Friggen' Saturday for Anon

by Y-T-Mellon

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Human, Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person
Length: 2465

Applejack will get payback for the Monday that Anon gave her. Her plan, is set in motion when she knocked on his door.

On Monday, Applejack was hit by many things, but now, it's Saturday and she will get her revenge. Will Applejack fail miserably or will she prevail? Well, maybe Derpy and Pinkie could help with that question, they do have a bet against each other! Applejack can only pray to Celestia that her revenge goes smoothly!

Published 2016-04-13 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-02 01:15:20 UTC

Saturday's the Day of Revenge!

You exhale deeply, putting down a bucket of apples to end today's work! You smile widely in accomplishment by getting an achievement of getting over four hundred buckets of apples! You sit down inside the barn, taking in all the glory. The sweet smell of wood dust reminds you of home, and the wooden arches at the ceiling make you feel at home as well. Hay was almost everywhere, but the buckets of apples were stacked at the back. You're attention's snapped to the door when your boss trots in.

"Well Anon, your work today is so magnificent, I've been plannin' a little something for ya!" She said.

"Boss, did you wait beside the door for the past six hours for me to stop?" You ask. Applejack stares at you smiling, but not answering your question.

"What's important right now is that tomorrow is a company dinner in celebration for how many apples we sold!" She said, as you just stare blankly.

"Boss, tomorrow, Big Mac is going out of town and Granny Smith is taking an all day nap. I guess it's a company dinner if Applebloom's coming, but still," you reasoned. Applejack ignores you as she pushes you out of the barn, slamming the door shut when you're out. You stood outside the barn, staring into the sun wondering what Applejack is planning. You shrug it off and walk down the road to your house.

As you step into your home, you see derpy smiling like a silly girl. "You seem happy," you said smiling a little. She nods in response.

"Me and Pinkie made a bet today!" She said. You sigh. Great, a bet. "Also, I am just so excited that you're my new roommate!" She continues. You smiled weakly. Derpy had a bit of an accident at her house. One thing you knew about it was that her home insurance loves her to death. Almost literally. Dinky had to be at Scootaloo's house. You knew where she lived, but you still worried.

It's a new Saturday and you breathe in the nice air. The nice fresh air. The exact air you don't get to breathe in the company dinner tonight. You woke Derpy up and let her know that you are off to work. As you slowly walk to work, you look at the sky. It's supposed to be a nice sunny day. Perfect for a company dinner. Now that you think about it, it sounds fishy. Really fishy. You look down in time to dodge Applejack, carrying a bushel of apples.

"Mornin' Anon, I just can't wait for that dinner tonight!" She said. You gave her a raised eyebrow. You know you're boss well enough to know she's up to something. You don't know what it is, but she is up to something.

It's a Saturday and Applejack is tapping her hoof impatiently. She wonders why revenge is so slow, especially now! She stops when she sees you walking up. Along with Derpy.

"Hi Anon, why did you bring Derpy?" She asks. You give her a raised eyebrow.

"I'll tell you once you tell me why Pinkie's beside you," you said. She shrugs and you chuckle. You step inside the restaurant, and smell the air. It was a four-start restaurant by the smell of it. You were certain. You and Applejack sit in a booth corner as Applebloom, Derpy, and Pinkie went off to another table. You felt something squishy as you sit down, and looked at what it was. It was a squeaky toy, which would go off loudly if you sat down.

"Waiter!" You call. The waiter comes up, takes the toy and returns to a different table. You see Pinkie face palm in the corner of your eye, and chuckled. Applejack looks like she's gritting her teeth. "Is something wrong?" You ask. She shakes her head. You take up your menu, and look at the contents listed. Everything is grass. You feel deja vu for some reason and look around it for a beverage. "I love this menu!" You said. Applejack's eye twitched. You shrug it off, "I can actually find what I can drink when I look at it!" You continue. Applejack couldn't help but giggle. You found that extremely weird considering you never heard her giggle before.

Derpy watches as you and Applejack start making a conversation. Pinkie trots up with Applebloom. "I think they're hitting it off," Derpy said. Pinkie sighs, but Applebloom looks at them in confusion.

"What? My sister and Mr Anon?" Applebloom asks. Derpy nods.

