Sunset Shimmer is MAD about EVERYTHING

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Sex, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 91934

Sunset Shimmer, practitioner of friendship, twice savior of Canterlot High, alicorn. She's offered to help Twilight's new student as the whole group travels to the Crystal Empire for a Crystalling. Should be a relaxing, stress free trip. Right?

Sunset Shimmer, twice savior of Canterlot High who earned her wings by using the combined magic of the Earth elements of harmony to save the world from Twilight Sparkle (you know... the one with the glasses). She's offered to help Twilight's (you know.. the alicorn Princess of Friendship) new student learn about friendship while the whole crew embarks on a trip to the Crystal Empire. This should be a fairly relaxing and stress free trip. Right? RIGHT?!

It should go without saying, but MAJOR spoilers to the season 6 premier.

Sunset vector by mighty355. Other cover art stuff by Novel Idea!

Published 2016-03-29 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-08 06:01:32 UTC

Chapter 2: The Magic of Pot...tery

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: And on This Touching Chapter…

Chapter 3: And on This Touching Chapter…

Starlight Glimmer trotted down a hallway of Twilight’s castle once more. Sunset Shimmer followed close behind her, watching as Starlight trotted right past an open room where Twilight busily scrutinized two sheets of brown parchment from two separate stacks. Sunset stopped and raised a forehoof to her mouth, clearing her throat.

Starlight stopped and turned.

Sunset motioned towards the open door with her eyes and head.

Giving Sunset an embarrassed smile, Starlight trotted towards the room containing Twilight. Sunset followed.

“Hey Twilight,” Starlight said as she sheepishly entered the room, “can I ask you something about the Crystal Empire?”

“Huh! Funny you should mention it,” Twilight said as she pulled three pieces of parchment from the stacks and trotted over to Starlight and Sunset. “Because I just narrowed your first friendship lesson down to three options, and one of them is in the Crystal Empire!” Twilight said as she turned all three pieces of parchment to face Starlight.

“Really?” Starlight said excitedly.

Sunset peered over Starlight’s shoulder, quickly glancing at the options before Twilight neatly collected them in front of herself. “I found out that's where the first pony you ever cared about lives!”

“Sunburst?” Starlight asked. In the course of a second, her excited expression wilted on the vine.

“Who’s Sunburst?” Sunset asked.

“Oh… we were friends back when we were both foals,” Starlight answered.

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “The first pony you ever cared about was a childhood friend? Geez, I guess take that your parents.”

Twilight and Starlight winced.

“What…” Sunset said as she looked between the two mares. “What did I…” Realization hit Sunset like a pair of shooting stars crashing directly into her. “Oh… Oh… I’m so… I’m so sorry… I didn’t…”

Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Doncha feel like a heel now.”

Tears began to pool at the bottom of Sunset’s turquoise eyes as she stared directly at Starlight with a sad look, a mixture of sympathy and pleading. Her lower lip began to quiver as she puffed it out.

“Sunset…?” Starlight said. “It’s… it’s okay, really… you didn’t…”

“It’s NOT okay!” Sunset choked out as her chest began to heave up and down. “You… me… I mean…sniff… Starlight I’m so, so sorry!”

“Sunset?” Twilight asked as she stared in concern at the orange mare. “I mean, you sort of stepped onto a landmine there, but you apologized, so…”

Starlight’s amethyst eyes shot open wide as they became glassy. “You… you mean…?”

Choking back sobs, Sunset nodded her head up and down. “Eh-heh…” she said half-crying.

Tears shot out of Starlight’s eyes.

“Oh-okay…!” Twilight said as she looked between the two mares who were clearly barely keeping their emotions restrained. “Would… would somepony please tell me what’s going on?”

“Choke…Sob… STARLIGHT!” Sunset cried.

“Sniff… SUNSET!” Starlight shouted.

The two mares suddenly embraced, burying their faces in each other manes as soul reverberating wails wracked them both.

“SERIOUSLY!” Twilight exclaimed. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!”

-o~Five minutes of hysterical mare crying later~0-

Sunset did her best to cut off her crying and choke out a sentence as she continued to hold Starlight and sob openly into the unicorns purple/light purple/light blue-striped mane, “…HOUAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAA-And-sniff-AND… I was just SO lonely! ALL THE TIME! WHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAA!”

Starlight bit at her lower lip, tears still pouring out of her eyes and into Sunset’s damp mane as she held onto the alicorn tightly. “KNOOOOOOOOWWOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAA…!”

“..HOUAAAAAAAA…There was NOPONY!” Sunset cried. “NOPONY AT ALL! WHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAA…!”

“I KNOOOOWWWOOOOHHHWWWWWOOOHHHHWWWWOUAAAAAAAAA…!”

“NO REALLY!” Twilight shouted above the crying. “I REALLY HOPE I’M NOT BEING INSENSITIVE RIGHT NOW, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU TWO ARE TALKING ABOUT OR WHY YOU WON’T STOP CRYING!”

Sunset and Starlight closed their mouths and started breathing heavily through their noses. Their chests still heaving, they raised their heads as the waterfall of tears each mare sported slowed to a trickle. Slowly, they detached from one another and turned to look at Twilight.

Sunset began wiping at her cheeks and face with the backside of her forehoof. “I’m… I’m sorry Twilight… but… I don’t think you’d understand.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes in frustration at Sunset then turned to Starlight.

Starlight looked at Sunset and nodded her head up and down. “Uh-huh…” she uttered.

Twilight grit her teeth as she looked back and forth between the two mares in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she brought a forehoof up to her chest and exhaled, extending the hoof. “Okay… Nevermind, if you two are okay…”

“We’ll manage,” Sunset said as she turned towards Starlight. “Right?”

Starlight gave Sunset a small smile and nodded. “Right.”

Twilight shifted the parchment in front of her and looked at new one. “Well… erm… ahem… That’s just one idea.” Twilight smiled again, putting on an air of excitement. “We could also go to Griffonstone! Making friends with a griffon is a challenge all by itself!”

“What, what, what?!” Sunset asked in disbelief as she wiped the remaining tear from her eyes.

Twilight sighed. “Something wrong, Sunset?”

“Don’t you ‘something wrong, Sunset’ me, Twilight Sparkle! Do you… do you have any worldly idea what you just suggested?!”

Twilight looked at her list again. “I thought making friends with a griffon would make for a good lesson on friendship!”

“WHY?! Because making friends with a griffon should be hard?!”

“Well… yeah!”

“Christ, Sparkle! Do you have any idea how just plain wrong that is?! A. You picked a lesson based on how you perceive Griffons to act, so it’s racist! B. Your lesson is that Starlight go out and just make friends with a stranger?! Who… who goes out and meets someone that potentially could become a life-long associate just because it’s some sort of bizarre assignment?! C. When we look at both A. and B. your whole plan is Starlight makes friends with a stranger of a specific race because such a feat should meet some arbitrary ‘Friendship Difficulty Score’?!”

“Well… I mean… Technically I named it the ‘Friendship Point System’, but—”

Starlight swallowed. “If neither of you mind, I’m just going to quietly back away from this conversation for a bit…” she said as she quietly backed away from the conversation.

“Oh my GOD!” Sunset shouted at Twilight. “What is wrong with you?! How many Griffons have you even met that you’d even think this was okay?”

“Me?!” Twilight asked. “Uh… I mean… I saw Gilda at a party once and she seemed pretty nasty… Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie managed to become friends with her much later, but that sounded rather difficult… OH! And I met a baker griffon named Gustave on a train once! He seemed pretty snooty…” Twilight said with a smile.

Sunset’s jaw dropped. “I mean… I was prepared to interrupt you and say, ‘Doesn’t matter! No amount of Griffons you’ve met would make this okay!’ But… but… you’ve only sorta met two Griffons and you’re basing part of your insane criteria off the fact of what you heard from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie?! Do you… Do you have any idea what the newspapers would do to you if they even caught wind of this discussion we’re having right now?! Twilight, they’d roast you in black and white and then you’d be eaten alive! Imagine the crazy diplomatic situation you’d have to resolve with Griffonstone! You’d have to spend days just making appearances and probably donating to Griffon charities to make up for botching pony/griffon relations! How…?! WHY?! … I… I… I think I need to throw up right now!” Sunset made a mad dash for the nearest window and stuck her head out.

Twilight pursed her lips in concern as she glanced at Starlight who stared back with wide, terrified eyes like a deer being bared down on by a freight train blaring its whistle.

With a purple glow of Twilight’s horn, she tore the parchment she had just read from in half. “Okay!” Twilight began in the same cheerful tone as before. “The last option is we tag along with the CMC—“

“BLLLLARRRRRGRARGAGARGARGARRRRRCCHCHCHCH…” Her head sticking out the window, one of Sunset’s hooves shot up. “Sorry! That wasn’t in response to what you were saying just now, that was still due to your other friendship suggestion,” Sunset said.

Twilight glanced at Sunset then looked back at Starlight with a smile. “As I was saying, we could tag along with the CMCs the next time they try to help a pony figure out why they’re special!”

“Hey, Twilight!” Sunset called. “There’s like… a bunch of kids outside with a bunch of fireworks? Is that… is that normal?”

“Oh!” Twilight said with a smile. “Sounds like they’re trying to help another pony right now!”

A shout of three fillies crying in unison suddenly sounded out from the window. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, LET’S GET BUTTON HIS CUTIE MARK IN PYROTECHNICS, YAY!”

Sunset continued to stare out that window. “Gee, those fireworks are really close to the Cast—“

‘KAAAABOOOOOOM!’

A storm of multi-colored fiery sparks suddenly exploded right in front of the window. The castle shook as both Twilight and Starlight’s eyes opened widely, both shooting panicked expressions as they watched the deadly light show wash over Sunset Shimmer’s head.

For a just a moment, no pony did anything. Even Sunset merely stood with her head facing outside. Then slowly, Sunset Shimmer turned, her face blackened, her eyes wide and unfocused as her head wobbled slightly. She blinked a few times as the high-pitched scream of terror from a young colt filled the vacuum left by the loud fireworks explosion.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“I think one of the foals is on fire…” Sunset said calmly. Staring at nopony as one ear flicked followed by the other.

“STOP DROP AND ROLL, BUTTON! STOP DROP AND ROLL!”

Sunset turned her head slightly to glance out of the window. “No wait… vision is still a bit messed up, but I think one of the other foals put him out… Either that or he was saved by a crying marshmallow who really likes kisses and hugs.”

As Twilight and Starlight stared blankly at Sunset for a moment, Twilight once again used magic to tear the parchment in front of her in half. “Okay! So I’ve narrowed it down to one option!” she said in a chipper tone.

Starlight cringed before forcing on a giant toothy smile as sweat began to drip from her forehead. “Super…” She swallowed and looked at Sunset. “Hey, Sunset? Could you walk with me a little bit?”

“Okay,” Sunset replied. “I’m not sure which purple pony with a horn just asked me that, but assuming you’re going to help me wash my face and fix my vision and hearing, I’m just going to say ‘yes’.”

-ooo-

With a sorrowful look on her face which was pointed at the ground, Starlight trotted down one of what seemed like an endless series of identical hallways, Sunset Shimmer following close behind. Sunset’s face had been cleared up, but her head wobbled slightly as she continuously flicked her ears and attempted to keep her vision focused on the purple tail with a light blue-stripe through the center of it swaying in front of her.

Starlight’s horn glowed sky blue as she opened the nearest door, several brooms and a mop, a ladder and a bucket suddenly collapsed on top of her, burying her in an instant as the bucket landed squarely over her head.

Sunset stopped and squinted. “Sigh for supply closet. Scream for cleaning monster that’s trying to devour you.”

Starlight let out a dejected sigh.

Sunset nodded. “Good. I’m not in any condition right now to fight some bizarre broomstrosity, even if it would be made almost completely out of flammable-ass wood and straw,” Sunset commented as her horn blazed with fire momentarily.

“Ugh!” Starlight groaned as she picked up everything on top of her with a sky blue glow and shoved it back into the supply closet, closing it with her magic. “I am never gonna find my way around this place!”

Sunset shook her head and blinked a few times, her eyes drifted erratically for a moment then focused on Starlight. “Starlight… Not to be mean, but how is it that you apparently were smart enough to both found and run an entire town where you removed cutie marks with magic, kept everyone in line with brainwashing and also smart enough to master a spell that sent you back in time and had reality-warping powers which you used so you could get revenge on some pony who has occasionally fights demigods and now can’t navigate a castle? I mean… it’s a big castle where everything looks the same a bit, but still…”

Starlight let out a small whimper. “I’m not good with directions, alright? Why do you think the town I founded could only be reached by taking a train all the way to the end of the tracks in the middle of the desert before you had to walk to and cross a gorge and walk even further through more desert to get to the town?!”

“Uh… I mean… I thought maybe you didn’t want a ton of attention to your sort of shady practice of removing cutie marks and brainwashing?!”

“No!” Starlight cried. “I mean, okay… sure… For a while the quiet was nice and convenient, but I had no way to progress on my own! I had essentially built myself into a corner!” Starlight cringed. “It’s not like ponies just randomly wandered into town that far out! Also, because of the equalizing process no pony had any useful skills that would result in us having any trade to speak of! If it weren’t for Twilight and her friends showing up I basically would have had no way of furthering my goal!” Starlight paused for a moment. “I mean… technically a good thing, but still!”

Sunset pursed her lips slightly. “Didn’t you escape Twilight and everyone by hiding in a maze like system of caves and navigating to the other side?”

“Are you kidding?!” Starlight exclaimed. “I can’t even find the bathroom here!”

“But lots of ponies saw you run into the cave! How’d you get out?!”

An embarrassed smile quickly shoved its way onto Starlight’s face. “Well…”

-~oooooo~-<

Starlight narrowed her eyes and then closed them as she stood amongst the snow and high walled rock cliffs of the mountains around her. In front of her were ten ponies, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends and four of her former town mates, all their cutie marks restored. Behind her was the opening to a cave which lead to a network of tunnels that went on in all directions, getting smaller, larger, and leading off into and out of each other, most ending in dark, dead ends.

Thinking with lightning speed, Starlight weighed her options… Attempt to fight past the ten ponies, one which was clearly about as skilled on magic as her, or flee into the caves where she could quite possibly lose them… and possibly herself.

With a sky blue flash of her horn, she made her choice. She created a shield of energy that burst out in a blinding flash, leaving a smoldering dry patch where she once stood.

The other ponies turned, and looked into the cave, a trial of snowy hoof prints leading into it.

“She’s getting away!” Rainbow Dash cried as she flew up in front of the cave.

An earth pony stallion with a pure white coat who was wearing tinted goggles over his forehead and standing on a snowboard shook his head. “We’ll never find her in there.”

From behind a stalagmite a few yards into the cave, Starlight pressed her back against it. Clenching her teeth hard with a worried expression as she murmured. “Oh please! Oh please! Oh please! Oh please!” over and over to herself.

<-~oooooo~->

Sunset sighed heavily. “If ponies wore clothes, I’d get you a t-shirt that read ‘If lost, please return to Sunset Shimmer.”

“Erm… Thank you…? I think…?”

“You’re welcome.”

“Hey, girls!” Spike said as he emerged from a room that contained a large oval mirror with a stool in front of it. “What’s shaking?”

“Sunset got blasted in the face by about 10 fireworks,” Starlight informed as she motioned to Sunset.

“Starlight is complaining that her new house is too big,” Sunset informed as she motioned towards Starlight.

“Huh?!” Starlight uttered.

“What?!” Sunset protested. “You are!”

Spike stopped and rubbed his chin with a claw as if considering which of the ladies’ comments to respond to first.

Starlight made the decision for him. “Okay… I mean… sure… from a certain point of view…”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “So you keep getting lost in the giant castle you get to live in!” Sunset exclaimed. “Tough break! I’m sorry Starlight, but you’re sort of griping about a problem I’m sure most ponies wish they had! Just… just make it an adventure of finding new rooms or something!”

Spike chuckled. “I do that all the time!” He grinned. “It’s like accidently opening a room and finding tons of free wall candy on the other side!”

Sunset and Starlight paused to look at Spike.

Spike frowned and clenched his claws together. “Please don’t tell Twilight about that.”

Sunset rose a forehoof and dragged it across her mouth like a zipper.

Starlight smiled at Spike. “It’s fine! I won’t say a word… Actually, I kinda wish I could just get lost in here and no one would find me for a while…”

Sunset’s eyes opened wide. “Whoa now! Most of Twilight’s options were bad, but she pared it down to the one that seemed pretty harmless!”

“Options?” Spike asked raising an eyebrow.

Sunset shook her heads. “Twilight wanted Starlight to make friends with a Griffon because such an act would win Starlight sufficient ‘Friendship points’.”

Spike winced. “Yes, that’s Twilight all over.”

“She also suggested she and Starlight tag along with the CMC… which is where the fireworks that exploding in my face came from.”

Spike nodded. “Well, those three can be alright… provided they’re not all together or you don’t take your eyes off of the three of them ever. What was the other option?”

“Reuniting me with my first friend,” Starlight answered sadly.

Spike’s pupilsshrank as he shrugged. “What's so terrible about that?”

Starlight sighed and stared up at the ceiling.“When we were foals, Sunburst knew everything there was to know about magic. He always knew just what to do. And he was always there to help me. I guess it's not surprising that Sunburst got his cutie mark in magic and... went off to Princess Celestia's school. But when he left...” Starlight trailed off.

Spike picked up the trail, counting on his claws. “You blamed cutie marks and stripped a whole village of theirs, and when Twilight and the others stopped you, you went back in time and almost destroyed Equestria.”

Starlight cringed.

“Hold up…” Sunset said.

“What is it, Sunset?” Spike asked.

Sunset narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Starlight’s cutie mark “Sorry for staring at your flank, Starlight, but your cutie mark is also in magic, right?”

“Uh… Yes?”

“Trying to write him aside, it never once occurred to you maybe you could also apply to Celestia’s school after you got your cutie mark?”

Spike and Starlight stood motionless for a second.

Starlight suddenly brought a forehoof up to her forehead with enough force that it made an audible ‘thunk!’ loud enough that Spike and Sunset recoiled slightly. Starlight let out a sad, exasperated sigh, took a deep breath and let it out in the same sad, exasperated tone.. “Okay, it’s decided,” Starlight said as she trotted past Spike, opened the room he had just left and stepped in. “I just live in this room forever now!” she announced as she closed the door.

“Starlight, wait!” Spike cried. “That’s my vanity room!”

“You have a vanity room?” Sunset asked.

Spike slowly turned to face Sunset with a clenched teeth cringe on his face. “I… I like to look at myself in the mirror while I flex sometimes… Please don’t tell anypony.”

Sunset’s eyes widened as she stared at the room. With a turquoise glow it opened, revealing Starlight sitting on the stool and weeping softly to herself. She looked up. “Sunset? Spike? I’m sorry, I just- wa!”

With a glow of Sunset’s horn, Starlight suddenly found herself back in the hall, sitting on her haunches.

“My turn! My turn!” Sunset said with the excitement of a little filly as she hopped onto the stool, unfurled her wings, and began admiring herself in the mirror. “Yeah! Looking good, Sunset!” Sunset said to her reflection as she turned to admire different angles of herself and her wings. She blew a kiss to herself. “Looking really good.”

Spike let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh thank Celestia, I’m not the only one.”

“Er…” Starlight uttered in an unsure tone. “Should I just go, or…”

“Sorry!” Sunset said as she glanced away from her reflect, glanced back to smile at herself, then looked towards Starlight as she stepped out of the room. “You were talking about maybe meeting up with your friend?”

Starlight winced. “Just all the stuff I’ve done since I’ve seen Sunburst… Not really stuff I'm super eager to tell him about. I mean, he's probably some big important wizard now, and... I can't even find my way around Twilight's castle.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Rich pony problems…” She trailed off as her brow suddenly tightened. “Wait? Why would you think he’s an important wizard?!”

“Because he was so good at magic!” Starlight said as she held a forehoof in front of her. “He has to be!”

“… A wizard?!” Sunset exclaimed. “I mean… Admittedly I’m a bit out of the loop, but I haven’t heard of wizards being a thing for hundreds of years! It’s not like mom had any wizards while I was around! She had advisors and lots of specialists who were good with magic which helped them do their jobs, but not any wizards!”

Spike looked at Sunset with an inquisitive look. “Wait, mom? Who was your mom?”

Sunset froze on the spot, her cheeks turning cherry red.

Starlight looked at Sunset, giving her a small smile. “Do you mean your adoptive mother, Sunset?”

Spike smiled as realization hit. “Oh! You must mean Princes—”

“Mom?!” Sunset interrupted with a massive fake smile. “Did I say ‘mom’?! Ha ha ha! He he he! Ho ho ho! Oh, let’s go back to talking about Sunburst some more like right now!” Sunset’s eyes darted back and forth over her giant crescent smile.

Spike scratched the back of his head and shrugged. He turned towards Starlight. “Well, if Sunburst is that good at magic, maybe he'd appreciate your, uh—“ Spike cleared his throat “— exploits.”

“I sure do!” Sunset said with a smile. “I mean… sure they were sorta evil. But I mean… stealing cutie marks and figuring out a time travel spell that could warp reality?!” Sunset narrowed her eyes giving Starlight a wry look. “Pretty impressive.”

Starlight returned Sunset’s look with a sheepish smile.

“Anywho,” Spike continued, “You should talk to Twilight about it. I'm sure she'd want to hear what you have to say!”

“I know,” Starlight said with a quick sideways glance towards a wall before she turned to look at Spike. “But I don't want her to think I'm not ready to learn or that I'm not grateful for everything she's doing.”

Sunset gave Starlight a quizzical look. “I’m sorry… Maybe I just don’t understand something, or it’s because pretty much everyone I know already knows of all the terrible stuff I did, but… Don’t you think you’re making this out to be a bigger issue than it really is?”

Starlight frowned heavily, her ears flopping down her head as she stared at the floor. “Maybe…” she mused. She looked up at Sunset with a slightly hopeful look. “But didn’t you have any friends from when you were a foal that you had a hard time facing after all the things you did that you’re not proud of?”

Sunset thought on this for a moment…

-ooooooo-<

Smiling as she held up a cracked teapot with her turquoise magic that was almost as large as herself, little cutie markless Sunset Shimmer looked across a small, grimy, round wooden table towards a ratty, pony-shaped doll with dirty orange yarn hair.

“More tea, Shimmering Beauty?”

The pony doll stared off into space with lifeless, black button eyes as Sunset pretended to pour tea into a dirty, chipped tea cup.

“Why thank you, Shimmering Beauty!” She turned towards a filthy frog plushie. “What do you think of me, Pride Frog?”

The frog stuffed animal said nothing, its mouth hanging open as it stared up at the ceiling.

Sunset sighed sorrowfully to herself as she pulled her blacklegs onto her chair, wrapped her forelegs around them, and rested her chin on her back knees. “I hope somepony adopts me today…”

<-ooooooo->

“No!” Sunset replied chipperly to Starlight.

Starlight’s eyes shot open wide. “Oh… I see… Sunset… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… sniff…” Starlight’s eyes began tearing up.

“What?! No! Starlight,” Sunset said hastily as she raised a forehoof. “It’s fine, really! You didn’t mean anything by it and the past is the—”

“It’s not fine!” Starlight said forcefully. “You… sniff… You… choke… you were all alone and… sob… and…”

“Oh God, Starlight! Don’t cry!” Sunset said as water began to collect under her eyes. “If you start crying I’m going to start… I’m gonna… sob…OH STARLIGHT!”

“SUUUNSEEEET!” Starlight cried as the two mares quickly galloped up to each other, buried their faces and each other’s manes and began sobbing at full volume.

“WouhAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAA…”

Spike stepped closer and cleared his throat.

The two mares bit their quivering lips and turned to face Spike as he stared down at his claws, awkwardly pressing the tips of his index claws against each other and twisting them. “Er… Like… you two are having a sort of a… biological parents are out of the picture cry off, right? Cause like… I don’t want to impose, but... I’m sorta the only dragon in a country full of p—”

In a sky blue and turquoise flash, Spike’s world was soon colorful manes, pony legs wrapped around him, and tears.

-o~Five minutes of hysterical mare and dragon crying later~0-

“… And… and… a-and… sniff…” Spike stuttered as he buried his shifted his crying face out of the tangle of orange, yellow, purple, and light-blue mane hair. “... I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THEY MISS ME OR EVEN CARE!”

“WE KNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAAA…!”

“I JUST WANT A SIGN!” Spike cried. “JUST SOMETHING THAT TELLS ME THEY MISS ME OR EVEN IF THEY’RE OUT THERE! WOUHAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAA…!”

“WE KNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAAA!”

The wailing ball of colorful bawlers quickly synced their cries, weeping in perfect unison as Twilight Sparkle came galloping into sight. In stark contrast to the ball of sad, Twilight smiled widely as she excitedly held aloft a large snowflake and a piece of parchment with her magic. “Girls! Spike! I… OH GOSH! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!”

The group stopped crying, collectively turned to look at Twilight. Slowly, they detached themselves from each other.

His face a bit pink, Spike looked up at Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. “Thanks girls… it feels… it feels really good to find some ponies who really understand.”

“Um-hmm!” The girls said in unison as they glanced at each other and back to Spike, nodding their heads up and down.

With a sheepish grin, Spike continued, “Is it… would it be okay if I maybe talk to one or both of you later about this?”

“Of course, Spike!” Starlight said with a smile. “Maybe the three of us should find some time alone to just sit and get it all out.”

“Ooooh!” Sunset said excitedly. “Maybe we can even start a support group for ponies—” Sunset looked at Spike with a smile and winked “—and dragons who have situations similar to our own!”

“Far out!” Spike said excitedly. He put his claw forward towards the girls and held it flat. Sunset and Starlight grinned and placed their hooves on it. “Parents are Missing Society?”

Sunset cringed and smiled. “Worst acronym EVER! But okay!” she said as she placed her hoof over Spike’s claw.

“Hurray, PMSers!” Starlight said as she placed a forehoof on top of the pile.

“Aaaaaaand break!” The three said before throwing their appendages up in the air and bursting into laughter.

Twilight Sparkle watched all of this, a twisted, twitching smile on her face as her left eyelid convulsed. She slowly floated the parchment in front of her which read ‘Friendship lesson: Open up about your hard-to-talk-about past emotional experiences with somepony you trust’ in front of her face. Right before the parchment caught flame and turned to ash within the lilac glow of her magic.

“Hehehe…” Sunset turned towards Twilight. “I’m sorry, Twilight…” Sunset said with a warm smile. “Did you need something?”

Twilight shook her head, replacing her twisted smile with a real one. She excitedly held up the snowflake which unfolded revealing a small card.

“It’s a Crystalling invitation!” Spike exclaimed.

Sunset squinted hard at the small card. “Okay, maybe my eyes are still messed up, but Starlight, can you read what that says from here?”

Starlight shook her head. “Nope!”

Spike sighed. “I just like to guess about the mail, alright?”

Twilight shook her head. “I’m surprised you didn’t throw out a letter inviting you to be a new gem-filled ice-cream taste tester.”

“One day, Twilight!” Spike said in a determined voice. “One day!”

Still smiling, Twilight rolled her eyes. “Anyhow, Spike is right! Shining Armor's a father! I'm an aunt!” she said as she beamed from ear to ear. She turned to look at Starlight. “Well, this settles it! Since we're going to the Crystal Empire, your first friendship lesson is going to be... reuniting with Sunburst!”

Starlight’s eyes widened fearfully for a moment before a nervous smile appeared on her face. “Grrrreeeaaaat…” she said in the most earnest tone she could muster as her ears flopped down around her head.

Spike thrust a claw into the air. “Alright! A trip to the Crystal Empire! Could this day get any better?!”

Sunset paused remembering she threw up and almost got her face blasted off as a familiar, head-splitting ringing reverberated through her skull. “Are you… Are you being rhetorical, or…?”

Chapter 5: Sleep is for the Weak and Also Ponies Without Babies

Chapter 5: Sleep is for the Weak and Also Ponies Without Babies

Sunset Shimmer entered the ponies’ passenger car using the same train door she had come in through with Pinkie earlier, sporting a grin a little too wide for a simple bathroom trip and a mane quite a bit messier than when she had last exited the car. Starlight and Spike followed behind Sunset, likewise sporting less than genuine smiles with Starlight’s mane also being a tousled mess.

Out of the other mares on the train already facing the door, Applejack was the closest and she immediately reacted to what she was seeing with a look of suspicion. “Call me crazy—”

“You’re crazy!” Pinkie exclaimed happily as she laid down on the seat across from Twilight.

Applejack rolled her eyes and continued, “—but didn’t y’all go in through that door?” Applejack asked, pointing at the door that lead to the empty snack car.

Sunset shook her head. “No! That’s silly!” she said as she took her seat behind Twilight, who still pored her eyes over the book with the baby bottle on the front. “Why would you even suggest that?” Sunset continued as Spike elected to sit next to her and Starlight reclaimed the spot next to Twilight. “Obviously, we wouldn’t go in there because the bathroom wouldn’t be that direction!”

Applejack tilted her head and raised an eyebrow to enhance her scrutinizing look. “Ah’m certain you and Starlight went through that door,” Applejack said, pointing again at the door on the opposite end of the car the three had just emerged from, “and then Spike went to check on you two ‘cause both of ya were in there for so long!”

Sunset shook her head. “Well that doesn’t seem likely with what everypony just saw and shouldn’t question because clearly the laws of physics mean nothing on this train.”

Applejack scowled at Sunset.

“Makes sense to me!” Rainbow Dash said happily.

Pinkie smiled wide. “I never question things when it comes to physics!” Pinkie thrust a forehoof into the seat cushion she laid on and pulled out a black eyepatch that she put over her left eye. “Arrrrrr! Physics be a fickle mistress!”

Sunset grit her teeth as her left eye twitched slightly, seemingly holding her smile at gunpoint to stay on her face. “It’s actually quite the opposite of what you said!” She said, maintaining her chipper tone. “But this conversation is already starting to make me very angry, so I’m no longer going to comment.”

Applejack sighed and shook her head.

Her fake smile still on her face, Starlight leaned over the seat divider to whisper into Sunset’s ear. “Do you think they suspect we went out the back and made our way to the other side of the train?”

-ooo-<

Starlight Glimmer grit her teeth and kept her head and body low as wind blasted her in the face, whipping her mane about in all directions. Around her the chilly countryside of the Crystal Empire sped by, below her was the sloped light blue roof of a train car. “I’M REALLY WONDERING IF THIS WAS A BETTER IDEA THAN COMING UP WITH A REASON WE WERE ALL IN THERE SO LONG!” she shouted over the sound of the roaring wind.

Just a bit in front of her, Sunset likewise kept her body low to the train car and slowly worked her way up. Looking behind her she shouted, “WE WERE IN THERE FOR TOO LONG! I MEAN… WHAT WERE WE GOING TO COME UP WITH THAT WASN’T EMBARRASSING THAT WE COULD EXPLAIN TOOK SO MUCH TIME TO HASH OUT?!”

From behind the mares, Spike also hugged the top of the train car, digging his claws into the top. “DIDN’T WE ALL SPEND A LONG TIME CRYING BECAUSE OF OUR FAMILY ISSUES?! I MEAN… I THINK THEY’D HAVE BOUGHT US JUST TALKING ABOUT THAT! IT’S NOT REALLY EMBARRASSING AND NOT REALLY ANYTHING ANYPONY IS GOING TO PRY INTO, SO…”

Sunset and Starlight paused momentarily before simultaneously smashing forehooves into their faces.

“ALSO,” Spike continued, “CAN’T BOTH OF YOU JUST TELEP—”

“SPIKE!” Starlight shouted as she held her forehoof against her forehead. “I’M SORRY, BUT I’M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO BE QUIET NOW. SUNSET AND I ONLY HAVE SO MANY HOOVES TO HOLD ONTO THE TRAIN WITH AND WE ALREADY USED ONE TO HIT OURSELVES IN THE HEAD!”

Sunset nodded, likewise holding a hoof against her forehead.

<-ooo->

Matching Starlight’s smile, Sunset placed a forehoof up to her lips. “Shhhh!”

“Oh my word!” Rarity exclaimed as she bolted from her seat and examined Starlight and Sunset’s manes. “Whatever happened to your coiffures?!”

Starlight’s eyes opened wide. “We weren’t making out if that’s what you’re thinking!”

Sunset smacked a forehoof against her head.

“Oh my…” Fluttershy uttered from under her and Rarity’s seat.

“Erm… I wasn’t, darling,” Rarity answered as she tilted her head and cast a look of suspicion over Sunset and Starlight.

“Well, I am now!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly.

Twilight’s ear merely flicked as she stared into her book.

Spike let out a slightly sad sigh. “They really weren’t…”

“Aww…” Rainbow Dash uttered in disappointment.

Rarity wrinkled her nose and forehead as she stared at Spike.

Spike’s eyes widened as he noticed Rarity staring at him. “Uh… I mean… geee, Rarity! Your coat looks extra shiny today!”

A massive smile lit up Rarity’s face. “Oh my, thank you for noticing, Spikey-wikey!” Rarity tittered. “I’m trying a new brand of coat wash and I must say it’s doing wonders,” she said as she motioned to herself.. Rarity shot a slightly miffed glance at the other ponies in the train car. “I’m glad at least someone took notice!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash rolled their eyes as Rarity’s gaze passed them. Spike turned towards Sunset and gave her a thumbs-up and a smile. Sunset also rolled her eyes but her smile changed to something a bit more genuine.

“Well,” Rarity continued looking back at Starlight and Sunset. “I simply must do something about your manes. We can’t have you two trotting into the Crystal Empire for the first time looking like that!”

“It’s no big deal!” Sunset said. “Our current styles are just a bit, er, avant-garde!”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Messy is hardly avant-garde, dearie. If you really want to to try something avant-garde, I could try turning Starlight’s mane into a sphere while braiding yours into a fiery beard that covers your whole face.” Rarity gave Sunset an askew smile. “Would you like me to make your mane avant-garde?” she asked, the question coming out as not so much an offer as a threat.

“Uh… No thank you!” Sunset answered in a worried tone.

“Yeah, I think we’re good,” Starlight chimed in.

“Right, then I shall simply deliver two fixed manes,” Rarity said as she leveled her smile. She tittered once again as she glanced towards the back of the train at a large purple suitcase under one of the back seats. “Good thing I always pack a small travel bag for just such an emergency.”

Sunset leaned past Spike to look at the suitcase. “I wouldn’t call that small-Ack!”

Both Sunset’s and Starlight’s manes were soon besieged by a small armada of combs and brushes held in an azure glows that dug into the tangles and unknotted knots. Some brushes and combs straightening while others styled. Within a few seconds, Sunset and Starlight’s manes had been restored to pre-‘let’s-go-out-the-back-then-travel-to-the-other-side-of-the train-while-we’re-whipped-with-train-speed-winds’.

Rarity looked over her handiwork, rubbing at her chin thoughtfully as her ocean blue eyes wandered every strand and curl. “Hmmm…” Her face lit up. “Have you two ever considered experimenting with different mane styles? I mean… spheres and beards are out, but there’s always cubes and and the porcupine look.”

Sunset cringed.

Starlight glanced at the one long curl of hair that sat just above her right eye. “But I just got this style!”

‘TOOOOOOT-TOOOOOT!’

With a loud whistle, the station suddenly came into view as the train chuffed up steam and came to a halt.

“We’re here!” Twilight said excitedly as she closed her book.

Sunset let out a sigh of relief as Rarity floated her brushes and combs back to her suitcase with a slight look of disappointment. The ponies and Spike hopped up off their seats, with the exception of Fluttershy who got up from under hers, and gathered by the massive door in the side of the train c—

“I know this is going to sound slightly hypocritical,” Sunset said, “BUT WHERE THE HELL DID THAT GIANT DOOR COME FROM?!”

“Yarrr!” Pinkie exclaimed as the door opened up and the ponies walked out the train. “Physics once again has gifted us with a convenient object to move the story along without the animators having to think too much!”

Sunset glared at Pinkie as her horn glowed turquoise, her magic grabbing hold of the eye patch. “Give. Me. THAT!” Sunset hissed as she quickly took the eyepatch off of Pinkie’s head and magically tossed it in a random direction.

Pinkie whimpered slightly and looked at the ground. She stopped mid-trot. Looked up. Looked left. Looked right. Dove back into the train car and came back out with her forelegs full of eyepatches she quickly stuffed into her mane.

Sunset’s brow suddenly wrinkled as she turned to stare at the train. “HOW IS THE CAR NOW AT THE FRONT OF TRAIN?!” She screamed wrathfully. “THERE WAS ONE CAR WITH A BLUE ROOF! ONE! WE WERE IN IT, IT WAS AT THE BACK OF THE TRAIN, NOW IT’S AT THE FRONT!” She began to point at the other cars on the train. “AND NOW THERE’S ANOTHER PASSENGER CAR WITH A BLUE ROOF ON THE TRAIN AND THE RED CAR IS AT THE BACK! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!”

“Yaarrr!” Pinkie exclaimed, another eye patch already on her face. “Ye be best not—”

In a turquoise glow, the eye patch flew off Pinkie’s face and burst into flames in front of her.

“Eek!” Pinkie cried as she shot a wide, worried grin at Sunset. “Er, It’s probably best if you don’t spend too much time thinking about how trains work in Equestria… Considering the length of a trip seems to vary every time we set our hooves on a train, I think powering them with a herb is the best we could do to make the trains run on thyme.”

Sunset’s head twitched in irritation. “I should blast you for that, but in addition to mad, I’m also a little impressed at that joke.”

Pinkie grinned and began bouncing past disembarking passengers and the ponies waiting for them. “I’m quite the source of sagely thinking, alright!”

Sunset’s head began to quake as she glared at Pinkie. “STILL considering the flammability of your mane over here!”

Swallowing as she approached the furious mare, Fluttershy spoke, “Er… You sure have noticed a lot about that train…”

Sunset clenched her eyes hard and let out a long sigh. “I had a long time to look at it.”

As Twilight continued to pour over her list, Starlight gave her a concerned look. “Maybe I should take Sunset to a hospital or something to get looked at… Just to be safe.”

Twilight looked up just as Sunset trotted next to Starlight and chimed in with a smile that she clearly had poured all her anger into. “Twilight, does Starlight know another friend from her past that also lives in the Crystal Empire that she can reconnect with in addition to Sunburst?”

Starlight’s entire body tensed up as she clenched her teeth hard.

“Uh, not that I’m aware of,” Twilight replied wearily as she eyed Sunset’s expression.

“Darn,” Sunset said with a smug smirk as she looked at Starlight. “Guess she’ll just have to meetup with just Sunburst which is absolutely a thing that’s going to happen today!”

Starlight let out a defeated sigh as she opted to stare at the concrete ground of the train stop.

“I’m glad you mentioned that!” Twilight said happily. “Meeting with Sunburst is the first thing on the list.”

Sunset and Starlight synchronized wincing.

Twilight began reading from her list as she continued to trot. “Step one, head back to Sunburst’s house and get him and Starlight started on the right hoof. Step two, get to the castle with enough time to visit the ba—”

‘Thump!’

Twilight dropped her list and looked up into the pony she had just bumped into. A white stallion with a frazzled, two-tone blue mane, and eyes with large, tired bags under them.

Twilight gasped. “Shining Armor!”

Shining Armor’s eyes opened and he smiled as if he had just noticed Twilight. “Twiiiliiight…” he said in a tone to match the exhausted expression on his face. The brother and sister shared a quick hug.

“I didn’t know you were meeting us!” Twilight said.

Shining Armor’s eyes became wide and unfocused. “Of course I am!” His head moved around erratically before his eyes seemingly found Twilight again and he held himself in place to face her. “It’s me, right here. Here I am. Why wouldn’t I come meet my sister? Though we have met before, heh-heh…”

Shining was met with a number of looks from the mares present, ranging from concerned to amused.

Twilight continued to give her brother a concerned look. “Are you alright?”

“Never better!” Shining answered, raising both forehooves as his head bobbed one direction and the next and his shadowy sky blue eyes drifting off one way then the other all while his pupils shrank and grew seemingly at random. “Being a father is amazing! And wonderful, and amazing, and confusing, and amazing, but surprising too, you know?” Shining motioned with one hoof and sometimes two hooves erratically. “I mean, not that you’d know. You wouldn’t know, I know… You know?” Shining finished with a big grin he directed at Twilight.

Sunset stared at Shining for a moment. “Wow. Crazy or not, your brother has a good sense of balance to do that.”

Rainbow Dash snickered.

Most of the amused looks had changed to concerned ones as Twilight turned to grin nervously at Sunset and Starlight. Spike stopped in the middle of rolling up Twilight’s long scroll to stare blankly at Shining.

“Sorry,” Shining said. “I haven’t really slept since Cadance had the baby. Come to think of it, she hasn’t either…”

“Uh… hate to interrupt,” Sunset began, “but—”

Twilight turned and raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been interrupting all day today.”

“I love to interrupt,” Sunset said with a smile. “In fact it’s one of the things that’s kept me from just screaming non-stop today!”

Twilight sighed. “You were about to say something?”

Sunset nodded. “I was going to ask your brother why he just didn’t get a nanny or nurse to watch the baby for a bit.” Sunset turned to Shining. “I mean… You guys kind of have an empire to run… It makes sense that—”

Shining shook his head emphatically. “Sorry, magical talking camp-fire.”

“… Camp-fire?” Sunset replied as the ponies around her giggled and chuckled.

Shining continued, “Cadance doesn’t want just some random hired help to wait on the baby hoof and other, uh, back hoof because she thinks if that happens the baby will feel abandoned and become resentful, turning into some sort of stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues who screams insults at her and makes her cry herself to sleep at night before the baby leaves suddenly only to come back a few years later to hatch a plot that almost causes a war.”

Sunset froze in place, a fearful look taking over her. “Cadance… couldn’t have said that exactly… could she?”

Shining thought for a moment. “Well, actually…”

-ooooooo-<

“Cadance, sweetie?” Shining said as he lovingly put a forehoof on his wife as she laid up in a hospital bed and held something swaddled close to her. “I know we’re both super happy to have this bundle of joy in our lives, but maybe you should let somepony else who’s good with babies, or maybe some of the guards, or a powerful battle unicorn, watch the…”

“NO!” Cadance exclaimed as she clutched the foal to herself. “If we let some random hired help take care of the baby, it might think its parents abandoned it, and then it’ll become needy and resentful and grow up to be a stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues who screams insults at me and makes me cry myself to sleep at night before she leaves only to come back a few years later to hatch a plot that almost causes a war!”

“Oh… okay?”

-ooooo-

Shining let out a yawn as he looked down at a small piece of paper with a slightly tired smile. “Cadance, dear?” he said as he turned his head. “I’m about to send the Crystalling invitation to Twilight, do you want to add a little note?”

“Sure, Shining!” Cadance said as she, rubbed her tired-looking eyes, and smiled down into a crib. “But you’ll have to take my place here! If we just get hired help to take care of the baby, it might think it’s parents abandoned it, and then it’ll become needy and resentful, and grow up to be a stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues who screams insults at me and makes me cry myself to sleep at night before she leaves suddenly only to come back a few years later to hatch a plan that almost causes a war!”

“Uh… Right…”

-ooooo-

With dark bags under his eyes, Shining Armor let out a small, tired sigh as he smiled down into a crib, a gentle cooing sound greeting him from inside. He turned. “Oh, honey? Could you—”

“Watch the baby?!” Cadance offered in a distressed tone as she suddenly dashed by Shining’s side and stared down into the crib with a wild smile and tired eyes. “Of course! If we let some random, hired help, take care of the baby, it might think it’s parents abandoned it, and then it’ll become needy and resentful, and grow up to be a stuck-up, SELFISH, POSSESSIVE mare with mommyissueswho SCREAMS insults at me and makes me CRY MYSELF to sleep at night before she LEAVES suddenly only to come back a few years later to hatch a plan that almost causes a WAR!” Still smiling wildly at the baby, Cadance’s chest puffed in and out as she caught her breath.

“That sounds terrifying, my love,” Shining answered with a tired smile. “I’m just going to go wash the sick out of my mane now.”

<-ooooooo->

“… Oh…” Sunset said simply as she stared down at the ground and dragged her hoof over it.

Starlight blinked a couple times. “Battle unicorn?”

Spike cleared his throat. “Again… Yikes. Just yikes.”

Starlight trotted up to Sunset as Twilight looked between Shining, Spike and the other mares with a perplexed look as if she missing a key piece to a puzzle she suddenly realized she had to solve.

Starlight leaned her head close to Sunset’s. “Maybe it’s not such a great idea to see Cadance… I mean… she just had the baby, she’s probably sleep-deprived, she, uh… She clearly still has some things she’s coping with.”

Sunset sighed. “That is exactly why I should talk to her. If I’m the cause of some long-standing psychological damage with the poor, sweet Princess of love, I need to talk to her and set things straight.” Sunset looked and gave Starlight a serious look. “Just like you do with Sunburst!”

Starlight’s ears fell around her head as she broke eye contact with Sunset.

“… Am I missing something here?” Twilight asked.

“Twily!” Shining Armor suddenly exclaimed wrapping his fore hooves around his sister. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“Uh… Shining?” Twilight replied as she broke the hug. “We just did this…”

“Oh, like… A few weeks ago?”

“More like a minute ago.”

Shining gave his sister a wide, tired smile. “Time has lost all meaning for me!” he said as eyes unfocused and his pupils dilated. “I can no longer remember a time before the baby came into my life…time! It’s as if when it arrived, the very flow of causality stopped and was absorbed into its adorably newborn foalness!” Shining said with a mad grin.

The ponies present all exchanged concerned glances.

“Uh, Shining?” Twilight said. “Are you sure you’re—”

“Twilylight!” Shining greeted cheerfully as he hugged his sister.

Twilight smiled sadly and let out a sigh as she returned the hug. “Hello, Shining. I hate to break this to you, but we just did this twice in the last couple minutes.”

Shining broke the hug and stared at Twilight. “We… we did?! Oh… Sorry… With the baby…” Shining’s eyes closed as his head bobbed. “… time…”

“Uh, Shining?” Twilight said.

Shining’s head bolted upright. “TIME BABY!” he cried. “Oh Celestia, I’m so tired! I really need a break!” He blinked one eye and then the other before they focused on his sister. “Twiiiiiliiiiight!” he said as if seeing Twilight for the first time.

“Uh… Hi, big brother!” Twilight replied with a worried smile.

“Thank Celestia you’re here! You’re not random or hired at all! You can help with the baby!”

“Oh, of course!” Twilight replied. “I don’t know what I was thinking! You and Cadance probably need all kinds of help!”

Sunset’s eyes stopped mid roll as she thought, That a nanny or a nurse could easily provide for a newborn foal. The sharp sting in her chest preventing her from uttering such a phrase out loud.

Twilight shot Sunset a quick glare then turned to Starlight. “I’m sorry, Starlight, but I guess combining your first lesson with this visit wasn’t such a good idea.”

Sunset narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth together hard.

Starlight’s eyes widened as a relieved smile appeared on her face. “Oh, uh, don’t be ridiculous. You’re an aunt now! That’s way more important than—”

“Oh, Twilight,” Sunset said with a smile. “You really should learn how to delegate.”

A shudder began down at Starlight’s hooves and made its way all the way up through her body until it exited through the tip of her horn. She turned to glare angrily at Sunset.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

Sunset shot a smug smile at Starlight before smiling widely at Twilight. “Spike and I can take Starlight to see Sunburst while you and everypony else takes care of the baby!”

Twilight’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea, Sunset!”

“I know!” Sunset said. “It’s like you came here with a big group of friends that you should know by now that you can ask for help when you need it!”

Twilight groaned. “It wasn’t that obvious!”

Spike held up Twilight’s list. “I already grabbed the list in case you needed me and Sunset to help!”

Sunset went ridged. “Oh, yay…” she said in a strained tone.

Starlight cleared her throat. “But Sunset!” Starlight said in her best, on the spur, concerned-sounding voice, “What about Cada—”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Don’t use the fake distress tone with me. I invented the fake distress tone.”

Starlight clamped down on her teeth and glared daggers at Sunset once more.

Sunset continued, “We can all go to see the baby, and the baby's mother!” Sunset interrupted. “I’m sure I can quickly pop in and talk to Cadance and get you to Sunburst before this arbitrary deadline we’re apparently under that Twilight hasn’t mentioned for some reason despite being explicit about everything else going on today.”

Pinkie gasped, placing her forehooves over her mouth.

“Ughhh…” Twilight uttered in frustration. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see Sunburst first?”

Starlight let out a distressed squeak.

Pinkie smiled and nodded her head up and down rapidly.

“No, no,” Sunset said with a smile. “I really ought to say ‘hi’ to Cadance. You know… clear the air with her.”

Pinkie let out a panicked “Eek!”

Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity turned to stare at Pinkie.

“Er… I don’t know, actually…” Twilight said.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Sunset said with a chagrined look.

“No, really!” Twilight said in a slightly frustrated tone. “What’s going on? It’s like there’s all this other stuff happening that I haven’t a clue about!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you already learn some sort of lesson on this very topic?”

“Uh… no?”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “You told me about that stupid lesson on not letting inside jokes or whatever get to you with Discord! You should know better!” Sunset glanced down at the list in Spike’s claws. “Or is this day some sort of—” Sunset put on a goofy grin and stared out into space as she continued talking in a lackadaisical tone–“ ‘I’m just going to forget a bunch of the stuff on friendship I should already know, today! La-De-Da!’”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Sparkle. Maybe you can tell me!” Sunset said in a furious tone.

