How do YOU do it, Spike?

by MajorDude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1672

The Mane 6 ask Spike for some advice on problem-solving songs. [SPOILERS for S7 E14]

[ SPOILERS FOR SEASON 7, EPISODE 14: Fame and Misfortune ]

The Mane 6 tried to reason with a bunch of angry/arguing ponies with a song. They failed.

Spike tried to reason with changeling-hating ponies with a song. He succeeded.

For once in their life, the Mane 6 desperately ask for Spike's advice.

Published 2017-08-13 00:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-13 00:40:05 UTC

How do YOU do it, Spike?

"That was an awesome comic!" Spike declared as he placed his Power Ponies comic book on the ground. Jumping off his small bed, he stretched out his draconic arms as he let out a big yawn. It may have been a bad idea to start reading early in the morning, since it took out a good amount of energy for Spike, but when it comes to his comic books, it was always worth it. Coincidentally, his stomach started to grumble a bit.

"Man." Spike grumbled as well as he held his stomach. "I shouldn't have skipped breakfast. I wonder if we still have some jewels left over?"

With hunger arising in his mind, Spike quietly walked down the halls with a calm smile on his face. He closed his eyes and began to whistle a tune during his walk. He was so preoccupied with his comic book that he was not able to spend some time with his friends. Such a shame, since they were doing this friendship journal thing. Oh well, it was a good comic book anyway. He stopped when he saw something that made him smile sweetly.

The sight of his seven pony friends hugging each other. Twilight Sparkle let out a smile as she said something to Applejack. "Stay in the friendship moment, Applejack. They can wait a little longer."

"Who can wait a little longer?" Spike asked, interrupting the moment amongst the girls.

"Spike! There you are!" Twilight greeted with a sweet smile before it turned into a worrisome frown. "Where have you been? You missed breakfast."

"Sorry Twi. You know the Power Ponies are more important to me." Spike replied as he shrugged. As if on cue, his stomach grumbled even louder, causing the drake to clench his stomach gently. "Well, tasty gems are more important for me anyway. Heh heh."

"Sorry Spike, but we ran out of jewels." Starlight informed Spike as she shook her head.

"That's okay, Twi. It sure looks like a nice day for some gem hunting." Spike said as he opened one window to gaze at the sunshine...

...Only to end up staring at an angry mare banging at the window.

"Is it true that you don't mind the fact that changelings look like Skittles?!!!" The rage-filled mare screeched in a high tone.

Spike quickly closed the window as he fell on his back. "Woah!" He exclaimed with a shocked look on his face. "Just what the heck is happening?"

The mares looked at each other uncomfortably as Twilight coughed a bit. "Uh, Spike. You know that Friendship Journal thing I told you about?"

Spike nodded before a quick recap was soon told. After five minutes have passed Spike dropped his jaw. "I can't believe it! So...what are you going to do about this crowd of ponies?"

Rarity looked away with a sigh coming out of her lips. "Well darling, nothing for now. It is one of those predicaments where we just have to sit back and wait."

Applejack lowered her hat in disappointment. "Shucks. I'd thought that our song woulda swayed those ponies."

"Yeah, I mean," Rainbow Dash rambled with an angry look on her face. "We're like the best mares for singing. I mean, singing isn't cool but we're still good at a lot of things. Like singing..."

The mares looked down with frowns on their faces as Spike felt guilty for them. He wished that there was something he could do to help. The ponies wondered what went wrong from their singing...however, they slowly lifted their heads as the gears in their minds began to turn. THAT WAS IT! All of a sudden, they quickly turned to Spike. The immediate staring caused Spike to back away a bit with a curious but careful look on his face.

"Um, Spike?" Fluttershy asked the dragon. "How do YOU do it?"

"Huh?"

Fluttershy cleared her throat as she faced Spike. "Well, we tried to tell the crowd that we're not perfect. That we have flaws but in the end it helped us become special and strengthens our friendship. We, uh, told them that by song."

"But when the ponies heard our song, it went from one ear and back through the other!" Pinkie Pie shouted as she stuck her hoof through her right ear and through her left ear.

"I see." Spike replied as he tilted his head. "But why are you asking me?"

"Are you kidding Spike?" Starlight asked with a raised eyebrow. "Don't you remember back when Thorax was considered evil?"

Spike looked at her curiously for a bit before realization hit him like bricks. "Oh right, Thorax wasn't trusted amongst the ponies but I convinced them that he was a good guy."

