Warm and bright. The heat of the fire washing over Anon's face felt pleasant. Velvet stood beside him, watching the rolling flame. The two stared on as the fire engulfed the restaurant Anon had booked for them this evening. When they'd arrived on this street in Canterlot, having just turned the corner, the two were greeted by the view of a dozen fire-fighter ponies in the process of dowsing water on the enkindled building. The smell of soot mixed with assorted burning things and water-soaked wood stung their noses. The thick smoke rose up as if to touch Luna's moon.

Anon and Velvet turned slowly to their date, and stared at each other for one incredulous moment or two. Things like this were usually a bad omen, especially after their little adventure on the train. Each wondered if they should cancel the date and reschedule...

...naw!

Just like they did with the ash falling around them, they smirked at one another and simply brushed it off.

"Um... so…” Anon started, a crooked smile etching itself onto his face, “want to go get a bag of marshmallows with me? We could roast them over the restaurant and still have the best seats in the house if we hurry."

Velvet giggled. "Well, as much as I love the idea, dear, I think we should let the fire-ponies do their job. I didn't get dressed up so I could play the part of Cinder Bella as she leaves the grand ball." She winked at him.

"I guess you're right. Eh, I'd heard mixed reviews about that place anyway," said Anon, trying to downplay the moment as if there was some hope of salvaging the situation. "There was a fifty-fifty chance we'd end up with an order of raw crab anyway."

Velvet scrunched her face and lifted a hoof to her chest as if some infested creature brushed against her hoof. "You hyuumans eat the weirdest things. Those poor crabs."

"Tell me that after you've had one chase you with those pincers. Eating them is a mercy," Anon shot back, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Have you mentioned that to Twilight's friend Fluttershy?" Velvet said, her expression falling flat "I'm sure she'd love to educate you on how animals have lives too."

"I did,” answered Anon, crossing his arms over his chest. “About every kind of creature I can eat. I made her turn every color of the rainbow when she asked about me and my eating habits. Especially white and green." he smiled devilishly, "You should have seen the face she made when I said I could cook her pet rabbit into a stew.” He then cupped his chin with a hand.” I'm still considering it, do everyone a favor."

"Everypony." Velvet corrected, prodding him with a hoof.

"Tomato, tomahto." Anon shrugged. "So, you know the area better than I do, where do you suggest we have dinner then?"

"Just don't eat any small critters in view of the colts and fillies. As for dinner... hmm..." she tapped her chin, "I know of a few places... No, you'll only get in that one if you have an invitation or are a princess. You wouldn't happen to be a princess in disguise, would you?" she teased.

Anon rolled his eyes playfully. "Oh, yes, I'm the most important person from my planet. That's why I live in a small town and pay rent to a pony I live next door to."

Velvet giggled. "You could be a Garbage Swan! Everypony would come for miles around to have court in the cardboard boxes you keep in the alley-way."

Fixing her a smirk, Anon swiftly pointed a finger to her, saying, "Don't tempt me. That sounds like a blast."

Velvet scuffed her hoof against Anon's shoe. "Anyway, I think I know one I haven't been to in a while. You'll like it, I think. It's a bit old though."

Despite the change of venue, the two had a pleasant walk to Velvet's suggested restaurant, talking and laughing as they made their way. Mostly casual teasing and poking fun at one another. Anon, for his part was having a blast. He'd never met a more interesting pony, or even just a person. She listened and picked up on details most other ponies would miss entirely, even turning the most mundane thing into a joke that would nearly cause Anon to double over in laughter.

Listening to her talk about her children wasn't a chore like with most parents, the ones who kept two hundred pictures in their wallets. No, she recounted endearing qualities and great stories of her children that anyone would love to hear.

She should be writing a memoir if she isn't already.

To say Velvet was a delight to be around would understate how Anon felt about her in this moment, and he couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't noticed this about her sooner. She looked so drained when he first met her, but compared to how she was acting now, he thought she might have been a different pony entirely.

"Were those seats hot or what!" Velvet laughed, "I think Tartarus could use that place to serve gridle-marked guests to its inmates."

"Sure! Add a bar and I'll go. I might even take along my sexy date as well. She's already pretty hot." Anon waggled his eyebrows at Velvet.