Starlight and Spike took a few steps back as Sunset and Twilight started an angry shouting match. All the while, Shining stood in place and snored loudly.

“They can’t do this!” Pinkie cried.

The other four ponies turned back from the quarrelling alicorns and towards Pinkie.

“Uh… argue?” Rainbow Dash said. “Because they’ve been kinda doing that off and on all day.” She frowned. “Kinda boring, they’re not firing magic at each other or anything!”

Fluttershy shuddered and tentatively spoke up, “Er... I hope they don’t start a fight. That sounds scary… And I do wish they’d stop yelling at each other.”

Applejack shook her head. “If ya ask me, it’s about time those two worked out… whatever is going on between them.”

“SERIOUSLY!” Sunset’s shouting cut through the air. “HOW LONG IS THAT STUPID LIST AND HOW MUCH DETAIL DO YOU THINK IS ACTUALLY GOING TO PAN OUT?! I BET YOU ALREADY HAVE OUR BATHROOM SCHEDULES PLANNED!”

Twilight began to match Sunset’s volume. “I WOULD IF YOU, STARLIGHT, AND SPIKE DIDN’T TAKE FOREVER ON THE TRAIN!”

Rarity sighed. “Well it seems to me they’re just arguing in circles instead of discussing the thing that’s really the issue here.”

Rainbow Dash turned to Rarity. “And that is?”

Rarity shook her head. “I have no idea, dear.”

“Oh my gosh, girls!” Pinkie exclaimed. “That’s not even what I’m talking about!”

“Er… Then what are you talking about?” Fluttershy asked.

“Sunset’s actions are changing the order of things!” Pinkie exclaimed as she got on her hind legs and pointed a random direction with a forehoof. “If they go off and see the baby before they go off to see Spike’s statue—” Pinkie crossed her other foreleg in front of her pointing in another direction “—that means that things will be messed up and all kinds of strange stuff will happen!” Pinkie raised another leg up to her chest. “Like… like… The train we rode in on might retroactively go all magikoopa magic-plastic-tragic on us and like…” Pinkie raised another leg up to her chest. “...cars will change places and just appear!” Pinkie cried as she raised yet another leg up to her chest. “Plus doors might appear out of nowhere or even change shape!” Pinkie rose one more leg up to the tangled mass of limbs in front of her chest. “And there’ll be no telling if that’s Sunset Shimmer’s doing or lazy writing slash animating!” she cried as her legs entangled in a whirling mass and she landed on all fours. Pinkie’s eyes opened wide as she shook all over. “Ooooooo! I just sent chills down my spine!”

Applejack nodded knowingly. “Pinkie, we’ve all learned to just look like we know what yer talking about when you get like this, so that’s what we’re doing now.”

Rainbow Dash smacked Applejack’s cowboy hat so that it fell over the apple mare’s eyes. “You’re not supposed to tell her that!”

Applejack adjusted her hat. “Shoot. Stupid honest streak.”

Rarity shook her head. “It’s Pinkie, dears. I don’t think it matters,” she said as she pointed off towards Pinkie who was already busy talking to a pigeon which was eating some discarded hay-fries from the ground.

“Stop eating ponies’ old hay-fries, pigeon,” Pinkie said with a serious expression on her face. “Have some self-respect! Don’t you know you can fly?”

“SUNSET!” Twilight shouted irately. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS TODAY WHEN WE’RE HERE IN THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE TO SEE SHINING ARMOR, CADANCE, AND THEIR BABY WHILE STARLIGHT HAS A REUNION WITH SUNBURST?!”

“OH MY GOD, TWILIGHT! WHEN DID YOU DEVELOP A CONDITION THAT MAKES YOU CONTINUOUSLY SPOUT EXPOSITION?! IT BETTER NOT BE CONTAGIOUS…! OH MY GOSH! IT IS, ISN’T IT?! YOU’RE SHOWING EARLY SIGNS OF WHATEVER PINKIE HAS, AREN’T YOU?!”

Standing in front of the two mares while Starlight hid behind him, Spike cleared his throat.

“WHAT?!” Both mares shouted in unison at Spike as Starlight did her best to shrink behind the small dragon.

Spike wordlessly pointed towards Shining Armor who was leaning against a filthy garbage can and snoring loudly.

Sunset sighed and turned, trotting away from Twilight.

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and let a small smile back onto her face. She trotted up to Shining Armor and nudged him slightly with a forehoof. “Alright, big brother, let’s go see this amazing baby pony!”

Shining snorted awake, his eyes wide and terrified. “Ah! The baby! Burning everypony!” he cried as his eyes darted over the train platform. “No pony was spared!” he said in a whisper. “No pony.”

Sunset’s stared at this scene with anxious eyes and swallowed.

“Uh… Shining?” Twilight said. “Maybe I should help you…”

“HI, TWILIGHT!” Shining exclaimed loudly as he wrapped garbage-smudged arms around his little sister.

-ooo-

“Oh, woulda-woulda!” Celestia uttered, deepening her voice as she pursed her lips and shook her head back and forth. Her flowing mane cascaded and sparkled at the movement and Celestia’s antics were met with a series of delighted coos from directly below her. Grinning happily to herself, Celestia lowered her head, once again pursing her lips as she shook her glittering mane about. “Oh, woulda-woulda-woulda-wo!” More happy coos now joined by ecstatic squeals rose up to the delight of the ruler’s ears.

“My, my, sister,” Luna said with a smile as she stood next to Celestia. “You seem to be a natural when it comes to newborn foals.” Luna grinned. “Perhaps she senses a kinship with you.”

From across the crystal nursery with its baby-blue walls with soft purple clouds and trees, Cadance giggled. Her tired features bouncing up and down softly as the gentle laughter rolled out from her.

Celestia looked up at Luna with a grin. “Oh, joke all you want. I’m just excited to have a grand-niece to spoil rotten.”

Cadance cringed. “Yeah…about that…”

Still smiling widely, Celestia turned towards Cadance. “Certainly you’re not going to deny me the opportunity to rain presents on an adorable little filly such as your daughter.”

Her own smile turning anxious, Cadance held her gaze with her adopted aunt. “Oh, auntie… Of course I want the baby to feel she’s loved by her entire family, it’s just… Well…”

Celestia’s smile faltered slightly. “What is it, my gentle little song?”

“It’s just that… erm… I’d hate for the baby to grow up to be a stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues—”

Celestia froze as if Cadance had suddenly transformed into a pink train that was about to barrel down on her, blaring it’s whistle despite the fact that… Doesn’t that pink train see that Celestia’s leg was caught in the tracks?! And her wings tied to her body?!

“—who screams insults at me—”

And that her horn had a class-S magic dampening cone on it?! Don’t worry… She’d get free… She had to get free before the train—

Luna peered quizzically at her sister at this sudden change in body language.

“–and makes me cry myself to sleep—”

“Sleep!” Luna quickly interjected. “Princess Cadance, why don’t you get some sleep? You’ve been up for days and I think it’s time you get some rest!” Luna smiled warmly. “Trust me on this.”

Saved by her lovely sister right before the train barreled through the tracks she had been stuck in just moments ago. Celestia nodded her head up and down emphatically which also cleared the sound of the approaching train and its whistle. “Yes, Cadance! You should rest! Luna and I can watch the little filly, and Twilight should be here soon! I think now would be a good time for you to—”

Cadance shook her head. “I’m sorry… I’m just worried about the baby growing up to be like… you know…”

Celestia swallowed as the train did a u-turn on the tracks and… maybe she needed a better metaphor... “Well, every parent worries their child will grow up to be a hooffull…”

Cadence raised an eyebrow. “‘Hooffull’? I’m sorry, auntie, but I wouldn’t call stealing an Element of Harmony and almost starting a war a ‘hooffull’!”

Celestia winced. The train whistle bellowed.

Luna crossed her eyes and looked upwards into her own folded brow. “This is starting to sound specific… In fact it sounds like your old student… What was her name…?”

Her sister suddenly morphed into a train, black as midnight and belching black smoke deep as the deepest void and… Yes… Maybe mysteriously changing trains wasn’t the best idea here… “Oh, Cadance!” Celestia said as she threw the biggest grin she could muster on her face. “You’re being paranoid with all this hypothetical talk that in no way resembles some other pony!”

Cadance sighed. “Auntie… I know you don’t want to talk about her, but maybe it’s time you and I—”

“Oh, whoever could you be speaking about, my little pony?!” Celestia said in a happy, nervous tone. “The baby?! There’s no need to be coy!”

Cadance narrowed her eyes. “You know exactly who I’m…”

“We can talk about the baby right now!” Celestia exclaimed. “We are talking about the baby right now!”

“Sister…?” Luna uttered. “You’re acting rather stra—”

“Oh, have you thought about a name for the baby yet?!” Celestia said. “How about… Sunshine Glitter!”

Baggy eyes narrowed, Cadance’s features tightened into an unamused expression. “Gee, auntie. That sounds an awful lot like—”

“No! You’re right!” Celestia exclaimed. Oh gosh… Oh gosh! That train was getting ever so close and she was still stuck! “That name came right out of nowhere! I don’t know what I was thinking when I—”

Shining Armor’s muffled voice eked in through the closed purple double doors of the nursery. “Before we go in, I should probably tell you” –

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief as she freed herself just in time to avoid being smashed between two mental trains representing the mares she was talking to. “Oh, Twilight must be here! Now let’s just drop this conversation… forever!”

Cadance rolled her eyes as Luna attempted to drench Celestia in an inquisitive expression.

– “Seeing the baby might be a bit of a shock,” Shining Armor continued.

The nursery door’s sparkled before opening with a purple glow. “Come on, big brother,” Twilight said as she looked behind her. “I’ve seen babies before. I expected meet—”

“Hey, Twilight?” a feminine voice called out.

Celestia went straight as a board. A new whistle blared louder than she had ever heard before and the rhythmic ‘CLICKITY-CLACK’ from what had to be the largest mental train Celestia had ever had the misfortune to be standing in front of became deafening. She let out a whisper-quiet, terrified scream.

“Sister?!” Luna asked in concern. “You look pale…er…”

Cadance’s head jerked towards the door. “That voice, it can’t be…”

“I was not prepared for today…” Celestia uttered as her eyes darted nervously around the nursery she had to get away from the orange train before it ground her under its hooves… er… WHEELS into an alabaster paste.

Twilight gave an exasperated sigh and stopped in the middle of the room. “What is it Sunset?”

“Cadance has to be in there right?” Sunset asked from outside the room.

Twilight looked at Cadance who stared back at Twilight with wide, terrified eyes. “Uh… Yes? She looks… erm… tired…?”

“Oh, my gosh, Twilight!” Sunset uttered as the sound of approaching hoofsteps sounded from the crystal floor outside. “Tell me you didn’t just—

“Luna, quick!” Celestia cried. With a yellow glow of her Celestia’s horn, Luna was soon airborne as Celestia dove for a crystal door.

“—walk by your sister-in-law and ex-foalsitter without—”

“Sister?!” Luna exclaimed. “That is a—”

In a fraction of a second, the door was opened as Celestia dove inside, taking Luna with her and closing the door behind the royal mares.

Luna let out a sigh as everything went dark and her world became one of ruffled feathers, her sister’s mane draped over her face, and various wooden handles poking her in the body. “— utility closet.”

Chapter 6: Trapped in the Closet

Author's Note

Hello and thanks for sticking with this for as long as you have, dear readers.

Let's give a warm welcome to the 'sex' tag! Wow 'sex' tag... It's been like... one story since I didn't add you when it became apparent that I couldn't in good conscious leave you out? Please don't invite your friends 'gore' and 'dark'. This is strictly a don't tell 'g' and 'd' party.

Special thanks to Tired Old Man for editing and advice as well as probably a few lines we cooked up talking about the baby well before the Crystalling aired. Also thanks to nobody dreamer for reminding me that Pinkie sense is totally a thing. Why didn't that go off anytime during the two parter where we had alicorn baby and almost complete destruction of the Crystal Empire? The world may never know.

Chapter 6: Trapped in the Closet

Chapter 6: Trapped in the Closet

The group of ponies and one dragon trotted down a long, massive hallway, the ponies’ hooves making contact with the smooth, almost reflective floor and producing a gentle ‘clip-clop’ sound that echoed off the white crystal walls which towered high, high above the ponies into a vaulted ceiling where sunshine poured in through clear crystals skylights. Passing by pony-high crystal clusters each with a single cylindrical crystal support column that shot up all the way to the ceiling, Shining Armor stopped the group in front of a set of purple double doors. These doors were over three times taller than a unicorn measured hooves to horn which ended in a point with a light-purple splotch at the top and a pink heart in the center. Over the doors was a teal arch with small light blue hearts leading up to a giant light blue butterfly, and above that was a shining pink crystal heart.

Sunset Shimmer looked at the door, then glanced around at her surroundings. “Wow… that’s got to be the biggest nursery in all Equestria…”

Shining moved towards the side of the door and looked at every pony, his eyes settling on Twilight Sparkle before her spoke, “Before we go in, I should probably tell you… Seeing the baby might be a bit of a shock,” Shining Armor continued.

The nursery door’s sparkled before opening with a purple glow. “Come on, big brother,” Twilight said as she trotted into the nursery, looking back at her brother. “I’ve seen babies before. I expected meet—”

“Hey, Twilight?” Sunset called out.

Twilight gave an exasperated sigh and stopped in the middle of the room. “What is it, Sunset?”

“Cadence has to be in there, right?” Sunset asked as she looked into the room.

Twilight looked around the room and replied, “Uh… Yes? She looks… erm… tired…?”

“Oh, my gosh, Twilight!” Sunset uttered as she trotted towards the nursery. “Tell me you didn’t justwalk by your sister-in-law and ex-foalsitter without—”

“ACK!” Pinkie cried as her entire body began to shake as she sat on her haunches. Despite her sitting position, she still bounced off the smooth floor up and down several inches. “Oh my gosh! Something big is going to happen girls!”

Sunset paused and turned towards Pinkie. “So… I should… not go in here?”

Pinkie shook her head and giggled. “Oh, something big is probably going to happen no matter what you do, so you might as well go in.”

“Er… Okay…?” Sunset said.

Starlight shook her head. “Maybe this really isn’t such a great idea.”

Sunset dropped her eyelids as her eyes shifted to glare at Starlight. “Starlight, I swear if you keep trying to put a stop to me talking to my adopted cousin to get out of talking to Sunburst, I will make farting noises with my mouth the entire time you try to talk to him.”

Starlight’s eyes shot open and she clenched her teeth into a massive cringe that she elected to keep on her face.

Spike chuckled. “That sounds fun! Count me in.”

Her teeth still clenched, Starlight let out a tiny, high-pitched noise of distress.

Pinkie giggled. “Maybe I should go with all you three… I love making farting noises!” Pinkie said as she placed both forehooves up to her mouth and blew hard enough that her cheeks puffed out. “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTHTTTTTTTHTTTTTT!”

Sunset shot a wide, devilish grin at Starlight, whose eyes darted between Sunset and Pinkie with a look of total abject horror.

“If we don’t all die, that is,” Pinkie added. “We might all die!” she said in an eerily chipper tone.

Fluttershy let out yet another distressed squeak for the day.

“Cheer up, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said as she zipped up to the timid pegasus. “We all have to die someday! It’s just that someday might be today and because of Pinkie Sense we have ample reason to believe that!” Pinkie said with a massive grin as she held her face a hair’s width away from Fluttershy’s.

Fluttershy let out a sad whimper as she backed her head away from Pinkie, her hooves seemingly stuck in place. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity collectively sighed and shook their heads at Pinkie. Shining Armor snored loudly as he leaned against the crystal doorframe of the nursery.

Inside the room, Twilight’s eyes shifted as she looked in confusion at the utility closet her former mentor and her mentor’s sister just disappeared into, the crib in front of her, and then finally Cadance. Cadance, who was shaking in place with chattering teeth and looking out the nursery door as if some sort of horrible monster was waiting right outside to swallow her whole. Twilight shook her head as if clearing the confusion from it and picked something to address first. “Cadance? Are… are you alright…?”

Cadance turned towards Twilight. “Fa-fine!” she said as she clamped down on her teeth to get them to stop chattering. “Ne… never better!”

Twilight smiled warmly. “You must really need a break!”

“A… a break! …. Sure…”

Still smiling, Twilight nodded. “Well, that’s what I’m here for! Also… sorry about… you know…” Twilight said with a sheepish look.

Cadance gulped and glanced towards the door again.

Twilight continued, “I guess I got so caught up in wanting to see the baby, I almost forgot to say hello!” Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. “Guess I have Sunset Shimmer to thank for that!”

Cadance’s head twitched ever so slightly. “Oh… that… It-it’s alright…” Cadance said as she quickly painted a light smile onto her face over the heavily colored, dark fear she was already wearing. The colors of the smile proved insufficient as fear continued to bleed out onto her features. “So! You… you brought Sunset Shimmer with you...” she said, the statement coming out almost like a question.

“Er… Uh-huh…” Twilight said with a small nod. “She’s uh… she’s helping me with a new friendship student and said something about wanting to talk to you personally.”

Cadance’s eyes shot open wide as her black pupils began to drown in a mass of twin amethyst seas. “Oh…OH!” Cadance said with mock excitement. Her next word came out in a whisper. “Ga-good!”

“Uh… Twilight?” Sunset asked. “Can I come in now?”

“… Sure?” Twilight said as she tilted her head and looked over Cadance in worry. “I mean, everypony can come in… I don’t think there’s a reason for everypony to stand outside…”

Cadance’s knees began knocking against each other as her sets of teeth clattered against each other.

“Uh… Cadance?“

“Finally!” Sunset huffed at as she trotted in. Her eyes immediately settled on Cadance as she gave the pink alicorn a warm smile. “Hey, cuz! Long time, no—”

“Oh, Celestia!” Cadance cried as she threw her forehooves over her face and collapsed to the floor. “PleeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeease don’t kill me!”

Sunset grimaced.

“Sister!” a muffled voice called out from a nearby set of doors. “You are summoned!”

“Shhh!” a muffled reply shushed out.

One of Sunset’s ears flicked as she turned to stare at the purple crystal door the muffled voices had just come out of.

“Sunset!” Twilight cried out angrily. “What did you do?!”

Sunset waved a forehoof dismissively. “Years of verbal and emotional abuse all because I was a resentful, stuck-up, selfish, possessive mare with mommy issues,” she answered as she crept closer to the door were the muffled voices had come from. “I mean… You should have figured that out by now given what your brother said about three or four times.”

“Wait…” Twilight said as she dwelled on this. “CADANCE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU?!”

“Shhhh!” Sunset shushed as she raised a forehoof to her lips. She examined the purple door carefully as her horn glowed turquoise, a glow that surrounded the knob to the purple door. “I sense something… a presence I’ve not felt since—”

A loud, gravelly noise of someone clearing their throat loudly caused Sunset to stop. She turned to see Spike tapping his foot impatiently and motioning to Cadance, who continued to cower on the floor. Starlight peered worriedly at the pink alicorn, then looked up to share the look with Sunset. The other mares besides Twilight stared into the room with either curiosity or anger directed at Sunset. Twilight herself was coming up quite on top of the ‘angry’ list if expressions were anything to go by.

“Right! Sorry!” Sunset said as her glow disappeared from the knob and she turned to face Cadance. “I was going to-Gee—”Sunset paused to look around the nursery “–This nursery is huge! Wow Cadance, talk about your little foal lucking out when it comes to parents and rooms, I just…” Sunset trailed off as she stared at the double purple doors that lead into the room. They were roughly as tall as two unicorns stacked on top of each other. “OH MY GOD!” Sunset cried. “HOW DID THAT DOOR SHRINK?! DON’T TELL ME THE CASTLE IS—”

Twilight began to growl out from between clenched teeth, “Suuuuunseeeeeet Shiiiiiimmeeeeeer…”

“Sorry, Twilight!” Sunset cried as she turned towards Twilight. “I’m just so angry right now, and—”

Cadance let out a terrified whimper.

“Oh my gosh!” Sunset exclaimed as she stared at Cadance apologetically. “Not at you Cadance! Just… there’s a ton of weird stuff going on here regarding this train and architecture… You know, things that absolutely should not change, and no one but me seems to notice and…” Sunset took a deep breath and smiled at Cadance who kept her head covered as she shook on the floor. “Let me start all over.” Sunset lowered herself so she was laying on her belly, looking directly at Cadance’s face, or rather the forelegs in front of her face. “Cadance… look… I’m sorry for… for… for well… Well, for everything! Literally everything I ever said or did to you… Just for… for every waking moment you had the misfortune of being in my presence where I was a grumpy, glaring… gangrenous—”

Pinkie nodded her head in approval.

“— teenaged filly who made your life harder! I’m sorry for all of it! You really didn’t deserve how I treated you at all.”

“Choke… Sob…”

The ponies all turned from the scene in front of them to stare at the purple door across the room which was apparently softly letting its emotions out as it witnessed the scene in front of it.

One of Sunset’s ears twitched again. “I swear, that sounds like…”

“SNIFFFFFFF… Really?”

Sunset turned back to see Cadance staring at her with glassy eyes and a fearful expression, but hopeful smile on her face.

Sunset smiled and nodded. “Yes! Really!” Sunset stood up and stretched her wings out to their full length.

Cadance stared up at the wings as her hopeful smile suddenly turned upside down into a hopeless look of despair.

Sunset continued, “And see! I’m an alicorn now, too!” Sunset said pointing at her wings. “ So I don’t have to be jealous of that difference, either! Oh and…” Sunset stuck out her tongue and stared up into dropped eyelids as her horn glowed turquoise and a small scroll flew out of Pinkie’s hair electing a surprised “Hey!” from the pink pony.

Sunset floated the list over to Cadance as she returned her wings to her sides. “And I composed a short list of names you can call me! You know… To start getting even with me.”

“Sunset!” Twilight began in a chastising tone. “Now, I’m not sure what exactly happened with you and Cadance, but you should know two wrongs don’t make a—”

Cadance eagerly snatched the list with a bright blue glow of her horn and poured her eyes over it.

Twilight sighed. “Never mind,” she said sheepishly.

Cadance giggled slightly as she read the list. “Ketchup and Mustard Mane Medley? I don’t really get ‘Bacon Hair’ but-hah- ‘Magical talking campfire?’” Cadance said with a grin.

Sunset smiled happily. “You can thank your husband for that one!”

Cadance rolled up the list with her magic and gave Sunset a small smile. “Thanks Sunset! These are a lot better than the names I came up for you back when we were teenagers.”

Still smiling, Sunset swallowed. “You… you came up with names for me?”

Cadance nodded. “Sure… Just things like… Oh… little orange tyrant… Equestria’s youngest megalomaniac… the last living thing I’ll see before I die in a horrible fire that Sunset will probably make look like an accident.”

Sunset somehow maintained her smile as her face seemed to turn a lighter shade of orange. “Cl-classic!” she said, her voice cracking slightly. She shook her head and reached down a foreleg towards Cadance. “Now why don’t you get up off the floor! Don’t worry! I won’t bite!”

Cadance stared at Sunset’s foreleg in uncertainty then tentatively stretched out her own.

Sunset looped her foreleg around Cadance’s and brought the pink alicorn up to her hooves. She turned to Starlight with a smile. “See! That wasn’t so hard.”

Starlight sighed and gave Sunset a small smile.

“Atta girl, Sunset!” Spike said as he pumped a fist into the air.

Sunset turned towards Cadance and held up a foreleg into the air as she spread her wings again. “Now, cuz, how about you and I share a nice, warm family hu—”

Cadance let out a terrified shriek and pressed herself against the nearest wall, covering her face as she went back to shivering.

Sunset’s smile twitched ever so slightly. “Alright! We’re not there yet!” she said in a chipper tone. “Message received! Yaknowwhat? Raincheck!” Sunset said as she pointed towards Cadance with a forehoof, her wings retracting towards her body.

“No really,” Twilight said as she looked at Sunset with an unamused expression. “What the hay—”

Twilight was suddenly cut off as Applejack exclaimed a “Whoa there, pardner,” Fluttershy murmured an “Oh my…” Pinkie let out an “Eek!” Rarity uttered a “My word…” and Rainbow Dash exclaimed a “Dude, uncool!”

Twilight turned towards the crib and took a deep breath. “Okay, what just happened?” she asked Sunset.

Sunset rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry, Twilight… Guess coming on this trip meant dealing with some of my own personal family stuff…”

“Okay,” Twilight said with a nod. “Why didn’t you tell me anything about this?”

Sunset narrowed her eyes at Twilight. “Because it was sort of personal? I don’t need to tell you everything, Twilight!”

Twilight pointed at Starlight and Spike. “But you can tell them?! Why?! Because I’m not in the secret orphan club?!”

“… Well…” Spike began as he scratched at a cheek, “I mean, it’s not secret since you already know about it…”

“Not my point, Spike!” Twilight cried.

Sunset let out an exasperated groan and put on a mock smile. “Well, Gee Twilight, I’d love to tell you all about my personal past family life, but I’m sure it’s already messed up your perfect list as it is and Spike, Starlight, and I really should—”

“Oh, HEY!” Starlight suddenly piped up. “Look, a baby! Perhaps one or more of us should go up to it and watch as it does… er…” Starlight smiled nervously. “… Baby stuff?”

Sunset turned and narrowed her eyes at Starlight, pointed a forehoof at her own turquoise accusing orbs, then leveled the same forehoof at Starlight.

Starlight met the forehoof with a nervous grin and a gulp.

Twilight took a deep breath and trotted to the crib, a happy smile on her face. “Alright, let’s see this baby Shining was so intent on warning me about,” she said as Spike and the other mares minus Cadance trotted up to the crib to take a look.

Twilight got up to the edge and looked down at the pinkish-white sleepy-looking, smiling foal with a purple mane with a light-blue streak in it and a… okay, yes… that horn looked to be the size of a fully-grown unicorn’s horn, but the baby was so cutely wrapped up in a baby-blue blanket and… Oh! The baby was moving and… Oh… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooohhh…

The baby unfurled wings that stretched out several feet away from its body as it looked up at Twilight with big, sky blue eyes and cooed up at her with a happy look on its face.

All the ponies stared down at the baby, completely awestruck at what they were seeing.

For a moment, no pony said nothing. Did nothing. Nothing except stare at the giggling pony with a fully-developed bone saber on its forehead and condor wings sticking out of it.

Sunset Shimmer finally spoke up, doing a 180 to look at Cadance. “Oh my GOD, Cadance! How the heck did you get that baby out of you?!”

Twilight turned to glare irately at Sunset. “Sunset!” she snapped.

“What?!” Sunset protested. “I’m just saying what every pony here is thinking!” Sunset turned towards the other ponies for confirmation. “Right?”

Mouths hanging agape, Starlight and Fluttershy merely nodded their heads up and down.

“Oh my, agreed,” Rarity said. She flinched. “That had to have hurt.”

With eyes the size of saucers, Spike stared at the baby’s massive wingspan. “Much wing… Very big… So huge… Wow!”

“Holy crud!” Pinkie said. “I’m like half made of rubber and even I have no clue how she got all that baby out of her!”

Applejack shook her head. “And I thought cows had it bad when it came to givin’ birth.”

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack accusingly. “Did you just call Cadance a cow?!”

Applejack turned and glared at Rainbow. “Excuse you racist, but some of my best friends are cows.”

Rainbow Dash sighed and held up her hooves. “Right, fair ‘nuff. And yeah, wondering how Cadance squeezed that out of her pony hole was the very first thing I thought about.”

Twilight winced. “Rainbow Dash!” she said in a chastising tone.

“What?!” Rainbow Dash motioned to the baby. “It’s impressive! Cadance deserves a medal or a trophy or something!”

Pinkie let out a thoughtful hum as she rubbed at her chin with a forehoof. “Is ‘vag’ three letters or four?”

Twilight gritted her teeth. “We are not getting Cadance a trophy for giving birth, regardless of how difficult it might have been!”

Cadance frowned at Twilight. “You don’t think I deserve a trophy?”

Twilight closed her eyes and raised a forehoof to her head. “We are maybe getting Cadance a trophy for giving birth, and ‘vag’ is three letters, Pinkie.”

Pinkie smiled and gleefully pulled a marker out of her hair with a forehoof, placing it in her mouth before she put the hoof back on the ground and cheerily wrote an upside-down ‘V’ followed by an ‘A’ then a ‘G’ on it.

“SERIOUSLY!” Sunset exclaimed as she batted at one of the babies wings. The baby cooed playfully and waved it full set of legs in the direction of Sunset as Sunset turned back towards Cadance. “HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET HER OUT?! A PLUNGER?!”

Cadance grimaced. “NO! BUT, WHY DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE THIS?!” She cried as she motioned to her face and mane, highlighting the tiredness in her eyes and tangled mess of her hair.

“GOOD POINT, BUT THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION AT ALL!”

“BELIEVE ME SUNSET—”

The baby let out a short, but loud, distressed cry.

Cadance lowered her voice. “Believe me Sunset, you don’t want to know.”

Sunset shook her head. “Oh, no! No-no-no-no! I’ve let plenty of other questions about physics slip by, but I’m not going to just let it slide that the baby, oh, totally adorable by the way—”

Cadance smiled. “Thank you.”

Sunset smiled back. “You’re welcome!” Her smiled dropped along with her eyelids and forehead. “Anyhow, that baby was in you and now it’s not… How?!”

Cadance sighed. “You’re going to regret asking…”

“I’ll regret not knowing more!”

Cadance looked around as she noticed every pair of eyes was looking at her expectantly. Even Twilight seemed to be eagerly awaiting an explanation. She sighed. “Butter… the answer is ‘an entire tub of butter’. There, you happy?”

The ponies plus Spike all uttered a series of disgusted sounds with “Ew” taking the lead with the odd “Oh my,” and “Yucky!” thrown in for good measure.

Cadance rolled her eyes. “I told you~” she said in a soft sing-song tone.

Sunset shook her head. “I’m not going to say I stand corrected, but ‘ick’ though.”

The baby let out a happy burble as it began to suck on one of its forehooves.

“So… uh…” Twilight began. “Should we tackle the second issue of the baby being an alicorn?”

Starlight nodded. “It would seem to be a topic worth noting, yes…”

Rainbow Dash answered, “I’m still trying to get my mind off Cadance’s pony hole!”

There was a brief bout of accusatory silence followed by a quiet “Oh my!” from Fluttershy.

“Not like that, everypony!” Rainbow Dash cried. “Geez…”

Everyone remained silent with only Starlight not staring at Rainbow with just the hints of condemning glints in their eyes.

Rainbow’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Okay… it’s a little like that,” Rainbow Dash admitted.

Rarity turned to Fluttershy as she tried to process everything she was seeing. “But... But... But I thought alicorn wings had to be earned by accomplishing some great, princess-worthy deed!”

Other ponies present nodded in agreement.

“Yeah,” Applejack chimed in. “How can you just be born with 'em?”

Pinkie suddenly started a coughing fit. “Cough-cough-couBUYOURTOYSgh-cough!” She smiled at everpony. “Oh, excuse me! I have a little HasbroErIMeanFrog in my throat!” she said punctuating her sentence with a “Ribbit.”

Spike scratched his cheek. “You know the fact that she made it out of Cadance with well… all that—” he said as he motioned towards the baby “—is sort of princess worthy in itself… I mean.. I guess she had that stuff before she was born…” Spike glanced up at the ceiling. “Guess it’s sorta a dragon/egg sort of deal.”

Fluttershy looked over the alicorns in the room with an unsure expression. “Erm… Does the fact she was born with an alicorn make any of you mad?”

All eyes in the room suddenly fell on Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset seemed to regard the sets of peepers on her with a slight bit of surprise. “What? Why should I be mad at this?” She looked over at Cadance and smiled warmly. “If anypony deserves to win the baby lottery, it’s my dear cousin Cadance.”

Cadance eyes opened wide in surprise as her features seemed to relax slightly, adding to the melted appearance her face was already heading towards. “A’wwwwww…” she uttered, many of the other ponies present joining in.

In stark contrast, Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and pointed to it with a forehoof in a ‘gag me’ fashion.

Spike leaned up towards Starlight. “Man, she is good!” he said as he looked at Sunset.

Starlight nodded her head up and down. “I know, right?” She replied in a hushed tone. “I mean… I think she was serious, but, wow, was that fast thinking!”

Sunset’s eyes opened wide as realization flooded in. She glanced at her wings then at Cadance “Oh! So like… My wings freaked you out so much because of the baby?” she asked hopefully.

Cadance gave Sunset a sheepish smile. “Well, that’s part of it…”

Sunset frowned. “What was the other part…?”

Cadance rubbed the back of her head. “Promise you won’t get mad.”

Sunset winced. “I can’t in good conscience promise that, but I can promise I’ll let everypony here tackle me and throw me out if I lose my cool.” Sunset turned towards the other ponies in the room, “Okay, everypony?”

The other ponies and Spike all nodded.

Sunset turned to Cadance expectedly.

Cadance sighed and gave Sunset a sad smile. “Honestly, the idea of you as an alicorn was objectively terrifying to me. Still is to some extent, actually…” Cadance finished before she quickly turned her face and raised a forehoof in front of it.

“… Oh…” Sunset said in a sad tone as her ears flopped down around her head.

Cadance turned back towards Sunset in surprise. “Oh but…” Cadance took a deep breath. “Just… give me little bit to think all this over, okay? I mean… I’m really tired with the new baby and… I’m sure I’ll feel better about the alicorn change after I’ve had time to think about it.”

“Okay…” Sunset answered with a soft sob. With concerned looks on their faces, Spike and Starlight walked up to Sunset and patted her on the back.

Cadance frowned deeply as she looked at Sunset. “Sunset… I’m sorry… I didn’t want to make you cr—”

“HEeEeEeY!” Pinkie cried in a bubbly tone as she bounded in between Cadance and Sunset. Without warning, she broke into a little ditty as she hopped up and down.

Pinkie raised Sunset’s face up so she could smile widely at the sad alicorn. “There’s no need for tears!”

Pinkie turned towards Cadance who recoiled from Pinkie just a bit. “Just put away your fears!”

Pinkie grabbed one of the baby’s wings, causing it to giggle. “‘Cause although big wings might snaaag!“

Applejack’s eyes shot open wide. “She’s not…”

Pinkie pulled a huge tub marked ‘butter’ out of her pink curls. “Just spread butter on your VAAAAAAG!”

Rainbow Dash’s wings went ridged causing her to fall slightly before she caught herself.

Rarity raised a forehoof to her head. “She is…”

Pinkie dashed over to point at the baby’s horn. “And horns can grow really huge!”

She zipped over to Cadance and pointed between her hind legs. “But with lube you’ll squeeze it out your cooze!”

Pinkie zipped back to motion at the baby with both forehooves. “And now an alicorn baby is here!”

She pointed at Cadance’s rump. “‘Cause Shining didn’t stick it in Cadance’s REA—”

Fluttershy’s wings suddenly popped up.

“PINKIE!” Twilight cried. “For the love of Celestia! Please stop!”

Pinkie shot a miffed frown at Twilight’s direction. “Fine! I’ll save it for the award ceremony! My point is the baby is both a unicorn and a pegasus!”

Applejack shook an angry hoof at Pinkie. “And earth pony, ya self-hating varmint!”

“Oh, right!” Pinkie said. “She’s part unicorn, part pegasus, and part earth pony! She could be super strong, a super strong flier, and have crazy baby magic!” Pinkie’s head suddenly turned 45 degrees with a snap as an eerily large smile suddenly appeared on her face and curls of her hair suddenly came loose like springs no longer held in place. “And I think I now know how we’re all going to die!” she said in a chipper tone as she quickly grinded her teeth together.

Sunset rolled her eyes as Starlight and Spike shared a shrug.

Twilight shook her head. “Pinkie, there’s no way the baby can—”

The baby sniffled as its face contorted, wrinkled its nose, and let out a sneeze accompanied by a cloud of baby-delivered germs and a massive, radiant blast of pure magic that fired straight up from the baby’s horn. The blast effortlessly destroyed and melted crystal floors and ceilings until it ended in a dark hole many floors above the massive nursery room.

All the ponies plus Spike stared up at the massive magically blasted hole in front of them. A wide-eyed pony with an orange-red coat, light green eyes, and purple mane that was still smoldering at the tips looked back down at the ponies below.

For a few moments, it was quiet again, save for the gentle burbles from the baby as it rubbed its nose.

Sunset Shimmer once again elected to be the first to speak up.

“That.”

“Was.”

“AWESOME!”

Sunset smiled giddily as she stared wide eyed at the baby, practically dancing in place. “And I wantone! I don’t care how much butter it takes to get it out of me!” She turned to Twilight with a slightly mad grin on her face. “Twilight! Where’s Shining Armor? Did we prop him up outside or…”

“Oh my GOSH, Sunset Shimmer!” Twilight exclaimed. “You are NOT just using my brother so you can have an alicorn baby put in you!”

Sunset pursed her lips into a pout. “Why not?”

Twilight motioned towards Cadance. “Because he’s married! And that’s just the first thing on top of the long list I’m going to compose on this subject.”

Sunset’s eyes widened as she looked at Cadance apologetically. “Cadance… I’m so sorry… I just got a little excited.”

Cadance just nodded as she stared up at the new hole in the ceiling. “It’s… it’s okay, Sunset… I’m sure we’re all not quite sure how to react to what we just saw…”

Sunset nodded. “Sooo… Ummm… Can I borrow your husband?”

A series of surprised gasps escaped the crowd, with the exception of Rainbow Dash who snickered.

“WHAT?!” Cadance cried.

“No, no, no, you’re right… Too far! Too far!” Sunset said as she waved a forehoof in front of her. “Three-way! I’m totally fine with a three-way!”

“Sunset!” Cadance cried. “We are definitely not there yet!”

Sunset’s face lit up. “So you’re saying that if I work hard to repair our relationship then you’ll let your husband put a baby in me?!” she asked excitedly.

Cadance’s face contorted in confusion. “Grrr… Arggg…” she uttered from her twisted lips.

“That wasn’t a nOoOoOoOoO~!” Sunset sang happily as she bounded up and down.

Starlight looked at Spike. “Is it… Is it always this crazy with these girls?” she asked motioned out towards the ponies around them.

Spike shook his head. “Song about an alicorn coming out of a pony’s girl parts and Sunset propositioning someone for a threeway in front of a sister of one of the potential participants? Naw… Consider the bar raised.”

Twilight collapsed on the floor. “This… this is a nightmare…”

Sunset stroked a cheek thoughtfully. “So like… How do you imagine us doing it? Do you want all three of us going at once? Maybe get a second super-baby with crazy powers for yourself? Or like… Do you just want to watch? I mean… I’m good with either…”

“Er, um…” Fluttershy uttered. “You could always take turns.”

Sunset smiled and pointed at Fluttershy. “There we go! A third option! Maybe we should brainstorm this.”

“Fluttershy!” Twilight cried. “Why are you helping?!”

Fluttershy blushed slightly. “Er… I don’t know… I guess… I guess I was hoping if I help I could maybe be brought on as an advisor or a consultant… or you know… choreographer.”

Twilight’s eyes exploded open in all directions like shimmering purple fireworks. “You want to… choreograph some bizarre attempt of Sunset to have a baby put in her by my brother while Cadance… watches or takes turns or-Why am I even talking about this?!”

“It’s okay, Twilight,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “Your input on this project is appreciated.”

Sunset smiled at Fluttershy. “I am not sure how this turned into some sort of collaboration project, but I’m somehow also not put off by it! We’ll just have to talk over the details with my co-producer here!” Sunset said as she motioned towards Cadance.

“... Yay!” Fluttershy quietly exclaimed.

Cadance stared up at the giant holes in the massive hole in the ceiling. “I… I don’t think I’ve ever needed sleep more in my life than right now.”

From the floor, Twilight let out a sigh. “I second that, and I haven’t even been up for days on end. At least things can’t get any…”

Sunset winced. “No, Twilight! Don’t say it!”

“What? Say things can’t get any worse?!”

‘AAAACHEEEW!’

‘PHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!’

Just like that, a second hole was suddenly in the ceiling.

“YES!” Sunset cried. She turned towards the baby. “Oh my GOSH! So much WANT!”

Pinkie’s head turned, with a sickening ‘crack’ it was now 90 degrees from its upright position. “Welp, if anypony needs me, I’m just going to spend the last moments of my life doing what I love! SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS! AH! AAAAAH! OH PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA! PLEASE SAVE US! AAAAAH!”

Quite surprisingly, the purple door at the other side of the room suddenly flew open as Princess Luna jumped out, hitting the floor as brooms and mops flew off in all directions. “Sister! We are summoned!” Luna cried heroically as she lifted a back leg and kicked away a metal bucket from her hoof.

“Luna, no!” Celestia cried from the closet as she lifted a bucket from over her eyes and vainly reached out with a forehoof.

“Nay, sister!” Luna replied. “I cannot sit idly by, cowering in a closet while ponies need our help!”

‘AAAACHEEEW!’

‘PHOOOOOOOO—

Luna’s eyes shot open wide as a giant beam of magic flew directly towards her. With an azure glow of her horn a glittering shield like millions of swirling, shimmering stars appeared in front of her not a moment before the massive beam of energy crashed into it, sending stars flying in all directions.

—OOOOOOOOOOOM’

As the beam dissipated, taking Luna’s energy shield with it, Luna turned back towards the closet. “Sister? I am reconsidering my position on both closets and cowering.”

Celestia wasn’t looking at Luna, nor was she looking at the baby which almost accidently disintegrated her sister. She was instead looking at a pair of eyes… Beautiful turquoise eyes that seemed to be erupting with red veins that pulsated with pure rage as they spider-web cracked across their surroundings and blared sirens signaling the inevitability of what was about to come.

The train was coming. It was coming faster and louder than ever before and Celestia had but one trick left to keep it from effortlessly running her down.

Celestia took a deep breath.

She met Sunset’s gaze with a determined look of her own.

She pulled the bucket back down over her eyes.

Finally with a yellow glow of her horn, Celestia closed the closet door.

“Huh…” Spike uttered, “I didn’t know Princess Celestia and Luna would be here.”

“Yeah,” Starlight chimed in. “Wow is there a lot going on today.”

Sunset slowly turned towards Twilight. “Twilight, why didn’t you tell us that Celestia would be here?” she asked in a surprisingly calm, if irritated tone.

“Well… Cadance is Celestia’s adopted niece so it…” Twilight trailed off as she caught the look Sunset was giving her. Despite the fairly calm tone she had spoken in, the look in Sunset’s eyes made her previous wrathful outbursts seems like restrained commentary about unfortunate weather. Twilight was quite unsure if she had seen anypony look just so… so incredibly, incurably angry in her entire life.

“It what, Sparkle?!” Sunset said with a bit more force.

Twilight took a few steps back as panic gripped Cadance’s features.

“Shining!” Cadance cried as she dashed outside. “I have to get Shining!”

As Twilight fearfully met Sunset’s volcanically rage-filled gaze, she continued, “I guess… I guess I just thought it was obvious and… Not worth saying…?”

Cadance rushed back into the room, carrying a half-conscious Shining Armor behind her in a blue glow. She propped him up next to the baby’s crib and shook him by the shoulders with her forehooves. “Honey! Shield around us and the baby! Soundproof and energy proof! Now!”

“Sure, lovely…” Shining said with sleepy smile. “I’ll just... hnnng…” Shining closed his eyes tightly as a few errant lavender sparks shot from his horn before it went dim.

“Oh, here!” Cadance cried as she stood up on her hind legs, placed her forehooves on either side of Shining’s horn and stroked it up and down vigorously a few times before it gave a spurt of purple energy followed by a dome of shimmering purple energy the surrounded himself, Cadance, and the baby’s crib.

Twilight clenched her eyes hard, wincing like she had never winced before. “I really wish I hadn’t seen that.”

“NoT wOrTh SaYiNg?!”

Twilight bit at her lower lip as she turned towards Sunset, her ears having folded around her head as the fear in her eyes increased. Sunset was no longer speaking in her regular tone, but the deeper, slightly reverberating tone of the demon she had once turned into.

Spike felt a shiver run through his body. “Oh, that’s not good…”

Starlight looked at Spike, looked at Sunset, then looked at Twilight. Swallowing as she wondered if things would actually get violent this time... Could she stop the ensuing chaos if it came to that? Would she have to pick between two friends?!

“YoU rEpEaTeD YoUr BrOtHeR’s NaMe AnD CaDaNcE’s NaMe AlMoSt A DoZeN TiMeS ToDaY, BuT nO MeNtIoN Of CeLeStIa?”

Twilight ducked to her belly and covered her head. “I’m sorry! I just didn’t think about it, alright?! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Princess Twilight?” Luna asked as she shot a wary eye at the orange alicorn who glowered with the wrath of an angry god down at Twilight. “Who is this alicorn?” Luna squinted as she looked at Sunset’s flank. “That… That cutie mark! That’s…”

Sunset suddenly looked up at Luna, or rather past Luna to the closet behind her.

Luna couldn’t help but shudder as Sunset’s eyes seemed to blaze right past her.

“WeLl, I sUpPoSe It DoEsN’t MaTtEr AnYmOre…” Sunset uttered as she focused her blazing eyes on the closet.

“St-stop…” Luna uttered. “If you’re intent is to hurt my sis—”

“Princess Luna! Get out of the way!” Cadance called out as she stuck her head out from Shining’s barrier. Shining himself simply leaned against the crib, his eyes half-open.

“Princess Cadance?!” Luna called out. “But… my sister! Your auntie!” Luna said in a pleading tone.

“Trust me!” Cadance said. “It’s the only way.”

Luna took one more fear-filled glance at Sunset and swallowed. “If… if you are certain…” she said as she stepped to the side.

Her view unblocked, the corners of Sunset’s lips flew upwards and outwards in a supernova class demonic smile.

“... Eeyup!” Applejack said simply as she looked over the scene around her. Taking stock of her friends, she noted both Rarity and Fluttershy had determined the best course of action was to find a pillar and hide behind it. Pinkie’s head had disturbingly turned a whole 180, her crescent smile appropriately turned upside down. In stark contrast, Rainbow Dash smiled widely and expectantly, as if she was waiting for a show to start. Spike and Starlight continuously looked over Sunset and Twilight, the two apparently stuck in a conundrum over the actions they could possibly take.

Applejack’s eyes drifted over the areas of the nursery which could very well turn into multiple ground zeroes. Luna’s eyes darted back and forth between the closet and Sunset Shimmer. The baby and its parents were in a purple bubble, Cadance’s eyes going wide in panic as she grabbed her husband right before a blast silently fired off into the barrier from the crib. As Shining’s purple barrier began to wane, Cadance’s horn glowed bright blue and a second barrier appeared over the crib and the family. Twilight, mighty princess of magic who stood hoof to hoof with the strongest foes Applejack had seen, was still lying on the floor and covering her head with her forelegs. Finally she looked towards Sunset, who took a few resolute steps towards the closet, a black void emanating from her horn accompanied by electric blue sparks before said void seemed to collapse in on itself, replaced by a blazing flame that shot up into the vaulted roof of the nursery.

“I reckon Pinkie was right,” Applejack said with a nod. “We’re all gonna die here.”

Chapter 7: You Can Never Go Home Again, but You Can Carry Years of Anger and Regret with You Wherever You Go!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 8: The Old In and Out and then Back In Again.

Chapter 8: The Old In and Out and then Back In Again.

The entire castle seemed to shake as another energy bolt ripped through the air, firing straight up through the new ‘sunroof’ that extended all the way down to the nursery below.

Celestia blinked a couple of times as her vision adjusted back to normal and the scorching heat she felt on her face subsided.

“Sister?” Luna said as she trotted up to the dazed Princess. “Perhaps you should give the baby a little more space. That last blast almost took off your face.”

Pinkie giggle snorted. “Hehe… It’s almost like Zecora’s here…”

Luna turned towards Pinkie and gave her a small smile. “I do occasionally visit our striped mutual friend.” Luna’s smile fell as she stared far off into space. “She doesn’t have nightmares often, but when she does they’re objectively terrifying.”

Celestia shook her head and rubbed at her eyes with a forehoof. “Indeed Luna, perhaps I should take a break.” Celestia gently caressed the side of the back of the baby’s head as the little alicorn slowly closed her eyes. “It appears her magic is more powerful than that of a newborn unicorn.”

“Oh God no! Not you too!”

Celestia’s eyes shot open wide as the new voice joined the group. All the other ponies, save Shining Armor who was still snoozing on the floor, ceased chatting with the each other and turned as Sunset Shimmer trotted into the nursery doorway. Sunset had already put on a sour look on her face that she leveled against Celestia.

Pinkie’s smile suddenly shot open to an unnervingly wide degree and her head bent with a ‘click’ to 90 degrees, then another ‘click’ to 180 degrees, and yet one more ‘click’ so that it had moved an entire 270 degrees. “Welp, sorry everypony! Looks like we’re that much closer to the end of our lives! Assume the panic position!”

Rainbow Dash hovered in place with a ponderous expression on her face as she looked between the baby, Sunset, and Celestia as if she was deciding whether she was in for a show or if she should duck and cover.

Pinkie and Fluttershy suddenly dove behind Applejack’s flank again. Rarity turned and stared at Applejack’s flank with a serious expression, perhaps actually attempting to gauge its ability to stop a magical blast or two.

Applejack sighed. “Really?”

Celestia made a mad dash for the utility closet, threw open the door, and jumped inside, closing it behind her.

Luna sighed. “Really?”

Cadance, who had been talking to Twilight, suddenly stopped moving her mouth, letting it hang slightly agape as she stared at Sunset with a tired look on her face.

