’s... actually pretty smart, now that I think about it. Good work!” I praised.

“Thank you,” She began. “But I have a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Did… did you mean it when you said I… ‘bring a sparkle to your life?’ I-I mean I’d totally understand if you were only saying that as a necessary response, given that we were both under press—!” Twilight rambled, seemingly flustered by her own question.

“Yes,” I nonchalantly interrupted. Twilight’s eyes widened and gleamed when she heard my answer. To say her smile was heart-warming would be a gross understatement.

“Really?? How?”

“…you really gon’ make me explain it?” I asked in a somewhat whining tone, shooting her a look of somber lethargy. Her look of enthusiastic anticipation convinced me of her answer. “*sigh*… well, it ain’t every day that someone pops up from another universe, for one… and everything about you I seen up to this point has been cutely— scratch that, ADORABLY entertainin’, to say the least. You only been here for a day, and I already feel like we been friends for years… and I guess… I guess I kinda enjoy bein’ the one to show you the ropes uh this world. You’re somethin’ else, Twilight Sparkle.” I smiled warmly at her, placing a hand on her head and slowly running it down her mane and back. She reacted the same way as before, relaxing her body and sitting down as she let out a pleased sigh.

“Mmm, that feels incredible, Ty…” She dreamily said.

“’Ty?’ She already has a nickname for me. How cute...”

“Y’know, I wanted to ask: Why do y—?”

“Oh, my god! A pony!” yelled someone from across the street, alarming me, but interesting Twilight. This person was a somewhat heavyset man wearing a butter-yellow T-shirt with the word “Yay!” inscribed on it in pink, blue jeans, and a pair of sneakers. He came barreling towards us with such speed and such a look of excitement on his face that it almost looked cartoonish…

A Most WONDROUS Welcome Gift...!

Spotted: Operation G.T.F.O.H.!

Spotted: Operation G.T.F.O.H.!

“Aww, crap, we gotta go!” I quickly stated as I wrapped Twilight in one arm, grabbed the book bag in my other hand, cradled them in my arms like a football, and high-tailed it out of there with extreme haste.

“Wait, why?? What about th— WHOA!” Twilight tried to hurriedly ask as I whisked her away. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but I bolted across a street adjacent to the park to escape our “predator.”

“Dude, wait! I just want to talk to her!” The stranger called after me, surprisingly keeping up. “My friends and I would LOVE to meet her!”

“Nah, we good, dawg!” I yelled back, sprinting full speed towards no particular destination except away from the guy who spotted us. I could feel the adrenaline beginning to fuel my every step as I charged forward, not caring about my own fatigue quickly setting in as sweat was beginning to drench me.

“I don’t think he wants to do us any harm! Plus, he already knows I’m a pony! Maybe we should stop and let him talk!” Twilight shakily said as she bounced around in my arm.

“And risk… exposin’ you to the… whole world? No!” I hastily objected as I ran, bobbing and weaving through small groups of people as they walked by. “I can’t…! risk you bein’ taken…! away and experimented on…! or some craziness like that!” I ran in that direction for four blocks before making a sharp right and ducking behind a tall building to catch my breath and put Twilight back into the bag. I peeked back to see the heavy man nowhere to be found.

“I thought I was supposed to learn more about this world, not hide from everyone in it,” Twilight disappointedly stated as she looked at me, visibly upset and frowning. “I don’t get why I have to hide from everyone… Especially since that guy already knew what I am…”

“You are… hah… learning… hah… But I think it’s better if… you learn undercover… hah… that way, you… hah… can get all the info you… need without bein’ bombarded… with all kinds of stuff from people… who could  possibly wind up takin’ you away to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what to you,” I replied breathlessly, but with concern for the unicorn’s safety. “You came… to me, and I want… to keep you safe.”

“I can take care of myself, y’know. I’m not a foal,” Twilight shot back, seeming to be offended by my concern.

“I understand that, Twilight, but please… trust me on this. I don’t want you to think… you couldn’t-a taken this trip on your own or… handled yourself better than I been doin’, but I… I guess I care too much t’ see anything bad happen t’ you, especially in a world… you ain’t even been to before. A hasty confession, yes, but—!”

“Please, say no more,” Twilight sternly interrupted.

“Listen, you! I—!” I began, taking a tone of frustration, but I abruptly stopped when I looked at her. Her eyes were glimmering in the afternoon sunset, tears forming in them as she gave me yet another one of her heartwarming smiles. “Y’know, that smile of yours could be dangerous…” I quietly joked as the tension I was feeling had melted away.

“How so, Ty?” She asked, climbing her way partly out of the bag to offer a hug.

“It’s just so ador— Wait, why are you callin’ me ‘Ty?’” I asked as I kneeled down to embrace the unicorn.

“I figured it’s easier to remember. You can call me ‘Twi’ so we’re even, if you’d like,” Twilight innocently suggested.

“You have no idea how many times I done got that as a reason for someone not to call me by my full name… But sure… Twi,” I quipped with a small chortle as she and I still hugged each other firmly.

“THERE SHE IS, DUDE! WITH THAT BLACK GUY!” A familiar voice screamed from down the street, bringing both the unicorn and I, now back on good terms, back into the situation at hand.

“Looks like we gonna hafta cut this moment of ours short…”  I murmured to Twilight, quickly getting up as she ducked into the bag. I zipped it shut and took off in the opposite direction of our pursuer.

“Dude, wait!” The familiar voice called after me with a tone akin to worry.

“We just want to see what’s in the bag!” Another voice shouted.

“Yeah, don’t run!” Yet another voice shouted as I heard their footsteps trailing behind me.

“Aww great… This persistent sumbitch done got his friends on me…” I growled through my clenched teeth, ignoring all of their pleas for me to stop as I sprinted away from them. They expectantly gave chase, seeming willing to follow me to Hell and back just to get their hands on Twilight. I ran to the edge of the sidewalk and made another sharp right into a shopping center’s parking lot that was filled with parked vehicles. I frantically looked for a place to hide, eventually choosing to duck behind the largest vehicle in the area.

“What’s going on out there?” Twi whispered. “Can you get away from them?”

“I ain’t sure... at this point… They seem… hah… persistent,” I answered breathlessly as I caught a glimpse at two of the men coming into the parking lot from the same direction I’d entered. I heard the sound of Twilight’s horn activating, which must have meant she was getting her own view of the surroundings.

“Where’s the third one…?” I asked myself.

“Behind you, behind you...!” Twi whispered anxiously. I heard her horn suddenly stop twinkling. I turned around and sure enough, the missing man, a rather thin fellow wearing a large light blue hoodie with a strange-looking cloud and rainbow lightning bolt design on it was creeping his way towards us. I dashed from behind the truck we were hiding behind and headed towards the supermarket it was parked in front of, but stopped, stumbling and almost falling over as I saw the heavyset guy already standing there waiting, smiling with an almost-lustful look on his face.

“Try the other way...” Twilight advised. I obeyed, quickly turning around and running some more, but I didn’t get far before another one of the trio of would-be pony-nappers popped up from behind a car in an attempt to catch me off guard. This guy seemed to be a bit more muscular than the guy in the hoodie, but he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans. However, the noticeable thing about him was his hat; it was a bright white baseball cap with a dark purple brim, but the logo on it was for some team I hadn’t seen or heard of before. The logo was a trio of light blue rhombus-shaped diamonds set up in a sideways equilateral triangular formation.

“Nrrgh… dammit…!”  I grumbled, clenching a fist in frustration as I backed away from the man in the diamond hat. “We’re surrounded… any ideas?” I whispered to Twilight, looking around frantically and backing up from the man in the hat as all three men slowly closed in on me like hungry lions on an injured antelope…

We Really DO Sound Alike...

Emergency Landing!

Emergency Landing!

“Hmm… Oh, I’ve got it!” Twilight responded. “I’m gonna cast a spell that will take us back to your home.”

“Simple, but gre—!”

“But, it will not send us directly there when I cast it.”

“What? So h—!?”

“In order for it to work, I’ll need you to accelerate yourself to your terminal velocity for approximately 5.2309 seconds after the spell is cast. You’ll notice a glow around you when you hit your maximum speed. You will also need to imagine your home the entire time you’re running, so as to make absolutely sure we will be transported there.”

“Sooo… run as fast as I can while thinkin’ about my house for five seconds an’ some change, then poof?”

“Precisely!” Twilight said, casting the spell as I saw a faint, yet familiar glow envelop me for a brief second. “But there’s something you sh—!”

“No time! Alright… Here goes nothin’!” I announced as I ran towards the parking lot entrance, the only opening I had. The three men quickly followed suit, refusing to give up their seemingly-bloodthirsty hunt. I ran across the street, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car as my pursuers had stopped on the other side of it behind me. I made a sharp left while waving towards the driver of the car as an apology. I reached the corner of the sidewalk, turned right, and sprinted as hard as I could for what felt like an hour.

“Any minute now, spell, c’mon!” I complained. Soon enough, I saw my entire body begin to take on a familiar pinkish-purple glow as I ran. I took no time to stop, knowing what the glow meant.

“There he is! But something’s up with him…” I heard a voice say. I knew it was one of the three men who were relentlessly hounding me, which provoked me to double my effort.

“Y’mean other than the fact that he’s run… wait, is he glowing!??” another one of the trio shouted as they continued their hot pursuit.

“Get ‘im before he disappears or something!” the third voice commanded.

“Almost there, Ty…! Keep going!” Twilight whispered in encouragement. I nodded, ducked my head down, and squeezed my eyes shut as I raced toward the home stretch. I could feel an electric tingling sensation all around me as I heard crackling sounds.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

*POOF*

I vanished. Everything went black as I felt like my body had been split into many tiny molecular pieces. The surprising part is that it didn’t hurt in the least. I wish I could have seen how the many different particles of my being were separated and sent off in one direction at such a blinding speed that it felt like I’d become one with the wind. However, with such spontaneous molecular deconstruction, also came the loss of all awareness and most of my basic senses. The only thing I was able to see was a faint image of my home that rapidly grew clearer and clearer. This wonderful new experience didn’t last very long, though… I’d say it lasted for just a few seconds before my body reformed in front of my house, with me blindly charging toward my door with my head down and my eyes squeezed shut.

“Ty, st—!” Twilight tried to warn, albeit too late.

*BOOM* “AWRGH!!”

Blindly running at full speed, I crashed against my door head-first, and hard. A large dent was left where the door met my forehead as I flew backwards. Knowing Twilight was in the bag strapped to my back, I quickly turned my body as I fell so as to land on my right side. “AHH-OW!” I screamed in pain as the awkward landing caused me to sprain my left wrist due to me trying to break the fall with just that hand.

“OOF!” Twilight grunted from within the bag. I moved up to a sitting position, clutching my head in extreme pain with my right hand while folding my left arm over my waist.

“Owwwww… why the fu…nnel cake did I go runnin’ into my door?” I wearily asked, my voice straining from the agony of the sudden migraine combined with the jolts of pain shooting through my left arm.

“I… was going to tell you that uh… when you envisioned your home, you probably should’ve envisioned yourself running in any direction in an open space parallel to it instead of simply bringing up the image…” the unicorn sheepishly explained as I reached behind my back with my left hand to open the zipper of the bag a little so she could make her way her way out of it. She let out a small, embarrassed giggle as she climbed out. I chuckled a little as well, especially when I saw that her mane and tail were all frazzled like someone furiously rubbed a balloon on her.

“Now you tell me… I don’t see the humor in th— Oh, god…” I said as I removed my hand from my head to be greeted with a most wonderful welcome-home gift; the palm of my hand bathed in my own blood. I froze in disbelief at the amount of the ruby red liquid staining my hand. I was more alarmed when I felt small beads of it slithering down my face and dripping off my face like sweat, staining the collar of my already slushy-stained blue T-shirt. I reached a finger up to where I felt the intense burning pain coming from to feel a huge gash streaking down the right side of my forehead, just above my eye. A simple touch was enough for me to pull my finger away and clench my hand into a fist as I flinched.

“Hey what’s wro—?” Twilight began to ask, but gasped in horror at the sight she beheld. “Oh, no! I’m soooo sorry! Let’s get in the house now so we can fix that up!” Twilight worriedly said. I tried to get up, but the impact had disoriented me greatly. My vision was getting blurry, I felt unbelievably tired, and I couldn’t even walk more than two steps without staggering and taking a knee. I tried to shake my head, but that made it much worse. I sprinkled blood on the ground from my still heavily-bleeding head wound, and I became dizzier. I almost felt as if I was going to vomit from the sudden case of nausea. It didn’t feel any better when I tried to use my left arm, with its wrist noticeably swollen, to push myself to a standing position.

“Aaaaaaaaahh…!” I hissed as I snatched my hand off the ground, falling back to a sitting position. All of this moving around was making things much worse.

“Oh, no! Please, don’t try to get up again! I’ll… I’ll teleport us into your room!” the unicorn said in a worried hurry. She placed a hoof onto my back as I heard her horn powering up.

*POOF*

We had teleported back into my room much quicker than I expected. I was too dizzy, tired, nauseous, and in too much pain to ask her any obvious questions that would have followed her seemingly easier, less painful spell being cast. She then levitated me onto my bed in a sitting position up against the wall, and made sure to take my shoes off and put them in the corner of the room.

“Okay, I need you to be very still…” she cautioned, jumping onto the bed and walking up to me. I hardly heard the unicorn talking as I was dozing off.

“But Ah’own wanna go t’ school, mommy…” I deliriously blurted. My eyelids were unbelievably heavy and my head bobbed as I fought to stay awake.

“Ohh...! umm… Mommy needs you to keep still, sweetie… okay?” Twilight whispered in a concerned motherly tone, presumably hoping that would keep me awake. She climbed onto my lap and stood on her hind hooves, using her fore hooves to position my head so I was directly facing her. Then, she bowed her head down as her horn began to glow once again. When her horn shined its brightest I’d seen since I met her, she pressed her horn against my forehead and took a deep breath. Her breath smelled faintly of strawberries and freshly baked bread. She closed her eyes and focused on her spell as her horn maintained its luminescent glow. After a sudden flash of white, my vision became clear. I noticed the pain in my head and left arm rapidly fade away, and blood ceased to flow down my face. I also felt a strange tingle as the wound on my forehead gradually closed up and healed in a matter of seconds. In addition, my wrist shrunk back to its original size. When the spell finished, Twilight let out a sharp, exhausted exhale, relaxing herself on my chest.

“Wow… that’s amazing, Twi! I wouldn’t-a guessed you was a nurse!” I praised in amazement and gratitude.

“That’s because… I’m not,” Twilight responded, out of breath. “Healing spells aren’t my… strongest point, so… using them takes a good deal of my energy as of right now… and  seeing as I used a bunch of it already…”

“Still, thank you! How can I repay you?”

“Hmm… Two things,” Twi began, recovering her composure, yet still lying down on my chest. “One, you can give me the rest of that cake you have to make up for that chocolate éclair you left at the park in the city, or two, you can give me one of those amazing rub-downs,” she joked, but I could see the sincerity in her statement with the smile she flashed me. Her large, beautiful violet eyes were half-closed; looking at me in such a way that she seemed to be expecting someone or something extra special. Twilight was silent, but her eyes just screamed, “Rub me!” I smirked.

“Ooh, tough choice… I forgot about that éclair back there…  Tell ya what: I’ll do both, because I’m feelin’ generous. But seein’ as you’re already comfortable, why not start with option two?” I said in my deepest, most soothing voice. I placed my left hand on her head and slowly, but gently ran it down her mane and back.

“Ahhh…” Twilight sighed in blissful ecstasy as she stretched herself out on my chest. I repeated the stroke time and time again, occasionally chuckling at Twilight’s unusually extensive enjoyment.

“I’ve been meanin’ to ask, Twi… why do you like this so much?” I queried.

“I’m not sure...” she replied, still in a euphoric stupor. “I’ve only ever been massaged with hooves and claws before... But those…”

“Hands.”

“…those ‘hands’ of yours… they just feel so much better… They’re a lot softer than hooves or claws…”

“Interestin’…” I said as I continued to rub her. Suddenly, an idea came to me. “Hold on, Twi. Lemme go wash my hands before I go on.” I got up and rushed to the bathroom to wash all the dry blood off of my other hand and face and returned to an eager lavender unicorn sitting on her haunches, staring at me like a puppy waiting to be fed. With great mental strength, I withheld the sarcastic remark I’d thought up about her playing the part of a dog too well. I lay down beside her in the same position as earlier, and she assumed her previous position on my stomach.

“Now that that’s out of the way, I wonder… how does this feel?” I asked, as I began to gently scratch behind her left ear.

“I… incredible…!” she practically moaned with pleasure, lying her head down.

“Wow… for a magic talkin’ horse from another universe, this girl sure does seem to like bein’ rubbed like a puppy…” I thought. “But then, what do I know about ‘ponies’? I suppose I’ll hafta wait till tomorrow when it’s my turn to ask the questions…” I decided to up the ante by running my other hand across her body as I’d been doing before while I continued to scratch her ear.

“Hmmmmmmm…” She sighed, seeming to be in total relaxation. She closed her eyes and smiled sweetly as I continued to stroke and scratch her, occasionally moaning in full enjoyment. At this point, I was beginning to feel a bit unsure about the nature of the unicorn’s contentment with this treatment. I shook it off and assured myself with a “Nah…” and continued.

“Hey, I’d hate to interrupt your relaxation, but… that spell of yours that made me run into my door… why’d we need to use that instead of the spell you used to bring us back in here?” I asked partly to ease my small sense of discomfort.

“Hmm… it was because I don’t know this world very well… and given the situation we were in, I couldn’t focus on bringing us back here myself… So I made things a bit less complicated by giving you a little bit of my magic, and then having you do the rest of the work… The fact that it made you run into the door was… something I’d only predicted, but didn’t fully expect, considering I’m usually the one doing the teleporting to a safe location when in danger… I was able to bring us directly to this room from outside because the situation was somewhat less stressful, and as far as memorization, I have this house and its immediate surroundings down packed…” Twilight dreamily answered with her eyes closed the entire time.

“Aight,” I plainly said. “I suppose that makes sense… in a nonsensical kinda way. I understand ya, though. By the way, you seem tired. You think we should hit the hay now?”

“Hay? Where?” She quietly asked, raising her head looking around, seeming very drowsy. I sighed with relief as her tired disposition put any odd… unsanitary predictions I could have made to rest.

“I meant, ‘go to bed,’ Twi,” I answered with a chuckle.

“I knew that,” She replied, yawning. “But not yet. Please, continue…” I obliged her with a nod as I laid back and she rested herself on my chest once more, and we picked up where we left off.  After a while (I’d guess about an hour as it had gotten dark outside during the massage), I felt her breathing pattern change to long, gentle inhales and exhales as she went limp on me.

“Aww, she went to sleep… good, because my arms are tired…” I murmured to myself as I let out an extensive yawn. “…and so’s the rest of me…” I gently wrapped my arms around the sleeping unicorn, shifted myself down to a more comfortable position, and drifted into a comfortable slumber, joining Twilight Sparkle in the world of dreams…

Something ODDLY Familiar...

Home Shenanigans!

Home Shenanigans!

I awoke with a stretch and a yawn, and took a look at my window to see that the sun had barely risen. I motioned to get up, but stopped when I felt something— or somePONY holding me down.

“Oh, yeah…” I tiredly said, not fully awake. “Hey, Twilight. Wakey wakey…” I quietly sang as I tapped her on the tip of her horn with a finger. That surely woke me up, because the moment my finger made contact, I felt a sudden, strong electric shock in my hand, accompanied by a loud *POP*. I flinched violently as I snatched my hand back. “SHIT…!” I rasped, shaking my now oddly-smoking hand.

“Hmm, good morning, Ty…” Twilight greeted with a smile, yawning and stretching before lifting herself partly off of me, still sitting on my stomach. “Hey, what’s wrong with your hand? Does it still hurt from yesterday?”

“Not from yesterday…” I responded, flexing my tingling fingers as I rose. “You never told me your horn hurt so much while you was asleep…”

“Oh… Sorry. When a unicorn dreams, his or her horn involuntarily surges with energy. How much energy it surges with depends on the vividness and strength of the dream. I was having an awesome one, too. It’s pretty unwise to touch the horn of a sleeping unicorn, y’know.”

“Now you tell me… Which reminds me: You owe me an explanation of your world and what goes on there.”

“You’re right… but just like how it was better for you to show me a little bit of this world, how’s about I see if I can take you to Equestria for a bit myself?”

“Awesome!”

“But not before you give me a little more information about this world. That, and take a look at my notes and answer the questions I wrote in it.”

“Fair ‘nuff. What, did you want to go back to the city?”

“No, no… This time, I just want to get a better idea of what a typical home looks like here.”

“I thought you said you had this house and its immediate surroundings down packed…?”

“I do… but only the outside, the bathroom, this room, and your kitchen. I’ve yet to get a full tour of the inside of this house.”

“You got a point. Okay, le’ss wash up and then I’ll show you.” After we cleaned ourselves up and I lazily threw on a black t-shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts with large red stripes going down the sides, I gave her a quick tour of the house, showing her every room upstairs and downstairs as I briefly described their purposes. She already knew most of everything I was talking about, which seemed to make this pointless. Afterwards, we went back into my room.

“I see that homes in this world are almost exactly like homes in Equestria, except for the big black boxes in some of the rooms…” Twilight said.

“What, you mean the Televisions, cable boxes, modem, router, and video game systems?” I asked as I sat back down on the bed.

“If that’s what those boxes with the lights on them are called, then yes. Kind of like the ones in this room I saw when I first came here. What do they even do?”

“Well basically, one of them shows images that people record on these things called cameras, while the other one creates images of its own, which are able to be manipulated by something called a controller. The images the second box produces are only able to be seen when it is connected to the first box with wires. See where I’m gettin’ at?” She stared at me, completely bewildered like I was speaking another language. “…I see that all I managed to do was discombobulate you. Awright, time for a demonstration.” I turned on the TV, which brought up a channel showing highlights from last week’s NBA basketball games. “Now are ya startin’ to get it?”

“Whoa…! I thought you humans weren’t capable of magic. How’d you get those other humans stuck inside of there?” Twilight asked in shock.

“This has nothin’ to do with magic,” I explained. “And these guys ain’t trapped inside of the TV. What you’re seein’ right now is a series of movin’ images that were recorded, kind of like how you record memories into your brain, and projected through this TV, as well as any other TV that people want to have the same images projected through. Get it now?”

“I… I understand enough to get what you’re saying,” Twilight stated with uncertainty. “But it still sounds like magic to me. Especially since you mentioned how this is similar to recording memories. Also, we have cameras in Equestria, but the images they capture aren’t nearly as… well-defined as this appears to be. They especially don’t move quite so fluently, either. I’m additionally surprised to see that sports like basketball exist here.”

“…Really now? Equestria seems to be lackin’ in terms of technological advances… But then, you ponies have magic and/or natural flight abilities to make up for it, while we humans do not. Here, people have invented new things to make life easier, and are still doin’ so this very day.”

“Ahh… So much to learn, yet so little time…” the unicorn murmured.

“Anything else you’d like to see before we get to your notes?”

“Hmm… yes. I’d like to see how this second box of yours works…”

“Okey doke,” I said as I turned on my Xbox 360 and handed Twilight the controller. When the intro for the system came on, she was astounded. Her jaw hung open in amazement. She had such a look of childlike enthusiasm on her face that I couldn’t help but laugh a little. After the intro was done, the game system went through its usual motions of reading the disc inside, then going to the dashboard with the message *Meesta Blackmon has signed into Xbox LIVE* inscribed on the bottom of the screen.

“Meesta Blackmon? Who is that?” Twilight asked as she enveloped the controller in her magic.

“That’s uh… the name I use when I play,” I answered with a sheepish chuckle.

“Interesting…” She said as she twirled the controller, enveloped in her magic and hovering, around while examining it.

“This thing is used for entertainment purposes. Would you like to play a game?”

“Sure…”

“Okay, I’ll start you off with somethin’ simple…” I said as I took the controller from her to find and load up a game called “Super Meat Boy.”

“Super… Meat Boy?” Twilight asked, perplexed.

“Yep. It’s a simple run-and-jump game about a sentient cube of meat trying to rescue his lady friend that only needs you to press three buttons out of the 20-somethin’ on this controller. It’s a great start for you!” I told her as the game loaded up. One extravagantly cartoonish scene after another later, I put Twilight right into the game. I gave her the controller and allowed the game itself to teach her how to play. I have to admit, I was more eager to see how she’d even play the game without fingers, but she somehow managed. She simply laid the controller down on the ground and pushed the buttons with the tips of her fore-hooves. As for her performance, she did quite well for her first time, quickly getting the hang of the game’s simple mechanics. She made a few mistakes here and there, but her hoof work was incredible. It was almost like she had fingers. She cleared the first 20 levels in the game with no problem.

“These ‘video games’ are pretty fun!” She exclaimed. “But this one’s a little too… easy for me. Got anything a bit more challenging?”

“Oh, is that so? How about we up the ante a little…?” I said with a mischievous grin. “Press the blue X button.” She did so, and the world map in the game changed from a peaceful forest setting to one where everything was on fire, and none of the levels showed that they were complete. “Hard mode activated.”

“Oh, so you don’t think I can handle something a little more challenging, huh?” Twilight asked. “Well, Ty, prepared to be proven wrong.” I knew she’d be eating those words in a few minutes. As I expected, the amount of times I saw her mess up rose dramatically. She was determined to surprise me, however. Especially because I couldn’t hold in my snickering at every time she died in the game. She grunted, groaned, and complained at each mistake she’d made that wound up sending Meat Boy flying into a buzz saw or falling into a bottomless pit and being forced to restart the level. At one point, her horn was glowing as if she was going to blow up my TV. She eventually got stuck on a level for a good 20 minutes before she finally rage quit.

“I’m glad YOU’RE having a good time over there!” she yelled, her mane frazzled with stress.

“I-I’m sorry, Twi! But I w-was hopin’ you’d p-prove me wrong!” I choked out through fits of laughter. She growled at me.

“You know what? Why don’t YOU give this headache of a game a try?”

“Sure, I’ll humor you. I’mma make this look easy, too. And I’m gonna start from the first level.” I boasted. Surely enough, I made it through level after level, not making as many mistakes as Twilight did… that is, until I got to the level she’d gotten stuck on, where I’d gotten stuck on it almost twice as long as she did.

“Grr… Dammit…!” I angrily rasped as I died for the umpteenth time. I could hear the purple unicorn laughing at my hypocrisy, but I did my best to tune it out as I died again and again. “Oh, my F—…! Daaah, come on!” I complained, finding a ridiculous excuse for every time I screwed up in the game. With a stroke of luck, I eventually managed to beat the level I was stuck on.

“See? Makin’ it look easy!” I proclaimed with a false triumphant smile. The vein protruding from my forehead told a different story.

“Ha! You look about as angry as I was,” Twilight responded through her laughter. “If not angrier.”

“Nah, yo! I swear your laughin’ was messin’ me up!” I brazenly lied, making the unicorn laugh even harder as she went belly-up on the floor. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. “You know what? Take this!” I playfully said as I poked her belly. She flinched, but was still laughing.

“Don’t do that! I’m ticklish!” She said as she giggled.

“Oh, well you shouldn’t-a told me that,” I replied as I got off of the bed and onto the floor to give her the old tickle torture.

“No! W-wait! Ple-he-he-he-ase!” She begged. I ignored her pleas as I tickled her into tears of laughter. A few seconds of tickling later, I saw her horn light up, followed by the magenta-colored glow enveloping me.

“WHOA!” I screamed as I flew into the air and crashed on my bed. “I take it you don’t like being tickled…?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Not… at… all…” Twilight answered, out of breath. “That was fun... and I think… I’ve gotten enough information to suit me… for now, anyway. Now, let’s… look at the notebook."

“Aight. Bring it here,” I said, prompting Twilight to fetch the notebook from inside of the book bag on the floor. She tossed it to me with a hoof and hopped onto the bed with me. I quickly flipped through the pages of the book to see that she managed fill up almost every page (front and back) with neatly organized cursive handwriting (or, hoof-writing… or something like that). I whistled in amazement as I closed the book.

“That’s a lotta notes an' questions… And you wrote it all in cursive... Amazing.”

“I’m a very studious mare, Ty. Had we gone beyond that big city and not had those little run-ins, I’d probably have had a lot more.”

“Right… sorry about that,” I glumly said, rubbing the back of my head.

“It’s fine. Besides, that whole day was really fun!” Twilight said with cheer. “Now, as for my questions…”

“Okey doke,” I agreed, reopening the notebook to the first page. “Let’s see here… ‘What are those big shiny things with the wheels on them…?’ Those, my dear lavender friend, are ‘cars.’”

“Cars?” Twilight asked with a head tilt.

“Yeah. They are a method of transportation for us humans. The average human can only run at a speed somewhere between 6 and 10 miles per hour. Cars are able to move more than ten times that speed.”

“Ohh, I see! They’re like carriages, but without the need for ponies— or ‘humans’ to pull them!”

“Exactly! Also, the terms that apply to humans are ‘person’ for singular, and ‘people’ for plural. Now what else do you have here…” I asked as I searched through the book for more questions. Thank goodness this pony had a whole lot more notes than questions, which I assume meant that she was able to answer the majority of her own questions during the trip. “Ahh, here’s one… ‘What is a human’s diet…?’ Well, Twi, most humans are omnivores.”

“Omnivores? Wow, that type of diet is extremely rare amongst citizens of Equestria! All ponies are herbivores, but some of the animals we have there, such as dragons and maticores, are carnivorous.”

“So mythological creatures actually exist there, huh? Interestin’… Okay, next… ‘Whose job is it to change the weather in this world?’… That’s a weird one. The weather changes completely on its own here.” The unicorn’s eyes widened in shock.

“Seriously?? In my world, the Pegasi, which is the plural term for Pegasus in case you were wondering, are totally responsible for everything weather-related but the movement of the sun and moon.”

“Ya don’t say? How bizarre…” I murmured as I gave her a confused look. “Anyway, what’s next…? Ah; ‘Is there a ruler of America? If so, are they a deity?’ Yes, there technically is a ruler of America, but not in sense of a dictator or monarch. Here, we have a President, tons of government officials, and a voting system that allows the general population to choose who they want as leader. And no, they are not a deity. They are just as human as I am. In fact, I personally don’t believe there is such a thing as a ‘god’ of any kind in this world. But, there are many others throughout this planet that follow many various philosophies, theories, and everything in between on the existence of a god, or of many gods. It’s pretty complicated, Twi.” She stared at me with a most intense look of bewilderment.

“…wow,” She finally managed to squeak out. “I am familiar with the type of government you’re talking about, as Ponyville, the town I live in, has a mayor who has the same types of officials under her, as well as being chosen by the citizens of the town, but… the possible nonexistence of a supreme ruler…? I can’t even begin to fathom what that would be like… Not to mention what you said about there being different paths of thought on the existence of one or more… mind-blowing, to say the least. In Equestria, we have two Goddesses ruling over our fair land. They are also Princesses, so they have very strong influence on all kinds of things, from international relations, to simple laws and rules in each city in Equestria.”

“I see… Okay, one more before we make the trip. That sound good?”

“Why stop so soon?” Twilight asked, showing a bit of disappointment.

“I’ll look through and answer more questions later if you want. Besides, from the looks of the notes you took, you seem to be very good at answerin’ your own questions,” I assured. “I’m mainly lookin’ for questions that your notes may not answer for you. Now let’s see here… ‘Who raises the sun and moon in this world?’ Kind of an odd one… Well, Twi, I will tell you that the moon moves all by itself, and that the sun don’t move at all; instead, this planet moves around the sun!”

“WHAT??” Twilight asked with extreme shock. “But… how?? That can’t be scientifically possible!”

“Oh, but it is… What, do your Princess/Goddesses move the sun and moon around in your world?” I asked sarcastically, smirking.

“Well… yeah, actually. One is known as Princess Celestia, the Goddess of the Sun and Daylight. The other is known as Princess Luna, the Goddess of the Moon and Night. I'm actually a student directly under Princess Celestia. She's taught me everything I know about magic, and in turn, I study the magic of friendship and report my findings to her. This little detour has proven rich in valuable information, and it's all thanks to you, Ty!” My smirk dropped immediately into an idiotic slack-jawed stare.

“…we’re goin’ to Equestria,” I said in a dramatically low, deep voice. I had forgotten to eat or even put on shoes due to my excitement for going to another world— no, another UNIVERSE. “Let’s go!” I said with noticeable excitement. “Oh, and bring the notebook with you so I can answer any questions you have about this world while we’re in yours.” Twilight nodded in agreement as she grabbed her notebook.

“Alright. I'm not entirely sure this spell will work the same way as it did when it brought me here, and it may take a bit more concentration, seeing as I'm bringing you along with me. Cross your... fingers, and prepare to be amazed!” Twilight announced as she placed a hoof on my leg and picked the notebook up in her mouth as she powered up her horn, and with a *POOF*, we were gone…

Rumors...

A Most WONDROUS Welcome Gift...

A Most WONDROUS Welcome Gift…

Again, the exhilarating feeling of being instantly ripped apart into tiny molecules (if that doesn’t sound painful) consumed me as we were on our way the magical land of Twilight Sparkle’s kind. This trip lasted a bit longer than I expected, but I assume it was because we were going much further than just a few towns away in the same universe. Just like last time, everything around me was black and silent, save for a vague image of what looked like a giant tree with a door, windows, and a balcony on it. This trip lasted for what felt like an hour before we finally arrived.

“At last! Home sweet… Um, what are you doing?” Twilight asked with contempt as she looked at me and saw me hunched over on the ground, ducking for cover.

“I ain’t tryna run into no more doors again!” I cautiously responded.

“Well, you can relax now, because we’re here. As you can see, this trip didn’t need you to do any running.” She had me there. I lifted my head to see a most colorful landscape. Everything was so… vibrant and incredibly flamboyant. I looked around and spotted a town in the distance that looked like a typical medieval village, but as it seemed, everyone I could see was some sort of Horse, Pegasus, or Unicorn with a coat color unnatural to a horse in my world. In addition, their eyes were so big and shiny, with irises of colors I’d never thought to have been possible. I also saw that each of them had some sort of tattoo adorned on their rears, every one of them unique in that they were pictures of seemingly random things. I thought back to what Twilight said about “super special talents,” and was quickly able to figure out what they meant.

“Well, are you going to keep gawking into space, or are you going to come in?” Twilight asked impatiently from her door, snapping me out of my trance.

“Oh! Uh… coming!” I replied as I got up to follow the unicorn into what I assumed was her home. Of course, seeing as Twilight was much smaller than I am, so was everything else here. I barely fit through the door, being forced to crawl in. I was relieved to see that the inside of this tree-house thing was at least a little bit roomier than the doorway, but what I saw shocked me; the place looked like a sort of library, but if the library was also a home for the owner. Given that we were inside of a large tree, all of the furniture was made of wood.

“Sooo… This is my home,” Twilight began.

“I figured that,” I said. “You sure wasn’t lyin’ when you said you was a studious mare… This is a LOTTA books to keep in your house…”

“That’s partly because my house also serves as the town library.”

“Ohh… so I assume you’re the librarian here?”

“Yes, technically. But my real job is to research and study the magic known as friendship. This place serves as sort of a base of operations.”

“Twilight? You’re back! Finally!” I heard a voice call from the top of a staircase. What I saw running down those stairs confused the hell out of me. A big purple-and-green lizard with green eyes and a green Mohawk-styled set of scales trailing over the center of his head that led down to the end of his tail, as well as some green scales of a similar design on the sides of his head. He walked upright on two legs, and had the voice of a 10-year-old human boy. “Uhh… I see you brought company…” He said, giving me an unsure look, obviously not knowing what I was.

“Hi, Spike!” Twilight greeted the lizard happily. “I’ve brought a visitor from another land far beyond the reaches of Equestria. He showed me around his world while I was gone, and now it’s my turn to show him around ours! Go ahead and introduce yourself!”

“Okay… uh… Hi. I’m Spike. I’m a dragon. I’m also Twilight’s #1 Assistant,” Spike timidly said, approaching me with extreme caution.

“Wassup? I’m Tyshawn,” I replied nonchalantly with a nod as I kneeled down to offer him a handshake. His… claw, I guess I should call it, was hardly bigger than a kitten’s paw, so I just used my thumb and index finger to shake his claw with.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, seemingly over his nerves.

“Likewise.” He turned to Twilight with a look of confusion on his face.

“What… is he??” he asked.

“He’s what is known as a ‘human’ in his world. Where he comes from, his species is the ruling kind, just like ponies are here. His world is wildly different from ours, but strikingly similar at the same time.” Twilight answered as if she were teaching a class. "Oh, and I wound up going to a different universe instead of a different city when I used that spell the other day..."

“I see…” the purple dragon murmured as he took a good look at me. “You’re huge! How do you expect to go walking around Ponyville without anypony panicking and thinking that you’re some sort of monster?”