She giggled and bumped his shin with a hoof. "Thanks, but I think you may be trying to seduce me, good sir."

"Trying? You mean all this charm is going to waste?" Anon brought the back of his hand to his forehead in faux-dramatic fashion. "Oh, and I tried so hard!" He looked down at Velvet who snickered and tried to keep herself controlled. "Guess I'm not the stud you think I am." he leered at her.

Velvet stopped and looked at him, a confused expression adorning her face before recovering. "Oh, yeah, I got my hopes up. Silly me.” She then stood up on her rear hooves and crossed her hooves over her chest, throwing Anon's faux dramatics back at him with a hint of seduction perfectly woven in as she said, “Take me right here, right now stud!"

Anon chuckled, reaching out and taking one of her hooves. "Come on. If we don't get to this mysterious place of yours soon I'm sure it'll close."

Velvet nodded and the two got back on their merry way. Happy, content smiles showing on their faces, and a pleasant silence lingered between them. Truth be told, though, Anon found her display more than a little hot. He was sure he was blushing, but Velvet hadn't teased him about it yet, either because she didn’t notice or she chose to cut him some slack. Whether it was the former or the latter, it was difficult to tell with her.. She didn't always tease him in the way he'd expect, and many times her wit simply blind-sided him.

Velvet suddenly found herself moving forward with purpose next to her date, as she hadn’t had this much fun in years. She felt as giddy as a filly, her heart fluttering so much she wondered if she would float off the ground. Her ex-husband never treated her sarcasm well, even when they'd started out together; he couldn't handle her brand of humor. Soon enough, Velvet began to wonder what it was she even saw in Night Light that made her stick with him.

Oh, that's right, she thought, the corner of her mouth tugging back. He calmed me down and reigned in all the excitement. Way to kill the mood, Velvet.

Noting the sinking mood and the sour look forming on Velvet’s face, Anon spoke up. "Having fun so far?"

"Huh?” she uttered, a blush forming as she was snapped from her stupor. “Oh, yes! Sorry. I didn't mean to do that... again." She sighed. Just another habit from her former marriage she'd been trying to squash.

After contemplating her response, Anon stopped in front of his date, forcing her to stop and stare at him curiously. He knelt down so the two could be at eye level and looked into those sparkling teal eyes of hers, a soft, gracious grin tugging the corners of his mouth.

"Wh-what?" she asked, knitting her brows. Did she make him angry? Was he going to stop the date here?! No, he couldn't do that. They were having too much fun. Velvet swallowed thickly, feeling a dryness wash from her throat.

Anon pointed right at her, saying, "You've got something on your face."

"Huh? Where?" Velvet said before pawing at her cheeks with a hoof.

"Right..." Anon's finger swirled around just inches from her face, stopped, then jerked forward, "there!"

As his finger lightly pressed against the tip of her nose, Velvet flinched and crossed her eyes, surprised by the sudden contact. She opened her mouth to ask what had been there, but--

"Boop!" he said, his voice having raised to a soft, high pitch.

A weird sensation overtook Velvet’s nose, causing her to scrunch it in response. She then pulled away from Anon’s finger, flexing her muzzle to rid herself of the strange feeling.

"Anon, what—"

"Boop!" said Anon, repeating his action, only much faster this time.

"Stop—"

"Boop!"

"Anon," she warned, the tinge of irritation in her voice attempting to distract him from the flushing cheeks and pouting lips she was sporting. Which, only served to make her that much cuter.

As he moved his finger in to poke her again, Velvet, just as quick as Anon, bit down on his finger, catching it between her teeth. It was more of a nip, really; no pressure or pain involved.

"Spop ipt," she warned around his finger.

Despite her attempt to sound serious, she couldn’t hold back her ensuing smile as she stared at her. Moments later, she released his finger, feeling the familiar heat rise to her cheeks.

"Thanks. I needed that," she said, sitting on her haunches.

"Heh, it was my pleasure." Anon chuckled, cupping her cheek in his hand.

Velvet sighed contently and pressed into the warmth of his alien extremity. His soft palms cradled her cheek in a way she'd never expected, it was new and comforting, and she wanted it to last.

Anon withdrew his hand, stood up, and gestured to the direction they were heading. "C'mon, let’s get something to eat. Otherwise I might actually consider hunting Angel if we don't."

Her excitement renewed, Velvet darted forward, pulling up along-side her date. Her smile and blush clung to her face as naturally as her own skin as she walked beside him, looking up at him all the while.

Upon reaching the new restaurant, a sort of Mom'n'Pop cafe with very homely aesthetics, the two were quickly seated by a young stallion and given menus. Anon remarked to himself that the older colt looked a bit tense, aggravated almost. His dark mane wasn't quite as clean-cut as it probably was when the lad got to work earlier; his uniform looked to be ready for a cleaning, and his baggy eyes suggested a very long or just very stressful day of work.

After offering them water, the colt left to fetch their drinks while they decided on their meals. Once he was gone from earshot, Velvet cleared her throat, Anon's attention snapping fully to the lovely mare before him.

"Poor kid, right?" Velvet commented.

"Oh, yeah. He looks like he could use a day or two off." Anon looked back to the waiter, seeing him duck into the kitchen.

Velvet hummed in agreement, then turned her sights on the menu as she skimmed over its selections.

"So, what on here looks good to you? I know from our past encounters that you need to eat meat." Her voice just dripped sarcasm like a snake with little to no venom restraint "Though, I'm a little curious,Anon. Do you eat meat for pleasure?"

Looking over his own menu, Anon shrugged. "Sometimes, yes. Does that... make you uncomfortable?" He looked up from his menu, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Oh no, not at all,” Velvet answered, shaking her head a bit. After shifting uncomfortably in her seat, she raised the menu closer to her vision as she followed up with, “Just... don't tell me where the meat came from. I couldn't bare the thought of some poor bunny being gobbled up."

"Except maybe Angel Bunny," Anon quipped, a playful smirk chiseled itself to his face.

"Yes. Except maybe Angel Bunny,” Velvet agreed with a curt nod. “Roast that maniacal little two-bit extortionist with his hide on and still alive." Velvet's features then darkened as she recalled her memory of her first encounter with the fluffy little white demon.

"So,” Anon said, laying the menu flat on the table. He tented his fingers, then placed them just below his chin as he stared at his date. “You're giving me your blessing to roast him on a spit. You won't think any less of me if I add seasonings and name the dish 'Velvet's Revenge'?"

Velvet laid her menu flat as well, then smiled coyly at Anon, nearly beaming. "Oh, would you?"

Anon chuckled, then rolled his eyes. "Only if I can sneak him away from his owner. She's actually quite aware that I'd eat him just for the fun of it."

"Damn..." cursed Velvet, bopping the table with a hoof as she turned away. “That's a shame. I might have even joined you."

Anon nearly shot out of his seat. His fingers and hands fell out from under his chin, dropping his face between them. His head shot back up, "You would?!"

"Nope. But it's a nice thought." Velvet twirled her hoof in the air nonchalantly before she gave a very girly giggle.

Anon noticed, after their short little banter, that even on the way here, Velvet didn't oppose the idea of him eating that particular rabbit. A poor little crab perhaps, but not a rabbit, this particular rabbit.

After a few moments of thinking, he just had to know what exactly the little terrorist had done to her. "You know, I've been meaning to ask,” said Anon. “What exactly did he do to you that was so bad?"

"Unspeakable things," she answered, keeping her eyes glued to the menu she held between her hooves. Her grip tightened around the edges,nearly crinkling them.

HIs curiosity further piqued, Anon leaned forward, his hands on the edge of the table. "That's it? That’s all I’m getting?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow. “What's so unspeakable that you can't tell me?"

Velvet looked up, glaring spears and javelins at him and theperverbial tiny, furry object of her torment. "Un. Speakable. Things." She growled.

Now this was a secret Anon would have fun dragging out of her... eventually. Maybe not tonight, but eventually. That wasn't about to stop him from teasing her though.

"Totally unspeakable?" He asked coyly.

"Yes." She looked back down at her menu.

"Undeniably unspeakable?"

"Yes."

"Like, 'lifted your skirt' unspeakable, or, 'made you lose ten thousand bits' unspeakable?"

"Unspeakable, unspeakable things..." Velvet shivered.

"Like, made you cook for him unspeakable, or, made you give him a blowjob unspeakable?" He smirked.