Twilight let out a groan and turned towards Sunset. “Really?”

“Hey! Don’t give me that look!” Sunset protested. “I came to help with the world’s cutest threat to pony kin-ImeantheBABY! I was even going to try being nice to Celestia!”

Twilight gave Sunset a scrutinizing look.

“Alright! I was going to try ignoring her! Then she had to go and say that stupidly obvious thing about the baby!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Celestia had finally just stopped playing with the baby! I think she was actually going to start talking to everypony again!”

Sunset glanced at the closet. “Hey! I didn’t force her to jump into the closet! It’s not my fault she’s deciding to deal with her problem by hiding poorly and hoping it goes away.” Sunset turned to yell at the closed closet door. “It’s NOT, by the way!”

Luna she shot an annoyed look at the closet’s door. “I do not wish to go through the same rigmarole as before, so I’m skipping ahead a bit.” She turned to Pinkie. “Pinkie, I am once again in need of your assistance.”

Pinkie’s head suddenly spun back into place. “Okay!” she said cheerfully as she got up from behind Applejack’s flank. “But I’ll need a feather!”

Luna gave Pinkie a perplexed expression. “Very well…” she said as she extended a wing and picked out a large blue feather from them with her mouth.

“No, please wait!” Fluttershy pleaded as she reached out towards Pinkie. “I feel safest when I’m sandwiched between two big flanks.”

Pinkie winced slightly at Fluttershy’s comment. “Wow, that doesn’t feel nice!” she said as she collected the feather from Luna. She turned towards Rarity. “Rarity? I need you to help do my hair in a particular style.”

“Erm… Of course, dear,” Rarity replied. “I’d be happy to,” she said as she trotted over to Pinkie.

“Hah!” Applejack exclaimed as she pointed at Pinkie. “Hurts like a bee-sting in December, don’t it?”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “AJ, uh,why does the month matter?”

“Uh, ‘cause it’s colder in December and hurts more! Obviously.”

Rainbow Dash scratched her chin with the back of a hoof and stared up at the massive hole in the ceiling. “Wait… shouldn’t it hurt less ‘cause… I don’t know… You’re kinda numb because of the cold?”

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Do I pick apart your similes?!”

“No, because I don’t make any!” Rainbow Dash cried. “You’re the only pony I know who says this stuff and like… I don’t even think bees are active in the middle of winter! Where do you come up with all this?!”

“Hey! It’s not easy comin’ up with countryisms on the spot! They can’t all be as golden as the cider we Apples produce.”

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “I’m gonna let you have that one just because you mentioned cider…”

Across the room Twilight and Sunset continued their conversation.

“I thought you were helping Starlight!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Spike can handle it!” Sunset said with a dismissive wave of her forehoof. “If that stupid list of yours doesn’t screw it up, that is.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes and dropped her ears. “Excuse me?”

Sunset matched Twilight's irritated expression. “You heard me!”

“That ‘stupid list’ has been meticulously planned down to the most minute detail!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Right, because introducing even more levels the list can go wrong at should address the issue that it’s likely going to break down when applied to real life.”

Twilight glanced upwards, her expression still showing she was quite irritated. “So the list might have a few bugs in it. I’m sure Spike and Starlight can work around that if they encounter a slight hiccup.”

Sunset’s voice suddenly shifted from irritated to full-on angry. “Well maybe if you’d have tried using this method on another friendship problem before now, you’d at least have SOME idea of what to do ahead of time for when things inevitably don’t go according to plan!”

Cadance’s eyes widened slightly at Sunset’s outburst. “Er… I better keep an eye on the baby…” she said with a worried look as she trotted over to the crib.

Twilight pulled her head back as Sunset turned up the volume on her side of the conversation. She gave Sunset a perplexed look. “But… this is Starlight’s very first friendship lesson and she’s my first friendship pupil! When would I have an opportunity to try this out before?” Twilight thought for a moment. “I mean… I suppose if I there was more time, I could have maybe field tested a list with Spike, or maybe one of my friends here…”

Sunset clamped down on her teeth hard. She began shouting, “RIGHT! BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO COULD HAVE USED HELP WITH FRIENDSHIP!”

Twilight’s ears dropped down and she closed her eyes and turned her head as Sunset all but screamed at her. Once again, most of the eyes in the room where focused on Sunset and whichever pony she had ended up starting drama with this time.

Still looking away from Sunset, Twilight opened her eyes and put on a thoughtful expression, her eyes briefly darting back and forth as she stared at nothing in particular. After a few moments the widened, and she turned towards Sunset. “Sunset, I’m sorry I didn’t consider you before.”

Sunset let out a sigh and as her expression softened. “It’s alright, Twilight… As long as you see that now.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Of course! You’re absolutely a viable pony to help test the ‘Anytime Workshop Friendship-based Utility List.’”

Sunset felt a sudden and rather brutal shift in her emotional state, much as if they had been ran over by a large, purple ‘friendship bus’. Her head tilted sideways slightly as her facial muscles seemed to pull into a thousand different directions at once as her squashed psyche attempted to recover and come up with a response to what she had just heard and the incidental dismissal that came with it. Her mind reached out for the first thought could pull together. “I… You really think that’s a good name?”

Twilight shrugged. “I suppose it’s a bit of a mouthful, but I wanted to clearly convey the properties of the list in the title.”

Both of Sunset’s eyes began to twitch erratically. “Oh, it certainly does that, alright.”

“Ready! Let’s get this show on the road and a pony out of the closet!” Pinkie exclaimed as Rarity floated brushes and combs away from the pink mare’s hair. Pinkie’s hair had now been done up into cornrows and she approached the closet with a smile on her face.

“I’M NOT IN HERE!” Celestia cried from inside the closet.

Luna sighed and shook her head. “Not even going to dignify that one with a response, sister…”

Pinkie spoke up again, “Now everypony pipe down and let me pipe UP the music!”

“Alright, sister,” Luna said. “Just remember that you brought this on yourself!”

Pinkie began to sing, this time her tone a bit more in line with a rhythm and blues song instead of the normal upbeat rhyming scheme she tended to lean towards. “Now, I’ve been asked to come and get you out of the closet again! Man, this is some crazy—” Pinkie paused and glanced over at the baby “—STUFF! Why won’t you come out of the closet? And Celestia said…” Pinkie placed an ear against the closet door expectantly.

There was a beat of silence before a muffled “Oh…” came out of the closet followed by the sound of a throat clearing. “I’m not coming out of the closet, so you can just go away!” Celestia sang.

“But everypony wants you out the closet!”Pinkie sang back.

“That doesn’t matter ‘cause I’m going to stay!”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes, scrunched her nose, and pursed her lips. “Now I’m startin’ to get angry,” Pinkie reached down and pulled up the feather in one forehoof, and the baby in the other, “so I pull out my feather and killer magical alicorn BABY!”

The baby burbled happily and attempted to reach out for the large, dark blue feather. Cadance stared down at the crib in confusion, noting it was certainly now missing a baby.

Luna’s eyes suddenly flew open wide. “Sweet mother of my sister and me! Everypony dive for cover!” she cried as everypony but Pinkie, Twilight, Sunset, Cadance, and Shining Armor suddenly gathered together and huddled in a mass as best they could behind Applejack’s flank.

“Oh, come on!” Applejack protested as she looked behind her.

With a tired look on her face, Cadance trotted over to Shining Armor and put up a barrier around her and her husband.

Twilight and Sunset continued to stand in place, staring at Pinkie as she brandished the baby threateningly.

Sunset blinked a few times, deciding the current situation deserved her attention more than her conversation with Twilight which was now lying in the street, broken and perhaps even bleeding to death. She looked at Pinkie in front of the closet then across the room to the empty crib. “Okay... just… what? How did Pinkie get the baby?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You’re seriously questioning how Pinkie does anything?”

Sunset sighed. “Touché.”

Pinkie continued her song. “I’m gonna give you to the count of three to open this closet door, one – I’m gonna blast you with a baby, two – I’m gonna cap some wavy-haired bit—”

“Okay! Okay!” Celestia cried. “Just… Put down the baby.”

“Alright!” Pinkie answered cheerfully. She lowered the baby and the feather onto the ground. “Okay! You only have to worry about accidently being baby disintegrated now!”

The closet door began to slowly open, meanwhile the baby cooed playfully as it magically floated the feather to itself and began batting at it.

Cadance lowered her shield and winced. “Pinkie, given the current circumstances that might be more likely than you think. Can you please take the baby back to her crib?”

“Sure!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she lowered her head. “Ill get right—” Pinkie’s head suddenly shot straight up, her hair having returned to its normal curly glory. Her eyes opening wide with fear despite the massive grin on her face, both slightly covered by the baby who had latched onto her face and was giggling mirthfully. “The closer I am to danger the further I am from harm!” Pinkie said shrilly. “THE CLOSER I AM TO DANGER THE FURTHER I AM FROM HARM! Ahhhh! AAAAAAAHHHH!” Pinkie bolted one direction than the other as the baby giggled and burbled in delight.

Cadance sighed. “Good enough…”

Celestia stepped out of the closet once more. She avoided eye contact with Sunset as she once again removed cleaning supplies from herself. Sunset, in turn, merely rolled her eyes and said nothing. One by one, ponies left the huddled ‘safety mass’. Rainbow Dash sheepishly took flight once more right before Luna stood up and trotted over to a nearby window. With a pink hue on her cheeks, Rarity also left the relative safety of Applejack’s hindquarters. Fluttershy, however, opted to stay in place, much to Applejack’s chagrin.

“The crowds have already started to gather,” Luna commented while looking outside.

Applejack trotted over to the window and looked outside while Fluttershy cringed and dove behind the nearest pony’s flank.

Rarity looked behind her with an indignant look. “Alright, this is a tad bit insulting…”

“Woo-wee,” Applejack said as she gazed outside at the gathering group of both crystal and non-crystal ponies. “This is gonna be some shin-dig!”

“Hey! I’m the one who gets excited about parties!” Pinkie cried as the baby batted at the pink tuft of hair that dangled in front of her face. “How would you like it if I started doing countryisms when YOU'RE indisposed because there's a baby on your face?!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “But... Ah mean... There IS a baby on your face!”

Pinkie nodded her head up and down rapidly, causing the baby to giggle. “Right, but not on yours, so that means I'm free to do countryisms at will!” Pinkie cringed as she crossed her eyes with the tiny forehooves on them and pulled in her bottom lip to give herself the appearance of buck teeth. “Like… Like... This heer baby here is stuck on mah face tight’r thun an alien what hugs faces and whatnot.”

Applejack’s brow tightened. “Ah mean… I guess I’m sorta upset, or offended might be the better word, but also… ‘what’?”

Rainbow Dash shuttered slightly. “Hey, I just got a shiver down my spine for some reason…”

Applejack sighed. “Pinkie, you were plenty excited about a party hours ago, hootin’ and hollerin’ on the table! And it takes me just sayin shin-dig to dig under yer coat?!”

“At the shins, Applejack! The shins!” Pinkie exclaimed. Pinkie narrowed her eyes as best as she could with a baby grabbing hold of her eyes. “You know what?! FINE! I'm going to start taking an unusually holistic interest in Apples! How do you like them apples?!”

Applejack’s face lit up. “You want to get in apples?! Oh, this is the best day ever!”

Pinkie let out an exasperated sigh. “Look… My point is—” Pinkie leaned back onto her haunches and pulled at the baby with both forehooves. “Oh, Celestia!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“… Yes?” Celestia asked.

“The baby really IS on my face tighter than an alien what hugs faces!” With that Pinkie resumed her screaming and running about.

Celestia sighed. “I really should encourage ponies not to use my name like that... At least not while I’m in the room.”

“Ahhh! AHHH! Get it offa me! GET IT OFFA ME!”

Cadance glanced briefly at Pinkie with concern then walked over to the window and peered out. “Do you think we should call it off?”

Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Um, we’ve all faced a lot worse than baby magic.”

“Ahhhh! AHHHHH!” Pinkie continued to scream as the baby happily gripped onto her face, it’s tiny hooves still digging into her eyeballs. “I’M SORRY, BUT YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE ANY PAST OR PRESENT EXPERIENCE TO MAKE THAT CALL, DASHIE!”

Sunset’s face tightened as she watched Pinkie flail about with the baby on her face before looking up at the hole in the ceiling. “Well… Pinkie’s input not dismissed, it’s certainly true each of us have faced more direct and organized threats… Still, the baby still possesses a clear threat to safety. We at least need somepony to be a magic sneeze guard so nopony gets baby melted.”

The other ponies turned and stared at Sunset.

“I just volunteered myself, didn’t I?” Sunset said.

The other ponies nodded.

Sunset shrugged. “I’m not even mad.”

Rarity smiled. “Well, I can’t imagine canceling such a beautiful and important ceremony over something so potentially adorable!”

“BUT UNPREDICTABLE AND DESTRUCTIVE!” Pinkie added. “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Fluttershy raised terror-filled tealish blue eyes over Applejack’s flank as she watched Pinkie continue to run back and forth through the massive nursery. Applejack also watched the display, but with an unamused look.

Sunset turned to Rarity, blinking a few times. “I mean… just playing Devil’s Advocate here—”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You really going with that phrase?” she asked.

Sunset turned and shot Twilight a dirty look. “I DON’T HAVE TO NOT USE CERTAIN PHRASES FOREVER BECAUSE OF ONE THING!”

“Alright, alright…” Twilight said raising a forehoof in front of her.

“ANN-EE-HOW,” Sunset continued, “The baby CAN destroy walls with its magic… Let’s all just keep that in mind.”

Luna nodded. “The baby’s powers are considerable.”

Celestia trotted up towards Luna and chimed in, “In light of the little one's abilities, this Crystalling might be more important than ever.” She turned towards Cadance. “Perhaps you should address your subjects and remind them of that.”

“Wait, what?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Mom, are you eating the same stupid pills everypony is having and/or caught the same moron disease everypony else seems to have today?”

Celestia cringed, but turned to face Sunset with a blank look. “Sunset, I haven’t the foggiest notion of what you’re talking about.”

The other ponies in the room froze in place—

“Aaaaaaahhhhh! Oh, She’s in my eyes! My eyes! AAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHHHH!”

MOST of the other ponies in the room froze in place. Their eyes widened in concern as they all drew their attention to Celestia and Sunset once more. Luna and Cadance elected to take a few steps away from Celestia as Sunset continued to fix the alabaster princess with a vexed glare.

Sunset let out a vexed grunt and trotted closer to Celestia. “Would you just look at your niece for like half a second?!” Sunset said, motioning to Cadance. “She looks like she can barely keep herself up! Mom, she hasn’t even slept since she GAVE birth! FRICKIN’ birth, mom! I know we’ve all had to deal with some pretty serious issues before and bravely ‘soldier forth’, but I’m guessing there’s not a lot that tops pushing a combination narwhal-albatross out of one’s baby hole!”

Rainbow Dash snickered to herself.

Sunset continued, “Why not try cutting her a little slack! I mean… If you’re wanting to avoid worrying the subject of the Crystal Empire of which, she is the princess of, then I don’t think putting her in front of them before the Crystalling where everypony will share their love and light with the crystal hear—God damn it! Now I’m doing it, too, for some reason!” Sunset sighed. “Just Goddamn… I sound like Mojo-freakin’-Jojo…”

Celestia frowned as she took a few steps towards Sunset. She placed the back of her forehoof onto Sunset’s forehead right below her horn. “Are you feeling alright? Maybe you’re coming down with—”

Sunset’s eyes went wide and she quickly swatted at Celestia’s forehoof with both forelegs before backing away slightly.

Celestia grimaced, flashing a hurt look before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and resumed looking at Sunset blankly.

Sunset also took a deep breath. “I’m just saying, I’m not sure sticking her in front of them when she looks like she needs the world’s longest nap is a great idea!”

Celestia shook her head. “Sunset, I’m afraid you still don’t fully understand the sacrifices one must make when one is a princess.”

“Damnit, mom!” Sunset stamped a hoof down. “Not everypony has been doing this for over a thousand of years! In fact, you might be the only pony ever to have done this for so long! Cadance can’t help anypony if you drive her into some sort of nervous breakdown.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes, her voice suddenly breaking. “I’m not driving her towards a breakdown, Sunset!”

Sunset let out a long sigh. “I’m not saying that’s what you’re trying to do, but it’s what’s going to happen if she doesn’t at least get a little rest! Maybe you’ve figured out the secret to working like crazy without collapsing into an unconscious heap, but the rest of us mere mortals are still working it out.”

“Erm… Sunset?” Twilight interjected tentatively as she extended a wing and pointed at it.

Sunset sighed. “It was just a figure of speech, Twilight. Just…” Sunset turned back to Celestia. “You’re going to turn Cadance into a neurotic mess like—” Sunset trailed off briefly then motioned towards Twilight “—like Twilight if you push her so hard.”

“Hey!” Twilight said in protest.

“What?” Sunset countered. “You and I know that’s true…”

Twilight sighed, “Okay… but… but…”

Celestia spoke up. “Twilight was already kind of a neurotic mess before she became my pupil.”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah! That!” she said, pointing towards Celestia.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Sure, fine.” Sunset leveled an accusing forehoof at Celestia. “But I bet you didn’t do her any favors in that department when you took her on as your personal student!”

“But I’m happy Celestia took me in as a student!” Twilight protested.

The other ponies—

“Ahhhh! AHHHHH!” Pinkie cried. “Seriously! How much do I need to scream until some pony helps get this baby off of my FACE!”

Again, most of the other poniesin the room continued to listen, their heads now turning to the three princesses engaged in a conversation.

“I’m not saying it was a bad thing!” Sunset said to Twilight. “But…but how many times have you freaked out because you’re afraid of disappointing Celestia?”

“Erm… Define ‘freaked out’,” Twilight said with a slightly sheepish look.

“Come on, Twi!” Sunset said. “If you have to think about it, obviously it’s happened a few times!”

Twilight pursed her lips into a tight frown. “Well…”

Celestia also frowned, but in concern. “Twilight… If I’ve ever pushed you too hard, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”

Twilight raised a forehoof. “No, it’s fine. Really!” She said with a nervous smile. “Really, there’s nothing to worry about!”

“See!” Sunset exclaimed. “You can’t even tell Celestia what’s going on because you’re so scared of disappointing her!” She turned and focused her vision on Celestia, her eyes narrowing slightly. “It’s just so hard to live up to your example and you almost never let any pony know when you yourself are on the verge of collapsing! At some point you must have convinced yourself that’s just normal because you keep doing it and encourage everypony around you to join into this insane pace of working until complete exhaustion!”

Celestia's eyes opened wide. “But I… I… don’t...”

Sunset took a step closer to Celestia. “You never know when to take it easy or when you should tell other ponies they can take a break so you just end up running everyone around you ragged until we snap and do something stupid!”

Celestia suddenly stood rigid as a statue as her face managed a slightly lighter shade of white.

Luna, who like everypony to this point had been quietly observing, also reacted, wincing hard at Sunset’s comment. Twilight’s response was slower, but her eyes slowly opened wider and wider as if she was processing the full implications of Sunset’s statement. Cadance’s reaction was also slightly delayed, but soon her tired eyes carried a twinkle of realization.

Sunset seemingly took no notice of the sudden shift of Celestia or anyone else in the room, instead she continued her rant without losing any of the moment she already had going, “You don’t mean to do it, but this is what you do! You bring ponies into your life and then we all just fall apart or turn into giant messes because we can’t help but try andkeep up with you and sometimes we just can’t do that and you’re too stuck in ‘princess mode’ to even notice!”

Sunset paused as if waiting for a response, only then taking note of the fact that Celestia’s body language had shifted dramatically. Although she still stood straight, it looked somewhat unnatural as if Celestia had tensed every muscle in her body. Instead of the dignified, controlled look she had been giving Sunset, Celestia's lilac eyes showed a new pain and hollowness behind them and her lips began to quiver.

It was Sunset’s turn to widen her eyes in surprise. “Erm… Uh… This is part where you start yelling back at me…”

Tears began to trickle from Celestia’s eyes as she looked at Sunset, then Twilight, followed by Cadance, and finally her sister Luna. “I’m… I’m sorry…” Celestia shook her head as the trickles from her eyes turned into streams.

Sunset recoiled in slight surprise from the apology before she bit her lower lip as she took full stock of Celestia’s current demeanor. If Sunset’s aim was to get back at Celestia by hurting her emotionally, there was no doubt in the orange alicorn’s head that she had just succeeded.

So why did she feel even worse than before? Hadn’t she spent many angry nights wishing for this? But… but she wasn’t trying to hurt Celestia right this moment… Was she? Sunset briefly stared upwards, thinking back through the moments that led up to this point and what she had just said. Her eyes shot open wide as she briefly glanced at Luna and thought a bit more about her own situation. “... Mom?” Sunset began in a tentative tone. “I… I didn’t mean to suggest—”

“I… I have to go…” Celestia closed her eyes, lowered her head, and bolted past Sunset into the hallway.

The corners of Sunset’s lips fell as panic suddenly gripped her features. “Wait! MOM!” She cried as she extended a forehoof. “I REALLY DIDN’T MEAN TO—”

“Sister! Wait!” Luna broke into a gallop, slowly only slightly to fire off a disdainful glare at Sunset as Luna shot past her.

Sunset felt her forehead tighten as water began to pool under her eyes. She turned and blinked hard before she lowered her forehoof back to the ground.

Once again, silence descended over everypony with the notable exceptions of the baby’s excited coos and Pinkie’s terrified screams.

“I have dreamed a dream,” Sunset murmured. “But now that dream has come from me…”

Cadance trotted up to Sunset and sat down next to her. She stared out through the open door for a moment, doing her best to ignore the holes in the wall caused by her newborn. With a calm expression on her face, she turned towards Sunset. “Well, that sounded deep,” Cadance commented. “Did you come up with that yourself?”

Sunset shook her head. “No. It’s sorta from the most published book in the whole world back where I live now.” Sunset’s cheeks flushed slightly. “But it’s more a mangled quote from a movie over there…”

Cadance gave Sunset the slightest of grins. “I see…”

Sunset let out a sad sigh and shook her head. “Cadance… Why am I such a f*^% up?”

The other ponies present let out sounds of protest and reminders about a baby present until Cadance raised a forehoof and silenced them.

“THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO DIE!” Pinkie screamed.

Again… most of them.

“Oh Sunset, you’re not… You’re not that. You’ve just made a few mistakes, but still… You’ve come such a long, long way…”

Sunset turned and gave Cadance a look as if she might deck the pink princess right there on the spot.

“Sorry!” Cadance said as she raised a forehoof in front of her defensively. “But my point is you’re an alicorn now… and from what I understand that was after you basically saved your world twice! Heck. You maybe even saved Equestria one of those times… Sunset, I’m sorry about how I acted before. You’ve clearly earned everything that’s come to you.”

Sunset winced hard.

Cadance’s eyes widened slightly. “Sorry! Sorry! That came out wrong! I’m just so tired! I didn’t mean—”

Sunset shook her head. “It’s fine!” Sunset said, cutting off Cadance. “You’re right… I did earn becoming an alicorn but…” Sunset clamped down hard on her eyes. “But yeah… I deserve this… I could have avoided all of this if I just didn’t fall right back into bad habits!” Sunset shook her head. “I’m sorry everypony, I’ll go back and check on Starlight now… and… and I’ll try to stay out of everyponies’ faces while I’m here.” With that, Sunset trudged out of the nursery.

Twilight frowned slightly as she walked up to Cadance. “Well? What do you think we should do?”

Cadance turned and looked into the room. “I guess somepony should wake Shining and I’ll…” Cadance turned and looked back out the nursery. “I’ll try to figure something out… The ponies are still gathering outside at least, so I guess that’s not an immediate concern.”

“FOR THE LOVE OF THE SUN AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!” Pinkie exclaimed as she attempted to pry the baby off her face with a pink crowbar. “WHY HASN’T ANY PONY COME TO HELP ME?!” she added as the baby cooed playfully in response as the crowbar did nothing to remove it.

-ooooooo-

Still by the statue that depicted his heroic exploits, Spike sat on his stool and on top of Twilight’s list in the middle of a group of Crystal ponies. He motioned dramatically as he spoke to them all. Starlight lounged in a red-and-white striped lawn chair as she munched on popcorn, watching Spike as he concluded his story.

“…and that’s how we found the Crystal Heart, defeated King Sombra, and saved the empire!”

The Crystal ponies all cheered in response.

“We love you Spike!” A pink crystal foal with purple hair tied up in a braid exclaimed.

“Yeah! Tell the one about the Equestria games!” An off-white crystal foal with light-blue hair added.

“Well, as much as I love reliving my heroic deeds, Starlight and I have an important lesson to do—” Spike pulled out the list he was sitting on “—by order of the Princess of Friendship!”

The foals in the audience let out sounds of disappointment.

Starlight’s eyes went wide as she gulped down the popcorn in her mouth. She put on a smile. “Aw, come on Spike! I want to hear about the Games too!”

“PPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!”

Starlight clenched down on her teeth hard as heard a very loud and very rude sound. She slowly turned her head and found herself caught in the veiny red webs of Sunset’s irate glare as the orange alicorn held a forehoof up to her lips.

Starlight swallowed. “Sunset! We were just about to—”

“PPPPppprrrRRRFgggFFRRrrrrRFRFFFRFRrrrTTTT!”

“Oh, Celestia! Sunset, I’m sorry but—”

“PPPPPPPRrrrrRFggggFFRRrrrrRRFgFRrrrrrrRRRTTTtttTTTTT!”

Starlight let out a few desperate sobs.

Meanwhile, Spike finished writing his autograph for the last of the Crystal foals present. “Ya done, Sunset?” he asked.

Sunset just shook her head. “Just one more!”

“But—”

“PPPRRRFRFRFRRRRRRFFRRRRRFFRRTTTPPRFRFRFRFRTTTTPTTTTTTT!”

“WHY!”Starlight exclaimed.

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Oh, you know why!”

“Yeah, come on, Starlight!” Spike said as he walked up with the list. “I know you're nervous about seeing Sunburst, but it says right in step 3, to, uh...” Spike searched through the list with his claw then pointed at an item. “Deal with your fears by facing them, not by putting it off.”

“See!” Sunset said indignantly. “Even Twilight’s ridiculous list is telling you to get on with it.”

Starlight sighed. “Ugh. Alright... Let's go get this over with.” Starlight got up from her chair and soon her, Spike, and Sunset were trotting down the streets of the Crystal Empire.

Spike smiled over at Sunset. “So how’s everything back at the castle?”

“Great!” Sunset said with a giant smile. “No one is scared they’ll be killed by the baby and I managed to deal with all my lingering problems involving my adopted family so now everything is good and will remain that way forever!”

Starlight shook her head. “That bad, huh…”

Sunset nodded her head. “Oh, yeah…”

“You know your fake smile probably won’t fool very many ponies,” Starlight said. “I could probably help you out there.”

Sunset thought about this for a moment. “You know… I might just take you up on that.”

Soon the trio were walking down a narrow street between purple crystal houses. After some walking they came upon a modest teal crystal house with double doors, and an uneven, light orange crystal roof that seemed to even have crystal rumples leading up all the way to a something of a lopsided point. The whole formation gave the appearance that the house was wearing a wide-brimmed, crystal hat with tapered point.

Sunset’s forehead pulled forward as she looked over the strange house and took note of several diamond-shaped windows of different sizes set at various, random looking places in the house and and hat-roof. “Did… Did Dr. Seuss design that house?!”

“I told you!” Starlight said, motioning to the house. “Wizard!”

“There’s no such thing anymore!” Sunset insisted. “Maybe the house is just really old in addition to being really stupid-looking.”

“Well I think it looks okay,” Spike chimed in.

“Whatever,” Sunset replied. “The whole empire probably looks like a delicious buffet to you.”

Spike chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head.

“Well, here goes nothing,” Starlight said as she trotted up to the double doors and reached out to knock on one.

“Wait!” Spike exclaimed.

Sunset sighed. “Oh, what now?”

Spike unfurled the list. “Knocking on the door isn’t the next thing on the list!” he said.

“Seriously?” Starlight replied.

“Damnit, Spike!” Sunset exclaimed. “I trusted you! You were the chosen one!”

Spike back and forth between the two mares. “I know Twilight can be a little nitpicky…” He said holding up two claws a short distance from each other to signify ‘a little bit’.

“A little?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Spike, that stupid Anytime Workshop Friendship-based Utility List probably tells Starlight exactly which topics to bring up or avoid so to maximize some sort of bizarre ‘conversation coefficient’ Twilight made up!”

Spike’s brow tightened as he stared at the list. “Okay, she can be very nitpicky, but this is Starlight’s first lesson as her pupil, and it's important that we do it right!”

Starlight paused as she mauled over Sunset's previous statement. “Wow. Did you come up with that name yourself?”

Sunset shook her head. “That’s the worst part! TWILIGHT came up with that name and she’s not even trying to be ironic!”

Starlight swallowed. “This information does not fill me with confidence…”

“Come on, girls!” Spike said. “We should at least give Twilight’s list a chance!”

“Fine!” Sunset said in an irritable tone. “But for the record, I bet believe that whole list is going to be completely useless here!”

“Alright,” Spike said with a smile, “your comment has been noted.”

“So, what is the next thing on the list?” Starlight asked.

Spike cleared his throat and began to read from the list, “’Before they see each other, be sure to highlight the importance of the meeting.’”

Starlight glanced upwards. “I'm pretty sure we can skip that.”

“Second,” Sunset chimed in.

“I don't know...” Spike said as he thought about it. He turned towards Starlight, “I mean if we skip it, the whole lesson could go south! And then you might end up taking a giant step backwards instead of forwards!” Spike continued, stepping back then forward on Sunburst’s steps to emphasize his point. “Maybe you'll never be able to learn anything about friendship at all!” Spike said in a borderline panicky tone.

Starlight’s pupils shrank in fear from this potential revelation as Spike quickly stepped up, grabbed ahold of her cheeks, and stared her dead in the eyes. “It's almost like your whole future depends on this moment.” Spike dashed away, leaving Starlight to ponder her potential figurative future-destroying action she was about to take.

“‘Highlight the importance of the meeting’” Spike read off the list as he walked back down the steps. He crossed it off. “– check!” He glanced up at Starlight. “I can't believe you wanted to skip that!”

Sunset glanced up at Starlight and smirked. “Alright, I suppose I stand corrected about everything on the list being completely useless.”

Her lips puckered hard in worry. Starlight closed her eyes and softly wrapped on one of the doors a couple times. She backed away and waited for the doors to open. After a beat, she turned and stared down at Spike.

Spike shrugged.

Starlight turned away from the door.

Sunset raised a foreleg up to her lips.

Starlight’s eyes shot opened wide and she turned to face the door once more.

The door opened a crack.

“Sunburst?” Starlight said.

The shadow of a figure with a long goatee and glasses that reflected the sunlight appeared in the doorway. “Yes?” A unicorn stallion stepped into the light. He had a mane of red-orange hair and the facial hair to match. His coat was a bright orange and he had a white mark over his muzzle. “What can I do for you?”

“It's... It's me—”

“PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!”

Starlight turned toward Sunset with a mortified expression on her face.

Spike looked the over the list in his claws and then scowled at Sunset.

“You know what you did!” Sunset exclaimed at Starlight as she raised her foreleg back up to her mouth.

Sunburst glanced past Starlight as he adjusted his glasses slightly.

“Well at least let me tell him who I am!” Starlight exclaimed.

“Fine!” Sunset replied.

Starlight took a deep breath. “I’m Starlight. We used to—“

“PPPPPPPRRRRRRFFFFTTTTT!”

Starlight spun around. “OH, COME ON!”

“What?!” Sunset said in a protesting tone. “You said you just wanted to get your name out.”

Starlight turned to face Sunburst. “WeUsedToBeFriends!” she said quickly.

“PRRRRF-Dang it!”Sunset exclaimed.

Sunburst stepped out into the light more, which better exposed his blue cloak held together with a round blue-silver clasp as well as the slight mess his hair was in. He thought about this for a moment. “Oh, of course! S-Starlight! My goodness, it-it's been a long time! What, uh, what have you been up to?”

“WHAT?!” Sunset exclaimed. “You mean you had to jog your memory to even remember Starlight?!”

Starlight turned towards Sunset with a sad pout on her face.

“Eeessssh!” Sunset exclaimed. “Harsh…”

Sunburst looked Sunset up and down. “Excuse me, but are you Sunset Shimmer?”

Sunset stared up at Sunburst in surprise. “Wait… You recognize me?”

Sunburst nodded. “Of course! Everypony who attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns from around the time I did knows who you are.”

“Huh!” Sunset exclaimed. “Erm… why...?”

“’Why’?!” Sunburst parroted in disbelief. “You where Celestia’s personal pupil before your mysterious disappearance!” Sunburst stared at Sunset’s wings. “And I don’t know what happened there, but I see you’ve returned having learned a great deal.”

Sunset smiled and turned to look at her own wings as she unfurled them to their full length. “Yeah…” she said with a proud smile.

“Can we focus?” Spike said in an irritated tone. “We’re here for Starlight!”

Sunburst’s mouth unhinged. “Is that… Is that the Great and Honorable Spike, the Brave and Glorious?!”

Sunset turned to look at Spike. “Wow, the Crystal ponies sure don’t hold back when it comes to coming up with titles, do they?”

“Heh-Heeee…” Spike uttered as he rubbed the back of his head. “No WAIT!” He exclaimed. “This is supposed to be Starlight’s time to shine.”

Sunset smirked and stared up into the bright blue sky. “I’m glad Pinkie wasn’t here for that one.”

Spike pointed at Starlight. “Starlight! Go! Tell Sunburst of what you’ve been up to.”

“Me?” Starlight said motioning to herself. She turned to face Sunburst once more. “Oh! You know, some of this, some of that… Heh… Different... stuff. Right now, I'm sort of Twilight Sparkle's new pupil.”

Sunburst’s eyes opened in disbelief. “The Princess of Friendship?” Sunburst looked at Starlight, then at Sunset, then Spike. “So… you’re… you’re the pupil of Twilight Sparkle… AND friends with Sunset Shimmer and The Great and Honorable Spike, the Brave and Glorious?!”

“Uh… Kind of?” Starlight said as she rubbed the back of her head. “It’s been… It’s been an interesting few weeks…”

“Kind of?!” Spike said in protest. “Starlight, you Sunset and I are like this!” Spike said as he crossed a couple of claws. “I mean, we’re the founding members of PMS!”

Sunset smacked a forehoof against her forehead.

“You three founded something together?!” Sunburst exclaimed.

“Uh… Just a small society,” Starlight said. “Look, that’s not important.”

“What!?” Spike cried. “Starlight! How can you say that!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “She just means ‘right this second’, Spike.”

“Oh,” Spike replied. “I knew that.”

“Anyway,” Starlight continued, “Twilight is actually kind of why I'm here. I mean, I know you're probably very busy.”

Sunburst’s eyes darted left than right. “What do you mean?”

Starlight glanced away briefly. “Well, I figured after magic school, you'd go on to do important wizard work, but...”

“Oh.” Sunburst replied. “No-y-yes! Uh, y-yes, that's me, yup.” Sunburst chuckled nervously as he stared up and away from Starlight. “Important wizard! Really busy with lots of,” Sunburst stared back at Starlight, “uh, wi-wizarding... stuff.”

Sunset began to cough, “Cough-FakeThing-cough!”

Starlight and Sunburst paused awkwardly for a bit as both avoided eye contact with the other. “Right. Uh, well... good to see you,” Sunburst said right before he closed his door.

“Huh,” Spike uttered, “Maybe we should have skipped highlighting the importance of the meeting after all.”

“Well, I guess that's that!” Starlight said with a smile as she turned and began to walk down the steps.

“Really?” Sunset replied. “You’re throwing in the towel after that pathetic display?”

Starlight looked at Sunset with an imploring look. “But… I talked to him!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Barely!” She snapped. “Starlight, that was just sad! I can’t believe after all the work I’ve done you’d even humor for a second that that sad attempt at a conversation was okay!”

Starlight winced, hanging her head sadly. “I’m… I’m sorry…” she murmured.

“Being sorry doesn’t fix your LIFE, Starlight!” Sunset cried.

Starlight’s eyes went wide as she stared back at Sunset with a hurt expression.

Sunset continued. “Being sorry isn’t enough to keep the people you care about happy or… or stop them from replacing you with some frickin’ purple unicorn.”

Starlight’s lips began to quiver and her eyes began to fill with water as if she might start crying at a moment’s notice as she hung her head and stared at Sunburst’s steps.

“Uh, Sunset?” Spike said, raising an eyebrow. “Are you talking about Twilight or Celestia?!”

Sunset turned towards Spike, water having also filled her eyes. “YES!” she answered.

Starlight blinked a few times as she stared at Sunset, clearing the tears from her own eyes.

Sunset said nothing, opting instead to stare at Starlight with a blank expression. “Sunset? Maybe instead of talking to Sunburst, I can talk to you about—”

“STOP TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS!” Sunset yelled. “YOU’RE JUST HURTING YOURSELF BY LETTING THIS GO FOR SO LONG AND YOU KNOW IT!”

Starlight recoiled slightly from Sunset’s impassioned and outraged tone.

“Suuunseeeet,” Spike said with a frown. “Give the girl a little credit! At least she tried.”

Sunset turned to Spike with an angry look on her face. “So frickin’ what? It’s not like she resolved anything!”

Starlight’s head jerked up and she glared at Sunset. “OH! Just like you haven’t resolved anything with Cadance, Celestia, OR even Twilight?!”

Spike stepped in between the two mares. “Alright, calm down you two… Yelling at each other is certainly not going to help anything and, it’s most certainly not on the li—”

Sunset grit her teeth. “Spike! If you mention that stupid list again, I’m going to feed it to you!”

“I know, right?!” Starlight chimed in. “How is that list supposed to magically just address all my unresolved issues with my only foalhood friend huh?! How?!”

Spike shrugged and shook his head. “Hey, I’m not sure.” He smiled. “But if it gets you two yelling at me instead of each other, at least it’s doing something.”

Sunset and Starlight paused, turned away from Spike and each other with shameful expressions.

“Sorry, Spike,” Sunset said. “It’s been a pretty rough day for me.”

Starlight nodded. “Yeah, Sorry Spike…” Starlight turned towards Sunset. “Sunset, I’msorry about bringing up your problems with Cadance, Celestia, and Twilight.”

Sunset shook her head. “It’s fine… I deserved it…”

“No, it’s not fine!” Starlight insisted. “That was mean… I mean… My Sunburst problem really doesn’t compare at all your long-standing family stuff, or even sorta being replaced two times over… Maybe it’s too early for either of us to deal with this stuff right now.”

Sunset’s expression suddenly lost all emotion. Starlight gave her a scrutinizing look as searched the alicorn over for any hint of what Sunset was feeling. Sadness. Anger. Resentment. Anything!

Nervously, Starlight continued, “Look, it’s quite clear neither of us are ready for this. Let’s just go back to Twilight… and I don’t know… Say that things are fine between me and Sunbur—”

“Stop it,” Sunset said in a gentle but firm tone.

Starlight stopped her sentence and stared at Sunset. “Er… Okay… but we both talked to—”

“Starlight, please stop talking right now and listen to me.”

With a slightly worried look on her face, Starlight clamped her mouth shut and looked at Sunset.

Sunset sighed and shook you head. “You lose.”

Spike squinted at Sunset as he gazed at the mare in an almost analytical fashion.

“… Ex-excuse me?” Starlight replied.

“More accurately, we both lose,” Sunset clarified.

“I, er, I don’t follow,” Starlight said.

“I’m going to go back to the castle and talk to Cadance—” Sunset shuddered “—my mom… maybe even Twilight, and you are going to turn around, knock on that door, and try talking to Sunburst again.”

Starlight’s eyes widened in panic. “But—”

“Starlight, this is no way to live life.”

Starlight went silent again as she heard Sunset’s poignant, if vague statement.

Sunset continued as she trotted up to Starlight, “We should both know by now you can’t sit around waiting for other ponies just to come out and tell us everything is alright. That we can’t just sit and wait for messages or letters that are never going to come.” Sunset shook her head as she made it to the stop of the steps. “We both know you have to do more than hope the one pony you’re waiting for is going to come and save you from your loneliness, keep you from going down a path of madness you can’t even tell is mad because you’ve convinced yourself that what you’re doing is the only way to make things right.” Sunset took a deep breath. “Starlight, we have to take matters into our own hooves by doing something a lot harder than forcing ponies to notice us or follow us in the hope that we happen to catch the one pony in our net whose attention we’re really after… We have to go up to that one pony and tell them how we feel…”

Starlight and Spike said nothing. Did nothing. They both simply stared at Sunset, both seemingly still absorbing her words.

After a few more moments of silence, Starlight hung her head. “I’m sorry, Sunset… I’m… I’m such a coward.”

Sunset chuckled. “Says the pony who led Twilight Sparkle into a trap and dueled her to a standstill time and time again.”

Starlight sighed and looked up, a slight smile on her face. “And somehow that seemed easier than facing Sunburst… easier than thinking either him or I could have just done something as send a letter to keep me from being alone…”

Sunset nodded. “I know, Starlight… I know. And that’s why you have to go back up there and talk to him…” She turned to look at the crystal castle, a solemn look on her face.

Starlight began to sniffle. “Sun… Oh, Sunse—”

Sunset quickly put her hoof up to Starlight’s lips. “No! No crying! If you start crying you’re going to set me off, and I have a feeling I’m going to need all the tears I have right now so I don’t get dehydrated and die.”

Starlight took a deep breath and nodded her head as Sunset removed her hoof.

“Er…” Starlight began, “Not that I’m… you know… trying to get out of talking to Sunburst but… Maybe you’d like some company for when you talk to everypony?”

Spike frowned and looked between the two mares as if considering which one he should go with.

Sunset shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I suppose I could wait until you’ve had your talk with Sunburst, but I think this is something I should do on my own…” Sunset winced. “Also, I don’t really want any other pony to see a third shouting match between my mom and I…”

Spike and Starlight exchanged glances. “There was a second?” they asked in unison.

Sunset grimaced. “Oh yeah… And it was somehow much worse than the first one even though it was quieter.”

Starlight flinched slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Sunset sighed, shook her head, and smiled. “It’s alright… Guess I’m finally going to actually do something about it.”

Spike scratched the side of his head. “So… Should I just go back to the castle, too?”

Starlight’s eyes shot open wide as a panicked expression put her in a strangle hold.

Sunset smiled and shook her head. “Naw. You, should totally stay here and support Starlight.”

Starlight let out a sigh of relief as she began breathing again.

Sunset continued, “It’s not like she did anything personally to Sunburst she really needs to make amends for, and aside from him not thinking to send a letter, there’s not a lot she needs to shout at him for…”

Starlight sighed. “Well, it’s not like I sent him a letter either…”

Sunset wrapped a foreleg over Starlight’s neck and pulled her close. “Hey, ‘letter-writing chicken’ happens to the best of us and apparently has the side effect of worlds almost being destroyed. We just need to sort some things out so that’s not a problem anymore.”

Starlight smiled and hugged Sunset back. “Alright, Sunset. If you have the courage to face your family after everything I guess it’s a pretty small order to just try talking to Sunburst again.”

Spike smiled wide. “Alright! That’s my favorite PM—AH!” Spike was cut off as a turquoise glow grabbed him and pulled him into a group hug with Sunset and Starlight.

“Spike,” Sunset said, “just shut up and don’t ruin the moment.”

Spike chuckled and held tight to the two mares, rubbing his head against their manes. “Alright…”

The three broke the hug as Sunset once again faced the crystal castle. With a smile she turned back to Starlight. “Ready to face your destiny?”

“Ready!” Starlight said with a smile.

“Good,” Sunset said with a nod as she turned back towards the castle. “I sure hope I am…” she uttered as she spread her wings and took flight.

Starlight turned to face Sunburst’s home. “Well… I guess I’m better off than Sunset here, but I still don’t know what I should say.”

Spike smiled. “Maybe just start with explaining what Twilight wants,” he said with a shrug.

Starlight scrunched up her lips and thought about it. “Well… It’s a start…” She knocked on the door once more.

The door opened and Sunburst stepped out.

Starlight gave him a sheepish grin. “Oh, hey! Sunburst… Er… Sorry about all the noise.”

“Noise?” Sunburst said, his voice almost breaking. “Oh… er… It’s fine… Totally… totally… er… fine…”

Starlight scrutinized Sunburst’s face for a moment. His sapphire eyes were puffy and bloodshot behind his glasses. “Have you… Have you been crying?!” She exclaimed.

“Oh. Yes-NO!” Sunburst cried. “I mean… umm…”

Starlight gave Sunburst a hopeful smile. “Maybe I could come in and we could talk a little?”

Sunburst took another look at Starlight and then glanced behind him into his house.

“I’ll throw in a free autograph!” Spike exclaimed.

Sunburst turned back to look at Starlight. “All-alright, sure…” he said as she stepped back and held open the door.

Starlight walked inside followed by Spike. Sunburst took a deep breath and walked inside, closing the door behind him.

Author's Note

Alright, unless I can fit in a scene that says "THIS IS WHAT CRYSTAL PONIES ACTUALLY BELIEVE", I think I got about all the jokes I can from that one South Park episode. Though, now that I bring it up, once must wonder if there are any embellished accounts of how Spike has saved them... :pinkiecrazy:

Thanks to Nova Quill for helping with the Pinkie imagery regarding baby and feather and to Tired Old Man for helping me work through a couple areas in the chapter.

Chapter 9: The Art of Avoiding Awkward Conversations

Chapter 9: The Art of Avoiding Awkward Conversations

Sunset Shimmer narrowed her eyes as she scanned a crowd of mostly crystal ponies gathered in front of a stage set at the base of the Crystal Castle. She had seen this scene enough times to recognize the tell-tale sign of a crowd dispersing from a gathering, meaning somepony had likely finished a performance or giving a speech. She suspected the latter and with Celestia quite possibly not in the mood after their little… er big tiff, that left Princess Luna and Cadance.

While it was possible Luna took it on herself to address everypony, given the Crystal Empire was already gone before she went a tad nutso and was banished and back after her return, they likely wouldn’t have any real hang-ups with her appearing in front of everypony. However, Sunset still suspected that Cadance was still the one to deliver the speech at Celestia’s earlier behest.

Sunset shook her head. She’d get her adopted cousin to get some shuteye even if she had to beat her unconscious… Or maybe a simple sleep spell would be a better idea. She focused on the stage as she came in for a—

“Oh, crap baskets…” Sunset uttered to herself. The stage was coming at her a bit faster than what was probably safe for a landing. No worries, Sunset. You can do this… Just… just flap your wings hard to stop your descent. There! Now let out a frightened cry as that utterly fails to help. Good job! And a bubble shield to make sure you don’t die and… GREAT! You’re now tumbling like an orange bouncy ball of screaming shame!

A+ me!

Encased in what was essentially a magic hamster ball, Sunset bounded down a small flight of stairs and into a salmon-colored curtain, which fell around her and stopped her impromptu bouncy journey of terror.

She dropped her barrier and sighed. Maybe she got lucky and aside from a few confused members of the crowd, no pony had saw that. With a turquoise glow of her horn she removed the curtain from around her so she could stare back at the collection of ponies around her. Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy looked at her in concern, while Rainbow Dash was busy rolling on the floor while having a laughing fit. Shining Armor still looked exhausted and now slightly panicked at Sunset’s sudden appearance and a half-dozen purple pegasus stallions in silver armor.

Greeeeaaat. Sunset took some solace in the fact that Twilight wasn’t in the immediate vicinity to get on her case.

“Are you aright, Sunset Shimmer?” Fluttershy asked as she trotted over and helped Sunset to her hooves.

“It’s fine,” Sunset said. “My pride is already completely dead and buried after everything that’s happened today, anyway.”

“That was quite the nasty looking spill,” Rarity chimed in.

“Yeah,” Applejack added. “Ya fell outta the sky faster than a pig desperate to win a bet.”

Rarity and Fluttershy shot Applejack confused looks from her odd turn of phrase.

“Thanks,” Sunset said in an annoyed tone as she dusted herself off with her forelegs and gave her wings a few good flaps. “I was there for it. I know how bad it was.”

Laughter continued to pour out from Rainbow Dash as she still rolled around on the ground. “Oh man! That was actually worse than any of TWILIGHT’S landings! Ahahahahaha!”

Sunset let out an annoyed groan and looked over the ponies. “I’ve only had wings for like a day! Look forget the stupid landing, I’m looking for—”

Shining Armor quickly galloped up to Sunset. “Sunset Shimmer! Thank Celestia you’re here!”

Sunset scrunched her lips to the left side of her face. “Well, she is part of the reason I’m here at this moment.” She suddenly smiled. “Also, I’d be happy to let you put a baby inside me!”

Shining seemed to lose all control over his eyebrows and eyelids for a moment as they seemed to spasm uncontrollably. “What?”

“What?” Sunset parroted. “What did you need?” she asked.

“You’ve apparently spent some time as royalty!” Shining said. He pointed to the purple pegasi ponies in a neat line behind him. “Help me pick two ponies to be the honor guard for the Crystalling.”

Sunset’s forehead tightened as she looked down the lines of armored ponies. Each one nearly identical except for the fact half the stallions had a close-cropped, mohawk style light red mane, and the others had light green but the same style. Sunset noted that they even had the same eye coloring.

“Christ, did you all roll off a Crystal Empire assembly line or something?!” Sunset asked.

The one furthest to the left spoke up, “We’re sextuplets.”

Sunset blinked a few times and looked over the line of ponies again. “Wow! Well, I hope you all put on that muscle after birth, because I think I know another mom who’s earned a trophy.”