"That's the thing, Spike." Twilight shouted as she began to explain even further. "Even the ponies who hated Changelings more than Shining Armor accepted Thorax. Even Shining Armor lets Thorax babysits Flurry Heart once in a while! All because you sang one song!"

"But when we sang a song that was a million times more awesome!" Rainbow Dash shouted with her big ego stinking up her tone. "They didn't get the idea!"

"So you're wondering why my persuasion via singing worked for me but not you?" Spike asked before the mares nodded in agreement.

"Let's see." Spike uttered as he placed his hand on his chin, deep in careful thought. "Well, for one instance, I don't sing much songs. All of you have at least song one or two songs, especially together without me. Heck, even in the human universe, you girls sing more than my dog counterpart."

The mares looked at each other as they silently agree with some of Spike's reasoning.

"In addition," Spike continued, "I was singing to reasonable ponies. I'm going to admit that you girls tend to have weird followers so reasoning with them tends to not work. But for me, I wasn't arguing with weirdos like them, I was arguing with Twilight, Shining Armor, Cadance, Starlight, and a good amount of guards. All of you were reasonable, well not all the guards, but I knew that Twi, Shining, Cadance, and Starlight would understand me more."

"I'll admit, I was kinda worried my song wouldn't work." Spike confessed as he turned around with a sad look plastered on his face. "That you'd banish Thorax and I'll have to go with him and we both end up being wanted while disguised as librarians while Twilight continues to chase us unaware that she's becoming worse than the changelings, especially when she was so close to declaring war against the dragons."

As he turned around, he was greeted with deadpanned and confused looks from the ponies, especially Twilight.

"Okay, I got that idea from a comic I read, but that's not the point!" Spike exclaimed as he lifted his hands up in the air. "I'm just saying that I had my doubts on whether the song would work or not."

Letting out a deep breath of air, he concluded, "So those are my opinions on how my persuasion by singing worked for me."

The mares silently thought to themselves with Spike's reasoning in their heads. After a short period of silence, along with Spike's discomfort from the waiting, one of the mares broke it.

"So technically, you got lucky."

"Yes, Rainbow Dash. I got SUPER lucky." Spike admitted as he rubbed his arm a bit with a bashful look on his face.

He quickly replaced it with a brave look on his face. "You know what? I'm going out there and try to convince those ponies!"

"Spikey-Wikey, are you sure?" Rarity asked as she saw her favorite dragon walk to the door. "You really think the ponies would listen to you?"

"Well I'm not going to just sit aside and do nothing!" Spike responded firmly as his claw touched the door. "Maybe Rainbow's right! Maybe I got lucky last time. Who knows, I could get lucky this time!"

With his nervousness finally gone, Spike the dragon opened the door, exposing himself to the ponies. For the moment, the arguments halted the second the ponies saw the drake standing at the doorway. With their attention finally shifted towards him, Spike cleared his throat as he began to sang the first lyrics of his song.

"HEY! It's Spike! Booooooooooooooooooooooooo! You're nothing but a door mat!"

"Don't you dare boo him! Don't you realize how underappreciated he is!"

"Why didn't you invite Spike to your birthday party, Twilight?!"

"Because he's useless, you nincompoop!"

"Spike and Rarity should just remain friends! Wrong age and species, remember!?"

"But what about when Rarity turned him back to normal when he was a rampaging, giant dragon?!"

"What about Starlight? I mean, she and him have more interactions than the other ponies!"

"She's a rip off than Sunset Shimmer! But worse!"

"You take that back!!!"

"NEVER!"

As the arguments started to grow violent the second someone brought over a plastic scepter that looked like Twilight and what appeared to be a fidget spinner, Spike quickly shut the door and locked it.

"Well, that didn't work." Spike grumbled a bit as he facepalmed with a bitter look on his face.

"So what now?" Twilight asked as she peeked out of the window.

Spike lifted his hand from his face as his mind was undergoing a deep thought process. All of a sudden, he had an idea! It was a cheap and ridiculous idea, but at this point anything was acceptable! And Spike was extremely sure that this will solve everypony's problem!

"How about we-"

Author's Note

This popped in my head. So I had to write it, regardless of the errors that it has and the poor execution of the concept. And while writing it, I felt a little troll-y for a bit. So then...yeah...
I'm not sorry. I never will be sorry. Deal with it, you pony-loving people. :moustache:

If it makes you feel better, writing this story made my hands sore?