"Yeah, we betted against each other whether or not they would get together," Pinkie said, using binoculars to watch you and AJ. Applebloom smiles.

"I think they'd be a good pair, my sister likes him anyway," Applebloom said. "But, I've been around Anon long enough to know he'll either mess this up or do it with flying colors," she continued. Pinkie looks at her with surprise, but Derpy doesn't seem to notice.

You notice a waiter coming by and wanted to wave him over, but when you raised your hand, it slaps a tray of drinks out of another waiter's telekinetic grip. The liquid flies through the air, and lands of a mare with a lot of hair. The made screams out of surprise and her drink flies out of her hoof. The liquid was either whiskey or wine, because as soon as it landed in a first cocktail, the flames burned extremely bright. The heat surprised the waitress and she accidentally threw it with her telekinesis. The fire ball sails through the air, and hits the chandelier. The rope hanging the chandelier snaps and falls directly above your table. Out of a quick reflex, you dive out of your seat, crash into Applejack, pulling you down with her, and saved yourselves as the chandelier slams into the table. Derpy just stares with surprise, Pinkie's jaw literally drops to the floor, and Applebloom has no expression whatsoever.

"Aww, Anon rubbed off on me," Derpy says, smiling.

You and Applejack sighed in unision as you both walk out the restaurant. Applebloom walks up with a puzzled face. "What just happened in there?" She asked. You shrug. Applejack then bursts out into laughter.

"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!" She says between laughter. Pinkie nods giggling. Derpy chuckles.

"What's so funny? I've pretty much made a huge amount of money jump out of your wallet!" You said stressfully. Applejack shakes her head, still trying to stop laughing. She waves bye at you as she leaves with Applebloom. You stood there, waving bye back. You heard yelling and looked at the closed place. A stallion walks out the restaurant, looking thoroughly ticked off. He looks at you with fire literally in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea how much this will cost!?" He yells at you in a French accent. "You destroyed over three thousand bits worth of property! You better have a big pocket if you think you will pay for this!" He continued. You look down in shame.

"I'm sorry sir," you said sincerely.

"Sorry will not cover it! Wait, I recognize you, you're that human that works for Applejack aren't you?" He asked. You nodded. "Well, if you tell her anything about this, I will send my stallions after you!" You scoff. The stallions heared it and growled. "Don't think I'm threatening do you? Custardo! Toast! Get out here!" He yells. Two buff earth ponies walk out, and growled when they see me. The manager nods towards me, and the stallions ganged up on me, smiling menacingly.

It's Tuesday, and your boss, Applejack, is up to an early start. She yawns walking out, and starts working on gathering apples. When three hours roll by, she notices that you haven't shown up yet. She looks at the clock worriedly and trots down the dirt road. When she saw Pinkie trotting to Fluttershy's cottage, she stopped her pink cousin. "Excuse me Pinkie, have you seen where Anon is?" She asked. Pinkie shook her head.

"I dunno, have you looked at his house yet?" She asked. AJ shook her head and trots into town. Knocking on the taped door to your house beside the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres, she hears you groan. When you open the door, Applejack gasps at seeing a severely bruised human with what looks like a bleeding nose to top it off.

"Anon! What in Tarnation's happened to you?!" She asked. You stood in silence for a few moments, pondering what your excuse should be.

"... Slipped," you said, obviously bullcrapping your little lesson from the manager of the restaurant last night. Applejack raises an eyebrow at the excuse. "... I slipped on the top of the Mane Hall stairs," you finished. Applejack grew a concerned look.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I slipped on top of the Mane Hall's stairs. Nothing else happened," you lied. Applejack puts a hoof on your shoulder.

"Please tell me Anon, I know the bruises you got came from somepony, Big Mac had a tumble or two when he was a colt," she said. You shook your head.

"It was the stairs, I remember seeing step after step," you said.

"Why were you at Manehall?" She asked.

"... Dammit," you said. You sighed and told her about what happened last night. Applejack huffs angrily.

"I'm gonna teach those rascals," she said, thoroughly ticked. It was a good thing you didn't mention that they robbed you too. As if luck slapped you in the face, Applejack looks around. "Where's your couch?" She asks. Shoot.

"I sold it," you said. Applejack gives a look that made you flinch.

"When?" She asked.