The six stallions all let out a collective sigh.

“Believe us,” one of the green-maned ponies said, “our mom would agree with you and never gets tired of reminding us all of how much work it was to carry us and give birth.”

The green-maned pony on to the far right’s eyes went distant for a second. “She hired a courtroom sketch artist for the event… The sketches are not pretty.”

“Okay well… That’s just… weird…” Sunset trailed off as she looked the line up and down again. She turned to Shining as Rainbow Dash flew up with a couple silver helmets, one with a large light-green plume, and the other with a light red plume. “Sorry, but I haven’t spent a lot of time being a pony lately,” Sunset said. “Plus they all look identical to me… Really, if I’ve learned anything it’s that it’s sort of impossible to under-think these things and you should just pick a couple at random and be done with it.”

Shining took the two helmets in a magenta glow and shoved them backwards onto the faces of the second and third guards who awkwardly backed away. The guard to the far left puffed out his lower lip in a pout as the other three exchanged looks of disappointment.

“Oh, suck it up,” Sunset said. “At least this way you four are less likely to get baby disintegrated.”

“WHAT?!” the guard exclaimed.

“Nothing!” Sunset said sweetly. She turned towards Shining. “Okay, that was easy. What’s next?”

Rarity cleared her throat and approached with a small black box with golden borders and a matching clasp. “Now, I know choosing the crystal of purity is a very important decision.” Rarity opened the box revealing five translucent crystal shards. “So I have gone through the trouble of arranging them in order from incredibly pure to outrageously pure.”

Fluttershy trotted up and looked into the box. “Um, Rarity, don't they all sort of look the same?”

Sunset nodded in agreement. “Yeah! You even managed to find shards that are identical in color AND shape! How is that even possible?”

Rarity let out a scoff. “Perhaps they look the same to the untrained eye.” She looked over at Shining. “What do you think, Shining Armor?”

Shining’s already shrunken pupils retreated further into his eyes as he began to bite at his lip and stammer. He suddenly reared onto his back hooves and pressed his hooves against the side of his head. “I DON’T KNOW!” he screamed before he collapsed to the ground and covered his face with his hooves.

“Oh my God!” Sunset cried out. “No one cares! Just pick at random!” Sunset shook her head. “Sorry girls and terrified new-dad, I didn’t come here to help with the Crystalling. I need to find Cadance and yell at her until she’s asleep.”

The four mares exchanged confused glances.

“Er, she went to get some rest after talkin’ to everypony,” Applejack informed. “She thought if you saw her up and about you’d be madder than a Junebug in November.”

Sunset’s right eye twitched. “What does that EVEN mean-Imean Good!” she replied. “The less screaming I can do to her the better.” Sunset looked around. “Twilight is watching the baby I take it?”

“Yep!” Rainbow Dash said. “She and Pinkie totally got it covered and are probably not going to die at all!”

“Lucky!” Sunset exclaimed.

The sound of a distant explosion rumbled through the castle and up to the mares who all paused and turned in its direction, most with looks of concern.

Rarity and Fluttershy worriedly looked down the hall into the castle.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “They’re probably fine.”

Applejack rubbed her chin. “Though, Pinkie might need some therapy after this.”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Okay, but how would anypony be able to tell?!”

Applejack glanced up at her hat briefly. “Point taken.”

“Well, I stand by my previous statement,” Sunset said. She trotted up to Shining and leaned down. “NOW, tired dad,” she barked, “where’s the kitchen?”

Shining removed the forelegs from around his eyes. “Oh… it’s uh…” He pointed off with a forehoof. “Down the main hall and then take a right when it splits.”

Sunset nodded. “Thanks!” she said as she did an about face and began to trot off. She turned and fluttered her eyelashes. “See you soon!~” she purred out.

Shining Armor watched Sunset leave with a confused expression as the mare practically sashayed away and swung her tail from side to side.

“Goodness,” Fluttershy uttered, “what was that about, I wonder?”

Applejack shrugged. “I reckon she’s hungry after all the hootin’ and hollerin’ she’s done.”

Rainbow Dash snickered. “I don’t think that’s what Fluttershy was getting at, AJ.”

Rarity tittered. “Looks like somepony is looking to expand the royal family a little more.”

Shining Armor’s eyes shot open wide and he let out a blood-curdling scream.

-ooooooo-

Starlight Glimmer sat on a wooden stool at a small, wooden table across from Sunburst. On the table was a single empty teacup and a teakettle, both a dingy grey color with light blue lining. She let her eyes wander over the room full of crystals, scrolls, and books in shelves and piles. Heck, books where almost anywhere there was space for them. She suddenly focused her attention on Sunburst, wondering why he had only put out one teacup when there were clearly two ponies, and… Oh my gosh! He just had so many books in here and probably crazy magical components she didn’t even understand and just… Why did this have to be so awkward?! She screamed internally as she looked up into her mane.

“Sooooo…” Sunburst began, “the Princess of Friendship wants… you and I to be friends again?” he asked.

Starlight’s vision snapped back to Sunburst. “Heh! I know!” she said with an eye roll. “Weird right?” Starlight said as she put on a wide, perhaps a tad too symmetrical, smile.

“Uh, I don’t understand,” Sunburst said as he rubbed the side of his head with a forehoof. He placed his hoof on the table. “Did something happen to you after I left for magic school?”

Starlight’s eyes shot open wide as she stared at the far wall. “What? NO!” she cried as she quickly took booth cup and teakettle up with her magic and began pouring herself a cup of tea. “I-I don’t see what that has to do with anything! Why would you even ask that?!” she replied as her tea cup began to overflow. Seriously?! Why WOULD he ask that specifically?!

Sunburst wordlessly looked down at the overflowing cup then back up to Starlight.

“Uh… I mean! Let’s not talk about my boring life!” Starlight quickly interjected.

Sunburst couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Yes, best friends with the hero of the Crystal Empire and one of Celestia’s personal pupils, and personal pupil to the Princess of Friendship. I’m sure there’s nothing to talk about there.”

Starlight’s grin turned nervous as she returned the kettle to the table. “Well… I mean… I’m sure it’s not nearly as interesting as all the important wizarding… stuff you did once you left for magic school!”

“What?” Sunburst replied. He looked around his home. “OH! Well… I mean… There’s not much to tell per se… I mean… I just spend my time uh… wizard… Wizarding it up!”

Starlight strained her mouth muscles until her smile appeared genuine. “Riveting! Tell me more!”

Sunburst looked at Starlight in a near panic. “I JUST SAID THERE’S NOT MUCH TO TELL!”

From behind a huge stack of books, Spike glanced at the pair then down at the list in his claws. “I'm sure there's something on Twilight's list that can help here,” he said as he rapidly scanned it and went through it line by line. He suddenly dashed out from behind the book stack holding the list. “Sunburst! I need to use the table for a bit!”

Starlight and Sunburst peered at the young dragon quizzically.

“Uh, sure!” Sunburst said as he got off his stool. “Be my guest!”

Starlight also got up, lifting her cup, the teakettle and even the excess tea she had spilled with magic before floating everything over to Sunburst’s book-crammed kitchen and dumping the tea into the sink.

Sunburst looked at the display of magic and let out a little sigh. “Well, I can see why you have so many friends in high places,” he said as he walked out of the room and into his study.

Starlight looked at Sunburst in surprise as she followed, Spike bolting past her with the list as he placed it on the table and rapidly went through it.

“Erm, why’s that?” Starlight asked.

Sunburst shook his head. “You were so good at magic even before you got your cutie mark. It’s no wonder you got noticed.”

Starlight’s surprised look only increased. “What? Me?! You were the one who knew like… every magical spell ever!” She looked around the house. “And if you didn’t then, you must now!” she remarked as she motioned to all the books.

“Sure…” Sunburst said sadly. “For all the good that it’s done me.”

“… What?” Starlight replied as her forehead tightened.

“Nothing…” Sunburst said as he got on top of a wooden stool in front of an open book on a slanted desk and sat down. “I know Princess Twilight is keen on the two of us rekindling our friendship, but... it's been so long. I don't see how anything on that list is going to help.”

Starlight couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sunset’s been saying the same thing… Well… She hasn’t been as polite about it as you just were.”

Sunburst also let out a small laugh. “Yeah, that sounds like her. She certainly had no problem speaking her mind no matter what was on it.”

“Hehe… I bet…” Starlight replied. “But yeah. That list is probably useless.” Starlight waved a forehoof about dismissively. “It's not like there's some spell that would magically compel us to pick up where we left off.”

Sunburst’s face lit up. “Actually there’s several,” he said as he leaned forward, his glasses sliding down his face before he adjusted them back up his muzzle. He trotted over to a nearby shelf of scrolls and books and began removing books in a yellow glow. He began opening the books he held aloft to specific pages. “Mist Mane's Material Amity, Rockhoof's Rapport—”

Starlight raised an eyebrow.

“Flash Prance's Fellow... ship...” Sunburst caught the look and closed one of the books. He cleared his throat. “But I-I get the feeling the princess isn't looking for a spell,” he said with a smile.

Starlight let out a small laugh and waved a dismissive forehoof. “Definitely not.”

“Got it!” Spike said excitedly. He had managed to wrap himself almost completely in the list as he examined an item near the bottom of it. He began to read from the list, “And if all else fails, ask them to share an embarrassing moment from their past, maybe even something they regret!" He finished with a grin as he looked over at the two ponies.

Starlight and Sunburst exchanged almost panicked looks as they shared a beat of awkward silence.

“Uh, I don't see how that would help,” Sunburst said as beads of sweat appeared on his face.

“Uh…” Starlight trailed off and closed her eyes. She suddenly imagined Sunset’s judgmental stare as the imaginary mare pointed an accusatory forehoof in Starlight’s direction then raised a foreleg up to her mouth and made a rude sound. Starlight opened her eyes and looked directly at the awkwardly smiling stallion in front of her. “I-kinda-went-crazy-after-you-left-and-swore-revenge-on-cutie-marks-then-took-over-a-town,” she blurted out in rapid fire.

“… What?” Sunburst replied, tilting his head forward as his glasses nearly slipped off his muzzle.

Spike smiled at Starlight and gave her a thumbs up.

Starlight sighed heavily and looked away as she continued, “Yeah… And then Twilight showed up and sort of stopped all that.”

“O-oh…” Sunburst replied as he adjusted his glasses. “So uh… that’s when you became her pupil?”

Starlight let out a long, continuous groan and let herself sink to the floor. “Not exactly… I…” Starlight sighed and looked up. “Look, it’s a long story, and I’m sure you don’t want anything to do with me at this point.” Starlight stood up and turned towards the door. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry… You must have important wizard work to take care of and I’m just… Just a deranged screw up from your past that you barely remember and who’s probably distracting you from your important work.” Starlight’s horn glowed azure as the door opened. “Come on, Spike.”

Spike frowned heavily. “But… but…”

“I’m not really a wizard,” Sunburst said.

Spike motioned to Sunburst. “But, that!”

Starlight’s ears fell down around her head as she closed the door. “Ex-excuse me?” she stammered out as she turned to look at Sunburst.

It was Sunburst’s turn to look away. “After… after magic school I didn’t become a wizard.” A small, sad smile crept onto his face. “I didn’t become much of anything, really.”

For a moment, neither pony said or did anything. Starlight simply continued to stare at Sunburst blankly as Sunburst continued to stare at nothing in particular.

Starlight turned to Spike. “Uh… Spike? Do you mind… erm… giving us some time alone?”

Spike looked down at the list. “Wow! I didn’t think things were going that well, but Twilight has a number of suggestions and even positions listed here you might find—”

Sunburst’s face turned beet red.

“WHAT?!” Starlight exclaimed. “NO! I mean… I just think Sunburst and I need some time to catch up… privately.”

Spike pointed to the list he was wrapped up in. “Should I leave the list?”

Starlight’s face turned a slightly lighter shade of purple. “Oh, please no. We just need to talk is all.”

“Well alright,” Spike said with a smile as he walked over to the door and began unwrapping the list from around himself. “So you think you’ve got this friendship stuff figured out?”

Starlight smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think I can get by without any of Twilight's…advice.” Starlight winced slightly. “Skeevy or otherwise.”

Spike nodded. “Well, catch you back at the castle then, Starlight!” he said with a wave as he opened the door and stepped out.

Starlight smiled and waved back. “Yeah! See you there. If you see Sunset tell her ‘thanks’ for me, Twilight too… I guess one part of her list sorta helped.”

“You got it!” Spike said with a salute. “Go get ‘em, tiger!” he added with a wry grin.

Starlight’s cheeks flushed slightly as she closed the door and turned to Sunburst. “Well that was embarrassing.”

Sunburst just sighed and shook his head. “Not as embarrassing as me.” Sunburst suddenly found himself being yanked back towards the table as Starlight hooked a foreleg around one of his.

“Hah!” Starlight exclaimed. “I bet I can beat you there by miles,” she said with a grin. “Do you have any more tea?” her smile turned slightly sheepish. “Or maybe something stronger?”

“Well…”Sunburst thought for a moment. “I think I have a bottle of wine or two stashed behind a scroll somewhere.”

“That!” Starlight said. “Find that.” Although worry had made its way onto her face, Starlight still smiled. “Because with everything I have to tell you, I think we’ll both need it…”

Chapter 10: The One in Which Pinkie Mostly Continues To Be Ignored

Author's Note

To address a few comments I've gotten and some I may get, I've decided to go with The Journal of the Two Sisters explanation that Luna and Celestia are from a race of alicorns, which would make the baby's birth unprecedented in a way at least in the fact that Cadance is ascended but still of the typical pony race so, supposedly the expectation is she'd give birth to one of the other three races.

Chapter 10: The One in Which Pinkie Mostly Continues To Be Ignored

Chapter 10: The One in Which Pinkie Mostly Continues To Be Ignored

Sunset Shimmer cautiously poked her head down the hallway that would lead to the kitchen before continuing forward. Things were likely going to get awkward and quite likely heated with her adopted mom, but there was also a couple other ponies out and about that could make for similar exchanges. She probably hadn’t done much to endear herself to Twilight this trip. Even if she was confident their friendship was intact, she wouldn’t blame the princess if she was a bit… dare she think it? Peeved with her and ready and willing to hash out the situation in much the same manner Sunset herself had a few times today.

Of course TWILIGHT still had a thing or two to answer for herself!

Sunset stopped and glared upwards as if she was trying to turn her eyes inward on the offending organ inside her skull. Shut UP brain! Maybe I could have just told Twilight what was bugging me instead of spending a good portion of today antagonizing her at every opportunity!

Sunset’s mind was more than happy to offer a counterpoint, Or maybe Twilight Sparkle, being such the clever cookie that she is, could figure it out for herself!

Sunset grunted and pressed onwards. Arguing with herself wasn’t going to help and she wasn’t looking for Twilight just yet anyhow. Besides, there was another pony Sunset needed to keep an eye out for. Princess Luna likely had an even better reason to be upset and Sunset couldn’t think of anything that would help her verbally defend herself there. Plus the Princess of the Night was still something of a mysterious boogeymare to Sunset. Sure, Twilight had written her about Princess Luna returning from the darkness and even adjusting to modern pony life. It even sounded like it was a bit awkward for the lunar princess at times, but said talks also clued Sunset into the fact that Luna was also more than capable of pouring on the ‘scary’ if it suited her. Still, maybe they could swap stories about transforming into horrible monsters that nearly destroyed worlds and bond over that at least.

Sunset let out a sigh that echoed in the empty and quiet crystal hallway. Despite having spent much of her time with Celestia learning everything she could about her new mother, Princess Luna was a bit of a blank spot for her. She wished she knew more about Celestia’s sister, but her mom always steered conversations about that particular topic away until they were talking about something else. Eventually Sunset just avoided the topic altogether, seeing as bringing up Nightmare Moon never seemed to bear any fruit…

Come to think of it, Princess Luna seemed to know very little of Sunset herself… It sounded like Luna simply knew Sunset as a former pupil of Celestia’s and not that Luna and Sunset were actually kind-of, sort-of family in a way. Maybe they could also bond over the fact that Celestia wasn’t very good about talking about personal things that were bugging her even with those closest to her… Well… maybe bugging her…

Sunset felt a tense pit in her stomach as she considered the very real possibility that Celestia just didn’t care about her anymore. Even with Sunset taking the journal with her as an admittedly subtle hint that she kinda, sorta, maybe felt bad about things and was willing to talk, Celestia never tried to write her back. Maybe Celestia really did feel there was no reason to reach out to her and just wanted her out of her life.

What else was she to think?

Sunset shook her head. Plaguing herself in self-doubt wasn’t going to help. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering… And oh-boy, had Sunset proven that time and time again. Sometimes spectacularly.

Sunset stopped as she reached a pair of massive crystal doors. If this castle’s layout was anything like the one in Canterlot, there’d be a dining area behind them with the kitchen neatly attached. Her target was likely hiding away in said kitchen and not the dining area so she probably had one more room to figure out what she was going to say and hopefully keep the exchange civil instead of launching straight into an angry tirade.

Sunset sighed again. Yeah, right… Like you have a chance of keeping your emotions at bay here. Sunset thought as she opened one of the doors in a turquoise glow of her horn and stepped inside the dining area.

As suspected, there was a long, ornately carved table with equally extravagant chairs surrounding it in the room. Light poured in from giant windows and everything sparkled with fractured light as the sunbeams hit the furniture, which sometimes sent out prismatic rainbows of light off in a random direction.

Sunset would have stayed to marvel at the room’s beauty, but she had a job to do!

Also Princess Luna was standing in the room and shooting Sunset a death glare so she was very likely going to die.

Sunset met Princess Luna’s steely gaze with panic as her legs locked up on her. I’m… I’m done for!

Luna simply stared forward for a moment. Obviously angry, but maybe content to sit on her feelings quietly? Sunset made a quick mental prayer that Luna would simply walk out of the room and let her be.

And then Luna spoke, “That was a very unkind thing you said to my sister in the nursery.”

Sunset swallowed. This was exactly what she expected Luna to say, provided she spoke and didn’t just blast her or like… use dream magic to make her go crazy. So what was the appropriate response?! ‘Hey! You and I both transformed into horrible, powerful, entities with a penchant for megalomania! We should be friends!’ Maybe she should bring up the monsters born of darkness thing?! Was that too soon?! Maybe… Maybe she could build up to that and lead with something else?! I mean… At heart, she was just trying to help Cadance, and it’s not like she didn’t feel sorry for…

Sunset closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I know,” she said. She opened her eyes back up. “I know I went too far… Mom…” Sunset cringed and then continued, “Princess Celestia does have a habit of pushing ponies harder than she means to but…” Sunset gave Luna an unsure expression. Taking things this direction might clear the air a bit or just make the Princess even angrier. On the other hoof, she really did feel bad, and should at least try to explain herself. “But I don’t think Celestia is to blame for me deciding to steal Twilight’s crown, transforming myself, and almost attacking Equestria. I… I got to that point all on my own and it wasn’t fair of me to even accidently suggest Celestia was responsible for doing that to me or”— Sunset lowered her head and tensed a bit “—any other pony… And I’m sorry I made her think that…”

Luna’s steely gaze softened a little. “Mother,” she said simply.

Sunset looked back up. “Ex… excuse me?”

“You referred to Celestia as ‘mom’, and if that’s what she is to you then you needn’t change how you address her around me.”

Sunset wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Oh…”

Luna continued, “If Celestia took it upon herself to adopt you, then I believe your family tie is not something that can just be dismissed… If you still think about her in that regard, you have every right to express it.”

Sunset’s face lit up, her eyes suddenly becoming warm and moist. “So… So… Does mom still think of me as her daughter?”

“I’m afraid it is not my place to say.”

Sunset’s eyes widened and she felt her heart began to pound against her chest cavity as if it was trying to escape.

Luna met Sunset’s surprised look with one of her own. “My apologies,” Luna said. “I did not mean to alarm with my reply… But it sounds like you and my sister are overdue for a talk.” Luna turned to shoot a sour look at a pair of doors that no doubt led to the kitchen. “A fact only today I have been made aware of,” she said in an annoyed tone.

Sunset let out another sigh and shook her head. “That’s mom for ya, always playing it close to the vest when something is wrong.” Sunset paused. Did… Did she really just casually blurt that out to the princess who transformed into the legendary Nightmare Moon?!

Luna turned back and let out a small mirthful chuckle. “You indeed know her well.” She smiled warmly at Sunset. “And your words in the nursery, while perhaps misspoken, were not necessarily untrue. Though it is good that you are sorry,” Luna said with a nod. “Forgive my earlier coldness, but I know so little about you. I was trying to figure out what kind of pony you are.”

Luna was apparently a goldmine of sentences Sunset wasn’t sure how she should respond to. Sunset decided to get some clarification. “Well… what kind of pony do you think I am?”

Luna’s smile grew ever so slightly. “I think you are very kind, Sunset Shimmer.”

Sunset bit at her upper lip. It had become glaringly apparent to her already that she was not prepared for this day, but she was NOT prepared for this day!

Luna continued, “Kind, well-meaning, but perhaps a little too eager to take the world on your own shoulders when it’s in your best interest to ask others for help. And yes, you haven’t quite mastered the anger that dwells in your heart, but it’s an anger that stems from the belief that you know what’s best.” Luna chuckled again. “Clearly you’re not always correct in this area, but as I’ve come to understand it, you’ve made great progress in that regard—” Luna opened her lips into a tooth-filled smile. “—Princess Sunset Shimmer.”

“Pa-pa-princess?!” Sunset exclaimed. She unfurled her wings and pointed at one with a forehoof. “Oh… These?! No, no, no, no, no! I just… I just got these when I suffused myself with pure friendship energy while trying to save my friends… and er… my world…” Sunset blushed slightly. “Maybe this one, too.”

Luna laughed and shook her head. “Quite the Princess-worthy deed. While my sister and I were born to the alicorn race, you clearly earned the gifts bestowed upon you.” Luna looked up, her eyes going distant as if she was looking at something far outside this room. “Though I confess I find it quite interesting we now live in a world where ponies, even ones that have achieved alicornhood, can give birth to other ponies with this gift.”

Sunset couldn’t help but put on a slightly devilish grin. “Me too!” As if catching herself Sunset suddenly cleared her throat. “But why do you think all that about me? You’ve just met me!”

Luna looked down at Sunset again, smile already on her face. “You remind me so much of another,” Luna said as she nodded towards the kitchen. “In fact, my sister had to go to great lengths to convince me you were adopted.”

Sunset unexpectedly felt her heart began to soar. “… Oh?”

Luna nodded. “Yes. In hindsight, yelling at my sister as to why she told me nothing about her daughter or the stallion who sired you was perhaps not the best way to start that particular conversation.”

Sunset smiled happily and let out a long laugh of joy and relief. Never could she have dreamed that things would go well with Luna, but clearly she had misjudged the alicorn mare. Regardless of what happened centuries ago, the mare before her was warm and comforting, things Sunset desperately needed at the moment.

Luna continued, “You are unequivocally the daughter of Celestia in mind and spirit.” Luna’s tone turned wistful. “I wish I could have known you when you lived at the castle. I would have been overjoyed to have you as my niece.”

Sunset’s laughter suddenly caught in her throat and turned into something quite different. She let out a series of quiet sobs as Luna’s word struck a chord deep within her and emotions overtook her completely. She didn’t know feeling acceptance from her would-be adopted aunt would touch her so, but the lunar princess provided her with a reassurance she didn’t even know she was looking for.

Luna trotted over to Sunset and gently wrapped a wing around her. “Shhh… Dry your eyes, little one. Save your emotions for those whom you came here to speak with.”

Sunset looked up in surprise. “How did you…”

Luna grinned. “Well, I think I figured out one thing that is different from my sister. You have the courage to face your past demons head on.”

Sunset cringed and ran a foreleg over her moistened face. “I think you might be a little disappointed about me in that regard… in multiple senses of the phrase.”

Luna let out another mirthful chuckle. “No, I doubt that,” Luna replied as she lightly pulled Sunset to her momentarily in a quick hug then parted, backing up a few steps. “How do you feel?”

Sunset smiled at Luna. “Happy,” her smile quickly fell a pit of wide eyed fright, “but also terrified.”

Luna nodded. “Take heart, my little pony. The greatest monsters are usually not outside but within us.”

Sunset winced and looked away. “Ain’t that the truth…”

“Hah! Well, I meant in our thoughts, but you have a point.” Luna smiled warmly. “Still, you have strength and resolve and both will serve you well for the two you’re going to speak with.” Luna turned towards the dining room doors and began to trot off. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Sunset smiled and nodded. “Alright…” Sunset felt her face heat up slightly as the next words rolled out of her. “Thank you, auntie…”

“Farewell, my dear niece,” Luna said, unable to conceal her smile or the fact that she ended up skipping out of the room instead of the dignified trot she usually carried herself with.

Sunset grinned after the mare for a moment before her brow crinkled. “Waitaminute?! Two?!”

“Oh!” A soft, surprised voice sounded out from the direction of the kitchen. “Hello again, Sunset.”

Sunset turned her confusion and levity quickly fleeing in the face of her anger. She locked her bloodshot eyes with the pink alicorn standing just a bit aways from her.

“WHY AREN’T YOU IN BED?!”

-ooo-

The alicorn baby giggled happily as it flapped her wings, filled its horn with magical energy, and let loose a small blast into the air. This was quickly followed by another blast and another as the baby gleefully shot small beams of destruction in all directions. Each blast was intercepted by a purple beam that ended in a shield, catching the blasts in midair before they could do further damage to the castle.

“Well! At least she’s having fun!” Pinkie said with a smile on her face as the baby flew her one way then the other as Pinkie held onto the pink mass of wings, horn, and devastation. Pinkie’s smile suddenly capsized, sinking into the deep ocean of terror she suddenly sported on her face. “Because I’m still convinced we’re all going to die!” she shouted shrilly.

For each yellow blast the baby let fly, Twilight Sparkle had a shield ready to counter it. She jumped and ducked, got up on her hooves then back to her belly, all while continuously letting out counter energy to intercept that baby’s own magical blasts before they could do any damage.

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie let out a happy “Whhhheeeeeeee…!” That ended with the sound of terrified sobbing as she held onto the baby with both hooves. If the weight of a fully grown mare meant anything to the baby, it didn’t act as such. Instead it continued to fly in a happy circle of magical blasts shooting out wildly around the nursery.

“Pinkie, hold her still!” Twilight cried as her eyes darted across the room to track the tiny bundle of mayhem.

“I’m TRYIiIiIiIiIiIiING!” Pinkie exclaimed as she put her hooves down and dug them against the smooth crystal ground as best she could. However, between the baby’s flying strength and the floor’s smoothness, Pinkie’s extra drag did little to slow the baby down as small wafts of dust drifted up from Pinkie’s extremities being dragged along.

Beads of sweat appeared on Twilight’s face as another baby blast fired out. This time Twilight ducked as the blast fired overhead.

‘Knock, knock, knock!’

Twilight turned to the nursery door with a relieved expression. Oh, thank Celestia! She wasn’t sure who was on the other side, but it was pretty undeniable that she could use some help. At the very least whoever was out there could maybe grab hold of Pinkie and slow the baby down somewhat.

“Come in!” Twilight said. “Watch out! There’s a lot of magical beams being shot about in here!”

As if to punctuate the statement, the baby fired a couple more blasts which Twilight quickly countered.

One of the nursery’s giant double doors opened, revealing Spike holding a rolled-up scroll. “Hey, Twilight!” Spike greeted, holding up his free claw. He looked around briefly. “Hey Pinkie! How’s it—”

‘PCHOOOOO!’

“—Ah!” Spike let out a startled yelp and ducked as a blast of magic sailed over his head.

“I told you!” Twilight said. “Magic beams!”

“Yeah! I got that!” Spike replied. He turned to Pinkie once more. “How are you holding up, Pinkie?”

“Much better than expected!” Pinkie replied happily as the baby continued to soar overhead, Pinkie dangling ineffectively below it. “But I thought we’d all be dead already, so the bar was pretty low to begin with!”

The baby let out yet another blast. Twilight dove to her right and fired another counter from her horn. “Hey, Spike… You probably have some nice weight to you, right?”

Spike placed his claws on his hips and gave Twilight an indignant look. “What are you implying?”

“Well, if you could help by maybe grabbing Pinkie and try to stop this baby from flying around and blasting everything in sight, I’d be most—”

‘PCHOOOOO!’

Twilight cringed and put up circular barrier a mere moment before her eyes went cross-eyed at the spot the magical blast of energy just hit in front of her face.

“—grateful!”

Spike cocked an eyebrow. “Why don’t you just put up a barrier like the one you just used?”

“Uh…”

‘PCHOOOOO!’

Twilight’s barrier fell away as she quickly countered another blast. “Because that would only help me?” She replied. “And then Pinkie might die?”

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” Pinkie screamed shrilly.

Twilight nodded towards Pinkie. “And I have it straight from the horse’s mouth that Pinkie doesn’t want that!”

“No, not around yourself,” Spike said. He motioned with a claw to Pinkie and the baby. “Around the baby!”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh!” Her horn glowed purple followed by the soft sound of magic rippling. “Good idea, Spike!”

“WHY DID YOU TRAP ME INSIDE WITH THE BABY?!” Pinkie yelled as the baby continued to fly with Pinkie latched on to her, the purple ball of energy both she and Pinkie were in doing little to dull the fun it was apparently having flying about the room.

“You’ll be fine!” Twilight said. “Hanging onto the baby like that you’re pretty much out of its arc of fire! Just keep holding on!”

Pinkie replied with a series of sad sobs as she continued to be Equestria’s least effective anchor for a baby.

Twilight looked back down at Spike. “I’m sure the baby will tire itself out soon.” Twilight’s face lit up. “So how’d Starlight’s talk with Sunburst it go?”

“Actually, she’s probably still talking to Sunburst.”

“Oh?” Twilight asked with interest. Her eyes suddenly caught something and she stared at the scroll in Spike’s claw intently. “Hey wait, is that my list?!”

Spike put on a sheepish smile and quickly hid the scroll behind his back. “Is what yourlist?”

Twilight gave Spike an unamused look. “Spike, I’m an adult pony, not a newborn foal. I have a pretty rock-solid understanding of object permanence…” Twilight’s ears perked up as if a thought just occurred to her. “Hey, Pinkie!” she called out. “Try covering the baby’s eyes for a second!”

“Uh… Okay!” Pinkie shouted back. From underneath the baby, Pinkie rapidly shifted her muzzle and head downwards, causing her long collection of pink curls to flip in front of her face. She followed this up by throwing her head back causing her mess of curls to land on the baby’s face.

The baby responding with a terrified scream as it began firing even more magic and flying the giant purple orb containing it and Pinkie into walls, pillars, and furniture.

“THAT ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE!” Pinkie informed in a terrified tone.

Twilight nodded. “Okay, so the baby is filled with a profound sense of unease and fear when it believes the universe has suddenly been unmade.”

“WHY WOULD YOU THINK OTHERWISE?!” Pinkie replied.

“It's an alicorn baby born from pony parents!” Twilight exclaimed. “We know next to nothing about it! I guess maybe we should be happy it’s not overjoyed at the thought of everything around it suddenly winking out of existence!”

Pinkie flipped her hair down off the flying foal’s face and back over her own. Able to see again, the baby merrily resumed its joyous game of flying all over the place and blasting at the barrier Twilight created around it and Pinkie.

“I’D SETTLE FOR THE BABY WANTING TO TAKE A LITTLE NAPPY-WAPPY ONCE IT THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT TO DESTROYEE-WOYEE!” Pinkie shouted.

“Don’t say that!” Twilight said. “We want the baby to grow up to be a force of good, not an evil entity that destroys everything around it until it decides it’s time for bed!”

“I’M NOT CONVINCED THAT’S CURRENTLY NOT THE CASE!”

Twilight rubbed at her chin with a forehoof. “Gee, figuring out the motivations for a newborn who can fly and shoot building destroying levels of magic out of its horn sure is a lot harder than I would have thought.”

“Uh, Twilight?” Spike interjected. “When would you ever use that information like… ever?”

Twilight turned to look at Spike. “Well Spike, considering Sunset seems intent on having her own baby alicorn and hey… I might want a child at some point, even if it does turn out to be a flying force of near endless power. So yeah, I’m pretty sure this is a worthwhile endeavor.”

“Heh-heeeee… Fair enough,” Spike replied.

Twilight glanced over at the baby who had decided doing loop-de-loops in its magic bubble was now preferable to doing circles around the room. All the while, Pinkie held fast as the baby took her upwards and downwards again, the pink mare alternatively letting out sounds of excited joy and terrified dread as if she was currently riding the world’s most extreme roller coaster.

Twilight put on another thoughtful look. “Huh… I’ll have to ask Cadance and Shining how much the baby eats… I wonder if all this excess energy it’s putting out could be used to efficiently generate electricity.”

Spike gave Twilight a blank look. “Are you seriously considering making some sort of baby power plant?”

“I’m just thinking pragmatically!” Twilight exclaimed.

“HeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEY!” Pinkie exclaimed as the baby continued to gleefully do loop-de-loops. “WeEeEeE cAaAaAAn MaAaAaAaAybEeEeEeE siIiIiIiIick the baAaAaAaAaby OoOoOon the NeEeEext ViIillaAaAan WeEeEeEeEe HaAaAaAve to FiIiIiIiIight!”

“Oh, good thinking, Pinkie!” Twilight said. “I should really start a list here.” She turned towards Spike, “Speaking of lists…”

Spike sighed and produced the list. “Yeah, this is the list. Starlight wanted me to thank you and say ‘one part’ was useful.”

“What?! Just one part?!” Twilight cried in disbelief. “But there’s SO much there!” Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Wait, did Sunset send you back with the list?”

Spike shook his head. “Actually she came back to the castle before me. I was kinda wondering if you’ve seen her.”

Twilight groaned. “I didn’t even know she came back by herself! What is that girl…” Twilight trailed off as realization set in. “Wait… So if you’re back, then Starlight is alone with Sunburst?”

Spike nodded.

Twilight frowned heavily. “Did you tell her about the positions I suggested?”

“Well, she knows that’s a thing on the list.”

Twilight puffed out her lower lip in a pout. “She knew about it and she still didn’t want it?”

“‘fraid not,” Spike said shaking his head.

Twilight sighed. “But I was hoping if things went well with Sunburst they could be part of my control group!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Control group? What’s uh… What’s going on in the other groups?”

“Oh, you know… Various objects, items… foodstuff…”

“Foodstuff?”

“FoOoOoOoOdSuUuUuUuUuff MaAaAaAaAaAkes EeEeEeEvEeEeEeEryEeEeEeEeE thIiIiIiIiIing beEeEeEeEter!” Pinkie called out.

“Wow…” Spike uttered as he stared down at the list. “Even—?”

“YeEeEeEeEeEeEeEs!”

Twilight nodded. “What little data I have so far seems to confirm that theory. With some outliers, of course. I highly recommend you avoid chunky peanut butter if you attempt anything towards the bottom of that list.” Twilight frowned. “I am not in the control group.”

Spike cringed and grabbed the sides of his head. “Ah! Why would you even try that?!”

“We were out of creamy!” Twilight exclaimed. “Peanut butter was on the docket for that day!” Twilight threw out her forehooves. “What was I supposed to do?! Cancel the experiment?! I don’t think so!”

“Why are you even researching this?!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Sciiiiiiieeeeeeence? Look, if Starlight didn’t want the list and she and Sunburst are still talking, what are they talking about?”

“Oh, well we got to the bit about sharing something embarrassing from your past or something you regret and then Starlight blurted out the whole cutie mark stealing thing and then Sunburst sort of admitted he hasn’t done much with himself and then… I guess they wanted some private time to talk about that?”

“Huh…” Twilight uttered. She smiled slightly. “Well, so long as they’re talking, I guess this was a win.”

-ooo-

“So, let me get this straight…” Sunburst said as he stared out in front of him with a serious look on his face. “You used a combination of Grey Haven’s magical dispelling and Shining Color’s stain removal spell to steal cutie marks?! You then contained them using your own take on Jelly-jam’s preservation spell?!”

“Er, yes?” Starlight said. She floated over a goblet filled with a deep red liquid to her lips and tilted it, taking a big sip.

“Brilliant!” Sunburst said as a quill suspended in midair by a yellow glow feverishly danced across a blank scroll in front of Sunburst as he stared down at his own writing with a slightly delirious and giddy look.

Starlight smiled pensively at Sunburst. “Well, I’m flattered you’re excited by the evil dark magic I created to steal cutie marks, but I don’t think this is what Twilight had in mind when she wanted us to ‘reconnect’.”

“Sure, sure!” Sunburst said as he put his quill down in an inkwell, turned to face Starlight, and floated his own wineglass up to his lips. Putting down his wine, he smiled widely at Starlight. “Now for the brainwashing, did you simply wear the ponies down through mundane means, or was there a spell for that too?”

Starlight’s smile only turned more embarrassed as she brought her glass back up to her lips and tilted it along with her muzzle until both were pointed skyward. She looked back down her, now empty, glass. “Er… I umm… Is there more?” Starlight asked as she held up her wine glass and waved it from side to side.

“Oh! Umm…” Sunburst glanced to a shelf filled with scrolls, removed several with a yellow glow of his horn and pulled out a full bottle of red wine. Starlight took the bottle in an azure glow.

Sunburst glanced down at his scroll. “So… er…. Would you say it was harder removing a cutie mark from a princess? I mean… magically speaking, of course.”

Starlight uncorked the bottle of wine, brought it straight to her lips, and took a couple of gulps.

-ooo-

“Still!” Twilight said forcefully as she stared at the list. “I put a lot of effort into this friendship lesson!” Twilight let out a groan. “Don’t tell me Sunset convinced both you and Starlight that the list was useless!”

“Hey, I tried using the list!” Spike said. “But I guess Sunset was sort of right in that it fell apart pretty quickly… I mean, aside from that ‘if all else fails’ bit, I couldn’t find much that would help when Starlight and Sunburst started awkwardly wondering why you asked Starlight to do this in the first place. I mean…” Spike held his claws up in a shrug. “Maybe Sunset had a point that just asking Starlight to reconnect with Sunburst for the sake of friendship is kinda a weird thing to do?”

“But I got all my friends when Celestia asked me to come to Ponyville and make some friends!” Twilight said, motioning to Pinkie to make her point.

“IiIiIiIiIiI caAaAaAaAaAaAn’t feEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEl aAaAaAaAaAnythIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiING buUuUuUuUuUuUt the buUuUuUrniIiIiIiIng iIiIiIiIiIn my aAaAaAaArms frOoOoOoOoOm hoOoOoOoOldiIiIiIiIiIiIng OoOoOoOoOoOoOn!” Pinkie replied as she continued to be spun around as she held on tightly to the baby.

“You’re doing fine!” Twilight shouted at Pinkie.

“Yeah, but Celestia didn’t write you a big list on how to do it!” Spike insisted, pointing at Twilight’s own big list. “And you even tried to avoid making friends and only made some when you all saved Equestria together!”

“See, I thought about that!” Twilight said. “Sending Starlight to save the world and make some friends in the process is going to be part of my advanced lessons! This is only lesson one.”

Spike gave Twilight a concerned look. “Wait… Are you just hoping something will come around to threaten Equestria, or are you planning on making something happen?”

“Well, I figure Equestria is threatened often enough that the chances of me being able to create and utilize a lesson for Starlight based on this fact is probably solid enough, but I have several contingency plans in case—”

Spike threw his claws up in front of him. “Sorry I asked. But I think Sunset’s point is that making friends should be a bit more natural process?”

“Ugh!” Twilight exclaimed. “Sunset again! I don’t even know what’s going on with her! She’s been messing things up and getting on my case all day!”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on her?”

“Me?!” Twilight cried as she pointed a forehoof towards herself. “She’s the one who's been getting into shouting matches with Princess Celestia and me at every turn!”

Spike scratched the back of his head. “Well, I think she’s sort of lashing out at you because maybe she has some issues with you and Starlight?”

“What?!” Twilight exclaimed. “But she seems to like Starlight! Don’t tell me she’s jealous because I made Starlight my pupil and not…” Twilight trailed off as she thought about her last, nearly complete sentence for a bit. “… Whoops.”

“‘Whoops’?” Spike parroted as a cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sure you can do better than that!”

“Hey! Things were different when I met Sunset! We still lived at the library. I was figuring out the whole ‘Princess of Friendship’ stuff still. Time was running out before we had to go back so it’s not like I had a lot of time to sort this all out…”

“Well… It’s not like we left right away… I mean, after we defeated Sunset we still stayed for the Fall Formal.”

Twilight went quiet for a second. “… A cute guy asked me to dance, Spike! I’m not made out of stone.”

Spike narrowed his eyes slightly. “Why did you so readily agree to dance with Flash, anyway?” he asked. “I mean… you’d only been a human for a few days and suddenly you were all gaga for the guy!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at Spike. “I don’t know Spike. Why did you go all gaga over the Rarity in that dimension despite being a dog? Heck! Why do you have a crush on the Rarity here despite being a dragon when she’s a pony?!”

“Heh-heeeee…” Spike chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. “I formally retract my question…”

Twilight sighed. “Alright, so I could have handled the whole Starlight/Sunset situation better… But I mean… Why doesn’t Sunset just come up to me instead of lashing out all the time?”

“Twilight, Sunset has the emotional stability of a cantaloupe… And not like just any cantaloupe from Ponyville market. This cantaloupe grew up fat and has been picked on by the other cantaloupes all his life for being bigger than them!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Spike, for the last time, nopony cares how much you weigh! I mean, it’s not like anypony has ever once said anything to you about your weight!”

“You did just a few minutes ago!”

“I wasn’t calling you fat!” Twilight exclaimed. “I was just hoping your and Pinkie’s combined weight might slow the flying baby down!” Twilight turned and briefly looked at the baby as it continued to effortlessly do loop-de-loops as Pinkie held on tight. “Though on further consideration, I’m not sure it matters what you weigh as the baby seems to have no concept of gravity when it’s flying.”

“Okay, fine! But what about that time that Rarity called me her chubby little Spikey-wikey?!” Spike cried out as he held his claws facing upwards in front of him.

“Spike! She just thought she was being cute! Rarity has a rather large collection of things she’s called you including ‘her big, strong, Spike-wikey’ and ‘Spikey-wikey the brave spider shooer-awayer! What she calls you depends on what she wants from you or even just how she feels at the time! Besides, that’s coming from a pony who occasionally eats her own weight in ice cream.”

“But she cries that out,” Spike said. He licked his lips. “And then her tears are yummy and sweet!”

“…Okaaaay!” Twilight said awkwardly with a nervous smile. “Well, putting the subject back on track, what’s all this about Sunset being unstable?”

Spike’s jaw dropped. “You mean you honestly haven’t noticed the signs?!”

“What signs?!”

-ooo-<

Sunset Shimmer lifted the bun of a hamburger as she sat in a booth next to Fluttershy. As Sunset examined everything under the bun, her eyes began to fill with tears. “There’s… sniff… There’s pickles on my burger even though I specifically asked for no pickles… I think the girl who took my order still hates me because of what I did at the Fall Formal.”

Fluttershy reached over a hand to pat Sunset on the shoulder. Sitting across a red table from Sunset and Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash raised a hand to her forehead and Rarity sighed as she scratched Spike’s chin.

“Not this again,” Rainbow Dash uttered in an exasperated tone.

“There, there…” Fluttershy said in a comforting tone. “I’m sure it was an honest mistake.”

“Indeed,” Rarity chimed in as she momentarily glanced away. “Sunset, that girl doesn’t even go to our school and she looks to be about 30…”

“No!” Sunset exclaimed tearfully. “I deserve this!” she cried as she took a bite of her burger and swallowed. “This is my penance for all my evil ways.” Sunset took another bite. “Sob… Oh, pickles make it taste so weird!”

Spike looked up at Sunset in concerned and suddenly hopped out of Rarity’s lap and ran across the brick floor. “Uh, Twilight?” he said as he approached the purple princess turned human. “Sunset’s kind of having a moment and can maybe use your help?”

“In a moment, Spike!” Twilight said without looking back at Spike as she waved a hand at him behind her back. Twilight stared intently at a screen on a red, rectangular machine that stood slightly higher than a human as Pinkie Pie leaned backwards with her head in an opening of the machine, her mouth pointed up. “This machine apparently has hundreds of drink combinations despite it’s relatively small size! I’m trying to figure out how it works,” Twilight continued as she pushed a few buttons on a screen and a stream of colorful liquid poured down into Pinkie’s waiting mouth.

-ooo-<

Sunset Shimmer stood with her arms wrapped around Applejack and her head buried in the cowgirls shoulders. Sunset let out powerful, sorrowful sobs as she clutched Applejack tightly.

Applejack sighed and gently patted Sunset on the back. “Now Ah’m sure the store just ran out of your favorite flavor of microwave burritos and that there’s no one who's following you around to buy up your favorite things before you can get to them ‘cause they’re mad atcha…”

Spike eyed the scene then turned to Twilight, patting the girl on the leg with a paw a few times. “Uh… Twilight? I think—”

“Oh my GOSH, Spike!” Twilight said as she leaned down on a grocery store counter, her head on top of the bar scanner as a male grey-faced cashier with an annoyed expression so deeply ingrained on his face that it looked like it was chiseled in stone stood motionless holding a TV Dinner. Twilight continued in her giddy tone, “This machine uses condensed LIGHT to scan those weird zebra print looking things and—OW!” Twilight suddenly bolted straight up and covered an eye.

“Are you alright?!” Spike asked in concern.

“Fine!” Twilight replied as she immediately bent back down, putting her face right up against the bar scanner. “Just that condensed light is really bright!”

“Ooo!” Pinkie exclaimed as she zipped up to Twilight. “Are you looking for the little gnome inside the machine who enters the grocery numbers to the checker’s computer?!”

“There’s a gnome?!” Twilight asked excitedly.

The grocery checker’s shoulders slumped forward as he let out a long, continuous sigh.

-ooo-<

Sitting on a light-blue couch in between an annoyed-looking Rarity and Rainbow Dash who both leaned forward with their elbows resting on their knees and hands cupping their chins, Sunset Shimmer let out a loud, anguished moan as tears practically shot out of her eyes.

Sitting diagonally away from the other girls on a light-blue loveseat, Fluttershy grinned sheepishly as she sat next to Pinkie and whispered, “Maybe showing Sunset ‘Up’ wasn’t such a great idea…”

“Her?!” Pinkie said. She turned forward with wide, glassy eyes as she puffed out her quivering lower lip. “I just thought this movie was about balloons and a flying house! Sniff… I feel so sad and betrayed!”

Sitting on Twilight’s lap who sat in a big easy-chair, Spike looked up. “Uh, Twilight? Maybe you should try to comfort your—”

“Oh, Celestia!” Twilight exclaimed as she stared in front of her intently. “And they do this all with computers?!”

Spike sighed. “Nevermind…”

Applejack sat on the floor cross-legged with an elbow propped against a knee and a cheek resting on her fist. “Buckle in, y’all… We’re only five minutes into the film.”

<-ooo->

“Okay!” Twilight said in a huff. “So I can get distracted in that other world! I can’t help it with all the technological wonders they have just all over the place!” Twilight threw back her head and moaned. “Still, I guess I should talk to Sunset about all this… Even if I didn’t mean to spurn her with Starlight, I guess I sort of accidently did…” She turned back to Spike. “Okay, Spike… I’ll find Sunset and bring this all up with her. I’m sure we can work things out without too much trouble.”

Spike smiled and gently punched one of Twilight’s shoulders. “Now that sounds like something a Princess of Friendship would say!”

Form the center of the room, the baby’s elated cries grew as Pinkie’s terrified shrieking increased.

“TwiIiIiIiIiIiLiIiIiIiIiIiIiIght! The baAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAby is OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOnly geEeEeEeEeEeEtIiIiIiIiIiIng FaAaAaAaAaAaAsteEeEeEeEeEeEeEr!”

Twilight turned to look at Pinkie and the baby in concern. The pair were now little more now than a pink blur suspended in a magical purple bubble. “Thanks, Spike… But maybe we should help Pinkie first.”

Spike scratched the back of his head. “That’s, uh, that’s also probably a good thing for the Princess of Friendship to say...”

Chapter 11: Hope You Packed a Toothbrush Because We’re Going on a Feels Trip

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 12: Everything Is Good and Will Stay That Way Forever!

Chapter 12: Everything Is Good and Will Stay That Way Forever!

Starlight half-trotted, half-stumbled past rows of crystal houses, her expression likewise a mix of half-determination, half-irritation. Lagging behind her was Sunburst, his gait a little more controlled, if slightly wobbly. His face expressed concern as he watched Starlight and glanced nervously at other ponies who couldn’t help but stare at the purple unicorn’s wobbly walk through the crystal street…

“I just can’t believe it!” Starlight cried.

… Quite possibly because she was also doing an awful lot of yelling in addition to her inebriated stroll through town.

Sunburst’s ears flopped around his head as he lowered it and looked forward. “It’s not a big deal…” he said. “Really… This is all unnecessary.”

Starlight turned to shoot a vexed look at Sunburst before almost tripping on a sidewalk curb. “Ooff… It most certainly IS a big deal!” she cried as she stepped onto the sidewalk.

Head still lowered, Sunburst looked around at the crystal ponies on the street. With his muzzle pointed downward his glasses began to slide down as if taking this chance to escape, however Sunburst quickly reached up a forehoof and pressed them back against his face.

Starlight continued. “… And it’s totally necessary!”

“… I really don’t think it is…”

Starlight narrowed her eyes, turned and quickened her pace, almost barreling straight into Sunburst who found himself backing away to avoid the angry mare.

“You should be a wizard!” Starlight declared as she stared Sunburst in the face.

Sunburst glanced away. “Okay, but… I’m not sure that title is really one that exists anymore and…”

Starlight raised her forehooves and placed them against the sides of Sunburst’s face. Not so gently, she turned his head to face her and looked him dead in the eyes. “But Sunburst, you’re so smart! And you know sooo much about magic! How can you not be a wizard?!”

Sunburst swallowed. “Erm, um… Well, I told you… I have the knowledge, but not the power. Sure I know, um, plenty of spells, but… uh…”

“BUT NO PONY RECOGNIZES YOU FOR IT!” Starlight yelled.

Sunburst cringed. “Ow… my ears…”

“Oops!” Starlight let go of Sunburst’s head. “Sorry!” she said. “Look… it’s just… You know so much and you’re just so good!”

Sunburst frowned. “But… I’m not good at magic…”

Starlight shook her head vehemently. “Not what I meant! Sunburst, you deserve to be a wizard and it would be criminal of me to let you just sit in that small house while unrecognized!”

“Erm… ‘Criminal’? I think you might be overplaying the, uh, significance here just a bit…”

Starlight shrugged. “Well, sure it’s not taking over a town of ponies, stealing their cutie marks, or even trying to wreck the life of the Princess of Friendship and almost destroy Equestria in the process!”

Sunburst’s eyes went wide and he looked about him, hoping no pony had heard Starlight’s last sentence. Unfortunately for him, quite a number of onlookers had begun to take interest in the unusual street show Starlight was giving.

Unfortunately for them, Starlight had noticed them noticing her. “Yeah, that’s right!” Starlight said as she glared out at the ponies around her and pointed a forehoof out. “I used my magic for evil and did some bad stuff!” Starlight slowly moved her accusatory forehoof over the crowd. “And you know what?! I don’t regret it!”

Sunbrust cringed. “She doesn’t mean that!” he exclaimed. “She told me all about regretting doing that, uh, very impressive magical, but-still-bad, stuff that she did!”

“UGH!” Starlight grunted as she slapped a forehoof against her head. “Why is it so hard to think?!”

Sunburst shot Starlight a concerned look. “Uh… Starlight… I mean… I hope I didn’t talk out of turn or say anything you didn’t want ponies to hear…”

“No, it’s not that!” Starlight said. “I mean… Okay… I don’t like the fact that I did evil stuff and I’m trying to learn about friendship and be a better pony but… but… but…” Starlight looked at Sunburst, her eyes starting to get glassy and tear-filled. She took a few steps forward and stared deeply into Sunburst’s turquoise eyes.

Sunburst froze in place and stared back into Starlight’s amethyst eyes.

Starlight continued, “It’s just that… even though I did that bad stuff, at least I was finally able to see you again…”

Sunburst smiled slightly. “Oh, well… That’s a very nice sentime—”

Starlight suddenly lurched forward and wrapped her forelegs around Sunburst. “My best friend that I missed so mUuUuUuUuUuUch!” she wailed.

“Erm, um…” Sunburst lightly patted Starlight’s back. “There, there!”

“And you’re sooo smart! And sooo good! And nopony sees that and… and…” Starlight’s horn suddenly glowed light blue before she disappeared with a ‘pomff’. The pony holding him suddenly gone, Sunburst nearly fell forward onto his face. Starlight was suddenly by his side in an instant, wrapping a tight foreleg around his neck. She threw her free forehoof into the air. “That’s why… WIZARD!”

Sunburst grinned sheepishly and glanced about him. The crowd of ponies had only gotten thicker. “Starlight… I don’t think this is a great idea… I’ve had a bit to drink, you’ve had a lot to drink… and…”

“And we’re going to see Princess Heart-butt and DEMAND that she make you a wizard!”

Sunburst grimaced. “Well, um, I just don’t think now is the time…”

Starlight’s eyes widened and she removed her foreleg from around Starlight. “Oh… oh… you’re right…”

Starlight let out a sigh of relief. “Glad you’re starting to see reason…”

Starlight nodded her head up and down. “We shouldn’t just walk to the Crystal Castle and demand you be made a wizard.”

Sunburst chuckled. “Of course not! That would be, uh, kinda crazy! And might get us thrown in a dungeon!”

A slightly wild smile came over Starlight’s face. “The answer is TIME!”

“… Time?”

Starlight nodded. “TIME! We can go back in time and make it so you get made a wizard right out of magic school! I mean… That would really correct the you-not-being-a-wizard problem!”

“WHAT?! That’s, that’s… Do you really think we could use a spell to do that?”

Starlight nodded her head up and down excitedly.

Sunburst thought about this for a moment. “Traveling back in time would be amazing…” He frowned. “But, uh, didn’t you say there were horrible repercussions for you meddling with time?!”

“Hahaha! Oh YES! The WORST!” Starlight replied. “I mean… Equestria was a complete barren wasteland in one of the outcomes! And that was just one of the many possibilities…”

The ponies around Sunburst and Starlight gave them a collection of concerned and frightful looks which Sunburst caught. “Er… So, uh, considering that, maybe time travel isn’t such a great idea…”

Starlight pursed her lips into a frown. “But I’d be using my magic for good! I mean… maybe if I did that something amazing would happen like… like… the Crystal Empire streets might be pathed with rocky road ice cream!” Her eyes shot open wide. “Sunburst, I neeeeeed ice cream!”

“Um…” Sunburst trailed off slightly and blinked a few times. “Right now?”

Starlight nodded her head once, the bottom of her muzzle touching her neck. “Yes! Right now!” She declared. With a glow of her horn and a gasp from the crowd, many of the ponies found themselves pushed to the side as Starlight made a path for her and Sunburst.

Sunburst mouthed apologies as he followed Starlight out of the crowd. “Okay, well ice cream sounds like a better idea then uh… finding the princesses and demanding that one of them make me a—”

“And then, WIZARD!” Starlight added resolutely.

Sunburst let out a heavy sigh and shook his head as Starlight continued her merry stagger-trot through the Crystal Empire.

-ooo-

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEGLECTED YOU FOR SO LONG! I’M THE WORST MOTHER EVER! WHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAA!”

Twilight Sparkle sighed as she took her hoof off one of the kitchen’s black double doors. The door swung back and forth slightly before settling back into place.

“Sunset and Celestia still busy?” Spike ask as he walked through the crystal dining room and approached Twilight.

Twilight rolled her eyes, got up slightly on her back legs, and motioned to the double doors.

“BUT I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR YOUR HELP BUT INSTEAD I WAS A TOTAL BRAT AND IGNORED YOU AND TRIED TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA! I’M THE WORST DAUGHTER EVER! WHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAAHOUAAAA!”

Spike smiled slightly and shrugged. “Weeeellll, those two were overdue for a talk. I’m sure it won’t hurt to let them cry their feelings out a bit longer.”

A castle shaking ‘BOOM!’ sounded out followed by the mirthful giggle of the newborn from down the hall. This joyful outburst was then followed by a high pitched scream-cry.

Twilight narrowed her eyes slightly. “You were saying?”

“Heh heeeeh…” Spike stroked the back of his head fin. “Well, I’m sure they’re almost done,” he said nodding towards the kitchen.

Twilight sighed as she began to walk out of the dining room area, Spike following close behind. “Is it too much to ask that things start going a bit smoother?”

“Well, there’s just a lot going on today!” Spike countered. He began to list things off on his claws as he followed Twilight into a huge crystal hallway. “Sunset is meeting ponies she hadn’t talked to in years that she sort of had unfinished business with, Starlight is reuniting with her friend, Cadance and Shining Armor’s baby turned out to be an alicorn…”

“I’m aware of all that, thanks!” Twilight said with just a dash of sarcasm. She grimaced slightly as she finished her sentence. “This must be how Sunset feels…”

“You’re just upset because Cadance threw an alarm clock at your head.”

Twilight frowned deeply. “Well the Crystalling is soon and that happening certainly didn’t help to alleviate my stress levels…”

“But, hey! She has an alarm clock!” Spike replied. “I’m sure she’ll be up in time for the ceremony.”

Twilight inhaled and then exhaled slowly, putting on a small smile. “Okay, Spike… I’ll try to not to panic about this,” she said as her horn glowed purple and one of two massive double doors was pushed opened.

“FINE! MORE PANIC FOR ME!” Pinkie’s shrill voice answered. Pinkie still held on tightly to the baby who continued to fly seemingly unimpeded by the fully grown pink mare holding onto her.

Spike looked up at Pinkie in surprise. “Have you been holding on to the baby this entire time?!”

“Better under than in front!” Pinkie exclaimed.

‘PCHEEEW!’

“Ah!” Twilight narrowly put up a shield in front of her and Spike as the baby let loose another small blast from its horn.

“… Fair enough,” Spike said with wide eyes.

-ooo-

Sunset Shimmer trotted next to her mother down one of the Crystal Castle’s hallways, both sets of their eyes red and puffy but a happy smile adorning their faces regardless. The two walked in silence. Nothing more needed to be said… except for maybe the fact that Sunset still had obvious abandonment issues and would still regress to a filly-like state that made her emotions go crazy and that Celestia was perhaps a bit too ready to indulge that behavior and perhaps they needed to talk this over in a therapy session or a few dozen, nothing more needed to be said.

Sunset grinned sheepishly to herself. Well, that could wait a bit. At least we’re talking to each other and I have a mommy again! Sunset couldn’t help but grimace slightly as that last thought crossed her mind.

“Problem, my little shimmering sunlight?”

Sunset looked up at Celestia and gave her a reassuring smile. “No, mommy-MOM… it’s fine… I was uh… Just looking forward to seeing Cadance’s baby again!”

Celestia smiled and nodded. “She is quite the bundle of joy!”

“And limitless power!” Sunset added with a devilish grin.

Celestia chuckled lightly. “Yes… that too…”

“Sister? Perhaps it isn’t my place to say, but maybe you should have a talk with your daughter over her desire for destructive power in baby form.”

Sunset’s cheeks flushed crimson as Princess Luna’s words sounded out. Princess Luna walked down a massive cross-hallway, Cadance beside her. Sunset couldn’t help but give Cadance a scrutinizing look.

Celestia smiled at her sister. “But she’s bonding with her niece!” Celestia said. “Who am I to micromanage how that relationship works?”

The two groups of alicorns stopped as Sunset continued to stare at Cadance, who was grinning sheepishly and glancing at Celestia and Luna as if waiting for her turn to speak up.

“Her legal guardian?” Luna countered Celestia. Luna cocked an eyebrow and looked over her sister’s expression carefully. “Or are you nurturing this behavior in the hope it leads to grandchildren?”

Celestia glanced away with a slightly embarrassed look on her face. “Well… I do love foals…”

Sunset sent one more tentative look upwards at Celestia and Luna then turned to glower at Cadance. She took a deep breath. “Cadance, Dear cousin, Brand new mother, why the heck aren’t you in bed?!”

Cadance smiled at Sunset. “Don’t worry! I had a quick power nap so we could do the Crystalling and then I promise that Shining Armor and I will get some much needed rest.”

The group resumed their stroll through the Crystal Castle.

“You better!” Sunset said. “I’ll put you to sleep myself if I have to!” Sunset said, her horn glowing turquoise slightly. “And I’m not so great on sleep spells if you catch my drift.”

“Worry not, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said as she looked down with a smile. “I’ll make sure the new parents get plenty of restful sleep after this.”

“Sniff…sob…”

The progression of alicorns stopped and stared at Celestia as tears began to stream down her face.

“Mom?” Sunset said, her face the very picture of concern. “What’s wrong?! Did I…” Sunset swallowed. “Did I say something wrong?”

Celestia shook her head. “No… I’M JUST SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!” Celestia said as she launched right back into crying mode. “WHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAA!”

“Oh gosh mom! STOP!” Sunset said. “I can’t… I literally can’t do this right now! Not without drinking a ton of water to replenish my tear stocks!”

Luna chuckled and shook her head. “Alright you two, just a little longer and you can both cry all you want.”

“No, I’m serious,” Sunset said. “I’m starting to feel lightheaded at this point…”

Celestia clamped her mouth shut and sniffed hard. “No… It’s fine…” she said with a smile. “Just got a little emotional… I’ll be fine.”

Cadance giggled and shook her head and the group continued their walk, eventually passing through double doors that lead to the curtained-off area with the Crystal Heart. Standing nearby Shining Armor breathed heavily as Rarity floated a hairbrush through his mane and Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy looked on with concern. He turned as Cadance trotted down a set of steps and galloped up to her.

“Okay!” Shining Armor said with a smile. “I chose the honor guard, picked the purity crystal, and I know exactly who I want to be our crystaller. So, all we need is...” Shining trailed off and stroked his chin with the back a forehoof, his eyes glancing back as if he was searching his mind for the missing piece.

Cadance chagrined. “The baby?”

Shining’s eyes went wide as his pupils shrank to tiny dots.

“We’re HERE!”

Shining breathed a sigh of relief as Twilight shouted. Spike followed her close behind as did Pinkie still holding onto the flying baby as Twilight englobed them both in a shimmering purple shield. The baby burbled in delight as it flew around it’s small containment and Pinkie swayed from side to side.

“She’s a really strong flier!” Pinkie said. “And magic user… and she’s just strong in general… Oh gosh I soooo need a break!” she said, her manic smile returning as her head shifted 90 degrees, then 180, then 270 making a sickly ‘click!’ each time.

Twilight glanced at Celestia and then Sunset, giving the former a small smile.

Sunset suddenly remembered that she kinda, sorta, maybe should talk to Twilight as well. While the apologies for slights against Twilight owed really didn’t extend past the day, Sunset did have the nagging feeling that should show some remorse… And maybe get Twilight to talk about the parallels between Sunset and Starlight to understand just why Sunset was upset… Still, even with that conversation seemingly much easier than the previous ones Sunset had, there was still the possibility of tears and well… Sunset was all cried out to the point where another attempt might mean dying of dehydration.

Sunset glanced at the Crystal Heart which spun around and around suspended between two crystal points. Yeah… Let’s save that conversation for later… I mean, once the Crystalling is over and Shining Armor and Cadance finally get some rest, I’m sure we can bond over babysitting Equestria’s most lethal newborn. Sunset could help but smile to herself at that last thought.

Cadance smiled as her horn glowed a baby blue. The shield around Pinkie oscillated as Pinkie and the baby were split, the energy field around the baby changing to the same blue as Cadance’s magic. Surprised, the baby reached out for Pinkie as the pink mare was deposited safely next to Twilight. Her playmate now out of reach, tears began to stream from the baby’s eyes as she opened her mouth and let out a small cry, or rather an earsplitting cry that shook the castle and sent hooves up to their owner’s ears.

The Crystal Heart stopped spinning, vibrated a bit, then soon stopped being a thing entirely as cracks ran through it and it shattered into a pile of broken crystal pieces on the floor.

Everypony gasped in alarm.

“WANT!”

“Sunset!” Twilight said in a chastising tone.

“Sorry!”

The baby slowed its flapping and dropped into her mother’s outstretched hoof. Cadance, on the other hoof, continued to stare at the shattered remains of the crystal heart in bewilderment.

Applejack trotted up to the remains. “I'm guessin' that's gonna make it harder to do the Crystalling.”

“It’s worse than that,” Twilight said as she glanced behind a curtain then looked back at Applejack. “Without the Heart, the Crystal Empire's about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!” she said as the distant rumbling of bad weather moving in on the castle could be heard from outside.

With a somewhat sickly ‘click!’ Pinkie’s head finished its rotation and her entire body began shake as it let out a ringing sound much like an alarm clock. “Yep! There we go!” Pinkie said in a bubbly voice. “Now it’s time to die!”

Sunset grit her teeth together hard. “Okay, I know this is really bad, but I really need to go over there and hold that adorable baby!”

Chapter 13: The Uncrystalling

Chapter 13: The Uncrystalling

Starlight and Sunburst once again strolled down the crystal streets, Starlight wearing a notably more dejected look on her face this time around as Sunburst wore a bit more worried one. Heavy snow had begun to fall in the empire, though Starlight paid it no mind as she floated a napkin alongside her with a sour expression on her face.

“I can’t believe they kicked us out!” Starlight exclaimed, tossing the odd glare at the ponies who chose to stare at her as she half-stumbled down the crystal walkway. Though her antics seemed to attract a bit less attention than they had a while ago, the foul weather which poured in angry clouds and a rather alarming amount of snow kept many ponies’ gaze fixed up on the skies.

Sunburst shook his head. “I can’t believe you got cut off from eating ice cream, raisin rum or not…”

“Ugh!” Starlight uttered as she threw a forehoof into the air, stumbled, and then caught herself. “I was just trying to explain how you know so much about magic and that they should totally vote for you to become a wizard!”

“Yeah… Well, you don’t vote for wizards… I mean… I’m, um, pretty sure at least. I think they need to be appointed… I guess?”

“RIGHT! Hence… Petition!” Starlight floated up a napkin with a number of signatures scrawled on it.

Starlight frowned at the napkin heavily. “Well… I don’t think that’s going to cut it either…”

“Pffft! Obviously!” Starlight exclaimed. “We need more signatures…” Starlight looked around and smiled, taking notice that there were plenty of ponies right there on the street she could thrust the napkin in front of while enthusiastically pointing at Sunburst and exclaiming “Wizard!” which is exactly what she did.

A young pink crystal filly and her crystal mother both averted their eyes from the upset skies to look at Starlight in alarm, the pair taking a couple steps back as the mother put a forehoof in-between the filly and Starlight.

Sunburst cringed, rushed up to Starlight, and gently pulled her away from the pair. “Erm, maybe we’re going about this the wrong way,” he said with a nervous grin.

Starlight let out a heavy sigh as the mother and daughter beat a hasty retreat. “You’re right!” Starlight said. “This is taking forever and I only have the one napkin!” Starlight frowned and turned behind her. “I really should have grabbed more from the ice cream parlor.”

Sunburst swallowed. “Well, um, I don’t think just going up to random ponies and demanding they sign napkins or shouting ‘Wizard!’ at them without explanation is really going to work anyway…”

Starlight nodded. “Right! Right! Of course you’re right!”

Sunburst lowered his head slightly. “I’m not going to like what you say next, am I?”

Starlight suddenly stood up on her back legs and threw up her forehooves. “We should go back to our plan of finding the princesses and DEMANDING you be made a wiz-WHOA!” Starlight slipped on some snow, falling backwards as Sunburst lunged behind her. Starlight found her fall cushioned by a full-grown unicorn as she and Sunburst fell to the snowy ground below.

An “Oof!” escaped Sunburst as Starlight scrambled to her hooves and helped him back up.

“Sorry!” Starlight said as she used a forehoof to brush snow off of Sunburst’s orange coat. “Guess I got a little carried away there… Kind of a pattern with me...”

Sunburst smiled at Starlight sheepishly then looked up at the sky. “Well, maybe we have more pressing concerns than my, er, Wizardom…”

“What?!” Starlight exclaimed. “Buck no! Your wizard status is the most pressing of all the concerns, all of them!”

Sunburst looked down to stare at Starlight for a bit, then nodded his head upwards.

Starlight looked up. “Oh, hey... It’s snowing… Like… a lot…” She looked down at Sunburst. “Is that normal?”

Sunburst shook his head. “It has never snowed like this in town once since I moved here… The Crystal Heart is supposed to keep the harsh frozen tundra weather out of the Empire.”

Starlight frowned heavily. “This… this is serious isn’t it?”

Sunburst met Starlight’s heavy gaze with one of his own. “It would appear so, yes…”

“... Know any spells about weather control?”

Sunburst put on a ponderous expression. “Well, weather is usually the domain of pegasi, however there have beenseveral attempts by powerful magic users to control the weather, especially in communities where pegasi are quite scarce. Snowy Top is of particular note in that—”

Starlight’s face lit up. “GREAT! You can go to the princesses, use your knowledge of magic to save the day, and they’ll make you a wizard for sure!”

“I…” Sunburst shook his head. “I really don’t believe it’ll just be that easy…”

Starlight grit her teeth. “It better be or there will be TARTARUS to pay!” she shouted.

The ponies nearby all shifted their mixed attention from the sky and Starlight to just Starlight at the last comment.

Sunburst’s ears wilted slightly as he cast a nervous smile back at the onlookers.

Starlight’s cheeks flushed pink slightly as she gave a slightly embarrassed smile. “Whoops. Sorry! I’m still new to this ‘solving my problems without just taking what I want’ thing…’”

Sunburst’s entire body began to shake slightly as Starlight’s words only seemed to exacerbate the concerned looks aimed in her direction. “I don’t think that helped, Starlight,” he said softly.

“It’s fine!” Starlight insisted as she leaned over to Sunburst and lowered her voice slightly. “I totally have a handle on this situation!” Starlight cleared her throat and threw on a massive smile that she shared with the crystal ponies around her. “I mean… I will have a reasonable discourse with the princess where my friend here will save you all from this certain doom that appears to be encroaching on your empire and will freeze you all solid in a snowy tomb of death!”

The crystal ponies tossed up panicky looks towards the sky and began galloping off and screaming about the coming ‘death clouds’. They quickly scattered leaving Starlight and Sunburst alone on the street.

“See! All taken care of!” Starlight replied happily as Sunburst shifted his nervous expression towards her. “Now… onwards to the Crystal Castle!” Starlight exclaimed as she wrapped a foreleg around Sunburst and drew him close as she thrust her free forehoof into the air.

“Uhhh…”

“… The castle is behind me, isn’t it?” Starlight said in a slightly embarrassed tone despite the smile on her face.

“The giant building made out of crystal that’s visible from anywhere in the empire? Yes… yes that is behind you…”

Starlight quickly turned, pivoting Sunburst with her as they both turned to face down the street in the direction of the castle. “Onwards to the Crystal Castle and wizardom!”

Sunburst let out a pensive sigh. “We’re going to end up in a dungeon, I just know it…”

-ooo-

“Oh, who’s a little kingdom annihilator?!” Sunset said as she held the baby in one foreleg and wiggled her free forehoof in front of the baby’s face. She dropped her voice slightly and placed her face closer. “Who's a little kingdom annihilator?!”

The baby giggled and cooed as it batted at Sunset’s forehoof.

Meanwhile, Celestia looked on with an expression of pure motherly delight as she let out a soft “Awwwww….” and trotted up to the pair.

Twilight casted an unamused expression at Sunset as Luna casted a matching look at Celestia.

“It’s you!” Sunset said. “Yes you are! Yes you are!”

“Sunset!” Twilight snapped.

“Sister!” Luna said in a similar tone.

“Whaaaaaat?” both ponies replied in protest.

Twilight motioned over to the pile of crystal shards on the floor. “The Crystal Heart just shattered and that’s very, very bad!”

Luna nodded her head in agreement.

Celestia gave an embarrassed, apologetic expression.

Sunset rolled her eyes as she gently passed the baby back to Cadance. “Twilight, there’s five fully grown alicorns here in this very room and your brother is some sort of barrier-creating savant. I’m sure between all of us we can figure this out before something bad happens.”

A frigid breeze suddenly blew in past the curtain allowing a dusting of snow into the area causing Twilight to shiver.

Rainbow Dash peaked behind the curtain. “Hey everypony, guess what!”

“What?!” Pinkie interjected.

“Something bad happened!” Rainbow Dash answered as she pulled back enough of the curtain to show massive black clouds rolling in that where dumping snow all over the Crystal Empire.

“I knew it!” Pinkie exclaimed pumping a foreleg into the air.

“Okay, okay!” Sunset said. “So a storm is blowing in.” Sunset turned to Celestia expectantly. “I’m sure mom can fix this crystal up lickity-split!”

“Yay!” Pinkie interjected. “Those are my second favorite kinds of splits after banana!”

Celestia gave Sunset a nervous grin and then walked over to the shards of the Crystal Heart. She stared down at one and poked it a few times with the golden shoe around her horn. With a slight pinkish hue to her cheeks she looked up. “I have no idea…” She turned to Luna. “Luna?”

Luna trotted up and stared down at the crystal shards. “… Perhaps if we knew more about the magically bound material that makes the Crystal Heart…”

Twilight’s ears perked up. “Oh… Like a research assignment?”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “I know I low-played the danger here, but there’s a big snowstorm that’s apparently going to consume the entire empire soon, Twilight!”

“Okay, okay!” Twilight snapped back. “A quick research assignment!”

With a midnight blue glow of her horn, Luna picked up a shard. “Perhaps a more direct approach is in order…” She floated the crystal shard closer to Celestia. “Put it in your mouth.”

“What?!” Celestia exclaimed.

The other ponies present all let out similarly confused responses.

Luna shrugged. “Perhaps you can taste the enchantment on it?” she suggested.

One of Spike’s claws shot up. “I’ll put a shard in my mouth!”

“No!” Sunset and Twilight exclaimed simultaneously.

Spike let out a disappointed sigh.

Celestia narrowed her eyes at Luna. “I’m not putting a piece of crystal in my mouth! You put a piece of crystal in your mouth!”

Luna mirrored her older sister’s expression. “I asked you first!”

“Well I dare you to put a piece of the Crystal Heart in your mouth!”

“I double-dog dare you.”

“Oooohhh…” Applejack uttered. “A double-dog dare…”

“I know, right?” Rainbow Dash said as she watched the two princesses in interest.

Sunset sighed and shook her head before she looked at the other ponies in the room. “Okay, aside from putting pieces of rather sharp-looking pieces of crystal in our mouths, any other ideas?”

Rarity regarded the quarrelling monarchs and Crystal Heart shards with great concern. “So... not only can we not take part in a fabulous ancient ceremony, but we're also about to be frozen solid!”

Twilight chimed in. “Without the Crystal Heart's magical protection, the entire city's about to become a winter wasteland!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “I’m glad everypony here has such great, constructive ideas on how to fix this problem.”

Celestia and Luna stared at each other, their eyes narrowed as they both held a single piece of the Crystal Heart in a forehoof.

“Okay, on the count of three,” Celestia said. “One, two, three!” Both princesses put their own crystal shard into their mouth’s and initially pulled perplexed faces before wide smiles crossed their faces.

“Wow!” Celestia exclaimed.

“I know!” Luna said between shifting the crystal around her mouth with her tongue. “You can actually taste the love!”

Spike’s eyes lit up. “Okay, now I definitely want to—”

“NO!” Twilight and Sunset said forcefully.

“Awwww, man…” Spike uttered as he kicked at the ground.

Fluttershy looked at the princesses hopefully. “So, ermm, do you know how to fix the Crystal Heart?”

Luna glanced at Celestia. “Sister… Have ponies invented ‘love glue’ during the time I was in exile?”

Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well… not any type that would help us in this situation.”

“Ewww! Mom!” Sunset called out.

Celestia spit out her crystal shard into her hoof and then placed it on the ground with the others. “That was an interesting experience but didn’t help.”

Applejack piped up. “How come that big ol’ storm is coming in anyways? Ah mean, what about the time when King Sombra ruled the Crystal Empire and the Crystal Heart was missin'? The city wasn't covered in snow then!”

Rarity nodded her head in agreement.

“The Heart wasn't missing,” Twilight said. “It was still in the castle. King Sombra had just hidden it.”

“I'm afraid Twilight is correct,” Celestia said, “and the storm clouds are already forming.”

A bolt of lightning followed by thunder hammered Celestia’s point home as Fluttershy worriedly parted the drapes and looked outside as the dark clouds began to roll in on the empire.

Rainbow Dash flapped up in front of the open drapes. “I can totally fly up there and bust those puppies!” She said as she punched at the open air. “No problem!” She made a quick dive outside as the drapes were closed on her. Turning, she saw Celestia looking at her with a concerned expression as Sunset stared up in annoyance.

“I wouldn't advise it, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia said. “Those storm clouds are not like the ones you know.”

Luna chimed in as she placed her own slobber-covered piece of crystal on the ground. “This far north, the weather has a will of its own, and now it will only grow stronger, enveloping everything in its path.”

“Including the Crystal Empire!” Cadance exclaimed as she held the baby in a forehoof.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Well… obviously…”

Twilight trotted up to Cadance. “And us along with it!”

Pinkie quickly dashed up to Twilight and threw her forehooves around the purple mare, shaking as her teeth began chattering.

“Oooookaaaaaay…” Sunset uttered. “Well, if you’re all done being all ‘doom and gloom’ about the situation, I think it’s time we figure out a way to block those clouds while we sort out how to—”

“There’s no time, Sunset!” Celestia exclaimed.

“Uh… Okay… just… what?” Sunset replied. “I’m sure we can just take a few minutes to brainstorm—”

Celestia shook her head. “No, Sunset! My indecisiveness has cost me too much already! I won’t sit idly by and let this storm take the ponies I love!”

“Uh… That’s sweet,” Sunset said. “But I wasn’t saying we should sit around and do nothing, maybe somepony should figure out a barrier while—”

“Luna!” Celestia said heroically as she stood up straight, her expression resolute.

“Here, sister!” Luna said as she stood by Celestia with a matching expression.

“We must keep everypony safe! I don’t know how long we can hold out, but together we must face this storm and prevent it from hurting those we hold most dear!”

“Agreed, sister!” Luna said as she unfurled her wings. “We must take flight!”

“No, wait!” Sunset exclaimed as she rushed over to the two. “You two don’t need to—”

Celestia quickly turned, gently placing her forehoof under Sunset’s muzzle. “Sunset, if anything should happen to me…”

Sunset sighed. “Yes, mom?”

“… I want you to know I love you very much.”

“I know mom. I love you, too.”

Celestia nodded and smiled. She turned towards the drapes that separated the frigid outside from the ponies. “To the skies!”

Both Celestia and Luna quickly took flight, Celestia throwing open the drapes as both alicorns bolted outside and flew straight for the rumbling clouds in the distance.

Smiling, Sunset rolled her eyes. “… Idiot…” she said lovingly.

Rainbow Dash flew up next to Sunset. “… Did they just—?”

“Yep,” Sunset answered.

“After Celestia told me—?”

Sunset nodded. “Uh-huh.” Sunset turned towards Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor. “Well, even with Celestia and Luna out stupidly playing hero, I’m sure the rest of us can—”

With a delighted burble, the baby’s horn glowed yellow as she teleported into the air and took flight.

“AH! The BABY!” Shining Armor exclaimed.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yes, well… I’m sure the other ponies here can keep an eye on—”

“BABY!” Cadance exclaimed in a panicked tone as the infant alicorn began to fly around the enclosed area.

Sunset let out a heavy sigh of defeat as Cadance and Shining Armor circled around and around as they stared up at the flying baby.

Twilight trotted up towards Sunset. “Uh… Sunset…?” she said in an uncertain tone.

Sunset closed her eyes hard and turned to Twilight. “Yes, Twilight?”

Twilight gave Sunset a small smile. “Want to hit the library and try to research how to fix the Crystal Heart with me?”

Sunset inhaled through her nose, filling her lungs before letting the air out. “Yeah…” she said in an admitting tone. “I really do.”

Chapter 14: Adventures in Building Relocation

Chapter 14: Adventures in Building Relocation

Spike walked over to the curtains that separated the group and shattered Crystal Heart from the harsh elements outside and took a peek. “Maybe somepony should do something about these ponies before the ‘frozen solid’ problem Rarity mentioned sets in… literally.”

Twilight looked at Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. “I don’t know how long it will take to find the right spell, but you should probably tell the crowd outside to get somewhere warm.”

Sunset piped up, “And maybe not mention the shattered Crystal Heart issue for the time being… Weird weather is going to have everypony spooked enough as it is.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Applejack replied with a smile. She looked over at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “C’mon girls!” The three ponies quickly made their way out of the curtained-off area.

Twilight looked over the remaining ponies and dragon in the area. “Well, I suppose that leaves the rest of us to look for books. With the size of the crystal library, I’m going to need all the help I can ge—”

‘POP!’

With a yellow flash, the baby suddenly appeared on Pinkie’s face, giggling mirthfully as it held tight to Pinkie’s muzzle. Cadance and Shining Armor quickly dashed towards the baby and Pinkie, galloping at a frantic pace to keep up with the infant alicorn. Pinkie reacted to this new development as well as anypony could expect of her. She shrieked and flailed her forelegs wildly, immediately pulled off the baby, and tossed it away from her.

The other ponies and Spike all put on panicked expressions as the baby fell to the ground. Shining Armor dove and extended his hooves mere moments before the baby teleported again, its happy tittering echoing off the crystal walls.

Cadance had her ears in the air immediately. “This way!” she shouted as she ran inside the castle. Shining quickly got back up to his hooves and followed.

The other ponies and one dragon present watched as the couple departed then turned back to each other.

Spike peered at Pinkie carefully as the pink pony breathed in and out heavily in an attempt to catch her breath. “What is it with that baby and Pinkie’s face?” Spike asked.

“I know, right!” Sunset replied. “So jelly!” she declared.

Everypony in the room turned to look at her.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “You want Cadance and Shining Armor’s littler, erm, bundle of super-powered magical joy to grab ahold of your face?”

“Yes,” Sunset replied with a nod. “Yes I do.”

Pinkie tapped at her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I should put on a mask to stop this from happening.”

Sunset looked at Pinkie in confusion. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Uh… Because the baby is super-duper powerful in a rather terrifrightening way?” Pinkie offered.

Sunset nodded. “True, but how does that answer my question?”

Rarity beamed happily as she stepped up to Pinkie. “Well, if you want a mask I’ve brought plenty of fetching masquerade ball masks just in case.”

Sunset stared at Rarity and blinked a couple times. “You just up and decided to bring a bunch of masquerade masks in case… In case someone needed a mask or there was a surprise masquerade ball that went on?”

Rarity turned towards Sunset. “Yes,” she replied with a nod. “Yes I did.”

Sunset stared upwards for a moment. “I don’t know why that should surprise me… Really it’s my fault asking for clarification.”

Pinkie smiled wide. “Thanks Rarity, but I have my own masks!” Pinkie reached into her mane and quickly donned a hockey goalie’s mask. “What does everypony think of this? I mean, I’m sure the Crystal Empire has a Crystal Lake, tee-hee.” Pinkie suddenly swapped out the mask for one the seemed more like a light-brown muzzle, her own muzzle covered save for a narrow, barred slit for her mouth and a couple holes for her nostrils while everything above her muzzle was left exposed. “Or how about this one?! I’m sure the baby will keep off my face from a natural fear of being eaten with fava beans and a nice Chianti!”

Mostly everypony looked at Pinkie in confusion. Sunset stared at her with a look of deep concern. “I have so many questions at the moment…” she uttered.

“Oooo, oooo!” Pinkie swapped out her mask again for something resembling an ensemble hat that covered her head entirely. The mask piece covered her eyes with black lenses and a triangular piece jutted out around her muzzle. A slightly domed helmet covered her mane, going all the way down to her shoulders. “Perhaps this will keep the child away,” Pinkie said, her voice suddenly much deeper and accompanied by the sound of rhythmic and raspy heavy breathing. “Or maybe this is the perfect mask for teaching the child how to best unleash her power!”

Spike and all the ponies minus Sunset took a couple steps away from Pinkie. Sunset just shook her head. “I’m not sure how much good any of those masks are going to do if the baby’s first reaction is blast them and take your face off with it.”

Pinkie’s body tensed as she quickly removed the mask and helmet she was wearing. She grinned at Sunset sheepishly. “Point taken.”

Twilight let out a disgruntled sigh. “Can we all focus, please? If we don’t find a spell to fix the Crystal Heart soon, that storm is going to overrun the entire Crystal Empire.”

Sunset couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Yes, we all remember the past few minutes, Twilight…”

Twilight scowled at Sunset.

“Er… But you’re right…” Sunset turned towards the curtain. “We should get going to the library.”

Twilight nodded and began heading towards the castle entrance.

Sunset paused as she watched Twilight. “Uh… I thought the library was outside the castle? At least that’s what it sounded like from Twilight’s letter about when the Crystal Empire first reappeared.”

“It was!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she bounced past Sunset on all fours. “But now it’s not!”

“… Oh… uh… okay?” Sunset replied as she turned and followed Spike and the other ponies inside the castle. “Why is the library… which Twilight told me was massive by the way, now inside the castle?”

Pinkie paused long enough to stroke her chin. “I don’t know! Guess it was just more convenient to have the library inside the Crystal Castle this time around!”

Sunset sighed heavily. “Guess that’s the best answer I can expect…”

-~ooo~-

Sunset put on an unamused expression the baby flew in front of her face, the infant alicorn soon followed by Shining Armor who galloped as fast as he could to keep up with it.

“This isn’t convenient at all!” Sunset exclaimed as she tracked the pair with her eyes. Her turquoise peepers were soon headed the other direction as the baby flew by once more, this time with Pinkie bouncing after her.

“It’s not convenient for us, silly!” Pinkie said she pronked past Sunset. She wore a distressed face in contrast to her usual cheerfulness. “It’s convenient for those that want us to suffer for the sake of dramatic tension and others’ twisted amusement at our problems!”

“That answer was also weird,” Sunset said. “But somehow makes a fair amount of sense given how today has gone.” Sunset cast her eyes over the large, open space of the library. It was four stories of books on crystal shelves with staircases leading up and down with the crystal structures effectively mirrored down the center. A large skylight and several arched windows provided light into the massive book collection. She took a quick glance to the walkway across from her where Cadance flew up to one of a shelf several ponies high and looked over the books on it with a stressful expression and three books in a baby-blue glow floating next to her.

‘PHOOOOOM! PHOOOOOM! PHOOOOOM!’

Bright yellow lances of energy fired from the baby’s horn, destroying books, crystal walls, and anything they came into contact with.

Sunset stared at a few of the new ‘windows’ in the library. I really hope that got some of the people outside to seek cover. She sighed and shook her head. But part of me somehow feels they just think it’s fireworks and are still waiting out there… “The good news is there’s less books we need to check!” Sunset called out. “The bad news is we might have needed those!”

“I KNOW!”Twilight yelled back at Sunset. “Somepony keep that baby from destroying the books! A piece of me DIES every time that happens!”

“Look on the bright side, Twilight!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she bounded after the baby. “If it DOES destroy the book we need, then all of you will die!” Pinkie paused as if considering her own words. “Gee, that sounded a lot less depressing in my head.”

Sunset shook her head. “I feel that last line of yours might make a good epitaph for you.”

‘PHOOOM!’

Sunset grimaced. “Let’s hope you won’t need it soon.” Sunset looked up at the rows of books which towered above her even before the ceiling of the floor she was on blocked her view. The librarian who had let them in and galloped off screaming once the baby let off a few rounds from its magic horn was a female earth pony. How she managed to find or reshelf anything but the first two shelves of each level was anypony’s guess…

On the floor below Sunset, the baby continued to giggle and fly about chased by Shining Armor as Spike carried over a pile of books to a crystal desk occupied by Twilight Sparkle. Twilight had two piles of books on either side of her. She quickly looked over a book from the pile to her left and on by one read each title before depositing the books in the pile to her right. “Bridle Buck's Boat Chants, Hayhoof's Intonements, Mystic Maps and Mazes...” Twilight let out a frustrated groan and looked up. “Anything up there?”

“I found an interesting tome on adhesives!”Sunset shouted back.

“… Magic adhesives?” Twilight asked in a hopeful tone.

“… That depends on your feelings regarding peanuts!” Sunset replied.

Twilight sighed and shook her head.

Cadance continued to look through her own shelf. “I’m not even sure how these are organized!” Cadance exclaimed.

“It’s a library in your own house basically!” Sunset replied indignantly. “Maybe you should pay a little more attention to that?” she suggested. “Or hire an assistant to your earth pony librarian who can’t fly or use magic?”

Cadance turned and shot Sunset a dirty look. “I’ve been kind of busy ruling an empire and dealing with a baby, Sunset!” Cadance grimaced as she finished her sentence. “Sorry…” she said sheepishly.

Sunset just grinned in response. “Hey, you finally back-sassed me!” she said happily. “See, we’re getting along better already!”

Cadance couldn’t help but giggle.

“Still,” Sunset continued, “you’ve been princess or empress for a while now and, again, the library is in your big crystal house! I figure you’d at least step in to learn a little about how the books are ordered. I mean, why’d move the library inside if you were going to mostly ignore it?”

Cadance’s cheeks flushed slightly as turned back to the books she was looking through.

The baby suddenly flew by Sunset followed still by Shining Armor. “Cadance demanded the library be moved inside the castle during some weird pregnancy fugue state!” Shining informed hastily.

“Pffft… Oh, really?” Sunset said as she turned and grinned wryly at Cadance.

Holding a pile of books, Spike glanced upwards nervously as the baby flew overhead. He quickly placed his back against a bookshelf as Shining Armor followed. “Cadance had the entire four story library, including its architecture, moved inside the castle?!”

Pinkie bounced by Spike. “Four stories?! More like a million, amIright?!”

“I get it!” Spike declared as he brought over the stack of books.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes… the library has lots of books or stories.”

“OoooH!” Spike said as he placed the stack of books next to Twilight. “Now I get it.”

“Ugh!” Twilight exclaimed in frustration. “Rarity?!” She called out. “Anything?”

“I’ve got it!” Rarity called back.

The searching alicorns and Spike turned towards the voice in interest.

“Yes?” Twilight called out with smile. “You’ve found a spell that can repair the crystal heart?!”

“No!” Rarity replied. “I’ve finally found a book on Crystal Empire fashion!”

Those also looking through the books let out long, continuous groans.

“Sure it’s over a millennium old, but I bet these, admittedly simple, frocks will appeal to somepony!”

“Oooo! Oooo!” Pinkie’s excited voice called out. “I bet Maud would love one of those!”

Twilight’s right eye twitched in irritation as she looked towards the sources of the voices as if to call out.

“Hey!” Sunset exclaimed. “Baby duty or crystal heart fixing duty! Pick one! We can have a research fashion party after we’re not dead from the weather or magic baby blasts!”

Rarity let out a sigh. “Fine, fine…”

“Whoops! Sorry!” Pinkie said as she bolted out from an aisle and began chasing the baby once more.

Twilight smiled out up Sunset. “Thank you, Sunset.”

“No problem!” Sunset said with a smile. She looked over at Cadance. “Besides, I want to hear more about the entire library being moved!”

Cadance’s body tensed and she turned back towards the books.

Twilight grit her teeth. “Can’t that wait!?”

“No!” Sunset insisted. “If I die before hearing how this came about, I will certainly regret it and come back as a ghost to haunt the empire!”

Twilight let out a defeated sigh and went back to looking through the piles on her desk.

“It was during Cadance’s crazy food craving phase!” Shining called out as he weaved through aisles, following the flying/teleporting baby. “Cadance ate a pint of mint ice cream with a dill pickle topping then demanded the library be brought inside because—” Shining raised the pitch of his voice, doing his best to imitate Cadance’s voice –“‘knowledge is power and who knows what the crystal ponies will do with access to all those books!’”

Sunset’s face lit up, a mixture of joy with a touch of disbelief. She turned to Cadance as if looking for confirmation that what she just heard was accurate.

Cadence answered Sunset’s expression with embarrassed silence as she stared at the row of books in front of her.

Sunset suddenly erupted into laughter as she fell to the floor, her legs and wings sticking out in all direction. “Oh my gosh! It’s true! Ahahahahahaha! That’s the best thing I’ve heard in years!”

Cadance turned to glare at her husband. “Snitches get stitches, darling!”

“Sorry, dear!” Shining called back as he continued to chase the baby around the library.

“COULD EVERYPONY CONCENTRATE A BIT, PLEASE!” Twilight said. “IT’S STARTING TO GET COLD IN HERE!”

“Sorry, Twilight!” Cadance called out. She reached for another book. “I’ll keep—”

With a ‘pop!’ the baby suddenly appeared on the shelf Cadance was pursuing. Cadance reached out for the baby, but with a sneeze, the baby fired off yet another magical blast as it flew back into the shelves, sending books and bits of crystal everywhere before it reappeared on the lower floor and began flying around once again.

“Shining Armor!” Cadance called out as Shining once again gave chase. “I thought you were taking care of the baby!”

“I’m TRYING!” Shining replied as he chased the baby down an aisle.

Sunset got up to her hooves, snickered once, then cleared her throat. “The baby has blasted several holes in the castle and even shot itself into a solid crystal book shelf right before it teleported itself again and kept on its happy-infant reign of terror, Cadance… I think you can afford to cut your husband some slack.”

The baby suddenly teleported behind Shining Armor dove down a different aisle of books. It let out an excited “Woo! Woo! Woo!” before its mirth took a quick pause as Rarity jumped in front of it with a butterfly net.

“Gotcha!” Rarity declared holding the net in front of the baby before it teleported past the net and continued flying.

“Why do you have a net?!”Sunset shouted down as she leaned her head over the side of her level.

Rarity looked up a furrowed brow and a wrinkled nose. “Well, to catch the baby, clearly!”

“The baby can teleport and has wings that are bigger than your head! Plus, it can shoot magic and blast itself into crystal shelves without hurting itself! How was a net going to work!?”

Rarity’s cheeks turned red as Rarity puffed them out. “Well what do you propose I do then?!”

“See if you can figure out what happened to the parts of the castle that were here before the library!”

Rarity looked up at Sunset in confusion. “Wait… How is that going to help any of our predicaments?”

“It won’t!” Sunset shouted back. “But I’m really curious about it!”

Twilight let out a long, continuous groan of frustration and buried her head in her forelegs as Spike brought over another stack of books. “Just use those books to make a little coffin for me Spike… At least I’ll die surrounded by my loved ones…”

Spike’s brow tightened. “You mean your friends and family?”

“No,” Twilight replied simply.

“BEHOLD!” Starlight’s voice suddenly boomed out. “I’VE BROUGHT A WIZARD TO SOLVE THE WEATHER PROBLEM!”

Twilight looked up. “Somehow I am filled with equal parts joy and dread.”

Starlight stood in the open doorway of the library, a forehoof held high and a smile on her face as Sunburst cowered behind her. Starlight turned and looked at Sunburst. “That’s your cue!”

Sunburst covered his eyes with a foreleg. “I am uncomfortable about all the things right now…”

The baby suddenly flew by Starlight as Pinkie chased it. Starlight watched them go by before a yellow bolt of magic tore through the air followed by Shining Armor with a smoking horn as the baby chased him. Starlight then looked upwards to see Cadance scanning the shelves as she added several books to the piles by Twilight who tossed her the odd glance or two in between pouring through page after page. Starlight then watched as the baby and Pinkie ran downstairs, Pinkie’s hooves suddenly sliding on the crystal floor before she slammed ‘smack’ into a bookshelf. This was followed by the baby and Pinkie ran by once more before another yellow bolt of magic sent Starlight diving for the ground.

“Wait… What is going on!?” Starlight asked.

“Do you want the long or the short version?” Pinkie asked as the baby alicorn dragged her backwards as it gripped one of Pinkie’s back legs tightly.

“Short?” Starlight replied.

Pinkie rapid fired a response as the baby continued to drag her backwards down the crystal floor. “The baby accidentally destroyed the Crystal Heart, so Twilight and Cadance are looking for a spell to put it back together and save the Crystal Empire from turning into a giant wasteland of ice and snow.”

Sunburst uncovered his eyes. “None of what I am hearing or seeing is making me any less uncomfortable…”

“Oh…” Starlight replied. Her face lit up again. “It’s okay, though I brought someone who can help!” she said as she stood aside and motioned to Sunburst.

“Meep…” Sunburst uttered in a slightly distressed tone.

Shining Armor made a jump for the baby, but missed and collided with Pinkie leaving both adult ponies dazed and disoriented.

Starlight gasped as she looked over the two ponies on the floor, her eyes paying close attention to Pinkie’s oddly blank flank. “Gha! Wasn’t me! Wasn’t me!” Starlight cried in a panicked expression.

“Huh?” Pinkie replied. She traced Starlight’s eyes to where her cutie mark should be. “Whoops!” she said as she reached into her mane, pulled out what appeared to be her cutie mark, licked it, and slapped it where the missing mark once was.

Starlight furrowed her brow at the scene. “Okay, I’ve either drank too much or not nearly enough to put up with this…”

With a burst of turquoise light, Sunset suddenly teleported down and stood in front of Starlight and Sunburst. “Uh… Starlight?” Sunset said. “As happy as I am that you’ve apparently passed your friendship chore—”

“Hey!” Twilight protested.

“Oh,” Sunset said. “Twilight’s happy, too.”

“That’s not—grrrrrrrrrr!”

Sunset continued, “Just… What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m righting a wizard wrong!” Starlight declared as she pointed to Sunburst. “And that wizard wrong is that Sunburst here is not a wizard, and that’s just not right!”

“Okay… Wizards still not a thing anymore,” Sunset said.

Starlight grit her teeth and thrust her face right in front of Sunset. “Well, then a princess here better make it a thing!” she said in a vaguely threatening sounding tone.

Sunset took a couple steps back, narrowed her eyes slightly, and waved a forehoof in front of her muzzle. “Have you been drinking?”

“Only a little!” Starlight declared.

Sunset glanced past Starlight and raised an eyebrow at Sunburst.

Sunburst shook his head.

Sunset trained her gaze back on Starlight giving her an unamused look.

“Okay! How much I have or haven’t drank or how many ponies I screamed at and children I terrified on my way here isn’t important!”

Sunset looked past Starlight again with a slightly concerned look this time.

Sunburst grimaced. “It was a lot on all counts…”

Starlight turned, her gaze angry and her teeth grit. “Quiet! I’m trying to help you here!”

Sunset shook her head. “Still not exactly clear on what that help is supposed to entail…”

Cadance suddenly gasped as she looked over the books. With a baby blue glow she pulled out a black tome with golden inlays and a lock on the front. “What about this?” She asked as she floated down to Twilight and placed the book in front of her. “Trotter’s Tome of Reliquary?”