"I– what– unspeakable things." she said pointedly, raising her voice. "Celestia's pearly-white butt, you're so weird sometimes, Anon." She rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly.

Anon chuckled darkly. "Ha, yeah. But I bet you'll never get that image out of your head," he said and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"You're the one who said it."

"And now you're the one who's thinking about it." Anon tilted his head back, resting his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Hmm. I wonder… would it be like sucking on a straw or– Ow!" Anon jerked his knee up from a sudden hoof to the shin, banging his knee on the underside of the table as a result. His face twisted in pain as he tried to keep from yelling at the double-whammy to his leg.

Velvet looked through her menu as if nothing had happened, smiling smugly while she read over her options for dinner.

After rubbing some of the pain from his shin, Anon picked his menu up off the floor. As he did so, he snuck a glance at Velvet's legs, because what male wouldn't at least try, and thought he saw a silver sheen from what appeared to be a piercing. What kind of piercing, he could only guess.

Anon straightened out and propped his menu in his hands and began reading. He'd just gotten half-way down the list when their waiter came back with two glasses of water and a pitcher, which had been carefully balanced on his back.. He placed the glasses on the table, then fished a notepad out of his pocket along with a sleek black pen.

No matter how many times I see them balancing things like that, it's still impressive, Anon thought.

"Now then,” started the waiter. “What would the two of you like? Ma'am?"

Velvet perked, then looked back to her menu. "Oh, umm... how about, the Summer Sunset Salad?"

"Ooh, good choice!" he mumbled uninterestedly around the pencil in his mouth as he scribbled away her order. "And for you, sir?"

The waiter didn't even turn to Anon and instead kept watching Velvet. Rude as it was, Anon quickly doused his annoyance and scanned the menu. Near to the bottom, he spied something he was sure would make the colt trip.

"I'll have what she's having, but, could you have the chef throw on some dead bird?"

As expected, the waiter blanched, nearly sucking in and swallowing his pen before spitting it back out, fumbling to collect both it and the pad.

Their waiter snapped his head towards Anon and gave him an incredulous look. "I-I'm... Excuse me?"

"Dead. Bird,” Anon repeated, grinning at him. “You know, the fried chicken? Oh, and an egg, if you don't mind."

"Uh, yes... sure. I'll see what the chef can do." With wide eyes, the colt nervously retreated to the kitchen.

Velvet turned to Anon, her expression conveying her shock at his antics. "You're evil. Brilliant, but still evil."

His self-appreciative grin never wavering, Anon shrugged. "Hey, he was eyeing you and ignoring me. Pretty sure he was going to write down whatever came to mind while he looked you over."

Velvet cleared her throat. "Yes, well, in my defense, it's not often I get dolled up like this. Twilight and her dramatic friend were having a field day with my mane." Velvet rested her elbow on the table and her hoof against her cheek, all the while smiling at the memory of being pampered by her daughter and Rarity.

"Heh, I can imagine. Though I'm only good at messing up manes, not taming them." Anon then followed that up by winking suggestively at her.

Velvet huffed, amusedly, then yanked the napkin from her silverware before tossing it at his face. "I'll ignore the obvious lewdness of that comment."

"So violent for a pony." he leered, shifting his weight a tad.

A groan of wood rang out from under Anon's side of their booth and he felt himself sink nearly an inch. Instinctively he slid to his left.

No telling when that would go.

Velvet watched him. Her eyebrow rose and then she felt her own side of the booth creek and sink. She slid over as well, and they looked at each other knowingly.

"If that happens again, I'm requesting another booth," Anon offered. Velvet nodded.

An idea came to Anon as if from nowhere.

"Say, Velvet?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"What were you like when you were younger? Younger than your daughter, I mean."

"Nice save," she said, looking at him pointedly. "Well... hmm... I used to be very rebellious, if you can believe that."

"I can't,” Anon admitted. “You? A trouble maker? Snarky, yes. Conniving, yes. But not rebellious."

"Would you believe me if I said I used to dye my mane black and spike it, put in 13 piercings –just on my face and ears alone– wear ripped leather and jeans, and carry around a knife that had notches in the handle?" She then gave him the most saccharine smile while flutter her lashes, punctuated by her chin resting on her hooves and her elbows on the table.