"Yesterday," you replied. Derpy walks in.

"Hey what happened to the couch?" She asked as soon as she looks at the empty space. Applejack glares at you.

"Did that moron steal stuff from you!?" She yelled. You nodded slowly. She huffs very loudly.

"Take a breathe," you said. She gave you a shut the hell up look. "I want to resolve this peacefully, I'm only your employee after all," you finished. Applejack gives you a bewildered look.

"That doesn't make a lick of sense! You're my favorite employee!" She exclaimed.

"I'm your only-" you were cutted off by Applejack putting a hoof in your mouth.

"You are my favorite employee, period," she said. "But, I'll do it your way and do it peacefully," she finished. Derpy looks around wondering what the heck is going on.

You sighed as you just sat outside the manager's office hearing muttering, murmuring, and whispering. You knew that Applejack was never good at talking stuff out. No matter how right she was, no one actually listens to her sometimes. She comes out of the office, a satisfied look on her face. You shook your head. "For some reason, I feel like I just told my mom someone bullied me," you said. Applejack slaps you on the back chuckling as you winced from the slap itself.

"Well Anon, if you ever get threatened again, you better tell me," she said. You sighed and nodded.

"Well, I guess I'll tell you next time," you said. Applejack nods, smiling. You lean over, a small smile on your face. "By the way, I accomplished my plan," You said chuckling lightly. You hugged your boss, smiling as wide as an idiot. You then kissed her lips quickly before running off to Sweet Apple Acres, leaving Applejack stunned as she wondered to herself whether or not that actually happened. She smiles to herself. "That friggen' rascal is clever," she said, realizing what your plan was from the start. After seeing many of your plans, she figured out what your goal was.

You knew about Applejack's plan of revenge, and told Derpy to tip archers to make the impossible scene at the resturaunt. The manager knew as well, and was tipped to make an extra table and chandelier, and you had told him to say those things last night just in case Applejack was still listening, better safe than sorry. The bruises were from make up, explaining why it took you more time than usual to get to work. The blood was from ketchup. You really did sell your couch to somepony. Applejack was gonna give you a raise and the couch you used to have broke, and it made your plan even more 'iron casted' in your words. It would give you the full on opportunity to give Applejack a kiss once she helped your 'problem'. Applejack does of course realize this was way too much trouble for one kiss. In a way, it was romantic, especially since he had very well prepared it, and it worked. What she could not figure out was how was it that you made the first move.

Pinkie sighs as Derpy is smiling in full on happiness. "I won!" Derpy said. "Told you Anon would make the first move!" She continued. Pinkie forks over ten bits, slightly grumbling.

"Those of you reading at home, you better like those story!" Pinkie says. Derpy looks around.

"Who are you talking to?" She asks.

Glitchy 3d1L0gUe (epilogue)

In Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie sighs, putting down the newspaper, looking at the person reading this story. "Guys, the story's over, there's no actual epilogue, go buy toy or go to a party or something..." A man named Yellowtail walks in.

"Hey Pinkie, did you know I finished a story the other day?" He asked.

"Yeah, the viewer won't leave," Pinkie replies. Yellowtail groans.

"Guys, the story's over, go home!" He said.

"Um, they already are," Pinkie said, flipping a page in her newspaper.

"I know! Let's make an epilogue with you in it!" Yellowtail said.

"Um, Yellow," Pinkie gestures around her with her hoof.

"Oh yeah, um, I dunno, song time?" He asks.

"Eh, sure why not?" Pinkie said. She pulls on a fedora. "So, Michael Jackson or the real Slim Shadey?" She asked.

"I dunno, let's go with good ol' Mikey! Shame he had to die so young. I think only Kesha would have warned him," Yellowtail said.

"Don't go breaking the fifth wall now, it's bad enough we've broke four," Pinkie said, exasperately. Oops, maybe this one was a mistake, I dunno, oh crap I'm supposed to be narrating, um, Pinkie starts playing the drums of the- well, drums! Yellowtail starts singing and everyone dies, the end, now I can go home, my room mate Jerry's making burritos tonight!

Author's Note

Don't blame me okay! I forgot to put complete and I thought people would be upset that I just put complete for no reason! WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:raritydespair: I feel even worse that I used a Rarimogi!!! :raritycry: