Sister Standoff

by Yoshi89

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1161

Princess Luna stands in the way of Celestia's quest for a fresh-baked Traditional Royal Canterlot cake.

Princess Celestia has her mind set on a mid-morning snack but a concerned Luna wants her to work out with her in Canterlot's gym. With not enough time for both activities, can Celestia come out of this predicament with her cake and her sanity intact?

Published 2016-03-24 21:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-24 21:20:05 UTC

Princess Pique

A blistering, baking morning greeted Canterlot with the tweets of cheery birds singing their unending symphonic hymns. Princess Celestia had woken up bright and early—which she had to do to make every day possible—and retired to the throne room of her castle for daily round of answering letters. She had become so infused with reading and writing letters that she would often speak out loud whatever they had to say, her faithful subjects and expressionless Royal Guards refusing to sink their teeth into the juicy gossip. After rolling her final scroll to send, a midnight blue alicorn pranced into the throne room, her eyes wide with a smile that spanned from ear to ear as she approached her older sister.

"Ah, Luna!" Celestia greeted her. "Good morning to you! What brings you over today?"

"Dear sister, thou art correct," Luna said in reply. "'Tis such a fine morning. May we spend it together?"

"Why, of course, Luna!" Celestia beamed. "I suppose I can afford to take a little time off from my daily duties just to be with you."

"What shall we do today?" Luna wanted to know.

"Let us go to the kitchen together and share some brunch," Celestia said, rubbing her stomach. "I'm so hungry I can eat a seven-layer cake!"

"But, Celestia, thine figure!" Luna gasped. "That certainly may not do! I was wondering if the two of us shall work out in the royal gym together."

Celestia wrinkled her muzzle. "And get hot and sweaty before my lunch banquet? My younger sister, what may I ask is so fun about that?"

"'Twas why this lovely new thing called the bath was invented, Celestia," Luna replied. "I just had one this morning."

Celestia chuckled at her sister's ongoing discovery of Equestria's conveniences. The Sun Princess herself had grown accustomed to new technologies as they came by but poor Luna had to learn how to use all these things at once. The elder princess never minded as long as her sister could adapt to anything she may have missed for one thousand years.

"Nopony will tell the difference," Luna tried again to convince Celestia.

"Well, a morning of answering and writing letters has built an appetite and a little cake won't hurt," Celestia said, shuffling off her throne.

"It shall, Celestia!" Luna warned her. "Nopony would want to see the Princess of the Sun getting stuck in an archway in her own castle!"

"You make it seem as if I'm going to eat three hundred cakes," Celestia said.

"I hath seen you eat," Luna recalled. "'Twas not pretty with you and those leftovers after our last banquet."

"Need I remind you that nopony else was going to eat them?" Celestia defended herself.

"Thou doth not ask," Luna said.

"There was no sense in letting it go to waste," Celestia reasoned, shuffling off the throne and onto her hooves. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Luna, I need to eat."

"Thou must not!" Luna warned her. "Celestia, thou must balance thine daily activities and cake is never the answer."

Celestia, who paused at Luna's sudden outburst, waited until her younger sister had calmed down. She darted her pupils around, hoping they had not caused a scene in a throne room or attracted the least bit of attention of their royal subjects. "I'm going to be just fine," she said. "If I was putting on weight, my guards surely would have noticed by now."

"The ones thou hath not sent to the moon?" Luna deadpanned.

Celestia cleared her throat and lowered her brow. "The point is," she said, "I need to eat and the only thing that can satisfy my hunger is a cake from the royal bakery."

"WELL, WOULD THOU PREFER TO EAT HEALTHIER?"

Luna's sudden usage of her powerful voice of the past took Celestia by surprise. Once her eardrums stopped ringing, she lowered her brow and focused her pupils at her sister. A tint of red flushed on her face. "Do not use your Traditional Royal Canterlot voice on ME, Lulu!" she shouted back at her.

"For your information, Tia," Luna growled. "I care about you!"

"I care about you, too, sister," Celestia said, lowering her voice. "But in all fairness, I care about my stomach, too, so I need to eat!"

"Yes, but not an entire cake!"

"I will have none of your ruthlessness!" Celestia proclaimed, walking up to Luna. "I am on my way to the kitchen and that is final!"

Luna's eyes formed into slits as she forced her muzzle against Celestia's. "No! You're coming with me to the gym and that's final!"

Celestia shifted her body left and right but Luna did the same, matching her every move like a mirror. She lit her horn but so did Luna, ending her teleport threat. She spread her wings and stopped herself yet again when Luna also unfolded hers. The younger princess even one-upped her by hovering a couple of feet off the floor.

"I don't have to take this. Excuse me, Luna, I need to eat." Celestia raised her voice as she folded her wings.

"THOU NEEDETH TO WORK OUT!" Luna snapped in her Canterlot voice again, hovering closer to Celestia.

Undeterred, Celestia shouted back. "I'm going to the kitchen!"

"You're going to the gym!" Luna shot back.

"No, the kitchen!"

"The gym!"

"The kitchen!"

"GYM!"

"KITCHEN!"

"BUTTON!"

A little brown colt with a spinning propeller on his beanie looked back at his mother, a yellow mare with a plaited light brown mane. His mother walked closer to him, his heart pounding as he dropped doll versions of the two royal pony sisters onto a Canterlot Castle play set.

"Hi, mom," Buttom Mash said. He waved to her with his eyes wide, a sweat drop on the back of his two-toned orange mane.

"What are you doing in here?" the mother asked, lowering her brow.

"Just playing with the dolls Sweetie Belle lent me," Button answered.

"Well, keep that infernal screaming down, or I'll have to take those toys away from you, too," his mother warned him.

"Okay, mom."

"You promise, honey?" the mother cooed, letting the anger escape from her face.

"Yeah, mom, I will," Button said in a conceding tone.

"Remember," the mother said, "if you're really good, you can have your Joy Boy back in five days instead of six." She turned tail and trotted towards her son's bedroom door. Those closing words to an eight-year old colt seemed like forever. How was he going to last another five or six more days without his prized possession? After she closed the door, Button faced away and glowered at the play set beneath him. He kicked the Celestia doll with his foreleg across his bedroom which ricocheted off a wall and landed in Canterlot's kitchen next to a plastic seven-layer cake.

"Aw, being grounded sucks," Button mumbled under his breath.

"Button, language!" his mother's voice echoed back into his room.