It was a glorious Ponyville day. The sun was shining and the last of the morning's cloud cover was just being finished broken up by the town's dedicated weather patrol. Most of said team had retired already to enjoy their remaining afternoon, but one pony was still cloud-busting the few wisps remaining in her section. Rainbow Dash normally would have been one of the first to finish her rounds, but on this particular day she had taken on Raindrop's shift as well as her own so her friend could have the day off with her visiting relatives. Making one last pass over the downtown area, she made her final checks against the day's schedule. With a grin that one makes when they know they're finally off for the day, she started heading back to her cloud house on the edge of town. Her plan was to retrieve her latest Daring Doo book and finally finish last chapter’s cliffhanger with the snake pit and Daring literally hanging from a cliff. As she passed over the town center, her peripheral vision caught sight of a pink blob. While normally this would be filed away along with other things she wasn't directly concentrating on, this particular blob was carrying something bright and reflective which grabbed the Pegasus’s attention. Slowing down, she began her descent towards the pink blur which, as she approached, turned out to be a pink pony with an equally pink mane carrying what appeared to be a cube of glass or maybe crystal. She slowed to a trotting pace a few steps away.
"Hey Pinkie!" She called out cheerily.
"Oh, hiya Rainbow Dash!" she replied, setting her glass box down beside her to wave.
"What's with the box?" Rainbow Dash inquired.
"Oh this?" She gestured to the box in question with a tilt of her head. "I had a super-special delivery to make. It was my first ever order of Crystal Empire Crystal Cupcakes, so I thought 'Hey, first times are super important. So I should do something special for it!' And I had this really neat crystal box from our last visit there, so I put box and cupcake together, and BAM! Super-Special-First-Crystal-Cupcake-Delivery!"
"Oh cool." Rainbow Dash casually replied. "So there's nothing special about it? You just happened to have it and thought it'd make a good delivery box?"
"Yeppers! It's completely ordinary in every way."
"Alright, well, I was just about to head on home, but you want to do something?"
"Sorry, I'm still on the clock for another hour."
"Ah well... you at least need any help carrying that empty box back to Sugarcube Corner?"
"That's okay, I've got it in hoof." She picked the box back up, and twirled it in place on the tip of her hoof. As it slowed to a stop, a sly smile crossed her face. "Besides, it's not empty."
Rainbow Dash looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean it's not empty? It's a glass box. I can look right through it and see it's totally empty." Her look changed to one of concern. "Discord or Twilight haven't been poking around in your head again, have they?"
"Whaaat, of course not." She replied easily. "They learned their lessons last time. But I still say the box isn't empty."
"Are you sure you're okay, Pinks? That box is obviously empty."
"5 bits says there is something in this box."
Rainbow gazed at her incredulously. "What? I'm not going to bet on this Pinkie."
"Why not?" She asked innocently. "A minute ago you were so confident I was wrong." She pulled five one-bit coins from somewhere in her mane and started tossing them lazily from hoof to hoof. "If you're that sure, why not put your money where your muzzle is?"
"...You're crazy."
"No, I'm Pinkie. And my offer stands. Five bits says there's something in this box."
"Fine, whatever, you're on!" Rainbow Dash pulled out her bits and stacked them next to where Pinkie had placed hers off to the side.
"Okie Dokie Loki!" Pinkie cheered (maybe a bit too cheerily), "Time for the moment of truth!"
Grabbing the box, she placed it between Dash and herself so they would both have a good view. With a sudden dramatic flourish, she flipped the box and held it so the open end faced downward.
As both ponies expected, Nothing came out.
"Aww... too bad Dashie, looks like you lost." Stuffing the ten bits into her mane, she started to walk off with her box. "See ya when I get off work!"
"What the hay?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. With several quick strokes of her wings, she launched herself to land right in the path of her pink friend.
"Something on your mind, Dash?" Pinkie asked sweetly.
"Uh, yeah." She replied sarcastically. "I won. Fork over the bits."
"Now wait just a minute there," Pinkie said calmly, placing a hoof between her and the Pegasus. "I wagered that there was something in the box didn't I?"
"Right."
"This box here? This box which we discussed at length about being a completely ordinary glass box?"
"Yeah, that one."
"And when I flipped this box, this one here, what came out?"
"Nothing!"
"Exactly!" Pinkie said with a grin, "And in order for that Nothing to fall out of the box, it had to be in the box to begin with!"
Rainbow sat down in confusion. Pinkie waited with a patient smile as Rainbow Dash's mental gears creakily began to try and compute her logic. Eventually they got up to speed, and a comprehending smile spread across her face.