Twilight quickly turned the pages, scanning each one as a frown began to set on her face. She suddenly smiled widely. “I think this is it!” she said as she turned the open book to face Cadance.

“‘Spell of Relic Reconstitution’!” Cadance exclaimed as her wings unfurled in excitement. “I can't believe we found it!”

“It’s a good thing, too!” Twilight said as she floated the book back over to her. “Without this, I don’t know what we’d do!”

Sunset’s eyes shot open wide. “Sweet mother of mine!” Sunset broke into a mad gallop towards Twilight. “Twilight why did you say that?!”

“Wha—” Twilight began.

The baby suddenly popped next to Twilight knocking over the nearby books as Twilight floated the tome closer to her. This was followed by Pinkie bouncing onto the table before pressing off and landing on the baby. Pinkie smiled satisfactorily as she rose up, baby in her forelegs. The baby suddenly sneezed, firing off a blast of magic that flew out towards Rarity. Rarity raised a large handled mirror in front of her, grimacing and pulling her face back as the mirror redirected the blast upwards. The blast suddenly headed for Shining Armor who quickly put up a purple shield in front of him which redirected the blast again. Sunset could feel the heat of the magical energy as it barely missed her face and flew off behind her. Starlight closed her eyes and put up a barrier just in time to redirect the blast once more, this time directly towards the book in front of Twilight.

Sunset Shimmer dove in front of the book.

Chapter 15: Big Damn Alicorns

Chapter 15: Big Damn Alicorns

Sunset’s horn glowed turquoise and a bubble-like shield formed around her a mere instant before the baby’s magical blast would have certainly been a low point of the roller coaster of a day she was having. The blast flew up and added yet another hole to the castle as Sunset fell on top of the book she was saving as well as Twilight Sparkle. Everypony else in the room cringed as both alicorns fell to the floor with a solid ‘thud!’ Spike was quick to rush over to the desk, and peeked over the side.

“They’re okay!” Spike announced. “I mean… there’s a lot of wings and legs down here and they’re all tangled up with each other, but they’re all moving at least!”

“Ow!” Sunset exclaimed. “Twilight, would you please get your legs untangled from my, er, wing?!”

“I’ll do that when you get your other wing out of my face!” Twilight shot back.

“Sorry!” Sunset said in an exasperated tone, her wing covering Twilight’s face as one of Sunset’s cheeks was pressed up against Twilight’s. “The wings are new and I’m still getting used to carrying them around! I’m certainly not used to getting into tangled heaps with other ponies because I had to risk my life to save a book!” With some effort and a slight gritting of her teeth, Sunset lifted her wing off of Twilight’s face and turned to look Twilight in the eyes. “I mean, what’s wrong with you?! Why would you even tempt fate like that?!”

Twilight let out a frustrated grunt as she tugged on her wings. “Well I didn’t know fate was listening!”

Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight, fate is always listening and waiting for ponies to say something like that so it can make a bad situation worse at our expense!”

“See!” Sunset said as she pulled a front leg out of a tangle of Twilight’s legs and one of her wings. “Pinkie gets it… As worrisome as it is that she and I are on the same wavelength here.”

Pinkie rushed up to the desk and excitedly poked her head over the side. “Ooo! Maybe we magically mind-melded or something! Hey, how do you feel about melted marshmallows as a delicious type of adhesive?”

“I, uh, don’t?”

Pinkie whimpered slightly and backed away.

“… Okay, I feel better now,” Sunset said.

Twilight grimaced. “Well, I’d feel better if we were detached!”

“I’m working on it!” Sunset said through gritted teeth.

The two alicorns continued to struggle, their limbs and wings only slowly getting untangled from each other.

Shining Armor poked his head over the desk. “Maybe we should start evacuating just to be safe? It looks like it might take you two a while to get untangled there…” Shining glanced up. “Also it’s starting to snow in the library.”

Sunset shot Shining an indignant look. “Look, Sugar Flank—”

Shining raised an eyebrow as Twilight cringed.

“—This is not that big of deal!” She grunted as she attempted to pull her legs out of what a looked to be an orange and purple game of alicorn Twister gone wrong. “We’ll both get out of this mess and we’ll take a look at that spell and have that heart fixed in a jiffy!”

-o~Quite a few jiffys later~o-

“DAMNIT TWILIGHT!” Sunset roared from the alicorn heap that was now covered in a thin layer of white snow. “THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF YOU DIDN’T WEIGH SO MUCH!”

“THAT’S ALICORN WEIGHT!” Twilight retorted angrily. “IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU TOO IN A SHORT WHILE!”

“SURE! IF I GORGE MYSELF ON TREATS LIKE YOU! DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE YOU SNEAKING A WHOLE BOX OF COOKIES BEFORE WE GOT ON THE TRAIN!”

“AGAIN! ALICORN APPETITE! JUST WAIT FOR IT TO KICK IN!”

“OH, I’M CONCERNED ABOUT ‘WEIGHT’ ALRIGHT!”

Shining Armor peeked his head over the desk again. “Uh… girls?”

“WHAT?!”Sunset and Twilgiht snapped in unison.

“There’s, er, still the issue of Crystal Empire subjects freezing to death outside…”

“Ugh! FIIIIIiiiine!” Sunset said. “Start your stupid evacuation!”

Shining Armor quickly turned and hurried off outside.

Sunset turned to face Twilight, the two mares basically muzzle to muzzle and locking frustrated, irate eyes with each other. “Thanks Twilight! As if enough hasn’t happened to me, I’m now cold and wet! So seriously, thanks for that!” Sunset said sarcastically.

Twilight grit her teeth. “Hey! You’re the one who can’t seem to figure out a place to put your wings that doesn’t make this situation worse!”

“I already apologized for violating your ‘private zone!’ Besides, we wouldn’t even be in this mess if you hadn’t said that stupid thing that almost got the book baby blasted!”

“FINE! That’s my fault! But we’d have been free of each other minutes ago if you could figure out basic wing coordination! I know I struggled at first, but not to this degree! I doubt even the baby would have this much trouble!”

Sunset’s body shook with rage. “MOMMY LOVES ME BETTER THAN YOU!” she blurted out.

Twilight’s pupils shrank and a trepidatious expression marched onto her face. “She probably does…”

Sunset’s eyes flew open wide and she pursed her lips momentarily and looked away from Twilight. “Ah! This conversation isn’t going how I thought… Abort! Abort! Starlight! Help untangle us!”

Rarity poked her head over the side of the desk. “She’s unavailable, dear.”

Sunset and Twilight looked at each other in confusion.

“Well, what the heck is she doing?” Twilight asked.

“She’s drunkenly trying convince Princess Cadance to declare her friend a wizard.”

“Oh…” Sunset replied. “Uh… Is it working?”

Rarity turned and looked down a library aisle while a haggard-looking Cadance held the baby in a bubble and listened to Starlight. The bubble shook and vibrated as the baby flew about in it, firing off blasts and smashing at the sides with her hooves. Starlight spoke to Cadance with an excited, if slightly removed from reality, energy.

“And… and Sunburst has sooooo many books on magic! Like sooo many!”

“Uh-huuuuuh…” Cadance replied.

“No like… Like his entire house is full of books!”

“Right, sure…”

“No! Really! Just like… imagine a building… but full of books! I mean… Can you even comprehend that?!”

Cadance looked about the library she was currently standing in. “… Probably…”

“So many…” Starlight uttered.

Rarity turned back to Sunset and Starlight. “No,” she answered simply.

Sunset sighed.

“Well… where’s Sunburst?” Twilight asked.

“He made a book fort,” replied Rarity, “and now Spike is trying to coax him out of the book fort that Sunburst is hiding in while sobbing to himself.”

“Wow…” Twilight uttered.

“What?” Sunset said.

“Nothing just… nostalgia,” Twilight replied as her eyes went distant.

“Okay then…” Sunset uttered. “Well, Rarity could you…”

Rarity looked down at the tangled mess of limbs and gave it a critical eye. “I can probably help untangle you two, but it might take a while… Maybe if I had a little help… Pinkie…?”

Pinkie was next to Rarity in a flash. “Yes ‘um?”

Twilight and Sunset suddenly shared very worried glances.

“You wouldn’t to still have that stylish crowbar on you, would you?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie grinned wide, thrusted a forehoof into her mane, and pulled out a pink crowbar. “Of course! I always keep my trusty crowbar on me in case of prying or breaking into vending machine emergencies!”

“I am not comfortable with this solution!” Sunset said.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “How bad do you want to be unstuck from one another?”

Sunset went silent as she mulled over the question.

Her cheeks turning crimson, Twilight chimed in, “There’s several orange feathers that are lodged in a place that I would like to privately remove sooner rather than later…”

Sunset cringed. “And I keep saying ‘I’m sorry!’” With a defeated sigh she looked up at Rarity and Pinkie. “Fine! Just… just be careful!”

-o~ Some rubbing, tugging, and pulling later~o-

With a shift of Pinkie’s crowbar, a glow of Rarity’s magic, and a final ‘pop’ Sunset and Twilight finally found themselves uninhibited by each other’s limbs and wings. Both alicorns rose to their hooves and gave themselves a once over, Twilight doing a little bit of preening before folding her wings back up.

With a heavy inhale, Twilight turned towards Sunset. “Uh… Sunset look… I know we both said some things we probably regretted, but, erm, about today… and uh… I guess me letting Starlight become my student… I just want to say—”

Much to Twilight’s surprise Sunset shuffled over and gave her a side-hug, wrapping both a foreleg and one of her wings around her.

“Er…” Twilight uttered a bit taken aback by the surprise affection.

“What the heck happened to you, Twilight?” Sunset said in a somewhat wistful tone. “Your flank used to be beautiful.”

Twilight furrowed her brow and tried to look behind her. With a sigh she declared, “I need to visit the little filly’s room for a second, please try get things prepared here.”

Sunset let go of Twilight and nodded. “No problem.”

“Sunburst the Goateed!” Starlight shouted out. “I mean… We can workshop that, but… think about it….”

“… No problems beyond the ones we already had,” Sunset said.

With a small nod, Twilight’s horn glowed purple and she teleported out of sight with a ‘Pomf!’

Spike wandered over towards Sunset. “Uh… You know Twilight was probably trying to apologize about the whole ‘not making you her personal friendship student’ thing.”

“Oh, I know,” Sunset replied with a nod. “But I’m still dehydrated from my last cry session, so unless Twilight wants to watch me eat snow while I becoming a sobbing mess, I figured it was best to sidestep that conversation until after the empire is no longer in peril. How’s my rule 63 counterpart doing?”

“What?” Spike replied in confusion.

“Sunburst. How’s Sunburst doing?”

“Oh… He keeps crying and saying that this is worse than some sort of ‘jock-strap’ incident.”

Sunset eyes widened. “So HE’S Fire Crotch!”

“… What now?”

Sunset shook her head. “Just a little thing that happened back at Celestia’s school some time back… It’s not important except we now know that Sunburst is really good at digging holes.”

“… What… like… physically or metaphorically?”

“Yes,” Sunset replied. “The baby?”

“The thread and needle is not holding on the bubble shield!” Rarity cried out in a borderline panicked tone.

“I’m rubbing melted marshmallow over the cracks as fast as I can over here!” Pinkie’s frantic tone replied.

“You know who probably knows a lot of spells about babies?” Starlight asked. “Sunburst.”

Cadance let out a strained groan.

“Barely contained,” Spike answered.

“Right, just going to forego asking about Cadance and Starlight…” Sunset said as she picked up the spell book and flipped through it.

‘Pomf!’

Sunset glanced over to a purple flash as Twilight reappeared.

“Alright, I’m back,” Twilight said. “Are we all set?”

Sunset nodded. “I turned the book to the page we need!” She said turning the book to face Twilight. “Other than that we better fix this quick. Cadance’s shield is being held together by thread and marshmallow and her quickly fading desire to not watch her baby murder some pony.”

“Okay…” Twilight took a deep breath and trotted up next to Sunset looking over the book. She looked at Sunset. “You ready to do this?”

Sunset smiled. “Girl, I was using magic to harass stuffy nobles with summoned cockatrices before you even had a cutie mark.”

“Uh… Alright,” Twilight said. “I’m guessing that’s objectively true…” Twilight trotted over to the pile of crystal shards, Sunset followed. Taking position in front of the shards, Twilight’s horn began to blaze with purple energy as she unfurled her wings and her eyes suddenly burst with bright white energy. “Well, let’s get started.”

Sunset took a position opposite Twilight, the shards in between them. Her own horn glowed turquoise at first then blazed into a fiery orange that brought with it the faint scent of burnt ozone. Sunset’s own eyes filled with white energy as her wings extended to their full span. “Yeah, time to be big damn heroes again…”

The two alicorns leaned their heads down as beams of energy fired from their horns. Slowly, both mares raised their heads, bring up with them the crystal shards that drifted back together in the shape of a heart. Cracked as it may be, the Crystal Heart floated in place, glowing with a warm, purple glow.

Twilight smiled in relief. Sunset smiled proudly to herself.

“You see?” Sunset said. “Nothing to it! I mean of course you and I had this.” Sunset chuckled. “Could you imagine how boned we’d all be if us two couldn’t save the—”

The Crystal Heart suddenly came undone, returning to a pile of shards on the floor.

“… day…” Sunset finished weakly.

Twilight glared daggers at Sunset.

Sunset rubbed the back of her head. “Okay… that one was on me…” she said shyly.

Author's Note

Thanks to Nova Quill who's story All Work and No Play inspired a line.

Chapter 16: Just When You Thought You Were Out…

Chapter 16: Just When You Thought You Were Out…

With a dismayed look on her face, Twilight Sparkle stared down at the pile of crystal shards which sat sharp and lifeless on the floor. “Any ideas?” she asked her orange alicorn compatriot, who likewise had her eyes pointed downwards.

“I’m open to trying the legume adhesive idea if you are,” Sunset Shimmer replied.

Twilight furrowed her brow at Sunset. “You want to try to hold the crystal heart, the Crystal Empire’s most sacred magical artifact, together with ‘peanut glue’,” Twilight spat out.

“Not ‘want to’,” Sunset clarified. “I just said I was ‘open to the idea’.”

“I have an idea! A sunny, bursty idea!”

Twilight and Sunset stifled groans as Starlight trotted over, both alicorns doing their best to cheerfully receive the clearly inebriated mare.

“Hello, Starlight,” Twilight greeted.

“Heya, Starry,” Sunset said. “I see you’re… over here now.”

“Oh, I am so here, you two don’t even know!” Starlight said, her words full of confidence and also alcohol… mostly alcohol.

Twilight and Sunset’s ears wilted slightly.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll figure that out soon enough…” Sunset bemoaned.

“Sorry, girls,” Spike called out as he followed behind Starlight. “I kinda had to corral her away from Cadance so she could keep her shield up around the baby.”

Starlight pursed her lips into a sour expression. “Yeah! I was trying to talk to her about Sunburst and she started crying about how she was going to freeze to death with her baby and being a really big whiner in general.”

Twilight and Sunset exchanged concerned glances.

Starlight continued. “I mean, come on! Life isn’t fair! Pfffft…” She said as threw her eyes up in no direction in particular. She began to speak in a high-pitched, mock, whiney tone, “‘Oh, the temperature is dropping and who knows how many ponies might die in the storm and how am I going to keep the baby and myself alive with all this snow coming inside?!’ It’s like… We all have problems, you know?” she said with a look at Sunset and Twilight as if she was expecting confirmation of her last statement.

Sunset swallowed and nodded. “Yes, but in this case, that’s kind of all our problem.”

Twilight glanced at Sunset. “Maybe one of us should try to make Cadance feel better?”

“On it~!” Pinkie’s voice sang out.

“I’m knitting the warmest baby-cozy I can!” Rarity added.

“Okay, well that’s at least one distraction down,” Sunset said.

Twilight looked up at the large clumps of snow that had begun to invade the library. “Maybe I can put up a barrier to keep the storm out.”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Gee, that sure is a great idea that I had back when the shield master was still here!”

Twilight met Sunset’s dirty look with a filthy glower of her own. “You were the one who green-lit him going out and evacuating everypony!”

“I was preoccupied getting unstuck from you!” Sunset fired back. “Also your brother was being a little whiner about it!”

Twilight seemed to mull this over slightly. “Yes, that’s fair. Look, I’ll put up the barrier and…” As discreetly as possible, Twilight wrapped a forearm around Sunset’s neck and telekinetically pulled over Spike who let out a surprised yelp as he was suddenly pulled into an impromptu huddle. “… And you and Spike can try to see if… er… Nightshine Twinkle can help.”

“… Okay, I’m going to assume you don’t mean ‘me or you’ there since we’re having this conversation, but—” Sunset put on a big smile that simultaneously tried to convey that Sunset was ‘willing’ but hardly ‘raring’ “—are you sure you don’t want to help with Dusky Glisten?”

“You and Spike seem to have quite the rapport with her.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “With you all being part of the big ‘no parents’ club and all.”

Sunset and Spike’s eyes shot open wide as they both pulled out of the huddle.

“Twilight,” Spike cried out, “I can’t believe you just said that…” His eyes began to fill with tears.

Sunset glared at Twilight and wrapped a comforting wing around Spike. “Yeah, me either. Sorry you’re jealous about us not growing up with parents, princess,” Sunset spat out. “But that was pretty low.”

“Wait… what happened?” Starlight asked in confusion.

Sunset threw a forehoof in the air. “Twilight’s apparently feeling left out on account of all the parents who know and love her!”

Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “That was uncalled for. I know it’s no excuse, but today’s been pretty stressful in general culminating in our possible imminent death and I lashed out where I sho—”

“I can fix the no ‘no parents’ thing, pretty easily,” Starlight said.

Everypony went stone-cold silent as they turned to stare at Starlight.

“… Starlight,” Sunset said in a somewhat disbelieving tone, “did you just offer to kill Twilight’s parents?”

“Well… no…” Starlight said.

“Good, because—”

“I mean, if we’re going to immediately take death off the table. I could just transport them to another dimension that we couldn’t get them out of for a while…”

One of Spike’s claws shot up. “I vote we abort this conversation.”

“Agreed!” Twilight and Sunset said in unison.

Twilight looked upwards as the snow continued to pile in. “Barrier!” she said, glancing at Sunset momentarily before looking back upwards. Her horn began to shine with amethyst energy and a globe-like shield extended upwards.

“Right!” Sunset said.

“Starlight?” Spike said as he looked at Sunset and pointed a claw over his shoulder at the wobbly unicorn.

Sunset sighed and turned to Starlight. “Right…” she said unenthusiastically.

“Sunburst!” Starlight said with a wide smile.

“Uh, maybe?” Sunset offered.

“Come on, Sunset!” Starlight implored. “He’s got wizardness coming out of his wazoo!”

“I don’t think I have any method of verifying that…” Sunset said. “Nor would I want to!”

“Seriously! You have no idea just what a whiz of a wiz Sunburst is!”

Sunset looked over at the lonely-looking book fort with the odd sad sob that would occasionally come out from it. “I’m afraid I’m still not entirely sure I can be convinced Sunburst is a whiz of a wiz if ever a whiz of a wiz there was.”

Starlight began to sniffle and look at Sunset with big, pleading amethyst eyes. “But… but… WIZARD!”

Sunset let out a heavy groan. “You’re impossible to talk to like this.”

“Well, why don’t you try to sober her up?” Spike suggested.

Sunset frowned slightly at Spike. “Clock’s running a bit fast for a pot of black coffee there, Spike.”

“Sure but… How about you use magic?”

“Oh!” Sunset said. “Uh…” She looked around the library. “Well, I don’t know a spell for that offhand… er… offhoof and we need to find a spell to fix the Crystal Heart…”

“Maybe Sunburst knows a spell that could help with Starlight!”

“YES!” Starlight exclaimed as she wrapped her forelegs around Spike and picked him up into a tight hug.

“… You think?” Sunset said.

“Ooff…” Spike uttered as Starlight released her grip and he fell to the ground. He picked himself back up. “Well, Sunburst and her were drinking and Sunburst did seem to know an awful lot of spells…”

Sunset looked over at the book fort. “Hey, Sunburst! Do you know a spell that can sober up a pony?”

There was a pause. “… No,” Sunburst answered flatly.

Starlight whimpered as Spike and Sunset hung their heads.

“Well, it was worth a shot,” Sunset said.

“There’s like… several DOZEN spells that do that!” Sunburst clarified. “Those old unicorn wizards REALLY liked their wine… Which ones did you want to know more about?!”

“Yes!” Starlight cried out victoriously.

Sunset smiled as she trotted over to the fort. “Spike, I’m not sure how we get anything done without you.”

Spike grinned to himself and shrugged. “Eh, it’s kinda my super power.”

Sunset trotted up to the book fort. “Alright, book-forty… I need something that’ll sober up Starlight quick and leave her coherent enough that she can help us and we can hopefully not all die of exposure.”

“Tipsy Tip’s Tome of Thirst Quenching Thaumatology should have what you’re looking for… It’s, er, part of the foundation…”

“… The foundation of what? Magic spells to get blasted drunk?”

“Well, uh, yes! Though, I meant it’s literally part of the foundation of this book fort, excuse the pun.”

“Awww…” Sunset uttered disappointedly as she began scanning the bottommost plane of books. “Mom would have loved that pun… Found it.”

“Okay, just make sure you find something to repla—Ah!” The book fort suddenly collapsed in on itself as Sunset took up the book with a turquoise glow. “Ow…” Sunburst uttered from the center of the book pile.

“Sunset, what the heck?!” Starlight exclaimed.

“We’re in a hurry!” Sunset said as she floated the book up in front of her and started magically going through the pages. “Spike, could you dig Sunburst out?”

Spike strolled past Sunset saluting as he did. “On it. Digging ponies out of piles of collapsed book structures is also a super power of mine!”

Sunset smirked and glanced at Twilight. “Oh, really…” she purred.

“Hehehe… Yeah,” Spike said as began pulling books from the pile and neatly stacking them. “You see Twilight—”

“Less embarrassing me, more SAVING everypony!” Twilight called out in a slightly haggard tone. “With the storm I can’t hold this barrier up forever, or even all that long, really!”

Sunset aimed her smirk at Spike. “Tell me later, alright.”

“Done and done!” Spike said as he pulled out another book.

Sunset flipped through a few more pages and looked down at the book floating in front of her. “Hey, Starlight?”

“Yes?”

“Taste sobriety!” Sunset exclaimed as she fired off a pulsating turquoise beam from her horn.

“Ghuh!” Starlight cried as the beam hit her. Starlight’s entire body shone briefly with Sunset’s magical energy before it quickly abated. Starlight shook her head as her eyes started to noticeably focus better than they had been moments before. “Whoa… What a rush…”

Sunset cocked her head slightly. “You done with the rampant drunkenness there, Starry?”

“Yeah, sorry… My head was a bit foggy there… It’s cleared up quite a bit.”

Sunset nodded. “Good, because we could really use your—”

Starlight gave Sunset a very serious look. “Go get Sunburst to help you, right now, or I’ll blow this whole empire off the map… And I don’t just mean the map in Twilight's castle, either.”

“Whoa. What the heck?!” Spike exclaimed as a couple of orange legs with white fetlocks poked out from the book pile.

“—help!” Sunset called out to Twilight.

“I’m just trying to keep the storm out and us all alive!” Twilight said. “You better at least try what she’s suggesting!”

“Pretty sure it was less a suggestion and more an ultimatum, Twilight!”

Starlight lowered her eyes slightly as her horn began burn with a sky blue aura. “I can’t help but noticed you haven’t asked for Sunburst’s help since I threatened to blow up this empire made out of brittle crystal a few seconds ago.” The intensity of her horns glow increased as a dangerous sounding ‘hum’ resonated from it. “Seriously, one sonic-vibration spell and everything goes!”

“But… but…” Sunset scowled at Starlight. “Do you realize that means the whole castle would come down on top of us? You and Sunburst included?”

“Are you suggesting I haven’t thought this all the way through? You should know by now that won’t stop me.”

Sunset pondered this for a moment. “Good point… But uh… How about you help us fix this crystal and then we can talk about Sunburst’s possibly great wizard skills?”

“Sorry Sunset,” Starlight replied, “but breaking things is more my speed.”

“Huh… I can respect that.”

Starlight lowered her head slightly while maintaining eye contact with Sunset, the brightness of her horn and the volume of the humming increased. “Tick-tock, by the way.”

“Alright, already!” Sunset replied, her wings suddenly thrown up in the air in exasperation. Sunset turned and looked at her wings. “Wow! I didn’t… I didn’t even try to do that!”

“Uh… Sunset?” Spike said as he walked up.

“Right, sorry,” Sunset said as she focused her attention on the book fort. “I forgot how scatterbrained ponies can be, and it seems that doesn’t go away just because one spends a few years as a human.” Sunset turned and glowered at Starlight. “You know, for the record, you could have asked nicely or even pathetically and I probably would have asked Sunburst for help.”

The light from Starlight’s horn faded. “Oh well…” She put on a pair of sad eyes. “Sunset Sh-shimmer? My dear, dear, friend… Sunburst’s talents have been languishing unused and unappreciated for so long, and I thought that maybe, just maybe—”

“Ugh! Forget it, you already threatened us all with slightly more imminent death!” Sunset turned. “Sunburst! We need your help!”

“I’m, uh, right here behind Spike,” Sunburst said.

“Right, sorry,” Sunset said. “Didn’t realize Spike was so good at digging ponies out of book piles.”

Spike chuckled. “I told you. Lots of practice moving stories and lots of stories to share regarding that topic.”

Twilight let out an irritated grunt. “Tick-tock, tick-tock, everypony!”

“Right!” Sunset exclaimed. She floated over the book she and Twilight were using earlier. “Twilight and I tried this, but—”

“The spell of Relic Reconstitution,” Sunburst finished. “No, that won't do it.” He said, shaking his head. “The Crystal Heart's been around for millennia. Restoring a relic like this is way beyond one spell. You need to combine it with something else. Something unique to the relic itself. Something that strengthens it and provides it with power...?” he said, trailing off expectantly.

“Like a fruity-tooty breakfast smoothie!” Pinkie chirped happily.

Sunset shot the pink pony a smoldering glare. “That doesn’t make any sense, Pinkie!”

“I know,” Pinkie replied, “but I’ve only gotten one line this chapter. Speaking of speaking, say something, Rarity!”

“Ummmm… I err… Uh…..”

“Good job, Rarity!” Pinkie bubbled. “Cadance?”

“I would really appreciate it if my home wasn’t full of snow and also that we all don’t die if it’s not too much trouble!”

“Working on it!” Sunset called back. She turned towards Sunburst. “So we need to perform the Crystalling?”

Sunburst nodded. “We’re also going to need another spell book.”

Sunset looked around at the library with its shelves upon shelves of books. “Alright, well, do you know—?”

“Oh, it wouldn’t be here,” Sunburst said.

Sunset cocked her head at Sunburst. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Oh!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. “Maybe he knows every single book that’s in the library,” she suggested.

“What? No,” Sunburst answered. “It’s not here because I’m the pony who checked it out.”

“Oh…” Twilight replied sheepishly.

“Yaaaaaaay!” Starlight exclaimed. “Sunburst is going to save everypony!”

Sunset glanced at Starlight then frowned as she looked up at one of the many holes in the library as snow whipped at Twilight’s amethyst-tinted shield. “If you checked out the book, that means…”

Sunburst nodded. “I need to retrieve the book,” he said. “From my house.”

“Which is outside,” Sunset sighed.

“Yay?” Starlight said.

Spike chimed in, “Don’t we need to get a bunch more ponies for the Crystalling, too? I mean… guessing we at least need Shining Armor.”

“… Yay…” Starlight murmured somewhat insincerely.

“Alright,” Sunset said resolutely, “guess we need to figure out a new plan and get the Crystal Heart shards back to the Heart’s pedestal.”

“Why’d you all take them into the library, anyway?” Starlight asked.

Sunset wrinkled her muzzle in annoyance, “Because I pointed out leaving the small, light shards unattended in a ‘room’ only separated from the elements by a bunch of curtains was probably not a great idea.”

“I, um, fair point…”

Floating the shards and the book behind her, Sunset began to trot towards the library’s entrance. “Alright, everypony let’s move out!” she shouted.

Almost everypony converged on Sunset, Cadance’s marshmallow and stitched together shield around the baby failing right before Sunset threw up a barrier of her own around the baby, floated it towards her, and began making faces at the baby who giggled and cooed in delight in response.

“Uh, Sunset?” Spike said. “We’re missing a pony…”

Sunset looked around at the group that was making their exit and did note the absence of one pony. “Twilight?!” she called into the library. “We need to leave. We’ve got everything from the library that’s going to be of any use!”

“Buuuut, buuut…. Booooooooks!” Twilight wailed.

“It’s you or the books, Twilight!” Sunset called back.

“…”

“Twilight?!”

“I’m thinking!”

Chapter 17: …They Pull You Back In

Chapter 17: …They Pull You Back In

Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle trudged through the snow-covered crystal streets as sleet and snow pelted a turquoise shield held in place by Sunset. The two craned their heads upwards as they tried to peer through the thick, shifting mass of icy precipitation.

Twilight shifted her head one way or the other as she scanned the sky. “Hopefully they’re still up there. Keep your eyes open for energy beams keeping the storm away.”

“Oh, is that what we’re looking for?” Sunset replied sarcastically. “I was keeping an eye out for a couple of flying morons.”

Twilight frowned slightly. “That’s a bit mean to say about your mom and Princess Luna.”

Sunset just shook her head. “My mom is going to get herself killed trying to fight the storm like this.” Sunset looked down at Twilight and smiled. “Belittling her decision like this keeps the soul-crushing anxiety of having to give her eulogy at bay!”

“A-alright… Well, what about Princess Luna?”

Sunset looked back up at the sky. “Who’s more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows her?”

“Huh… Some sort of earth wisdom?” Twilight suggested.

“Well… I guess you can say it came from a wise man… Wait… I see them. Good thing too, I don’t think my shield will last much longer out here.” The turquoise barrier that separated Twilight and Sunset from the elements began to flicker, almost as in response.

Twilight looked up to see beams of energy fired off against angry-looking dark clouds that belched icy precipitation and fired off lightning. “Okay, now to get their attention. Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! We need your help!”

Both Twilight and Sunset looked up expectantly only to witness Celestia and Luna continue to do battle with the weather.

“Yeah, unless they’re signaling us with their blasts against the clouds that keep coming, I’m guessing they didn’t hear you,” Sunset remarked.

“One of us will have to fly up,” Twilight cried.

“Fly up into that crazy-cold storm?” Sunset scoffed. “You’d have to be as crazy as them to do something that insane.”

“Well, we’ve got to try something,” Twilight emphasized.

Sunset placed a forehoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I can get Celestia’s attention,” Sunset said.

“Oh!” Twilight said, her spirits seeming to rise slightly. “You know a spell that will help?”

“Not exactly…” Sunset replied. She stared up at her mother as Celestia fired off another beam of canary-yellow energy. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!”

Twilight looked at Sunset in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no way—”

“Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy!”

Celestia suddenly turned downwards, barely restrained irritation on her face as she forced a smile. “Oh, what is it, Sunset darling?”

“… Seriously?” Twilight sighed.

“We need you to come down here!” Sunset shouted up.

Celestia’s head twitched slightly as behind her Luna did her best to keep the black clouds at bay. “Sorry, my little shimmering sunlight, but mommy and her sister are busy saving everypony!”Celestia hissed out.

“Yeah, but you’re sucking at it!”

Celestia snarled in response as Princess Luna cocked her head and looked down at Sunset.

“Just come down here, alright?!” Sunset called. “We have a plan that actually has a chance of working!”

“I’M NOT UP HERE FREEZING MY FLANK OFF BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE HAD A CHANCE OF ACTUALLY MAKING THE STORM GO AWAY!” Celestia raged. “I’M TRYING TO KEEP IT AT BAY SO YOU TWO CAN FIX THE CRYSTAL HEART!”

Twilight looked back and forth between the quarreling alicorns as a trepidatious expression drifted onto her face. Similarly, Luna looked back and forth between the pair as her brow began to crinkle in irritation.

“THAT’S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!” Sunset shouted back irritably. “SO STOP WASTING EVERYPONY’S TIME UP THERE AND GET YOUR FROZEN FLANK DOWN HERE SO WE CAN GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!”

“WASTING TIME?!” Celestia frothed. “LUNA AND I HAVE BEEN UP HERE TRYING TO—”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Oh, blah, blah, blah...” she said bobbing her head back and forth. “Just shut up and—”

“EXCUUUUUSE ME?! YOU MIGHT NOT BE A FILLY ANYMORE, BUT I CAN STILL GIVE YOUR SUN-ADORNED FLANK A GOOD SWA—”

“BOTH OF YOU CEASE THIS PRATTLING AT ONCE!” Luna bellowed in an unworldly volume that shook the entire city. “I WILL NOT FLY HERE, GROWING COLDER AND COLDER AS A FAMILY SQUABBLE DESTROYS ONE OF THE LARGEST EMPIRES IN EQUESTRIA! NOW BOTH OF YOU BEHAVE OR I WILL VISIT SOMETHING UTTERLY HORRID INTO YOUR NIGHTMARES!”

Celestia and Sunset were utterly shaken from their argument and looked up at Luna with befuddled, terrified expressions.

“Yes, sister…” Celestia said sheepishly as she descended.

“Yes, ma’am!” Sunset exclaimed.

Celestia and Luna joined Sunset and Twilight on the ground as Sunset extended her barrier around the new arrivals. The pair stretched their wings as best they could, both cringing as small sheets of ice cracked and fell from their wings to the icy ground below.

Celestia was first to speak. “Given you two are out here in the freezing cold, I’m guessing you haven’t yet figured out how to fix the crystal heart.”

Sunset grunted in annoyance as her shield flickered again against the weather.

Twilight glanced at Sunset then looked back at Celestia. “Sunburst has a plan to fix the Crystal Heart.”

“Who is this Sunburst you speak of?” Luna inquired.

“He’s a former student of Mom’s school,” Sunset answered, “and an old friend of my and Twilight’s friendship student.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at Sunset but said nothing.

Before another word could be uttered, a resounding explosion rocked the area as a column of electric blue energy tore through a nearby city street.

Celestia and Luna looked over with bewildered expressions as Sunset and Twilight simply furrowed their brows in irritation.

“What was that?!” Celestia cried.

Luna piped up, “Perhaps one of our enemies seeks to take advantage of this chaos!”

Sunset sighed heavily, “No, that was most likely Twilight’s student deciding she didn’t want to deal with the snow on the street.”

“Oh, I get it!” Twilight snapped. “When she blows something up she’s my student!”

“Hey! She’s my student in that I managed to drag her passively resisting body over to Sunburst’s and get her to actually talk with him!” Sunset protested. “But it was your idea to take her as a student initially. Maybe you should have started with the basics, like not using dangerous energy blasts to clean snow!” Sunset cringed slightly as the glow on her horn abated slightly. With some focus, she forced the turquoise glow of her horn to return to a bright glow.

Luna frowned as she looked over towards the street that was blasted. “There’s a lot of steam… or maybe even smoke coming from over there…”

Twilight was having none of Sunset’s backtalk. “If you want to share credit for Starlight’s friendship progress, then you need to share responsibility for her actions as well.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “She didn’t swear vengeance and nearly destroy Equestria several times over because of anything I did!”

Twilight grit her teeth. “But I fixed that! Furthermore, it was me who—”

This time it was Celestia’s turn to lose patience. “Enough! Both of you! If we had the time, I’d have you two retreat to somewhere warm to talk out this issue or at least send you to your rooms to cool down.”

“Sorry, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said sheepishly.

Sunset had a far more fiery response in mind. She narrowed her eyes at Celestia. “You gave my old room to Twilight!” she hissed.

“I gave your old tower quarters to Twilight,” Celestia countered. “Your old room in the castle has been kept exactly as you left it.”

Sunset put on a thoughtful look. “Oh… That’s kind of touching actually… and also really sad.”

Luna continued to look out at the rising vapors from a few streets away. “Do you think anypony needs our help?”

“Well, I don’t hear any screaming,” Sunset said. “So either no pony was there or they’re all dead.”

“Sunset!” Twilight snapped.

“Hey, I’m not saying Starlight necessarily killed anypony. The storm could have killed them before she disintegrated everything in her path.”

Celestia and Luna gave both Twilight and Sunset scrutinizing looks.

“Not helping,” Twilight hissed out through gritted teeth.

“Hey, Spike is with them,” Sunset pointed out. “I’m sure he’ll keep Starlight from doing anything too drastic.”

-~ooo~-

“You shouldn’t fire off energy blasts down entire streets to deal with the weather, Starlight,” Spike said as a waved a claw at Starlight as if she was a naughty puppy.

Sunburst lagged behind the other two, his eyes wide as they soaked in the demonstration of wanton destruction he had just witnessed.

“But it’s cold, and we all kept on slipping on the icy crystal streets!” Starlight shot back. She smiled as steam wafted up from below her. “Now the street is nice and toasty.”

“Okay, but you could have hurt or killed somepony!” Spike emphasized.

“I looked down the street before firing off my blast!” Starlight countered.

“There’s like a meter of visibility right now!” Spike replied.

“Well, I would have blasted the sky, but I think Princess Celestia and Luna have been trying that for like an hour or something…” Starlight mused. She shook her head. “They really should have looked up a spell to vent the atmosphere into space.”

Spike raised an eyebrow as the trio continued its journey to their destination. “Don’t we need that to breathe… amongst other things?”

Starlight waved a hoof about. “Details, Spike. We all feel better now and that’s what’s important?”

Spike frowned as he looked about them. “Okay, what about this fire that’s somehow consuming the crystal houses?”

“The storm will take care of that,” Starlight said. “Probably…”

Sunburst trotted up to Spike and Starlight. “Could we speed this along?” he asked with an anxious grin. “I’d like to, erm, make sure my house isn’t melted or on fire.”

“We’re moving, we’re moving! Let me take care of all this snow that’s accumulated since my last magic blast,” Starlight said as her horn began to glow a bright electric blue once more.

Sunburst let out a nervous “Ehhhehhhehehehe…” as Spike placed a claw on Starlight’s back.

“Can’t you just put up a shield or something?” Spike suggested.

Starlight frowned. “I already said I was more a destroyer than a creator!”

“But you put up tons of barriers when you fought Twilight!” Spike replied.

Starlight let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine!” she groaned as a bubble of electric blue energy englobed everypony. “Guess I’ll just solve problems the boring way, without blowing anything up!” she griped.

“Yes, please,” Sunburst said.

Starlight let out a groan of frustration as she continued to trot forward with a sour expression on her face. “You could stand to be less of a whiner about this, you know.”

“You almost blew up an entire street!” Sunburst fired back.

“Hey! Almost only counts in horseshoes and manaclysmic explosions that destroy everything for miles and miles,” Starlight replied.

Sunburst looked over at Spike who just gave him a shrug. “Sorry dude, you are kinda being a whiner.”

“Wha.. Er… Really?!” Sunburst said in disbelief. “You really think that after that huge blast?!”

“Hey, I live with her,” Spike said. “Her and one other crazy magic user…” Spike rubbed his chin with a thumb and foreclaw. “Though, I might be a bit desensitized to stuff like this…”

~-ooo-~

“Well what is this plan?” Luna enquired. “As long as my sister and I can go inside, I suppose it will be an improvement.”

Sunset and Twilight flinched slightly.

“Yeah… about that…” Sunset began.

Celestia sighed. “I did miss you, Sunset, but I did not miss the ‘you’re not going to like what I have to say’ tone…”

Twilight spoke up, “We need to round up the evacuating ponies to actually go forward with the Crystalling, so we need you two to go back out there and lead ponies back to the castle.”

Celestia frowned heavily at Twilight then turned towards Sunset. “Okay, but before I go I want you to know something.”

Luna and Twilight looked at Celestia expectantly.

“Mom, this isn’t the time to get all mushy on—“

“You’re my worst daughter,” Celestia interrupted.

Luna and Twilight’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

Sunset just smiled back. “But I am your daughter, right?”

Celestia lowered her head and nuzzled Sunset, affection that Sunset quickly returned. “Always,” Celestia said as Twilight favored the moment with a small smile.

Luna spoke up, “Wouldn’t Sunset also be your best daughter, being your only daughter, sister?”

Celestia turned and shushed her sister. “Shhhh… Don’t say such things in front of her, otherwise her ego will spiral completely out of control.”

Sunset couldn’t help but snerk.

Luna turned towards Sunset. “I dare say it’s far too late for that,” she deadpanned.

“Hah!” Twilight squawked mirthfully.

Sunset’s eyes widened slightly as she looked at Luna. “Oh, I like you.” She motioned towards the sky. “Now go on! We need every flier out there rounding up ponies!”

Celestia and Luna paused as devious smiles slowly crept onto their faces. “Fliers you say?” Celestia said.

“Yes! That’s why… Why are you two looking at us like…” Sunset trailed off and craned her neck behind her to look at her own wings. “Oh, buck me,” she uttered as her shield finally gave way and snow and sleet began to pour over the ponies.

“Language, young mare,” Celestia chastised.

“Gosh dang it, Sunset!” Twilight replied as she squinted and used a wing to block the onslaught of freezing snow.

“Give me a break!” Sunset said as she two shielded her face with a wing. “I’m not used to having wings!”

“So… what? You were just trying to throw me to the timber-wolves?”

“Uh…”

With a deep inhale, Luna looked up, her horn glowing a radiant midnight blue as she place a shield over the ponies present.

Celestia looked over at Twilight, “Language, my faithful student.”

Twilight frowned. “But I didn’t swear!”

Celestia nodded. “Yes. You could stand to sprinkle in a few more expletives, ‘Gosh dang it’ just sounds ridiculous.” Celestia shook her head. “Nopony will take you seriously hearing you talk like that.”

Luna nodded. “I do find the rare, but appropriately used sentence enhancer can have quite the effect on a statement.” Lune tossed her gaze upwards. “On that note, I suppose it’s time we all took to the f#@%ing sky.”

Sunset and Twilight’s eyes widened slightly before they looked up into the unforgiving sky. “Okay, fine,” Sunset said with a begrudging smile as she unfurled her wings. “We’ll go help you round up everypony like one big dysfunctional family.”

Celestia’s eyes lit up and she let out a giddy, “Eeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“I thought you'd like that,” Sunset said with a smirk.

Her eyes still pointed upwards, Twilight spoke up, “With all of us helping, it shouldn’t be that bad.”

Sunset let out a groan. “Damnit, Twilight…”

~-o-Soon-o-~

“I WAS WRONG!” Twilight exclaimed as the arctic winds hurled sheets of snow into her face. “IT IS THAT BAD AND ALSO WORSE!”

“What did I say?!” Sunset exclaimed. “I told you to stop tempting fate and after you did it once! I even bucked-up myself and invited disaster on us, but nOoOoOoOoOoO! You just had to say something stupid, didn’t you?!”

“Alright, already!” Twilight said as she looked downward. “Stop yelling at me! You’ve done plenty of that already!”

“Well screaming at the storm isn’t helping!” Sunset pointed out.

“Neither is screaming at me!” Twilight screamed.

“AT LEAST IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!”

“STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!” Celestia bellowed from in front of the quarrelling mares. “DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!”

Sunset sighed. “Yes, mom…”

“Right, sorry…” Twilight said.

“Wait!” Luna exclaimed from the front of the group as she ceased flying and peered downwards. “I see them.”

The other three alicorns followed suit and then all four descended towards dozens of galloping ponies led by Applejack and Shining Armor.

“This way!” Shining Armor shouted as he pointed down a very wide, and very, very long crystal street.

A yellow-coated crystal earth pony mare with a translucent red mane began to slip on the ice covered ground and crashed chin-first into a snowbank. Warm smile on her face, Fluttershy quickly rushed over and helped the mare back to her hooves where they both joined the panicky mass that was following Shining Armor and Applejack.

As the dark clouds crept ever closer to the group, Rainbow Dash zipped through the sky and busted what she could despite the increasingly thick layers of ice that had coated her wings and legs. With a strained grunt she lowered herself to the ground and began galloping next to Shining Armor.

“Just a little bit further, y’all!” Applejack called out. “The station’s just ahead!”

“You really think a TRAIN is going to be running in all this?!” Sunset exclaimed as she touched ground in front of the group with the other alicorns.

“Twily!” Shining cried excitedly as the ponies around and behind him grounded to a halt. “Please tell me you’ve figured something out!”

“YES, but…” A huge clump of snow suddenly blew into Twilight’s face with a rather rough ‘pomff!’ “Ack!” Twilight did her best to shake the snow off her face as she brushed it with her wings. “As I was saying… AHH!” Twilight quickly fired off a blast from her horn which destroyed a large chunk of ice that was attempting to have a fast and intimate encounter with her muzzle.

“Oh, holy mother of me!” exclaimed Sunset. “Shining Armor, just put a shield up around everypony already!”

“Oh… Right!” Shining said as his horn lit up with a magenta glow. A beam of energy fired straight up from his horn then arced off in all directions until it formed a shield around all the ponies present.

“We have a plan,” Sunset said. “But first…” She stared at Applejack. “No seriously… ‘train station’ was your big idea?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Well, we had ta try something! It’s not like I thought we could outrun the storm.”

Rainbow Dash glowered at Applejack. “Hey! My plan would have worked if you were all as fast as me… And also pegasi.”

Applejack grit her teeth. “Racist!”

Fluttershy trotted up to the group. “I’m a pegasus, and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t fly through all that.”

“See!” Applejack exclaimed. “Even Fluttershy thinks your plan is dumber than a chicken that got its head stuck in the fence.”

“Ooooh!” Twilight uttered in an exasperated tone. “We don’t have time for—”

Sunset placed a wingtip over Twilight’s lips. “Shhh…. It’s kinda nice watching some other ponies argue for a change today.”

Twilight ceased talking and simply looked over at Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

“Well at least I’ve been fighting the storm for you all!” Rainbow Dash shot back. “I mean, I’ve been busting this storm as best I can, but it just keeps on rolling in.”

“Does it ever…” Celestia sighed.

Luna nodded in agreement.

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Shining Armor and I have been leading the group to possible safety!”

Shining Armor nodded his head up and down.

“And I’ve been helping ponies up when they fall!” Fluttershy quipped.

Everyone paused then stared at Fluttershy.

“… Good for you?” Sunset replied.

Fluttershy lowered her head slightly as her ears wilted. “It’s… erm… all I can do right now…”

“Uh… I guess that’s fair…” Sunset replied.

Shining Armor looked at his Sister. “So what’s the plan Twilight? I mean, you’ve got to have a plan, right? You always have a plan.”

“Well, it’s not her plan,” Sunset interjected. “But there is a plan,” she emphasized.

Twilight nodded. “We have to perform the Crystalling!”

Shining Armor cringed and looked behind him. Beyond the thrashing and biting winds of ice he could only barely make out the castle.

“That’s the plan?!” Rainbow Dash cried. “You want us to go back through the murder storm?!”

“Sure!” Sunset replied happily. “The Crystalling should restore the Crystal Heart and then the storm will go away!”

Applejack motioned to all the everything going on beyond Shining Armor’s shield. “Ah don’t think that’s the problem!” she said as a pony-sized boulder of ice slammed into Shining Armor's Shield.

Shining Armor grunted and winced, dropping a foreleg down to his knee as he strained to maintain his shield.

“It’s fine!” Sunset insisted, if in a somewhat worried tone. She looked at Shining. “You’ve got this right?”

Shining Armor paused and gave Sunset a very serious look. “I have many things. A smoking hot alicorn wife who’s the Princess of Love. A newborn baby that can accidently destroy buildings with a sneeze. An empire made out of crystal… This… is not one of them.”

“Oh…” Sunset uttered. She looked up at Celestia expectantly. “Mom?”

Celestia frowned heavily. “I could possibly bring the sun close enough to burn away the storm.”

Twilight and Luna both raised their eyebrows.

Sunset smiled widely. “Great plan! Love it!”

Celestia continued, “But the ensuing heat would likely kill most everypony as the very air around us catches fire.”

“Horrible plan!” Sunset cried. “Hate it!”

“Well then what do we do?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

Applejack inhaled then exhaled. “I suppose there’s nothing more we can do then start heading back, hope for the best, and pray…”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “Right, except you could just talk to the pony you’d pray to… You know… the one with the fiery death plan?”

“Well… jus’ the first two things then, I reckon…”

-~ooo~-

“Come OoOoOoOoOoOn!” Starlight whined impatiently as Starburst hunted through his collection of books and scrolls. “We need to get back so you can save the day and be made an Ultra High Super Wizard!”

“Uh, Starlight?” Spike said. “I don’t think that’s actually a thing.”

Starlight smiled at Spike. “Of course not… yet…” she said with a wry grin. “When Sunburst gets all the spells we need, I’m sure Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor will be so impressed that they’ll make him that on the spot!” Her grin suddenly turned demonic. “Or I’ll force them to… With violence! Muhahahahahahahahaha!”

Spike sighed heavily. “Yeah… I’m thinking maybe Twilight needs to start at the beginning with you in regards to friendship… You know… Like a friendship One-On-One where you learn the basics like… Not threatening ponies to get what you want.”

Starlight grit her teeth. “I’m working on it, alright?!” she hissed out.

“Okay!” Sunburst exclaimed as he trotted over to the pair with a couple of brown saddle bags over his dark blue cloak with light blue stars and trim. “I’ve got all the spells we need.”

“Great!” Starlight exclaimed. “Now let’s get back to the castle and save the day already! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Spike shook his head and made his way to the door. “We need to work on your laugh too…”

“What’s wrong with the way I laugh?!”

Spike placed his hand on the doorknob. “It, uh… It’s pretty much the laugh of an insane megalomaniac?”

“Gimme a break, Spike!” Starlight exclaimed. “I’ve spent most my life as an insane megalomaniac! This is all brand new to me…”

“I guess that’s fair...” Spike said as he opened the door and was met with a blast of snow and wind that sent him sprawling head over feet into a bookcase. “Ooof…” The wind whipped about the small home and sent scrolls flying in all directions.

Starlight peered through the open door as Sunburst did his bit to grab the scrolls flitting about with his hooves and magic. “Hey!” Starlight shouted. “The fires are out! See! I knew the storm would take care of them!”

Sunburst seemed to forget all about the scrolls for a moment. “Oh… That’s bad…” he uttered as his face turned a shade of orange almost light enough to match the marking down his muzzle. “Very bad indeed.”

“Bad?!” Starlight exclaimed. She bobbed her head in and began to talk in a mocking tone, “Don’t set fire to the entire Empire, Starlight! Oh, it’s bad that the fires you started to keep us warm went out, Starlight!” She glared at Sunburst. “Make up your mind!”

Sunburst sighed. “It’s bad because that means the storm is so strong that it can blow out magic fire. If we don’t repair the Crystal Heart soon, there’s not going to be an empire left to save… let alone anypony in it.”

Spike picked himself up and walked over to the two ponies. “Okay… So… What do we do?”

Sunburst looked over his shelves full of books and scrolls as well as the modest collection he had grabbed. “I… I… I’m not sure… Without a major focusing artifact like the Crystal Heart, I don’t think there’s any spell we can do…”

Starlight frowned and then smiled. “What if you had a small piece of it? Like… enough for us three to get to the castle?”

“Uh… Maybe?” Sunburst said. “I mean… We don’t have the baby or any way to really do the ceremony… but… We don’t have a piece… Do we?”

Starlight looked over at Spike with a knowing grin. “Oh, I think we do…”

“… Why are you looking at me like that?”

Starlight trotted over to Spike and nudged him with an elbow. “Come on, Spike! I saw the way you were looking at the Crystal Heart shards! I mean… I won’t tell if you won’t tell that you snuck one out…”

“Yeah… because I didn’t!” Spike said as the wind blew in more snow followed by a few chunks of ice that crashed into Sunburst’s shelves. Sunburst whimpered as the storm took its toll on the insides of his home.

Starlight’s smile dropped. “Uh… Really? Not even just a tiny bit to try later? Or er… maybe you snuck a bite and there are pieces inside of you we can enchant?”

Spike threw his claws up in the air. “IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN’T CONTROL MY URGES WHEN IT COMES TO MAGICAL ARTIFACTS VITAL TO THE DAILY OPERATION OF AN ENTIRE KINGDOM! BUT, HEY, IF I KNEW MY CURIOSITY FOR EATING ALL THINGS CRYSTAL WOULD HAVE SAVED THE DAY, I WOULD HAVE SNAGGED TWO CLAWFULS OF THE SHATTERED HEART! ONE TO STICK IN MY STRANGE BUILT-IN POCKETS AND THE OTHER TO SHOVEL INTO MY FACE WHEN I THOUGHT NOPONY WAS LOOKING!”

“Alright, sorry, geez!” Starlight exclaimed. Starlight and Spike looked at Sunburst expectantly.

As sweat began to pour over Sunburst’s face his eyes darted nervously over the shelves of books and scrolls that covered the walls of his house. “I… I… Well… um… erm…” Sunburst clenched his eyes hard. “I don’t know…” he muttered in defeat. He hung his head. “It’s… it’s hopeless…”

Spike stuck his claws in his teeth as they began to chatter rapidly.

Starlight lowered her head, casting a dark shadow over her eyes. “No… it’s not…”

“But what are we going to do?!” Sunburst said. “Without a spell to even get us back to the castle—”

“We don’t need a spell!” Starlight insisted as she kept her face pointed downwards.

Spike slowly moved his claws out of his mouth and looked at Starlight.

“… No spell? But how…”

“Because we have something better!” Starlight insisted.

Spike swallowed. “Frrrrrriiiiiieeeeeeeennnndship?” he suggested.

“No,” Starlight said. She looked up with amethyst eyes full of determination. “ME!” she declared. Lowering her head slightly and crinkling her brow, Starlight began to march into the storm as it howled and wiped at her, pelting her with all manner of ice and snow. Soon she was outside and staring upwards into the maelstrom of shifting, thundering clouds that seemed to be erupting with wave upon wave of ice.

“ALRIGHT, S#!T STORM!” Starlight screamed. “I DIDN’T TRY TO BEND EQUESTRIA TO MY VISION AND NEARLY DESTROY IT ACCIDENTLY WITH TIME MAGIC JUST SO MY FRIENDS AND I COULD DIE ATTENDING SOME GLORIFIED BABY SHOWER! I GOT DRAGGED HERE TO RECONNECT WITH MY OLD FRIEND, AND I’M NOT GOING TO LET SOMETHING RIDICULOUS LIKE BAD WEATHER WRECK ALL THAT! I AM STARLIGHT GLIMMER AND I MAKE WORLDSCONFORM TO MY WHIMS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! WORLDS!” Starlight’s horn began to crackle with electric blue energy as she stared up daringly into the raging skies above. “YOU WANT ME?!” she howled as her horn began to grow brighter and brighter as energy arced off it and seared the surrounding ice-covered crystal streets and houses.

“THEN COME AND GET ME!”

A massive column of electric blue magic fired straight up into the sky, cackling just as angrily as the storm that raged high above the ice coated Crystal Empire. The clouds roiled with energy around the massive beam, but the magical pillar burned all the brighter and fired off cascading discharges in all directions until it was impossible to tell the difference between the thundering lightning of the storm and the wrath-filled plasma arcs that tore through everything in their path.

Starlight Glimmer clenched her eyelids into a rage-filled scowl, stared skyward, and screamed at the heavens.

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!”

Starlight Glimmer

Vs.

Murder Storm

Chapter 18: Starlight Vs. Murder Storm

Chapter 18: Starlight Vs. Murder Storm

As bad as walking the opposite way the wind was blowing was, walking with it was easily several times worse. This had a lot to do with what the wind was blowing as well as the speed. The storm was sending in painfully large hail balls that occasionally battered ice sheets and icicles, which ranged in size from small dagger to ‘spear-tip on the end of a stick wielded by a giant’, on the nearby houses such that they would break free and fly towards the massive group of ponies. Ponies all traveling deeper into the heart of danger. This also meant the wind was now blowing with more than enough force that it could pick up the lighter ponies and slam them into any number of ice-covered structures or simply off into the maelstrom where they’d likely never be seen again.

It was what many might call a ‘bad time’.

This forced those with a good handle on magic to constantly alternate between keeping up magical shields to make sure the group wasn’t blown away or bombarded from behind and above by ice that could easily injure, maim, or possibly kill, as well as firing off blasts of magic to deal with the much larger threats or similarly use telekinesis to redirect such threats away from the group. Meanwhile, more able-bodied ponies such as the other Element Bearers that were on hoof, the guard ponies, and those who simply decided they should be doing something ran about the group helping ponies up when they fell and generally tried to keep things moving.

It was slow going, and getting slower as the winds and dangers only seemed to worsen the closer the ponies got to their goal.

Sunset Shimmer glanced behind her. “The castle is still unfairly far away, in case anyone was hoping we were nearly done!” She shouted at the other three alicorns and one unicorn stallion who were walking backward with her at the back end of the massive pony procession. She punctuated this sentence with a turquoise blast of magic that tore through a sheet of ice, shattering it into small chunks which then battered a big plum-colored shield in front of the group.

“Saying that is not really helpful, Sunset!” Twilight shouted back as she suddenly took a pane of ice that was tumbling in the wind in her magenta glow of telekinesis, using it as a shield against several icicles and other assorted chunks of ice until it has been reduced to nothing but tiny sparkling particles in the wind.

Sunset grit her teeth and fired off another blast. “Sorry, but keeping myself very angry at the situation is keeping me focused!” Sunset turned slightly. “Mom? How are you holding up?”

“That depends!” Celestia shouted as she moved a canary yellow shield about above her. “Are my wings still attached to me?”

Sunset craned her neck slightly. “They look frozen solid, but yeah… still attached!”

“Then I could be worse!” Celestia answered. “I certainly could be better, but I think I’ll manage!”

Sunset nodded and tilted her head slightly. “Aunt Luna? How are—”

Sunset was interrupted as Luna began to fire off blast after blast of midnight blue energy at incoming projectiles. “Hahaha! You think this will stop me?!” Luna bellowed. “Do your worst, vile apparition of frost and wind! You cannot destroy me, for I am the NIGHT!”

Sunset wasn’t sure how to respond to that so she just settled for an “Uhh…”

“She could be better too!”Celestia informed.

Sunset pursed her lips into a tight frown as she faced forward let out another blast that was accompanied by the sound of more ice breaking to pieces. “How are you holding up, o’ Shield Master?”

Shining Armor’s horn glowed a vibrant plum as a large, if somewhat dull similarly-colored shield projected from his tip, up over the other magic users and even over near the entirety of the ponies making their way to the castle. “When this is over, I’m crawling into bed with my wife and just staying there for days!”he announced.

Sunset, Twilight, and Celestia couldn’t help but chortle a bit while Luna was still off in her own world, destroying large pieces of ice that caught her vision.

“Fair enough!” Sunset replied. “I’m sure we can figure out babysitting for a bit after all th-LOOK OUT!”

A massive icicle near the ground level suddenly broke off a few houses down from the group and began sliding down the icy-smooth street directly towards Shining Armor. Sunset powered up her horn and fired off a blast, but not in time to prevent any harm from being done. The jagged point of the ice pierced Shining’s barrier a mere meter in front of him. As the large ice shard broke into smaller, but no less deadly-looking pieces from the impact, Sunset’s blast tore through them, destroying the brunt of the pieces. Yet several still slammed into the stalwart stallion and sliced into his legs and body before he fell to the ground. His sister rushed forward to put up a barrier around her and Shining Armor to prevent further harm from happening to him.

This was immediately followed by cries of alarm and pain from the other trekking ponies as chunks of hail and freezing sleet immediately beset the group. Celestia quickly extended her shield to cover as many of the ponies as possible. Similarly, Luna shook herself from her own stupor and immediately put up a barrier to cover what was left.

As he laid belly-down on the frozen street with his sister standing over him protectively, patches of Shining Armor’s white fur began to turn red as blood began to blotch out from some of the jagged cuts he had received.

“Shiny!” Twilight called out in alarm as she wrapped her forelegs around her injured brother and nuzzled him desperately. “It’s alright! I got you! We’ll… We’ll get you home!”

Sunset Shimmer clenched down on her teeth hard and silently cursed her own slowness.

“We must keep moving!” Luna exclaimed. “I-I—” Luna swallowed “—I cannot hold this for much longer!”

Celestia inhaled sharply and closed her eyes as a pained expression wracked her features. “Be-be strong, little sister! We must hold out for everypony’s sake!”

“Shiny?!” Twilight cried. “What are you doing?!”

Sunset watched in awe as Shining Armor slowly rose back to his hooves, leaving behind small dribbles of blood on the ground as he did. He began to speak in a strained, if determined tone, “I’ve got to… got to protect everypony… Cadance… the baby… you… everypony!” His horn began to glow a brilliant plum once more.

“Are you crazy?!” Twilight shrieked. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep this up!”

“Wha-Whatever it takes…” Shining Armor uttered as a shield once more began to extend from his horn.

Sunset Shimmer felt her heart catch in her chest as she watched Twilight plead with her brother to stop using magic. A stallion who would clearly do anything to protect those he cared about and a mare who had already fought so hard to protect everything and everypony she loved and was once again staring that possible loss right in the face, pleading and begging while she still used magic to fight off the deadly projectiles that threatened to end everything in a moment of pain and violence.

Sunset looked at her adoptive mother, who stood tall against the forces of nature even though it was clear she was feeling great mental and physical strain. Sunset had just today reconciled with Celestia after years of silence, and despite the years of inaction and weakness Celestia had displayed earlier today, at least now she fought with everything she had.

Sunset shifted her glance to her aunt. A pony she had just met but was looking forward to getting to know better. A pony that was haggard with ice and effort yet was still doing everything in her power to keep her family and subjects safe.

Finally, Sunset looked over the ponies they were trying to usher to the castle, a few ponies that were pretty much copies of her friends back home, guards bravely persevering despite deplorably bad conditions, and a ton of ponies, both crystal and otherwise, doing all they could to keep themselves and their loved ones together in the face of near unfathomable hardship.

Sunset looked over all of this as a single thought crossed her mind. We’re going to die here… Shining Armor, Twilight, Mom, Luna… everyone… We’re allgoing to die here…Sunset subconsciously clenched her jaw all the harder. And it’s not fair… It’s not fair and I won’t have it! Sunset felt her anger rise to a boil, a boil that began to spill out and fill her with an energy she didn’t know she had moments before. She began to scream, “I WON’T HAVE—”

“Uh, guys?” Rainbow Dash’s voice suddenly flittered out. “Something’s happening with the storm…”

Sunset fixed rage-filled turquoise eyes on Rainbow Dash. “Is it magically disappearing?!”she frothed out.

“… Yeah, actually,” Rainbow Dash said. “That’s exactly what it’s doing.”

Sunset felt her anger return to a low simmer. “Wait… really?” Then Sunset saw it. An electric blue beam of was being fired off from deeper within the Empire, disappearing somewhere up in the sky above the Crystal Castle. A beam seemingly at war with the storm itself as the blizzard swirled around it and fired off lightning as magical energies arced out from the beam at the clouds around it.

The hail had ceased. The wind had stopped. The snow stopped falling. All energy was now focused high above as the weather itself battled it out with the massive cascade of magic fired up at it.

“No way…” Sunset uttered as she let her jaw unhinge.

Applejack piped up, “Well that sure ain't something you see every day.”

“What-What’s happening…” Fluttershy said to as the entire group of ponies began to turn to take in the sight in front of them. She looked over at the many authority figures gathered. “Are we safe?” She turned again to the lance of energy. “I sure don’t feel safe…” she murmured.

All the other magic users allowed their magical energies to abate as the stood and watched the awesome energies battle it out.

“Is that… Is that Starlight?!” Twilight cried.

Sunset laughed to herself. “It has to be! That crazy mare! She’s actually doing it!”

Sunset suddenly felt hot breath against her ear as she heard her mom’s voice gently speak into it, “Perhaps you should go and see if she needs help.”

“Wait… Really?!” Sunset answered excitedly as she looked at her mother and then Luna, Twilight, and Shining Armor as if asking permission.

“I believe we can handle things from here,” Luna said as if answering Sunset’s unspoken question.

Sunset grinned to herself. “Yes!” she cried as she broke into a gallop, slipped on the ice, and fell flat on her chin.Celestia let out a yelp full of motherly concern, but before she could get a word out, Sunset got back up, seemingly remembered she could now fly and took up to the sky headed for the beam. Sunset began to joyously shout as she let loose a few of her own magic blasts into the storm, momentarily clearing away the swirling clouds and allowing the sun to shine through, if briefly.

Celestia smiled up at her daughter, then looked down at Twilight and Shining Armor. “Twilight, teleport your brother directly to the Crystal Castle if you can. Cadance should be able to see to his wounds.”

A relief momentarily flooded over Shining Armor. Relief that clearly showed on his face until he tightened his features into a gruff scowl. “Now hold on, Twily. I’m not going anywhere until everypony—”

“Do it now, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Luna instructed with a smirk.

“Yes, ma’ams!” Twilight said happily as she and her protesting brother disappeared in a magenta glow and a ‘Pommf’.

Celestia looked over the remaining three Element Bearers, soldiers, and other ponies present. “Now, I trust we can all proceed to the castle in a quick, but orderly, fashion?”

Luna loomed by her sister with a serious look as if informing everypony there wasn’t another option.

Everypony happily nodded and uttered affirmatives.

Celestia smiled. “Very well, my little ponies, let us make haste.”

~-ooo-~

Starlight Glimmer howled in defiance as she continued to fire off a constant stream of her own magic into the air in spite of whipping winds and biting ice that ceaselessly assailed her. Energy continued to arc around her from her horn, destroying sheets of ice and leaving deep scores on the crystal houses and street around her. The storm was unrelenting, but she was could be just as obstinate, if not more so. She could stand there for hours… days if need, be… At least that’s what she told herself as she was continually pelted by snow, slush, and ice.

“Starlight, what are you doing?!” Sunburst cried as his glasses began to slip off his muzzle. “You can’t destroy a storm!”

“Not destroy!” Starlight shouted back. “Contain! I’m trying to contain the storm!”

Sunburst blinked a few times then pushed his glasses back into place. “That… That… That just might work!”

“Muahahaha! Of course, it’ll work!” Starlight assured. “You think this planet can cook up anything that can stop me?! I’m Starlight Glim-”

A heavy blow caught Starlight in the cheek, abruptly cutting off her words as she watched ice particles from the massive ball of frozen pain that had just smashed into her scatter into the squall. With a snarl and a sneer she focused her eyes back upwards and made sure her energy flow was constant, but she could begin to feel other heavy pieces of ice hit her body, and with all the energy she was pouring into the storm, it showed no signs of stopping.

Come on! Come on!Starlight thought to herself. If you only do ONE thing right in your life full of screw-ups, make sure it’s THIS!

And then Starlight saw it. An icicle spinning through the air like a baseball bat that decided it had a date with her head. There was no way she could stop the spell she was currently working in time to destroy or even block the incoming ice cudgel. She’d have to take it and hope she miraculously stayed standing and able to keep casting. And while I’m at it, I guess I’ll just so happen to save the day and every pony will miraculously decide I’m worth a damn. Starlight closed her eyes and steeled herself for the blow that was about to hit.

Instead, she felt the air to her right warm up with a ‘phwooosh!’ as she heard the hiss of water suddenly hitting the boiling point. She opened her eyes just as Spike rushed up to her side. “I got you covered, Starlight!” he exclaimed. “Let’s both let ‘er rip!” With that, Spike let loose with a torrent of green fire that turned ice spears and chunks alike into harmless sprays of water and vapor.

Starlight smiled to herself and continued to concentrate through the wind and the water that sometimes hit luke-warm and sometimes hit ice cold. She was holding steady, but it wasn’t enough. Even with Spike’s help, the weather was still fighting with everything it had and even Starlight could feel her energies began to run dry.

Suddenly, there was a rustling of a scroll from Starlight’s left. She glanced over to see Sunburst feverishly pouring over it. “It’s not much, but…” A golden yellow glow suddenly came off of Sunburst’s horn in a wave. A wave that removed water and ice alike and cleared the immediate area.

Despite the constant fire of the energy and jet of green flame being spouted out, for a moment all was calm in that tiny little pocket of the Crystal Empire. The weather stopped its relentless march forward as Sunburst’s spell changed it to nothing but calm, gentle air. Starlight could feel the warmth of Spike’s fire as if the heat was radiating from the dragon himself. She even felt the slight warmth of Sunburst’s body as he stood next to her and continued to pour energy as he stared at the scroll.

“Starlight!”

Starlight looked out, and there, flying through chunks of ice being propelled by gale force winds was Sunset Shimmer, grinning widely as she fired off blast after blast of her own magic up into the storm. “I know you can do it!” Sunset yelled. “KICK ITS ASS!”

For a moment, with the gentle, warm air around her, and her friends supporting her, Starlight was suddenly acutely aware of the beating of her own heart and just how alive she felt. She smiled to herself as she was suddenly hit with a moment of clarity.

Ah… So THIS is what Twilight was fighting for.

“BUCK YEAH!” Starlight cried as the stream of energy she was letting loose erupted from her horn. As the new outpouring of energy flew up into the tempest, the clouds swirling around the energy creased inwards and up as if the storm itself was just struck a wound. The thunder and lightning abated as Starlight’s energy swept over a sky covered with black clouds. The clouds then began to pull in and the sky began to clear. Light and rainbows shone out from a billion different facets as the ice-covered crystal houses were suddenly hit with sunlight.

Starlight was suddenly jostled as both Spike and Sunburst threw arm and foreleg around her in a massive hug.

“You did it!” Spike exclaimed.

“Now there’s a real wizard!” Sunburst chimed in.

“Hah!” Starlight exclaimed. “We did it! All of us! Even Sunse-Oh, crap…”

The two unicorns and a dragon suddenly looked forward as Sunset flew towards them and the ground at an alarming speed. “Ahhhh! Can’t stop! Can’t stop! Can’t—Ooofff!” Sunset hit the ground hard as she slid against the ice and then the smooth crystal street, only stopping when the other three present helpfully stopped her by happening to be directly in her way. All four were soon a tangled heap of legs, claws, and a pair of wings.

A few pained moans slunk out. Moans that quickly gave way victorious laughter as Starlight, Sunset, and Spike all hooted and hollered, celebrating their victory. Through the mess of ponies and dragon, Sunburst reached out a forehoof from the pile and groped about for his glasses.

“You utter mad-mare!” A battered Sunset exclaimed mirthfully as she untangled herself from the group and sat up. “I can’t believe how psychotic you are!”

“ME?!”An equally battered Starlight scoffed as she followed Sunset up. “What about you?! I can’t believe you actually were flying around in all that!” she said as she motioned out to the newly cleared sky.

“Pffft! That’s nothing!” Sunset replied as she looked over at Spike. “Just how crazy do you have to be to spit out FIRE into the wind!”

Sunburst finally felt the light, but comforting feeling of his glasses lightly under hoof. He quickly floated them back onto his face. Good… They’re not cracked…

“Hah!” Spike chortled as he got back up to his feet. “What about this guy!” Spike exclaimed as he pulled Sunburst close. Sunburst let out a little grunt of surprise before his eyes went wide and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

Spike continued, “I mean, dude ran out here to do a spell off of a frickin’ scroll! Now that’s gutsy…”

Sunburst said nothing, his mouth suddenly opening and jaw lowering towards the ground.

Starlight and Sunset continued to hug each other, pulling each other one side then the other as they laughed to themselves.

“Uh… Sunburst?” Spike said. He turned his head. “What’s up, dude?” Spike’s features suddenly plummeted from the heights of jubilance to the depths of despair. “Oh, crap baskets…”

Starlight and Sunset immediately stopped their cheering.

“Spike,” Starlight said. “What’s wrong?”

Spike pointed straight ahead. Sunburst was already looking in that direction, mouth hanging agape.

Sunset and Starlight both turned to see what the other two were looking at.

“OH, COME THE BUCK ON!” Sunset roared.

The group looked over towards the Crystal Castle. The air was still quite chilly, but clear of obstruction. It made looking down the slightly melted and very icy street quite easy. Firing up from the courtyard of the castle were four thin beams of magical energy, canary yellow, midnight blue, plum, and the largest, magenta. The magenta beam went straight up while the others went up at more of an angle. All four ended in a circular plane of energy. Likely some form of telekinetic force which held up an iceberg that was even larger than the castle itself and extended beyond the castle grounds to a fair amount of the empire underneath.

For a moment, nopony said anything. They all just simply stared out at the monolithic ice block that loomed over the heart of the empire like an executioner's axe ready waiting for the moment to strike.

“... What have I done?” Starlight murmured as her ears wilted, followed by the rest of her as she collapsed to her belly on the ground.

Spike wordless and gently rested a claw on Starlight’s shoulder.

Sunburst collected himself and shook his head. “That much power… You couldn’t have known what would happen… I mean… Not really…” He offered Starlight a small smile. “You tried your best, that’s what mattered.”

“Yeah, well my best just caused a lot of trouble for a lot of ponies,” Starlight countered. She shook her head. “Like usual.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Everypony turned towards Sunset.

Sunset walked out in front of the group and stared off at the scene in front of everypony. She somehow spoke with a seemingly cool indifference to what she was seeing, “Trying to do what you think is the right thing only to have it blow up in your and everypony’s face.” Sunset shook her head. “It’s the worst feeling ever.”

Starlight whimpered in response. “I’m sorry…”

Sunset merely continued, “I tried so hard to get what I thought was mine. I tried to prove to everypony that I deserved all the love and adoration they could spare.” Even from behind, the others could see Sunset’s muscles shift into the tell-tale signs of a smile. “And for a while, it seemed like the sun shined for me and me alone…” Sunset inhaled and let it out. “But there were screw-ups… Small ones at first… then big ones that threatened a family… then a kingdom… until finally in my effort to prove to everypony just how great I was. I nearly destroyed a planet… maybe two.”

Starlight looked up from her spot on the ground but said nothing.

“What are you saying, Sunset?” Spike asked.

Sunset turned and looked over her shoulder. “I’m saying that sometimes, despite your best efforts, that you don’t always end up doing what you intended to do and that sometimes life just loves to remind you there are places where the sun don’t shine and it’s not afraid to kick you there… repeatedly.”

“Well, um, I don’t disagree…” Sunburst said. “But I, er, I’m not sure how that helps right now…”

“You know… I hit rock bottom,” Sunset spun around and walked back towards the group. “Almost literally. Twilight and our friends literally blasted me into a crater I had to crawl out of. And then Twilight did something I couldn’t even have fathomed at the time… She reached out her hand and told me that friendship was everywhere, I just had to look for it. Me! Right after I tried to storm Equestria with a brainwashed horde of teenagers.”

Sunburst felt his forehead wrinkle. “Er… How big was this horde of, er, teenagers?”

“About a school’s worth,” Spike informed.

“… That, uh, that doesn’t sound all that fright—”

Sunset interrupted, “Sorry. Forgot to mention I could also turn them all into demons. So… teenagers… But super strong demon-pony teenagers who craved mayhem and murder.”

“Oh…” Sunburst uttered. “That is terrifying.”

“The point is Twilight’s out there,” Sunset said as she pointed behind her towards the magenta beam. “She’s out there right now still fighting with every last ounce of strength she has for her friends and what she believes.” Sunset looked down at Starlight and locked her turquoise eyes on Starlight’s amethyst ones. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty pissed off that all my friends and family here have fought tooth and hoof to get everypony through this and there’s still work to do.” Sunset turned and looked back at the giant ice castle. “So I’m going to go help Twilight, help my mom, help everypony and show life just how hard I can kick back.” She turned around. “What are you going to do?”

For a moment, Starlight considering staying on the ground. Considered keeping out of it for fear of making things worse again, but then she considered Sunset’s words and remembered the moment where she found the strength to defeat the storm.

She remembered Twilight offering her hoof in friendship after everything she did…

…and she got back to her hooves and shot the big ball of ice an absolutely putrid glare. “I’m going to jam my horn right up life’s @$$hole. That’s what I’m going to do!”

Sunset grinned widely and nodded.

“That a girl!” Spike cheered out as he pumped his fist in front of him. “I’m gonna blow a huge blast of fire all over life’s taint!” Spike turned. “What about you, Sunburst?”

“Oh… uh…” Sunburst thought for a moment. “Well… I suppose I can jam a scroll right into life’s genitals… whichever it may have… oh er… Or is life a hermaphrodite, you think?” he asked awkwardly.

Starlight grinned and shrugged. “So long as it has something soft and vulnerable, I suggest you jam your scroll as hard as you can!”

Spike fist-pumped then wrapped his free claw over Sunburst’s shoulders. “Yeah! Over and over again!”

“Right in the dick-vag or whatever!”Starlight exclaimed as she wrapped a foreleg around Sunburst’s neck.

Sunburst met this excitement with a confused “Uh…”

“Yeah!” Sunset shouted. “That’s the spirit!” She thrust out her foreleg straight out. “Alright, everypony bring it home.”

Spike was first to bump is claw against Sunset’s forehoof. This was quickly followed by Starlight’s hoof, then finally Sunburst’s.

“And, BREAK!” Sunset said as the group all collectively threw their forehooves and claw in the air.

“Ah, man!”

The group looked up to see Rainbow Dash hovering in the air just above them.

“Did I miss a huddle?!” she asked with a disappointed look on her face.

Sunset chuckled and shook her head. “Sorry, Dash… Maybe next time.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Well, I flew over here on account of all the crushing death we’re trying to make go away for all the ponies we sort of gathered right under it.” She pointed a forehoof over her shoulder behind her. “Hoping you noticed.”

Starlight whispered slightly, but Spike elbowed her and gave her a reassuring smile as Sunburst wrested a foreleg on her shoulder.

Sunset looked at the other three then nodded up at Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, we saw, and we’re all ready to mess up all of life’s dark and hidden orifices!”

One of Rainbow’s eyelids went up as the other went down. “… Say what now?”

“Get close,” Sunset ordered as her horn began to glow turquoise.

Rainbow Dash flew in and everypony huddled near Sunset. With a turquoise flash and a ‘BAMF’ the ponies and dragon where gone.

Author's Note

I'm just gonna pre-emptively mention I've got the obligatory Portal 2 reference covered in spades next chapter, but go nuts. I'm no parade rainer.

Chapter 19: When Life Gives You Lemons...

Chapter 19: When Life Gives You Lemons…

To say that the atmosphere around the Crystal Castle was ‘tense’ would woefully undersell the feeling that permeated through every pony and even the very air. The howling wind and pelting sleet had stopped, leaving the Crystal Empire in a state of frozen silence. However, the peace that one would expect to come with such a sudden change was nowhere to be found.

While it was unarguably quiet, a mood of barely restrained panic was the order of the moment as crystal and opaque ponies huddled together for warmth, in spite of shivers that just wouldn’t go away, and to comfort one another. Admittedly, the jagged horizontally aligned icicles that covered every crystal house and even the castle making the empire resemble some sort of frozen hellscape didn’t help, but that was hardly the main concern.

The weather itself had gone, or rather ‘changed’ so that particular danger was no longer approaching from all sides and closing in on the ponies, but now it was ‘up’. Directly above the ponies was a mountainous chunk of clear ice, much larger than the castle they had sought shelter near, and definitely large enough that it would effortlessly destroy a sizable chunk of the empire should it fall.

Likely, The only thing that kept the group from breaking into a blind panic was their leaders and the Element Bearers present. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy were actively engaged in making sure this dismal situation didn’t degrade further into an unsalvageable problem. All three trotted about the large group, making sure that injuries from the storm were treated and ponies remained calm despite the fact that death itself seemed to be looming above. Conversely, the ponies’ Princesses and Prince stood like beacons that shouldered the heavy weight of the glacier above with their magic.

Twilight Sparkle stood in the center of the group, her horn glowing the brightest and her giant ‘energy pedestal’ the largest. Surrounding her were Princesses Luna and Celestia and her older brother. All three were also lending their energy to keeping the ice above in place. Though his white coat still had blotches of brownish-red, Shining Armor’s wounds had seemingly been tended to by his wife.

Speaking of whom, Cadance sat near the group on her haunches with her eyes closed and magic not going up, but out, the baby blue energy seemingly radiating off her and empowering the magic users around her. Her energy came off in big, gentle waves that everypony could feel, carrying with it a rejuvenating feeling which was of slight comforting against a nearly unshakable feeling of impending doom. Cadance herself looked almost peaceful sitting there except for the fact that her body was trembling from the constant strain.

Next to Cadance sat Pinkie Pie who, contrary to her usual exuberant energy, simply cradled Cadance and Shining Armor’s baby in her arms and gently rocked the foal back and forth without a word. Perhaps it was the feelings coming from her mother, or the tense atmosphere, but the baby remained silent. She simply looked around with wide eyes at everypony around her.

“Don’t worry, little mini-Shining Cadance,” Pinkie said softly to the baby in her arms. “Your parents and auntie Twilight and your extended family full of powerful ponies with strange and wonderful powers will fix this!” For a moment, Pinkie’s smile cracked. “Yep… Everything is going to be just fine,” she said as she looked out at the crowd of scared ponies with a look that suggested that maybe Pinkie was trying to reassure herself as much as anypony else.

Fluttershy broke away from the crowd, glancing at Pinkie Pie as she made her way to Applejack who had seemingly taken a break to stare off in the direction Rainbow Dash had flown off to.“Erm… Everything will be fine, right?”

Applejack’s ears perked up and then she turned and she seemingly took a quick look around her to make sure no other ponies were in earshot. “Ah don’t know, sugar cube… I jus’ don’t know…” She looked up. “I wish I could say I was sure everything would work out this time but… Well… I reckon that wouldn’t be very honest of me…”

Fluttershy let out a scared whimper.

“Oh, pish posh!” Rarity cried as she trotted up to join the other two mares. “We’ve faced a cavalcade of villains already and this is hardly the direst situation we’ve been in.”

Applejack sucked in a large breath and let it out. “Maybe so… But Ah don’t know if any of our ‘friendship’ powers are gonna work well against a giant chunk of ice…”

Fluttershy perked up. “Hey! Maybe when Rainbow Dash gets back we can all get together and try Rainbow Power!”

Rarity and Applejack glanced at her.

“Hrrrmmm…” Rarity hummed as she tapped at her chin with a forehoof. “I think we’d have known intuitively to do that if it would work, or perhaps even just grew our extra-long manes and tails on the spot to take care of business, as it were.”

Applejack let out an annoyed grunt. “Ah just wish there was something we could do… Ah mean…” Applejack motioned to the group of alicorns and single unicorn pouring as much magic as they had out to keep the floating iceberg from crushing everypony. “Twilight Shinning and the other Princesses are working to keep everypony safe. But…” Applejack sighed heavily. “Ah just feel so helpless.”

Fluttershy smiled warmly at her friend. “I feel helpless almost all the time!”

Rarity turned towards Fluttershy as Applejack fixed her with a furrowed brow.

“Erm… but that’s probably not all that helpful right now.”

‘BAMF’

The three turned as Sunset Shimmer, Spike, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, and Rainbow Dash all appeared in a turquoise flash.

“H-hey everypony,” Twilight grunted out. “G-glad you made it…”

Somehow Celestia’s face turned whiter as she looked at Sunset. “I’m not…” she said as she stared long and hard at her adopted daughter as if it was the last time she may ever look at her again.

Sunset caught the look then stared upwards as tears immediately began to well up behind her eyes.

Spike looked over the large group of ponies, most with rather grim expressions on their faces. Oddly enough, he smiled and held his claws palms up in a slight shrug. “Geez, with this sort of mood you’d think somepony was dying.”

A series of groans erupted from Spike’s friends.

“Whaaaat?” Spike protested with a big grin on his face. He looked up. “I was just trying to break the ice.”

The groans increased in terms of quantity, volume, and length.

Sunset glowered at Spike. “Spike, I swear, if that pun is the last thing I hear from someone else, I’ll personally make sure your afterlife is an unpleasant one.”

“Well, at least Spikey-wikey still has his spirits,” Rarity chirped as she, Applejack, and Fluttershy trotted over.

“Whatcha thinkin’ there, Spike?” Applejack said. She looked up. “Think you can give this mean ol’ block of ice some Equestria Games treatment?”

Many ponies nearby began to murmur excitedly, especially the nearby crystal ponies.

Spike chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. “Heh-heeeeh… Sorry, everypony. Even if we got me to the top of the castle or something to make up the distance, I don’t think I could just up and melt that much ice.”

One corner of Sunset’s lips pulled tightly. “And even shrinking the ice block with that much magic fire would probably mess with all the telekinesis going on and it’d just drop on us…”

One could almost hear all the heartbeats immediately pick up and feel the air became thicker with tension.

Starlight tentatively looked over the group of ponies holding the ice mountain aloft. “I’m… sorry everypony… This was my fau—”

Celestia was quick to interrupt. “Oh, my little pony, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your actions most likely saved everypony here.”

Starlight stared at Celestia in surprise. “But… but… My magic made that giant chunk of ice.” Starlight shook her head. “I’m a monster.”

“S-Starlight Glim-Glimmer…” Luna huffed out between breaths. “I-I know you f-feel ter-terrible for wha-what you have done. How-however... I, too have made di-dire mis-mistakes, and I-I can assure—”

“Aunt Luna?” Sunset interrupted. “I’m sure Starlight appreciates the feeling, but I already kinda gave this speech.”

“Oh… ma-marvelous,” Luna said sincerely. “I-I did not believe I h-had the strength t-to get through it all.”

Celestia took a deep breath and let it out. “Do not trouble yourself, Starlight,” Celestia said. “I’ve encountered many obstacles in my long life and found ways to persevere.”

“… Yeah…” Shining Armor strained out. “It’s-it’s not such a big deal…”

Sunset looked up then cocked an eyebrow at Shining Armor. “It is literally a big deal.”

Starlight smiled slightly, her spirits seemingly lifted a bit. “Well… if I could hel—”

“Y-yes, pa-please…” Twilight croaked.

Starlight quickly took a position around Twilight and let loose her own pillar of electric blue magic and for a brief moment, the faces of the other magic users seemed to relax if just slightly.

Rainbow Dash piped up. “Okay, I know I don’t, like, know a lot about magic, but why is the giant ice block of death here instead of where Starlight was?”

Sunburst smiled slightly and adjusted his glasses. “You see, a major artifact like the Crystal Heart puts off a tremendous amount of energy that the surrounding area is accustomed to having. With it gone, there’s now something of a power vacuum which had Starlight subconsciously direct her magic towards the center and also pulled in the storm in the first place.”

“Very informative, Mr. Wizard,” Sunset said glibly.

Starlight shot Sunset a slightly strained grin.

Sunset sighed. “It’s an expre-Oh, never mind.” She looked around at everypony gathered. Without a doubt, Equestria’s most important ponies were all here along with over an empire’s worth of ponies. Many were looking at the princesses and her for an answer, and quite a few seemed to be looking at her specifically with an expression that seemed to ask why she wasn’t using her magic to help keep everypony from being crushed.

Rainbow Dash was quick to ask what everyone seemed to be thinking. “Hey Sunset, why aren’t you helping with the crurshy ice hill of death?”

Sunset furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak.

She was quickly interrupted in what would turn out to be an exceedingly rare case of Sunset happy her mother spoke over her. “I believe Sunset has a different role to play here.” Celestia gave her daughter a weak, but confident smile. “Go ahead, my little shimmering sunlight.”

Sunset smiled at her mother briefly then looked over the crowd of ponies. She through her head up high and began to address everyone in a voice of authority, “Alright everypony, I know this looks bleak, but we’ve got an all-star team of Equestria’s brightest, bravest, and buffest.”

Pinkie nodded her head in approval.

Sunset continued, “What we need right now is a plan to get out of this and I’m open to suggestion.” She looked up. “Because right now I have ‘fly up there and take out all my anger and frustration out on that miserable block of ice!’” Looking back down, she added, “While I have a lot of pent up aggression at the moment, I think we need more than me being cheesed off if keeping everypony alive is the goal.”

Applejack looked at Celestia and then Luna, “Pardon a farm mare for asking Princesses how they do their job, but can’t either of you just throw that huge hunk of rock into space? Or at least move it away from the Empire? Ah mean, you kind move the sun and the moon every day.”

Luna answered, “M-my sister and I are both h-highly at-t-tuned to those heavenly bodies.” Her eyes drifted up towards the giant ice block. “I-I’m af-f-f-fraid this is s-s-something quite new to both of us.”

Applejack sighed, “Sorry, had to ask.”

Celestia and Luna gave Applejack the slightest of nods of acknowledgment.

“Heeeey…” Starlight began in a strained voice. “Sunburst, is there a s-spell that could m-maybe make the ice g-go away?”

Sunburst shook his head. “I don’t know of a single spell off-hoof. It’s possible a combination of spells might do it, but with time being as short as it is and everypony occupied…”

“Oh…” Starlight said simply.

Fluttershy spoke up. “Um… What if we just, erm… gently lowered the ice while we all moved out from under it?”

Rarity gave Fluttershy a disbelieving look. “And crush the beautiful castle.”

“A-and library?!” Twilight cried. Above, Twilight’s magic faltered slightly and the other magical ponies let out started gasps as they compensated with their own telekinetic energy to keep the floating glacier in place. The sudden unexpected shift was marked by loud ‘crack’s from up above, followed by massive chunks of ice that fell from the blocks edged. These still huge pieces of ice fell to the empire below, taking out entire crystal houses before exploding into smaller jagged chunks that flew out in all directions.

Sunset shot Twilight a sneer as Twilight regained her focus with a sheepish look on her face.

“Nevermind,” Fluttershy said as she watched the gently drifting fallout from a fallen ice block and the crystal home it had flattened. “That still seems pretty dangerous.”

Sunburst nodded. “Plus if we forfeit the castle and this area, we’ll never get the Crystal Heart back in place. Given enough time, another storm will simply arrive and wipe us out,” Sunburst paused to adjust his glasses, “um, probably before we have a chance of getting help.”

Rainbow Dash raised a forehoof and opened her mouth as if to protest then turned to glance at her slightly frozen wings. She simply let out a defeated sigh and sank to the frozen ground.

Sunset looked around. Her turquoise eyes drifting over her Twilight, her friend who had literally pulled her out of her depths when she was at her lowest, even though she didn’t deserve it. She looked over Spike, always happy to lend an ear and try to make her feel better. She looked over Starlight and Sunburst, ponies she had just recently met who she knew had so much more to offer. Ponies who, in time, she could have blossoming friendships with. She turned to Shining Armor, looking at his face. A face full of determination as he strained with all his might to keep his family and Empire safe. Shining Armor who was clearly fighting with is entire, muscled, tight body. His shapely and chiseled flank, the kind of flank you could bounce a bit off, pulled tight as—

Sunset suddenly became aware that Cadance has opened her eyes just to stare at Sunset. With some slight pinkness to her cheeks and a sheepish smile, Sunset turned and looked over her adopted cousin who was beginning to shake as sweat rolled off of her, her serene expression having cracked as she bit her lip. Cadance’s baby seemed to be cooing in concern, reaching out for her mother as Pinkie gently rocked and shushed the small foal. Sunset looked over Pinkie and those other ponies that were so much like her friends back home. At the group of crystal and other ponies gathered around. At her, kind of, adopted aunt. At her…

…her mother.

Most everypony wore dour expressions and those expressions were all souring by the second. Sunset knew that everypony was going to have to rally if they wanted to survive this. Hmm… sour… now there’s an idea… Sunset cleared her throat loudly. “Do you all know what to do when life give you lemons?” she asked evenly.

“Oh! I know this one!” a voice far too bubbly for what was going on answered.

Sunset turned her head to glower at Pinkie Pie. “No, Pinkie. You don’t ‘make lemona—’”

“You burn life’s house down!” Pinkie interrupted. She was still smiling, but her smile was untamed and wild.

Sunset blinked for a moment as she caught a glint of something in Pinkie’s eyes beyond the mare’s normal cheeriness. The same wildness of her smile was also there, but something else, too. Pinkie’s eyes had the look of a pony who had seen and likely had to deal with just a little too much in her day-to-day life and wasn’t afraid to take everything that was severed to her and dish it back out in spades.

Sunset had no idea how Pinkie knew the right answer, but she understood that same feeling quite well as it was exactly how she felt at the moment. She decided to ask questions later, or maybe never, and just roll with it. “That’s right!” Sunset said as she pointed an enthusiastic forehoof at Pinkie. “Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!” Sunset looked skyward and throw her hooves up in the air.“I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these?!” She looked back down and extended a forehoof towards the crowd. “Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give you and your loved ones lemons!” Sunset looked directly up at the massive ice block that was held in place by a number of shimmering pillars of different colors. “Do you know who I am?! I’m the mare who’s going to burn your house down with the lemons! I’m going to pour all my anger, my rage into everything I know and make magic charged science lemons that burn your house down!”

A new feeling went through the crowd with the speed of lightning. Some excited murmurs even began to rumble here and there. The speech at least pushed through the soul-crushing feeling of despair that was weighing most everypony down and many began to look up. Not with hope or optimism, but with a fiery, angry determination.

It no longer looked like a group of ponies trying to come to terms with their fate, but instead an angry herd ready to pick up pitchforks and torches and carry them all to the ice mountains house and set fire to it and everything it loved.

Now if only that was a viable option.

“We need ideas, ponies!” Sunset barked out. “Right now we’re still at ‘I use all the anger, magic, and harsh language at my disposal’ to take this thing out, and as satisfying as it would be to use combustible lemons, we’re going to need ideas that can be executed roughly nowish.”

Sunburst stroked at his goatee with a forehoof. “Assuming that plan, or some variation of it works we’ll need to get the Crystal Heart reassembled almost simultaniously, along with a casting of Somnnambula's Weather Abjuration. Though it won't stop anything too big from falling down on us, it should prevent us all from being buried in a ton of slush and snow that hits all at once…”

Sunset nodded. “Okay… So as soon as I head up, the other alicorns minus Cadence set on fixing the heart.”

“I-I’dlike t-to help put back th-the heart,” Starlight strained out. She looked over Twilight, Celestia, and Luna. “I-if that’s alright…”

Much to Starlight’s surprise, she received nothing but smiles in return.

“O-of course, my little p-pony,” Celestia managed to coo out in a gentle, melodic tone despite the tenseness of her body and the stress on her face.

Starlight smiled to herself and let out a huff of tension as she closed her eyes and continued to focus her energy upwards.

“What about—” Shining Armor paused to inhale “—me?” he asked as he looked out with half lidded eyes.

Cadance opened an eye halfway and smiled as best she could at her husband.

Sunset shook her head. “Sorry hero. You’ve got very important ceremony to be in.”

“Oh, right…” Shining Armor’s head began to tremble as sweat poured off of him like a dribbling faucet.

Spike took a trepidations step forward. “Well… I can help Sunset, at least. I mean… I do have some experience in melting huge blocks of ice that can crush ponies…also riding alicorns,” Spike added with a smile.

Twilight grit her teeth. “I-I don’t think it’ll be enough…”

Spike sighed. “Well, spitting fire is almost all I got…”

Sunset’s eye’s widened. “What if I could boost the effectiveness of your fire?”

“Like an amplification spell?” Sunburst suggested excitedly.

“Er… More like I conjure up a high-pressure spray of liquefied hydrogen in front of me and let Spike let loose.”

There was a beat of silence as the dragon and other ponies chewed on the unfamiliar phrase.

Twilight’s left eye twitched slightly. “You know a spell that creates ROCKET FUEL?!” she cried. Above the ponies, there was a rumbling as Twilight’s pillar of telekinetic force wavered slightly. She quickly regained her focus as the lumbering ice beast above cracked and dropped a few massive chunks of itself in response.

Sunset grinned sheepishly in response. “Well… I’ve studied quite a few things that are not of Equestria design and have worked out ways to recreate them magically… Wait… How do you know what rocket fuel is?!”

Twilight still had energy to spare for a dirty look. “I read a lot.”

“Well, duh,” Sunset replied. Pinkie seemed to beam in approval.

“The tech-technology of your world fa-fascinates me,” Twilight continued glibly. “It’s no-no-not like knowing what r-r-rocket f-f-fuel is harmful in its s-s-sel—”

“Girls?!” Celestia grunted. “Please table this discussion for later. Time and energy are running short.”

Sunset looked back up to the task at hoof, in this case, a giant ice mountain in the sky. “Okay, so Spike and I can create a metric flank-ton of very hot fire…” Sunset frowned as she once again visually took in the size of the very real, very solid problem above everypony. “Better… but maybe not better enough…”

Twilight sucked through her teeth as the continual weight of the ice bore down on her and the other alicorns and unicorns. All of them were starting to show clear signs of straining, but Twilight pushed through her weary pain and spoke, “C-Can you focus your fire straight ahead…?”

“Pffft, of course!” Spike answered with a dismissive wave of his claw.

“I can cast a spell to make me reasonably fireproof,” Sunset added. “However, I’m conjuring a highly flammable liquid in front of me, so I’m going to be spraying it at a really good pressure,” Sunset answered.

“Melt a hole through the center—” Twilight continued.

Sunset looked at Twilight quizzically, “Okay, but that won’t—”

“—To blow it up from inside!”

Spike went rigid and Sunset eye’s shot wide open. She and Spike could probably suddenly shift from ‘steady stream of flame’ to ‘colossal fireball in the center,’ but as hardy as Spike was and even with a few protection spells up, it felt like suicide.

Twilight had to know that.

A quick glance at the faces around showed that those who had a good grip on how magic worked knew that, too.

Tears began to stream from Celestia’s eyes to join the sweat already pouring from her face. “N-No, Twilight Sparkle. I won’t lose my daughter again!”

Her already speeding heart accelerating to turbo speeds, Sunset grit her teeth hard. “It’s fine,” she spat out. It wasn’t fine, but everypony was running out of time and options.

Rarity rushed up to Spike and threw her forehooves around him. “But what about poor Spikey-wikey?!” He’d be in the horrible explosion, too!”

Sunset glowered briefly at Rarity. However, Fluttershy trotted up to Sunset, glanced at her, then gently nuzzled her as if silently reassuring the mare that more than one pony present would certainly miss her presence.

Sunset averted her gaze from both Celestia and Fluttershy and fought back the pressure building behind her eyes.

Spike’s body loosened in Rarity’s grip. “Rarity… It’s okay. If it saves everypony—”

“It is most certainly NOT okay!” Rarity fired out. “You are not flying off on some sort of suicide mission!”

The weight of the suggestion having hit everypony, the many others joined Rarity and Celestia in the protest, including many of the Crystal ponies who voiced their concerns for “Spike the Brave and Glorious”.

Sunset’s eyes looked upward with steeled determination. “No… This has to be—”

Twilight’s frustrated and angry shout blasted into the melee of voices and pushed them aside. “Would everypony please kindly shut the heck up and let me finish!?” A creak from the ice above punctuated Twilight’s sentence and more ice chunks fell to the empire below with responding ‘thuds!’