“…y’know, tha’ss a good point…” I answered. “Hey Twilight, how am I supposed to blend in here?”

“Hmm… You’re much too big to fit into any saddlebag…” She began. I chuckled a little at her saddlebag thought. The unicorn went silent as she thought for a minute. “If hiding you isn’t an option, then… OOH! Spike!" She said, pointing towards one of the many bookshelves with her hoof. "Hand me that copy of—!”

“Anthology of Anatomy, coming right up,” Spike finished excitedly, already on his way to retrieve the oh-so-convenient book Twilight was about to ask for. He quickly found it and handed it to Twilight. She levitated the book towards her with her magic as she opened it to a seemingly random page.

“Now let’s see here… Ponies... Stallions. Here we go,” Twilight mumbled as she read.

“What…? Why would…?” I mumbled. A sudden idea had hit me as for why Twilight needed that book. I was skeptical, so I brushed the thought away with a “No way…”

“Mm-hmm… Mm-hmm… Okay! Spike, please get me the copy of ‘Magic Guidelines and Guiles Volume Two, Sixth Edition',” Twilight requested.

“…wait, WHAT???” I asked in total disbelief as the idea I’d ignored was now the only thought in my head. “You don’t SERIOUSLY PLAN ON—!?”

“…Turning you into a pony, yes,” Spike finished matter-of-factly as he fetched another book from a shelf and handed it to the unicorn. Again, she magically flipped to a seemingly random page and carefully read the contents. I was so scared out of my mind of what could possibly happen with something as outlandish as being magically transformed into an animal from a completely different universe that I was trembling.

“…Hold on! Is this safe?? I-is it gonna hurt?? W-w-will I be stuck that way??” I asked in rapid succession, overcome with terror.

“Yes, it’s safe… I think. No, it won’t hurt… well, maybe a little. And no. It says here that this spell is temporary and that you’ll be a pony for a maximum of one week, or until any point during that time you’d want me to change you back.”

“You are DEFINITELY convincin’ me…” I quipped, trying to build a shield of sarcasm.

“Well… to be perfectly honest with you, Ty… this is the first time I’m trying this… You should consider yourself lucky! The first thing you get to do here is become a test subject for an experiment of mine!” Twilight said with excitement, trying to cheer me up, seeming to ignore my obvious fear of such a procedure.

“You and your experiments,” I shot back. “Remember the first experiment you tried on me? Y’know, the one that made me get into that losin’ fight with my door?”

“Relax! At the very least, you know it worked!” She yelled. “Besides, the second experimental spell, the one I used to heal your injuries from said ‘fight’, worked like a charm! Now stop being such a foal and let me try this!”

“…I don’t suppose there’s any changin’ your mind on this, then, huh?”

“To be blunt, Ty… nope! This is an opportunity I just CAN'T afford to pass up! Now let’s get this started,” the unicorn commanded as she set the book down and charged up her horn.

“Whoa, wait! Ain’t there some kinda prec—!” I tried to spit out, but I was interrupted by an impact from a magenta-colored beam of energy. I levitated into the air as my arms and legs were forced to be straightened out…

_____________________________________________________________________________

Now, to say that this spell hurt would be a SEVERE understatement. You ever have one of those times where every bone, organ, and muscle in your body was slowly contorted, separated, and reformed into the shape of another animal? No? Good for you, because what I am about to say here will likely sound pretty graphic…

______________________________________________________________________________

“AAAAAAAAAGH!” I shouted intense agony as my limbs were the first to undergo the transformation. I felt my hands and feet curl up and seemingly disappear into my wrists and ankles, respectively. Next, the nubs where my hands and feet used to be were stretched out to form large, flat circles that hardened on the surfaces. Next, my arms and legs stretched out in separate directions on their own and with a series of eardrum-shattering *SNAPS* and *POPS*, were detached and twisted in the opposite direction at each connection point. This was by far, the worst of it. Thankfully, this horrible pain subsided as quickly as it started, as my limbs felt like they’d healed completely in just a few seconds after they were reset. I'm guessing that was because they went numb...

“Uhh, Twilight… he seems to be in a LOT of pain… You sure this will work?” I heard Spike ask with concern.

“I’m positive that this will work,” Twilight replied. “I just never thought that the spell would cause this much pain…” she finished with a guilty tone.

The next thing I’d felt was my insides shifting around in my body. Every muscle, every organ, and every bone was being detached, reshaped, and/or shifted in one way or another to change my form into that of a horse (or “pony,” in this regard). I felt like I was being subjected to some kind of cruel medieval torture. I let out another wail of despair as the spell worked its seemingly-sadistic magic. I just wanted to pass out and let the spell finish without me feeling it. That’s exactly what I was going to do, too, until I heard Twilight's voice.

“It’s almost over, Ty! Hang in there!” Twilight shouted, jolting me awake for no reason I could explain. The next step was the changing of the formation of my head. This part, while thankfully taking the least amount of time, came with an added effect I wasn’t expecting; my clothes were stretching and fusing onto my body. Every part of my head began to reform itself into a different shape, which caused a migraine like I’d never had before. That was done in a few seconds, but the throbbing pain stayed. My ears shifted to the top of my head and took on a pointed shape, my hair grew longer, my eyes got larger, and my mouth and nose were pulled outwards and reformed into a muzzle. The last thing that happened was that my shorts and shirt seemed to begin covering and wrapping tightly around my entire body, save for my eyes, mouth, nostrils and hair. In addition, once my clothes fused into me, I felt a large plethora of tingles and stings all over me, which I’d assumed was the fabric turning into a fur coat. I especially felt the tingling sensation from just above my rear. Lastly, I felt my now pony-fied body shrink considerably, and with a sudden *CRASH*, the transformation was finally complete. The magic suspending me in the air subsided, and I landed on my back with a thud, panting heavily as the migraine took its toll on me.

“Quick! Help me get him to my…” was all I’d heard before I blacked out...

Reclusiveness... Begone!

Pony-fied!

Pony-Fied!

I slowly awoke to find myself in a bed with an outer space-themed blanket on it. I moved to place a hand on my forehead, but jumped out of the bed and fell onto the floor when I realized what I was looking at.

“AAH! What…?” I almost asked, but then it all came flooding back to me; I’d been painstakingly turned into a pony. “Oh, right…”

“Oh, good! You’re awake!” Twilight happily announced as she cantered over to help me up.

“Yeah… remind me t’ NEVER let you do anythin’ like that again,” I groggily replied as I looked down at my new hooves.

“Aww, c’mon… It wasn’t THAT bad, was it?”

“Depends on if you’ve ever been ripped apart and turned into a completely different animal before…” I bitterly quipped, cutting my eyes at her.

“You got me there… sorry, I didn’t know! I-it was an honest miscalculation! All part of the scientific process!”

“Yea, okay… hey, why doesn’t everything hurt?”

“I used another healing spell on you just in case anything drastic happened to you while you were unconscious. I’m relieved to see that you’re alright… Do you want to see what you look like?”

“Sure.”

Twilight didn’t hesitate to bring me a large mirror to examine myself with. I found my look to be… odd, compared to the ponies I’d seen (given that Twilight and the vague glimpses of the local townsfolk were all I had as references). Whereas every pony had a solid, usually-bright coat color, mine was jet black, but with four large red stripes trailing up the backs and sides of my hind legs from my hooves. I also noticed that my eyes, instead of being a dark brown, were now a lighter, more golden-brown. My… mane, I guess, was formed into a medium-sized afro with long, very curly hair lining the back of my neck. My new tail had the same dark, puffy texture. I didn’t see any horn or wings, which was kind of disappointing, but I couldn’t complain. I took a look at Twilight standing next to me and noticed that, even though I’d shrunk, I was still a bit larger than she was. The thing that really caught my eye was the tattoo that appeared on my flanks; a white comic book-styled thought bubble.

“Sooo, how do you like it?” Twilight asked.

“Not gonna lie; this is pretty cool!” I answered enthusiastically.

“Good! What do you suppose your Cutie Mark means, though?”

“My wha…? Oh, right! The tattoo thing… Hmm… Well, I did always find enjoyment in thinking about everything and givin’ advice to friends who needed it… But mainly, I’d find myself thinkin’ about ways to do somethin’, dependin’ on the situation I was in. Otherwise, I’ll sometimes lose myself in my own train of thought when I’m alone. Basically, I’d like to see myself as a pensive kind of pers— I mean, pony.”

“Interesting…”

“So, when you plan on showin’ me around this place?”

“As soon as I’m sure you’re able to walk and run like a pony. I hypothesize that, because you were a human and you’re now a completely different species of life-form, you’ll probably have some difficulty with basic pony movements.”

“No way! Humans can crawl, and I hypothesize that this won’t be as hard as you sayin’ it might be!” I challenged.

“Okay, Mr. Daring,” Twilight said with a smirk as she walked to the other side of the room. “Come here,” she ordered, motioning a fore-hoof in a come-hither motion. I smirked as I tried my first steps as a pony. A problem arose immediately. I’d been so used to bending my knees forward that when I tried to move my hind legs in the same way, they locked up. I also forgot that I was so used to my arms bending towards my body that my fore-legs also locked up. I fell flat on my face, my rear sticking high into the air.

“What the…?” I growled with my face still firmly planted on the floor. The combined laughter of the lavender unicorn and the purple dragon, who was sitting on the bed, was no help. “I hate’cha… Hate’cha both…” I moaned with a sigh, finding myself unable to move from this embarrassing position. Spike jumped off the bed to help me set myself up again, still laughing.

“Care to try again?” Twilight asked, stifling a giggle.

“Yea. I see my problem already… My fore legs and hind legs bend in the opposite directions of what I’d expect, which is throwin’ me off. This DOES sort of feel like crawlin’ as a human, but I’m s’posed to be usin’ more o’ my front legs to keep me steady rather than relyin’ on my back legs to do so.”

“Interesting… Now let’s see you put your theory to the test! Try again.” On her command, I began to move, keeping my theory in mind. I started with my right fore-hoof. Then my left hind-hoof, followed by my left fore-hoof, after which came my right hind-hoof. I quickly saw the pattern and internalized it as I approached the lavender unicorn with ease.

“I’m impressed! You’re a quick learner!” Twilight cheered as she patted my afro-mane with a hoof. “Wow, your mane is just about as puffy as Pinkie Pie’s…”

“Pinkie who?”

“A friend of mine I’d like you to meet later. But there is one more lesson I need to teach you before w—!” Twilight said, but she cut herself off as her jaw dropped in shock. “You’re able to do that already??”

“What?” I asked as I galloped around the room a couple times before slowing myself to a trot, then stopping completely in front of the lavender unicorn.

“Lesson complete!”

“Alright! What do I win?” I jokingly asked.

“A no-expense paid trip around the fair town of Ponyville!” Twilight answered, matching my joke with another.

“No expense-paid? Darn! Oh well, let’s go!”

“Wait! One more thing,” Twilight began. “Spike, take a letter.”

“With gusto!” Spike enthusiastically answered as he grabbed a feather and a piece of paper.

“Alright. Dear Princess Celestia... The latest spell I learned, the spell that was supposed to let me instantly transport myself to different places like Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus, and even Canterlot, I am sorry to say was a failure in that department. However, this same spell instead let me travel to someplace where nopony has gone before. I am delighted to inform you that I may have discovered intergalactic travel! I have even brought a guest from the universe I visited, as well as a plethora of notes! I wish to show him around Ponyville before bringing him to Canterlot to discuss his knowledge with you, if that is okay. Faithfully Yours, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Aaaaand done!” Spike declared as he finished writing down Twilight’s words. He then rolled the letter into a scroll and, with a strong breath of green fire; he burned the scroll to sparkling vapors that flew out of a nearby window.

“…What was the point of that?” I asked, confused. “Why write a letter, and then burn it up?”

“The letter didn’t actually burn,” Spike answered.

“You see, Ty, when Spike breathes fire on a letter, it is dematerialized and sent instantly to Princess Celestia, where it will reform itself for her to read. Spike here is a sort of messenger. Through him, I am able to send and receive letters with The Princess,” Twilight explained.

“Ahh, wow, so Spike’s like your personal magic mailma— mail-dragon?”

“Exactly!” As Twilight answered me, Spike’s cheeks ballooned like a chipmunk’s.

“Why ya makin’ that— WHOA!” I shouted as I ducked under the dragon’s sudden fiery burp. I felt something land in my afro-mane almost immediately after he was done belching.

“Wow, she responded pretty quickly!” Twilight excitedly announced before grabbing the foreign object out of my mane with her mouth. She took the scroll into her hooves and opened it to read its contents:

Dearest Twilight Sparkle,

While it is unfortunate to hear that your spell did not work the way you’d intended, it is most wonderful to hear that you’ve discovered something entirely new with it! In all my millennia, I have never heard of a pony being able to travel outside of one plane of existence and into another one! You never cease to amaze me, my Most Faithful Student, and I hope to meet this intergalactic friend of yours soon.

Yours Truly,

Princess Celestia

I was completely unable to process what just happened as my mouth fell open and I just gawked stupidly at the unicorn.

“I understand that this is a lot to take in, but we’ve got to give you a tour around the town! Let’s go!” Twilight commanded, snapping me out of my stupefied trance. I moved to follow her, but then my stomach growled very loudly.

“Oh, right… I was in such a hurry to get here that I forgot to eat,” I sheepishly informed the unicorn with a toothy grin.

“Well, that,” she began as her own stomach began to growl. “…definitely tells us where we’re going first. Onwards, to Sweet Apple Acres!”

“Mmm… Apples…” I hungrily said as we headed out the door and into the town of Ponyville…

PAAAAAR-TAY!!!

We Really DO Sound Alike...

We Really DO Sound Alike…

The town of Ponyville was quite the sight to behold up close as Twi and I walked through. Everywhere, there were candy-colored ponies of all ages and… races, I guess, with tattoo— I mean, “Cutie Marks,” going about the various routines and tasks of their day. The environment was almost something I’d only seen and read about in history books; completely dirt roads devoid of any traffic light or motor vehicle and buildings made of milky-white cobblestone with unbelievably medieval designs to them, and even stands that sold various necessities such as fruits, vegetables and flowers. Shockingly enough, there seemed to be modern-day inventions here, as I saw a little orange filly with spiky purple hair and a blue riding helmet zooming by on a scooter.

“Sooo, how do ya like Ponyville so far?” Twilight asked.

“It’s incredible…! But so odd at the same time…” I answered, perplexed by everything around me. “Everything here looks so archaic… but then I’m seein’ stuff that I wouldn’t expect of a place that seems so old-fashioned…”

“Old-fashioned? I’m not sure what you mean. Ponies have lived this way for a very long time. I suppose it seems ‘old-fashioned’ to you because your world is a bit more… advanced than this one is in some aspects.”

“Yea, I guess. Hey, are we close to this Apple Acres place?”

“That we are! It’s right over there,” Twilight answered as we approached a large field that was covered in apple trees with a big red barn in the distance. The place seemed no different than any farm I saw in my world, which shocked me even more. Something clicked in my brain the second I saw the many apples.

“Wait a minute… I take it we’ll be meetin’ this friend o’ yours… Applejacks, I think?” I asked.

“Applejack,” Twilight corrected. “And yes, you finally get to meet the pony who sounds like you!” She said with a smile. As we walked into the field through the gate, we were greeted with a “Howdy!” from an orange mare with a cowboy hat and a blonde mane and tail that were… ironically tied up in ponytails. Right before she came over to us, she kicked a large, sturdy tree with both of her hind-hooves, causing every apple in it to fall into two baskets nearby it. My eyes widened in surprise.

“Hi Applejack!” Twilight responded to the green-eyed mare with a smile.

“An’ who’s this tall dark feller here?” she asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but Twilight interrupted right away.

“This is… Ponder Memoir!” Twilight answered for me, causing me to shoot her a confused look. She winked at me, which I read loud and clear. I suppose ‘Ponder Memoir’ would become my pony nickname here so I could better fit in. I guess telling anyone here my actual name would be a bit unusual, not to mention cause suspicion. I wasn’t sure why, but given that the two ponies I’d known up to this point were named for something having to do with their special talents, I assumed that was the case for everyone here.

“Uhh, yes, I’m Ponder Memoir. But you can call me Ty. How ya doin’, Applejack?” I shakily said, holding out a hoof.

“Howdy, pardner! Any friend o’ Twi’s is a friend o’ mine!” Applejack brightly said, touching her hoof to mine. “I reckon yer new to Ponyville. Would y’all like somethin’ ta eat?”

“Sure!”

“Alrighty! Follow me!” Applejack commanded with a wave of her hoof as we made our way to a nearby picnic table. The meal she’d made for us, I suppose shouldn’t have come as a surprise; given the girl’s name was APPLEjack. There wasn’t a single thing she fed Twi, Spike, and I that didn’t have some kind of apple in it. Apple Pie, Apple Cobbler, Apple Fritter, Apple everything! Unfortunately, this is where problem number two arose. I had NO idea how I was supposed to use the fork and knife in front of me when I had hooves instead of hands.

“Thank you for this meal, Applejack!” I said.

“No thanks necessary,” she responded graciously. “No newcomer’s ever been t’ Ponyville without tryin’ some famous Apple family cookin’!”

“Quick question, though. I know this is prolly gonna sound kinda dumb, but… umm… How do I use these?” I asked, pointing a hoof to the silverware. Applejack shot me a look of confusion.

“Ya jus’ pick ‘em up, put ‘em in th’ food, an’—!”

“No, I mean how do I pick these things up when we got hooves instead o’ hands or claws?” As I should have expected, another even more confused look from the orange Earth pony aimed at me. I heard Twi and Spike stifling giggles until I glared at both of them, causing them to stop, although they were each wearing goofy grins.

“Twi… Where’d ya find this stallion...?” Applejack whispered to Twilight. “He seems a few apples short of a bunch...” Twilight giggled some more. I face-hoofed and let out a deep, exasperated breath as I reached for the fork, which miraculously stuck to the bottom of my hoof, and stuck it into an apple turnover on my plate. As soon as I realized my endeavor, I let go of the fork and gazed at it in amazement.

“What the…? How is that even…?” I mumbled to myself in amazement.

“Theeeeere ya go, sport! Way ta use the ol’ noggin!” Applejack teased, causing the unicorn and the dragon to laugh even more. I flashed a fake smile at her, and then turned to my plate. “Ya sure ya don’t need me t’ tell ya how to lift it inta yer mouth?” she quipped again with a laugh. Surely enough, Twilight and Spike joined her in laughter. I clenched my teeth in annoyance and grabbed the fork again, still looking down at the plate.

“Jeez, I hope not everyone here’s a smart-ass…” I grumbled under my breath.

“Didn’t quite catch that, sugar cube. What’d ya say?” Applejack asked in a genuinely curious tone. Twilight and Spike went completely silent, which scared the shit out of me. I refused to look up as I feared the worst.

“Oh, crap! What do I tell ‘er now!? I can’t tell her what I said! I’ve seen what she can do to trees! I don’t wanna have all my teeth kicked outta my face like the apples outta that tree! Ummmm…!”

“I said uh… I hope everyone here’s not… bein’ too crass! Y’know, table etiquette and such. I uh… I want to make the best first impression on you that I can, seein’ as I want to be friends with you an’ all.” I said with a nervous chuckle. Thankfully, the orange mare chuckled with me.

“Aww shucks, yer already good in my book! Even if ya do seem ta be a bit out there. You sound like y’all paid a li’l visit ta Rarity before comin’ here.” Applejack chuckled some more.

“Gee thanks… I guess. But no, we ain’t get to see this Rarity pers— pony yet. I just like to be as polite and considerate as I can when I’m a guest.”

“So yer smarter than yer lettin’ on…?” Applejack stared at me for a bit. “You definitely are an interestin’ one, Ponder Memoir. But I’m sure I’ll get ta know ya better once we’re done eatin’. Let’s dig in!” Applejack said as she grabbed her fork and began to eat her apple pie. The various apple (food) products were like nothing I’d ever tasted before… By the time I was done, I’d developed a new appreciation of apples. I also gained a better understanding of the whole “Cutie Mark-Special Talent” relationship. I saw Applejack’s was a trio of red apples, which I guessed meant her special talent had everything to do with apples.

“So, Ty… How’d ya like them apples?” Applejack mused.

“I ain’t even gon’ trip. That was amazin’!” I happily answered.

“Ya know, one thing I done noticed about you, other than the fact that y’all are about as big as my big brother, and that you’re a bit outta the ordinary, is yer accent… Ya sound almost like I do!”

“Really now? I can’t tell the resemblance…” I joked. Everyone chuckled.

“Heh heh, you’re a funny one. But hey, where ya from, Ty? You definitely don’t seem like nopony from a place I ever been to…” Applejack asked with wonder.

“Trust me, iss a LOOONG story, and given that I gotta get a better look around this town, I might not get time to tell ya the whole thing today… Le’ss just say that I’m from a place VERY far away from here.”

“How far we talkin’? New Colt City? Manehattan? Mare-yland? Fillydelphia?”

“He’s from an alternate universe,” Spike suddenly blurted, causing me to shoot him a wide eyed stare that said, “What the hell, man!?” Twilight gave him such a scolding glare that I got scared even though she wasn’t looking at me.

“Really?” Applejack asked as her eyes widened in interest.

“No! Not at all!” Twilight hastily interjected with a blatant lie, smiling sheepishly. “Spike was just uh… telling a little joke is all!” Applejack turned to look at the unicorn, studying her mannerisms.

“Now Twi, as the Element of Honesty, I can tell when anypony is fibbin’. Y’all ain’t gotta hide nothin’ from me. If it’s true that Ty here’s not even from this world, then I don’t see a reason to hide it. As crazy as it sounds…”

“Element of—?” I tried to ask.

“You’re really from a whole ‘nother place outside of this here universe, huh?” Applejack quickly interjected as she turned back to me.

“Y-yea,” I stuttered, unsure of what to say next. “But that’s somethin’ I’d rather not let everyone here know. At least, not yet.  I don’t need the heat right now, y’know? I don’t wanna cause some kinda mass panic or nothin’…”

“I hear ya. Yer secret’s safe with me. But seein’ as I know now… what’s your place like? Are the ponies there nice? How’d y’all wind up here? Are the apples there as good as ours?” Applejack relentlessly drilled me with question after question. As much as I REALLY wanted to sit there and play 20,000 questions with the apple farming mare, I figured Twilight would eventually give her the answers she was looking for when I answered all the questions in that notebook.

“All part o’ that story I owe ya tomorrow. Whoo, look at the time!” I hastily announced as I looked at the invisible watch on my fore-hoof. “Twi, Spike, wouldn’t you say it’s time for me to explore Ponyville some more?”

“Yes!” Twilight answered with gusto as she, Spike, and I regrouped and prepared to leave.

“Well, hold on, y’all!” Applejack yelled, stopping us in our tracks. “Surely, y’all got at least enough time to introduce Ty to Big Mac an’ Granny Smith!”

“That’d be nice, but uh… Don’t you and Big Macintosh have a lot of chores to do today?” Twilight asked while trying not to sound hopeful about distracting the orange country mare from the barrage of questions she had ready for me.

“Oh! I completely forgot! Thanks fer remindin’ me, Twi!” Applejack responded with realization of her duties. She hastily got up to grab all of the dishes from the picnic table to carry them into a house nearby. “Y’all are free t’ go now! Today’s gonna be extra busy for us! Nice meetin’ ya, Ponder Memoir!” Applejack announced as she ran off. Twi and I breathed a sigh of relief as we left the farm to return to the town.

“That… could’ve gone more smoothly,” Twilight said.

“Irony hurts, don’t it?” I remarked, snickering at the unicorn.

“Hey now, you made a couple of mistakes yourself back there, ‘Ponder Memoir’. Also, that last little slip-up wasn’t my fault. Right, Spike?” she replied, turning to glare at the dragon riding on her back.

“Umm… An honest mistake, really!” the dragon said with a shrug and a shy, squinting smile.

“So where should we go next?” I asked.

“Hmm… I’d say we should go—!”

“Twilight! Look out!” Spike yelled. Both the unicorn and I turned to see and hear a screaming rainbow-colored blur beaming towards us at a startling speed. Before any of us could move, the blur came crashing into us, sending Spike flying off of Twilight’s back as the object hit the unicorn and me hard, and knocking us to the ground along with it. We quickly recovered from the blow to see a light blue Pegasus with an unkempt, spiky rainbow-colored mane and tail lying flat on her back in a daze…

Nightly Arrangements...

Something ODDLY Familiar...

Something ODDLY Familiar…

“Rainbow Dash! Are you okay?” Twilight asked with great worry. Both of us moved to help the dizzy rainbow-haired Pegasus to her fee— hooves.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m good. Thanks Twilight. I was trying this new trick, and…?” She began to say as she snapped out of her daze. “Who’s this guy? Your new coltfriend?” she teased.

“What?? Uh, n- no!” Twilight hastily answered, blushing. “He’s new to this place, and I’m just showing him around.” Rainbow and I laughed a little at Twilight’s sudden loss of composure at Rainbow Dash’s question.

“I’m… Ponder Memoir,” I said. “And no, Twilight and I ain’t datin’. We’re good friends.”

“You two are good friends? How’s that possible if you’re new here? She hasn’t mentioned you before. Are you a friend of hers from a different city?”

“Hmm, you could say that. Mind if you introduce yourself?”

“Y’mean you REALLY haven’t heard of me? The fastest flier in Equestria? The mare who did not one, not two, but THREE Sonic Rainbooms? The savior of many a pony in this land? The aspiring Wonderbolt?” She boasted, getting uncomfortably close to me.

“…Uhh, no?” I flatly answered with a slight hint of annoyance as I moved my head back, staring at her with a cocked eyebrow. I had NO idea what she was talking about. “And what is a ‘Wonderbolt?’”

“Wow, you must be either living in a cave or from another universe if ya haven’t heard of your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash,” she insulted. “…let alone the Wonderbolts, the only Pegasi in Equestria with talent that rival, if not exceeds mine!” she pompously stated as she struck a heroic pose. Already, I could tell this girl had a knack for talking too much without thinking, as well as attention seeking, which instantly rubbed me the wrong way. However, her comment about me being from an alternate universe worried me.

“Hey, now who do you th—?” I began to angrily ask before I got a sudden mouthful of hoof from the lavender unicorn.

“Sorry, Dash. He’s just not very familiar around here,” Twilight interrupted, saving me from starting an argument before removing her dirt-covered hoof from my mouth.

“Thanks for the taste test, Twi, but I’m pretty sure dirt ain’t for eatin’,” I flatly said. “As for you, Miss… Rainbow Dah…” I trailed off as I noticed her Cutie Mark; a familiar-looking cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of it. “That mark… No way! How…?” I whispered in amazement as I scurried behind the now-confused Pegasus and roughly grabbed her flank with a hoof to get a closer look at her Cutie Mark. Man, was I glad to have good reflexes, because she would have knocked my head off with the kick she threw at me had I not ducked in time and backed away. “YO! What the hell!?”

“HEY, PERV! You’ve got some nerve pulling a move like that on me!” Rainbow angrily screamed at me as she quickly turned around to face me.

“Chill out! It wasn’t even like that!” I tried to explain, now realizing my foolish mistake. “It’s just that your Cutie Mark looks familiar! That’s all! I realize my mistake now, and I’m sorry! There ain’t no need to be kickin’ nobody in the head!”

“Yeah, sure!” She sarcastically remarked, not believing me for a second. “What the hay kind of stallion claims to not know who I am, then pulls a move like that just to say my Cutie Mark looks familiar!? Not cool, dude!” Although she raised a fairly good point, we exchanged glares of enmity as the air around us got eerily quiet.

“Rainbow! Calm down! I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that!” Twilight interjected, trying to bring the situation to a peaceful close.

“You’re actually defending him, Twilight? Wow, way to help a friend!” Rainbow brashly screamed at the unicorn. “The wrong one, at that! Whose side are you on!?” I was taken aback by her bullheaded hostility, especially towards Twilight. The sheer disregard for her friend’s concern in the wake of her anger at me appalled me.

“Rainbow, please!” Twilight pleaded. “I’m not picking sides, I—!”

“Whatever, I’ll leave you and your special somepony to have fun with each other! I’m outta here!” She interrupted as she began to fly away. The tears I saw forming in the unicorn’s eyes as she hung her head instantly drove me from irritated and a little guilty to outright pissed off.

“RAINBOW DASH!!! GET’CHO ASS BACK DOWN HERE!!!” I exploded, shocking everyone, including the Pegasus I was shouting at, as well as myself. Surely enough, Rainbow floated back down to the ground, not out of fear, but out of anger at me.

“You know, you’ve got SOME nerve talking to me li—!”

“I don’t wanna hear it! I want to make things clear between us!”

“…Fine, I’m listening.” She said. I was actually surprised she was going to lend me her ear, but I wasn’t going to let this go to waste. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to cool myself down.

“Listen,” I began in a much calmer tone, looking her dead in the eye. “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know what kind of idiotic impulse came over me for me to disrespect your personal space the way I did. I’m not lyin’ when I say your Cutie Mark looks familiar, though. I’ve actually seen it somewhere before, but I honestly did not have a clue as to who you were until now. Twilight deserves none of your frustration. This is all my fault, and my fault alone. But I SWEAR to you, I meant NOTHING personal when I stupidly grabbed you the way I did, especially when I only just met you. In fact, if you still don’t believe me, I want you to give me a kick, right here.” I said as I lifted my chin up and closed my eyes. “If you still have any aggression towards me, kick me as hard as you can to let it go, and we’ll never speak o’ this again.” Again, everything went silent. Yet, there I stood, chin up, eyes squeezed shut, half-expecting Rainbow Dash to break my jaw into a million pieces. But what she actually did shocked me beyond belief. She gently touched a hoof to my cheek, causing me to open my eyes as I gasped and flinched. She chuckled a little at my fearful kneejerk reaction.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hit you,” she said calmly, smiling. I sighed in relief as I lowered my head to meet her gaze. “Y’know, you’re the first stallion ever to willingly let me kick him if I didn’t accept his apology… That, I respect. I also find it pretty cool that you stood your ground, especially for a great friend like Twilight. And I do see your sincerity and I’ll accept your apology… under one condition.”

“And that condition is…?”

“You answer me this question…: Where have you seen my Cutie Mark before?” I normally would have been delighted to answer her question, but given that my answer would sound completely ridiculous, I hesitated. I stood there, staring intensely at Rainbow, worrying about my answer. “Well?” she said impatiently. “Where did you see it?” she asked again in a demanding tone.

“I…” was all I could manage to choke out before I went silent again.

“Listen, if you don’t answer me now, I’m going to take you up on your offer from before!” She shouted, beginning to lose her patience again.

*Sigh* “…Looks like I’mma hafta come clean with you, huh?” I reluctantly began. “What I’m gonna tell you, I want you to make absolutely sure it don’t leak to anyone else under any circumstance. Do you promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she answered as she made strange motions, which I took as a “yes.”

“Ty, are you sure?” Twilight asked.

“Yes. She deserves to know, especially since iss part of my apology to her. Alright, Rainbow Dash…”

“Just call me Rainbow. Or Dash.”

“Duly noted. First of all, you were right; I’m not from this world. I really am from an alternate universe. That is the reason I’ve never heard of you or whatever it is you was talkin’ about before. Second, I’m here because Twilight brought me here to show me around this world after she teleported herself to mine and took a tour of it. Third, while I was showin’ her around my world, these three me— colts began chasin’ us because they somehow recognized her. One of the three had a… a Cutie Mark that looked strikingly similar, if not exactly like yours.” Dash gawked at me with such a look of surprise that I’d thought she didn’t believe me. But, her wings were flared in what I assume was interest.

“I-is that where that spell sent you for the last two days, Twi?” Rainbow asked Twilight.

“Yes… Everything he said is true. The spell I used to try and teleport to Manehattan actually wound up sending me to his world. Rainbow, I’m holding you to it that you don’t tell ANYPONY anything you heard. We don’t want to cause a panic or draw too much attention towards us.”

“I’m not the Element of Loyalty for nothing, y’know! You have my word. But still… uh…” She trailed off as she turned to me, which I took as her forgetting my name. But there was that thing about being an Element of something again… just like how Applejack was saying she was the Element of Honesty. Maybe they’re part of some secret club or something…?

“Call me Ty,” I said.

“Ty. You’re from an alternate universe, and yet my Cutie Mark exists there? Ohmygosh, I have SO many questions!” she stated with newfound excitement.

“Sorry, Rainbow,” Twilight began. “But as of right now, he’s here to learn about our world before meeting Princess Celestia. I’ve been taking him through town to observe, but so far, we’ve only gotten to see Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres before this little fiasco happened. I assure you, though; he’ll answer as many questions you have to ask as he can when the time comes. Speaking of time, we should really get going now.”

“Aw, what a bummer! I’d tag along, but I just realized my break time is up. I gotta get back to work! See you guys later! Nice meeting you, Ty!” she said as she took flight and flew away.

“Bye, Rainbow!” Twilight yelled.

“I hope we meet again, Rainbow! Under different circumstances!” I shouted.

“Oh, don’t worry! We will!” she shouted back as she turned, waved and smiled, then continued her flight until she was out of sight.

“My goodness, I done hardly been here a few hours and already, I blew my cover twice, and almost made an enemy!” I lamented with a face-hoof as we continued our trek through Ponyville.

“Well, at least you didn’t tell Applejack or Rainbow Dash that you were human,” Twilight countered. “All they know is that you’re from an alternate universe and, in Rainbow’s case, her Cutie Mark exists in your world. You did pretty well in leaving out any explicit details that would’ve REALLY given you away. And Rainbow's your friend now... I think.”

“Yeah, and the first time your cover was blown wasn’t your fault,” Spike added, owning up to his previous mistake. “But hopefully, they’re the only two to find out before we meet Celestia.”

“Yea, but can I REALLY trust ‘em to keep this on the down-low?” I asked.

“They’re two of my best friends. They’ll keep it safe,” Twilight assured.

“Alright, then… Where should we go next?”

“Well, seeing as we’re apparently making a trend out of seeing my best friends first, how about we head to a place called the Carousel Boutique to visit my friend Rarity?” Twilight suggested. If there’s anything I’d noticed at this point, it’s that almost every place here has some kind of horse-related pun in its name…

Carpe Diem!

Rumors...

Rumors…

“Yess…!” I heard Spike whisper.

“Well now. You sure seem happy to visit this next place,” I taunted. “Somethin’ special about it?”

“Only that it’s run by the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria, the amazing Rarity!” Spike gleefully and lustfully responded, his gaze seeming to be aimed into outer space.

“Is that so? Ooh, sounds like you’ve got some competition, Twi,” I joked.

“Oh, stop it, Ty,” Twilight retorted, blushing.

“What can I say? You know it's true. Don't be so modest.” I smiled at her.

“Get a room, you two!” Spike complained.

“Spike!” Twilight scolded.

“My, you’re grown for your age,” I added with a chuckle. “Fallin’ in love with full grown mares AND you know a choice phrase usually said when others are havin’ moments of intimacy? Twi, what HAVE you been teachin’ this young dragon?”

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Twilight shot back. “Spike, where DID you learn such a thing?”

“Uhh… I dunno!” Spike shakily answered, looking flushed. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something… or someone, rather, bouncing their way towards us, humming with joy. “Hi there, Pinkie Pie!” Spike called, prompting me to get a better look at the pony headed towards us.

“Hiya Spike! Hi, Twilight!” The pink mare greeted with a shrill, upbeat inflection as she stopped in front of us. This one was easier to read than Rainbow Dash. The fact that she was positively pink with equally pink, puffy hair and wearing a possibly perpetual perky smile on her face, combined with what I presumed was her probably peppy party-hardy personality led me to believe she was quite the entertainer.

“Good afternoon, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight happily greeted. “I’ve brought a friend I’d like you to meet.” The second our eyes met, Pinkie Pie’s smile dropped and she began to stare at me intensely. She got so close that our noses pushed up against one another as that creepy, angry-looking stare pierced into my very soul. Oddly, she smelled strongly of cake and cotton candy…

“…Um, hi?” I nervously said, breaking the awkward silence. Instead of responding, she leapt into the air, took an extensive, dramatic gasp, and then ran off away from us with a speed I daresay rivaled Rainbow. “Oooookay…? What was that about?”

“Oh, just… Pinkie bein’ Pinkie is all,” Twilight answered in a suspiciously nonchalant tone.

“Uh-huh… Well anyway, where’s this Carousel place?”

“Right here!” Spike yelled as we approached our destination. Looked like a big-ass dollhouse if I ever saw one.

“Rarity! Are you home?” Twilight asked as she knocked on the door.

“I’ll be down in just a moment, Twilight, darling,” answered a soft, royal-sounding voice. A few seconds later, the door of the house opened to reveal a white unicorn mare with azure blue eyes and a dark purple mane and tail that seemed to be styled very fancily. Spike wasn’t lying when he said she was beautiful... Y’know, for a pony. The inside of her house was something, too. It was like walking into a fashion studio/upper-class home. Pony-shaped mannequins and various stitching and fabric utensils and materials were strewn about a very decorative room. “Oh, I see you’ve brought a guest! Please, come in! Oh dear, I’ve hardly had the time to tidy up the place. I do hope it isn’t a bother to you, Mister…”

“Memoir. Ponder Memoir.” I greeted with a smile. “You must be Rarity.”

“You know of me? Have you been admiring any designs of mine?”

“Design? Oh, sorry no, I’m new here. I mainly only know o’ you because Romeo over there was talkin’ about you on the way here,” I said, motioning a hoof at Spike who took a look of alarm at me. “Somethin’ about you bein’, and I quote, ‘the most beautiful an’ amazing pony in Equestr— OOP!” I was interrupted by a small, scaly purple claw forcibly clasping itself over my mouth.

“Oh dear, Spike, you sure do have a way with words…” Rarity coyly stated, her cheeks turning red as she stifled a laugh with her hoof. I can see why Spike likes her so much.

“Ix-nay on the ote-quay…!” Spike whispered harshly as he removed his claw from my face.

“Sure, so long as you an’ Twi stop stickin’ your hooves an’ claws in my mouth. Tastes like apples, by the way…” I looked back up at Rarity, who was still giggling at the antics of Spike and I. “Pardon me, milady. It’s just that on occasion, my mouth gets ahead of my thoughts,” I said in the most refined voice I could muster. “Anyway, it is a most wondrous pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ms. Rarity.” I bowed down in front of her.

“My, what a flatterer you are,” she said, seemingly impressed by my manners. “Tall, dark, handsome, and well-mannered…” She was making me want to blush… “Twilight, is he your colt-friend? I must say, quite a pick you’ve made.”

“NO!” Twilight and I both shouted in unison.

“H-he’s just a friend is all!” Twilight hastily added, blushing very hard.

“Uh, y-yeah, a friend!” I continued, dropping the fancy accent and standing back up while I felt my own face heat up. “Since I’m new around these parts, Twilight volunteered to show me around. We ain’t—!”

“Now now, you two… You don’t have to hide your relationship from me,” Rarity replied matter-of-factly. Spike was overcome with a sudden outburst of laughter as Twilight was frozen with embarrassment and I face-hoofed.

*sigh* “Fine, you caught us,” I sarcastically began. “We TOTALLY can’t hide our feelin’s from you, Rarity. We just love each other SO much,” I said as I walked over to Twilight to give her a hug, confusing the purple unicorn even more until I winked at her, which she understood as her blush faded with an assuring smile. I was pretty sure she still didn’t know what I was doing, but still trusted me enough to allow me to play along with Rarity’s misconception.

“See, there you go! Don’t be afraid of your love! Embrace it, accept it and most of all, share it!” Rarity advised.

“Right… Well anyway, what do you do around here? You said somethin’ about designs…?”

“Oh, yes, I’m a clothing designer. I make many fashionable designs and share them with many different areas of Equestria! My creations are unrivaled in their elegance, beauty, and overall appeal to many a pony throughout this land! I’ve even managed to draw in some of the most scrutinizing eyes in the fashion world, and even they have praised my work!”

“Hm… I don’t get it…”

“What is there not to get, dear?”

“I mean, I ain’t seen one pony in this town yet wearin’ any clothes. Maybe a bowtie or a hat or somethin’, but other than that, everyone here is naked… I’m sorry if this comes off as a bit rude, but why exactly do you design clothes if no one wears ‘em?” the white unicorn stared at me with a look that I couldn’t tell was confusion, disgust, shock or a combination of all three.

“Before I answer that, might I ask you where exactly you’re from?”

“Dammit! Of all the things she coulda asked me, it had to be somethin’ like that… Hmm, what could I say…? Manehattan? Fillydelphia? Um…Ooh!  Maybe…!”

“I’m from uh… Las… Pegasus,” I lied, making up what I thought was a random city that sounded like Las Vegas.

“Oh, I see! You’re from an area very far away from Ponyville. I suppose your lack of knowledge of me and my designs can be explained by your place of residence. My designs go as far as Canterlot, Manehattan, and Fillydelphia to my knowledge…”

“Dodged a bullet there…”

“Ponies here usually wear clothes only during special occasions, such as large parties or other types of important social gatherings, and when we do wear clothes, I’m usually the one to supply the most dazzling of designs. Ask Twilight! I made her and all of our friends many gowns for the Grand Galloping Gala a while ago, not to mention I made another set of gowns for the royal wedding between her elder brother Shining Armor and Princess Cadence!” she explained as I heard a low growl coming from her. “Oh my, I’m feeling famished. I knew I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast to perfect that summer dress… Please excuse me while I fetch myself something to eat. Would you all like anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though,” I replied.

“Same here,” Twilight added. “We came here from Sweet Apple Acres not too long ago.”

“I’ll gladly take anything you have to offer, Rarity!” Spike enthusiastically said. I swear I could have seen drool hanging from that boy’s mouth, he was so busy staring at the white unicorn.

“Very well, then,” Rarity said as she trotted off into a different room. “Come with me, Spikey-Wikey.” Spike immediately followed her into her kitchen. I almost busted out laughing at Rarity’s nickname for Spike… but, her Cutie Mark caught my eye. Three light blue rhombus-shaped diamonds aligned in a triangular pattern… How oddly familiar…

“Hey, Rarity,” I called.

“Yes, dear?” she asked as she and Spike walked back into the room with a slice of cake enveloped in a light blue magic glow.

“Your Cutie Mark…” I hesitated, remembering the last two ponies I’d already revealed my true place of residence… or should I say plane of existence to. I couldn’t afford to expose myself any more than I already had.

“Hm, yes, it’s quite a lovely little thing, isn’t it? This Cutie Mark represents my love for the finer things in life, especially fashion and design. It also represents my undying love for… how you say, ‘breaking bread with my fellow pony,’ which explains why I am the Element of Generosity,” she enlightened me. Yet again, there was that thing about Elements…! I figured that there must have been some secret club going on that I didn’t know about.

“Okay, what’s this about—?”

“OH NO!” Rarity shouted with extreme alarm.

“What?”

“I’m terribly sorry, but you all have to go now! I’ve just realized I have a very important order to fill for Hoity Toity, and I’ve let procrastination get the better of me! This will likely take me the entire afternoon to finish, and I cannot have any distractions!”

“Bummer. Well, it was nice meetin’ you, Rarity,” I said as Twilight, Spike and I headed towards the door.

“I’m so sorry to throw you out like this… Especially since you seem like such a nice fellow…” She said to me. “Oh, and Twilight…? Would you mind if Spike stayed here to help me finish my design?”

“Of course I’ll stay!” Spike answered for himself, running up to Rarity’s side.

“Well, I guess you have your answer there,” Twilight added. “Looks like it’s just the two of us from here on out today, Ty.”

“Okey doke,” I responded.

“I thought you said your name was Ponder Memoir…?” Rarity said questioningly.

“It is,” Twilight began. “…but sometimes, he likes to be called ‘Ty.’”

“Aww, that is just adorable!” Rarity gleefully replied. “You two have already come up with nicknames for each other! Twi and Ty… Oh, that has such a cute ring to it! I can just tell you two are going to have such a harmonious relationship!” Twilight and I just stared at Rarity, dumbfounded and completely speechless.

“…well, we should get out of your hair now…” I sheepishly blurted. I was still caught completely off-guard by Rarity’s comment. “A-Again, it was nice meetin’ you...”

“Bye, Rarity,” Twilight said with what sounded like uncertainty.

“Tootle-loo, ‘Twi and Ty!’” she replied as we walked out of the door, making us both cringe. As the door shut behind us, I swore I heard a child cracking up from inside. Spike, no doubt.

“Wow… just wow,” I said with a sigh, shaking my head in a mixture of embarrassment and shame.

“Great… Rarity actually thinks we’re dating…” Twilight added with disbelief. “Which reminds me: Why did you play along with it?”

“That’s what I usually do when someone accuses me of bein’ involved with somethin’ or somebody I actually have no connection o’ that sort with,” I answered in defense. “I play along with it so the accuser and I could just have a laugh and forget about it. Clearly, it backfired this time. I didn’t think she ACTUALLY thought I was serious…”

“Well that’s just fantastic, because if we don’t clear things up, which we pretty much can’t now, I guarantee the whole town will think we’re dating by tonight!”

“Aww, come on now, rumors don’t spread THAT fast… and don’t forget: Rarity and Spike are s’posed t’ be spendin’ the rest o’ the day inside finishin’ that outfit.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised…” Twilight countered. With that, I assumed we were in for quite a shit-storm...

A Short Canterlot Misadventure!

Reclusiveness... Begone!

Reclusiveness… Begone!

Twilight and I were completely silent for a while as we walked through more areas of Ponyville. I had no idea what to say to the unicorn after our little mishap at the Carousel Boutique. I was trying to think of a way to either ease or avert the situation of the idea of every citizen in this town coming under the impression that I and Twilight were boyfriend and girlfriend… or should I say “colt-friend and filly-friend…?” I also wondered if she was thinking the same, but when I looked at her, she seemed to be… blushing as her head hung low and she looked down at the ground. I hoped to goodness that that blush was out of embarrassment for what happened with Rarity… Nonetheless, we had practically wandered blindly into what looked like a shopping center, as there were concessions stands left and right with ponies everywhere picking up groceries. I even saw Applejack at one of the stands with a big red stallion and tons of baskets of apples. I would have stopped by to say hello, but she and who I guess was her big brother looked extremely busy as the line in front of her stand was huge! As Twilight and I continued to walk through, I decided to break the awkward silence.

“Hey, wassup? You ain’t said nothin’ for a while now. The thing about Rarity still on ya mind?” I asked with concern.

“Yeah… But that’s only half the reason.” She answered.

“What’s the other half?”

“Well… it’s…” she went silent once again as she averted her eyes from mine. Now I was really curious, given this new demeanor of hers.

“It’s… what?” I prodded her.

“It’s just that… y’know what? Just forget I mentioned it.”

“I am not takin’ that as an acceptable answer, Twilight. Talk to m— OW!” I was cut off by something hitting me, forcing me to stumble back a little as I saw fruits and other miscellaneous groceries fly into the air and rain all over the place. I shook my head and looked at what suddenly attacked me. It was a yellow Pegasus with a long pink mane and tail.

“Hey, you alright?” I asked.

“Fluttershy? Are you okay?” Twilight asked after me. We both moved to help the Pegasus up, but when she got up; she quietly squealed and swiftly snatched away from me and hid behind Twilight.

“I’m sooo, so, so, so sorry. Please, don’t be angry at me, sir.” She pleaded fearfully.

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” I asked. She refused to budge and didn’t respond.

“Fluttershy, it’s okay. He’s with me. He’s a new friend of mine,” Twilight told the Pegasus. Heeding the unicorn’s words, Fluttershy slowly rose to her hooves and took a few steps towards me while looking at the ground. For a full grown mare, she sure was timid…

“Um, hi… I’m Flu’rsh…” She mumbled, still looking at the ground and rubbing one of her fore-hooves on the other.

“Hey now,” I said in a gentle, quiet tone as if I were speaking to a baby. I walked up to her and placed a hoof on her back. She flinched, of course. “It’s okay. You don’t hafta be afraid o’ me. I won’t hurt you…”

“Oh no, I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m afraid of you…” Fluttershy began to speak more audibly as she finally got the courage to look at me with her large turquoise eyes, her voice still very soft and quiet. “Well… maybe a little… But it’s more that I… I just have trouble meeting new ponies… And seeing as this isn’t the best way to meet a new pony…”

“Ah, you’re fine. Y’know, you remind me o’ myself a little…”

“How so?” Twilight asked with piqued curiosity.

“Well, when I was younger, I had the same problem with being too afraid of what others would think o’ me. I didn’t feel like anybody would like me for me, so I cut myself off from others and interacted as little as I possibly could. That an’ I showed a general disinterest in social interaction. It forced me into a reclusive shell. I was a huge introvert, but when I finally realized that I’m just as hu… I mean equal as everybody around me, I began to get comfortable with talkin’ to others. It took a lot of help from forced social interaction in places like school an’ at basically any place where there’s a large group of… ponies, but eventually, I grew an’ was able to get to know an’ become comfortable enough with myself to be able to present myself to others.”

“Wow… You and I aren’t so different in that department…” Twilight replied. “I just never knew how strong the connection was between self-image and social interaction… My reason for being that way when I was younger was a slightly different one, but I get it now…”

“Really? Looks like we still haven’t gotten very far in knowin’ each other, huh?”

“Indeed…”

“Yes, I see what you mean, too,” Fluttershy began. “A little while ago, I took an assertiveness class that I thought was teaching me to become more comfortable with myself, as well as how to not let others walk all over me. I learned my lesson, but only after I realized that the class only taught me how to turn my insecurity into aggression.  I went from being bullied to becoming a bully. I almost lost two of my best friends because of my behavior, too. It was just awful…”

“Ahh, wow…” I said, thinking about how a pony that seemed so sweet and innocent could ever possibly be aggressive. “I can’t really see you bein’ a bully. You seem too cute, sweet, an’ innocent to do such a thing…”

“Oh my… th-thank you,” She said, regaining a little bit of her timidity as she blushed. “Ooh! Then there was this time where I was supposed to help all the other Pegasi, including my friend Rainbow Dash, whip up a tornado big enough to carry all the water from a lake up to Cloudsdale…” I saw that she’d warmed up to me very quickly. All it took was a single point for us both to relate on for her to cast her shell away. I was also surprised she knew Rainbow Dash, but then I figured that if they were both friends with Twilight Sparkle, why wouldn’t they be friends with each other?

“I’m listenin’, but let’s get your stuff all cleaned up while you tell me, shall we?”

“Oh, yes. Good idea,” she answered as we began cleaning her groceries up. “So my problem there was that I was didn’t want to help because I was too afraid of what other ponies would think of me if I tried. I let my filly-hood memories of being teased for being a weak flier get the best of me. Time and time again, I tried to conquer my fear of failure and humiliation, but I soon realized that I had to do it not for Rainbow Dash, the other Pegasi, or even because all of us were required to do it; I had to do it for myself. I had to do it to prove to myself that I was able to make an impact and stand against the odds.”

“Wow, Fluttershy… I saw that you were having trouble with your self-confidence, but I didn’t realize how much that day made you grow…” Twilight said as we finished restocking the yellow Pegasus’s saddlebags.

“Yea, I see your experiences are teachin’ you to be more comfortable with who you are as a pony,” I said. “Those were two very big examples. It seems to me that you learned how to assert yourself without bein’ mean about it, and to have faith in yourself and your abilities.  The only thing left for you to conquer is meetin’ new faces an’ interactin’ with ‘em."

“Thank you both so much!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she pulled Twilight and me into a group hug. “I’m so happy to have this discussion with you, Twilight and…”

“Ponder Memoir,” I finished. “But please, call me ‘Ty.’ Would you like us to walk home with you?”

“That would be nice. But I’m actually headed to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie said something about a party…”

“Pinkie Pie…? Oh, she’s the one who saw me an’ ran away for no reason! Looks like now’s the time to catch her and ask her why…”

“I’m sure she was just in a rush,” Fluttershy dismissed. “But please, let’s head there now.”

“Hmm, aight,” I responded as we trotted our way towards Pinkie Pie’s place of residence. “Hey, Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“You ain’t share a story with Fluttershy and me about how you came outta your shell. Care to enlighten us?”

“Hmm… okay. It’s a long one, but I’ll try to nutshell it so I can finish before we arrive. That sound good?” Fluttershy and I simply nodded. “Well… As a filly growing up in Canterlot, I was always into my studies. I wanted to learn everything about magic and the many possibilities surrounding it; so much so that one day, during an entrance exam for a very exclusive unicorn magic school, I wound up showing a great deal of my raw, uncontrolled ability. It was that day that I not only got accepted into said school, I also earned my Cutie Mark and was enlisted by Princess Celestia herself as her direct student. From then until a little after I moved here to Ponyville, my main focus was making the Princess proud as I learned more and more about magic every day. I unfortunately let that focus consume me to the point where I would avoid social interaction at every chance; for fear that it would only hinder my studies. I had almost no friends… The only ponies I’d ever talked to other than Celestia were my older brother Shining Armor, and my foal-sitter-turned-sister-in-law, Princess Cadence. Even they couldn’t keep consistent amounts of communication with me, though. Once I was old enough to stop needing a foal-sitter, I lost all contact with Cadence. As for Shining Armor, he had become captain of Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard. As a result, his duties tied up his time more and more until I rarely saw him at all. At that point, the only “friend” I had was Spike, whom I was allowed to keep as a pet of sorts after I had hatched him from an egg during that entrance exam. Even then, I had no clue on what friendship was or how important it was to me, and I treated him like little more than an employee. That doesn’t go to say I didn’t love the little guy… I just didn’t know how to show it. But yeah, eventually, Celestia sent me to Ponyville to learn about the magic known as friendship. I’ll admit that at first, I thought she was just setting me up so I could get out more, but boy was I wrong… it took a whole lot of crazy things to happen, which I’ll fill you in on another time, Ty, for me to finally realize how friendship strengthened me and all of my friends and played a huge factor in forming us into the mares we are now. In fact, on that very day, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and I had become the representations of the Elements of Harmony, the most powerful magical objects in this entire world. I think that’s good enough for now. I hope that wasn’t too much for you guys to take in…”

“…incredible…” I could only mumble, my eyes and mouth agape. This unicorn had a lot to say. I was shocked to find out that she allowed herself to become so… lonely, and all because of an obsession with learning. I gained a new feeling for Twilight after hearing that. I wasn’t sure if it was pity, empathy, respect, or something else… Another thing was that FINALLY, I learned about that thing about Elements. But what I learned only made me want to explode with questions about what they were and how Twilight and all of her friends managed to get their hooves on them.

“Wow, Twilight. That’s amazing,” Fluttershy began. “I had no idea you had so much trouble meeting ponies, too. When we first met, I assumed you had a lot of friends and that you were just trying to talk to me, so I shut myself off from you. Instead, I spent that whole time talking to Spike and not giving you the time of day. I’m so sorry…” the Pegasus frowned as she contemplated her newfound guilt.

“Aww, it’s okay, Fluttershy! We’re friends now, and that’s all that matters,” Twilight said to comfort the Pegasus.

“Thank you, Twilight…” Fluttershy smiled warmly at the unicorn, which she returned. I couldn’t help but smile myself.

“Man, the both o’ y’all are so adorable when you smile…” I said, prompting the two mares to giggle as they turned their gaze to me. Their cuteness could have given me a heart attack.

“Looks like we’re here,” Twilight announced when she looked forward. The building itself was quite a wonder. It looked almost exactly like one of those crazily decorative gingerbread cookie houses bakers back in my world made; except that this one was enormous! I almost wanted to take a bite out of it right then and there.

“Hey, quick question before we go in, Fluttershy,” I said.

“Yes, Mr. Ty?”

“Just 'Ty' is fine. But your Cutie Mark… I see that i’ss three butterflies. I guess that means you’re good with animals?”

“Yes. I take care of many different animals back at my home. It also represents the fact that I’m a calm, gentle mare who is nice to everypony, which is why I’m the Element of Kindness.”

“I see… That makes sense,” I simply said as we reached the door to the building. Judging by the strong delicious pastry smell emulating from it, I could tell that this house wasn’t just for show; it was an actual bakery. However, I noticed that all the lights were out and that it seemed completely black inside. I wondered if we came at a bad time or if the place was closed. I got my answer the second I set hoof on the doorstep. The lights inside flicked on, the door flew open, and before I was able to process what was happening, a pair of pink legs suddenly wrapped themselves around my neck and yanked me inside…

In the Presence of Royalty...!

PAAAAAR-TAY!!!

PAAAAAR-TAY!!!

“WHOA!” I screamed as I flew face first onto the floor of the building. *THUD* “OOMPH!”

“SURPRIIIIIISE!!” shouted a familiarly shrill voice. I looked up to see a pink mare with a cotton candy-looking mane who was wearing a party hat and the brightest smile I’d seen on anyone I’d met since I came here.

“Ohh, hey I remember you…” I began as I got back up. “You’re that pony that looked at me all funny an’ ran away from me for no reason. Pinkie Pie, was it?”

“In the flesh! And the fur! And the party hat! And in Sugarcube Corner! And in—!” Pinkie rambled.

“Stop, I get it. Nice t’ finally meet you.” I looked around and saw all kinds of party decorations set up, and ponies everywhere mingling with one another. Twilight and Fluttershy were standing on either side of me, seemingly unfazed by Pinkie’s ambush of an introduction.

“It’s super-duper fantastically nice with a cherry-changa on top to meet you, too, Ponder Memoir!”

“Well than—! Wait a minute… How d’you know my name?”

“Because I know everypony in Ponyville!”

“Well, okay, but…” I began, but I realized something. “…I’m guessin’ somebody told you, hm? Who? Applejack? Rainbow Dash? Rarity?”

“All of them! Oh, giiiiirrrls!” Pinkie called. Surely enough, the aforementioned ponies in question, plus one little purple dragon walked up and stood behind the pink pony.

“Howdy, Ty!” “Hey, Ty!” “Good evening, Ty!” “What’s up, Ty?” All three mares and the dragon greeted simultaneously.

“Well hello… Wait, was this all some kinda set-up?” I asked Twilight.

“Yeah, kind of…” Twilight admitted with a giggle. “You see, Pinkie Pie throws parties for every first-time visitor to Ponyville. She didn’t know who you were when we first ran into her…”

“…which is why she ran away so suddenly when she saw you,” Fluttershy finished. “So she could throw this surprise party together to welcome you to Ponyville.”

“Ohhohoho…” I responded. “Y’all got me good. Nice job, girls. An’ Spike.”

“That’s not the only reason for this party though…” Rarity said with a mischievous inflection.

“Wait, what? What’s the oth…?” Then it hit me like… like my front door to the face. My heartbeat quickened as my eyes and mouth widened in shock and fear. “…N-no… y-you didn’t…”

“CONGRATULATIONS, TWI AND TY!!” shouted everyone except Twilight, Fluttershy and myself. I stood there, my body practically turned into a furnace, a dumbfounded expression on my face. I slowly turned to look at Twilight to see she had the same look of completely speechless, clueless astonishment plastered on her face. Her cheeks were about as red as apples.

“…She… did…” Twilight murmured.

“I knew there was somethin’ y’all were hidin’,” Applejack said with a smile.

“I knew it!” Rainbow Dash added. “Twilight was just too shy to admit that she’d found a special somepony,” she teased, smirking at the purple unicorn.

“Now now, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity countered. “I’m sure these two would have revealed their relationship sooner or later.” She turned to me. “I’m terribly sorry, but Twilight getting herself a special somepony was news much too joyous to keep to myself! I was going to keep it a secret, but then Spike and I hatched this wonderful idea!” The second I heard the part about Spike’s little idea, I glared at him. He simply looked at me with a feigned sign of innocence, which would have ALMOST been believable (emphasis on ALMOST) had it not been for the huge grin and stifled laughs.

“You… little—!”

“Oh, my! I… I had no idea you two were dating…” Fluttershy said, distracting me from the scolding I was ready to give the dragon. “Um… congratulations, you two… Yay…!”

“But we’re n—!” Twilight and I said in unison.

“Alriiight! Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie Pie announced as she swiftly raced to a nearby record-player and turned on some weird-sounding, yet oddly… catchy party music as everyone in the room began to dance. I took this as an opportunity to pull Twilight to the side to talk to her.

“We’re REALLY in it now,” I said.

“Yeah… What do we do now?” She asked.

“Tell ‘em we’re not datin’.”

“We can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“That’s half the reason for this party. Why ruin it when everypony’s having so much fun?”

“True… But we ain’t got a lotta options if we don’t tell everybody outright… I guess we could… play along with it?”

“And let everypony think we’re actually dating? Doesn’t sound too good.”

“Also true… *sigh* but hey, it’s not like this is gonna be the center of everybody’s attention for too much longer than today… right?”

“Hmm… I’m still pretty iffy about it… What if we—?”

“Hey there, lovebirds!” Pinkie Pie interrupted as she danced towards us. “You’ll have more time for chit-chat and lovey-dovey kissy-kissy later! Get your flanks out there and move with the groove!” She, with unbelievable strength, forced us out into the center of the room where a large circle was formed around the purple unicorn and me. Problem number three made itself very apparent; I had no clue how to dance as a pony.

“Twilight, I have no idea how to dance in this body…!” I whispered harshly.

“Just uh… do what I do…!” She hurriedly answered as she began to dance. I did my best to keep up with and imitate her seemingly erratic, random movements. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to get used to the routine. However, I still felt unbelievably uncomfortable. I found myself somewhat able to get into the rhythm… even if I did look and feel like a foal.

“Okie dokie, I hope everypony’s having tons of fun out there!” shouted Pinkie, who was standing near the record player. “But now, for the first time at a Pinkie Pie party, we’re gonna play a slow song to set the mood for all you couples out there; you know who you are!” she added as she looked directly at Twilight and me and winked while smiling ear-to-ear, much to our chagrin. As the party pony said, the music changed to a very slow, gentle song that greatly contrasted the previous one.

“Jeez, what a curve-ball…” I mumbled. “How’s this work?”

“Stand on your back legs and lean towards me,” Twilight instructed. “We use each other for support.”

“Okay…” Twilight and I each pushed up and were standing on our hind-legs. Steadily, we allowed ourselves to lean over into one another. Given our difference in size, I rested my fore-hooves on Twilight’s shoulders and she wrapped hers around my waist as we took slow, coordinated steps around our area of the dance floor. The dance felt extremely weird, yet familiar at the same time. It really wasn’t too different from human slow-dancing, if one disregards the fact that we were quadrupeds. Pinkie must have gotten bored quickly though, because after less than five minutes, she changed the song back to the party music that was playing earlier.

“That’s enough of the mushy stuff! Now it’s time to party-hardy-hearty ‘til ya just can’t party no more!” she shouted as she raced back to the dance floor. My goodness, could that girl move. At first, I couldn’t wait until this party was over. Part of it was because I wasn’t a very big fan of parties or dancing; in fact, I hated it. The other part of it was so I could think of a way to sort this little rumor out; if not with the whole town, then at least with Twi’s friends; not to mention have a little talk with a certain purple dragon about spreading rumors… The party went on for hours with dancing (I also caught glimpses of Pinkie moving around so wildly that she wound up shoving other ponies into walls; something that made me avoid the pink mare for the majority of it), cake, ice cream and fruit punch (which I have to say tasted kind of funny towards the end of the party… like somebody had drank directly from the bowl, but then backwashed it…), and even getting to chat with quite a few of the other party guests (even if most of them were simply asking me questions about my "relationship" with Twilight). I was actually, dare I say, having fun. By the time it was over, everyone had left with the exception of Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy and I. Rainbow and Applejack took off early because they were both exhausted from their hefty work schedules during the day. We all stood outside of the bakery, momentarily basking in the moonlight.

“Whew, what a party,” I said, fatigue evident in my voice.

“Pinkie Pie’s parties are always magnificent,” Rarity informed. “They are simply fabulous. Definitely ones you can only know of from experience.” That was actually pretty unusual to hear from her. She didn’t seem like one to enjoy parties like this one.

“Oh, you guys! Thank you!” Pinkie enthusiastically stated. “But it’s all thanks to you for being here, Ty!”

“Me? Why, what I do?” Pinkie giggled at my cluelessness.

“You silly! You were the guest of honor! The party wouldn’t have been so super awesomely spectacular with ten chimmy-cherries on top if you weren’t here!”

“Aww, thanks, Pinkie! Heh heh… But I thought they were called cherry-ch—! OOP!” My favorite snack food forcefully found its way into my mouth once again. The color and flavor this time? White strawberry cake frosting.

“Please, DO NOT get her started!” Rarity warned as she removed her hoof from my mouth.

“Y’know, I’m startin’ t’ think everybody LIKES stickin’ their hooves in my mo— ACK!” Yet another hoof in my mouth. This time, it was pink and tasted like bubblegum. Pinkie Pie giggled gleefully with a funny little snort at the end of it.

“Hey, that’s pretty funny!” The pink party mare giggled some more as she took her hoof out of my mouth.

“Y’know what? Next one t’ do that gets bit!” I playfully warned as I bared my teeth.

“Wow, Ty,” Twilight began in surprise. “Your teeth… they look so… sharp!”

“What, sharp teeth not normal here?” I asked in confusion, putting a hoof to my mouth. I assume that the shape of my teeth were the one thing the transformation spell didn’t bother to change…

“Oh, no…” responded Fluttershy. “Sharp teeth are perfectly normal… just, not for ponies.”

“Why?”

“Ponies are vegetarians. We mainly only eat plants and baked treats. Because of that, our teeth don’t need to be sharp to eat. See?” Fluttershy opened her mouth to give me a look at her teeth; all of them flat. “Only dragons and some of the animals that live in the Everfree Forest have sharp teeth. Dragons do because they eat jewels. Some animals in the Everfree Forest do because they eat other animals… you’re not either of those things… right?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why are your teeth so sharp?” asked Rarity.

“I just can’t get a break from these damn moments of extreme pressure, can I? Man, I’ss like I’m on some lie-detectin’ game show where the first lie that gets found out ruins everything for me… Good thing Applejack ain’t here… Hmm…”

“Well uh…” I shakily began, darting my eyes back and forward between the faces of the inquisitive ponies. “This is gonna sound a litte embarrassin’, but… I like to chew on things that ain’t meant for eatin’ sometimes…”

“What do you mean?” asked Pinkie.

“Like… things like ice or wood or plastic or even metal. Not that I actually eat ‘em or anythin’; jus’ chew on ‘em. That and when I can’t open somethin’ with my hooves, I use my teeth… I-it’s not somethin’ I’m proud to admit, y’know?”

“Oh dear! You… *yawn* might want to get that checked out,” Rarity advised. “That’s certainly not good for a pony.”

“Yes,” Fluttershy added. “I’ve heard of such a thing before. I don’t remember what it’s called— I think it’s Pica— but I think it happens when a pony doesn’t get enough sweets in his or her diet.”

“Really?” I asked in genuine shock. I had no idea disorders like Pica would exist in this universe, albeit under different circumstances. “How odd... AGH!” Pinkie Pie found it necessary to shove a chocolate chip cookie in my mouth. Where she even got it from, I had NO clue, because she hadn’t moved from her spot since we got out here.

“Dr. Pinkie Pie at your service!” Pinkie happily announced. Everyone had a good laugh at that. Even I laughed with a mouthful of cookie. Hey, it was better than hooves. Plus, it was delicious!

“Gee thanks, Dr. Pie,” I quipped.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

“We should probably get back home now…” Twilight said. I turned to her and noticed Spike was knocked out and snoring on her back. That little talk would have to wait. “Good night, girls!” Twilight waved as we walked away.

“Peace!” I added with a wave of my hoof as I followed the unicorn.

“Bye!” “Good night!” “Good bye!” the three mares behind us called back.

“Oh, and congrats on the new colt-friend, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted. We both cringed once again…

Dragon Tales...

Nightly Arrangements...

Nightly Arrangements...

“So… we kinda got distracted about the whole ‘us datin’’ thing…” I quietly and uncertainly said as we trotted back to the tree house.

“As I’m aware…” Twilight plainly retorted.

“Any ideas?”

“Hmm… no, none. As far as I see it, the only thing we can do now is to let the rumor ride itself out. Given how much happens around this town, it’ll probably be old news by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Right…” We were silent for a few minutes before something spontaneously popped up in my mind. “Hey, can I ask you somethin’?”

“What’s up?”

“Before we ran into Fluttershy earlier today… you looked like you was really lost in thought. What was it you was tryna tell me?”

“O-oh! That? I was just… wondering about how Pinkie’s party would’ve gone if Rarity wound up telling everypony that we’re together… which happened anyway, evidently. I couldn’t tell you then because it was supposed to be a surprise…” I was a bit skeptical about Twi’s response, given that I remember her blushing and refusing to look me in the eye, coupled with the fact that Rarity said she’d be too busy making a dress to talk to anyone except Spike… but then I thought that I was just being paranoid. Plus, that party sure was quite the surprise.

“Oh, alright. What’s on the list of things to do for tomorrow?”

“I’ll need you to look at the notebook a little more and maybe answer some more questions. After that, we could go to Canterlot to meet Princess Celestia, depending on her schedule. If she’s too busy, then I guess we could just knock all the questions out with the time we have. From there, if there’s time, we could take another walk around Ponyville.” I was amazed to see that she’d planned out everything in a matter of seconds.

“Sounds like a plan. I been wantin’ t’ see this Sun Goddess o’ yours… But seein’ as she rules this land, I won’t get my hopes up about meetin’ her for sure tomorrow.” We’d finally reached the library and went inside. I followed Twilight to her room and watched as she laid the sleeping Spike in a basket-bed and laid a blanket over him.

“I don’t suppose you have a couch or a guest room here?” I asked quietly.

“Unfortunately, no,” Twi responded. “This is a library, so this doesn’t exactly accommodate for guests. As a matter of fact, I’ve only had one sleep-over in this place. Buuuut, there’s an extra bed right over there that you can use… unless of course, you want to sleep with me,” she suggested nonchalantly. I was unreasonably caught off guard by that statement.

“…what?”

“I said—!”

“I heard you… but still…”

“What’s the problem? You’ve slept with me before.”

“Well, yeah… but I’m a pony now, an’ you’re a pony, an’…”

“And…? What’s your point?”

“Well… y’know… biology…” I tried to keep it as vague as possible.

“What are you talki—?” she began to ask, but gasped in disbelief as she finally realized my lewd thought mid-sentence. “Ty! You… you didn’t think I meant—?”

“N-no!” I hurriedly answered. She gave me a deadpan “Don’t you lie to me” look. “Okay, yes, sort of…” I admitted with shame. “But i’ss because this time, we’re the same species an’ I uh… I dunno how that would carry over from us sleepin’ together when I was a human…”

“Oh, well I don’t see how it would be too different unless…” Her eyes widened. “…Unless what you’re implying is… is that you being a pony for a day has already changed how you feel about me…?”

“What? N-no, of course not.” I brazenly fibbed as turned my head away, towards her window. I didn’t want to admit that being a pony actually did make me start to feel some type of new way for her… There were so many thoughts racing through my head. Like how it would be wrong. How I wasn’t actually a pony. How I’m human. How we don’t even live in the same universe. As a human, Twilight and I bonded quickly back in my world. But the bond was purely platonic. I had no reason or motivation to see her as anything more than a friend or a pet of sorts. But being turned into the same species as the unicorn began to toy with my mind, even though I’d only been like this for a day, which reminded me; I wouldn’t be here in Equestria forever… I refused to develop or acknowledge any unusual feelings for anypony for the indefinite, yet severely limited amount of time I was here… even Twilight. Doing so would only make my departure and our eventual separation from one another much more difficult.

“Oh, okay…” she said. I expected her to be relieved by my response, but the look I saw on her face when I turned back to face her… it seemed to be one of slight disappointment. That killed me inside.

“*sigh* Listen… I’m just overreactin’ to a foolish— or should I say ‘foalish’ assumption I made…  I’ll sleep with you… if you’re alright with that,” I offered with a sympathetic smile. She brightened up a little and smiled herself. We climbed into her bed and lay juxtaposed with each other.

“So… how’s this gonna work?” I asked.

“We’ll just turn our backs to each other, I suppose.” She answered.

“Sounds good.”

“Alright. Good night, Ty…”

“Good night, Twi…” I tried to go to sleep, but something was eating at me, keeping me awake. I knew what it was, but I didn’t know why it was bothering me like this. I eventually figured it would keep me up all night if I tried to push it to the back of my mind. “Hey… Twilight?”

“Yes…?” She tiredly asked, although she didn’t move.

“Now or never…”

I sighed quietly and swallowed hard, gaining enough courage to sit up, turn around and place a small, tender kiss on the unicorn’s cheek. Although she didn’t move from her original position, I saw her horn flicker with magic for an instant.

“Sweet dreams...” I said as I turned back around and shut my eyes. My heart was racing, but that didn’t keep me from finally finding peace as fatigue instantly overtook me. I shifted myself into a more comfortable position (as comfortable as I could get with all my limbs bending in the opposite way of what I was used to) as I was drifting off into a much-needed slumber. Sometime after I’d lost myself in a comfortable night-long ride to the infinitely vast land of dreams, I swear I felt something softly touching my own cheek and holding itself there for a few seconds. My eyes sprang halfway open, but slowly closed once again as a calm smile crept onto my face. The foreign object attaching itself to my cheek felt wet, yet… warm. It also felt like there were two of them. The objects removed themselves with a quiet pop.

“Sweet dreams, Tyshawn…” a familiar voice whispered.

