Humanized... Ponies?

Celestia sighed, trotting back and forth in front of the castles infirmary.

Finally, after what seemed like several hours, the doctor poked his head out of the private room, nodding to the princess. She took a deep breath, calming herself before entering.

Before her sat Anonymous the human, or Anon as his friends called him. It was quite an odd sight when he first arrived, the failed teleportation spell by Starlight Glimmer ending up summoning a creature from a different world.

Anon was scared at first, wondering where he had suddenly teleported to, but after being told, simply began to laugh. Apparently there aren’t any ‘magical, miniature pastel colored horses’ as he called them, from his world.

But ever since Anon had arrived in Equestria, he seemed to slowly change. The once mischievous human began to seem less and less like himself as time went on. And now, He is currently sitting in the castle’s infirmary, due to how he was found.

Anon had recently locked himself in his room, refusing to leave for anything. With Anon refusing to come out, food, drink, and anything he requested was brought to him via a slot through his door, delivered by a maid. A couple of days after Anon had ordered an obscenely large amount of hard cider (the only alcoholic beverage the castle had), the maid came by delivering some supplies, only to get no response like she usually does.

She had several guards knock down the door, finding Anon unconscious, bleeding out of a large gash on his forehead, with an identical splatter of blood on a nearby sink. Not only that, but he had enough alcohol in him to kill the average pony, the only thing keeping him alive being his larger liver.

Celestia sighed once more, the sight of Anon’s thousand yard stare making her wonder what was going on inside his head.

“So, we managed to clean the wound well enough, it looked worse than it actually was.  We scanned his body for any damage from the alcohol, but it seems his body took it better than expected.” The doctor sighed, looking away from his clipboard to glare at Anon.

“The only issues we happen to have are getting the actual victim to talk.”

Anon looked away from the doctor, an unreadable expression on his face. Celestia knew that magic seemed to go haywire when directed at Anon, so a magical reading on him was pretty much null.

Celestia moved forward, giving the human a pleading expression. “Anon, the only way we can help you and prevent any future incidences like this is if you tell us what is wrong. You have become so despondent lately, we don’t know what to do.”

Anon remained silent, unable to meet Celestia’s gaze. Finally, he sighed. “Just- ask Twilight. I told her some things about human nature about a month ago.” His gaze returned to the ground.

Celestia and the doctor stared at Anon, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, the doctor turned back to the sun princess. “Well, I guess that’s all he is going to tell us.”

He adjusted the clipboard in his hoof, before tearing off a piece of paper from it, handing it to Celestia. “This is a list of the medicines we will try on him, as well as some things NOT to give him. We’ll be keeping a close eye on him for some time, just to make sure he doesn’t try anything like this again.”

The alicorn nodded, internally cringing at the massive list of various potions. “Thank you doctor, I will go talk to the maid, as well as order some of these. And, just as a heads up, you do realize most of these magic based potions won’t work on him?”

“Yes, we are aware of his resistance to magic. Most of these are plant based, and others have heavy magic, rather than some of the weaker potions we normally give out. For now, the only thing we can do is to experiment.”

Celestia nodded, before heading out, fully intent on a conversation with a certain lavender alicorn.

***

Princess Luna usually tends to be the picture perfect model of stoicism, the most extreme of anything rarely getting any reaction out of her.

But, at the moment, Luna looked ready to kill everyone in the room, as well as their children and grandchildren.

Princess Cadence simply smirked at the princess of the night. “Ready to give up? I doubt you can win anytime soon.”

Luna simply growled. “NAY, THOU SHALL-“ She coughed before glaring at Cadence. “I shall win this tournament of the minds, and you shall fall before me and my mighty empire and weep!”

The princess of love simply rolled her eyes. “Sure, whatever you say. Just pay the two hundred bits.”

Luna sighed, letting a very un-princess like sound exit her muzzle. “By we just passed go…”

Twilight Sparkle looked up from her book, before rolling her eyes at the sight of their game. Ever since Luna had arrived from the moon two years ago, all of the princesses got together at a monthly basis to teach Luna about the modern world. Anywhere from certain sayings and language, to certain rituals and entertainment. She took great interest in these new ‘tabletop’ games, and found them quite fun. That was, of course, when she actually won.

All heads turned towards the door as Celestia entered Luna’s bedroom, her head drooped downward.

