Pearls Of Wisdom

by Eddy13

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6
Length: 3862

A series of one-shot misadventures featuring the Mane Six.

Join the Mane Six as they go on some of the wackiest adventures imaginable, and learn some interesting new morals along the way.

Published 2016-09-08 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-08 04:10:01 UTC

Potion Hunters

It was another bright day in Ponyville as Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, awoke from her slumber. With a yawn, she rose from her princess-sized bed and dropped to the floor.

Checking the calendar, her eyes widened in excitement when she noticed what day it was.

"Yes!" she cheered as she leaped into the air "It's finally here! The day I've been waiting for has arrived at last!"

Just then, the door opened and in stepped a groggy-looking baby dragon that had been awoken by the noise.

"What's all the hubbub about, Twilight?" Spike asked with a yawn.

"Spike, do you know what day it is?" Twilight asked with a wide grin.

"Uh, Wednesday?"

"Besides that" Twilight said dismissively "Spike, today's the day the new potion I ordered is ready!"

"Uh, remind me again what this potion is supposed to do?" Spike asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Spike, this potion is important for my experiments" Twilight explained as she levitated her saddlebags onto her back "It'll help me with my studies in finding out how the Tree of Harmony was created!"

"Do you really need to go to such elaborate means to figure out the Tree's origins?" Spike asked in confusion.

"Spike, there's so much about the Tree of Harmony we don't know about" Twilight said in fascination "Where did it come from? How did it bear the Elements? Why did it give us this castle? The Tree has many secrets surrounding it and I won't rest until I discover them!"

"Or let anypony else rest, apparently" Spike said with a sigh.

"Thanks for coming with me on this trip, girls" Twilight said as she and her friends trekked through the woods to retrieve Twilight's potion.

"Why exactly did you want us to come along?" Rainbow Dash asked as she followed the alicorn. "I was hoping to get half a day's nap in today."

"I just wanted to share this experience with my friends, that's all" Twilight said simply "This is a momentous event I'm undertaking and I'd like you all by my side every step of it."

"Spike didn't wanna go with yah, didn't he?" Applejack asked bluntly.

"I swear, getting that baby dragon out of the castle is like pulling teeth!" Twilight groaned.

"Really?" Pinkie Pie asked in surprise, "Let's see." With that, she fished out a pair of pliers and grasped a hold of one of her own molars.

"I do have another query, Darling" Rarity imputed "Why didn't you just have the potion delivered by post to your castle?"

"The potion is too delicate to be handled by the rough hooves of mail ponies" Twilight explained "Honestly, I think to them, 'Fragile' means 'Throws this box on the ground as hard as you can'."

"Uh, Twilight?" Fluttershy piped up "Not to pry, but how far is this place where you're picking up the potion?"

"Not to worry" Twilight said assuringly "It's not too far. We should reach it within two hours."

After walking for five hours, due to the hold ups like Rarity asking to stop and catch her breath every five minutes, Rainbow Dash reading the map upside down (Twilight commenting whose idea it was to put her in charge of navigation), and dealing with obstacles like rickety bridges and falling rocks, the group finally arrived at their destination.

The pharmaceutical lab looked like a rundown cabin, with a dash of witch doctor's tent and mad scientist's lab thrown in. Hammered above the door was a sign with the store's name: Brew-Ha-Ha.

"This is tha place where ya' are picking up yer all-important potion, Twi?" Applejack asked in surprise.

"Don't judge it by its appearance, Applejack" Twilight said defensively "This place is known for making the best tonics and serums in all of Equestria."

At that moment, something pink and fluffy sailed overhead and crashed into a tree. Crawling out of a bush, Pinkie Pie held up her pliers, which were still empty.

"Wow" she said in amazement "Pulling teeth is really difficult."

Shaking her head, Twilight turned to the group "Come on, let's go in and get my order."

Entering, the group found themselves in a small room, wall to wall with shelves line with a multitude of bottles contained various colored liquids. In front of the mares was a front desk. Walking up to the desk, Twilight rang the service bell for somepony to see her.

Within a few moments, a black unicorn stallion with silver hair and a cutie mark of a bottle of castor oil appeared behind the desk.

