A pessimist (or a realist) in Equestria

by 4CHANhero

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Human
Length: 885

A guy named James brings a large does of reality to Equestria….

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-26 03:39:09 UTC

Chapter... ah who cares

James awoke, his blurry eyes adjusting to the bright outside, wait... outside? wasn't he in his room... he sat up and rubbed his eyes, observing his surroundings, and yawned.

he was in a forest, a very pretty forest. Birds chirping, pretty fluffy clouds dotted the sky, flowers in bloom, it was pretty, by Utah's standards. he sat up with grass stains covering his shirt and jeans, "ugh more laundry" he thought. thinking he just had to much to drink and blacked out, he picked a direction and started to walk it.

eventually, he came to a rustic town, with old fashioned houses, like from the dark ages. the streets were empty so he kept on walking, until he got to the entrance of the town,

a door opened, and a person came out

and when i use the term "person", i use it lightly

what ever it was, it had a pink poofy mane, a weird butt tattoo of 3 balloons, and was hopping and humming. James, (seemingly unfazed by this) stopped, and thought for a second "what the fuck did i take? LSD? Acid? LSD and Acid?" but it wasn't long before the "it" noticed him, and started hopping over. "HI!WHATISYOURNAMEMYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIDONTKNOWYOUBUTIKNOWANYONEANDEVERYONEANDYOUDONTLOOKLIKEAPONY..." AND SHE KEPT FUCKING TALKING.

James covered his ears, but could still hear it! getting tired of this shit, he reached out, wrapped his hands around her muzzle and shut it. he leaned in and whispered:

"SHUT"

"THE"

"fuckup"

tears began spilling out of her eyes. no shits given.

Chapter... wait, why do i care?

James let go of the pink things face. She was still crying, and was now bawling, her eyes launching waterfalls of tears, her originally poofy "hair" had deflated. w-w-w-why..." he cut her off, "i don't know who you are, i don't know what you are, and i don't know where i am, so if you wont give me useful information, then SHUT the fuck UP". Her hair immediately popped back up. "INFORMATION? then how about the library? are librarian can help, she knows a lot and has spike the dragon and an owl" his mind was racing to understand, a fucking Dragon? "alright, take me to this twilight, by the way, what are you?" she gave James a look like he was dumb. " a little pony, DUH, silly, ".

aw fuck,

it all made sense now, he was stuck IN MLP

he fucking hated that show so much, and being stuck in such a world made him want to hang himself, the amount of fake that was poured into that show was unbelievable, "friendship is magic" , and shit like that, he hated it on the verge of being an anti-brony, and the fandom, ugh. but he HAD to find a way out of this god-damn forsaken hell hole.

*sigh*

oh well

batting her question aside, "sure, take me to this library" he said through gritted teeth. couple minutes later of the pink ones rambling, he arrived at a literal tree house.

the door opened and James crouched in. "hi twilight" said pinkie hopping in; "hi pinkie, what do you-" she turned around and saw James,

she almost shat herself in surprise

James wore a look of disgust, at 6 ft, he had Short black air, green eyes, Jeans, and a white shirt. he was also very fit for a 26 year old. so, before going on with the story, here is a short story on James life:

he grew up in California, he was an orphan, and lived in an orphanage until he could move out, and joined the army, he had no family or friends. he was still normal on the surface,but was depressed often.

Twilight, nor pinkie, nor the rest of equestria, nor anyone else knew his struggles, the horror he had seen, his friends in the army had been tortured, and then proceeded to die before his eyes. his family never existed, he never had any friend that lasted longer than the ones in the army who had died.

this thought pissed him off, but, he had to make "friends" to get out of Equestria. "Who...what, are you?" said Twilight, he sighed. "i am a human, or a homo-sapiens, and my name is James" he said irritated, he just wanted to get out of there. "ok listen, i don't know why i am here, i just want to get back, to earth" said James, still irritated. Twilight still had a confused look on her face, while pinkie sat in the computer talking to what was presumably spike. "listen, James, i don't know how to help you, but the others should meet you! maybe that will help a little...?" she said. James face palmed, a little sad, a little annoyed, "*sigh* i don't give a DAMN about the others, i don't even care if i go home, just give me a home on the edge of town so i don't have to deal with you little...." James didn't finish, realizing he had gone a bit to far. Twilight had recoiled at James outburst. no shits given, James stood up, and walked out, back towards the forest. except now the streets were full, oh well, he just kicked and shoved his way through crowds. until he entered the forest.