Rendezvous!

Home Shenanigans 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Home Shenanigans 2: Electric Boogaloo!

I awoke from what felt like the best night of sleep I’d had in a very long time, despite how completely insane the events of the day before went. However, I found myself in a position very much unlike the one I’d gone to sleep in; The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a shaggy mass of navy blue with a streak of dark purple and pink in it. My hoof was resting on something that was… rising and falling in a familiarly slow, steady pattern.

“Ooh, wow…” I thought as I finally realized what happened. I somehow wound up cuddling up to Twilight in my sleep. “I hope she won’t be mad about this… Maybe if I just move REAL slow, I can—!”

A sudden yawn coming from the ball of blue, pink, and purple stopped my thought process dead.

“Good morning…” Twilight whispered.

“Uh… g-good morning, Twi…” I fearfully babbled.

“Oh, shit! It’s too late! I am so f—!”

“Sleeping with me wasn’t so different this time, was it?” she calmly asked as she rose from under my foreleg. I had no clue how to respond.

“Uh, I-I… um… huh?” I was baffled by her surprisingly calm reaction.

“You moved around a lot in your sleep last night. I didn’t think you were ever gonna stop… I was about ready to wake you up until you did something that surprised me; you wrapped your hoof around me and settled yourself almost instantly. I didn’t know what to do when you did that… I wanted to move, but since you finally calmed yourself down enough to lie perfectly still, and you seemed so peaceful, I decided to make the best of it and go back to sleep myself. I’ll admit, it was… nice. It felt almost like when you were a human.”

“Wow, I’m sorry…” I said as I sat up. “I guess bein’ a pony messed up how I sleep, too…”

“I’d guess so as well. From the way you were moving, it seemed like you were trying to find positions of sleep that were physically impossible for you to take in your current form, until you unconsciously found me and hugged me. I assume that was the most familiar position you could find, considering we’d slept together for three days in a row now.”

“Makes sense… I guess,” I concurred, moving a hoof to scratch my head. Something felt out of place, though… like the side of my afro mane was pushed up in a goofy fashion. Twilight’s giggling confirmed that I had a bad case of bed-head.

“Your mane… it looks so lopsided.” The unicorn kept chuckling.

“D’oh, blah,” I responded with a dismissive hoof wave. “Your hair ain’t lookin’ so hot either, scruffy.” Twilight scoffed.

“Touché… Why don’t we wake Spike and get ourselves cleaned up so we can tackle today’s tasks?”

“Aight.” With that, Twilight and I woke the dragon from his sleep (something he was none too happy about, to my amusement), got ourselves clean, and straightened our crazy-looking bed-manes up into their shapelier (in my case), more organized and publicly presentable nature. Washing up here was no different from washing up back in my universe. Despite this world being one where the dominant species was magical horses, therefore less advanced in terms of technology, it had many essential utilities and other things that humans used every day. I wondered if this world was only as different as it was because of the fact that magical ponies ruled it.

“Alright, Ty. Let’s crack open that notebook! I can’t wait to gather more information to report to the Princess for when we meet her! Which reminds me… Spike? Take a letter.”

“Okay,” Spike obliged as he grabbed a feather and a sheet of paper. “Ready.”

“Dear Princess Celestia… My guest and I were wondering if we were able to make an appointment to visit you today. He’d love to meet you and make your acquaintance. In addition, I’d like to share with you the knowledge I’ve gained from my experiences in his universe. While I am currently unsure exactly how the information I’ve acquired has any ties to my primary studies on friendship, I am sure that this information is worthwhile and may even be able to be documented, as well as open a new area of study on an entirely new subject of magic, which I will dub M.I.T.: Magic Intergalactic Travel! I’ve memorized the spell I utilized to send myself to the alternate universe, but I haven’t had much practice with it, which causes it to burn up a considerable deal of energy as of yet. As such, I currently can’t use it very often. In short, I hope to hear from you soon! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Aaaand… done! Except I might need you to proofread it… Some of those words sounded way too hard for me to spell.”

“Ugh, Spike…”

“I got it. Lemme see it,” I said. Spike looked at Twilight, who gave him an affirming nod. He reluctantly handed me the letter, seemingly ashamed of his work. “You lookin’ like somebody died. It ain’t that bad, is it?”

“…read it,” Spike mumbled.

“Alright, let’s see here… Dear Princess Celestia, my… apoin ment…? akwaintence…? nalege…? e-experianses…? a-a-acwired…?” At this point, I was trying VERY hard not to laugh at the poor little dragon’s illiteracy. I was noticeably failing, because every word he spelled wrong made me either snort, puff out my cheeks, or scoff. I was also grinning the entire time.

“Ohh, this is why I wanted YOU to do it, Twilight!” Spike complained, causing Twilight to scowl at me.

*Ahem* “Sorry. Sorry. Okay, I’ll get serious now,” I assured the dragon after I took a deep breath. “Awright then… pry marry…? What the... what is this…? Doc, you meant it? *SNORT* *AHEM* uh, where was I…? Oh, yeah… Oh, no… i-innergolacktick??” I completely lost it in a fit of laughter at that one. I dropped the paper and fell back on my haunches cracking up. I tried in vain to put a hoof in my mouth to control myself.

“Ty! That’s not nice!” Twilight scolded.

“I-I’m so s-s-sorry-hee-hee-hee-ha-ha-haaaa! AAGAHGGH! Oww…!” Twilight zapped me with a small jolt of magic to stop me from laughing.

“Are you finished?” the unicorn impatiently asked.

“Yeah… yeah I am…” as soon as I said that, Spike started stifling laughs of his own. “What?”

“Y-your hair…!” Spike choked out between laughs.

“My hair…? What… Oh, uh-uhh… No you didn’t…!”

“Take a look,” Twilight said as she laughed and levitated a mirror towards me. My jaw almost hit the floor when I saw what she did to my mane. It looked like the hair of an anime character! It was so frizzy and unruly, with every strand of hair sticking upwards in crazy zigzag patterns that made it look like I was trying to brush it with a balloon. The unicorn and dragon were howling with laughter.

“I hate you both SO much right now… Heh heh… I guess I deserved this, though. Alright, lemme proofread this letter so we can get on with the day…” I picked up the letter and corrected every mistake the dragon made (there were a LOT of them), and handed it to him. “There, happy now?”

“Thanks, Ty,” Twilight said, smiling. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Oh, hardy har-har,” I dryly responded as I walked up to her and poked her side. As I expected, she flinched and lifted a hind leg up to cover the side I'd poked.

“H-Hey, I told you not to do that!”

“Nooo, you told Tyshawn the human not to do that. I am Ponder Memoir the pony. Ponder Memoir does not recall Twilight Sparkle tellin’ him not t’ do this,” I joked as I began to hit Twilight with a barrage of pokes, which erupted into me tickling her half to death again.

“Hahahaha! T-Ty! St-st-sto-ha-ha-hop!”

“Sure… If you fix my hair,” I demanded as I kept tickling her. Of course, this didn’t last long as she once again used her magic to lift me off of her and drop me on the ground a few feet away.

“Okay… that’s… enough… distractions…” She breathlessly stated as she got up.

“I knew you were ticklish, Twilight, but wow…” Spike chimed in with a chuckle.

“If you try anything, Spike, I will turn your claws into pudding,” Twilight jokingly threatened as she giggled. “Now Ty, come here and let me fix you up so we can get started on this notebook.” I obliged as I picked my face up off the floor and walked toward the unicorn. She zapped me once again. I felt my mane with a hoof to make sure she didn’t try anything funny. “Spike… the letter.”

“Oh! Right!” Spike attentively complied as he grabbed the letter, rolled it up into a scroll and sent it on its way to Princess Celestia.

“Okay. Now that that’s out of the way,” Twilight murmured as she magically levitated the notebook from a nearby drawer and handed— I mean “hoofed” it over to me.

“Okey doke, where did we leave off…?” I mumbled. “Ahh yes, the sun-and-moon question… Alright… next up… ‘Are horses here able to communicate with humans?’ Nope. They don’t even speak. In fact, other than the basic biological similarities between horses and ponies, horses in my world hardly even LOOK like ponies here.”

“Wow… what DO they look like? What do they eat? How do they communicate with one another?” Twilight asked again and again.

“They’re much bigger than ponies— although not nearly as cute or multicolored—, as far as I know, they eat basically everything a pony eats— minus the sweets, among other things—, and they’re only capable of neighing. Basically, they ain’t nearly as intelligent as ponies are.”

“Darn… I wanted to meet one, too…”

“Bummer. Next up… ‘How is time measured here?’ We have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. There’s sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour, twenty-four hours in a day, seven days in a week, four to five weeks in a month— depending on the month—, and twelve months in a year.”

“Our worlds are exactly the same there.”

“Interesting… next… ‘How do humans communicate with one another over long distances?’ Well, we have traditional mail, which is sent an’ delivered by people. But then we have all kinds of crazy things, like phones, computers, walkie-talkies, and so on. Humans have TONS of different ways t’ communicate with each other much faster than mail. It’s hard for me to explain it because there’s so much in all that stuff that I couldn’t even comprehend it or condense into a simple explanation for ya.” Twilight and Spike just gawked at me like I was an alien… But then, I technically was.

“Phones? Computers? What the hay…?”

“Sounds like you’d need t’ pay another visit to my world t’ get what I mean. Basically, just like how you’re able to use Spike as a magic messenger, it’s just like a thing called e-mail in my world, where people are able to instantly send messages to each other, no matter how far away they are.”

“Ohh… I guess that makes a little more sense… I suppose I will need that extra trip…”

*BURP*

“Speakin’ of instant messages…” Spike caught the letter and handed it to Twilight. She quickly opened it and began to read:

Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student,

My apologies in advance for the shortness of this letter, but I’m currently very busy settling an issue between two nations in the far east who have cut each other off from valuable resources due to disagreements between their leaders. I will have time for you to pay me a visit, but it may not come until this evening. Your letter has given me much to discuss with you two, and I wish to see you as soon as possible. Give your guest my regards.

Regally yours,

Princess Celestia

P.S.: If you’re having difficulty with spelling, please let me know. This letter was very hard to read with all the spelling corrections.

Hearing that last note made me laugh.

“Great. That puts a bit of a damper on our plans for today,” Twilight stated in disappointment.

“Not necessarily. Like you said last night, we could take this as an opportunity for me t’ give you more info about my world so you can be better prepared for—!”

*SLAM*

“What the h—!”

“HELLOOOOOO, TWI AND TY!!” shouted Pinkie Pie as she joyfully bounced into the room like a rabbit with a picnic basket and blanket on her back. Following her were Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, each of whom had miscellaneous supplies of their own.

“Well hello, girls!” Twilight greeted. “What brings you all here today?”

“Umm… well we were just wondering…” Fluttershy began.

“…if you guys wanted to come along for a group picnic!” Rainbow Dash finished. “Somepony else is covering my weather patrol shift for me…”

“…while I got up bright n’ early to finish all the chores I missed yesterdee…” Applejack continued.

“…and I don’t have any huge orders to fill today,” finished Rarity.

“We’re all free as birds to do anything we want today! Like party, or eat cake, or have a picnic, or go on a ridonkulously crazy adventure like we always do, or *GASP* PARTYYY!”

“But… you said party tw… Mm?” Another hoof found refuge on my face. No shock there. The shock came from the fact that the hoof was yellow, and that it gently, yet firmly pressed itself against my lips. So, with a mouthful of Fluttershy, I huffed and took an annoyed deadpan glare at the Pegasus.

“Oh! Um… I’m sorry,” she apologized with a sheepish smile. “It’s just that ponies here know not to question Pinkie Pie on anything she says…”

“Fankf fo da hezf uh, Fwutterfy,” I flatly mumbled with the Pegasus’s hoof still firmly planted on my lips. She took it as the cue to finally take it off.

“Oops. Hee hee, sorry…”

“So anyway… You guys down to hang with us today? Or are you two lookin’ ta get romantic on your own,” Rainbow Dash teased with a wink and a nudge on Twilight’s shoulder.

“Rainbow!” shouted a flustered Twilight, her cheeks a light pink. I shook my head and sighed as the ‘dating Twilight’ rumor became fresh in my mind once more.

“Not in front-a Spike, Rainbow! What would the neighbors think?” I jokingly warned in a melodramatic tone.

“Hah! Good one, Ty!”

“Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I suppose we got the time to go on that picnic witch-y’all. How ‘bout it, Twi?”

“Sure, why not?” she responded with uncertainty. “I was hoping to learn a bit more before we did anything today, though…”

“You’ve got all the time in the world to learn stuff, egghead! Come on!” Rainbow Dash teased.

“Alright now, Rainbow. Lay off ‘er,” Applejack interjected.

“Yes, it’s entirely up to Twilight on what she wants to do. There is no need to pressure her,” added Rarity. With that, the room went silent as everyone waited for Twilight’s answer.

“Hmm… Umm… I don’t know…” Twilight was in deep thought over what she wanted to do.

“Any day now, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash rudely commented. It seemed to go unnoticed by the purple unicorn as she was still figuring out what she wanted to do.

“Y’know what? Why don’t we turn this into a learnin’ experience for all of us? Sharin’ is carin’, ain’t it?” I suggested.

“That’s a great idea!” Twilight agreed. “Okay, my mind’s made up. We will go on that picnic with you!”

“HOORAY!” everyone but Twilight shouted. With that, the unicorn gathered some supplies of her own, including the notebook, and we were all on our way…

The Goddess of the Sun...!

Carpe Diem!

Carpe Diem!

Quick Note: I couldn't stop thinking of this song while I was working on this chapter.

It was such a beautiful day outside. The skies were clear, the sunlight was comfortably warm, and everything was so serene; especially the area the girls chose to settle and set everything up. A large, grassy meadow with a single oak tree looming over the area Pinkie Pie decided to mat the blanket. The wind was cool and soft, blowing ever so gently and rustling the tree and grass.

“Wow… It seems so… peaceful here,” I stated in amazement.

“That’s what makes this one of the most desirable spots for us to have these picnics,” Rarity replied. “This area brings out such a calming and euphoric vibe on a day as magnificent as this…” she finished as she magically conjured up a luxurious-looking couch to lay her luminescent white-and-purple form on.

“I thought this was a picnic… Why do you need that couch?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Rarity here’s too scared of a little bitta dirt gettin’ on her oh-so froufrou coat to use the blanket or the ground for a proper place ta rest,” quipped Applejack as she set a basket down and pulled out some plates. We both shared a chuckle at the white unicorn’s expense.

“VERY funny, Applejack,” Rarity sarcastically remarked. “But a REAL lady knows to keep her appearance as lovely and radiant as she can at all times.”

“I’m just gonna pretend ya didn’t say that,” Applejack stated with a hint of annoyance. “Ya know, so I don’t gotta embarrass ya in front-a our guest here.”

“Alright, girls, that’s enough,” Twilight intervened.

“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie added as she pulled food out of her basket. Of course, everything the pink party mare pulled out was some kind of cake, pie, or other sweet baked treat. “We’ve got too much fun and cake and pie and tasty pastry to have and too much friend to be shipping to be fighting each other. Who needs fighting when you can have cake?” She asked as she pulled out a giant chocolate cake that should NOT have been able to fit in that basket with all the other things she packed, and set it in the middle of the blanket.

“Good point,” Applejack concurred with a smile.

“So, if y’all don’t mind me askin’, what exactly do y’all do on these picnics?” I said.

“We usually just sit, eat, and share stories with each other,” Fluttershy answered. “We get together and simply enjoy each other’s company while we catch up with one another.”

“Unless you’re like Twilight,” teased Rainbow Dash. “One of the times we did this, she was so freaked out about missing some imaginary deadline for sending a letter to Princess Celestia that she went completely crazy and hypnotized the entire town into fighting over some dumb doll. According to Scootaloo, you looked like you went insane, and tried to force her, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle to play with that doll.” The blue Pegasus started cracking up.

“You WHAT?” I asked the unicorn in shock as I laughed.

“I… kinda let my obsession with organization and scheduling get the best of me…” she answered with a sheepish titter.

“Yeah. Like making a checklist, then making another checklist for that checklist, then making another checklist for those checklists,” Spike interposed. “I had such a bad case of writer’s cramp that day…” he added as he held up his claw.

“Speakin’ o’ dolls… Applebloom an’ I caught Big Mac a few times cuddlin’ up to some ugly li’l thing in his sleep… Calls it ‘Ms. SmartyPants' or somethin’… Ya want it back, Twi?” asked Applejack.

“Ms. SmartyPants is not ugly,” Twilight answered with contempt. “But no, I stopped playing with her years ago. It’s nice to know she has a new home,” she finished in an oddly caring and motherly tone.

“Wow… that’s insane. Heh heh… Of all the things to lose ya mind over, and you chose a letter?”

“I was under the impression that the Princess expected a letter on what I learned about friendship every week, okay? But that wasn’t as bad as the time Rainbow tried to steal a book from the hospital…” Twilight grinned defiantly.

“Twilight, you’d better not!” Dash warned.

“Oh, please, do tell!” I encouraged. I was eager to hear this one.

“Well one time, Rainbow broke her wing and had to sit in the hospital for about a week. She got so bored of just sitting there that I decided that I’d give her a book to read. At first, she stubbornly refused it and called me an ‘egghead.’ She even said that, and I quote, ‘I’m an athlete! Athletes don’t read! Reading’s for eggheads like you, Twilight.’”

“Wow, Rainbow. Not a fan o’ readin’?” the sky blue mare ignored me as she sat and pouted.

“Oh, it gets better,” Twilight interjected. “So I left the book there, and when we came back to visit her a couple days later, she started acting weird like she didn’t want any of us there. I suspected that she’d taken a liking to it and didn’t want to be disturbed while she read it, but then I thought I was being silly. Turns out she really liked that book, because when she was released from the hospital before she could finish it, she decided it was a good idea to sneak back in at night and try to take the book herself.”

“Woooooow. What kinda book was it? An’ why ain’t you just ask Twi for a copy, Rainbow? She has a library, y’know,” I joked and chuckled with the group.

“Daring Do, only the most awesome book series ever. And it was because I was scared of being a hypocrite,” Rainbow shamefully admitted, still pouting.

“Aww, Dashie!” Pinkie began. “Don’t be a Grumpy McGrumpy-Pants! We’ll all get to tell an embarrassing story so you won’t feel all sad.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rainbow said as she cheered up. “If that’s the case, then why don’t you tell Ty about that time you kept harassing that donkey until he agreed to become your friend?”

“Harassin’ a donkey?” I asked. “That don’t sound like such a great idea…”

“Oh, believe me; I almost thought the same thing!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Okay, so that day was an extra-special awesome day where I was feeling more excited than usual!”

“Trust me, that’s sayin’ a lot,” interjected Applejack.

“Yeah! So anyway, I was so happy that I suddenly burst into a random song that I made up in my head on the spot that I like to call, ‘Smile,’ which is about—!”

“Lemme guess: smilin’?” I sarcastically asked.

“OOH, so close! But no; it was about MAKING everypony smile!”

“What th— But—… Ah whatever, jus’ go on witcha story…”

“Okie dokie lokie! So when I got done with the song, I came across this really sad, grumpy donkey. His name was Cranky Doodle Donkey. But don’t call him ‘Doodle.’ He only lets his special somedonkey, Matilda, call him that. So anyway, I was trying sooo super hard to get him to smile, but he just wouldn’t! I shot him with a confetti cannon filled with cake batter, had Rarity make him a new wig after I crushed his old one thinking it was a spider, and I even chased him relentlessly around the town all day just to apologize for burning and completely ruining his most prized scrapbook full of important life memories!”

“…My goodness, I can only IMAGINE why he wouldn’t wanna become friends with you after all that…” Here, I came to the conclusion that Pinkie Pie was nuts.

“I totally know, right!? So anyway, I FINALLY got him to smile and become my friend after I got Matilda to show up and give him a kiss. Say, speaking of kissing, I wonder… have you and Twilight kissed yet?”

“…WHAT???” Twilight and I asked in unified shock. I heard snickering coming from everyone but Twilight and Pinkie, who was actually dead serious about her question. The fact that she was serious shocked me even more.

“I mean, it’s totally okay if you haven’t. I get it if you guys are—! OOP!” I shoved my own hoof into her mouth.

“Nuh-uh! Next story, please!” I shouted, still very flustered. I heard more chuckles coming from everyone else.

“Say it, don’t display it! Sheesh!” Pinkie angrily complained after I removed my hoof.

“I’m really sorry… But hey, at least you know how I feel, right?” I said sympathetically as I placed a hoof on her shoulder.

“Aww, you’re right! Come ‘ere, you!” she said as she picked me up off the ground and wrapped me into the second most painful bear hug I’d ever become a victim of.

“AAAGH! How are you…! So strong…!?” I choked out as she squeezed the life out of me like a tube of toothpaste. She held me there for a few excruciatingly agonizing seconds before she decided to loosen me from her double anaconda grip. I took some time to catch my breath while everyone laughed at my misfortune. “So… who’s next on the list of storytellers?”

“Oh, I have one… if you don’t mind me going…” Fluttershy timidly said.

“Ooh, this one’s gotta be good…”

“Yes… well, no, not for the pony in the story, but—!”

“I get what you mean. Please, tell ya story.”

“Okay… there was this one time where Rarity had me try out some of her designs for a photo shoot done by famous pony named Photo Finish…”

“Fluttershy! Why’d you have to pick thaaat oneeeeee???” Rarity whined.

“Thanks for the confirmation, Rarity,” I joked. “As you was sayin’, Ms. Shy?”

“Hee hee… right. So Photo Finish decided that she not only wanted me to become a model, she also decided that she didn’t want anything to do with Rarity…”

“Hah. How ironic…”

“Yes. We tried to be happy, but it turned out Rarity got jealous of me. At the same time, I started to hate becoming a model. There was too much unnecessary attention, and I had no time for my friends. Both of us confided in Twilight to keep our true feelings secret, but she was given so many secrets to keep that she wound up blurting them all out. Luckily, she didn’t do it until after Rarity and I decided to be honest with each other.” Fluttershy was merciful in not keeping Rarity on the hot seat (no pun intended) for too long.

“Yeah, but she still blew my cover about my crush on Rarity,” Spike complained.

“Oh please, Spike,” countered Rainbow Dash. “We all coulda seen it from the highest point in Cloudsdale!”

“Ohh, it was that obvious?” Spike whined.

“Well, you were drooling over her since the instant we met her…” Twilight said matter-of-factly.

“Leave poor Spikey-Wikey alone!” countered Rarity. “He can’t help it if he has such wonderful taste in mares,” she added as she cantered over to hug and nuzzle the dragon.

“Aww, isn’t that schweet…” I teased. “Spike an’ Rarity… such a cute couple!”

“Not as cute as you and Twi,” Applejack quipped. She got me good, because all I could do there was lower my head and face-hoof while I got laughed at again.

“Oh, that’s a good one, Applejack,” Twilight sarcastically remarked. “But you know what’s funnier? That time you thought you could work yourself half to death picking up your brother’s chores while he was injured.”

“…that’s a low blow, Twi,” Applejack retorted with a small chuckle. “But I’ll tell ya what: I’ll tell this one. Okay, so Big Mac was injured, so I figured I was able t’ pick up his slack on the apple buckin’.”

“Apple buckin’?” I asked.

“It’s where ya kick a tree with both yer back legs an’ make all the apples on it fall into a basket.”

“Oh.”

“Eeyup. So anyway, I was in WAY over my head on that one cuz my work schedule was already so plum full that I stopped bein’ able to get any proper shut-eye. I kinda did more harm than good cuz of it…”

“Yeah, I’ll say…” Rainbow interjected. “She was supposed to help me with a trick by helping me propel myself into the air faster than I normally could, but she wound up catapulting me into Twilight’s house…”

“…releasing a bunny rabbit stampede all over Ponyville when she tried to round them up like they were cattle, even though I told her to be gentle with them…” Fluttershy added.

“…giving everypony who came to Sugarcube Corner one of those days a bad case of food poisoning from really icky baked bads…” continued Pinkie Pie.

“Those cupcakes were good!” Spike announced.

“Eww, Spike! You got them from the trash that day!”

“Tha'ss nasty, yo…” I said with disgust. He simply shrugged like dumpster diving was a profession of his.

“…and worst of all,  she constantly refused to let anypony help her with her chores because she was so determined to prove Big Macintosh wrong on her ability to handle more than double her workload,” Twilight finished.

“Wow, Applejack… seems like you’re the worst one yet,” I said as I laughed.

“Aw, come on!” Applejack protested. “That’s worse than makin’ the whole town fight over a doll cuz of a misunderstandin’, stealin’ books from hospitals cuz of prideful shame, relentlessly harassin’ others t’ solicit friendship, or one-uppin’ yer best friend on somethin’ she worked real hard for, then throwin’ it away?”

“Hmm, to be fair, I’d say i’ss VERY close… but you did cause a stampede of rabbits throughout the town, as well as poison a bunch-a ponies with ill-prepared food while you deprived yourself of sleep, all cuz you was stubbornly refusin’ any help from ya friends because you was tryin’, but apparently failed to prove a point to ya big bro that became invalid the minute you stopped gettin’ the rest you needed since you already overextended yaself before takin’ up the challenge. In short, yours seems to have caused the most damage, especially to yaself. So yea, you win!”

“Now that’s…!” the orange farm pony began to scream, but seemed to lose her words. “But I…! That ain’t…! *sigh* Fine, ya got me…” she disdainfully admitted.

“Aww, come on now… Don’t get so down on yaself… At least yours was the funniest yet,” I said as I consoled her by placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“Y’know what? Yea, it was pretty funny, huh?” She chuckled a little. “Thanks, Ty! Lemme show ya how much I appreciate that…” She said as she moved to hug me with a mischievous grin.

“Uh, n-no! I’m good! I’ll pass!” I said, distraught as I tried to run. I didn’t get very far. Applejack caught up to me in a matter of seconds before she stomped on my tail and dragged me towards her. All that farm work must have made her EXTREMELY fast and strong. “No! I don’t wanna hug! S-Some apple pie will do just fine! Please!” I begged.

“Aww, don’t run,” she said in mock sympathy. “I jus’ wanna show ya some love.” She picked me up so I was standing on my hind legs and squeezed me from behind much harder than Pinkie Pie did. This was no doubt the worst “hug” I’d ever partaken in.

“AAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HOW!! MY RI-HI-HI-IBS!!” I screamed as the mare crushed the life out of me.

“Applejack! Put him down!” I heard Twilight shout. Applejack obliged as she finally let go of me. I almost fell to the ground, but managed to steady myself on my hooves.

“Hah… hah… I’m not sure… which one of you… gives worse hugs… you… or Pinkie…” I breathlessly and painstakingly joked as I offered a congratulatory high fi… handsha… thumbs uh… hoof touch.

“I’m sure that’s somethin’ only you can decide,” she joked back as we touched hooves and rejoined the others at the picnic. I’d be feeling sore for weeks after those inconceivably strong bear hugs.

“So… who hasn’t told a story yet?” I asked.

“Just you, Rarity and Spike,” Rainbow answered.

“Ah, okay. So… Spike, you wanna go first?”

“Nah, I don’t have a story,” he answered. “I’m just too awesome to embarrass myself in any way. So you can go!”

“Ya sure ya ain’t got one, Spike?” Applejack skeptically asked as she smirked. “Cuz I can think of at least three for ya…”

“Yeah. Like the time you got jealous of Owloysius,” Twilight added.

“Owl-oh-what-now??” I asked.

“Owloysius, my pet owl. He came to me one night and cleaned up after I’d fallen asleep studying and Spike was too tired to finish the chores I’d given him. Owloysius quickly became my #2 assistant, and he still is.”

“I guess that explains all the hootin’ I heard last night…”

“Yep, that’s him. Spike thought I was replacing him with Owloysius… ESPECIALLY after he burned one of my books and lied to me about it.”

“Sorry, Twilight…” Spike remorsefully said.

“It’s okay… now, anyway. I still love you.”

“Thanks… I uh… luhyoutoo…” The dragon slurred the last part out of awkwardness (which I’d assume was because I was there), looking away as he pushed a finger on each of his claws together.

“Remember the advice I gave Twi and Ty, Spikey-Wikey. It applies to everyone else, too,” Rarity advised. “…even you.” She winked at him, which caused him to start blushing. I puffed out my cheeks to keep from snickering at the dragon.

“Right… Can we get back to the story now? I’d rather tell that.”

“Go… *AHEM* right ahead,” I answered, still fighting laughter.

“Okay. Where’d we leave off… Oh! The book. So Twilight found the book and got angry at me for it. I kept trying my best to make it up to her, but Owloysius was always two steps ahead of me. I eventually tried to frame him for making a mess of the library so she’d get rid of him and…”

“Got caught in the act red-handed… literally,” Twilight interrupted before taking a bite out of what looked like a dandelion sandwich.

“Heh heh, yeah… at that point, I thought Twilight didn’t love me anymore, so I ran away into the Everfree Forest…”

“You went in there alone??” Fluttershy asked in surprise.

“Yeah. It wasn’t as scary as you guys made it out to be… at least, until I went into this cave full of jewels. I thought I would’ve had it made in there…! That is, ‘til the dragon those jewels belonged to came and found me eating some of ‘em. He wasn’t too happy… He would’ve swallowed me whole if it wasn’t for Twilight and Owloysius coming to my rescue.”

“The ketchup footprints told us where he was. We barely made it out of there alive,” Twilight said in between bites.

“Ketchup? Why was there ketchup on ya feet?”

“It was one of the things I was using to try and frame Owloysius…” I shot him a look of bewilderment because I had no idea why he would need ketchup on his feet to frame an owl for messing up a library.

“Okay then…?”

“Yeah… well, that’s my story!” he announced, finally relieved. “Your turn, Rarity!”

"Oh, dear!" Rarity said in alarm. "I'm not certain I have one for you..."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Well..." she pondered as she looked at the ground with a hoof on her chin. "OOH! I've got a wonderful story to tell!"

"Le'ss hear it."

"Alright. There was this one time where a big, scary dragon had decided to take a nap in a mountain not very far off from Ponyville. The dragon's snoring was becoming a bit of a hazard for the towns-ponies because the smoke billowing from him as he snored was causing a severe case of smog over our town."

"Wow... musta been one big dragon..." How big exactly, I could only imagine.

"Oh, yes it was enormous! As a result of the dragon's resting place becoming a danger for us, the girls and I had taken it upon ourselves to embark on a journey up the mountain to reason with him, hoping to convince him to move."

"Whaaat? That sounds no less than insane! Wasn't any of you scared?"

"Pshh, it wasn't THAT scary," Rainbow proudly said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. "I wasn't afraid at all!"

"You say that NOW, Rainbow," Applejack began. "But you shoulda seen the look on yer face after Pinkie Pie spooked the daylights outta you by pretendin' t' be a dragon," she finished, laughing. Everyone joined her except Rainbow, who speechlessly glared at the orange cowpony before chuckling a little herself.

"Okay, maybe I was a LITTLE scared... I'll give you that much. But I was nowhere near as scared as Fluttershy."

"Oh, yes," Rarity interjected. "We were all a bit frightful about taking such a hazardous voyage into a dragon's lair. Fluttershy, however, was outright petrified."

"I um... don't like dragons... their big, sharp teeth and their long, jagged claws are absolutely horrifying..." Fluttershy admitted with a shudder at the thought.

"Well that don't make sense..." I said with uncertainty. "What about Spike here? He's a dragon. I assume not a very big one, but yea..."

"But Spike's a baby dragon. He's an exception, especially because of how cute he is." I saw Spike grin as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, and I've spent my entire life around ponies," the little dragon added. "Even if I was big and scary, which actually did happen one time, I wouldn't even dream of hurting anypony! I'd sooner give up all the jewels in the world than lay a claw on a pony."

"Aww, that's my Spikey-Wikey... so noble!" Rarity praised, making Spike blush. "Shall I continue my story?"

"Yea," I simply stated.

"Alright, where was I... Oh, yes! We took the trip, but Fluttershy's fear of dragons was affecting all of us. She was so afraid that she couldn't fly, she panicked once and caused a rockslide that forced us to take a long detour, and she spent almost the entire time lagging behind everypony which made the perilous journey much longer than it should have been. I felt so horrible for her, but none of us could understand her fear. In fact, all of us had hardly even known one another."

"Wow, Fluttershy..." I said with a hint of pity as I gave her a worried look. The butter-colored Pegasus simply smiled warmly at me with her long pink mane hanging over one of her large turquoise eyes as she sat, her hooves folded while she nibbled on a slice of apple pie. I suppose it was a way to let me know that she was fine, but I was sure of one thing; she was just ADORABLE!

"...when we reached our destination, each of us had tried to convince the dragon in our own individual ways," Rarity continued. "I tried to flatter him, Twilight tried to reason with him, Pinkie tried to... quite frankly, I'm not sure WHAT Pinkie tried..."

"I tried to party with him!" Pinkie practically screamed. I was SO shocked at hearing her attempt at persuasion. "That big ol' Meanie-Pants dragon wouldn't know a party from a picnic! He ruined the costume I put on, too! I worked so hard on it." I could tell she was about to go off on a tangent, but I decided, against my better judgment, to listen. "I got the idea for it from this drawing I saw one time of some weird animal that had the face of a duck, but the head of a flower, and a flagpole for a tail with the flag showing a screw and a baseball on it and the body of something... I guess it was a decorated water raft or something...?" It took me a second to realize it, but my eyes widened as it hit me that Pinkie was describing (with unbelievable accuracy) an image of Daffy Duck from a REALLY old Looney Tunes episode... I couldn't even BEGIN to fathom how she could have come across such a thing in a place where TV didn't exist.

"Right... so Rainbow Dash had tried to use brute force in the form of, according to the dragon, kicking him. In return, that beast callously blew Dash out of the cave and sent her flying into the rest of us and knocking everyone except Fluttershy out. She saw us and, to everypony's surprise, stood up to the dragon! She scolded him like a mother would her foal! It was simply a spectacular sight to behold. He backed down as if he were staring at his own worst fear and even agreed to leave! Fluttershy saved the day!"

"Whaaaaa?" I said in pleasant surprise, turning my gaze from the white unicorn to the yellow Pegasus. She gave me that same warm, inviting smile that completely betrayed the Fluttershy that Rarity portrayed in her story. "You... you are just full o' surprises, ain't you?" I asked as I smiled back at her.

"I do believe it's your turn, now," Rarity informed as she pointed a hoof at me. Everypony’s eyes widened in intrigue as they simultaneously focused their gaze on me.

“Oh boy… this is gonna take A LOTTA on-the-spot editin’…” I took a deep breath and a bite of chocolate cake before I began.

“Okay, here goes… Couple things you’ll all need t’ know, though… One: As some of you know, I’m from an alternate universe that Twilight accidentally sent herself to. An’ Two: A lot of the things I’mma mention might not make sense to y’all, so I’mma keep it simple. I’mma hafta ask y’all t’ hold ya questions ‘til I’m done.” Everyone but Spike and Twilight stared me down even harder, studying me with their eyes. I was starting to get nervous…

“So… you’re NOT from Las Pegasus??” Rarity asked.

“Nope! Never even heard-a the place. So yea, this story is about how Twi an’ I met…” I had everyone’s undivided attention here. “So… a couple days ago, I was at my house… relaxin’ from a long day o’ the daily grind when I saw this purple flash showin’ up in my room. I ain’t know what t’ think of it, cuz that type o’ thing never happens in my world, given that magic ain’t real there. So after a good minute of a small, suspenseful hurricane in my room, POOF! In comes Twilight Sparkle. When we met, she was as shocked as I was. We started talkin’, an’ she said somethin’ about a place called Equestria, but I told her she was in America.”

“America? What kind of world is that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“That ain’t the name o’ the world I live in. Tha’ss the name o’ the country in the world I live in. It ain’t all that different from Equestria, except for a few key differences…”

“And by ‘few,’ he means a LOT…” Twilight added.

“Yea. So anyway, I told her a li’l bit about my world, like how there ain’t such a thing as magic or that… um… unicorns an’ pegasi don’t exist there.” With that, I got a collective “WHAT???” from most of the group. “Yep. It was already a lot for her t’ take in, plus she said the spell she used drained her power. So she stayed with me. The next day, I told her I’d be able to take her around a small part o’ my world, so long as she could keep herself hidden inside a bag…”

“But…” Applejack began. “You ain't that much bigger n’ us! How’d ya keep Twi hidden in a bag without gettin’ spotted?"

“One of many questions you’ll have answered in due time. So anyway, I hid her in the bag an’ we went on to explore. To make sure she got as much info as she possibly needed, I gave her a notebook to record any notes or questions…”

“This notebook, to be exact,” Twilight stated as she telekinetically lifted it up from her saddlebag. “It has ALL of the information I’d collected from my time in Ty’s world, plus a lot of questions that I want him to answer.” Everyone responded with a collection of “ooh’s” and “ah’s.”

