Author's Note
You weren't kidding, Light; Rarity is the most complex MLP character and the hardest to write! Can you believe she was a filly pincess before?
Nothing happened to inspire this story. I swear. It just happened.
"WHO. DID. THIS?!?!"
Saturday morning in Ponyville is like Saturday morning in the rest of Equestria; it is a time for everypony to prepare to enjoy some nice free time for twenty-four hours. Princess Twilight Sparkle woke up from her bed at 8:00 a.m., and she, too, was ready to start her daily routine: breakfast, books, friends, books, dinner, books before bed, bed. She had only one thing on her mind for starting the day, and that was the sweet taste of pancakes, her favorite food. She could already smell the sweet pastries, her mouth salivating at the thought of consuming them. She speedily got the pancake mix, poured it onto a pan, and began to cook. Within minutes, they were hot and on a plate, ready for her taste buds to praise. There was only one thing that stood between her and taste bud heaven: she had to check on her books and organize them.
"Just wait there, little flat sunshines. You'll be satisfying my hunger real soon," she said, and headed off to check her books.
About five minutes passed in the transition between Twilight entering her castle's library and her reentering the dining room. By the time she walked in, the pancake smell was gone, and when she realized that there was vacancy where the pancakes once stood...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
One could argue that the Princess of Friendship's shriek startled all of Equestria. Twilight stared in fear and horror at the scene which had occupied the dining room. She could see tears well up in her eyes.
"That was the last batch of pancake mix in Ponyville for two days... I don't wanna have pancakes to start Monday! They're a Saturday tradition!" she cried.
Spike rushed downstairs. "Twilight! What's wrong! Did something happen? Did someone steal pictures from my Shrine of Rarity?"
"Shrine of Rar... Nevermind, Spike. Look!" Twilight pointed at the empty plate.
"Um, uh... The dish is dirty?" Spike replied.
"No, Spike. Someone ate my pancakes!"
"So?"
"I will find out who committed this crime. I won't rest until I do! When I do find them, there will be consequences to face," Twilight said darkly. Spike shuddered.
"I assume you know why I called you all here," Twilight said to her five best friends.
"What happenin', Twilight?" Applejack asked.
"Someone, or something, has swiped my pancakes, and I WILL find out who."
Rainbow Dash cut in. "So, you're telling us that someone stole your pancakes?"
"Not just stole; they MUTILATED them! They swallowed each and every one!" Twilight replied. Rainbow Dash was now finding it difficult to keep a straight face.
"BAAAAH hahahahahahahaa!" Rainbow fell to the floor, laughing to death at the situation.
"Does this strike you as funny, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight questioned. Her head hung over Rainbow's, eclipsing the light above.
"Well, duh! Your all worked up because someone ate your pancakes, Twi? That's hilarious!" Dash replied.
"You would know how well I make my pancakes...
"And that is why YOU stole and ate them!" Twilight yelled. Everypony gasped. Dramatic music played from somewhere.
"Excuse me?" Rainbow said with a scornful look on her complexion.
"It's pretty obvious, Rainbow Dash. Everyone knows how fast you are. Able to pull off the Sonic Rainboom with relative ease. You were probably flying by my castle and happened to smell the scrumptious aroma of the pancakes. Too sweet to resist, you waited patiently for me to check on the library. That was your chance to swoop in, take them elsewhere, and gobble them up. You put them back effective immediately after you were finished, and fled the scene as fast as you could. Case closed," Twilight replied.
"Yeah, about that, I wasn't even awake until you called us over, Twilight. Even if I was, I'd probably be reading Daring Do to start the day while eating breakfast! You know better than anypony that my days start with Daring Do," Dash replied. Twilight could say nothing more. Rainbow Dash was telling the truth, she could tell.
"Okay, you're innocent. But our next best suspect...
"Is PINKIE PIE!!" Twilight yelled, again. Dramatic music again played out of nowhere.
"Okay, where's that coming from?" she said. Twilight looked at Spike. He hid a tape recorder behind his back.
"Sorry, Twilight. It's just so fitting!" Spike said. Twilight only rolled her eyes.
"As I was saying..." Twilight continued. "Pinkie Pie, it's no secret that you have the largest sweet tooth in Equestria."
"Yep! Although, it's as big as my other teeth. Maybe that's because all my teeth are sweet teeth!" Pinkie replied.