"Right now, definitely not." He admitted, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks.

Another ominous creak was heard, though not as bad as the first. The two wordlessly decided it wasn't enough that they’d need to move to another table yet, and instead just scooched closer.

"Well, I was,” Velvet admitted with a smile. “I ran away from home because my parents hated the music I loved. I became a punk rocker and even ran with a crew, which I eventually took over from the previous boss. Then, as everypony started growing up a bit more, we all left and went our separate ways."

"That's it?” Anon asked, stunned. “There's got to be more to it than that."

A small smile on her face, Velvet waved her hoof dismissively.

"There is, but it's a very long story. Longer than we'll have tonight."

"Uh-uh, we’re doing this now--this I need to hear!” Anon said excitedly, rubbing his hands together. “How about you just recount a few things? Pleeeeeeease?"

"Fine, fine,” Velvet relented, rolling her eyes “You're such a child, Anon."

"Makes you feel old, doesn't it." Anon rebutted, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Hey, you're no spring chicken either." Velvet's cheeks flushed and her voice rose a bit.

Anon chuckled a bit.

"Fine, no story for you. You can eat your dinner in silence." she huffed.

Anon chuckled. "Yes, mom."

As if on queue, their orders had arrived, and Anon made no effort to talk while they ate. However, it happened again. The seat creaked loudly and Anon sunk a noticeable way down.

He had but a moment to look at Velvet before he went crashing through the seat. Due to the pitching boards, Velvet was raised forcibly and went sliding heavily onto Anon. He let out a strained grunt and would have curled up into a ball had Velvet not been on top of him. Acting fast once she recovered her jumbled senses, Velvet quickly got off of injured human.

"I'm sorry! Are you alright?" she said, offering a hoof to help him out of the splintered mess.

Anon coughed, then slowly reached for her. He missed Velvet's hoof a few times, trying hard to blink away the tears in his eyes, but ending up placing his hand on the table. As he tried to push himself up, the table flipped, spilling their meals all over the two of them. Stunned, and at a loss for words, the two just looked at eachother.

"Waiter!" Velvet yelled.

The colt from before came slinking out from behind the reception desk. He hesitantly locked eyes with Velvet, who was practically pinning him to the floor with the daggers she was glaring at him.

"Is this some kind of joke?!” she shouted, foodstuff being flung as she shot out her hoof. “I've been coming here for over a decade and this is the state of repair you allow this place to be in?! I should report you to the Celestial Canterlot Cleanliness Bureau! You've obviously paid off somepony to look the other way! I wouldn't be surprised to see an infestation." Velvet yelled, scolding the wide-eyed colt. "Parasprites! Twittermytes! And in my soup, no less!"

Panic setting in, the cold waved his hooves frantically. "Okay! Okay! Calm down!" he waved frantically, "I'll get you another seat. Just don't go that far! Please! We're almost shut down as it is!"

Velvet harrumphed, sticking her nose into the air like the high-society ponies she was used to being around.

"I should hope you do. I feel sorry for the cook. That poor pony's wonderful meal just got thrown onto this very expensive dress. Not to mention that my date has to have all his clothes hoof-made by the Minotaurs and shipped all the way here. Maybe I should just send you the cleaning bill."

The cold winced as if struck. "No, no! There's no need! Here," he darted over to a large table and pulled out a chair for both Anon and Velvet. He erged Velvet and a limping Anon to the restaurant's premium seating, "Your meals are on the hou--” Velvet gave him a stern glare. “I mean... on me."

"Good. Now, my friend and I need some space."

"Y-yes. Of course, miss." And with that, the colt bolted into the kitchen, where Anon and Velvet could clearly, if a bit muffled, hear the chef yelling at the waiter.

Velvet's features then softened, and she turned to look at her date. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry... hurting you like that."

"I'm fine, or, I will be. It's not your fault." Anon answered with a smile Beneath the table, however, his hands cradled his aching family jewels, every pulse from his blood sending fresh waves of pain through his tender baby batter factories.

"Well, now I feel obligated to do something for you; to help you feel better. Anything you want?" she offered, her smile as sweet as honey.

"A kiss," Anon blurted out.