“The li’l trip we took… didn’t exactly go too smooth… On our way to a big city, we almost blew our cover when Twi was writin’ too loudly an’ squealed when I tapped her as a way to tell her t’ stop. When we did get there, though, everything smoothed out. I spent the whole afternoon walkin’ all around the place so she could get as much info as possible. She wound up fillin’ that entire notebook up. Every page, front n’ back, covered with notes. As a li’l bonus, I took her to a donut shop an’ got us a few donuts an’ a chocolate éclair.”

“Oh, yeah!” Twilight realized. “You still owe me for leaving that éclair on that bench when we—!”

“Continuin’ the story, we also went an’ got somethin’ she said don’t exist here called a ‘slushy’ before we sat down in a park an’ I finally let her outta the bag.’”

“Ooh, that sounds delicious!” Pinkie Pie happily stated. “What’s it made of?”

“I’ss definitely somethin’ you’d like, Pinkie. I’ss kinda like soda, but if it was mixed with fruit juice an’ ice cream. Take out the ‘cream,’ add in more ice, grind the ice up as much as possible, get a straw, an’ BAM! Slushy. They come in tons of different flavors, most of which are based on fruit, and they’re really cold an’ sweet.”

“*GASP* Ohmygosh, I wanna make one right now! That sounds so awesomely, wonderfully, amazingly delicious!” She exclaimed. She then started licking her own face like she had slushy all over it.

“Trust me; it is. Hah, even Twilight could tell ya. I gave her one little sip an’ she practically ripped my head off for the rest of it!” Everyone had a laugh at Twilight’s expense.

“I did not!” the lavender mare hastily objected. “I got a good enough sip to get something called ‘brain freeze,’ which, according to Ty, is a temporary headache you get when you eat or drink something extremely cold too quickly.”

“Yea, she learned the hard way, which I suffered for when she spit the slushy she had in her mouth all over me.”

“Wow, Twilight! I thought you’d be more considerate than that,” Rarity criticized as she laughed.

“It caught me off guard!” she defended.

“Yea. So we got into a li’l bit of a spat over who wanted the rest o’ the slushy more, which we resolved when we drank the slushy together...”

“We both drank it too quickly and we both got brain freeze…”

“…this caused us to almost get our cover blown a second time.”

“Some stranger walked up to us to see what the matter was. I tried to hide back in the bag. But then, remembering an agreement Ty and I made before we left…”

“Twi pretended to be my pet dog in disguise. How we pulled that off an’ got away with it still baffles me… But then after that stranger left, another one who apparently recognized Twilight spotted us…”

“I wanted to introduce myself to them and hopefully gain more information, but before I could say anything, Ty picked me up and ran like there was a manticore chasing us.”

“I couldn’t risk Twilight bein’ taken away an’ havin’ any kind of harm inflicted on her, so I did what I thought was necessary… We managed to escape the guy chasin’ us for a long enough time that I told her why she wasn’t allowed to be seen by anybody there. At first, she was upset at me, but we eventually came to an agreement, an’ she gave me one of the cutest smiles I’d ever seen…”

“D’aww… Such a romantic story…” said Rarity.

“Really?” I asked in confusion. “I don’t see how… Anyway, back to the story. So we clear things up, but the second we do, the stranger who was chasin’ us found us again. What’s worse was that…”

“He brought two of his friends along,” Twilight interjected.

“What’s weird is that… is that the two uh… stallions he brought along… had Cutie Marks that looked identical to the ones you two have…” I said as I pointed hooves at Rainbow Dash and Rarity. I was careful with my words because I didn’t want to let them know about humans or that I am one. I figured that’d be a little surprise for Twilight to show them after I was gone so I didn’t wind up scaring anyone.

“WHAT??” shouted a shocked Rarity.

“Did they look anything like us?” asked Rainbow.

“No, not in the least,” I answered. “They just had those marks on ‘em. But anyway, I hid Twilight back in the bag an’ hauled a— err… flank tryin’ t’ get away from ‘em. They eventually surrounded me. I thought we’d be done like dinner but then…”

“I came up with a last-minute spell that allowed Ty to take us back to his house.”

“I was just about t’ say…” Applejack began. “Why didn’t y’all jus’ teleport back t’ his house?”

“I had no clue where it was,” Twilight answered. “Plus, I was so freaked out and being moved around so much that I couldn’t think straight. So I cast a spell on Ty, which gave him enough of my energy that, if he kept up a constant running speed for a long enough time while keeping an image of his home in his mind, would teleport us right to it…”

“That spell worked a li’l bit TOO well… It worked in that it teleported us to my house… but what happened was that we materialized with me still runnin’. I slammed my head against the door full-force. Then, tryin’ to keep Twilight from gettin’ hurt, I twisted as I fell, but then sprained my hoof when I landed on the ground.”

“I tried to warn you about the conditions of that spell...”

“We ain’t have no time for no warnings. But anyway, there I was, barely conscious but extremely disoriented, my head leakin’ blood, my hoof swollen an’ throbbin’ with pain.”

“Oh my… it almost sounds like you tried to fight the door… and lost,” Fluttershy joked to everyone’s humored surprise.

“Ohhohoho, Fluttershy got jokes,” I said, amused.

“Oh… that was mean… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. That was really funny. Besides, if that sounded bad, you shoulda seen my door…” I garnered a light, cute little giggle out of the yellow Pegasus.

“I managed to teleport us back inside of his house, given that I was able to think clearly again, and used a healing spell to treat his injuries,” Twilight continued. “That day was one I could never forget… As completely unorthodox and outright crazy as everything went… I loved every minute of it. ” That last part caught me completely off guard… but in a way that made me feel… warm inside.

“Yea, I’ll say… So much happened that day…” I said as I looked down and shook my head, contemplating the unicorn’s most recent words. “The next mornin’, we exchanged information with each other until Twi mentioned somethin’ about a Princess Celestia an’ how she studies directly under her. With that, I decided I wanted to come here, so POOF! Here I am! The end…” Everyone was silent, fathoming the kind of universe I lived in, although having only the tiniest clue of what it’s even like, not even knowing the species of animal that ruled it, let alone all the things my world had that this one didn’t.

“Hey… how long WILL you be staying here?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“And does anypony in your world know that you came here?” added Fluttershy, which raised a huge point in my head.

“She’s right… No one back home knows where I am… They must be freakin’ out about me right now…”

“I… I don’t know for sure how long I’ll be here…” I said, now thinking about my disappearance from my own world and its effects. “But… I don’t think it’ll be for much longer… I have others in my world that’re prolly worried sick about me right now. They have no idea where I am… but at the same time, I… I want to stay here to get t’ know this place, especially all o’ you a bit better… it’s so wonderful here. I’ve only been here a day, but everything seems so much brighter, more colorful, more innocent an’ carefree an’ peaceful… I’d love to stay here longer… But I’ve been in my world for too long to keep myself here for too long for any reason...” Everyone looked at me with concern as I took a look of intense worry. I took a look at each pony, and even at Spike. But the face that worried me the most… was Twilight’s. She looked so hurt by my statement that when we locked eyes, I felt my heart drop as I suddenly became short of breath. I was rendered speechless as we stared at one another. “Twilight…” I finally mumbled.

“I… I understand your feelings…” She spoke with a slight wave in her voice. “I…”

“I… I’ll stay for a couple more days,” I boldly interrupted. “A week is the longest I’ll stay here. That’s already beyond pushin’ it for me, but I’m willin’ to make that sacrifice… for… for you, Twilight…” I knew that that would be taken the wrong way by everyone around me, but I didn’t care. I had already failed in my self-appointed mission to harbor no unusual feelings for anyone in Equestria. However, I’d spent too much time with the purple unicorn to just disregard the fact that I’d formed a bond with her… I was thinking of her more than anything else.

“A-are you sure? You don’t have to do that for me… What about your friends and family back home?” she said as her large purple eyes began to water.

“*sigh* Yes… Honestly, you made quite an impact on me since we met, even if we only known one another for less than a week… I can’t jus’ let that go… I know I’ll have a LOT of explainin’ t’ do when I go back. But I don’t know what will happen between us, or if we’ll ever meet again after I’m gone, so I will make the best of the time we have together, Twilight…” I smiled at her, finally sure that I knew what I was doing.

“Oh, Ty…” She said as she walked over to hug me; a hug that DIDN’T hurt, thank goodness… I returned the hug with gusto as everyone around us admired with “d’awws” except for Rainbow Dash, whom I saw sitting and folding her fore-legs across her chest, vehemently trying to avert her gaze, but still making occasional side-eyed glances at me. Spike was comically pretending to gag himself… that dragon’s got a lot to learn if he wants a shot with Rarity. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flying chariot headed towards us.

“Hey… what’s that?” I asked as I moved a fore-leg to point up at the chariot. Twi and I broke the hug to watch as it descended and landed gracefully beside the area the picnic was settled. Pulling the chariot were two identical, very tall white pegasi wearing golden armor that kind of looked like that of Ancient Roman gladiators.

“Miss Twilight Sparkle,” one of the pegasi sternly announced. “Princess Celestia requires your presence. She also requests that you bring a guest with you. I assume the tall black one with the unusual mane is he?”

“Unusual?” I asked, offended. “What’s so…?” I trailed off as I got a gut feeling that someone was going to take the initiative to shove a hoof in my mouth once more. I looked around and saw everyone staring at me like I was going to make a big mistake in finishing my question. I wouldn’t give anyone else the pleasure of doing so, so I sighed and half-heartedly placed my own hoof into my mouth and shut up.

“Yes, sirs. He is the guest I informed the Princess of,” Twilight responded.

“Very well. You two are to come to Canterlot now,” said the guard.

“Looks like we’ll have to continue this another time… Bye girls!” said Twilight as she took the notebook and a couple of food items, packed them into her saddlebag, and hopped into the chariot, followed by Spike.

“I’ss been real fun, y’all! I hope we can do it again sometime!” I happily added as I made my way into the carriage.

“Bye!” “Good bye!” “See ya later!” “Buh-bye!” “So long!” the five mares called back and waved as the guard pegasi flared their wings and took flight, the chariot following behind them. With that, I was on my way to finally meet the Goddess of the Sun…

Confessions and Goodbyes...

A Short Canterlot Misadventure!

A Short Canterlot Misadventure!

The ride to Canterlot was longer than I’d have liked it to be, but it was nonetheless, a new experience for me. Flying thousands of miles above ground but instead of being in an airplane, I was basically in a luxuriously extravagant portable park bench with wheels, being carried by two flying horses in gladiator armor. It was so COLD up there… The stinging chilly winds nipping at every part of my body as we made our way to this Canterlot place didn’t help, either. The high altitude allowed for less of the sun’s heat to reach us. I also felt somewhat short of breath as less warmth from the sun came accompanied by less oxygen to take in. I tried to tough it out, to no avail. I found myself shivering violently and wrapping myself with my fore-legs for warmth as I sat, eagerly waiting for this trip to be over. My miserably frigid disposition didn’t go unnoticed by Twilight and Spike. I expected them to be laughing at me because I assumed they were used to taking trips like this, seeing as neither of them was bothered by such horrid weather conditions. Instead, they looked at me with a surprising amount of concern. I tried to smile to let them know I was fine, but the drastic atmosphere only allowed me to screw up my face as I felt a chill go down my spine. Twilight took it upon herself to nuzzle up to me, which surprised me.

“Sorry…” she softly began as she shared her warmth with me. “I forgot about how harsh these trips could be for ponies that haven’t traveled to Canterlot this way instead of taking the Friendship Express…”

“F-F-Friendsh-sh-ship Exp-press-s-s?” I stuttered as I quickly wrapped my fore-legs around the unicorn, all the while trying not to make the movement seem desperate. It didn’t exactly cure me of the cold, but it sure came close enough…

“Mm-hmm. It’s a train system that takes ponies to different cities around Equestria, Canterlot included.”

“H-how come w-w-we ain’t take th-that?”

“This way is much faster and safer, although less convenient in terms of uh… passenger care…” she answered with an unsure smile. Twilight snuggled up to me and wrapped her fore-legs around me, seeming to get comfortable with the hug.

“H-how don’t this b-bother y-y’all?”

“I’ve been riding in these things since I was a filly.”

“And I’m a dragon,” Spike interjected. “I’m basically built to be immune to extreme temperatures.”

“Lucky y’all…” I said as I saw a series of extravagant large buildings protruding from a mountainside approaching. FINALLY, we made it.

“Here we are!” Twilight announced as she tried to break from the hug. “Um… you can let go now…”

“Just a liiiittle longer…?” I innocently asked with a shy smile.

“No, you’re fine now. Canterlot isn’t cold. I promise,” she responded with a short laugh. I reluctantly let the unicorn go as the chariot descended into undoubtedly THE most overly decorated medieval-looking city I’d ever laid my eyes on. The buildings were huge, each and every one of them designed like they were part of one giant majestic world, totally separate from everything else. This place must’ve been where all the rich upper-class ponies lived. Given that Twilight herself lived here at one point AND had tight connections with royalty, I began to suspect that I’d been one lucky enough to come into contact with one VERY important pony… The chariot landed in front of the entrance of an enormous, translucent white castle with what seemed to be a stylish solid gold roof. Thankfully, the atmosphere returned to one identical to that of Ponyville; pleasantly warm with a sufficient supply of quality air.

“The Princess is still not back from her international duties,” one of the Pegasus guards informed as Twilight, Spike, and I got off.

“She will send you a letter when she returns. In the meantime, Miss Sparkle, you and your colt-friend may freely explore the city,” the other guard said.

“Dammit, not these guys too…”

“Thanks. But for the record, we ain’t datin’. We’re jus’ friends is all,” I informed.

“That is not the message your snuggling with Miss Sparkle in the carriage delivered to us.”

“What?? But I—!”

“Thanks, officers. Let’s go, Ty,” ordered the unicorn. I growled in defeat and looked at the ground as I turned to follow Twilight and a snickering Spike away from the castle and into the city of Canterlot.

“I don’t get it… why is it that just about EVERYONE here automatically thinks we’re romantically involved?” I asked.

“Well… to be perfectly honest with you…” she nervously began as we trotted through the clean cobblestone streets of Canterlot. “I um… don’t have many friends who are stallions… in fact, other than you— even though you’re only temporarily a stallion— the only ones I have right now are my big brother Shining Armor, and Applejack’s big brother, Big Macintosh. All my other friends are mares save for Spike. I’d guess that since you’re the first stallion anypony’s ever seen with me that wasn't related to me or one of my best friends, they all quickly assume we’re a couple…”

“Seriously?” I asked in surprise. “Tha’ss crazy…” Now I was really curious about the purple mare. “Hey… have you… ever… actually dated anybody before? I‘m sorry if I’m pryin’ into your personal life, but I—!”

“No…”

“Whaaat? Why not? You’re cute, smart, funny, and enjoyable to talk to. I’d expect you t’ have had at least one past relationship.”

“I told you before… I was too busy with my studies on friendship and making the princess proud to worry about social interaction… Thank you, by the way…” she smiled a little.

“It’s the truth. But as for the introversion… you ain’t like that no more. Wha’ss keepin’ you from enterin’ the datin’ world now?” I noticed the unicorn beginning to blush. Spike, not wanting to hear anything, covered his ears… where-ever they were.

“I… guess I’m still a little wary about trusting anypony with my heart like that… Don’t get me wrong, though; I’d love a special somepony in my life… I just don’t know if I’m ready for such a thing yet… But I’m not completely unprepared. I’ve read tons of romance novels and love advice guides to know what to do when I—!”

“Lemme stop ya right there,” I interrupted. “Listen… love ain’t exactly somethin’ you can simply look at an’ then record into a book or learn about from readin’... it also takes first-ha— err, HOOF experience. I’m almost positive your Princess told you about that, an’ knew about that when she sent you t’ Ponyville to make some friends. Any ol’ body can write about their experiences in a book, which may be able to do as much as point you in the right direction in terms of how to love… But ultimately, I don’t think they’ll EVER equate or compare to your own experiences. Everyone has different experiences, especially with love. In terms of meetin’ a special someone… jus’… give it a shot, I guess is the point I’m tryna get across…” I said, never taking my eyes off of Twilight. I felt like I was stabbing myself in the chest with my own words.

“You’re right…” she responded as she brought her eyes up to mine. In those big, shining violet eyes of hers, I saw a glimmer… of what, I can’t rightly say. Whatever it was, it kept our gazes locked on one another for a longer amount of time than either of us would have normally allowed as we stopped in our tracks and silence filled the air around us.

“Are you two done!?” shouted a now-impatient Spike, breaking our concentration.

“O-oh, right… Sorry, Spike…” said Twilight, rattled and blushing.

“Uh, yea, my fault…” I apologized as I suddenly felt hot. “So um… where do we go from here?”

“I’m not really sure… Other than the fact that this place is much richer than Ponyville, it really isn’t that different, to my knowledge.”

“Might as well wing it, then. We ain’t really got nothin’ better t’ do before Celestia gets here,” I suggested. With that, we walked around the royal city with no particular destination. Just like the buildings, the ponies there were extremely classy. Almost all of the ones I’d heard talking spoke with some refined British-sounding accent while wearing formal clothes like they were all headed to some important event. I was sure Rarity would’ve LOVED this place. However, with classy living, of course, came snippy, elitist attitudes. Twilight and Spike had no trouble talking to the locals, given that this was their birthplace and they were well-known. I, however, was not so fortunate. Almost everyone I tried to talk to had some smart-ass remark to say about what a “low-class wretch” I was or how “uncivilized and backwoods” I looked. Otherwise, they’d stick their nose up in the air with a “Humph!” while they’d walk off. I did get an actually kind response like a wave or even a “Hello,” here and there, but those were few and far in between. The hasty judgments based solely on how I looked were getting on my nerves quickly. I was biting my tongue harder and harder to keep from saying something that would get us (or at least me) kicked the hell out of here.

“Are you okay, Ty?” Twilight asked with concern.

“*sigh* I’m good. Why?” I said with a poorly hidden sense of frustration.

“I see how everypony’s treating you here…”

“Yeah, and it’s not pretty,” Spike added as he laughed.

“Spike…” Twilight said, not amused by Spike’s comment.

“What? It’s true!”

“Whatever, le’ss jus’ keep goin’…” I bitterly suggested as I shook my head.

“Alright, then…” the unicorn unsurely responded.

We had to get out of there quickly, because there was only so much verbal abuse I could take before I lost it. This culminated in one pony with an overly gelled-up blond mane, a monocle, a Cutie Mark of a piano, and a black suit jacket doing the upward-snouted “Humph!” after I tried to ask him if the day seemed nice. However, what set me off was that I heard the light blue unicorn stallion, who seemed no taller than Twilight, mumble something under his breath that sounded like “…trash…”

“Oh, aight, be that way!” I snapped, stopping the stranger in his tracks as he turned to me with a look of shock. I’d become noticeably aggravated with the unnecessary mistreatment. “Ah’ont need ya shitty approval anyway, you snooty mothafu—!”

“Ty!” Twilight interrupted, snapping me out of my rage as I straightened up my face before turning to the lavender mare. “Don’t let these ponies get to you. They’re just not used to newcomers here. Let’s just go back to the castle now… this doesn’t seem to be going so well…” I stopped, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.

“You’re right… I jus’ lost myself for a sec…” I concurred.

“Well, I never!” the blue unicorn shouted, appalled by my outburst. “I demand a proper apology right now!” Hearing his voice angered me as I glared at him from the corner of my eye.

“After you blew me off, then added that little comment you mumbled about me bein’ trash, you seriously expect an apology from me?” I calmly asked the unicorn.

“Oh, my… Y-you heard that?” the unicorn asked back, suddenly afraid of me.

“No, I jus’ thought it up an’ I decided t’— Yes, I heard it!” He took that remark as a sign to high-tail it out of there.

“Hmph. And you said Canterlot WASN’T cold…” I quipped as we changed direction back towards our point of entry into the large, elegant city.

“Well, I meant temperature-cold. I didn’t really expect the ponies here to be so cold to you. They were never that way to me…” Twilight answered in wonder.

“Maybe not to your face…” I said with a raised eyebrow. “I can only imagine how many of ‘em gossip around here…”

“You might be right… Come to think of it…” Twilight pondered.

“Hey Ty. Quick question…” Spike said in a curious tone.

“Wassup?”

“What were you about to say to that unicorn? That he was a snooty mother… what?”

“Uh, um… y-you don’t wanna know…” I nervously replied. I was in no way going to be responsible for teaching profanity to little kids (or baby dragons), especially if I haven’t heard those words being uttered by anyone I’d come into contact with here.

“Oh, okay… what about that other thing, though? About you not needing his shi—?”

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Spike, I was jus’ mad at the guy. Le’ss not be goin’ into specifics about what I said to him, because it wasn’t nice o’ me. Tha’ss all you need t’ know. Sorry you two had to see an’ hear that.”

“It’s okay,” Twilight responded. “Nopony’s perfect. I would’ve probably done the same if everyone I tried to talk to treated me like how they were treating you, except maybe… not quite so angrily,” she added, making me chuckle a little.

“I’m pretty sure you woulda found some way t’ mess with anyone who gave you a hard time, seein’ as you got magic an’ all. You don’t even gotta get mad.”

“Yes, but I prefer the ‘love and tolerate’ approach. If you can’t find a way to love it, then at least find a way to tolerate it. It makes everypony much happier. You should try it!”

“I guess… But you saw how ‘easy’ it was for me t’ tolerate bein’ insulted like that again an’ again…”

“Believe me on this one, Ty; when there’s a ‘will’, there’s a way… On a different note, would you like a dandelion sandwich?” she asked as she magically lifted a sack out of her saddlebag and opened it up to reveal two dandelion sandwiches and a handful of jewels of various shapes, sizes, and colors. I almost asked Twilight why she had jewels stored in the same place as food, but then I remembered what Fluttershy told me about dragons eating jewelry.

“I’ll take those jewels,” Spike hungrily said as if anyone else was going to take them.

“Sure… why not?” I answered with uncertainty before taking one. I was very apprehensive about eating a sandwich where the “meat” in it was flowers… but it WAS Twilight’s favorite food, so I figured, “what the hell?”

“I think you’ll like it. It’s delicious,” she tempted as she took a bite of hers. She seemed to savor it thoroughly.

“If you say so… *gulp* bottoms up…” I murmured. I took a small bite out of my sandwich, and almost spit it back out as soon as the flower made contact with my mouth. The bread was fine, seeing as it was wheat. The dandelion, however, was a whole different story. It was like someone had taken some celery, soaked it in grapefruit juice and vinegar, and then threw some tree leaves and sugar on it for good measure. Basically, it was extremely bitter and watery with a slight hint of sweetness. I didn’t want to be rude to the little unicorn, so I instead swallowed the piece of sandwich without chewing it further.

“Sooo…? How is it?”

“…scrumptious,” I uneasily replied, hiding my disdain behind a plastered-on smile. She smiled at me, and then continued to eat her sandwich. I figured that throwing mine away was not an option and neither was holding it, so I did what any sensible person/pony would do; I shoved the whole thing into my mouth and chewed rapidly while fighting my obviously angry gag reflex before swallowing the accursed thing in increments.

“Wow, the whole thing in one bite?” Twilight asked with pleasant surprise. “I’m impressed!”

“Eeyup, you sure can make one mean sandwich!” I felt my eyes tearing up from the sandwich’s intense battle with my throat.

“Well thanks! In that case, I almost wish I’d have brought more for us to share…”

"Thank Princess Celestia that you didn't..."

“Oh, what a bummer. Oh, look, we’re here!” I announced as we approached the enormous castle we’d been dropped off at. We trotted up the main stairwell where the two guards were standing. They, without so much as making a vocal sound, opened up the humungous wooden door and allowed us inside…

An Urgent Discussion...

In the Presence of Royalty...

In the Presence of Royalty…

I thought the outside of the castle was a sight to see, but the inside just blew me away. The first room we entered, although it was only the foyer, was HUGE! There were very expensive-looking vases with beautiful flowers and mini statues of what seemed to be the rulers of this land lined by the entrance. Looking around, I saw a plethora of corridors and doors wooden stakes hung up in between them. I suppose that they ignited the stakes for light at night. There was also a very large, wide stairwell in front of us that seemed to have multiple floors with even more doors and hallways. I looked up and saw that the ceiling was at least a hundred feet high with the biggest diamond chandelier I’d ever laid eyes on hanging from the center of it.  There were velvet carpets lining the center of each hallway and the stairwell while the floor had a black-and-white checkerboard layout. There was even one giant circular rug placed in the center of the foyer that had a picture of the sun on it. That’s not even half of it. There was so much to see in just that one room. I was mind blown, to say the least.

“Whoa…” I muttered.

“Pretty amazing, right?” Twilight asked nonchalantly.

“Amazing… doesn’t even begin to describe this…” she giggled at my being awestruck.

“Well, if you think THIS is beyond amazing, wait till I show you the rest of this place.”

“But there’s so many hallways an’ doors…! You sure you know ya way around here?”

“Like the back of my hoof. C’mon, I’ll show you around!” I agreed, and she led me through the colossal maze-like castle. After a few twists and turns, we eventually found our way to an extravagant garden with very precisely and shapely trimmed hedges all around with flowers of many a kind budding out of them. At some point, I noticed a peculiar looking statue at the center of the garden… It looked like some kind of snake monster with the head of a goat and a body made up of random animals, frozen in a pose that looked like the creature was about to get hit by a train or something. I got such a sudden, strong creepy vibe from it… like something inside it was alive and trying to escape.  Rather than ask Twilight about it, I averted my gaze from it because of how off-setting it was. I was also pretty sad that I didn't see any water fountain in the area to drink from to get the aftertaste of that dandelion sandwich out of my mouth...

“This place… this is just… wow…” I mumbled in awe as we left the garden to trot down another long corridor.

“You still haven’t seen much,” Twilight informed matter-of-factly. “The library will blow you away for sure!” She seemed to be getting a joy out of showing me around, given my speechless reactions to everything I’d seen. I felt like a child going to a museum for the first time.

“That reminds me… you said you lived here in Canterlot, right?”

“That’s correct. In fact, when I went off to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and became the Princess’s star pupil, I actually lived here in this castle for a while. That’s how I know this place so well.”

“Yea, I thought so…” I said as I shook my head in complete disbelief. “Y’know, I’m… startin’ t’ get the feel that there’s a WHOLE lot more t’ you that I ain’t catchin’ on to…”

“Is that so? What makes you say that?” she asked with a sense of cluelessness I could tell was at least partly false.

“Oh, I dunno,” I answered, playing dumb. “Just a hunch, I guess.”

“A hunch, hm? Well then I hope this little adventure won’t be too shocking for you,” she said as she turned and winked at me. I laughed and left it at that. I liked the surprises, so I figured we’d keep playing this game. Eventually, we reached the library, which looked like it was at least ten times as big as Twilight’s tree-home library. Surely enough, every shelf was filled with books of possibly every subject imaginable in this universe (except intergalactic travel, I assumed). It had a circular shape with a giant hourglass in the center.

“So Ty… What do you think of this place?” Twilight asked as we wandered through the vast assortment of bookshelves.

“I feel like I only seen a small part of it, since everything we came across is so giant!” I answered in awe as I scoured the library with my eyes. Almost immediately after I finished my answer, I heard a *GASP* come from the unicorn as I inattentively bumped into her. “Wha?”

“It’s Princess Cadence…!” whispered a now-giddy Twilight, who was pointing straight ahead. I looked and saw a pink unicorn with a long pink, purple, and blonde mane and tail blissfully perusing through some of the books while humming a sweet little tune. She wore a small gold tiara, a gold necklace, and gold horseshoes. The odd thing about her is that she also had wings… This “Cadence” was the first winged unicorn I’d laid eyes on in this entire world. She was about my size (maybe somewhat smaller, yet still noticeably larger than Twilight), and gorgeous, if I may say so myself. Her Cutie Mark was one of a heart-shaped crystal with two gold wing-shaped things (I had no clue what they were) under each side of it. “Cadence…! Over here…!” Surely enough, the winged unicorn mare turned to face us. Her own face lit up with a similar inflection of joy as Twilight’s.

“Twilight! Spike! Hey, how are you guys!? I haven’t seen you since the wedding reception!” greeted Cadence as we closed the distance between us. Even her voice was majestic. Spike climbed off of Twilight’s back and almost immediately after, the two unicorns began to do some strange, seemingly childish dance together.

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” the two quietly chanted as they went through the motions of what I guess was some kind of secret hoof-shake. I was a little confused as I watched, but what REALLY threw me off was the “do a little shake” part, seeing as I was standing right behind Twilight as she stuck her butt up and wiggled it in front of me. Her tail swung haphazardly, hitting me in the face a few times as she finished her little dance. I completely froze as I sharply exhaled and gawked at the purple unicorn.

“Um… Twilight?” Cadence said as she sat up and pointed one hoof at me while putting another one to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“What…?” Twilight asked, perplexed with her rump still poking towards me as she turned her head around. “*GASP* Oh my gosh!” Twilight caught on as she swiftly sat down on her haunches and her face instantly became as flushed with embarrassment as mine was. Spike must’ve been getting quite the gut workout because he fell on the floor cracking up, holding his sides and kicking wildly into the air all the while.

“Uh… *gulp* wow…” I sheepishly muttered, my eyes still wide with shock. “Nice uh… dance…” was all I could think to say as I looked away, rubbing the back of my neck with a hoof.

“I’m so sorry!” Twilight hurriedly said, still facing towards Cadence, yet looking down. I guess she was too embarrassed to look at me. “I-I forgot you were behind me!  I saw Cadence, and Sunshine, Sunshine, and I… Ohh!” She was outright panicked. She crouched to the ground and covered her face in shame.

“Aww, even as a full-grown mare, you’re still the adorable little filly I took care of all those years ago…” said Cadence as she walked over and ran a hoof through Twilight’s mane to console her. The lavender unicorn perked up enough that she was able to stand and turned to face me, although she could hardly look at me.

“I um… I—!”

“N-No, you’re fine,” I shakily interrupted. “I prolly shoulda moved. But uh… at least… at least… um…” I stammered over my own words and froze as I drew a blank.

“Come on, fool! Say somethin’! Anything that’ll make this whole thing wash away!”

“…at least you have a nice figure…?” I finally finished. That only made Twilight blush even more as Cadence giggled a little while Spike continued dying of laughter on the floor. I instantly regretted saying that.

“Oh, that's smooth, you stupid son of a—!”

“Th-thank you…” Twilight murmured as she stood looking at the ground and brushing one fore leg with the other. She seemed to almost become another Fluttershy. I have to say, she was pretty cute with the way she was acting, even if it was my fault.

“Soooo…” Cadence announced, in an attempt to shed the awkward air. “Who are you?” she asked me.

“I’m uh… Ponder Memoir, Mrs. Princess Cadence, ma’am” I politely answered.

“Please, just call me Cadence.” For a Princess, she sure was cool.

“Oh, okay. But yeah, I’m here with Twilight to visit Princess Celestia. We’re waitin’ for her right now.”

“Oh, so you must be the guest Auntie Tia was telling me about!”

“She told you about him?” Twilight asked with small surprise as she turned again to face the royal winged unicorn.

“Oh, yeah, she seemed to be so excited about meeting you two before she was called off to run her errand. She couldn’t stop talking about how her most faithful student of all ponies wound up being the one to cross intergalactic borders— by accident, no less— and even managed to bring proof of her travels… which I’d guess would come in the form of you, Mr. Memoir.” A Princess calling ME Mister? This pony gained my respect instantly, along with a little admiration for her calm, level-headed nature. I saw Twilight’s face brighten up with such a look of ecstatic vigor that I thought she’d spontaneously rocket up through the ceiling with excitement. “I even told Shining Armor! You should’ve seen the look on his face… You’ve made us so proud, Twilight!” the pink princess finished as she hugged the little unicorn.

“Oh, thank you so much!” Twilight said as she returned the hug. “You don’t know the half of how great that makes me feel! But since you’re here, there’s something else I feel I need to talk to you about…”

“Hm? What is it?” Cadence curiously asked as the two unicorns separated.

“I uh… I’d rather not say in front of the boys here… It’s… kind of personal...” I took that as a clue that these two wanted some girl-time. However, I was curious.

“Well, what’s so personal that me an’ Spike can’t—?” I began to ask.

“Do you REALLY wanna know?” Twilight quickly interrupted, giving me a look of suspicion.

“Hm… prolly not… I guess you’ll be wantin’ me to take Spike an’ disappear somewhere so you two can talk?” I asked.

“That depends… Spike, do you know your way around the castle?”

“Almost as well as you do!” Spike enthusiastically answered as he climbed up onto my back. I almost flinched at how sharp his claws were.

“Ouch! Hey! Watch them claws o’ yours,” I complained.

“Why don’t you show Ty around for a little while Cadence and I catch up?” Twilight suggested.

“Ooh, some male-bonding time! How exhilarating!” I said with as good a British accent as I could muster with an intentionally goofy smile. I got a giggle out of Cadence.

“Err, Yes! Male bonding!” Twilight agreed with what seemed to be a little haste. I wondered what was so important that she didn’t want me or Spike there to hear it… but then I decided it wasn’t really important what the reason was, seeing as this was an opportunity to get to know this oh-so mysterious purple dragon a little better. “Now you two go. Let’s meet up back here when you’re ready!”

“Alright. Away we go, trusty steed! Hyah!” Spike joked as he kicked his heels into my sides. I winced and grunted in pain because he kicked me right in my Applejack and Pinkie Pie wounds.

“Dammit boy, I might be a pony, but we ain’t playin’ no game o’ Horseback Hero!” I scolded as I turned to walk out the door. “Besides, I’m still achin’ from those brutal hugs…”

“Have fun, you guys!” Twilight called as she waved at us.

“And it was truly a pleasure meeting you!” added Princess Cadence. I turned and smiled as Spike and I were off to have a little adventure of our own…

A New Mission...

Dragon Tales...

Dragon Tales…

“So… what’s up with you?” I nonchalantly asked the dragon as we began our trip back to the foyer through the garden.

“Nothin’ really…” Spike responded. “…but the REAL question is… what’s up with you…”

“Same here. Y’know, be—!”

“…and Twilight?” He caught me off guard.

"I seem t' have a knack for not expectin' things I should expect. Gotta work on that…"

“Oh! Um… w-what about me an’ her?” I asked dumbly.

“Oh, don’t think I don’t see it,” Spike teased. “I might be a baby dragon, but I wasn’t born yesterday. You like her, don’t you?”

“Well of course I like her. Who wouldn’t? She’s a very nice, friendly pony.”

“No, I mean you like like her. Like how I like Rarity.”

“What? No way!” I sternly denied, despite the air becoming suddenly hot. “She’s… just a friend is all…”

“You’re not fooling anyone, y’know. I heard you two kissing last night.” He started drilling me. I wasn’t sure what to be more ashamed of: The fact that I was actually becoming infatuated with a unicorn from an alternate universe, or the fact that a dragon child from said universe was digging into me about it.

“It was jus’ a peck on the cheek good night!” I shouted, losing control of my voice volume.

“Ah-ha! So you DID kiss her!” I gullibly fell for that bluff. Spike started laughing. “Oh man, I was just joking, but wow, you’re serious?”

“This li’l sonuvabitch is craftier than I thought…”

“…you sneaky little… *sigh* fine, yes, I‘ll admit that I AM startin’ t’ like like her,” I confessed. “I don’t know why, I don’t want to, but… I am. But you hafta understand that I can’t do anything about it, for obvious reasons.”

“Well, why not?” Spike was a bit puzzled. “I’m pretty sure she likes you, too.”

“Oh? And how do you figure that?”

“Trust me: I know Twilight, so if she starts acting unusual, I’m usually the first to pick up on it. Here’s an example; when you two got done talking about love earlier, you were giving each other ‘the eyes.’”

“The… eyes?”

“Staring each other down like lost puppies.”

“Oh, that…” I remembered as we reached the doorway and entered the hallway. “That don’t prove nothin’, though. Maybe she jus’ liked what I was sayin’.”

“Still in denial, huh? Okay, then.” Spike was playing detective, and he was making it look easy. “Answer me this, Ty: Why do you think she wanted to talk to Cadence—?”

“To catch up with her, obviously.”

“…without us being there?” He raised an excellent point.

“Well… maybe they jus’ wanted some girl time…?”

“Hmph. Well to be fair, since you don’t know, Princess Cadence is widely known as the Princess of Love,” Spike informed. “Given that…— take a left here— she’s probably some kind of love advice guru! Take that into account with what Twilight told you about her experience with stallions, or lack thereof, and what do you think she wanted to be alone to talk to Cadence about?” The evidence was piling up, but I refused to accept it. I couldn’t accept it.

