Starlight was nervous to say the least. Here she was, at Sunburst’s door, Spike telling her the fate of Equestria was in the balance or something if she didn't make up with him. The last time she had seen Sunburst he had abandoned her for Magic School and never even thought to contact her, so she decided that was enough to start a cult and take everyponies cutie mark just because her friend didn't think to write a bucking letter or something.
“Do I have to?” She asked Spike,
“Go on, Twilight’s counting on you!” Spike urged her on so she took a deep breath, straightened her mane and knocked on the door.
Three sharp bangs on the door, the noises echoing through Starlight’s head like gunshots. Only they are ponies, so they don't know what guns are or what gunshots sound like.
There was no reply, no one came to answer the door.
“Well-” Starlight started to say before the door creaked open and the pony inside poked his muzzle outside.
“Sunburst! Umm, hi! It's me, Starlight,” She said, hoping to see some sort of recognition in her former friend’s face.
“Oh, er, hello Starlight, um, yes, hello,” Sunburst stuttered out, confused.
“Remember, we used to be friends!” She really hoped he’d remember her now.
“Ah yes, Starlight. What brings you here?” he replied,
“Oh I didn't want to waste your time, you're probably a powerful wizard, I just wanted to- I, you know what, Buck it. I'm now the student to Princess Twilight Sparkle and she wants me to become friends with you again even though I’d rather be down the pub learning about friendship over a pint or something because you're probably way to busy since you're a wizard!!” Starlight wished she could be anywhere but there now.
Sunburst looked extremely confused, “I'm a what?” He asked,
“You're a wizard,” Starlight repeated herself,
“I'm a wizard?!” He exclaimed, shocked,
“Yes, Sunburst, you're a wizard,” Starlight confirmed.
“But I'm just Sunburst,” he protested
“Well, Just Sunburst, you're a wizard!” She tried to convince him,
“But I'm just Sunburst!” Sunburst said, getting slightly annoyed at his former friend.
“No, Just Sunburst, you are a wizard,” Starlight reiterated herself once more.
“Listen here, Starlight, I'm just Sunburst!” He started to get cross,
“NO! Sunburst, you are a wizard!” Starlight yelled the ‘no’, she was getting pissed off at Sunburst now.
“I'm not a wizard, Starlight, I'm just Sunburst!” Sunburst hated repeating himself, especially about something as stupid as this.
“Listen Sunburst, you're a wizard,” the argument continued on, neither Starlight on Sunburst looked like they were going to back down from it.
“No Starlight, I'm just Sunburst!”
“Sunburst, for Discord’s sake, you're a wizard!” Starlight was cross with Sunburst now. He was a wizard!
“A WIZARD, I’m just Sunburst!”
The argument continued like that for a while. Spike was sitting atop a throne of books, smoking a spliff he had lit himself with his fire, watching the chaos unfold.
“Listen here Starlight you fat gryphon! I'm not a bucking wizard!” Sunburst brought out the insults.
“Daaammmmnnn, he went there,” Spike commented.
“For Discord’s sake Sunburst, what’s with this language? You're a bucking wizard!” She yelled at him, flinging her hoofs around to get her point across to him.
“I don't give a buck you fat hairy Diamond Dog, I'm not a bucking wizard!” He yelled back, still protesting.
“Listen Sunburst, you’ve gone to Magic School, you did spells and straw! You were bucking pleased about it!” Starlight wanted to punch him.
“I didn't want to do the bucking spells you BASKET CASE! Stick it up your bucking dick-hole!” He shouted at her, luckily they had gone inside so the innocent Crystal Ponies would not have to hear them.
“My bucking WHAT?” Starlight was suddenly glad that he’d left her now!
“Starlight, yer pushin’ me over the line!” Sunburst calmed down a tad,
“No I'm not, you are a wizard. You went to Magic School, you did spells, you had a wand, you probably had a bucking dragon, it delivered your mail. Deal with it, ya Changeling!” Starlight said, exasperated,
“I'm going to bucking stick mah dick in yer dragon!” Sunburst shouted. Spike suddenly feared for his life and his draconic innocence.
“I almost did that too, but I knew it was a bad move,” Starlight admitted, “ you are a wizard.”
“… I'm a what?” Sunburst asked, he had completely forgotten what they were talking about,
“YOU’RE A WIZARD, SUNBURST, FOR BUCK’S SAKE, LISTEN TO ME!” Starlight roared at him!
“Starlight, I’ve been through this, I don’t give a bloody Buck what you think!” Sunburst declared,
“This is not negotiable,” Starlight claimed, “you come with me!”
“I’LL BUCKING SET YOUR MANE ON FIRE!” Sunburst threatened,
“C’MON THEN YOU STUPID BUCK-UP, SQUARE GO LIKE!” Starlight challenged,
“I’LL BUCKING BUST YE’” Sunburst threatened once again,
“Right you, you little tosser, if you don't get your act together, I’ll drag you back to magic school. You’ll get a wand, you’ll get a dragon, it’ll deliver your pointless mail and that’ll be that and you’ll enjoy it ya, ch-sch-ch- Changeling, Starlight could barely get that last insult out.
“I’ll bucking naw yer foreleg off!”
“Get near my foreleg and I’ll slap you across the face like a little Yak,” Starlight glared at him,
“I’ll magic ya silly!” Sunburst spat out!
“C’MON THEN YA GRYPHON!” Starlight was ready to fight him. So much for becoming friends again.
“Eat my ass, ya chubby Yak!” Sunburst said,
“I’LL RUPTURE YOUR EYEBALLS WITH MAH MASSIVE HORN!” Starlight yelled.
“I’LL RIP YOUR GIANT HORN OFF AND BASH YA ACROSS THE JAW WITH IT!” Sunburst shouted, eyes narrowed at Starlight.
“LETS GO RIGHT NOW, BRING IT ON YOU LITTLE YAK!”
As Spike watched the two former friends battle it out, he wondered how the Buck he gotten into this situation, here he was, smoking a spliff and wearing dank sunglasses that Rarity had gotten him viewing two ponies doing incredibly painful and somewhat sexual things to each other.
“Twilight’s gonna be pissed!” He realised.
Author's Note
Parody of 'You're a Wizard Harry' by ragingfilms of YouTube.
This is what stuck in my head from the Season Six premier.
Have a good day/night
MichaelTheBoss.