"Hello, I'm Cure All" he said to the group. "How may I help you today?"

"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle" the alicorn got right down to business "I had a custom-made potion ordered?"

"Ah, yes, I remember that order" Cure All said with realization "Quite a bizarre one."

"Well, can I have it?" Twilight asked with a smile.

"Sorry" Cure All said monotonously "We don't have it."

Twilight's face fell and her eyes widened. "Wh-What?!"

"You heard what I said" Cure All replied. "Your order isn't ready yet."

"Isn't ready yet?" Twilight sputtered "H-How close is it to being finished?"

"Finished?" Cure All asked with a raised eyebrow "Lady, it hasn't even started yet!"

"Now wait a minute" Twilight said growing aggravated "You said my potion would be ready in three weeks, and you told me that four weeks ago!"

"Hey, it's not my fault, Miss" Cure All said with his hooves held up defensively. "My apprentice and I had a huge fight and now he refuses to gather ingredients for the potions."

Twilight's anger subsided. "You and your apprentice are sore with each other?"

"Yeah" Cure All nodded "And let me tell you, it's bad for business. You're probably the fifth customer I had to explain to why they haven't gotten their order."

Turning away from the desk, Twilight faced the group.

"Sorry about your potion, Twilight" Fluttershy said sympathetically.

"Yeah" Rainbow Dash said flatly "That means that we came all the way out here for no reason." That earned her a kick to the ribs by Applejack.

"Something I don't get" Twilight pondered out loud "If the pharmacist and his apprentice have a friendship problem, I wonder why the Cutie Map didn't let us know?"

"Maybe tha Cutie Map isn't as all-knowin' as yah think, Twi" Applejack supplied.

"Maybe you're right, Applejack" Twilight shrugged "I mean, why else would the Cutie Map only let us know about a friendship problem every other week?"

Back at the Castle of Friendship, Spike was sweeping up the throne room when he looked to the table in the center.

"Whoops" he grimaced "Must've grazed it again."

Reaching underneath, Spike flicked the 'on/off' switch, reactivating the holographic map.

Back at the pharmacy, Twilight turned back to Cure All.

"Okay, if your apprentice is on strike, why don't you just go out and gather the ingredients yourself?" Twilight asked the pharmacist.

"Somepony has to stay and mind the store" Cure All explained. "Even if I can't make new potions, I still need to be here for those who come for their prescriptions. And since my apprentice won't speak to me, I can't leave him in charge."

"Terrific" Twilight moaned while facehoofing "I can't believe that my studies are being halted by a young stallion's stubbornness!"

"Well, you know" Cure All said slowly "If you really want your potion made that bad, you and your friends could go out and gather the ingredients yourselves."

The six ponies looked up at this statement.

"Wait, so not only did we trek all the way out here to get nothing, now we have to do your apprentice's job because he's being lazy?" Rainbow Dash asked in annoyance.

"You got a better idea?" Cure All asked with a raised brow.

"Guess we have no other choice" Twilight said in submission.

"But Twilight" Rarity protested "I only agreed to come along to accompany you on your long trip, not to do manual labor!"

"Sorry, Rarity, but it's our only option" Twilight said reluctantly "Otherwise, we really have come all the way out here for nothing." she turned back to Cure All. "What are the ingredients?"

"Here on this paper" he replied as he held out a list telekinetically, which Twilight took into her magic.

"Well, I guess we better get started" Twilight said as she walked back towards the door "Come on, everypony."

"Not so fast!" Pinkie Pie cried before she jumped up on the desk and got in Cure All's face "No way you're getting any free labor out of us. If we do this, we demand a discount on our purchase!"

"The ingredients you'll be collecting are for your purchase!" Cure All retorted.

Pinkie didn't yield. "30 bits."

"75 bits" Cure All countered.

"35 bits."

"70 bits."

"40 bits."

"65 bits."

"45 bits."

"60 bits."

"50 bits is my final offer!"

"Deal" Cure All said as he held out his hoof for Pinkie to shake.

Satisfied, Pinkie jumped off the desk and walked up to group.