“It… no… but why? She knows I can’t be here long. She knows I’m not a stallion… that I’m actually human… Why…? I don’t understand…”

“Beats me,” the dragon uncaringly answered, finally stumped as we headed into a giant kitchen that was reminiscent of one of those kitchens seen on professional cooking shows, minus the stands for the audience to sit in to watch the chef. Spike pointed me towards the refrigerator so that he could stand on my back and take a bucket of ice cream out of the freezer before we headed back out. Reentering the hallway and continuing back to the foyer, I lost myself in thought about a number of things: Spike’s analysis of Twilight’s reason for wanting to be alone with Princess Cadence, the possibilities of my friendship with the little purple unicorn, the consequences of our emotional attachment to one another, and even… what it would be like to actually date her. But that last one, I had to shake out of my head, seeing as I would not allow myself to do it. Spike was simply sitting on my back, wolfing down that ice cream like it was the last he’d ever have.

“Spike…”

“Yeah?”

“With Rarity…” I began, unsure of how to approach it, but knowing the point of what I was about to ask. “Do you ever feel like… like you can’t ever actually date her? Due to… limitations of any kind that are outta your control?”

“If you mean because I’m a dragon and she’s a mare, then yeah… sometimes, I do…” he somberly answered to my shock.

“Why?” I had some valid answers myself, but I wanted to hear his.

“Well, other than the dragon-pony deal… I’m much younger than she is, and she hasn’t exactly shown me any clues as to liking me… at least, not in the same way…”

“With the way she was treatin’ you at the picnic? How could you not be sure?”

“Well, she’s been that way towards me ever since I made the second biggest sacrifice of my life— the first being when I realized I didn’t want to become a typical dragon, instead choosing to live with ponies— by giving her this big, beautiful heart-shaped ruby I was saving for my birthday to eat. In return, she kissed me on the cheek after telling me that that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for her. Funny thing is, on my birthday, everypony gave me a gift, which awakened something inside me. I wanted more and more material things for no reason, no matter if I had use for it or not. Turns out the reason for that was because I was actually –and rapidly— growing into the full-sized dragon I was supposed to be. It wasn’t until I started terrorizing the town in a fit of greed-fueled rage and pony-napped Rarity, who defended that same ruby when I took a look at it, that I realized a couple things: One, that it’s more worthwhile to give than to receive, and Two, that she actually meant what she said.  My memories came flooding back thanks to her and I reverted back to the way I am now. From that day on, I became her ‘Spikey-Wikey.’ She even gave me another kiss on the cheek.”

“Wow… That’s quite a story…” I began as we reached the foyer, went up a few floors via the stairwell, and then continued in our original direction. I was actually impressed by Spike’s knowledge and experiences. They betrayed his age greatly. Still, I wanted his opinion on his feelings for the white unicorn mare. “So… why are you still so unsure about her feelin’s towards you after all that?”

“Because sometimes… I feel like she… like she just sees me in a similar light to how Twilight sees me… like a little brother…” he answered with what sounded like remorse. I even heard him sniffle. “I mean, I’m okay with the nickname and the special treatment I get from her… but it hurts to think that she does it for a different reason than I want… I mean, I do almost as much for her as I do for Twilight, yet there’s still this nagging feeling that I’ve become… TOO helpful to her… To the point where I’ve accidentally made her see me like how Twilight sees me…” He suddenly perked up. “But I’m NOT giving up hope! Someday, Rarity WILL be mine!” He shouted with newfound vigor. I admired his expectantly childlike enthusiasm and strong sense of faith; even though I knew for a fact that Rarity, a full grown pony mare, would probably never even consider thinking of Spike in the way he wanted her to think of him, mainly for physical reasons.

As we entered the door to yet another hallway, we momentarily stopped talking. He was finishing up his ice cream, and I was thinking about his relationship with Rarity as compared to mine with Twilight Sparkle. His situation was similar to mine in some ways… I wasn’t sure exactly how old Twilight was, so I couldn’t say anything about age difference between the two of us. However, just like how Spike and Rarity would possibly never be together because he was a dragon, it was the same as how Twi and I could probably never be together… because I’m human. And just like how Spike was much too young for Rarity, assuming she’d ignore his being a dragon, it was, in some bizarre way, similar to how Twilight and I were separated by entire planes of existence, although not as severe.

Sure, she could possibly pop into my world to pay me a visit and/or maybe bring me here to Equestria on occasion once she learned how to better control that spell of hers, just like how age difference stops becoming too big a deal once two lovers are full-grown adults (Though, I’m sure even that would still get in the way in Spike’s case)… But the fact still stood that Twilight had to transform me into a pony for me to be accepted here. Not to mention that I’d have to hide her if we went anywhere in my world (unless of course, she was able to learn how to transform herself into a human girl… I’m sure THAT would be a sight to see…), but that point still stood strong. Even so, the fight against my new-found affection for Twilight found itself becoming steadily harder with the longer I remained here, especially as a pony.

“Say… if you DIDN’T have to eventually go back to your own world and got stuck as a pony… would you date Twilight?” Spike asked.

“Well… I’m not entirely sure. I’d hafta ask you the same about Rarity if you were a pony her age…”

“Are you kidding!? I’d be all over her like Pinkie Pie on chocolate cake!” We shared a good laugh as we trotted through the hall. This one seemed much longer than the one going towards the garden.

“Yo, how is it livin’ with Twilight?”

“It’s awesome, to say the least. And that’s not just because I’ve lived with her my entire life. She takes care of me, protects me and most of all, she loves me. The least I could do for her in return is be her #1 assistant by helping her with her studies, looking out for her whenever she has a problem, and even keeping the library clean whenever she has an errand to run. Honestly, she’s been like the mother I never had… But don’t tell her that.”

“Hah, why not?”

“Because that’s too mushy! I’m a growing dragon, and I wanna be big and tough; not emotional and gooey and stuff…” It seemed that even with his impressively vast assortment of knowledge and wisdom, he still had much room for growing up. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I hear ya. Your secret’s safe with me, so long as this whole conversation stays between us,” I suggested.

“Deal!” He excitedly answered as I stopped to reach a hoof around my shoulder to give the dragon a promising hoof-claw shake before continuing. We reached the end of the hallway opened the door to find ourselves outside, standing on top of one of the castle walls. Just a few feet ahead was a large watch tower with two dark gray unicorn guards standing near the entrance. There was one additional guard who didn’t have a helmet on, apparently keeping watch of the area down below from where he was standing in the middle of the pathway. He was a unicorn about my height, with a shoulder-length dark blue mane with light blue stripes in it. His armor was noticeably different from the other guards; it was purple with golden trim and it had a symbol on the chest plate that looked strikingly similar to Twilight’s Cutie Mark. He turned to us with a look of stern wariness.

“Halt! Who goes there?!” asked the unicorn guard as he took a position of attack, freezing me in place. His look and pose shifted to one of relaxation as soon as he looked at Spike on my back. “Well hey there, Spike! What brings you here?” He asked as he approached us. I took a step back in apprehension.

“Don’t worry, he’s cool,” Spike assured me. “Hey, Shining Armor! We’re just here waiting for Princess Celestia to return so we can talk to her about our visitor here.” At last, I’ve met Twilight’s older brother. He sure was a tough-looking guy.

“Ohh, so you’re Twiley’s new colt-friend,” He said in a surprisingly calm tone. I figured he’d been talking to the guards who brought us here, so I didn’t overreact to his assumption.

“No, Mr. Armor, sir,” I politely answered, still a bit nervous. “I’m jus’ a friend o’ hers. Whatever you heard about us bein’ together like that, I’m sure was some kinda crazy rumor. In fact, I’m from—!”

“An alternate universe, correct?”

“Yea. How you know?”

“My wife Cadence told me about it. She mentioned something Princess Celestia told her about Twiley using some strange spell by accident to send herself to your world. Man, I tell ya; that girl never ceases to surprise us… it makes me proud to be her B.B.B.F.F. By the way, have you seen Cadence? I have no idea where she went.”

“Your… what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Big Brother Best Friend Forever,” he informed with a chuckle.

“Hah, first that little sunshine dance with Cadence, now this…” I said as I laughed with him. I figured Twilight must’ve been showered in love and affection as a filly, which was no less than admirable. “But yea, we jus’ left her an’ Twi at the library. Speakin’ of which, you think we should go back, Spike?”

“Sounds good,” he answered.

“Mind if I tag along?” asked Shining Armor.

"Not at all. The more the merrier, Mr. Armor,” I responded.

“Please, just call me Armor. I didn’t catch your name, though.”

“Ponder Memoir. But everybody jus’ calls me ‘Ty.’”

“’Ty?’ How do you get that out of ‘Ponder Memoir’?” He had a good point. Funny how no one up until this point had questioned me on that. However, I wasn’t going to reveal my real name here.

“Because… I’m always… TIED up in my thoughts!” I joked with a nervous chortle. I felt like that was probably the dumbest joke I’d ever made. I could even hear the cliché “Ba-Dum-TSS!” drum riff in my head.

“Haha, that’s a good one! It makes sense, too, given your name,” he said. I was pleasantly surprised to see Shining Armor had enjoyed that quip. I heard Spike let out a short chuckle as well.

“Quick question before we go: you sure you won’t get in trouble by leavin’ your post?”

“Nah, my break just started. I’ve got the hour to myself.”

“Okey doke! Le’ss be out!” I said as Shining Armor, Spike and I began our journey back to the library…

Minor Setbacks and Technical Difficulties!

Rendezvous!

Rendezvous!

“So... you’re Twi’s older brother, huh?” I asked with intrugue as we trotted our way back down the long hallway.

“That I am,” the burly guard unicorn proudly, yet humbly stated.

“Hm… Forgive me for this, but you two don’t exactly uh… look alike.”

“Yeah, we get that a lot. Twiley looks more like our mom, except her colors are a mix of both of our parents. I, on the other hand, look more like our dad, but I have our mom’s coat color. I also grew to be much bigger than all of them.”

“I see… How long have you been part of the Royal Guard here?”

“Since I was a colt. I’d always dreamed of being a big, strong, tough guard who kept the Princess and all the citizens of Canterlot safe. I admired the sheer unfaltering dedication these guys have towards keeping Canterlot and Princess Celestia safe. I love this job almost as much as I love the ponies who helped in motivating me to do it. You could imagine my surprise when they asked me to become captain… They said it should've taken me at least thirty years! I set the record for being the youngest appointed captain yet.”

“Is that so?” I asked. “You mus' be quite the talented guardsman. You’re not afraid that the lives of ponies all over this city depend on your ability to lead, not t’ mention yours and all the other guards’ abilities t’ fight for your land and leader? Not t’ sound negative or nothin’, but man does that sound scary…”

“I’ll admit that at first, it had me a little rattled because of the possibility that I and all the other guards would be faced with situations where we’d have to lay our lives on the line… But after I realized how much of an impact I’d be making on other ponies’ lives, whether they acknowledge it or not, I cast aside my fears and worked towards becoming the best guard I could be… Not just for me, but for the sake of protecting other ponies. Plus, this is my dream job! And I've got a lot to show for it...” he answered with a chuckle. “My little sis is the most powerful unicorn in Equestria— second only to the Princesses themselves—, I’m a captain in Celestia’s Royal Guard, AND I’m married to the most beautiful, kind, gentle, loving mare in existence… man, life is good.”

“Wow, y'all got it made out here, huh? And Twi’s THAT strong…???” At this point, all doubts in my mind about Twilight’s importance in this world were cast aside. Twilight Sparkle, the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, sister to Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, who was a captain of an elite military regiment, niece-in-law AND protégé to this all-powerful Princess Celestia… And she managed to find and make friends with some random run-of-the-mill person like me of all the billions of people in a totally different world, by complete accident… If I didn’t feel like the luckiest person/pony in existence right then, I don’t know WHO would…

“Yeah… what can I say? We work hard at what we do, and love doing it… Our Cutie Marks are reminders of that.”

“I understand the Cutie Mark thing. But you, your sister, and your wife are all so modest about talents… I honestly would've expected some amount of bragging. I’ve never experienced such respectable individuals of power in my world… you all have my utmost admiration. I gotta let you know that.”

“Well, thanks! Why don’t you tell me a bit more about yourself,” Armor suggested.

“Uh, sure… well, as you know, I’m from a different world than this one. In that world, the rules work WAY different than here. There’s no such things as Pegasi or Unicorns, we have much more advanced technology in place of magic, and generally… my world is much less harmonious than this one seems t' be. Other than those differences, our worlds are just about the same. Tha’ss the gist of it."

“Whoa… insane… I couldn’t imagine how I’d blend in if I went there… Say, how did Twiley handle herself there?”

“Oh, she was cool, calm, and collected most o’ the time! She kept a level head an’ showed such a strong interest in learnin’ about me an’ my world. Hell, she got us out of a huge jam we got caught in when I couldn’t do so myself when we took a bit of a field trip together. An’ on top o’ that, I made an awesome new friend in her. Man, I can tell ya one thing: she is FULL of surprises. Twilight sure is one amazing unicorn…” I said, looking at the ground as we continued journeying through the castle. So many thoughts about the lavender unicorn were racing through my head. Talking about Twilight suddenly made me feel warm inside... like I’d been wrapped in a blanket that was fresh out of a dryer. I wanted to crack a smile, but I resisted it for fear of her older brother’s reaction.

“You’re telling me! I’ve known her all her life, and even now, she still amazes me! I mean, you should’ve been there during my wedding! If it wasn’t for Twiley and her friends, Cadence and I would never have been married… Hay, I would’ve wound up marrying some parasitic imposter who feeds off of love like how a mosquito sucks blood. Her true form was as hideous as could be. The real love of my life would’ve rotted away and perished in some deserted underground mines without me even knowing… while Twiley, her friends, the Princesses, and everypony in Equestria would’ve been… I don’t even know, but it would’ve been absolutely horrible. Just thinking about those rotten Changelings makes me angry…” I noticed his horn flickering with magic as he stared at the ground with a furrowed brow.

“Yo, relax. At least I’ss over now, right?” He snapped out of his daydream and looked at me with a sense of remorse.

“Y-yeah… it’s just that I still owe Twiley an apology for how I treated her during preparation for the ceremony… When she and her friends came up here, she was the only one to notice right away that the Cadence I was about to marry wasn’t the real Cadence at all… or at the very least, she suspected that Cadence was evil… yet, time and time again, her warnings were ignored like she was crying “wolf” and disregarded as her just being jealous of another mare in my life. Not to mention I was getting these awful migraines from putting up a force field around Canterlot, which the impostor used to her advantage when she took the form of my wife and began placing a hypnotizing spell on me that blinded me from my sense of reason. Consequently, it made me become increasingly frustrated with Twiley’s attempts to expose Cadence as evil.  It got to the point where she got fed up and outright accused the imposter of being evil in front of everypony. The fake Cadence put on some waterworks, and just like that, everyone, including myself and Princess Celestia, abandoned poor little Twiley… I was so upset with her that I told her that she shouldn’t even show up to the wedding, even after I told her wanted her as my best mare. I nearly disowned my only little sister in my blind devotion to that disgusting Queen Chrysalis…  She must’ve been devastated at the sight of all those closest to her just callously turning their backs on her like that… I never looked back at my little sis or saw her again until she and the ACTUAL Cadence barged into the ceremony in the nick of time. Man, did I feel like a foal once we finally defeated Chrysalis and her Changeling army… Twiley let everything that happened become water under the bridge and so did everyone else… but the guilt eats at me to this day… I still think back and ask myself, ‘How could I accuse my own little sister of simply being jealous and spiteful when she was actually looking out for me like we’d done for each other countless times over the years?’ My anger at her was completely unjustified, and I haven’t found a way to properly apologize to her for it…” He seemed to be on the brink of shedding a tear as he squeezed his eyes shut. I couldn’t help but place a hoof on his shoulder.

“Yo… if Twi was able t’ get over that, I’m sure she’d want you to as well. The past is already said an’ done, but you can’t let it keep beatin’ you up like this. Learn from your mistakes, don’t kill yaself over ‘em. It makes you a better pony. An’ given that you was hypnotized by a fake Cadence into treatin’ Twi the way you did, your behavior doesn’t seem to be all your fault. I get that it ain’t easy t’ forget somethin’ as emotional as lashin’ out at a family member, but in the end, y’all still family. I know Twi knows that. Tha’ss why she chose to forgive you without needin’ an apology from you. You’re her family, an’ she loves you unconditionally. I mean, ask Spike. He knows.”

“Yeah,” Spike continued. “I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my time with Twilight… and yes, she’s gotten mad at me for some of the things I did… but in the end, she always finds a way to forgive me before I even get a chance to say ‘sorry.’ She loves me, Shining Armor. And I’m just her assistant. You’re her B.B.B.F.F., so you KNOW she loves you, too.” The white unicorn brightened up and smiled.

“You know what…? You guys are right,” he said, seeming relieved by the advice given to him by Spike and me. “I let my remorse blind me to the fact that Twiley and I are family… That doesn’t go to say I don’t feel like I should talk to her about it, though…”

“Tha’ss perfectly fine,” I assured. “Jus’ don’t let somethin’ like a disagreement tear the two o’ you apart or let your resultin’ guilty feelin’s tear you apart. I’m sure you been together too long t’ let that happen.”

“That we have… Do you have any siblings back in your world?”

“Yea, one. But she’s MUCH younger than I am. Still a chi— err, foal. Much too young to understand the stuff we’re talkin’ about.” I chuckled a little.

“I hope your relationship with her turns out similarly to Twiley’s and mine… y’know, minus the disagreements.” he said as we reached the end of the hallway and found ourselves back at the stairwell. Down at the bottom, we noticed Twilight and Cadence, casually conversing with one another and laughing. “Hey, girls!” Both unicorns turned their heads and put on gleeful smiles as they saw us.

“Honey!” Cadence called to Shining Armor. We quickly made our way down the stairs to regroup. The unicorn guard captain and his princess wife were quick to embrace one another as if they’d not seen each other in weeks. They kissed and hugged each other tightly for a prolonged amount of time. I let out a chuckle and averted my gaze, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable. To my surprise, Twilight wrapped her fore legs around my neck and pulled me close.

“Hi, Ty,” she happily greeted as she held me firmly. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I felt the purple unicorn even nuzzling me. But I digress.

“Uh, hey Twi! I um… missed you, too,” I said with uncertainty as I rubbed a hoof on her back.

“Hey, don’t forget about me!” Spike complained as he hopped off of my back.

“How could I forget my #1 assistant?” asked Twilight as she let go of me and hugged the little dragon.

“You got enough for me over there, Twiley?” Shining Armor joked. The lavender unicorn said nothing as she practically tackled her brother in a loving embrace. The two siblings hugged tightly for a bit, and before they separated, he lovingly rubbed his hoof on her head, frazzling her mane. She giggled like a little filly.

“You seem happier than usual…” I said, a little confused by her newly ecstatic mood. “What gives?”

“Oh, nothing…” she dreamily responded. “I’m just… suddenly in a really good mood,” she added as she looked at me with half-open eyes and a smile that would’ve made my heart melt, had it not been for the wave of awkwardness I was feeling.

“Alright then…?” I looked at Spike on my right, who looked back at me and shrugged in an equal amount of confusion as I. My eyes shifted up to Cadence, who stood there smiling at me like I’d just given her a present. “So… how’d you girls enjoy your alone time?”

“We didn’t do much…” Cadence answered, still smiling that same sweet smile at me that was honestly starting to weird me out.

“We just talked,” continued Twilight. “How’d you and Spike like your walk around the castle?”

“We ain’t get very far, but we definitely got along well,” I answered with a smile. “Spike’s awesome!”

“Yeah, Ty’s a pretty cool guy!” Spike complemented.

“Oh, and we ran into Shinin’ Armor here. I gotta tell ya, Twi; you got one real good brother here. Don’t let ‘im go for anything.”

“I wouldn’t DREAM of letting my B.B.B.F.F. go, no matter what!” Twi proudly informed. I looked at Shining Armor and saw him smiling wide as if Twilight had just given him the highest compliment imaginable.

“You don’t know how much that means to me, Twiley,” he said as he pulled her into another heartfelt hug. Suddenly, a *BURP* accompanied by a burst of green fire emitted from Spike. A second later, a scroll materialized in the air. Twilight broke her hug with her Big Brother Best Friend Forever, grabbed the scroll, opened it and read it:

My Most Faithful Student,

You may now visit me. I am in the throne room.

Princess Celestia

“Well, looks like this is finally it…” Twilight said. “The moment of truth is here… the moment you finally get to meet the most powerful pony in all the land, Ty.”

“As if I wasn’t nervous enough…” I joked.

“Don’t worry; she’s magnanimous and absolutely kindhearted. You’ll love her, I promise!” Twilight assured me with a smile as she placed a hoof on my back and kept it there. As much as I enjoyed Twilight’s company (and I REALLY enjoyed her company), I was confused as to why she was suddenly so gleeful and touchy-feely. I wondered if it had something to do with that talk she and Cadence had or the fact that she was now with her brother and sister-in-law for, from what I understand, the first time in a while. Nonetheless, I smiled back at her.

“You sure you guys are just friends?” Shining Armor jokingly asked. “You seem awfully close…” This prompted Twilight to realize that she still had her hoof on my back. She quickly removed it and let out a small, shy titter. I wasn’t quite as flustered as my lavender companion, but I was close. Shining Armor and Cadence shared a good laugh at our expense. Twi and I could only force awkward chortles.

“What was that about Celestia being magnets?” Spike asked in bewilderment. He succeeded in calming Twilight down with his question, since it prompted a subject change.

“Not magnets; magnanimous. You know… benevolent? Compassionate? Empathetic?” Spike stared blankly at her as if she were speaking in a completely different language. “Nice, Spike. She’s nice.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Well, let’s get going! We’ve waited long enough, don’tcha think?”

“You sure got that right…” I answered, now completely on-edge about meeting Princess Celestia. With that, Twi, Spike and I bid our farewells to Shining Armor and Princess Cadence as we trotted all the way up the extensive staircase. We came up to some HUGE, decorative double doors, manned by two more Pegasus guards.

“You may enter.” One of them simply stated as the doors opened, seemingly on their own. We took no time to hesitate as we walked into the room…

The Time of Reckoning...!

The Goddess of the Sun...!

The Goddess of the Sun…!

The sight I saw when we walked into that room took my breath away five times over. The throne room itself was able to do that at least twice. The very first thing I noticed was the stain-glass windows. Each of them seemed to show some kind of picture of a historic event. One showed a two winged unicorns, one white and one navy blue, beating a monster that looked exactly like the statue in the garden. Another one showed six VERY familiar smaller ponies beating a different version of the dark blue winged unicorn. The third showed the same six ponies beating the snake monster again. If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say that Twilight and her friends… were Equestria’s protectors… That thought threw me for so many loops that I thought I had a case of vertigo because of it. I forgot about my amazement at the rest of the extravagant throne room simply because of the windows.

“Those windows… the pictures on ‘em… A-are you…?” was all I could say to Twilight.

“Heh… yeah, that’s what I meant about my friends and I being the Elements of Harmony,” she modestly said. “We’ve saved Equestria from three great evils to this point.”

“…My Goodness…” I was completely astounded. I stood there in a daze before an unfamiliar voice that sounded even more regal than Cadence’s awoke me.

“Well, hello there!” said the voice in a friendly tone. I looked up and lost my breath another three times when I laid my eyes on the winged unicorn before me sitting on her throne. She was stunning! Her long, effervescent multicolored mane and tail flowing as if a gentle breeze was lifting it, her gold tiara and horseshoes, her alabaster body, equipped with a Cutie Mark of what seemed to be the sun… Everything I saw in this Princess struck me speechless as my jaw dropped. It almost dislocated when she got up and walked towards us. She was at least twice my size, her horn was at least three times the size of Twilight’s, and when she flared her wings to stretch them, each one of them seemed to be ten of a Pegasus’s wings put into one. “You must be the guest my most faithful student was telling me about.” She bowed to me, which shocked me even more. “I am Princess Celestia. Nice to meet you. What, may I ask, is your name, kind sir?” I froze in such a state of amazement that I just flat-out gawked at her.

“Um… Ty? You alright there?” I heard Spike ask. I said nothing. “Ty?”

“Ty!” shouted Twilight. I still said nothing. What woke me up was a hoof swiftly making its way across my face. “Snap out of it!”

“AH! Oh! Umm I-I’m sorry! I’m Ponder Memoir,” I shakily said, rubbing my cheek. “And yes, uh… I-I’m the guest Twilight brought h-here, Your Highness, Ms. Princess Celestia…”

“Simply ‘Celestia’ will do just fine,” she informed with a cute little laugh. “I see Twilight has told you of me?”

‘Y-yes… Please, forgive my nervousness… Meetin’ you an’ discoverin’ exactly HOW important Twilight is… it’s jus’ a lot t’ take in…”

“What do you mean by how ‘important’ I am?” Twilight asked.

“Well… other than what you told me before, I learned that you’re also Celestia’s niece-in-law, your brother’s the captain of the Royal Guard, your sister-in-law’s another princess, and you an’ your friends are Equestrian heroes… that’s what I mean…”

“Wow, you’ve learned a lot about me… yes, all of that is true… but one thing I didn’t realize myself… was that Princess Celestia is now my aunt!” she excitedly proclaimed. Celestia chuckled again.

“Hm, yes, that IS true, isn’t it?” the sun goddess rhetorically asked. “But that’s enough about us…” she continued in a more serious tone, standing back up. “What about you… Ty?”

“Oh! Right… I’m from a universe that is similar t’ this one in terms of how ponies interact with one another amongst other similarities, but at the same time, completely different. Like how there’s no such thing as Pegasi or Unicorns, my world is far beyond this one in terms of technological advances due t’ lack of the existence o’ magic, and that there is no clear answer as t’ the existence of a supreme overseer… I’ss also worthy of note that not everybody in my world is quite as friendly as most o’ the ponies here.”

“Oh, my… this world of yours sounds quite peculiar… but I feel that there is one more thing that you’re not telling me…”

“Really…? Oh! Twi has a notebook that ha—!”

“No, I know about the notebook… there’s something else you’re hiding…” she stared at me, studying me like some kind of animal. Her stare was unsettling to say the least. I didn’t want to tell her about me being human, for fear of her reaction. Her horn suddenly lit up with a golden aura as I froze in fear.

“Princess? What are you going to do to him??” Twilight asked, panicked by her mentor’s action.

“Do not worry my student. I simply wish to scan his anatomy…” she said as her horn cast a similar golden aura over me. I felt a barrage of tingling sensations all over me as Celestia highlighted me in her glow. She closed her eyes and focused for a few seconds before she took a deep breath and ended her spell. “I sense that there was a spell placed on you for you to maintain your current form,” she deduced to the collective shock of me, Twilight and Spike. She turned towards the purple unicorn. “Is there something you know about this?”

“Y-yes…” Twilight admitted. “You see, he’s not actually a pony like us… he’s what’s called a ‘human.’ He is part of the dominant species in his world, where ponies like us don’t exist. I transformed him into a pony just in case everypony who saw him in his human form would panic. I took precautionary measures mainly because I remembered how everypony treated Zecora when she first arrived in Ponyville…”

“I understand. Which reminds me… what was it about ‘Magic Intergalactic Travel’ you were talking about in your letter to me?”

“Oh yes! I wanted to document the spell I used, seeing as I have it memorized now, so that other unicorns strong enough to use it would be able to traverse to Ty’s world and interact with humans themselves.”

“I see… while that does seem like an interesting idea, please respect and understand that I cannot allow you to do that.” That shocked everyone again.

“What??” Twilight said, seeming to be hurt by Celestia’s rejection. “If I may ask, why?”

“It is too dangerous. We don’t know everything that goes on in Ty’s world. For all any of us know, somepony could bring in a human that would cause severe damage to the ponies here.” She raised an excellent point there.

“*sigh* Fair enough,” Twilight plainly said, seeming to be alright with not being able to document her findings.

“It also brings a burden on my heart to tell you that I cannot allow the information you’ve acquired about the alternate universe via the notebook to be distributed in any way. That being said, I will need you to give me the book.” I was coming back to reality as my amazement at the Princess and her castle was wearing off and being replaced with soul-crushing remorse as I looked at Twilight. She looked absolutely devastated. Her jaw was dropped as her eyes were wide and wavering. I felt horrible for her.

“Y-yes, Princess… I understand,” Twilight responded as she looked down, melancholy about her aspirations being torn apart by none other than her own mentor.

“Two more things…” Celestia said. “…it is with utmost sorrow… that I ask you to return Ty to his original form and then send him back to his world immediately after this meeting is over.” That was the kicker. Twilight gasped in pain as if someone had struck her across the face. I was upset by that order as well, but I couldn’t bear to see her in such agony, so I looked down in shame, clenching my teeth in anger. “I…” the Princess faltered there. “I… will also have to request that you never return to Ty’s world again after you take him back… In fact, I hereby forbid you to use or mention that spell again once the deed is done…” To say Twilight was upset about that would be a severe understatement. She broke down and began to weep right there. I was getting increasingly angry at Celestia’s outlandish requests. I found the courage to look back up at the distraught lavender unicorn. There were no signs of her previously good mood to be seen.

“T-Twilight…” was all I could choke out from my own sadness. She didn’t even look at me. She magically lifted the notebook out of her saddlebag. Her magic fizzled out from lack of focus as she dropped it in front of Celestia.

“Twilight… I know you’re upset about this, but I assure you… this is for the be—!” the Princess tried to inform.

“WHY!? Why are you banishing him!?” she screamed through her tears as she looked up at her aunt-in-law. Her outburst was beyond alarming for all of us. The despair in that unicorn’s face was heartbreaking.

“I’m not banishing him. I am simply taking precautionary measures,” Celestia answered calmly.

“Precautionary measures? What kinds of precautionary measures involve unjustly banishing someone from Equestria— no, this entire WORLD with no basis!?” the winged unicorn was hesitant to answer. “You even said it yourself that you don’t want him back here! I assure you, he hasn’t done anything wrong! He’s been the sweetest, kindest, most understanding pony in both our worlds to me! Yet here you are, telling me to send him back to his world and to never go back there myself! Worse, you’re even planning to destroy all of my notes…! I can’t just pretend this never happened! Why are you doing this to me?” Her words were getting to me… Yes, she was upset at the Princess for her orders, but…

“Twilight Sparkle, what has gotten into you?!” Celesia finally shot back in a scolding tone, appalled by Twilight’s wrathful outburst. “You have never spoken back to me with such disrespect in your life! Tell me, what is so important about him that you’re acting outside of yourself like this?”

“It’s because I…! I…” Twilight faltered on her words and froze. She then swiftly turned around and bolted out of the throne room, weeping openly along the way. I was fighting back my own sympathetic tears as I stared at the ground, furious. If I still had my hands, they’d be bleeding from their palms from how tightly I imagined myself clenching them into fists.

“Spike… go an’ comfort Twilight…” I calmly, yet shakily instructed the dragon, who was still standing there, appalled. “I’d… like to have a word with Celestia…”

“…O-on it,” Spike obliged as he ran out of the throne room after his grieving surrogate mother. I waited until he was out of earshot to finally convey my feelings to the Princess.

“Y’know… with all due respect… That was some real fucked up shit you jus’ pulled there, Princess…” I said, still trying to remain calm, although the waviness in my voice betrayed it. I couldn’t even look at her, so I stared back at the ground. I wanted to avoid such profanity in this world,  especially in front of the Goddess of the Sun but my emotions got the best of me here.

“I… I am not familiar with some of the terms you used, but I’ll assume they were not very friendly…” Celestia somberly said, to my surprise. It still did nothing to soothe my anger at her for what she did to Twilight.

“No… they weren’t… and for that, I hafta apologize. But why…? Why would you jus’ go an’ crush that girl’s hopes like that?” My tone became cold and contemptuous. “She wanted t’ make you proud… t’ expand her knowledge an’ everyone else’s… t’ go beyond what you assigned her t’ do… an’ you jus’ MERCILESSLY tore that away from her like—!”

“SILENCE!” Celestia shouted, fed up with my berating. I got quiet instantly, but the noise I heard after I quieted down shocked me… I heard Princess Celestia herself actually weeping. That was enough to coax me into looking up at the winged unicorn. She was looking at me like she’d just lost someone special to her. Her sharp magenta eyes had tears flowing freely from them, a look of regret evident on her face. “Do you think it didn’t hurt for me to break the heart of my most faithful student and niece? That I’d just tell her that she was disallowed from traveling to your universe again with no justifiable reasons? Believe me, Ty… I wouldn’t do this without a valid motive.”

“No… Goin’ by what Twilight said about you before we came in here, which is lookin’ REAL ironic right now… I don’t suppose a leader like yourself would be so cruel… but I haven’t heard a reason other than basically ‘inhabitants in my world could be dangerous…’ in which case, you’re right. My world is very unequal in terms o’ the various dispositions o’ the humans there… there are areas in it where everyone is welcomed with open arms no matter what… then there’s areas that have been ravaged by an’ riddled with things like disease, poverty, prejudice, and/or blatant, unjustified hatred. For that, I don’t blame you for shuttin’ Twi down on the M.I.T. thing… but what I don’t understand is why I’m bein’ punished. Why you want me to go home an’ never return. Or why Twi is unable to visit me again…”

“*sigh* When I was out in the far east to settle that trade dispute, I found out that it was started because someone from one of the countries had brought in a guest from the other country. That guest turned out to have ulterior motives in the form of planning to cause both countries to collapse in on themselves by tricking their leaders into shutting down trade routes with each other and making them go to war with each other. He figured that if he rounded up a fair enough amount of rebels and waited until both countries were low on resources due to lack of sufficient trading and dramatically increased deficit spending, he and his troops would stage a coup d’état and take over both countries… He would’ve gotten away with it, too, had he not made the fatal mistake of trusting a spy that I sent after I got word of him and his suspicious activities.”

“Tha’ss unfortunate an’ all, but what does that have t’ do with me or Twi?”

“My point is that Twilight could have seriously injured herself by going into an entirely unfamiliar world with no way to navigate. Or she could have jeopardized Equestria’s safety by bringing you here. You could have been just like that stallion, simply gaining the trust of an unsuspecting ally in order to carry out a sinister deed against this world.”

“So you’re accusin’ me o’ bein’ some kinda criminal?”

“No. What I’m saying is that, by allowing her to distribute this information, someone could wind up targeting her and tricking her into bringing them into your world and causing mass destruction there. Or, say if I allowed her to documented the spell along with the information you gave her; what’s to stop one malevolent individual from using it to bring an evil human from your world to do something harmful? You, however, have proven yourself trustworthy. I sense that you genuinely care for Twilight…. Maybe more so than you should, considering what she said about you… However, I must look out for the interests and safety of the population and the country before I look into the personal interests of those closest to me.” She raised such strong points. I found myself unable to argue against them because, although I believed her to be acting paranoid, she was in fact the leader and overseer of Equestria, and Twilight’s bringing a guest in from an unknown land could have severely impacted this world.

“I… I understand, Your Highness… You are completely right about everything… but why are you forcin’ me t’ go back so soon?”

“I can’t risk you giving away information that would cause uproar... Even by accident.”

“I… I see your point,” I disdainfully admitted before chuckling a little. “I’ss funny, too… because this reminds me of a quote I heard before… ‘It is impossible for a leader to be loving AND just, at the same time.’”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, if you were rulin’ because you loved everyone, you’d find that deliverin’ justice where i’ss needed would be unbelievably hard t’ do if not impossible, which would severely impact your decision-makin’ skills. However, if you were rulin’ for the sake of justice, you would find yourself unable t’ love anyone because the rules an’ necessary enforcement OF those rules wouldn’t allow it. I realize now that you’re kind of an exception t’ that rule. Sure, you love all the ponies in Equestria… I’ll guess ESPECIALLY Twilight. But even then, like you said, you do wha’ss best for the country as a whole before you look at the interests of one or a few… An’ for that, I can respect you… You look out for everyone, yet you still find time t’ cherish the population, especially those you’re close to… An’ though it will be hard for Twi an’ me… We can find a way t’ forgive you for your decisions because in the end… We know you know you’re makin’ the right ones…” I calmed all the way down and held up a hoof to the winged unicorn.

“Your words are wise, human… thank you. And please, give Twilight Sparkle my condolences,” Celestia said, now seemingly calm as she reached out a hoof to touch mine. I pulled my hoof away. “Is it not a hoof-shake you are requesting?”

“Exactly. Because I want a hug.” She looked at me with confusion. “Aw, come on. Surely, you ain’t too ‘just’ for a hug… I promise you I ain’t gonna bite.” She smiled and complied as she lowered her neck, allowing me to gently wrap my fore legs around her. She even returned the hug with one fore hoof. I’ll admit that I did it as a way to get a feel of that mane of hers… it was just too tempting to pass up! It felt softer than anything I’d ever touched before… like living teddy bears whose fur tickled and swayed in accordance to my embrace. It felt… magical. Celestia was also pleasantly warm like morning sunlight. She smelled like a mixture of exotic fruits mixed with a most pleasing fragrance of perfume… “Hey, can I ask you a favor before I go?” I asked as we separated.