"...Right, well, it's because of that that you simply couldn't resist the aroma or, especially, taste of fresh-baked pancakes from the last batch of pancake mix in Ponyville for a while. You passed by and did what any pony with your abilities could do: teleport in here, swipe the pancakes, eat them, and put the plate back, fleeing the scene soon after," Twilight said, confident that she caught the culprit.
"Tee hee hee! You know I can't teleport, silly! I'm an earth pony, after all! Even so, I would never eat somepony else's food without asking first," Pinkie retorted.
"Point taken," Twilight replied.
"Oh, I should have brought my Shadow Spade costume had I known this was what would transpire..." Rarity muttered. Twilight heard.
"Oh, you have thing with the shadows, Rarity; and that is why you're our next suspect!" Twilight said, as everypony gasped. Why would Rarity pocket and eat pancakes?
"Twilight, why would I, of all ponies, pocket and eat pancakes? You know very well that I eat only the most elegant and well-prepared dishes. How could you!" Rarity replied.
"Easy. You wanted a change of pace!" Twilight remarked, a smirk coming across her face. Rarity was taken aback. "All that elegant eating was really starting to bore you, and pancakes seemed like the perfect choice on a Saturday. You smelled them when waking up, and decided that's where you should go. Thus, you donned a black jumpsuit and made haste for the castle. You teleported in here, and snaked your way around until making it to my dining room. You picked up the plate, but heard me coming back after organizing my books. You picked up the pancakes, and off you went, dropping the plate in the process."
"OKAY, YES! I ADMIT IT! I DID EAT COMMON FOOD THIS MORNING! I COMMITTED AN ATROCITY AGAINST FABULOUSNESS!!" Rarity cried.
"And the truth flows forth," Twilight replied, triumphantly.
"But I ate Oatly's cereal earlier. The healthy things. It is obligatory for me to always look fabulous!" Rarity retorted. "I'll try pancakes one day. Just not today."
"You're right, Rarity. Besides, I would have heard the plate dropping, and plus, it would've been on the floor if that were the case," Twilight said, unable to back up any more assumptions.
"Applejack, I think-"
"Twilight, I don't like pancakes. How would I sneak around your castle, anyway?"
"Well, I... Uh... Fair point." Twilight could say nothing in contrast; Applejack was, after all, the Element of Honesty.
"Well, Fluttershy, that only leaves you," Twilight pointed at Fluttershy. That moment possessed the loudest group gasp.
"Gosh, I-I don't know what to say... But I didn't eat them." the timid pony replied.
"Sure, you didn't. But you certainly consumed them!" Twilight yelled, causing Fluttershy to cringe backward. "And you didn't even need to raise a hoof to do it. You obviously had Angel go and grab the pancakes, considering he could easily hop around the castle, undetected. Besides, if he's strong enough to lift and support a cookbook, he's certainly capable of holding up some ten pancakes to retrieve. You naughty, naughty pegasus."
Almost in tears, Fluttershy brought her counterargument. "Twilight, I'd never steal anything from anypony, especially not my friends. I would also never send Angel out to commit some crime. You know as well as anypony else that I'm no crook or thief. Besides, I was feeding my animals this morning and playing games with them." Twilight returned her attention to the rest of the group.
"Well, who does that leave?"
"OKAY, OKAY, DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH?! IT WAS ME, TWILIGHT! IT WAS ME!" Spike cried, finally telling the truth.
"Oh, Spike, why?" Twilight asked.
"They just smelled and looked so good as I came down and saw them! I just felt my tongue take control of my body as I went and ate them! I'm sorry, Twilight!" Spike was in tears at this point.
"*sigh* It's okay, Spike. Just promise me you won't do it again," Twilight said in a motherly tone.
"I promise, Twilight. I promise," Spike replied.
"Mm. Say, Applejack, do have any apple pie?"
"I just baked a fresh one before coming here!" Applejack said. "Come on, y'all!"
As everyone rushed to Sweet Apple Acres, Spike stayed behind, waving goodbye to the group. "Do you still have them?" Angel hopped out from behind a bookshelf, holding the real pancakes. A breeze of wind blew over the cardboard cutout of the missing pancakes in the dining room.
"Nice," Spike said. He and Angel spent the next five minutes munching on Twilight's original pancakes.