"Boy, can I haggle, huh?" she said with a smirk.

Twilight, meanwhile, was facehoofing. "Pinkie, the potion only cost me 25 bits!"

Pinkie Pie grinned sheepishly. "Oopsie."

With a groan, Twilight led the group out the door to begin their foraging.

"So, wha exactly do we need tah get, Twi?" Applejack as the group walked through the woods.

Checking the list she had received, Twilight spoke.

"According to the list, the first thing we need is the nectar of a rare purple sap spitter" she explained.

"Well I don't see any of those anywhere" Rainbow Dash said as she flew upward to scan every direction.

"Duh!" Pinkie Pie commented. "That's because they're rare! Honestly, Rainbow, keep up with this stuff."

"We don't even know what one looks like" Rarity commented "How are we supposed to find it?"

"Um, I think I see something purple on that tree over there." Fluttershy commented while pointing a hoof in the mentioned direction.

Sure enough, on the tree was a small purple flower that looked like a cross between a tulip and a buttercup.

"Oh, it's so beautiful!" Rarity gushed as she, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash approached the plant.

"I wonder why they call it a purple sap spitter, though?" Rainbow Dash pondered outloud.

No sooner did she finish asking that question than the purple plant inhaled deeply before shooting a huge torrent of purple sap at the trio of ponies, ten times bigger than the size of its bulb. The torrent went on for a whole minute before it finally died down, leaving Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash covered completly head to hoof in purple gunk.

"Well, now we know" Applejack deadpanned as she wiped the sap off her face. Upon flicking her hoof, the sap flew into the air and was caught in a jar by a certain pink pony.

"Good thing I keep jars all around this place in case of jar-related emergencies" Pinkie commented as she screwed the lid on before passing the jar to Twilight who placed it in her saddlebag.

"Alright, we got the blasted nectar" Rainbow Dash grumbled as Fluttershy helped her clean off "What's next?"

"The list says next we need the red weeds of the Baleful Bog" Twilight replied as she looked over the paper.

"What?" Rarity asked in indignation, having somehow gotten the sap off herself already "Do you really expect me to go through some putrid, muddy, insect-infested swamp to find some weeds?"

"No, of cours' not, Rare" Applejack said soothingly, causing Rarity to sigh in relief.

"EEEEEKKKKK!"

Dozen of birds took to the skies in a panic in response to the shrill, piercing, glass shattering shriek that emitted from the middle of the woods.

Walking through the muddy bog, Rarity looked at the cowpony with a murderous glare.

"You said you didn't expect me to come in here!" she practically screamed.

"It isn't putrid though, isn't it?" Applejack asked with a smirk.

Searching high and low for the weeds needed for Twilight's potion, the ponies came up empty after looking for a full hour.

"Well, that's just great" Rainbow Dash muttered "We've searched this entire bog and no red weeds! I'm liable to file a complaint for false advertisement with that quack!"

"Uh, Rainbow" Fluttershy said slowly "Are you sure you checked everywhere?"

"Yeah, why?"

In response, Fluttershy pointed upward above where Rainbow Dash was standing. Sure enough, high above Rainbow's head in a tree was a bush of red weeds.

"Heh" Rainbow Dash chuckled sheepishly "I knew that."

Flying up to the branch holding the weeds, Rainbow Dash plucked a hoofful of the plants...right before a big vampire fruit bat flew out of the tree and into her face.

"Aah! Aah!" she swatted at the pest, losing her barrings and falling back to ground and landing in the muddy water with a splash! Raising a hoof, she showed that she was still grasping the weeds.

"Okay" she wheezed "What's next?"

Twilight checked the list. "Next, we need...silver fungus."

The ponies searched an underbrush for the elusive fungus until Rarity, exhausted from searching, sat down to rest...only to leap up in pain and end up with the desired fungus stuck to her hindquarters.

"The mildew from a rock in a cave."

The ponies quickly dashed out of the cave with a jar full of mildew, a familiar thorned canine chasing after them.

"Wha in tha world is a timberwolf doin' in these parts?!" Applejack shrieked in fear.