“What might that be?”

“That… I get to say goodbye to Twilight’s friends before I change back t’ my human self… It’s rude t’ leave without a proper goodbye, y’know…?”

“Hmm… very well… so long as no one other than Twilight and Spike see you in your human form,” she gracefully permitted. I smiled and nodded in agreement before turning around and going to find and console Twilight.

“Thank you, Princess Celestia… An’ though we won’t ever see each other again, I will say that i’ss been an honor t’ meet you.”

“Likewise… Farewell… Tyshawn,” she gladly responded as I walked out the door. A second after the door closed behind me, I froze as I had an epiphany.

“How the hell did she know my name??”

AAAAAAND the Winner Is...!

Counsel and Confession...

Counsel and Confession…

I trotted down to the bottom floor of the foyer, looking for Twilight and Spike. As I walked toward the center of the entrance room, I heard quiet sniffling noises coming from the other side of the front door. Instantly, I knew I found who I was looking for and opened the door to see Twilight, sitting on her haunches on the top doorstep with her back facing towards me. Spike was sitting on her right and rubbing her back. Both of them turned to look at me with expressions of grief as I exited the castle.

“Hey, y’all…” I said, unsure of how to approach the saddened unicorn.

“Hey…” was all Twilight said. Her eyes were still glassy with fresh tears. Her face was drenched in them. Evidently, so was her right fore leg.

“How’d your word with Celestia go?” Spike asked.

“I’ll… tell y’all on the way back.” I answered. “I’ss kind of a long story…”

“Are you ready to depart?” asked a Pegasus guard, already hooked up to a carriage alongside another guard.

“Y-yes…” Spike answered. We subsequently made our way to the chariot, and soon, we were on our way back to Ponyville. The ride was eerily quiet at first, seeing as I figured Twi was too upset to speak, and Spike was just as unsure of how to go about comforting her as I was. I was feeling the familiar chill and decrease in air from being so high up, but given that I’d already gotten my first experience, coupled with the fact that there was a more important matter to focus on, I managed to ignore it. It took me a short while of thinking of a conversation opener, but eventually, I decided to break the silence.

“…Princess Celestia at least allowed me t’ say goodbye t’ the girls before I left…”

“That’s good…” Twilight sadly answered, looking at the floor of the chariot.

“We talked to each other and we came upon an agreement. She says she’s jus’ lookin’ out for the best interests of Equestria…”

“As a Princess should do, I suppose…”

“She… told me t’ tell you she’s sorry…”

“I’m sure she is…” Nothing I was saying was making the unicorn budge. I was at a loss for what to say next, so I went on a whim and scooted close to her and hugged her. At first, she didn’t respond, but she slowly found it in herself to return the hug, albeit halfheartedly.

“Please tell me you ain’t lettin’ this hurt you THAT badly… I mean, it hurts a lot for me, too… I don’t like this any more than you do… I hate it… But le’ss not forget that I woulda had t’ leave anyw—!”

“I didn’t want you to leave so soon…” she gloomily began. “I already acknowledged that I’d have to take you back eventually… but… what I wasn’t prepared for was that… *sniffle* by order of Princess Celestia, I’m not allowed to see you or go back to your world anymore after I take you back…” She was right about that.

“I… I know,” I answered with a hint of sadness. “But… we’ll always have the memories of our times together, at the very least. At least Princess Celestia didn’t say we had t’ get our memories o’ the last few days wiped… right?”

“That’s true…” she said as she put more effort into the hug. “But… there’s something… I was going to tell you before you left… I just thought I’d have more time to confirm it for myself before I did, though…”

“What’s up?” I asked with my curiosity piqued.

“Well… I… I think I…” she was hesitating, losing her words.

“You… what?” I asked again, wondering what was keeping her from answering me.

“I… kind of… L… L… *sigh* Ohh, why is this so hard…?” She went silent and started to feel warmer in my fore legs. I tilted my head slightly to get a look at her face to see her cheeks turning a bright pink. Whatever she wanted to tell me, it must’ve been big.

“Twi… what is it you’re tryna—!” I was cut off as she turned to me and pressed her lips against mine, which froze me in complete surprise. Shortly after, she pulled her head away. I got the message right away, but I was dumbfounded. I looked at her, but she was looking down at the floor of the chariot once again; not out of sadness, but out of embarrassment. “Umm… I-is that… your way of tellin’ me… that you like me…?” I asked, still taken aback by her unexpectedly brash action as I impulsively licked my lips.

“Wh-what if it is…?” she sheepishly asked.

“Then… then I don’t think I heard you very well…” I slyly retorted with a smirk. “Mind repeatin’ that?” She giggled and looked back at me with that same dreamy smile she gave me before we went to see Celestia. “Y’know, this is gonna make it a LOT harder t’ say goodbye…”

“I know… but I had to get that off of my chest… Cadence told me that I should’ve waited to make sure my feelings were genuine, but since there’s no time left to wait… Better now than never, right?” My eyes widened in realization.

“So… that IS what you an’ Cadence wanted t’ be alone for… I shoulda figured… Even Spike saw it before I did… This is kinda ironic, too…”

“What is?”

“All the time we spent tryin’ t’ either ignore or deny that silly rumor about us bein’ together that way… Yet look where we are now…” We chuckled a little.

“True… I just wish Princess Celestia would’ve made it clearer as to why she made her decisions on you leaving…”

“She explained it to me after you left… she said she had to, basically because was scared that what happened while she was away could happen on a whole different scale had someone evil got ahold o’ the knowledge you acquired o’ my world.” Twilight’s eyes widened in shock.

“What happened…?”

“Turns out that trade dispute started cuz somebody from one country invited somebody else from the other country over. The guest turned out t’ be usin’ the first person as a way t’ sneak into that country an’ start messin’ everything up for both of ‘em. Celestia managed t’ stop ‘im when she got ‘im t’ spill all his secrets out to a spy she appointed. The guy was plannin’ t’ cause a war that started off with the trade dispute so he an’ a group o’ rebels would be able t’ take over. She told me that she didn’t want that t’ happen if somepony here learned your spell and got some of your info on my world with those kinds of intentions, so her only reasonable choice was t’ keep you from usin’ it or lettin’ anybody else know anything…”

“I see…” Twilight replied as she thought. “But… what about you?”

“As for me, she didn’t want me t’ accidentally say somethin’ that would wind up givin’ either of us away in some form or another… that pretty much sums up why we ain’t allowed t’ do this anymore… she’s jus’ lookin’ out for everypony’s best interests. That don’t go t’ say she ain’t feel bad about it, though… after you stormed out, she started cryin’ herself…”

“Oh… well now I feel horrible…” Twilight said, now remorseful. “I lost my temper and yelled at my mentor because of a crush, and it turns out she was just worried about everypony’s safety… she must hate me…” New tears began to stream from her eyes. “How could I be so selfish…? *sniffle* I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to see me again…”

“She doesn’t hate you,” I assured. “There ain’t no way she could hate you. I’m sure she understands your feelin’s, but unfortunately, they had t’ take a back seat t’ her duties as ruler of Equestria. If anything, she prolly thinks YOU hate HER an’ don’t wanna see her again… But i’ss jus’ like I told your brother; you’re family. No arguments as small as that is gonna change that. She might be the Goddess of the Sun and the leader of Equestria an’ all, but remember… she’s also your aunt and your teacher.” I smiled at the unicorn as we held each other firmly in our fore legs.

“Thank you for that…” Twi said as she looked back at me and gave me a tearful smile.

In the rich orange light of the radiant, clear-skied sunset we were flying in, Twilight looked even more beautiful than ever. Her mane flowing freely in the unreasonably frigid wind as the waning sunlight hit her in just the way that made her large, gorgeous purple tear-stained eyes glimmer as she smiled warmly at me. In that moment, all my worries about me being human and from a different universe temporarily washed away as I smiled back at her. It still hurt that we’d never be able to share our true feelings like this again, but I was more focused on the little lavender unicorn I was holding than anything. After we stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds as we hugged, we closed our eyes, moved in and locked our lips together once again. She tasted faintly of sweetened lemon, which I guess had something to do with the last thing she ate or drank while I wasn’t around. I also tasted the salt from her tears. I lost myself in the euphoria of it...

“*AHEM!*” Spike interrupted, clearly feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“*pop* Oops! Heh, sorry, Spike,” Twilight apologized, flustered and withdrawing from the embrace.

“Yea, my bad…” I added as I scratched my head in embarrassment. While Twilight was blushingly staring down yet again, I looked at Spike. He turned to look back at me, smiled and winked so as to convey the message, “I told you so.” I laughed, but I was still a bit resentful of him at that moment.

“You little mood-killer…”

The rest of the ride was awkwardly silent, but I couldn’t help but frequently glance at the object of my affections. I tried to avert my gaze, so as not to be tempted to flirt with Twilight and make Spike feel more unsettled than he already was. Twilight hardly moved from her position of discomfort, but I did catch her staring back at me a couple times, where she would swiftly look back at the floor of the chariot. She was adorable. Spike must’ve noticed our little game, because every time I looked at him, he seemed more and more annoyed as he stared off into space with a furrowed brow, away from Twi and I. Eventually, Twilight’s library came into view as we approached.

“Finally! I was getting tired of sitting here with you two flirting with each other…” Spike complained. I laughed at the dragon’s agitation.

“Don’t worry, Spike,” I began. “I promise that we won’t do nothin’ else in front-a you...” He looked at me and smiled. “’Cept this,” I quickly added as I kissed Twilight on the cheek, causing her to giggle and blush. I gave him a purposefully goofy smile. He shot daggers at me with his eyes before turning away. I was wondering if he felt… jealous, in a way. Nonetheless, we finally landed in front of Twilight’s library where, surprisingly, all of her friends were waiting for us.

“And you said you and Miss Sparkle were just friends…” I heard one of the guards say as we climbed out of the chariot. I cringed at that remark, seeing as I wasn’t expecting the same guards who took us to Canterlot to be the ones to bring us back to Ponyville, much less the ones to witness everything that went on during the way here… or were they the same guards…? They all looked alike… Damn…

Sick Day...

Final Farewells...

Final Farewells…

“Hey!” “Howdy!” “Good Evening!” “Hello…” “Hiya, guys!” the five mares greeted in unison.

“What up, y’all.” “Hi, girls.” “Hey.” We also greeted in unison.

“How was your trip to Canterlot?” Rarity asked.

“It was… okay…” Twilight answered, showing a bit of disappointment in her voice.

“Yea… it ain’t turn out like we expected…” I added.

“’Okay?’ Why’s it just ‘okay’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked with concern.

“And what were you expecting?” Rainbow Dash interjected.

“Well I can tell ya one thing,” I began. “A lotta the ponies there are stuck up jerks… Other than that, the trip was amazin’ for me.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Rainbow replied with a short laugh.

“The trip was fun for me, too! I even got to see Shining Armor and Cadence! It’s just that…” the purple unicorn hesitated on her words as she looked to the ground.

“What’s wrong, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.

“We saw Princess Celestia and…”

“…she said that she wants me t’ leave… immediately.” I finished, shocking everyone but Twilight and Spike. “And once I’m gone… Twilight is forbidden to use the spell that brought me here ever again. For safety reasons…”

“Well that’s awfully mean of her!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like something Princess Celestia would do at all!” Pinkie continued. “Why would she just tell you to go back to your world without being able to come back?”

“Did you do anything to upset her?” Rarity asked.

“No… it wasn’t me or Twilight that did it. She had a fearful premonition put into her by a situation she was dealin’ with in some far-off countries in the east…”

“What in tarnation happened?” asked Applejack.

“She said somethin’ about a trade disagreement goin’ on between two countries over there. Apparently, the issue was caused by some stallion who was brought in from one country to the other. Turns out he was a traitor to both countries because he instigated the fight between ‘em in hopes of takin’ ‘em both over once they wore each other out.”

“Oh my… that just sounds dreadful,” began Fluttershy. “I couldn’t imagine what kind of horrible pony would do something so cruel… But what does that have to do with you and Twilight?”

“That situation put the fear in her. She said that some similar thing could happen should information about how t’ use Twilight’s spell be released, except on intergalactic levels because o’ shady individuals in either of our worlds possibly havin’ the intention of causin’ destruction in the other world— or both worlds. She doesn’t want Twilight t’ become a victim or a target, so that’s why she banned Twilight’s use of the spell once I’m gone. As for why I have to leave so abruptly, she basically doesn’t trust me to keep it quiet without accidentally lettin’ somethin’ slip. That, I didn’t fully agree with her on, but she made her points clear.”

“That’s horrible!” Rarity exclaimed. “While I do understand that Princess Celestia’s decisions are for the safety of Equestria, how could she just tear you two apart? Does she not know that you’re a couple?” I chortled nervously at her question.

“I uh… guess you could say that…” I answered as I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck.

“Yeah, but I sure know,” Spike mockingly said as he shot glares at me and Twilight. I smiled apologetically at the dragon. He then started to smile mischievously at us, which made my smile drop into a wide-eyed begging stare.

“Don’t you do it, you little—!”

“On the way back, these two were all over each other! They were hugging nonstop, and they even ki— MMPH!” Spike was suddenly interrupted when Twilight hastily shoved her hoof into his mouth, scowling at him.

“Don’t feel so great, does it?” I jokingly asked the dragon. Unfortunately, it was too late as the endearingly quizzical looks on the other five mares’ faces showed that the damage had already been done.

“Whoa whoa whoa! Did he say what I think he was about to say?” Rainbow asked, grinning ear to ear with teary eyes.

“You and Twilight finally…?” Fluttershy began to ask, but trailed off.

“*sigh*… yes.” I admitted with defeat as I felt a wave of embarrassment take me over. I shyly looked to the ground, away from everyone to hide my face.

“D’aww, how wonderful!” Rarity proclaimed yet again. “And what better place to share such a special, beautiful moment than on a chariot in a romantic sunset? Twilight, I’m beginning to grow envious of you…”

“That’s absotively spectaculastic!” Pinkie Pie shouted. I had NO idea what she said. “It must’ve been so magical and romantic and giving you that funny feeling in your stomach like when you get hungry but you know you’re not hungry because you ate a humungous banana split twenty minutes ago, so you realize it’s your stomach being super-duper happy because it had the yummiest banana split ever and… *GAAAAASP* you see and kiss your special somepony, and that tickly feeling in your stomach becomes fifty kajillion times more tickly!” She ended her… monologue (?) with a trademark giggle.

“Uh… what?” I asked in complete confusion.

“She means that it must’ve felt really wonderful when you kissed Twilight,” answered Fluttershy. “And that you two must’ve had butterflies in your stomachs…”

“Oh…”

“BAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!” Rainbow erupted into a fit of laughter. “Oh man, the looks on your faces are priceless!” she added as she lay on her back cracking up, one fore leg clutched across her stomach as the other pointed at me and Twilight. I looked at the purple unicorn beside me to see her with her eyes squinted shut and her fore hoof over her face like she’d just seen something scary. Her cheeks were a bright red. Spike was stifling laughs of his own, clutching his mouth with both claws. “This is just too rich! Twilight with a special somepony!”

“Rainbow Dash… that isn’t very nice,” Fluttershy informed.

“Aw, come on, Fluttershy!” Rainbow shot back as she climbed back to her hooves, still laughing. “You can’t seriously be telling me you don’t find the idea of the egghead with a colt-friend funny!?”

“Well actually… No. I don’t see what’s funny about it… I think it’s very sweet.” The yellow Pegasus was ignored as the blue one continued cracking up.

“Ignorin’ the rudeness of Rainbow Dash here, I think it’s mighty nice-a y’all t’ be honest with each other about yer feelin’s…” Applejack said with a warm smile. “Hay, I’ll even bet Rainbow’s actin’ like this cuz she’s jealous,” she added as she winked at us. Rainbow stopped laughing immediately and angrily glared at the farm pony.

“Am not!” She shouted at the orange farm pony. “Why would I be jealous!? I can easily get a special somepony of my own! It’s just that uh… I don’t have time is all…!” Everyone got a good laugh out of Rainbow’s sudden apprehension.

“Now who’re you tryin’ ta convince here, sugarcube? Us or yerself?”

“…Aw, whatever!” Rainbow dismissed as she pouted. “Can we talk about something else now?”

“Sure, Dashie!” Pinkie responded. “So Twilight… how was it? Was it special or romantic or giving you the hungry butterfly feeling?”

“Not exactly what I had in mind, Pinkie…”

“I um… think we’re getting a bit off-topic now…” Twilight answered uncertainly as she regained her composure, dodging Pinkie’s intrusive question. “I do have to take Ty back home pretty soon… now, actually.”

“Oh, yeah…” Pinkie sadly said. “What a bummer. We don’t even get to throw you a going-home party or anything!”

“Or give ya one-a my special baked apple pies t’ take back with ya,” Applejack continued.

“Or show you who the Wonderbolts are. Hay, I would’ve even shown you a Sonic Rainboom so you could brag to your friends in your world about seeing it,” Rainbow added.

“Ahh, i’ss fine…” I assured, although I was sorely disappointed about what the three mares told me I’d be missing out on. “There’s always… oh… right…” I’d almost forgotten that there wouldn’t be a next time. I dejectedly stared at the ground at that realization. A sudden blur of pink rushed over to me and pulled me into a tight, yet mercifully warm embrace.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t give you anything to remember us by…” Pinkie said, surprisingly not in a hyperactive tone, but in a more... calm and soothing one. “...but look on the bright side… we still got to meet and make friends with each other, and we had some really fun times together. And the best part is that we don’t have to forget about those times… we can just reflect on them, and smile…” Her words opened my eyes greatly, especially because they were unpredictably wise coming from someone I’d assumed was nuts.

“Wow… thanks, Pinkie!” I said, rubbing a hoof on her back before we separated. “You’re right. We did have some pretty good ti— AGH!” she’d shoved another treat into my mouth. This time, it was a cupcake.

“Don’t forget to get your daily dose of sweets… y’know, for your Pica,” she advised with a heartfelt smile. I smiled back as I chewed and swallowed the delicious cupcake.

“I won’t… I promise.”

“Pinkie Promise?”

“I… don’t know what you mean…” She happily obliged in teaching me the Pinkie Promise, going through the motions of a silly little ritual while reciting the same phrase that Rainbow Dash had recited when I first met her.

“Now don’t you break that promise… because if you do, I’ll know… and I’ll getcha, no matter how far away you are!” she playfully warned, but followed it with a stern look that actually startled me. The seemingly hostile stare soon turned into an inviting warm smile.

“You have my word, Pinkie… So, anyone else want a goodbye hug?” The next pony to take me up on the offer was Fluttershy. She wrapped me almost as tightly as Pinkie did, but she felt softer.

“Thank you… for letting me know to be more comfortable with myself…” the yellow Pegasus said.

“Aw, you’re welcome. But I didn’t teach you anything you didn’t already know,” I said back as I rubbed her silky smooth mane.

“Yes… but it’s still nice to talk to another pony that’s had the same problem before… even if he isn’t from this world.”

“Good point…” I agreed as we separated. “It was definitely a great experience talkin’ t’ you, Fluttershy. Shame that I can’t learn more about you. I jus’ know there’s more t’ you…” At that, she responded with a cute little smile. As Fluttershy stepped back, Applejack came forward. I cringed in fear at the orange mare, still remembering the last time she “hugged” me. She chuckled at my nervousness.

“S’alright, sugarcube. I’ll be gentle this time…” I believed her, calming down enough to be able to hug her. However, she still wound up squeezing me tighter than the other girls did.

“Ahh-ow! Heh heh, I thought you said you’d be gentle…”

“I am. Guess I don’t know my own strength sometimes… But yeah, it was nice havin’ ya over fer breakfast yesterday.”

“Oh, it was my honor. Honestly, your cookin’ made me appreciate apples on a whole new level. I never tasted such delicious apple-related things before…”

“Aw, shucks… If only you’d-a got a taste-a the things I could make with some Zap Apples…” she said as we broke the hug. Before I could ask what a Zap Apple was, I was practically tackled by a white unicorn mare who seemed to be crying.

“Of all the worst things that could happen! This is The! Worst! Possible! Thing!” she melodramatically shouted through her tears. I laughed a little.

“As bad as this might be, and it’s VERY bad for me, I don’t think it’s the WORST thing t’ happen t’ anyone…”

“Oh, p-please forgive me…” she began, now (barely) under control of her emotions. “I’m just not able to handle such heart wrenching moments like this very well… I mean, Twilight finds herself a special somepony, and before you’re able to truly begin your relationship, you find yourselves being permanently separated from one another by a cruel act of fate! It doesn’t help that you’re also being torn away from all of us as well, never to return!” She then buried her head into my neck and sobbed uncontrollably for a prolonged amount of time. She seemed to be taking this much harder than anyone here, and I failed to understand why. Nevertheless, she was right. So I simply rubbed her back as she let her sadness out all over me like I was some sort of sopping wet safety blanket. I gave a puzzled look to everypony else, but even they couldn’t give me a clear answer for Rarity’s soap-opera behavior. Spike, however, was the only one to seem to have an idea.

“Hey, Rarity? I’m *sniffle* feeling a little sad, too… Can I have a hug?” Spike asked with what sounded like a feigned sense of despondency.

“Ohh, Spikey-Wikey!” the white unicorn practically screamed as she let go of me and quickly grabbed hold of the purple dragon to use as a walking handkerchief. I was actually relieved that he pulled that trick. I was sure Rarity would’ve never let me go if he didn’t. In any case, I looked towards a certain blue Pegasus with spiky hair of every color on the color spectrum. The instant we locked eyes, she turned away and scratched her head.

“Listen, I uh… don’t do hugs…” she admitted. “At least, not with stallions…”

“What?” I skeptically asked. “I’ss not like I’m gonna bite you or anything. I’ss jus’ a simple li’l embrace. Jus’ like if you was huggin’ anyone else here.”

“Yeah, I know… but… It’s kind of weird for me… Is it okay of we just… I dunno, touch hooves or something?” That suggestion hurt me a little, but I was intrigued that she didn’t want to hug me just because I was a male pony. It gave me a new series of thoughts about the Pegasus. Was she simply afraid of males? Or was she not very open about displaying her emotions around males other than Spike? Or maybe she didn’t want to display her feelings to a stallion in front of all her female friends? Or… she could quite possibly be a… no, it could be just her tomboyish personality that makes her not want to act all emotional and sappy… I didn’t suppose I’d ever figure it out. I wish I’d had more time to talk to her about it.

“Fine, come here,” I requested with a fore hoof held out towards her. Rainbow smirked as she approached me and touched her hoof with mine. She looked around with that smirk on her face, not noticing the one creeping across my own.

“You see?” she arrogantly began. “Now this guy knows how to say goodbye in a way that isn’t sa— WHOA!” I interrupted her as I grabbed hold of her hoof and yanked her towards me and locked her into a hug. “Hey! You jerk! You tricked me! Lemme go!” she objected.

“Not until you hug me back,” I calmly demanded. “You shouldn’t be afraid t’ be huggin’ anybody,” I added as I softly nuzzled her in an attempt to get her to warm up. She sure was quite the fighter, though. She kicked and squirmed and flapped her wings vehemently to escape my grasp.

“I said let me GO!!” she screamed as she haphazardly swiped a hoof across my face. I was stunned as I let her go to place a hoof on the cheek she slapped, gawking at her in shock. Everyone else collectively gasped.

“Rainbow! How could you??” Twilight berated.

“All he wanted was a hug… why would you respond by doing something so violent?” Rarity asked, seeming to have finally recovered from her tantrum.

“I… I didn’t mean it! It was just a kneejerk reaction, I swear!” The cyan Pegasus tried to defend herself, to no avail as she got only scolding glares from her friends. Her ears fell to her head as she looked to the ground in shame.

“Hey, that was my fault,” I admitted. “I shoulda respected your wishes when you said you ain’t want a hug. Heh, I kinda deserved that slap. I’m sorry…” I reached out a hoof to the Pegasus to give her a proper hoof-touch. She looked up at me with such an uncharacteristic expression of guilt that I almost wasn’t sure I was talking to the same Rainbow Dash.

“…if there’s one thing you taught me, Ty, it’s how to own up to your mistakes…” she began, starting to smile sweetly. “But this time, it was my mistake, so I’M sorry.” She apologized as she trotted towards me. But, instead of touching hooves with me, she wrapped her fore legs around my neck, which surprised everyone. Despite being caught off-guard yet again, I welcomed her embrace as I rubbed her back. Her wings felt so different from the rest of her body. Instead of fur, there were actual feathers on them. Her embrace wasn’t quite as strong as everyone else’s (given that she likely only hugged me out of guilt), but I swore I could hear her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. It was actually kind of cute that a pony as headstrong and confident as Rainbow Dash would actually be nervous about something as simple as giving a stallion a hug.

“You’re adorable…” I muttered to her. “I hear your heart poundin’ a mile a minute…”

“If you tell ANYpony, I’ll find a way to your world and personally make you regret it…” she whispered back. I let out a soft chuckle.

“Deal,” I agreed as we broke the hug. “You got quite a swing there, by the way. I’mma be feelin’ that one for a few days…” Rainbow giggled.

“Yeah, again, sorry about that…”

“No apologies necessary. Think of it as a way t’ get me back for the first time we met.” We both shared another laugh. “Now get over here, Spike.” The dragon obliged my walking up to me, holding out a claw. I put a hoof on his head and smiled at him. He smiled back. “We had a lot t’ talk about while we was in the castle. Thanks for the convo, man,” I finished as I took the hoof off of his head and placed it in his claw.

“Oh, the pleasure was mine. It was nice being able to get some advice from another guy for once, considering most of my other friends are girls…” Everyone shared a chuckle at Spike’s comment.

“You ready, Ty?” Twilight asked.

“*sigh*…no. But we can’t delay the inevitable much longer, so le’ss go…” I sadly answered as I walked toward the purple unicorn.

“I’ll be back, girls…” Twilight’s voice wavered a bit as she bid her farewell.

“I’ss been real, i’ss been fun, but most importantly… I’ss been real fun.” I added, choking back tears of my own. Twilight’s horn lit up in that familiar magenta glow as she powered up the spell she’d soon never be able to use again once she returned from her trip to my world.

“Farewell!” “See ya!” “Bye!” “Goodbye!” “Catch ya on the flipside!” “Peace!” the five mares and the dragon saw us off as they waved. I waved at them in return before I heard a *POOF* and from there, all of my senses were suddenly filled with emptiness in the form of being dematerialized as every part of me was suddenly moving at an incredible speed once again…

*POOF*

“Well, that was fast…” I murmured, but I looked around and realized that we weren’t at my house; we were in Twilight’s room with the lights off. “Wait a minute… I’m pretty sure Celestia wanted you t’ take me back to MY home, Twi…” I quipped.

“I know that… but there’s one thing I’ve got to do before we go,” she said as she removed her saddlebags and set them on the floor.

“And what might that be?”

“This…” she answered as she wrapped her hooves around my neck, pulled me in close, and locked her lips with mine once again. I was shocked at her sneak attack, but I soon found myself participating actively. Given that she didn’t have much experience, we kept it simply at pressing our lips together time and time again as we hugged. We kept it up for what felt like forever before I opted to part with her for air.

“Wow… what a lustful li’l trick you pulled there… you sure do seem t’ like kissin’, huh?” I asked with a smile as we broke the embrace.

“Yeah…” she blushingly admitted. “I don’t know what it is, but… it gives me such a wonderful feeling… something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before…”

“You mean like that hungry-but-not-hungry butterfly feelin’ Pinkie was talkin’ about?”

“Sort of… I can’t explain it, but whatever it is, I REALLY like it. It’s phenomenal… This is definitely something I’m going to spend some time studying…”

“Ha. And I assume you brought us in here t’ avoid the awkwardness of kissin’ in front o’ your friends?”

“You’re smarter than I thought,” she quipped. “But I think we’ve wasted enough time. Let’s go… for real this time.”

“Alright… but I have one question...”

“What?”

“Forgive me if this sounds kinda dumb, but… what if you, say… cast the spell while we…”

“We’d probably get stuck that way for all I know,” she joked. “Then we’d have a HUGE problem on our hooves.” We both shared a short laugh.

“Yea, prob’ly…”

“Yeah…” she said as silence overtook the atmosphere. I found myself staring at Twilight intensely as she stared passionately back at me. Eventually, she shook her head in an attempt to regain focus. “Okay, we REALLY need to stop horsing around. Let’s go.”

“Gotcha... I see what you did there, by the way…” I said, snapping out of my trance as she powered up her horn once again and with a *POOF*, we were going back to my world… for real, this time…

Not-Quite-Home Alone...

Home Sweet Universe!

Home Sweet Universe!

*POOF*

After an extensive intergalactic teleportation trip, we were back in my world; my room, to be exact.

“Whew! Wow, does it feel good t’ be home again…” I said as I looked around the area as though I hadn’t seen it in months.

“That’s great and all, but…” Twilight began breathlessly. “Don’t get too comfortable yet; I still have to turn you back into your human form…”

“Aww, shit…”

“Oh… right…” I meekly mumbled as I began trembling in fear of the intense pain I was going to have to endure throughout the process. Her horn lit up as she prepared to cast the reverse-transformation spell on me. I moved so I was in front of the unicorn, stood straight, and closed my eyes in fright. “Oh, man, this is gonna—!” I was interrupted as I was shot with a beam of magic and instantly transformed back into my human form on all fours. My hands, my feet, everything! All back to normal in the blink of an eye. I even grew back to my original size and my clothes and hair were back to the way they were before I got pony-fied. I turned to check if I still had a tail, but I saw that even that was gone. I was completely shocked, to say the least as I sat. “…Hurt…? Wait, what? But… how…?”

“For some reason according to the spell book I was reading, reverse transformation works MUCH faster than the initial process.”

“But why didn’t turnin' back hu—AAH!” I said as I moved to sit down, only to feel sharp stabs of pain in my chest. “What the…? I don’t get it. Is this a side effect of the spell?” I asked as I poked various spots on my chest for more specific areas of discomfort. I found them the second I poked the sides of my torso, and cringed in agony.

“That’s odd… I thought I’d fixed up any potential injuries you’d have once you were transformed…”

“Now that I think of it…” I began with a strained voice. “…this is more likely Pinkie Pie an’ Applejack’s faults… Remember when Spike kicked me in my sides in the Canterlot library and I said that it still hurt?”

“Hmm… Oh, yeah! But other than that, you seemed perfectly alright… I don’t understand why you’d be in so much pain now.”

“I don’t get it either… Maybe the way pain is received by a pony is different than the way humans receive pain, even though I was a pony when I sustained these injuries… I can only assume that turnin’ back t’ human gave my body its original tolerance for pain. How long did it take Rainbow t’ recover from that broken wing again?”

“About a week or so. After that, she was back to flying around like she’d never broken it.”

“That doesn’t make sense… You ever been injured before?”

“Oh, plenty of times! I’ve had flowerpots, anvils, and pianos dropped on me, I’ve fallen down stairs, had doors slammed on me, and I’ve even been stung by a swarm of angry bees! That was all in one day just because of me denying the validity of Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense, too. In just that one day, I’d estimate that I’d had every bone in my body broken except my neck… I’ve been injured a lot more than that, though… What?” I just looked at her like she was absolutely crazy. My mouth and eyes were wide open as I tried to fathom how anyone could survive all of that.

“Um… how are you even ALIVE, much less WALKING after all that???”

“I don’t have a clue myself. But those injuries healed in a matter of hours at the most, and I didn’t even have to use my magic. The way in which injuries like those heal never seems to be consistent. Either it takes a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days, no matter how severe the injury may be. How long would it take a human to recover from those types of injuries?”

“Well le’ss see… Havin’ a flowerpot dropped on you: Maybe a week at the most if it hits you in the head. An anvil or a piano? Instant death. Not such a pretty picture either…. Maybe a few months if someone is lucky enough to survive it. Even then, there ain’t a guarantee of a full recovery. Doors bein’ slammed on someone? Well, I’m pretty sure you know first-hand how well a human takes a door t’ the face…” she laughed. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d-a prolly recovered from that in a few days, but the cut and the sprained wrist would’ve lingered around longer… but bein’ stung by a swarm o’ bees? If you ain’t allergic, then the stings could prolly go away in like a couple weeks. If you are allergic… I’m pretty sure you’d be as good as dead. Recovery time in this world is VERY much consistent, too.”

“Wow, humans sure seem fragile here…” she assumed.

“Generally, yea. I mean, jus’ look at my hand for example,” I said as I showed the unicorn the palm of my right hand to reveal a small four-pointed star-shaped scar near the upper left corner on the top hand line.

“Wh… what is that?” she asked as she looked and placed a hoof on my hand to feel it.

“A scar, my dear lavender unicorn. I had it since I was little, an’ ALL I did was accidentally get my hand vertically cut open. If my memory serves to recall, it took about a month t’ heal, I was able t’ see inside my hand for two weeks, an’ I was left with this pretty little decoration ever since it healed. It hasn’t changed at all since it got t’ this point. I even got a few more on my arm. All of ‘em jus’ from cuts and sores, too. I’m shocked t’ see that you don’t have a scratch on you, considerin’ what YOU been through…”

“Now that you mention it… Even I don’t understand how scars are left on ponies. Some ponies I’ve seen have permanent scars, but it’s usually very rare. Hay, I’d even expected myself or even Rainbow Dash or Applejack to earn a few of them by now.”

“Hm. Lucky you—OOH!” I winced and clutched my side as I tried to move up to my bed. I painstakingly, yet hastily moved up onto my bed and lay flat on my back. “Oh, right… the Pinkie-Jack wounds…”

“Pinkie-Jack?” Twilight inquired with a giggle.

“Hah, yeah… they both had a hand— err, hoof in this,” I said as I lifted my shirt partway up and felt my sides again to find the areas around my upper abdomen somewhat bloated and extremely sensitive to the point where simply trying to sit up was nearly impossible. It was like I spent an entire day doing over nine thousand crunches. “…but I think… Applejack takes the cake for most brutal Heimlich maneuver. If there was a next time, I think I’d nominate Fluttershy to help me if I was chokin’…” I joked again. It helped a little that I was able to get a couple of giggles out of my unicorn friend.

“Yeah, you keep joking. Maybe I’ll sneak Applejack over here one day after I tell her what you said…” she jested back.

“Hahahaha—Ow, it hurts t’ laugh…”

“Here, let me fix you up,” Twilight offered as she climbed onto the bed next to me and lit up her horn to cast her healing spell on me. The fact that there were no lights on and that it was night time made Twilight’s glow that much more fascinating as she used her spell. My torso ignited into the most wonderful purplish-pink aura I’d ever seen as I felt soft, warm tingles throughout my body. The spell was working like a charm as I felt the pains in my sides melt away into oblivion. When Twilight was done, she let out an exhale and lay her head on my belly.

“Thanks. You okay there?”

“Yeah, just… a little tired is all. I don’t think I’ll be able to transport myself back home right now…” she took on a look of worry. “I just hope Princess Celestia won’t be angry with me…”

“Hey, that reminds me… she said I had to go back as soon as possible… but she DIDN’T say YOU had to…” I slyly informed.

“Nice loophole, Ty, but I don’t thi—!”

“Come on… what’s a little extra time together gonna hurt?”

“Ty, I—!”

“Pleeeease? Besides, I still owe you a baked treat. Plus, I’m sure you’ve been missin’ this…” I said as I ran a hand down from the top of her head all the way down her back. She let out a satisfied moan of pleasure.

“That’s a cheap trick…” she tiredly said, getting comfortable as she climbed up onto my chest. “…but fine, I’ll stay JUST a bit longer.”

“Hooray…!” I whispered as I began to rub the lavender mare down.

“Hmm, you’re just lucky I like and missed these rub-downs…”

“You sure it ain’t my charmin’ personality?”

“…I’ll just leave that to your speculation for right now... I’m exhausted...”

“Fine… sweet dreams, Twilight Sparkle…”

“Good night, Tyshawn…” she replied as she leaned forward to kiss me good night before laying her head down. I’d have thought that I being human again would’ve made her become hesitant about doing such a thing. But then I just guessed she was tired and maybe let herself get lost in her own enjoyment of the massage. Soon, I heard Twilight snoring lightly as she went limp on me, prompting me to stop rubbing her. I began slowly, but surely losing myself to intense waves of lethargy as I struggled to keep my eyelids open.

Even so, I began to mull over Princess Celestia’s choices as to what Twilight and I were allowed to do or what not to do. I replayed my conversation with the Sun Goddess in my head over and over again; her fearful premonition about my world based on an event in her own, why she was so hasty as to deliver such a harsh judgment upon me even though she said herself that she sensed no evil intent in me, given that she knew next to nothing about this world, and even why she didn’t trust me to keep quiet as long as I remained a pony in Equestria…

Was it possible that even a deity like her could actually let her lack of knowledge get the better of her? That she was… afraid of me because I was from somewhere she’d never been in all her years, to my knowledge? Why was it that that ONE scenario scared her so much that she pinned me as some sort of suspect? The more I pondered it, the more it seemed like… like she was hiding some important details from me. Why didn’t I ask her to elaborate? Why did I let her intimidate me into agreeing with her? How could I let Twilight down like that? The possibilities of Princess Celestia’s motives combined with my feelings of regret for not trying harder to argue my case overwhelmed my already-fatigued and addled mind as I drifted off to sleep. I was at least thankful that Twi managed to tire herself out so she could stay with me a bit longer. At first, it was because I was able to spend at least one more day with her, but after a little alone time with my thoughts, I realized that we needed to talk… badly…

Proving Grounds!

An Urgent Discussion...

An Urgent Discussion…

I awoke quite early, as I noticed the sun had only just begun to rise as the darkness in my room was only slightly less prominent. Twilight was still soundly asleep on top of me. So as not to disturb her, I very carefully slid her off of my chest and onto the bed. She looked so peaceful in her resting position that I couldn’t help but rub a hand on her back, and kiss her on the forehead. Once I was out of bed, I grabbed a new set of clothes (for the first time in days) and went to clean myself up. Throughout the entire process, I considered my late-night questions about Princess Celestia that formed in my head before I’d gone to sleep. I thought about ways to begin a conversation with the unicorn about her mentor. I wasn’t sure exactly how she’d react or respond to it, but I did know that I wanted— no, NEEDED to talk to her. When I came back, I found Twilight stirring from her sleep with a stretch and a yawn.

“Mmm, good morning, Ty…” she sleepily, yet happily greeted.

“Good morning, Twi…”

“What’s the gameplan for our last day together?” That question made me want to start the discussion right there, but I felt that I’d have to be patient.

“About that…” I began. “Get washed up first. Then I’ll fill you in, okay?”

“Sure,” she complied as she leapt off of the bed and trotted into the bathroom. In that time, I thought I’d surprise her with a batch of pancakes. So I hurried downstairs as swiftly as I could, gathered the ingredients I needed, and got started cooking. Eventually, I’d finished, making six large, hot, fluffy pancakes for each of us. I placed some maple syrup, butter, and orange juice on the round dining room table. Remembering that Twi was a vegetarian, I sliced a green apple into sections and lined them up around her plate in lieu of any meat product. Afterwards, I hurried and set up some appropriate silverware and glasses neatly next to both of our plates.

“Ty? Are you down there?” I heard the unicorn call.

“Yea. Come down an’ eat!” I called back. She trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen looking like new. Her face lit up as she took in the strong, fresh aroma of the meal she was soon to eat. She saw me sitting down in the kitchen waiting for her and smiled with glee.

“Pancakes? For me?”

“Of course! This might not count as bakin’, but I figured I’d make somethin’ special for a special friend.” I winked at her.

“Aw, thanks, Ty! You really are sweet. Ooh, apples too?” she asked as she took her seat near me. “You went all out for this, huh?”

“Ah, this ain’t take too long. But that don’t mean I ain’t put a good deal of effort into it t’ make it good for ya. Le’ss dig in!” the unicorn nodded in agreement as we began to eat our breakfast. It was quite a sight to see watching her telekinetically lift the orange juice and pour some into the glass while at the same time manipulating the butter knife to cut a slice of butter onto her pancakes as she simultaneously poured some syrup on them. Nonetheless, there was an important matter to discuss, and I would not allow any distractions to steer me away from it. “So Twi… how ya feelin’ about this bein’ our last day together?”

“I… I don’t know how to feel about it, frankly. I mean, I’m glad we’re able to do this, but at the same time, I still feel… like I’m disobeying Princess Celestia in a way… But I don’t want to say goodbye to you forever…” she solemnly replied as she magically sliced the pancake into cubes and levitated the fork into one of the pieces, then into her mouth. “Mmm, theshe are derichus!” she commended with a mouthful of pancake.

“Thank you. But like I said before, she never told you t’ go back as soon as you brought me back. Technically, you ain’t disobey anything. And I HATE the idea of saying goodbye t’ you, too… but while we’re on the topic of Princess Celestia… what do you think of her choices?”

“Honestly, I don’t think they’re very fair. I don’t understand why she would do something like permanently disable you from coming back to Equestria when you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Same here… I been thinkin’, though… what exactly do you think that scenario had t' do with us?”

“I’m not sure… I was too upset to figure out a reason myself. You talked to her. What reason did she give you?”

“Jus’ that she was afraid o’ what might happen if she allowed knowledge o’ your spell t’ be released… but I got t’ thinkin’ last night after you went t’ sleep an’ wondered what she was so afraid of… I feel like such an idiot right now because I didn’t call her out on it when I had the chance…”

“Well why didn’t you ask her to explain it further?” Twilight asked with concern.

“I… I let my fear for your safety and the fact that she’s the Goddess of the Sun get in the way o’ my judgment. I allowed her status t’ overpower my thought process… I doubted that I was gonna win an argument against a goddess/princess, so I choked and allowed myself to lose… I’m sorry.”

“Understandable… But like I told you, I can handle myself just fine. You don’t have to worry about me so much. If anything, I should worry about you. You’re more prone to accident than I am!” she remarked, to my comfort and amusement. “Ty, I’m going to tell you something that I don’t even want you BREATHING to anypony else…” that statement intrigued me.

“What is it?”

“Pinkie Promise me that you won’t tell anyone…”

“Aw come on, Tw—!” I froze as I looked at her. She wore a look of absolute seriousness. “Fine…” I agreed, rolling my eyes. “Cross my heart and hope t’ fly, stick a cupcake in my eye— OW! Dammit!” I accidentally wound up poking myself in the eye.

“Hm… close enough.” She giggled. “I remember the first time I made a Pinkie Promise… I did the same thing… Anyway, Princess Celestia may be the Sun Goddess, AND she may have lived MUCH longer than anypony in our entire world, but… she doesn’t know everything.”

“Really??” I asked in shock, still rubbing my now-irritated eye. “I thought she was supposed t’ know everything since she’s a deity… Like how she knew my name an’ called me by it as I left t’ go find you…”

“Interesting… That was most likely a mind-reading spell. She probably cast it while she was using the magic-scan spell to figure out that you weren’t actually a pony just to mess with you.”

“I see… so she’s more of a demigoddess than an actual deity?”

“Yes… she’s the most powerful pony in our world by far, and she’s one of only three winged unicorns currently in existence there. But she’s also mortal just like us. It’s just that she ages much more slowly than a normal pony would. Her position of power was decided when she was born. She never told me very much about her past, but she did at least allow me to learn that much about her. She’s lived for well over one thousand years and has overseen generation after generation of pony-kind, which allowed her knowledge and wisdom to expand exponentially over the years… much more than anypony, myself included, could ever hope to gain in a lifetime. However, she’s still learning new things just like everypony else. Seeing as she’s co-ruler of Equestria alongside her sister Luna AND she’s responsible for raising the sun every day, which ties up her schedule to no conceivable end, why do you think she has me studying the magic of friendship instead of doing it herself?” Twilight’s brief overview of the Princess opened my eyes wide.

“I… I see… now I feel more idiotic than ever…”

“Don’t. You respected her views and her status over yours.”

“Yes, but… she seemed real shaken up by that situation she dealt with in those eastern countries… I still don’t get why she felt that it related so strongly t' us…”

“I’m… not quite so sure myself, either…” the unicorn concurred as she finished the last of her pancakes.

“Y’know, the more I thought about my li’l talk with Celestia last night… the more I kept feelin’ like she coulda been hidin’ somethin’… It annoys me greatly that I didn’t dig into her when I had the chance… now I’ll never be able to… an’ worse… I won’t be able t’ see you anymore because o’ my cowardice…”

“Ty… don’t feel so bad about it. You didn’t know what to expect of Princess Celestia then… and you were more concerned about my safety and the potential dangers to Equestria the Princess mentioned than about… your feelings…”

“…and that’s why I feel like such a friggin’ fool. I didn’t take into account how you woulda felt if you’d-a stayed in the room t’ give your opinion. The Princess an’ I played a game o’ Poker an’ I MIGHT'VE had the winnin’ hand… but I folded under pressure like a foolish coward...” Twilight only managed to sigh at my guilt as we went silent for a little bit.

“…Tell ya what; What if we go back to Princess Celestia and see if we can find a reason for her decision? We might be able to get her to change her mind about it. Although she wouldn’t be too happy about me disobeying an order of hers, we have a legitimate case to argue.  That sound good?”

“That sounds amazing! But… I think I’m gonna hafta stay here…”

“What?? Why??” the unicorn asked in utter disbelief.

“Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna go back. I jus’ gotta deal with some issues I’m sure have arisen because o’ my two days o’ goin’ AWOL. As much as I HATE to say it… you’ll have to go talk t’ her without me. Even though I REALLY wanna go back an’ correct my own mistake of agreein’ with her actions… at this time, I can’t. I’m sure I got LOTSA ‘splainin’ t’ do t’ some people here…That an’ I’m pretty sure if I went with you, that would only screw up our chances of persuadin’ her, seein’ as, like you said,  she’d likely be angry about you bringin’ me back after she specifically told you not to.”

“You’re absolutely right… I understand. Don’t worry, Ty! I won’t let you down!”

“Thanks, Twi… are you sure you can change her mind or get any more info outta her than I did?”

“I’m her most faithful student, Tyshawn. I KNOW I can. She knows she can trust me. And besides… I’d hate to have to study that new butterfly feeling without my only suitable test subject…” she cleverly added as she batted her eyes at me. I smirked in amusement.

“My my, aren’t we cheeky?” I sarcastically asked. “But… ain’t you weirded out at all that I’m a different species than you?”

“I had a lot of time to think about that… Ever since I started to… like you… after we got away from those other humans.”

“Wow… you had those feelin’s for that long?”

“Y-yes… When you told me you cared too much about me to let anything bad happen to me while I was here, even though we’d only known each other for a day. That made me feel so… so…”

“Special?”

“Yeah. That awoke something inside me... I thought the feeling would just blow over as soon the next day came along, but spending more time with you made it increasingly hard to fight it... You grew on me. I admired how you stood up for me when Rainbow Dash got mad at you, but took some of her frustration out on me… I also like how you were able to get along with all of my best friends, as well as my brother and my sister-in-law so easily. Going to Canterlot made me realize that I like you. That chat we had about special someponies sealed it for me. I still didn’t know what to do about it, so I asked Cadence for advice. If it wasn't for the issue with Princess Celestia, I likely would've tried keeping it secret until I felt I was ready. Long story short, I feel… comfortable around you, to put it bluntly. I also like your sense of humor. Even though you’re human, I still find myself attracted to you. I guess it’s kind of like Spike with Rarity, now that I think of it…” she blushed. “How embarrassing… All the times I’ve told him that he should get over his crush on Rarity and find a special dragon for himself… now look where I am…” I laughed.

“Ha! How ironic. But hey, he didn't seem t' mind when you kissed me the first time... well, not that much anyway. Heh, then again, you didn't exactly get to chat with him about it. Other than that, maybe there’s a chance for him.”

“Maybe, depending on how Rarity feels about interspecies relationships. I mean, for all she or anyone in my world other than Spike or Celestia knows, you’re a pony.”

“Yea, true… As for me, well… nobody even knows about you bein’ here, except those three weirdos... Good thing they don't know where I live... but still, I guarantee that we’d be looked down upon unless you transformed yourself into a human like how you made me a pony.”

“That’s true, too… Our worlds aren’t so different in that aspect. Mind if I ask you when you started to like me…?”

“Well, I’d hafta say when we was talkin’ t’ Fluttershy an’ you shared your story. I couldn’t believe a girl as cute an’ smart as you are coulda been so lonely… Even with all the love an’ affection you got from Armor, Cadence, an’ even Celestia an’ Spike when you was little… you still wound up puttin’ your studies on magic as the top priority… An’ even with the friends you made since you got sent t’ Ponyville, you still seemed… like you wanted someone to be more than a friend, but not quite a family member of any sort… Someone especially close. But your fear of such a pony— or person in my case— deterrin’ you from your studies kept you from doin’ so. I admire your determination to please your teacher, as well as strivin’ to better yourself for the sake of everyone, but I also felt bad that you were lettin’ it get in the way o’ your social life. Still, the last few days I spent with you have been absolutely wonderful, Twilight. You’re an awesome mare an' spendin’ time with you in Equestria as a pony brought me t' be more attracted t’ you than I realized…”

She didn’t say anything back; just simply stared at me with an endearing grin on her face. I cracked a smile back at her, to which she responded by practically leaping off of her chair and onto my lap to plant a huge sloppy, syrupy kiss on me. As messy as it was, I didn’t pull away from it. I actually enjoyed her untidy embrace.

“Hey, you mind warnin’ me before you decide t’ put your syrupy lips on me?” I teased.

“Heh heh, sorry…” she shyly apologized, still sitting on my lap and wiping the syrup off of her mouth with a magically-lifted napkin.

“You’re jus’ lucky I like you that much,” I said as I leaned in to give her a peck on the lips after she cleaned herself. “But before we get distracted, there’s still the issue of how t’ deal with Princess Celestia.”

“Oh, right! Okay, so what do we have in terms of her reasons?”

“She used that one scenario as a reason t’ ban us without givin’ a very good explanantion for why other than ‘for the safety of Equestria,’ which was kind of a substitute for ‘I’m afraid of what to expect of the inhabitants of an alternate universe.’ However, she told us herself that she didn’t sense any evil in me. Yet, she still banned me anyway for fear o' me leakin' any secret information out an’ banned your use of the intergalactic teleportation spell once you went back. I'm actually surprised she didn't wipe my memory right there... then again, I prolly would've freaked out from my sudden lack of knowledge of where I was or who I'd been captured by... or why I was suddenly a horse. That wouldn't-a been pretty at all...”

“You got that right... Okay…” Twilight simply answered as she went silent in thought. “Alright, I have a few counterarguments right off the bat against your banishment and my discontinued use of the spell. However, I think I’ll have to investigate her motives in relation to this incident and why it plays such a huge factor in her choices. We know the crisis in the East caused her apprehension, but I’m sure that, if there are any, the real reasons for her fears will come out if I dig into the details of the situation. From there, I think I’ll be able to persuade her. Alright, I think I’m ready…” she said with an air of determination as she hopped off of my lap and onto the floor.

“You sure you got everything you need?” I asked as I gathered up the dishes and the breakfast supplies.

“I’m almost certain. But… I’ve never challenged Princess Celestia’s authority like this before… I… I don’t know if I’ll be able to follow through with it by myself. I wish you could come with me.”

“So do I… but I have my obligations here, and I need to get them settled before I take another trip to Equestria… that is, IF I’m able t’ take another trip to Equestria…”

“You WILL be able to come to Equestria again. You can count on me!”

“Thanks, Twi… I actually can’t believe you’re doin' this for me… I hope you succeed where I failed. I know you’ll have a better chance than I did, seein’ as you know her better than I do.”

“I’m doing it for both of us. I’m usually behind Princess Celestia’s decisions 100%, but this is one I feel like I HAVE to contest. It’s unfortunate that you couldn’t do it when you were there, but that’s okay; it’s probably better for us if she heard it from me, anyway. I refuse to disappoint you, Ty,” she replied as her horn lit up.

“Leavin’ now?” I asked in surprise.

“Yeah… I don’t want to, but… I feel like it’d be better to carry this out while the thoughts are still fresh in my mind. I’d love to stay and hang out with you, but—!”

“I understand. Before you go, though... Would you like a kiss for good luck?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Actually… I’d love that right now…” she said, her horn’s glow dying down. I smiled as I set the dishes in the sink nearby and set the supplies on the counter before I knelt down. Twilight stood up on her hind legs, wrapped her fore legs around me, and pressed her lips to mine. Surprisingly, it didn't feel so unusual... After a few seconds, each of us reluctantly pulled away as her horn began to light up once more.

“Good luck, Twilight,” I saw her off with a wave.

“Goodbye… for now, Ty.” With that, she vanished with a *POOF*. Already, I felt a welling emptiness growing in me, as this was the first time in what felt like forever that I was without her. But I knew she wouldn’t be gone for too long… I hoped.

“Godspeed, Twilight Sparkle… Godspeed…”

Broken Promise, Fixed Arrangements!

A New Mission...

A New Mission…

NOTE: Alternating Narratives Begin Here, Starting With Twilight Sparkle...

I made the trip back to Equestria safely, but I knew I wasn’t here to enjoy the day. I had an objective to complete, and I had to complete it immediately; for my sake, for Celestia’s sake, and most importantly… for Ty’s sake. I arrived back in my room at the Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville, where I saw Spike was sleeping peacefully in his basket. It was unfortunate for him because I urgently needed him to send a letter to Celestia requesting another visit.

“Spike… Spiiiiike…” I gently called to him as I tapped his back. He groaned and grumbled as he turned away from me in his comfort. I really didn’t want to bother him, but I REALLY needed him. So I took drastic measures in waking him by whispering to him that there was a huge pile of rubies, emeralds, and sapphires waiting for him. He popped up almost instantly, wide awake.

“Jewels!? Where??” My #1 assistant popped up with newfound vigor as he looked around frantically for the false jewelry pile.

“Good morning, Spike.”

“Twilight? You’re back. Where are those jewels?” asked Spike with a yawn, wiping the sleepies out of his emerald-green eyes.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Spike, but um… I kind of… lied about that.”

“Ohh, why?” he whined in disappointment.

“I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestia requesting another appointment. This is extremely important.”

“Well why didn’t you just say so? I would’ve gotten up right away to help you…”

“Really, Spike?” I asked, a bit skeptical.

“Well… y’know, if you had some jewels. Or if Rarity was here.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” I said as I laughed.

“So, what’s so important about this letter?”

“Well… I need to have a little talk with the Princess… about her choices regarding Ty and I…”

“Oh. Speaking of Ty, that reminds me: What was that you were always telling me about finding someone of my own species to fall in love with?” I instantly felt hot with embarrassment. I should’ve known this was coming… “Because you and Ty seemed to be REALLY close…”

“Spike, can this wa—?”

“It’s pretty ironic, don’tcha think?” He chortled. “The very pony who advised me to get over my crush on a pony because I’m a dragon winds up getting one of her own on an alien.”

“He’s not an alien, he’s a human,” I defended.

“Either way, he’s not a pony. Yet, you like him. Tell me, Twi; how does hyp… hypo… hippopotamus…”

“Hypocrisy.”

“Yeah, that. How does THAT feel, hmm?” my little dragon inquired with a cute, smug little grin on his face.

“Listen, I don’t have time to be badgered about this right now, okay? I need you to take a letter this instant.”

“I dunno… Maybe if you give me a day off from chores, I’ll consider it.” Spike chose the perfectly wrong time to start getting cute with me.

“Excuse me? And if I refuse?”

“Then certain someponies are going to be informed about a purple unicorn’s feelings for an alien…” I gasped in such disbelief at his underhanded tactic that I might’ve been able to swallow him whole.

“He’s NOT an alien, he’s human! And… are you… blackmailing me!?”

“Blackmail is SUCH an ugly word… I’d prefer ‘negotiating…’”

“Spike, I’ve had just about enough of this,” I raised my voice as my patience for my assistant’s game was dwindling. “Will you write the letter or not!?”

“Okay, calm down! Jeez, I was just kidding…” he unhappily obliged as he fetched a quill and some paper.

“Thank you. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Okay. Dear Princess Celestia. It is with utmost respect and understanding of your plentifully busy schedule that I request another meeting with you. I strongly feel that I must talk with you as soon as you are available. Your most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Finished,” Spike said as he wrapped the letter into a scroll and ignited it to send it off.

“Thank you for being so compliant, Spike. For that, I’ll hear you out on your feelings for Rarity if you’d like.”

“Thanks but no thanks, Twilight. I actually have a date with her later on today.” He took me by surprise there.

“…Seriously??”

“Yeah. Right after you left to take Ty home, she couldn’t stop crying about how your oh-so precious relationship with him was ruined before it even began. I gave her another hug to try and comfort her and asked her if she’d like to spend the day with me to cheer her up. We have a reservation at the Ponyville café this afternoon,” he informed me with an elated smile.

“That’s great! I hope it all works out for you, then.” I was sincerely happy for my wonderful little dragon, but a small part of me still worried for him. While I was fairly confident that Rarity would understand his feelings despite him being a dragon, I was also certain that she’d likely be forced to decline any requests he made in terms of starting a relationship together. He’s not much that much younger than Rarity or myself, seeing as he was born when we were but fillies, but dragons are known to grow up at a much slower rate than ponies do unless they begin to instinctually exhibit greedy behavior. In that case, dragons will grow to full size in a matter of hours, which comes accompanied by an exponential increase of their greed. Seeing as Spike has been able to resist his avaricious urges in favor of his life with ponies, he’ll probably have some trouble trying to court Rarity simply because of his physical appearance. Nonetheless, an awkward silence passed over Spike and I as we waited for Princess Celestia’s response.

“So… how are things?” Spike asked as we sat in silence.

“They’re… good. Could be better, but you know…”

“Great…” we both went silent again as we fidgeted around, looking for things to talk about.

“…How do you think your date with Rari—!” *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“Oh, that must be her now!” Spike said with a newfound sense of excitement as he rushed downstairs to get the door. I followed suit and joined him down in the library, where I saw him open the door to let in a familiar white unicorn mare.

“Good morning, Spikey-Wikey!” Rarity thoughtfully greeted. “Oh, Twilight! I see you’ve returned. Good morning, dear!”

“Good morning Rarity.” “Good morning, Rarity…” Spike and I greeted back, although he sounded more… excited, for lack of a better term.

“I’m terribly sorry for dropping in so early, but I seem to have made a mistake in the scheduling of our date at the Ponyville café. It appears our reservation was set to be in a half hour instead of in three hours. I was wondering if that was okay with you, Spike.”

“Any time’s good for me, so long as it means spending time with you,” answered the seemingly awestruck dragon.

“Oh, dear Spike. Such a gentledragon…”

"I just need to freshen up a bit. Hang on." with that, he was on his way upstairs to clean himself up.

“Spike, wait!” I called. “I—!”

“I’m sure he’ll be able to finish his chores later, Twilight,” interrupted my generous friend. “Why not give him the morning off? I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

“Yes, but I—!”

“Pleeeeease, Twilight?” Spike begged, giving me a look that made him seem like a lost puppy. I glanced at Rarity to see her making the same face, only she was poking her bottom lip out. It was two to one, and I couldn’t bear to hurt either of my friends all because I was waiting for a letter that would usually come when I least expected it. It didn’t help that they were giving me those unbelievably cute pouty stares, either…

“*sigh* fine…” I reluctantly permitted.

“YES!!” shouted a now-ecstatic Spike, running the rest of the way upstairs for a quick wash.

“Thank you, Twilight!” Rarity said as she cantered over to give me a hug, which I half-heartedly returned out of disappointment. “I assure you, he will be perfectly safe with me. Come, Spikey. If we hurry now, we may be able to make it in time.”

“Gotcha. Right behind ya!” called Spike as he hurried back down the stairs after he was done with his business.

“Oh, and you have my condolences for what happened to Ty, Twilight! I’m sure things will look up for you soon!”

“Can you please hurry ba—!?” I didn’t even get to finish my request as the two were out the door in an instant. I was instantly angry at myself for not standing my ground. But, Spike did kind of deserve a break, and it isn’t very often that he gets to spend time with his crush that didn’t have to do with him helping her around the boutique. Then again, I REALLY needed him here with me in case Princess Celestia sent a response. And I needed one A.S.A.P. so I could get my chance to argue my case.

“Ohh…! Dammit!” *GASP* “…Ty, you and your mouth…” I worriedly muttered to myself as I decided to spend the alone time I’d now had to formulate and solidify my arguments.

Meanwhile, back in Human land…

“Okay, where’s my phone…?” I asked myself as I went back up the stairs and into my room. I saw it flashing on and off underneath my bed. I picked it up to see that the battery was low, so I plugged it into the charger before checking for any updates.

“Le’ss see here… twelve missed calls, five text messages, and two voicemails… I missed quite a lot here…” I mumbled as I began to read the texts. Most of them were simple “hellos” while the others were stupid “Forward this to all your friends if you don’t want a random little zombie girl with a chainsaw to hack you into pieces at 12:57 AM at the 46th second” messages. I moved on to see who’d called and saw that I’d missed calls from my mother, a couple friends, and my job.

I was beginning to get a bit worried before I checked the voicemails. One of them was simply the messenger hanging up, but the other one was a detailed description of what happens to employees who decide to pull “no-call, no-shows,” which is basically what happens if a person simply decides not to show up to work without warning. In any case, I now had a legitimate reason to regret going to Equestria for two days. Lucky me that the first day I’d spent there was my last off day for the week. Turns out I would’ve been fired on the spot, but seeing as I’d had perfect attendance up until this point, the higher-ups decided to be lenient and dock my next paycheck by that day.

“*sigh* crap… There goes $60 for that new game I was hopin’ t’ get… Still better than gettin’ my ass fired, I guess. I suppose I’d better make up some kinda lie t’ get through the day faster… ah, whatever, I’mma jus’ tell ‘em I got a stomach virus or somethin’…” I glanced at the time to see that it read 7:07 AM. I realized I needed to be at work in the city before 8:00, so, with a burst of adrenaline and a disheveled fit of profanity that would shock even a construction worker, I hurriedly prepared to go to work.

Rejoining Twilight in Equestria…

I already had my arguments planned out, so I spent some time (I’d estimate a couple of hours) checking them, rechecking them, then rechecking them another seventeen times over before I felt satisfied with the information I had. After that, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself until Spike got back. I sat and pondered as I scoured the plethora of bookshelves in the library. I’d read all of these books before, but one of them caught my eye in an instant. I cast a telekinesis spell on it and brought it closer to examine its title.

“Whimsical Osculation: A Beginner’s Guide… I don't remember reading this one...” I was at first, confused about how I’d let such a book escape my usually-meticulous watch. Confusion soon found itself turning into curiosity as I opened the book and skimmed its contents. “Mm-hmm… Mm-hmm… Oh… OH… Wow, you can do that…? Oh, my… *GASP* Wow…” I lay on the floor on my back, my eyes widened in not so much shock as they were in intrigue at all the different… techniques that were available to use. I was feeling that "butterfly" sensation in my stomach again by the time I'd finished reading through the advice guide. I set the book down and began to let my mind reflect on all the different methods I’d just learned… If only Ty were here…

“NO! I can’t let myself be distracted! I have to focus!” I snapped myself out of my sudden trance and brought myself back to the issue at hoof; my discussion with Princess Celestia. “Please please PLEEEEEASE hurry up and come back, Spike…” My moments of solitude were interrupted by a knock at the door. I sprang up with joy as I trotted over to answer…

“Uh… Hey, Twilight,” my guest greeted with an apparrent sense of self-consciousness, to my complete surprise...

Friendship Letters and a New Beginning... (Epilogue)

Minor Setbacks and Distractions!

Minor Setbacks and Distractions!

Beginning with Ty...

So far, I’d already managed to get chewed out by my boss for my absence and lose a day’s worth of pay. What a bright first day back on Earth this was turning out to be!  Already, I found myself missing my favorite little unicorn. However, my faith in her was strong, and I hoped for the best as I shifted the focus of my thoughts to my job, so as not to worry about Twilight too much…

Meanwhile, in Ponyville…

“Rainbow Dash! Hey, how’s it going?” I greeted in pleasant surprise. I was a little disappointed that it was her instead of Spike at my door, but I was also concerned as she stood there looking at the ground with one of her fore hooves scratching her multicolored mane.

“It’s… great. I don’t have much work to do today, so I decided I’d… just pop in for a surprise visit to my best friend,” she replied as I let her in, sounding suspiciously unsure of herself.

“…Is there something wrong? You seem upset.”

“No! Nothing at all!” she frantically answered. Now, I was getting doubtful of her. She had to have some reason to come here so suddenly without anypony else, and I was going to find out.

“Alright then…? Are you looking for a new copy of Daring Do? Because the newest one came out about two weeks ago, but I’m pretty sure I already lent it to you.”

“No…”

“Is there something you need to talk about?”

“Kind of…” whatever was bothering her must’ve really been severe if it had her acting more withdrawn than Fluttershy.

“Well… what is it?”

“I… um… I uh…” she stumbled over her words as her eyes darted around the library. Eventually, her gaze turned to the book I’d accidentally left on the floor behind me. “Hey, what’s that?” now it was MY turn to be embarrassed…

“Oh! Nothing! I was just… doing some studying… y’know, boring ol’ egghead stuff,” I hastily answered as I quickly willed the book back into its rightful place. Unfortunately, Dash saw right through my sudden sense of discomfort as she trotted past me to get a better glimpse.

“Whimsical Osculation…? What’s that book about? And why are you so embarrassed about it?”

“It’s um… a book about the wonders of correctly identifying configurations in various constellations in stars during the night that are formed like… like musical instruments!” I grinned sheepishly at her, secretly hoping I’d bored her with my explanation. She stared at me with a deadpan expression that already told me she wasn’t buying it.

“Y’know, you’re almost as bad a liar as Applejack,” she told me as she grabbed the book from its resting place and read a few pages in it. I felt my face become hotter than sweet Celestia’s sun as my cyan Pegasus friend looked back up at me, snickering. “R-really, Twi? A kissing book??” before I could defend myself, she burst into a fit of laughter.

“*sigh* Yes,” I admitted with defeat. “But it was purely for educational purposes, I promise! Enough about that, though. What brings you here?” her laughter stopped more immediately than it began as she threw herself back into her shell.

“Oh, right. Well… y’see… I kinda… need advice on something…”

“Yeeees?” I encouraged, my interest piqued.

STOP! Human time…!

“I heard you telling the boss about a stomach virus, but I’m not buying that. You told me yourself you haven’t had a stomach virus in years. What REALLY happened to you?” my nosey coworker asked.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. All that matters now is that I’m here,” I answered curtly.

“He was prolly with some girl yesterday,” another coworker quipped solely to antagonize me. “Wha’ss her name? She cute?”

“I told y’all, don’t worry ‘bout it,” I demanded, now getting a little agitated. Well, more than I already was.

“What’re you so afraid of that you can’t tell us who you were with yesterday?” the first prying coworker asked.

“How would yo ass even know if I was with somebody? Stop listenin' t' this a-hole.”

“What, was it a dude you was with?” asked the second coworker, who got enjoyment out of egging me on whenever I got mad. This day, unfortunately, was no exception. I was already in hot water, so I simply tried to ignore the intrusive remark. “You know, we ain’t got a problem with homosexuals ‘round here. I’ss okay if you are.” He was too good at this.

“Man, I ain’t gay,” I irritably shot back.

“Then why ain’t you tryna tell us who you was with yesterday?” This guy was SO convinced that I was doing something he had no business knowing about with someone he had no business knowing about and there was hardly anything I could think of saying or doing to shut him up.

"Oh, man... You are gettin' me SO angry..." I mumbled as I rubbed a hand on my forehead, which I swore was throbbing from a suddenly heightened blood pressure.

"Well, you wouldn't be if you'd jus' tell us who you was with. Why is it so hard for you t' jus' tell us?" At this point, I could already feel the migraine coming on from the sheer stupidity of the interrogation I was being placed under. So I did what I usually do when I'm faced with an impossibly moronic situation where fighting it only makes it worse; I intentionally lost all sense of caring and decided to go with the Bartleby approach.

“Because… I would prefer not to,” I simply answered after taking a deep breath to simmer down.

“Why the hell not?” asked the first coworker.

“I would prefer not to.”

"Dude, we swear, we won't tell anybody! Can you PLEASE just tell us what you were doing to miss work yesterday?"

"I would pefer not to."

“Get your asses back to work!” shouted a new voice.

“I would prefer not to,” I foolishly answered. I realized my mistake as soon as I turned around to see my boss, a big burly man with a bald head in formal attire that made him look like he was going to court, glaring angrily at me and my “friends,” specifically at me. He walked over to me, looking none too pleased.

“What was that, boy?” He was about my height, but he was much more muscular. Compared to him, I was a walking faggot. (DISCLAIMER: In America, the word ‘faggot’ is, or at least WAS, the term used to describe a pile or bundle of twigs.)

“Ooh, shit, son…!”

“I um… I would prefer not to… let you down, sir! I was jus’ tellin’ these guys the same thing when they was… askin’ me if I would ever slack off on the job!” I nervously lied with a noticeably frightened titter.

“Hm. That’s what I like to hear. You might’ve missed a day without tellin’ anyone, but I see you haven’t lost your work ethic. Keep it up.” With that, he made his way out. I was still shaking in fear at what I could only guess almost happened to me.

“Come on, Twi… PLEASE get done soon…” I murmured.

"...So 'Twi' is her nickname?" asked one of my coworkers. I took that moment to introduce the palm of my hand to my face.

" *sigh* Goddammit..."

Back to Twilight…

“Wow, Rainbow… I… I had no idea you had so much trouble with that…” I said in shock after listening to her crisis.

“Yeah. To be perfectly honest with you, I thought you had trouble with the same thing… you know, with you being an egghead and all…” I could see her troubles did nothing to change her somewhat brash thought process.

“Well, with me, it just kind of… happened. Neither of us really tried to do anything.”

“And that’s what I don’t get,” Rainbow began. “How come a special somepony falls right into your hooves without you even trying? I mean, what’s wrong with me that I can’t find somepony like that?” she seemed so distraught. I felt for her, but I was equally as shocked as I was sympathetic.

“Well, he’s from an alternate universe that I accidentally visited, so I think it was more of me falling into HIS hooves. I can’t rightly explain it myself, but… everything just played out the way it did..." At that moment, a sudden thought had hit me. "Rainbow Dash… were you… jealous??”

“No…! Well, yeah, kind of. I… I just don’t get it. I’ve overheard tons of other ponies talking about how they’d like to go on dates with Fluttershy or Applejack, and even a few that preferred Pinkie Pie. And we BOTH know that Spike obsesses over Rarity. I thought we’d be the only two single ladies out there… then you met Ty. It stinks that he’s gone, but you still had somepony care for you that way.”

“Actually, I was going to try and see if I could convince Princess Celestia to change her mind. I sent a letter, but before I could get a response, Rarity took Spike off on a date.”

“Are you kidding me!?” Rainbow practically shrieked. “Now THEY’RE dating??”

“Not quite. You see—!”

“I thought I’d be able to find SOMEpony before Rarity ever considered Spike an option!” she almost sounded like she was going to cry.

“You weren’t there when he asked her? He told me he did right after Ty and I left. Besides, I thought you said you didn't have the time to meet a special somepony when Applejack said you were jealous...?”

“No. As soon as you left, I went home. And I only said that to get her off my back. But anyway, what were you saying about seeing Celestia again?”

“Oh! Yeah, I spent the night in the other universe with Ty. In that time, we started to talk about Celestia’s decisions and how unfair they seemed. We both came to a conclusion that she may not have given us all the details for her rules, so I decided to try and pay her another visit in hopes of changing her mind. But thanks to Rarity, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that today or not because I needed Spike. Until they get back, I’ve got all the time in the world to sit here and wait for them...”

“That’s great!” exclaimed Rainbow.

“Great? I hardly find anything great about—!”

“I mean, it’s great that you have this free time, because I need you to teach me how to be more… appealing.”

“Rainbow, I have nothing to teach you on that subject. I think it’s a matter of preference for everypony, anyway.”

“Yeah, but as you can see, nopony seems to find me very ‘preferable!’ Maybe I’d have a better chance at going to that other universe and finding somepony there…”

“I… wouldn’t bet on it.” I was unsure of how to tell her that the other universe was inhabited by humans, but I realized that wasn’t the best response.

“And what’s THAT supposed to mean!?” asked an offended Rainbow.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that! *sigh* Listen, I don’t really know what to tell you except to be comfortable with yourself and be confident… Ohh, Ty knew more about this sort of thing than I do…”

“He did?”

“Well, I THINK he did. He did a great job at talking to Fluttershy when they met, and he’s really good at giving advice to other ponies. I know that first-hoof.”

“…Say, where DID Spike and Rarity go?” Rainbow asked after a brief moment of silence.

“I believe they said they were headed to the Ponyville café, but that was a few hours ago. Why?”

“Maybe I could go check on them and see if Spike got that letter yet. If he did, then I’ll be back to bring it to you. If not, then… then I’ll take you to Canterlot myself.” My face brightened with joy at Dash’s proposition.

“You would do that for me, Rainbow?” I asked, barely able to hide my newfound excitement, although I figured she was doing this partly to sort out her own dilemma.

“Like I said, I’m not the Element of Loyalty for nothin’!”

“Ohh, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” I repeated as I hugged the Pegasus mare tight.

“Heh heh, no problem, Twilight,” she answered as she freed herself from my grasp and reared up to fly out of a window. “I’ll be back in a flash!”

“Wait, Rainbow, please use the—!” she disappeared through the window in a polychromatic flash before I could finish. “…door.”