“Tia, art thou- I mean, are you okay?” Luna stood up, nuzzling against her. “Another difficult day with the nobles?”

Celestia sat on her haunches, sighing. “No, Day court has been fine. It is just Anonymous. His condition is getting worse.”

Luna blinked, before her ears drooped. Luna and Anon became best friends the moment the two met. Both barely knew anything about modern day Equestria, and Luna was a large fan of the mythology of the humans that Anon told her about.

“Aye, we have noticed his condition worsening, as well as the injuries he has sustained recently. Has he recovered?”

Celestia’s ears drooped as well. “Unfortunately, no. Apparently humans don’t heal as fast as most ponies do. It will be a while before his wound fully heals, and even then it will leave a scar.”

Luna sighed, shaking her head. “How did this all come to pass anyway? Why is he acting so?”

The sun princess raised her head, eyes directed at the newest member of the princess meetup. “Anon said that he told you some information about human nature about a month ago, which may help determine what is wrong with him.”

Twilight suddenly looked apprehensive. “A-actually… Anon kind of told me not to tell anypony about that kind of stuff.”

“Well, he was the one to tell us that you knew, so I can only assume that he doesn’t care if we know.”

Twilight sighed, looking relieved. “Well, we mostly talked about how humans interact socially. He said that humans were social by nature, and said that being alone for long periods of time could have disastrous effects. Some of which include depression, personifying inanimate objects, and all sorts of different things.”

Luna nodded sagely. “We have experienced this first hoof. We actually had a rock village on the moon, in which we lived. The village elder, Granny Granite, was quite kind to us.”

The other alicorns simply stared at Luna, before shaking their heads, focusing on the main problem.

Cadence blinked, looking confused. “Well, he is going through some tough times, but he isn’t alone. He can easily interact with other ponies to fill any social needs.”

Celestia sighed. “And yet, he still is going through all of this. Is there an element we are not taking into account?”

The group silently sat, pondering on Anon’s predicament. After a small amount of time, Twilight’s eyes widened, before she looked to her old mentor.

“What if it is just human interaction that Anon is reacting to? What if all of this is simply due to the fact that Anon is the only human in Equestria?”

Celestia looked to her old student, an uncertain look on her face. “But how exactly would we deal with something like that? As far as history goes, Anon is the first human we have ever encountered, and most of Equus has been explored.”

Twilight looked to Celestia, a grin adorning her face. “Well, we could always create some humans. There are a couple of temporary as well as permanent transformation spells that could be used.”

The other alicorns looked uncertainly to Twilight. “Not only that, but Anon has made several off-hoof comments about this kind of thing, even saying how it would be nice to have a small colony of humans here!”

The sun princess contemplated this as Cadence looked to Twilight. “I think this could also solve another dilemma as well!”

“Oh? What do you mean?”

“Well, remember how when Anon first arrived, there was a big rush to court him by many ponies?” Twilight nodded. “Well, he made a comment saying how he was only attracted to humans. With this new species, he could find a lover!”

Luna blushed, scrunching up her face as she folded her forelegs. Celestia’s face had slowly turned from uncertain to intrigued as the two younger princesses talked about how humans could change Equestria with their arrival.

***

You are Anon the human.

So far, you have been living in Equestria for about a year or so now. Your arrival was met with some confusion at first, both on your part, as well as the ponies’ parts. It was a bit chaotic at first, but you eventually moved to Canterlot at the princess’s request. Thankfully things got a bit better.

Soon after moving to Canterlot, you met Luna, and quickly found a friend in her. Both of you enjoyed the night sky, being alone, pranking Purplesmart and her merry crew… the list went on. Not only that, but Luna enjoyed your stories from back home, especially anything relating to mythology.

Granted, you were no scholar, but you gave her what you could remember from school. Things grew quiet, and quite nice after a while. Granted you would rather have stayed in your locked room rather than deal with what was in front of you right now.

Standing in front of you is a line of about ten ponies, with Luna standing in its ranks as well. Twilight sits nearby, a large tome resting at her hooves. Celestia stands to the side of the line, smiling at you, hoof outstretched towards them. You have no clue how to react, so you simply stand there, waiting for Celestia to say something.

When she doesn’t do anything other than stand there as her smile falters, you look to her with a bored look on your face. “Alright, I’ll bite, what’s going on here?” Celestia beams at that, before lowering her hoof to fully face you.

“Anon the human! We have noticed your mood growing dark over the last few months, so we have talked with our fellow princesses, and we have figured out what you needed! Pure Human contact!”

She raises a hoof, sweeping it before the line of ponies. “We have gathered a small group of ponies, who shall permanently become human so that the human race may become part of Equestria!”

Wat.

“Uh, what?” You can feel the cogs in your brain start to rust.

Celestia sheepishly smiles, looking at you with a pitying look. “Well, we figured the reason you were acting this way was due to you not having any human contact in over a year. So, what better way to solve that, than with humans in Equestria?”

You continue to stare at the line of ponies, your eyes running across its ranks. You see three pairs of stallions and mares, two additional mares that look heavily familiar, a tiny filly squished between her parents, and Luna.

“Not only will it solve your depression, but it will bring in a new completely intelligent species to Equus, something that hasn’t happened since the griffins arrived!”

After reviewing all of what Celestia had to say in your head, as well as greasing your mental cogs, you simply give Celestia a deadpanned stare.

“Nope.” With that you begin to make your way out of the room.

Before you get far, you feel a sense of weightlessness and the tingly feeling of dark blue magic wash over your body. “And where do thou think thy hoo- feet are taking thou?” Luna approaches you with a slight blush on her face.

“Anonymous the human! We have our eyes upon thee ever since thine arrival! We have sought to court thee with haste, but thou either alluded our attempts or were ignorant of such. When we discovered thine passion lay only for humans, we were devastated.  But now we can properly begin anew! If thou allow us to become human, then perhaps we can begin upon the path of lovers, and aid in the population of this new race?”

By this time you are already blushing, but are not given enough time to respond, as the pair of mares you saw before walks forward. Before you is Bonbon, and the infamous Lyra, both of whom were one of the many reasons that you left Ponyville, if only a smaller one.

Lyra looks up to your floating form, a pleading expression on her face. “Listen Anon, I know we were an issue back in Ponyville, but I promise we won’t be now! The only reason Bonbon and I were curious about you was simply due to the fact that not only were humans classified as myths, but were also considered rare and incredibly powerful monsters. With us becoming human, we have no reason to pursue you anymore!”

The whole line comes forward, each speaking their own part, why they wanted to become human as well as why they should. Eventually, the small filly inches her way to you, eyes as large as platters.

“Pwease mister Anon? We promise we won’t be any trouble…”

“Okay, OKAY! Just put me down, and stop talking!” The room goes silent, and the magic surrounding your body fades.

“Look, I’m willing to do this, but I need to know some things first.” You look to Celestia. “What exactly do you intend for these ponies, other than turning them into humans?”

Celestia blinked before nodding. “We have planned a bit in advance. For one, we know how the nobles react and reacted to your presence, so every human will be all together under one roof, rather than be separated with risk of the nobles doing something rash to individuals. We also plan on you teaching these ponies about what it means to be human, as well as how certain bodily functions work. Other than that, the fate of Equestrian humans is up to you.”

You review this in your mind as you look at the ponies assembled before you. They all look to you with hope in their eyes. You contemplate Luna, as well as the filly for several moments, before finally looking back to Celestia.

“Before I do this, I must ask a question.” The princess nodded. “If Luna turns into a human, what exactly will be done about the moon?”

Celestia waves a hoof in front of her in a disarming manner. “Do not worry Anon. When a pony transforms into a different creature, they retain the same magic levels, as well as the ability to cast magic, no matter the creature. So even if a unicorn were to turn into the smallest of creatures, they would still be able to cast high level spells.”

You nod, continuing to stare at the group of ponies in front of you. You mentally sigh, realizing what you about to do, wondering just what kind of untold havoc this will bring upon Equestria.

“Alright, I suppose we can do this then.” The room erupted into cheers, before they positioned themselves back into their line formation.

Twilight got up from her position on the ground, heavy tome floating into the air. “Alright, this spell will be completely permanent, meaning that no spell can reverse this process. Does anypony still want to back out?”

When no hooves raised into the air, her horn began to brighten, slowly increasing in intensity, before a beam connected itself to Anon and the entire line of soon to be humans…