"I don't know" Twilight said before holding up a second jar "but we caught a lucky break." Running for her life, Twilight put a check beside 'mold from a timberwolf's claw'.

"Next is spice roots...submerged in quicksand?!"

A long vine tied to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy respectfully, Applejack and Rainbow Dash dived into the pool of quicksand. After a few moments, the two ponies felt a tug. Pulling with all her might, Fluttershy managed to extract Rainbow from the puddle. Pinkie Pie, however, pulled a little too eager and ended up pulling her fellow earth pony out of the puddle and sent her flying into a tree.

In the cowpony's mouth was the roots.

"Next up, we need brown algae from a lake" Twilight read the list.

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "That one's too easy."

"Aaahh!" Rainbow Dash cried as she dashed out of the lake water at break neck speed, tossing the algae into a jar while covered in black squiggly things. "Leeches!"

"Rainbow!" Pinkie Pie said as she checked the list "Leeches isn't one of the ingredients!"

"Okay" Twilight said panting as she looked over the list of ingredients "Only one more to go."

"What's next?" Rainbow Dash demanded as she sat on her front hooves with her backside in the air while it was tentatively being bandaged by Fluttershy "Do we need to get Floom or something?"

"Actually, this last one should be pretty easy" Twilight said with a smirk "Black moss from a tree."

"Do ya know where tah find some, Twi?" Applejack asked.

"It shouldn't be too hard" Twilight said dismissively "How hard can it be to find a little moss?"

"Aargh!" Twilight groaned as she and the others continued walking through the woods "I can't believe we've been searching for six hours and still haven't found any black moss!"

"That's not the only problem, Twilight," Fluttershy said as she pointed into the sky. Sure enough, Celestia was lowering the sun as they spoke.

"Terrific" Twilight groaned. "I come all the way out here to get a potion and I end up spending the night in some dark woods!"

"Maybe we can head back to the pharmacy for the night and search for the moss in the morning, Dear" Rarity said soothingly.

Twilight sighed. "I suppose you're right. If we couldn't find the moss while there was light, what chance do we have in total darkness?"

"Better than you think, Twilight" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, her rump planted firmly in front of a large tree.

"Pinkie, would you please come on?" Twilight moaned. "The sun will be going down in a few seconds and I want to get as much walking in as possible before then!"

"Just wait a moment, Twilight" Pinkie said sagely. "It'll be worth it."

Before Twilight could argue any further, the sun was gone and in its place, Luna was raising the moon.

"There" Twilight said grumpily to the party pony "Now we have no light at all! Are you happy now?"

"Actually, yes" Pinkie Pie said before pointing at the tree.

Turning to the tree, the others gasped at the sight. For there, completely covering the front of the tree, was acres and acres of black moss.

"P-Pinkie" Twilight said in astonishment "How did you-" she stopped herself short "No, I shouldn't bother asking. The important thing is that we have all the ingredients needed for my potion."

"Yay!" Pinkie Pie cheered "Now we can go back to the pharmacy for the resolution scene!"

"Huh?" Twilight asked in confusion.

"Nothing" Pinkie Pie singsonged with a grin.

Despite the lack of light, the group managed to get back to 'Brew-Ha-Ha' in good time. Upon reaching the door, the heard the sounds of bickering inside. Opening the door, they were greeted by the sight of Cure All have an argument with a young unicorn stallion brown fur, an orange mane, and a cutie mark of a scavenger's bag.

"I can't believe you actually had somepony else go out and gather potion ingredients!" the stallion was snapping "That's my job!"

"Which you refused to do!" Cure All shot back "What, so either you do it or nopony does it at all?!"

"Exactly!" the stallion yelled.

"Ahem" Twilight coughed, getting the two stallions' attention. "Your apprentice, I take it?"

"Yeah, this is the lazy oaf" Cure All sniped as he gestured to the young unicorn. "Don't mind him though."

"Right" Twilight said hesitantly "Well, we got the ingredients needed for you to make my potion. You can get start...HEY!"

Before Twilight could hand the ingredients to Cure All, her saddlebag was levitated off her back and hovered behind the apprentice, his horn glowing with a blue aura.

"No way!" he said stubbornly "I'm the only one who collects the ingredients around here. No way you're making any potions with this stuff!"

"Ah come on!" Rainbow Dash moaned "We went to Tartarus and back to get all that junk!"

"Well, cry me a river" the apprentice snapped back "I've been boycotting this old stallion's potionmaking for nearly a month and I'm not going to let somepony else give him a freebee!"

Twilight, having come all this way to get a potion essential for her studies, only to discover it hadn't been made yet, had to go through an excruciating hunt to get the stuff to make it, and was now being blockaded by a unicorn who was as stubborn as a mule, had finally reached the end of her rope.

"Okay" she muttered under her breath before she looked up with fire in her eyes "That. Is. It! I don't know what the buck happened between you two, but in case you haven't noticed, the one really suffering is me, the paying customer! Who will now have to pay twice as much than originally!"

In the back, Pinkie Pie was whistling casually, choosing to entertain herself by staring at a bottle labeled 'Bottled Laughter'.

Meanwhile, Twilight was still ranting. "You!" she cried as she pointed at the apprentice "I don't know what your deal is, but as a former pupil, I know it's important to show your teacher some respect!" Cure All was about to chuckle when Twilight turned on him. "Don't think you're not to blame either! Considering what my friends and I just went through, it's pretty obvious that your apprentice's job is difficult! You should be more appreciative of what he goes through to get your ingredients!" With a sigh, Twilight calmed down "Now look, if you two don't get it together, not only will you be letting down a bunch of ponies who are depending on you, but your business will be ruined. Do you really think that's worth some little argument?"

The two stallions looked to each other after Twilight's speech, a solemn look on their faces.

"She's right, you know" Cure All said shamefully "Our little squabble has hurt our customers more than each other, and they didn't do anything to deserve that."

"Yeah" the apprentice agreed "She really knows how to deliver a speech on getting along."

"She should" Rainbow Dash said appraisingly "She's Twilight Sparkle!"

The apprentice's eyes widened in realization. "The Princess of Friendship?! Oh buck, I can't believe I almost boycotted an order for a princess! I am so sorry, Your Highness! I didn't mean to mistreat you like that!"

"It's alright" Twilight said with a smile "But isn't there somepony else you should be apologizing to?"

With a look of guilt, the apprentice turned back to Cure All, who looked equally guilt-ridden.

"I'm sorry I called you an ungrateful brat, Rolling Stone." Cure All said sincerely.

"And I'm sorry I called you a cheapskate, Cure All" his apprentice replied before holding out his hoof "Wanna start over?"

Cure All took the hoof and shook it gratefully. "You bet. And tomorrow, I'll start giving you that five extra bits you wanted."

The six friends smiled happily at the sight, until something clicked in Applejack's brain.

"Wait a minute" the cowpony said in disbelief "Ya mean this whole fight started 'cause ya refused tah give him a raise?"

"Yeah" Cure All nodded.

Without saying a word, Applejack turned around before bucking Cure All in the face and sending him flying into a wall.

"He deserves one."

The next day, the six friends started their trek back to Ponyville, a black eyed Cure All and his apprentice waving them good-bye.

"Thanks for everything!" Cure All called out "And don't worry, Princess! Your potion will be done in two weeks!"

"I'll hold you to that!" Twilight said as she led her friends home "Well, I may not be able to continue my studies for awhile, but at least we managed to help resolve an argument."

"Yeah, but do us all a favor, Twilight, Darling" Rarity said with a sigh "When you come back to pick up your potion, leave the rest of us in Ponyville."

"I think I can do that" Twilight agreed.

"Hey, did Ah hear right in that Cure All's apprentice is named Rolling Stone?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah" Twilight nodded "Very odd name for a pharmacy worker."

"Yeah, well, his name isn't something that matters to me at the moment" Rainbow Dash groused "I still can't believe we went through all that just because that stallion refused to collect ingredients."

Pinkie Pie just giggled. "Well, what do you expect, Dashie?"

"What do you mean, Pinkie?" Rainbow asked in confusion.

"It's like the old say goes, after all" Pinkie explained. "A Rolling Stone gathers no moss!"