A pessimist (or a realist) in Equestria

James awoke, his blurry eyes adjusting to the bright outside, wait... outside? wasn't he in his room... he sat up and rubbed his eyes, observing his surroundings, and yawned.

he was in a forest, a very pretty forest. Birds chirping, pretty fluffy clouds dotted the sky, flowers in bloom, it was pretty, by Utah's standards. he sat up with grass stains covering his shirt and jeans, "ugh more laundry" he thought. thinking he just had to much to drink and blacked out, he picked a direction and started to walk it.

eventually, he came to a rustic town, with old fashioned houses, like from the dark ages. the streets were empty so he kept on walking, until he got to the entrance of the town,

a door opened, and a person came out

and when i use the term "person", i use it lightly

what ever it was, it had a pink poofy mane, a weird butt tattoo of 3 balloons, and was hopping and humming. James, (seemingly unfazed by this) stopped, and thought for a second "what the fuck did i take? LSD? Acid? LSD and Acid?" but it wasn't long before the "it" noticed him, and started hopping over. "HI!WHATISYOURNAMEMYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIDONTKNOWYOUBUTIKNOWANYONEANDEVERYONEANDYOUDONTLOOKLIKEAPONY..." AND SHE KEPT FUCKING TALKING.

James covered his ears, but could still hear it! getting tired of this shit, he reached out, wrapped his hands around her muzzle and shut it. he leaned in and whispered:

"SHUT"

"THE"

"fuckup"

tears began spilling out of her eyes. no shits given.