Sunset Shimmer Vs the DMV
Canterlot High
“You asked to see me, Principal Celestia?” Sunset Shimmer entered the office, followed closely by her friends.
“Yes I did.” Celestia spun around in her chair to face them, surprised as the small group entered her office . “But as I recall, I only asked for you.”
“Hey, if something’s up with Sunset, then we’ve got her back!” Rainbow Dash proclaimed, placing her hand on Sunset Shimmer’s shoulder as a sign of support. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“Only if you keep that attitude up, Ms. Dash,” Celestia replied sternly, wrapping her fingers together. “No the reason I called you down here, Sunset, is that this man would like to have a word with you.”
Out of the corner of the office stepped a well-dressed man wearing a very heavy looking suit with sunglasses and what looked like an earpiece in his left ear. He looked rather intimidating especially since he seemed to portray little outside of a very stern, stoic demeanor.
“This is Mr. Smith, and he’s from—” Celestia began, gesturing towards the suited man.
“He’s from the government, right?” Fluttershy asked inquisitively, a bit taken aback by the suited man.
“Yes, he’s from—” Celestia began again.
“OSHA?” Sunset interrupted. “Is he here to investigate how unsafe the Friendship Games track was?”
“No, he—” Celestia tried to continue, though now slightly more annoyed given Sunset’s remarks about the Friendship Games track.
“Is he from The Department of Homeland Security?” Applejack interjected. “Come here to see Sunset about all the massive magical energy that’s bein’ released around these parts?”
“No,” Celestia, now visibly frustrated, replied. “He-“
“Is he from UNIT, or SHIELD or the X-Files, come here to talk to Sunset about being a magical pony from another dimension and through a massive misunderstanding lead to a potential conflict between us and Equestria which then in turn would lead to a massive moral quandary in which we question what it truly means to be human?” Pinkie Pie said, with her trademark grin.
“NO!” Celestia rubbed the temples of her forehead, sighing as she did so.
“Ms. Shimmer, I’m from the Department of Motor Vehicles,” the man said, stepping forward. “I’m here to issue this citation to you.” He handed Sunset a few sheets of paper.
“We’ve gotten reports, partially from another school official at Crystal Prep, that during a school activity here at Canterlot High, that you were performing stunts on a motorcycle without a proper license. This is quite illegal, Ms. Shimmer. If you wish to continue to partake in these actions, please register to get your driver’s license. We’re open Tuesday through Saturday.”
The man walked over to the office entrance and pick up his hat and jacket from the coat rack. “There are instructions on how to complete the citation written on the back along with information on how to contact us if you have any questions. Have a good day,” he said, placing the jacket over himself as he left the office.
In the Hallway
“Well there’s two hundred bucks down the drain,” Sunset said, annoyed as she flipped over the pages of the citation.
“Yeah I feel so sorry the girl with the massive stockpile of gold is slightly inconvenienced by a traffic ticket,” Rainbow Dash butted in sarcastically, dribbling a soccer ball in her hands.
“You’re still not over that?” Applejack asked, nearly sighing in annoyance.
“Of course not,” Rainbow Dash retorted. “I mean she’s got enough there to live comfortably for a long time, while I know in ten years I’m going to be having a heck of a time trying to pay off a twelfth of what she has in college loans.” Rainbow bounced the soccer ball a set of lockers, venting a little.
“It’s not my fault Earth places so much value in gold,” Sunset said. “In Equestria, it’s relatively common. I can still share some with you.”
“No,” Applejack said apologetically. “We’ve been over this, it’s your money, ya don’t need to share it with us. Ah’m more curious about why you ain’t got your license?”
“Well it’s because we don’t have cars in Equestria,” Sunset said. “We walk pretty much everywhere or take train or zeppelin if we need to go someplace farther away. I mean the idea of a personal train that can go pretty much anywhere was so weird to me when I first arrived. And don’t get me started on bicycles. Those things still freak me out. I mean how do they stay up?”
“Well it’s because of a gyro—” Twilight Sparkle began.
“Not now, egghead,” Rainbow Dash injected, regaining her usual pep. “So what are you going to do about that?” She pointed at Sunset’s ticket.
“Pay it off of course,” Sunset said. “Last thing I need is some government agency looking over my shoulders.”
“Tell that to the NSA,” Applejack muttered to herself.
“Then I’ll probably go to this ‘Department of Motor Vehicles’ on Saturday and get my driver’s license,” Sunset concluded. “Anyone want to come?”
Everyone went bug-eyed.
“Um well Ah’d love to, Sunset,” Applejack said rather nervously, “but Ah got to file my taxes on, on my apple bushes, yeah that’s it, and Ah reckon that’ll take me all through the weekend! In fact Ah better start workin’ on them now!” Applejack beat a hasty retreat down the hallway and through another corridor out of sight.
“Yeah and I said I’d help her with trimming her bush and whatever,” Rainbow Dash said, sweating a little, making the same B-line.
“Does she realize what she said?” Fluttershy said.
“Give her a minute, darling,” Rarity replied nonchalantly.
Rainbow Dash’s head appeared around the corner. “And not like that you perverts!” She yelled.
“Well okay looks like those two are going to be busy,” Sunset chuckled to herself. “What about you guys?” Sunset turned to the rest of her friends.
“As much as I would just love to spend my weekend in a boring dingy room waiting in line for several hours on end,” Rarity sarcastically replied, “Pinkie Pie and I were planning on helping Fluttershy with another one of her animal shelter auctions.”
“Oh shoot I completely forgot about that,” Sunset said, slapping her forehead. “I’ll take care of this whole license thing next weekend.”
“No it’s okay, Sunset,” Fluttershy said calmly. “There’ll be other auctions later on you can help with and we’ll still be going on Sunday. This seems important so you probably should go do it, I mean since you have the time.”
“Oh okay,” Sunset replied. “If you’re fine with it.” Fluttershy reaffirmed her with a nod.
“And you, Twilight?” Sunset asked her bespectacled friend. “You want to come to the DMV with me?”
“Oh well I have a lot of school work to catch up on,” Twilight replied. “Sort of the problem with being a new transfer student, though it means I get to do a whole bunch of reading!” Twilight clapped her hands at the thought while giving a big smile.
‘Definity Twilight,’ Sunset thought to herself. “Yeah that’s fine, I guess I’ll go alone. I mean it’s just waiting in line.”
Everyone gave her a nervous glance. “What?” Sunset asked.
“Um well you know that one scene in Zootopia?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah,” Sunset replied. “Oh that was a good movie by the way, thanks for recommending it.”
“Oh no problem,” Fluttershy stated before getting back to the matter at hand. “But that scene was the DMV on a good day.”
“Please, I know exaggeration when I see it,” Sunset chortled. “I think you’re all making way too big a deal out of this.”
The Canterlot DMV Office
Sunset viewed the rather plain looking office space labeled DMV and entered the building. Inside there was a row of countertops on one side of the wall, though only about half of them appeared staffed. The majority of the room was covered in chairs lined up in several rows, though with enough space left out to allow several people to stand in line in front of the countertops. There also appeared to be a couple of small school like desks in the very back of the room. Next to Sunset was an ATM looking machine with a touch pad and a list of several options on its display screen. There was a note above it directing people entering how to operate it.
After finding the appropriate topic that covered her situation the best, Sunset took the ticket that was dispensed from the machine and moved towards the seating section.
“D57,” Sunset said to herself, eyeing what the ticket read. She looked up and saw a sign above the countertops that read D52. “Oh okay, so I’ve got about another five more, that’s not too bad.” Sunset took a seat.
Waiting patiently, she noticed one of the people in line file out from the counter and leave. The sign number changed. It now read N28.
“Wait what?” Sunset said, rather confused by this turn of events. “That makes no sense, why would it go from D to N?”
“Oh wait a minute,” she said thinking to herself, looking over the lines. “Each counter probably only handles a certain issue and so they just call up the next person on whatever line is free. Okay that’s a bit annoying but still shouldn’t be that long.”
After a good forty five minute wait, in which the sign seemed to go through an awful lot of any letter except D, Sunset finally made her way to the counter.
“Hi there,” Sunset said the receptionist, who was looking extremely apathetic, as if worn down by either some event, time or both. “I’d like to get my driver’s license.”
“Have you filled out requisite form A96 and F73?” the receptionist said, chewing some gum, in a tone of condensing monotone.
“Umm, no,” Sunset said, abashed. “I didn’t know I had to fill those out.”
The receptionist reached into her desk and pulled out several forms and a clipboard with a pen.
“Please fill these forms out and then grab another ticket once complete,” the receptionist replied dully.
“Okay,” Sunset said and returned to her seat.
After filling out the forms and waiting another hour, she finally made it back up to the same desk.
“Here you go,” Sunset said cheerfully, attempting to brighten the receptionist mode, handing her back the clipboard. “I got those forms all filled out, can I get my license now?”
“Did you take the mandatory road safety test or have a valid credential from a driving academy allowing you an exception for said safety test?” the receptionist asked, in the same monotone as before.
“Um no,” Sunset said, sighing, trying to explain the situation. “Listen, I’ve been driving for some time, I just need to get my license and-”
“The test is mandatory,” the receptionist stated. “Please grab another ticket and you’ll be given the test in due time.”
“Fine,” Sunset said, rubbing her forehead as she grabbed another ticket.
Sunset waited another half hour and was then led back to one of the desks in the back of the office and given several stacks of paper and some writing utensils that made up the written test. Most of it was extremely easy, mostly common sense questions, like how do you stop and what is right of way and what is the four second following rule and so on. The problem was that there were over 250 questions and it took her a good ninety minutes to fill out the scantron.
“Okay filled out this stupid test,” Sunset said, her patience wearing thin, her anger and annoyance mixing together. “Can I please, PLEASE, just get my license now?”
“Have you completed the mandatory live instructor test or have an exemption from an authorized driving school academy?” the receptionist asked, still as unfazed and bored as ever.
“What,” Sunset said, confused and annoyed at yet another level of red tape that was now surrounding all around her. “No,” She replied bluntly.
“Then please grab another ticket and wait for the instructor to arrive and complete your test.”
“And how long will that be!?” Sunset yelled, visibly frustrated.
“Time varies based on customer activity, supervisor availability and travel time,” the receptionist said like a broken record of a tax seminar as read by Ben Stein.
“ARGH!” Sunset vented and grabbed yet another ticket.
After waiting for another hour, Sunset finally got in the car and was tested on her driving abilities. She passed, though the instructor had dock a few points for apparently gripping the steering wheel too tightly and for being rather hasty on her acceleration and braking.
“Okay, here’s my driving test,” Sunset said as she slammed the paperwork down in front of the same receptionist she had been dealing with all day. “Can I NOW get my license?”
“After we’ve taken your photo,” the receptionist said. “Please grab another ticket-“
“NO!” Sunset screamed, slamming both her hand on the counter. “I have been waiting here for Celestia knows how long. Do you know what I can do? What I’ve been through? I’ve had to face sea creatures that wanted to take over the world, fight the alternative dimensional version of one of my best friends! I WENT SUPER SANDWICH, or whatever Rainbow Dash calls it, and made time and space bend to my will! I'm getting my license NOW!”
“If you are acting hostile or aggressive, you will be forcefully removed from the premise,” the receptionist said, unfazed as ever. “Any and all paperwork filled out will be discarded as well.”
“Wait what!?” Sunset said, taken aback by both the receptionist response and absolute lack of emotion at her outburst..
“If you are acting hostile or aggressive, you will be forcefully removed from the premise. Any and all paperwork filled out will be discarded as well,” the receptionist repeated. “Please take a ticket and you will be serviced in a timely manner.”
Sunset just started at the receptionist for a good minute before sighing and hitting her head on the counter.
Canterlot High
The following Monday
“And then what happened?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I did the only thing I could,” Sunset replied. “I got another ticket and waited AGAIN.”
“Frustratin’ wasn’t it, Sugarcube?” Applejack said, cheekily.
“More like maddening,” Sunset said, chuckling a little. “Part of me wanted to race back to Equestria, grab the Element of Magic and just brainwash everyone again. It was that bad.”
Sunset smiled. “But it was all worth it, I finally got my license!”
“Oh can I see?” Pinkie Pie asked energetically.
“Yeah me too!” Rainbow Dash interjected, curious to see the newly acquired piece of plastic.
“I wouldn’t mind taking a peek either, dear,” Rarity added in.
“Okay, hold on, let me get it out,” Sunset said as she reached for her wallet and pulled out her newly acquired license. “Here you go.” She proudly hand over the card to her friends.
The others stared at it for a few minutes.
“Pffft,” Rainbow Dash said, trying to hide her laughter.
“What’s the matter with it?” Sunset asked.
“Sunset, you look like you’re high,” Rainbow Dash snickered, handing the ID back.
Sunset took the ID and looked at the photo.
Sunset facepalmed.
End
Author's Note
If there is one universal constant in every universe, it's that the DMV is the worst.
So yeah just a neat little Sunset fic, not much else. The idea of Sunset having a gold surplus is from my previous fic Welcome to my House.
Thanks again to Dying for Riley and PixelReality for editing and to 0ndshok for permission on the cover art.
Constructive criticism welcome as always.