A blush creeping onto her face, Velvet pulled back as she blanched. She then turned her head away, just far enough to look away from the human but so she could still see him. "You're quite bold. Taking advantage of my kindness and all," she teased half-heartedly.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, I've been dying to know how your lips feel." he admitted, smiling at her.

After fixing him a smirk, and receiving one in return, Velvet moved. Smooth as silk and with a confidence that Anon rarely saw in anyone, she closed the distance between them, sliding out of her chair and stepping over to Anon where they were then face to face. She was so close, he could feel her breath on his face, and--

"Ahem," the waiter interrupted, much to the unicorn and human’s annoyance.

Anon and Velvet's attentions snapped to the interrupter. Their features twisted into frightening scowls.

The colt, however, seemed bored and uncaring.

"Here's your meal," he announced.

Anon could only figure that this young pony just lost his job if he wasn't worried about Velvet's earlier threats.The look on the colt's face basically said, "I've given up and I don't care anymore."

"You ever hear of something called 'tact'? Or 'subtlety'?" Anon chided. "How about common decency?"

"Whatever,” the colt said with a shrug. “You and the milf enjoy your meal. I don't care anymore." he said pushing the platter of food between them and onto the table, then quickly went over to the reception booth and stared out the windowed doors.

Anon was just about to voice a comment when two loud drunks suddenly burst through the doors to the restaurant, carrying wine bottles in their hooves and sloshing the contents of those bottles all over the floor. The stallion looked at Velvet at, then waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Velvet reeled back and Anon stood up.

"We're leaving."

"Agreed." Velvet hopped out of her chair.

The two of them pushed passed the drunks, but not before the stallion took a very inappropriate whiff of Velvet, which she felt. She spun around to face him, tucking her tail between her legs. She slapped her hoof across his face, only for the drunk mare the stallion came in with to turn around and scream at Velvet.

"Hey! He'sh my date! Get your own! ...And what do you think you're doing slapping him!"

Straightening her posture, Velvet huffed. "Your pervert of a date just sniffed my tail! Why don't you raise your standards, hmm? Like, from millimeters to miles!"

"Go screw your pet there,” countered the mare, throwing a hoof up at Anon, then at her date “I've got 'standards' in spades with this one."

Velvet laughed. "Ha! Yeah, sure, 'cause this pervert's got an ego to counter his micro-penis!"

That retort seemed to anger the mare. "And how would you know, whorse!"

"Because I dated him, nag!” shouted Velvet. “I left him for every reason I can think of! Pervert, micro-penis, filly chaser, boose hound! Should I go on?"

Velvet and the drunk mare went on, but off to the side, Anon had been having a very different confrontation.

"The fuck is wrong with you!" Anon shouted at the drunk. His fists were clenched, and his knuckles had turned white. He didn't know where he got the strength to hold back from just reaching out and grabbing the stallion's mane and pummeling him into the wood floor, but it was that barrier that kept him in place, if only by a hair.

"Hey, dud,” the stallion slurred. “You shouldn't have a fine mare like her. She could do better than some weird animal like you. She could be with me! Oh, how I'd screw her into the grou--" The stallion's words were lost, as Anon fist made perfect contact with his snout.

Blood sprayed the floor and Anon's fist. The stallion swayed and recoiled, shocked that he'd been hit, and with that much force. Nopony'd ever stuck him, apparently.

Tears and embarrassment welled in the drunk's eyes, and he lunged for Anon. Anon grasped the stallion's mane and pushed it into the cobblestone as the stallion was forcefully redirected outside. The stallion tried to lunge at Anon again after staggering back up, but an indescribable pain shot up through Anon from his already tender groin. A hoof, the same pink color of the drunken mare, had stuck out from under him.

A split second later, Anon was gut-checked by the stallion, whose muzzle he smashed and was sent tumbling into the restaurant. The last thing Anon heard before the dark edges of his vision collapsed in on everything was Velvet swearing to cut both the drunks into a wall. After hearing her say that, it was then that he could imagine her as a street thug clad in leather and piercings.

And then, nothing. Everything was gone from him.

Author's Note

NEXT CHAPTER IS CLOP
You have been warned.

Also, many thanks to Enigmatic Otaku and ChappedPenguinLips for helping me edit this!