"Heyyy... that's a pretty good one Pinks. Keep the bits, you earned 'em." A thought struck her and her smile grew more insidious. "Hey, can I borrow your box? I want to try this on somepony myself."
"Sure thing!" Pinkie replied, hoofing over the box. "Keep it even. I have more at home. I bought a baker's dozen!"
"...Why did you buy a baker's dozen of glass boxes?"
"Well because I'm a baker, obviously!" She laughed out.
"Well, thanks for box." She called as she began ascending into the sky. As she sped off, Pinkie could just barely make out her saying something between her maniacal giggling. "I can't wait to try this on Twilight!"
"Ohhh," Pinkie said awkwardly, followed by a sharp intake of breath. But Rainbow Dash was far too far away to hear. "Well good luck then.
You'll need it..."
"Twilight!"
Rainbow Dash sailed through a window right into the Friendship Castle's Map room. Twilight, startled, yelped and dropped her book, unfortunately losing her place. She jumped up in a panic.
"Agh! What is it? What's wrong? Is there trouble, are we under attack?!" Twilight exclaimed.
"I want to bet you five bits this box has something in it!" Rainbow exclaimed excitedly in reply, shoving the box in Twilight's face.
"..."
The room went silent as Twilight's deadpan expression faced off against Rainbow Dash's excited and faintly mischievous one. The silence was eventually broken by Twilight sighing.
"Rainbow, normally I'd love to indulge you with... whatever this is. But I'm actually rather busy today. I'm attending a scientific conference this weekend and need to read up on the background of each attending speaker."
"Come on, it'll just take a minute!" Rainbow begged. She was this close to getting one over on Twilight in a prank based on smarts, and she wasn't going to let this opportunity get away. "I'll make it ten bits."
"Really Dash, it's an... interesting offer. But I really-"
"Twenty bits!" Dash pleaded. This was her only chance! She had to use this prank now before Pinkie or somepony else could spoil how it worked to Twilight!
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight began with a stern expression, "I-"
"FIFTY BITS!" Rainbow plead-beg-yelled. She was focused on her goal past the point of rationality. "Fifty bits says this box isn't empty!"
Twilight paused. "...Fifty bits?"
Dash grinned triumphantly. She'd hooked her now. "That's right. Fifty bits says that this box, this glass box here, isn't empty."
Twilight grinned. "Alright. I'll take that bet."
With much less flair than Pinkie, but equal energy, Rainbow Dash inverted the box so the open end faced down. As both ponies expected,
Nothing came out.
Twilight sighed in mock disappointment. "Too bad Rainbow, looks like you lost."
Dash smirked. "Ha, nope! I wagered there was nothing in the box right?"
"Correct." Twilight confirmed with a practiced calm.
"And when I turned it over, what came out?"
"Nothing."
"I said there was something in the box, and I was right. ‘Nothing’ came out, so ‘Nothing’ was in there to begin with. So I won! Ha! Who's the smart mare now, Twilight?" Dash boasted cockily.
"Now wait just a minute there," Twilight said calmly, placing a hoof between her and the Pegasus. "You bet that the box wasn't empty, right?"
"Right." Dash replied smugly.
"So if the box wasn't empty, then there was something in it, right?"
"Right..." Dash said, a little less enthusiastically.
"And when you flipped it, I recall that nothing came out. You agree?"
"Ha, that's right! Nothing came out!" Her smugness had returned full force.
"Well then I won." Twilight finished with a small smile.
"Wha... How?!" the apparently penniless Pegasus demanded.
"You bet that there was something in the box. Conversely then, that means that I bet that there was "nothing" in the box. Since you just agreed that "nothing" did indeed come out of the box, then I won."
With that, Twilight lifted her book from the table in her magic, and began walking out of the room, deeper into the castle. Just before she reached the door however, she turned towards the dumbstruck Pegasus. "I'll take my bits tomorrow. You can buy us lunch at Sugar Cube Corner." And with that, she left.
Rainbow Dash sat there shell-shocked. In her stupor, her Pegasus senses still managed to pick up something shiny in her peripheral vision. On the table, beneath where Twilight's book had been a moment before... was a sparkling blue cupcake wrapper.
Author's Note
Well, this feels like a pretty decent entry for my first foray into the world of (fanfic) writing.
Inspired (loosely) by Abbott and Costello's "You're not here" joke. Seriously, how did they come up with this stuff?
Comments and opinions down below. Let's see what the world thinks of me and my attempt at humor.