Twilight had everypony’s undivided attention and she looked squarely at Sunset and Spike. “You two will m-melt a hole clear through from the bottom to the top.”

Sunset opened her mouth to reply and quickly thought better of it and let Twilight finish.

Twilight looked over the ponies until her eyes settled on Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow Dash, you’ll fly st-straight down through the hole Sunset and Spike creates and does a Sonic Rainboom in the center. The c-contained f-f-force should rip the block of ice apart and h-h-hopefully send most of it away from the Empire, or at least a-away from the center.”

The silence created by Twilight’s yelling lasted for just a moment more as Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up like the grandmother of all professional Hearth’s Warming displays. “Twilight, Sunset,” Rainbow Dash began, “This is the best plan, in the history of plans.”

Sunset shot Twilight a smirk. Rainbow Dash was right; Sunset had just wished she had thought of it all on her own.

Though fatigued from continual minutes of magic use, Twilight returned the smirk, then grinned at Rainbow Dash a smile. “I-I-I thought you’d ap-approve.”

Applejack suddenly stepped forward in between Rarity and Fluttershy. “We’ll keep an eye on things down here… Maybe keep some ponies safe if some of that ice decides to fall straight down.” Applejack smiled wide. “Like Tartarus we’re going to take this lying down.” She looked over her friends. “Right?”

“Right!” Rarity and Fluttershy chimed in.

Pinkie grinned. “I’ll help, too!” she said enthusiastically.

Rarity looked at Pinkie quizzically. “Won’t you be watching the baby?”

Pinkie grinned wildly. “Oh, that’s how I’ll help…”

“Erm… Alright, darling.” Rarity looked over the crowd. “Well, I suppose we best get everypony in position for the Crystalling so this all goes as smoo—”

Twilight suddenly grunted as one of her forelegs gave out from under her and she took a knee. This seemed to cause a domino effect as the other ponies holding up the massive iceberg in the sky all let out grunts and cries as the frozen bulk above them cracked, groaned, and shifted. Magical beams began to diminish as deadly sized chunks of ice began to split off and fall to the ground. Even Cadance let out a strained cry of pain as she did all she could just to keep on her hooves.

“G-GO!” Twilight said at Sunset and Spike. “We’re not going to have any energy left at this point!”

“Pinkie!” Sunset braked. “Get the shards in position.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said as she zipped to the center pillar where the heart usually resided, pulled out a pink sack held closed with a rope from her mane and dumped the shards out at the pillar’s base.

“Alright, crew!” Applejack said. “Let’s herd some… well... herd some ponies!” She, Rarity, and Fluttershy suddenly rushed towards the crowd who were already beginning to disperse towards the front of the palace.

Sunset closed her eyes briefly as her horn glowed turquoise. A fiery-orange shimmering sheen suddenly enveloped her body. She opened her turquoise eyes that sparkled with determination. “Ready.” She unfurled her wings. “Spike climb aboard.”

“Roger that!” Spike exclaimed as he clambered onto Sunset’s back and fastened a seatbelt around his waist.

Sunset’s determined look flickered slightly as surprise came barreling in. “I have a seatbelt?!”

Spike shrugged. “It comes standard with the Alicorn model, apparently.”

“Oh, what the sideways FU—”

“Make HASTE, at ONCE!” Luna bellowed.

“FINE!” Sunset shouted as her lips curled up into a sneer that she quickly focused upwards. “Guess I’ll just find a nice, huge outlet for my anger!”

With a heavy flap of Sunset’s wings, she and Spike fired off straight up in the air like a bullet. They were quickly followed by Rainbow Dash who flew up and away to get to the side of the ice behemoth.

“Places, NOW!” Twilight barked.

Ponies all began to move very quickly, the pillars and planes of telekinetic magic suddenly disappeared, and a chunk of ice big enough to crush an empire began to fall.

Chapter 20: … Burn Life’s House Down!

Author's Note

For those wondering about the seatbelt last chapter:

Yeah... that's canon, bizarrely enough.

Chapter 20: … Burn Life’s House Down!

Chapter 20: … Burn Life’s House Down!

Four different colored beams of magic intersected in a torrent of energy as tiny shards of the Crystal Heart began to piece themselves back together. A scroll entitled ‘Somnambula’s Weather Abjuration’ and one entitled ‘Fixer's Crystal Cluster Conjoining’ both laid next to an open book next to four ponies. They continuously poured their rapidly depleting energy forth into the center point between them. The very ground shook below and the very sky boomed above, but Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Starlight Glimmer all stood fast.

A bit away from the ponies, past what once was a massive pink curtain that had now been mostly done in by the storm and on top of a platform under a massive heart-shaped arc, Sunburst held Shining Armor and Cadance’s baby as the two parents flanked the child. Pinkie Pie and Rarity stood next to Princess Cadance as Fluttershy and Applejack stood next to Shining Armor. Below the stage, the entire crowd of ponies hassled in front, the ponies attempting to quickly form some sort of long and wide line leading from the castle and out into the empire. A mixture of excitement and near pure terror gripped the crowd as they looked up at their rulers and the massive chunk of frozen storm that was heading straight for them.

In a spectacle of light sound and color that left the crowd looking up in awe, the chunk of ice suddenly exploded as a shockwave of rainbow flew past still rather large, but considerably smaller chunks. The light pink alicorn baby let out a mirthful cry of delight, first at the sight above, then at her parents who kissed her on her cheeks, and leaned their horns down to meet with hers. A golden glow surrounded the baby and it began to lift into the air, glowing as the nearby ponies watched with wonder. Rarity’s ocean blue eyes only glanced down at the magic surrounding the baby before they returned up towards the sky, her pupils drifting down as if tracking something. She presented a box to Sunburst and opened it revealing a set of crystals. Sunburst looked over the crystals and took one into a magic aura with a telekinetic, golden glow. Her task done, Rarity exclaimed a quick, “Good luck keeping the crowd safe!” and let the box drop, leaving the crystals to scatter to the floor as the white mare took off like a shot, off the stage and down to the frozen city below.

Rarity’s friends followed the white mare with their eyes.

“Did she just… leave?” Fluttershy asked in surprise. “I mean… I didn’t think that was an option…”

“No way!” Pinkie cried. “Rarity’s no yellow-bellied coward pony...Heh… No offense…”

“None taken,” Fluttershy replied.

Applejack glanced up, her eyes widening. “No. Ah think Rarity’s settling an old debt.” Applejack grit her teeth. “Get ready everypony. We’ve only got a little bit more time before things get rough…”

His eyes following Rarity briefly, Sunburst refocused his attention on the baby, Sunburst raised a foreleg and announced, “Citizens! May I present the newest member of the Crystal Empire!” Trepidatiously, he looked up at the broken wall of ice that still looked to be falling towards the Empire and added, “Hopefully not its last…” in a whisper.

The baby simply giggled and extended its massive wingspan as it hovered above its parents, the other ponies onstage, and the humongous crowd below.

Perhaps they were caught up in the moment, or perhaps the ponies present were still running off the excitement of Sunset Shimmer’s earlier speech, but the crowd mostly ignored the rapidly approaching death from above, murmured in amazement at the beauty they saw and bowed their heads low.

From the head of the crowd, a brilliant azure glow spread down streets over houses, clearing away snow and returning the Empire to a less frozen, if somewhat smashed state.

Sunburst telekinetically lowered the crystal he held to the ground and it began to glow with the same energy. Soon all this energy in the empire seemed to flow up in into the crystal. Sunburst suddenly turned and ran away from those ponies on the stage who were looking up at the sky frightfully. He galloped past the destroyed pink curtain and into the center chamber where the four ponies still poured forth their magic and he leapt, the energized crystal moving with him in an arc before it was thrust into the still shattered heart.

The heart suddenly began to pulsate with pink and then white light as it spun round and around, releasing a wave of energy that left every pony it touched translucent with faceted colors much like a crystal, and those closest to it with quaffed and tidy manes as well as the odd jeweled accessory here or there. Energy of all colors flew upwards from the castle into the ice above, further destroying much of the remaining frozen precipitation that still threatened to crush the city and ponies below.

For a moment, everything was calm and serene as the ponies bathed in the energies from the recently restored heart.

“WATCH OUT!” Applejack hollered as she leapt from the stage, hit the ground hard with a gallop and suddenly shifted sidewise. Applejack skid and slammed herself into a trio of ponies in the front, sending them reeling back. Almost immediately after, a giant chunk of ice hit the spot the three ponies had occupied moments before exploding into jagged chunks as it collided with the ground and the orange earth pony mare who had quickly move to save those in danger.

Those around the fallen pony gasped in alarm and those close friends of Applejack who observed from the stage above cried out in fear and distress as streams of red began to appear on their friend, flowing down her crystal coat and pooling on the ground below.

As the heavy thud of ice hitting the empty castle smashed and even seemingly tore the crystal structure, as more ice fell towards the ponies and smashed houses in the city below, slowly Applejack began to stir.

Amidst the relieved sighs and exhales from those holding their breath, Applejack got back to her hooves and stared up at the sky dotted with falling ice as blood flowed down from the top of her head down the front of her face and onto her muzzle. “… That all ya got?” she sneered.

-~Earlier…~-<

The sensible thing to do when something large and heavy is rapidly heading towards you would be to get out of its way. Especially if that ‘something’ was a massive, temporarily airborne glacier that was bearing directly towards you. Sunset Shimmer and Spike, however, were not being sensible. In fact, with the day they had had and with the current situation, they were pretty much entirely out of good sense at the moment. This was made even more apparent as they were, in fact, doing the complete opposite of getting out of the way of the potential metropolis murderer. As Sunset flew closer to the rapidly descending ice chunk her horn glowed turquoise and she let out a torrent of clear liquid that fired off in a steady stream in front of her.

“LET ‘ER RIP, SPIKE!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.

“YOU GOT IT, ORANGE CRAZY!” Spike shouted from the back of his alicorn mount before he let loose with a jet of green fire.

Sunset furrowed her brow at her new nickname, but as the stream of liquid hydrogen in front of her ignited in a blast wave that almost sent her reeling to the side or even back to the ground she wasn’t sure she had a good counterargument. With a heavy flap of her wings, she turned Spike and herself back so they were facing straight up. As the steady stream of blistering hot fire made contact with the iceberg above and Sunset found herself flying towards a brand new ‘cave’ full of fire and steam, she couldn’t help but feel Spike had something of a point.

Still, against safety and common sense, Sunset steeled herself mentally and magically as she let loose a wild, untamed scream and flew upwards into the blistering hot cave. Sunset’s head had begun to ache something fierce as she maintained a spell to keep her from being fried or boiled and also a spell to provided Spike plenty of fuel to keep the pair boring a hole straight up. This was not the ache of frustration, though there was some of that plaguing her head as well, but an ache that let her know that she had used too much magic for far too long a time and that there would be a heavy toll on her body.

And yet, Sunset continued pouring out magic and beating her wings upwards with all the strength she could muster. To stop maintaining her fire protection meant a quick death by green flame and roiling steam, to stop fueling the fire likely meant there wouldn’t be enough fire to maintain the speed at which Spike and her were melting a hole towards the top, and to even slow her ascent could spell certain doom for those depending on her and Spike.

As pain dug into her brain like dozens of long nails being simultaneously hammered into her skull, Sunset Shimmer flapped all the harder and focused all the more energy into her spells, her vision completely filled by green flame as she simply flapped upwards. The fire blazed and danced with hissing steam in an oddly serene display as Spike held on tightly, never for an instant letting up on the constant beam of flame he shot forth.

As the ache in Sunset’s wings changed from nigh-unbearable to a searing sensation of suffering and the stabbing in her head simultaneously intensified beyond any physical pain she had known she let out one final feral scream and flapped with all her strength as she emptied the last ounce of magic and physical energy she had. Around her, the flames dance changed to a maelstrom of destruction as Sunset could start to feel the blistering heat, threatening to end her.

As Sunset briefly wondered if this was her final moments, her world of fire suddenly exploded into brilliant sky blue light as she felt herself continue to be propelled upwards into the open, free air on a geyser of fire and steam.

Spike let out a jubilant cry and even exclaimed a victorious “We did it!” as he and Sunset touched the sky. Still heading upwards, Sunset tumbled end over end without any control whatsoever.

Pain wracked Sunset’s body like she could not believe, so much so that it was nearly impossible for her to focus her magic or work her taxed and singed wings. Still, as Sunset Shimmer watched a blur of blue and rainbow color streak past her and Spike, said blur hollering with pure, adrenaline-fueled excitement, Sunset couldn’t help but smile.

“Uh, Sunset?” Spike called out in a worried tone.

Sunset felt her uncontrolled ascent slow as she looked around. Squinting, her turquoise eyes found the sun and, to her, it seemed like it shone for her and her alone.

“SUNSET!” Spike cried in a panic as he began to jostle Sunset as her eyes slowly began to close.

As pain and fatigued rushed in to claim Sunset’s consciousness, a thought of Sunset’s childhood, seemingly so long ago, echoed through her mind.

‘Mommy? Am I… Am I a good girl?’ A much younger Sunset Shimmer asked.

‘Yes, my little shimmering sunshine,’ came the soothing voice of Sunset’s adopted mother, ‘you are a very good girl.”

And then Sunset Shimmer fell.

-ooo-<

Rainbow Dash sped downward, faster and faster in front of a rainbow trail which followed her as if it was trying, and failing, to catch up. Although she was mostly looking down at a large sheet of jagged ice, the entryway Sunset had left for her was pretty easy to find. In partly due to the fact that out of pairs of eyeballs in Equestria, like most things, Rainbow Dash has some of the best, if not the best. Easily top 10… no… top 1% in terms of eye-awesomeness.

The fact that the hole left for her had also erupted in steam and fire didn’t hurt, though. However, the other fact that the hole was still swirling with sweltering hot gas did make the prospect of flying through it seem even more dangerous than the idea already was.

So of course, Rainbow Dash flapped her wings all the harder and plunged straight down. The steaming walls of the cylindrical opening in the ice had already begun to crack and break. As a matter of yet another fact, the entire ice mountain seemed to be falling apart due to having a massive hole melted directly through its center. Though, there was still the problem regarding the chunks being a little too ginormous plus all her friends and the ponies back on the ground.

The wind pulled her lips back as Rainbow Dash grit her teeth, water streamed out of her eyes, mixing with the near boiling condensation that had already collected on Rainbow Dash’s coat. Her forelegs began to shake as she held them straight ahead of her and down, and all the while she picked up even more speed.

Suddenly, everything behind Rainbow Dash exploded into color and light as an ice mountain shattering ‘KABOOM!’ filled the air, or at least, that’s the sound Rainbow Dash assumed it made on account of all the faster than the speed of sound she was currently going. The ice above suddenly cleared and the sky above her opened up. Of course, the ground was still a very real, unmoving, coming up very fast, thing full of houses, a giant castle, and, oh yeah, big spiky icicles that wouldn’t have any trouble impaling Rainbow Dash at this speed.

Rainbow Dash flapped hard and pulled upwards, but with all of the speed she was heading down with, ‘down’ was still the primary direction she was heading. On the plus side, there was now a bit more ‘sideways’ in relationship to the ground to where Rainbow Dash was headed and she had all these big ice chunks that were in the air to help slow her down!

… Okay, that second part wasn’t so great.

‘KABOOOOOOOM!’

And the ‘boom’ from the Sonic Rainboom and ensuing blast wave were maybe a few extra ‘bonus challenges’ to keeping alive Rainbow Dash maybe could have done without.

With a startled yelp and a hard flap of her wings which let their protest be known with sharp, shooting pain, Rainbow Dash banked away from a living room-sized chunk of ice that she also kicked off from, flinging herself off in a different direction. She had just enough time to right her body, scream, and flap her wings and kick again as she almost slammed hard and fast into yet another chunk of ice. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash’s quick reflexes made sure her face was only slightly completely clobbered on the left side of her face.

Woozily, Rainbow Dash took note of, surprise, a giant chunk of ice she was now careening towards. Positioning her legs in between her body and the ice block, Rainbow touched the ice hooves first, gently slammed into the side of it, then pushed off with her pained legs which also let Rainbow Dash know that maybe that wasn’t the best idea with all of the intense pain they were now in.

With another twist of her body, Rainbow Dash noted with some satisfaction that she was coming in for a landing roughly around where the Crystalling, or perhaps Re-Crystalling was taking place. Of course, at the speed and angle that Rainbow Dash was approaching, it was the sort of ‘landing’ that left a very colorful and messy crater.

‘It’s fine!’ Rainbow Dash thought as she flapped her wings to raise herself further and screamed out in pure agony. ‘You’ve got this!’ she added mentally as she once again positioned her legs that once again visited wave after wave of pure torturous anguish onto her.

Rainbow Dash touched ground hard, but at least mostly traveling the same direction as the ground instead of the perpendicular to it. Sure her entire body felt like it had been partially steam-boiled and slammed against a few rocks while she flapped with everything she got, but soon she would come to a nice, slow stop… Except… Oh yeah! The entire FREAKIN’ EMPIRE IS COVERED IN A SHEET OF ICE!

As Rainbow Dash slid forward at what was still a ridiculous speed, she took note of what she was heading directly towards. Oh! What luck! That smashed house with its broken and jagged crystal walls and icicle spears will stop me from careening out of control! Rainbow Dash noted to herself somewhat grimly.

Much to her surprise, something pony-sized and white suddenly galloped directly in front of the smashed house with all of its unappetizing death it seemed to be full of. Rarity slid to a halt, directly in Rainbow Dash’s path. Of course, Rainbow Dash was still traveling more than fast enough that both her and Rarity would end up crashing into the house made out of pain and sharpness. Still, Rarity was a smart pony! She had to have a plan!

As Rainbow Dash focused her amazingly awesome eyes forward and took note of Rarity’s frantic and panicky expression, it became clear to Rainbow Dash that Rarity had no plan.

Rainbow Dash screamed for Rarity to get out of the way, but at the speed Rainbow Dash was traveling and all the difficulty she had even working speech with her bruised and spent body, what came out was a garbled mess of wind-attacked speech.

Rarity glanced behind her, and for a moment, Rainbow Dash thought her friend would do the smart thing and get herself to safety. Much to Rainbow Dash’s surprise, a mattress, a couch, and several pillows and blankets were suddenly ripped from the crystal rubble in an azure blue glow. The mattress was placed behind Rarity, followed by the couch, as pillows and blankets where place here and there to further cushion what was now an inevitable blow.

In the split second before Rainbow Dash’s world turned white from smashing headfirst into Rarity’s coat, then black from her face being buried within her friend’s stomach, then surprisingly shiny and blue as Rarity suddenly turned see-through, then black again as she and Rarity flew into a mattress and a number of cushions that helped soften the blow from ‘complete and guaranteed annihilation’ to ‘fast, but yielding smash of incredible pain that smells oddly of freshly washed linen’, Rainbow Dash was sure Rarity’s expression shifted from a frantic, panicky expression to a hard face of determination that seemed to scream ‘Bring it on!’

-ooo-

As Twilight Sparkle broke her gaze from the recently repaired Crystal Heart, she also looked upwards and something became rather apparent to her. That ‘something’ was that the ‘Best Plan in the History of Plans’, was far from perfect. She mentally prepared a numbered list to highlight just a few of its flaws.

As high as the magically created glacier was at the start of this exercise, time and gravity had brought it much closer even as Rainbow Dash exploded it from the inside with a Sonic Rainboom.

Because of its proximity to the ground, this also gave Rainbow Dash no safe options for landing. Pulling up right after the blast meant Rainbow Dash had to attempt to dodge many of the ice chunks still in the air, but pulling up close to the ground meant dealing with houses and possibly the castle. Twilight wasn’t sure which option Rainbow Dash had attempted, but did note her friend came in for a rather lethal appearing crash landing which was hopefully mitigated by Rarity’s quick thinking which, again, hopefully, meant two of her best friends were merely injured instead of dead inside that smashed pile of furniture and destroyed crystal wall which had only gotten to enjoy less than a second of being whole again.

With the iceberg being so close to the ground upon its destruction, there were, now, many dangerously large chunks of ice that were still going to land alarmingly close or right on top of the group of ponies. Furthermore, much of the ice had likely just been blown upwards so that all ponies present were in for a rather extended bout of giant, crushing ice falling down on them. That was, of course, unless somepony did something.

As the castle above shook with the impact of very large, rather solid objects crashing into it, Twilight Sparkle decided she would be doing something. With a magenta glow of her horn and a flash, Twilight disappeared then reappeared below the stage, her eyes pointed squarely upwards.

At first, it seemed like Twilight’s quick teleport might have been unnecessary as a plum-colored barrier suddenly sprung forth from the stage above, her brother no doubt taking advantage of his newly restored energy to attempt to shield everypony from the onslaught of falling ice chunks. However, as quickly as the shield spread up and out over the crowd it was just as quickly battered with a barrage of ice chunks of all sizes that smashed into the shield, leaving behind spider-web cracks that spread until the entire barrier was covered. Shortly thereafter, the barrier faded away to nothing.

Twilight heard the heavy thump of a pony collapsing above, heard her sister-in-law shriek out Twilight’s brother’s name, and heard her niece wail out in alarm. Yet, she felt her attention drawn across the sea of ponies in front of her and the danger closing in from above.

As the many large and jagged chunks of tumbling ice fell, Twilight took aim at the closest one to the crowd and fired off a blast from her horn. As the ice crumbled into smaller pieces, Twilight moved her head and picked out another block, then another. She let massive chunks of ice crash next to her and into the stage wall behind her as she focused on those blocks that might injure or kill ponies in the crowd. Twilight let out a yell of fierce determination as she fired blast after blast, even as she felt her recently renewed energy deplete almost immediately.

Thankfully, a wave of shimmering, baby blue magic cascaded from the stage above and Twilight could feel her aches and fatigue abate as Cadance’s radiant energy seemed to permeate through her very being and even flow out into the crowd.

However, the ice chunks were still coming down fast and in quantities beyond what one pony could handle and Twilight quickly found herself firing off at distant block after block as her newly crystalline body was pelted with pebble then stone sized chunks of ice. As a pony sized chunk of ice fell down directly towards her, Twilight kept her eyes focused squarely out into the crowd, firing off one last blast before the ice above would claim her.

‘SMASH!’

Twilight glanced up in surprise as the ice above her suddenly exploded into much smaller, far less deadly pieces. She watched as one of the smashed chunks of ice that was on the ground suddenly took flight and hit another giant chunk of ice that was due to hit dangerously close and both exploded into a crumbly mist of ice and snow.

Applejack lowered her back legs to the ground and galloped up to another large chunk of ice on the ground. “Keep that magic going, sugarcube!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got you covered!”

Twilight felt her lips open up into a smile as she doggedly looked over the crowd and once again fired blast after blast, paying no attention to the heavy ‘cracks’ above her or the gentle falling ice that fell on top of her.

-ooo-

On the opposite, pony free, side of the castle, ice freely rained down upon empty houses with a few errant chunks falling directly on the castle unopposed by anything but the basic defense that the Crystal Heart provided for the empire. Unfortunately, in regards to those few massive blocks that struck close to home, or rather, directly onto the home of the Empire’s resident rulers, they still impacted hard enough that pieces of the recently restored crystal castle began to break and fall away. One of these pieces just so happened to be the central tower of the castle.

Starlight Glimmer looked past the dual, intersecting arcs of the castle above the crystal heart and sneered upwards at the crystal tower as it began to teeter towards the front of the castle, pretty much where everypony else was gathered at. “Oh, and it’s going that way, because of course it is!” She quickly galloped out and up onto the stage, her horn blazing electric blue as a similar glow enveloped the broken and falling tower.

At that point, if someone had told Starlight her horn had just exploded, she would not have questioned it. Somehow her body felt as if she was physically trying to stop the multi-ton tower. Agonizing pain stabbed into her head and seemed to flood every inch inside of it. Her vision immediately blurred as the world seemed to start spinning. She collapsed to the ground but kept her eyes focused on the tower that was still coming towards everypony far too quickly for any sort of escape.

As the shadow of the tower loomed overhead Starlight saw alabaster legs inside gold regalia step beside her. She soon found herself flanked on the other side with midnight blue legs in silver regalia.

“Sister…” Luna said as she looked upwards.

Celestia smirked. “Yes, Luna… It is time.”

If Starlight had the strength or ability to concentrate enough for speech, she would have asked. ‘Time for what?’ Though, her question was soon answered as both Luna and Celestia closed their eyes and turned their heads towards each other so that their long horns intersected. Starlight’s head suddenly and involuntarily pulled to her left and she felt her, rather tenuous, grip on the tower began to slip. The electric blue aura around it fading as the tower suddenly rushed forward.

Luna opened her eyes which blazed with brilliant white energy and Celestia opened her own eyes which shone with sparkling gold. As the tower raced to the ground and as Starlight struggled to even slow the massive column of crystal, a beam of midnight blue energy flew up in a spiral with golden energy. The twin beams and struck the tower no more than a yard away from the horns that had fired them. The tower was surrounded with bright, white energy and began to lift up and then upright. Soon, the tower was back in the position it had once held.

Starlight felt the pain and pressure on her head abate, but only for a moment. Soon, she felt the weight of the tower shift in her magic. Though it had been put back in place, it was still quite unattached from the rest of the castle.

Starlight’s head began to tremble, in fact, her entire body began to quake. “Can’t you-Can’t you fix it?!” she cried up at the two princesses above her.

“We are sorry, Starlight Glimmer…” both princesses answered simultaneously as their horns continued to blaze with magic. “Our magic is currently locked together in one single, unified act. We can do nothing else until our energy is spent.”

As Cadance’s blue energy began to flow around her, Starlight felt some of her energy return, and with it, her frustration and rage. “Because of course that’s how it works!” Starlight roared angrily as she got up to her hooves.

Sunburst suddenly bolted past Starlight and past the two princesses with a scroll held in in golden glow. He galloped up the flight of stairs to the stage and then to the edge, right up to Cadance, who was absolutely flooding the area with her own magic, Shining Armor, who was picking himself off the ground, and Pinkie Pie, who was once again cradling and attempting to calm the baby as it let out terrified wails.

“Prince Shining Armor!” Sunburst shouted as he skidded to a halt in held aloft the scroll. “You need to fix the castle! Hurry!”

Shining Armor rapidly raised to his hooves and looked at Sunburst, then up at the castle with its tower engulfed in magic but sitting atop cracks as more and more crystal crumbled away. Heart in his chest, he turned to look at his daughter and then his wife.

“GO!” Cadance shouted.

“But—”

Cadance quickly interrupted, “If that tower falls, it’s going to kill a lot of ponies no matter where it lands and if it destroys the heart, all of this will have been a waste.”

Shining Armor took one more look at his newborn baby in Pinkie’s hands and then his wife again, “But—”

Cadance cut Shining Armor off with a quick, passionate kiss on the lips as she swiftly, but gently raised a forehoof up to caress one of his cheeks before she broke the kiss and locked her lavender eyes with his azure ones. “We’ll be fine! Our Empire needs you! Now go!”

Shining Armor closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then bolted directly for the Crystal Heart, Sunburst following close behind as the two stallions galloped down the stairs.

Shining Armor looked up at the ceiling above him as little pieces of crystal began to fall from cracks that were forming at rather an alarming rate. “Sunburst! I need that scr—”

Before Shining Armor could finish that thought, a scroll held in a shimmering golden glow suddenly flew in front of his face.

“Here!” Sunburst exclaimed.

Shining Armor scanned his eyes over the scroll and then his horn lit up with a plum glow that swirled and surrounded the entire castle starting from the bottom and heading up to the very top of the tower. His horn began to hum and vibrate, then squeal and shake as Shining Armor’s entire body quaked.

The cracks above slowed their spreading but did not cease and the entire castle continued to shake as if it might fall apart at a moment’s notice.

“It’s…” Shining Armor grit his teeth. “It’s too much… There’s just too much damage… I… I can’t fix it all at once!”

Sunburst eyes opened widely as he looked at Shining Armor, for a moment he glanced back at Starlight who was once again struggling with every ounce of magical energy to keep everything from falling apart. He felt a deep pit open in his own stomach as he considered his own helplessness. Slowly, his eyes drifted towards the two princesses, locked in a magical union as they combined efforts to keep the tower from crushing everypony. In fact, Sunburst thought, it seems the princesses are using Starswirl the Bearded’s Magic User Unification Spell to both borrow and bolster each other’s energy so— Sunburst let out a heavy sigh as he the answer to what needed to be done suddenly hit.

“Prince Shining Armor!” Sunburst said as he positioned himself directly in front of the Shining Armor and crossed Shining Armor’s horn with his own.

“Sunburst?! Wha—?”

Sunburst took a moment to adjust his glasses. “I do hope you’ll forgive the intrusion.”

“What are you tal—?” Shining Armor’s eyes suddenly exploded into silver light and, for a moment, he could see, feel, and understand every support, every collapsed wall, and every small, unwanted crack within and about the Crystal Castle and exactly how to fix each and every one.

Sunburst’s eyes blazed a fiery gold, and for a brief time, he felt power. Power the likes of which he had never known and a deep pool of magical energy to set right what had been broken.

Golden energy sprung forth from Sunburst’s horn and swirled around with Shining Armor’s plum energy and soon the entire castle was surrounded in shining white light as cracks began to mend, holes in walls began to close, and broken pillars suddenly righted, straightened and grew both up and down, knitting together to form one solid mass again.

Wearily, Cadance smiled as her energy continued to come off her and waves and she looked down the stage at her husband and her, or perhaps her daughter’s, new Crystaller.

A constant whistle that was increasing in volume caused her ears to perk up and Cadance’s face to point upwards with them.

As the massive chunk of ice fell directly towards her, Cadance wondered if her statement about her and her daughter ‘going to be fine’ was perhaps made in error.

“Ouch!” Cadance felt a quick pinch at one of her wings and then a sound she had grown to dread. The sound of her child sniffling and preparing to let out a sneeze. As Cadance hit the deck, for which of two potential life-ending threats, she wasn’t sure, Pinkie Pie stood tall on her hind legs above Cadance, baby held up in one forehoof, pink feather in the other.

The baby let out another sneeze and Pinkie Pie smiled widely and wild. “GAT-GAT, MOTHER BUCKER!” Pinkie shouted shrilly as a massive bolt of energy flew up from the baby’s horn and destroyed the ice.

As harmless snowflakes began to fall around her, Cadance let out a sigh of relief followed by a quick, “Thank you, Pinkie.”

Pinkie turned back and smiled down at Cadance, simply replying with. “See! I told everypony that watching the baby would help!”

Cadance just smiled and got back onto her hooves. She closed her eyes and reached out with her magic and feelings. Fear and panic had almost completely taken hold of the ponies in the land, that block of ice that nearly stuck her almost sending them over the edge. Not to mentioned their barely held together moods having to do without her magic. No… This will not do… Cadance reached out with her own emotions over the empire and tried to change fear into something else, tried to keep her people calm in spite of all that was going on.

But as fear slowly drifted away from everypony, Cadance felt something else bubble to the surface of the crowd.

Anger.

Raging, seething anger.

Cadance’s eyes shot open wide as a number of feelings and thoughts hit her all at once, flowing in and out of her as they spread through everypony present. Everypony in the entire capital.

What… What am I just doing standing here doing nothing?!

I… I can’t just sit here while my family is in danger. I have to do something… Anything!

Did… Did that ice ball just fall from the sky and try to kill our princess?! Did the sky just try to kill Princess Cadance?! BUCK THE SKY!I’M GOING TO KILL THE SKY!

All at once, magic beams of all colors and sizes fired up at the remaining chunks of ice, smaller chunks breaking as magic slammed into them, and larger chunks being sheared away as sheets and pieces ice were destroyed. These beams were soon followed by mad pegasi who took flight and angrily began to assault the blocks themselves, swatting and kicking up at the falling blocks as they continued their broken descent downwards. Finally, chunks of ice and broken crystal began, not to fall down, but to fly upwards as a legion of irate earth ponies picked up or bucked up whatever they could into the air at any ice big and solid enough to cause a problem.

Within moments, a great deal of the Crystal Empire was covered in snow once again.

Her breathing shallow and her teeth pressing hard against each other, Cadance closed off the emotional link and breathed in and out, trying to return her emotions back to something resembling ‘calm’ or maybe she’d settle for ‘exhaustion’… Yes… that felt much more likely.

“You did it, Cadance!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Cadance looked up at Pinkie.

“You united everypony here in the Empire together! I mean… it was through anger and not, like, friendship… But still! You united everypony! So, like… that’s got to be at least a B, B+ job well do—”

Cadance’s lavender eyes suddenly opened wide as they locked onto something above Pinkie, rapidly approaching from the sky. “Ice! Ice! Ice! ICE!”

Pinkie looked up and let out a couple startled yelps of alarm as a bowling ball sized chunk of ice fell straight towards her. She raised both the baby and the feather above her and attempted to tickle the baby’s nose. “Reload! Reload! Come on, baby! Reload!”

Unfortunately for Pinkie and Cadance, the baby simply cooed out mirthfully as it swatted at the feather that was being waved in front of its face.

As the ice closed in, Pinkie quickly leaned down and handed Cadance the baby, throwing her forelegs open wide as she silently hoped that, whatever she was made of, it was elastic enough to survive a being smashed in the face with a heavy ball of ice traveling at terminal velocity.

‘Pchooo!’

With a sound that was almost more gentle sneeze then blast of magic, a lance of azure energy flew out and hit the ice ball, shattering it into much less deadly, albeit somewhat painful chunks that hit and bounced off Pinkie’s face.

Pinkie got back down onto her hooves and looked towards the origin of the blast. Her sky blue eyes lighting up as she inhaled as much air as her lungs could possibly hold. “Rarity! Rainbow Dash!” she shrilled as she dizzily attempted to gallop down the stage, instead, slipping and bouncing down most the way. As Pinkie rolled to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, she once again got to her hooves and broke into a gallop. Continuing on a path, mostly towards, though sometimes askew, of her friends. Pinkie frequently stopping and repeatedly adjusting her course as necessary.

Cadance watched as Pinkie ran off in something of a zig-zag, smiling to herself as she slowly pulled her baby close to herself and nuzzled it. The baby burbled gleefully in response. Cadance slowly and painfully rotated herself on her belly using her legs and wings. As she shifted, she noticed Celestia, Luna, and Starlight Glimmer all belly down on the stage, seemingly a similar state. “Erm… Everypony… uh…” Cadance paused as she thought of the best way to phrase the question on her mind, “… going to live?” she asked.

Princess Cadance and Luna let out pained groans in response.

“I… I think so…” Starlight murmured. “Uh… Princess Cadance?”

Cadance smiled. “Just ‘Cadance’ is fine.”

“Okay, Cadance… Is my horn still attached to my head, or did that get smashed into a million pieces with, like… a huge ice block or chunk of crystal that hit me in the face?”

“Your horn looks fine,” Cadance answered.

“… Oh, Good… I think,” Starlight replied.

“How’s mine?” Cadance asked.

“Uh… Looks pretty intact…”

“Oh… Okay! Um…” Cadance let out a pained grunt as she tried to rise to her hooves. “I… um… I can’t seem to be able to get up under my own power…”

“Yep!” Starlight simply replied. “A lot of that going around!”

“Shining Armor! Sunburst!” Cadance called out. “You two alive down there?”

Down by the crystal heart, two masculine groans drifted up the stairs and back up to the ponies present.

“A lot of that going around, too!” Starlight added.

Cadance felt searing pain shot through her head, and as she looked up she noticed her baby giggling and tugging on her horn. “You’re quite the headache, little one.”

The baby looked down and burbled with a smile.

Cadance took the baby into a warm, loving embrace as the baby cooed mirthfully. “But you’re my headache!”

-ooo-<

Rarity and Rainbow Dash slowly limped down a crystal road, each with a foreleg draped over the other’s shoulders, one of Rainbow’s crystal wings dragging limply on the ground. With twin sighs of resignation, both braced themselves as Pinkie Pie clumsily flung herself at them, inadvertently taking all three mares to the ground as Pinkie did her best to hug them both with all the limbs at her disposal.

“Rarity! You saved us!” Pinkie cried as she enthusiastically nuzzled her nearly completely translucent crystal friend.

Rarity couldn’t help but smile even as Pinkie roughly rubbed herself against her face. “Well, I suddenly felt very angry at the sky and the ice in it, darling.” Rarity smiled and held out a crystal hoof in front of her. “At least I looked fabulous while attacking it…”

Pinkie Pie suddenly shifted her nuzzling to Rainbow Dash. “Dashie! You exploded the ice and saved us all!”

“Hah! No problem, Pink—”

“Except for the many, many, many,smaller chunks of ice that still fell and almost killed everypony!” Pinkie added cheerfully.

Rainbow Dash frowned grumpily at her bubbly friend. “Hey! I did the best I could! Twilight said to fly into an ice-hole, surprisingly hot and muggy, by the way, and blow up that monster iceberg! She didn’t tell me to somehow explode it with so much force it that it’d somehow disintegrate!”

Pinkie Pie paused for a moment as she looked at Rainbow Dash. Releasing her grip on both Rarity and Rainbow Dash, she slowly backed away before erupting into hysterical laughter that had her rolling on the ground. “AHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash cried in annoyance.

“ICE-HOLE! PFFFTAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Pinkie Pie! It’s not fun—”

“HOT AND MUGGY! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!”

“HEY! I…oh…” Rainbow Dash’s lips suddenly curled up into a smile. “HeheheAHAHAHAHA!” She soon joined Pinkie on the ground. “AHAHAHA! THAT IS FUNNY! AHAHAHAHA!”

Rarity simply looked down at the laughing pair and shook her head with a smile.

“Are you two alright?!” Twilight called out.

Rarity looked up as Twilight approached with Applejack, both shimmering in the bright, cloudless day. Applejack slightly less so on account of all of the caked on blood.

“We’re fine, for the most part!” Rarity called back. “A dislocated wing. Some sore muscles.” She looked back down at her crystal self. “Though, this crystal look always is a treat for the eyes.”

As Twilight and Applejack got up to the group Applejack took a good look around. “Uh… Anyone know where Fluttershy went?”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Spike… Sunset…” she murmured as she pointed her eyes skyward. This was quickly mirrored by the ponies around her.

Celestia’s desperate plea suddenly echoed out across the Empire. “Has anypony seen my daughter?!”

>-ooo-<

“SUNSET!” Spike yelled has he leaned forward, placed his claws on Sunset Shimmer’s shoulders and did his best to shake her awake as she and Spike fell. The two spun and spiraled, doing aerial somersaults as they fell closer and closer to the ground. Sunset simply flopped about like an alicorn ragdoll, a sign Spike recognized as a pony who had completely drained themselves of any sort of magic or even physical energy to speak of.

Spike’s, or rather, Sunset’s seatbelt held tightly to Spike, at least keeping the pair together, but as Spike caught glimpses of the ground in between all the spinning and Sunset’s wings and legs flailing about, he noted that ‘accepting one's death for the greater good’ and staring that death in the face where two very different things and that the former does little to prepare one for the later.

Suddenly, something white and bright began to rapidly approach. Spike did his best to focus his vision on it, noting that some sort of wave of magical energy was racing up past the ice below towards him and Sunset.

Ah! They restored the crystal heart! Spike thought. Hey! Maybe the energy will wake up Sunset and she can fly start flying again!

Spike smiled at the self-assured thought of safety and grinned all the wider as the energy washed over him, turning his purple and green body slightly translucent as it did the same to the orange alicorn he was strapped to.

“Phew!” Spike said as he felt renewed energy course through him. “Well, that was close, huh Sunset?”

No response.

Spike looked ‘down’ at the alicorn she was riding. Sunset was now somehow wearing a fair amount of semi-translucent gold jewelry and her hair was now tied into a smart-looking bun, but she hadn’t stirred. She was still spinning and spiraling out of control with her limbs going every which direction.

“Uh… Any time now, Sunset!” Spike said.

He shook her once more, and again, received no response in return.

A sudden thought occurred to Spike that maybe Sunset wasn’t just unconscious and he momentarily forgot about the ground as he shook Sunset with everything he had. “SUNSET SHIMMER!” he cried as tears sprang to his eyes. For a moment Spike caught sight of the sparkling empire below and realized he would soon join it, fast and hard, and that there really wasn’t anything he could do at this point. Spike closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

‘Thump!’

Huh… Must have hit the ground so fast I barely even felt it… Erm… Feels like I’m… flying? Welp… Guess I’ve died and gone to heaven…

“Are you alright, Spike?!”

“Gee, angels sure have nice, soft voices…” Spike commented.

“Uh… erm… Wow… Thank you…”

Spike opened his eyes. “Fluttershy?! You’re an angel?!”

Fluttershy stared back at Spike, her butter-colored cheeks turning crimson. “Maybe now’s not the best time for this…”

Spike shook his head and patted his body. “I’m… I’m alive! HAHA!” He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Fluttershy’s neck as he gave her a quick nuzzle. “You saved us!”

“Sure!” Fluttershy said with a smile. “I mean… Helping ponies up when they fall is about all I can do right now…”

Spike suddenly thrust his claws into Fluttershy’s crystal mane and pulled her face up close to his. “Sunset!”

“Umm… erm… Yes…” Fluttershy replied as her teal eyes stared into Spike’s emerald ones. “I have her, too… You’re on top of her… and… erm… You’re together pretty heavy? So…”

“We need to land, now!” Spike cried.

“Erm… Yes… I was just about—”

“Sunset stopped moving almost as soon as we made it out of that iceberg!”

“… Oh…” Fluttershy said simply, her face turning a lighter shade of yellow as she tilted her head past Spike to look down. Her eyes easily caught sight of the Crystal Castle, and Fluttershy began a quick, descent towards Cadance and the other ponies that had gathered up on the stage.

“Something’s wrong!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Sunset isn’t moving!”

Tears seemed to shoot out of Celestia’s eyes, but somehow she was holding herself upright admits the other exhausted and almost completely drained saviors of the Crystal Empire. “Cadance! Sunset is going to need—”

“Already, on it auntie,” Cadance said as she slowly limped over to Celestia, one foreleg wrapped around her baby.

“Here, I’ve got her!” Twilight said. She grunted in pain as her horn glowed briefly, sparked, and went dim, then glowed with a dull magenta as she lifted the baby in a telekinetic aura. The baby simply giggled and cooed in delight as Twilight took her into a foreleg.

“Also,” Rainbow Dash began to add as her eyes opened wide, “Fluttershy doesn’t seem to be slowing down, like, at all!”

“Falling! Falling! Falling!” Fluttershy frantically repeated over and over as she rocketed down towards the group, her forelegs firmly wrapped around Spike and Sunset. Half a dozen hastily conjured, barely functional, magical nets of different colors went up and almost immediately fell apart as Fluttershy, Spike, and Sunset fell into and through them, each net slowing them down only a little. Thankfully, what they hit was not the ground but a battered and misshapen mattress suddenly put into place by Rarity and held there by Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

With one rough bounce, the three came to a stop on the mattress which was quickly swarmed by ponies. Spike unbuckled his seatbelt and scrambled towards Twilight and Rarity, throwing both his arms around their necks as the two began nuzzling him like they had never nuzzled him before. Dizzy, Fluttershy soon found herself pulled off the mattress and into Pinkie Pie’s embrace.

“HAH!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she reached over and ruffled Fluttershy’s crystal mane. “Maybe you should join the Wonderbolts! You know… once we work on those landings!”

“Erm… No, thank you…” Fluttershy replied. “I, um, really like the ground better…”

Applejack let out a snort of laughter.

And then, there was Sunset, unmoving and unresponsive as she laid in mother’s arms, her aunt and cousin standing over her. Cadance poured forth waves of magical energy, yet Sunset remained motionless.

“Come on, Sunset!” Celestia cried as she sat on her haunches and rocked the fallen alicorn in her arms. “Come back to me!”

Everypony present stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at Sunset. Only Cadance continued to work her magic as Luna stared down at Sunset and looked at her sister with grim seriousness.

“Say something! Anything! Scream at me!” Celestia pleaded. She buried her tear-streaked face in Sunset’s chest. “Just… Just don’t leave me!” With that, Celestia broke into sobs, her face still pressed into Sunset.

“… Auntie…?” Cadance said quietly as she leaned forward and gently rested a foreleg on Celestia’s shoulders.

“No… NO!” Celestia cried out in response as she shook her head back and forth.

Tears began to well up in the eyes of everypony and the one dragon present.

Luna leaned down to fire a glare at Cadance. “Leave her be, child. She’ll need tim—”

“Sunset is fine,” Cadance said, her gaze shifting towards Luna. “She’s completely, 100% fine.”

The sobbing paused and everypony’s gaze suddenly shifted towards Cadance.

Cadance continued to meet Luna’s gaze. “Can’t you feel it?”

Luna blinked a few times then closed her eyes, her horn glowing a dull midnight blue briefly. “Oh…” she uttered as her eyes opened back up. “So she is.”

Slowly Celestia, raised her head back up and lowered Sunset Shimmer onto the nearly destroyed mattress below and slowly, Sunset’s eyes began to flutter open and her turquoise eyes met the lilac eyes of her mother.

“SUNSET!” Celestia squealed in delight.

Like slowly poured molasses, the sides of Sunset’s lips curled up into a smile. “… Mommy…” she hushed out in a breathy voice. “Am I… Am I a good girl…?”

“Yes, my little shimmering sunshine,” Celestia said as took her daughter into a warm embrace, “You are such a very, very good girl.”

As she began reaching out to ponies with more limbs than what one would think a pony has at her disposal, Pinkie Pie let out an excited, “Best Crystalling ever!” and the silence that seemed to loom over everything suddenly fled as a metropolis worth of ponies all broke out in jubilation.

Chapter 21: Falling Death-Ice Wrap Up!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 22: All’s Dumb That Ends Dumb

Sunset Shimmer soared through the sky with clear blue skies overhead and crystal ponies below. Crystal ponies who bustled about, fixing up damaged crystal houses and providing the working ponies with care. Despite the clear sign from the weather above that the ponies would not be assaulted by storm winds and the signs below of ponies happily rebuilding, Sunset wore a scowl on her face as Celestia flew close behind. Celestia’s pastel mix of a mane and tail shimmered behind her as it flapped about in the wind.

“For the last time, mom, no!” Sunset shouted.

“But you can move back into the Castle!” Celestia shouted after her daughter as she followed close behind. “I’ll totally rescind your banishment and throw a parade AND a party in your honor!”

Sunset put on a thoughtful expression. “Okay, well I DO like things that are in my honor… But, still no!”

“It’ll only be until we find you a new kingdom or empire to rule over… I mean. I’m sure it’ll only be a few decades or more till another mysterious place from Luna and my past pops up!”

“Mom! I am not just going to hang out around the castle like Cadance did until some new empire or kingdom for me to rule just shows up randomly!”

“Well, sure! The Crystal Empire resurfaced already, but maybe the Metal Monarch and his kingdom will return or even one of the mysterious cities of gold!”

“… The what now?” Sunset asked.

“I’ll fill you in if either of those things actually shows back up.”

“Ugh… How about you just book-text me if they do?”

Celestia frowned. “Well… maybe you can start having your own friendship adventures, somewhere close to Canterlot,” Celestia mumbled, “and eventually you’ll get your own castle!”

“… I’m not moving to Ponyville either, mom.”

“Okay… What about Cloudsdale?”

“I’m not a pegasus, mom.”

Celestia smirked. “You’re now part pegasus.”

Sunset glanced behind at her wings. “Well… Okay… but I was originally a unicorn and maybe the population of Cloudsdale just might have trouble with an outside princess just showing up for the sake of having ‘friendship adventures’. Maybe you should’ve had Cadance move there before you sent her off to the empire?”

Celestia pursed her lips. “How about…”

“Mom!” Sunset protested. “I appreciate you wanting me to stick around, but I’ve started a whole new life in this other world! I mean… Being a magical pony princess has its appeal, don’t get me wrong, but I have friends back home, Wifi, and a Netflix account.”

Celestia’s brow furrowed. “What the heck is a Netflix account?”

Sunset smirked. “Ask me again when you can take about a week off from ruling Equestria.”

Celestia sighed. “I guess you have had a few years to start a new life…”

Sunset sighed. “Look… Mom… I know we still have a bunch to talk about, but—”

“But you barely got a chance to talk to your Aunt Luna!” Celestia interrupted.

“It’s not my fault she fell asleep on her pancake pile at breakfast this morning!” Sunset protested. “Besides! She ended up showing up to one of my dreams last night.”

“Oh really?” Celestia said. “How did that go?”

~-ooooo-~<

An orange hand rummaged frantically through a backpack, pushing aside folders, pencils, and books. “Notes… notes…” Sunset said in a near panic. “I’m sure I took notes on the true, hidden history of Christmas…” A very human Sunset groaned. “I can’t believe I’m wishing I picked Pinkie’s or Sonata’s brain on this topic!”

“Sunset Shimmer!” a female’s voice called out.

Sunset looked up into the scowling face of Ms. Cheerilee.

“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee!” Sunset said. “Just… give me a minute or two! I’m sure I can prepare for the te—”

“Did you come to school in your underwear?!”

Sunset looked down and noted she was wearing a purple bra and some purple panties with an orange cut jewel on them in front of a treble clef. “This… This is NOT my underwear…” Sunset murmured with red cheeks and a slightly horrified look as the students around her all pointed and laughed.

“No…” a female voice purred out seductively as the back of an orange hand was slowly dragged over Sunset’s face. “They’re mine.”

Sunset clamped down on her teeth as her turquoise eyes slowly turned to stare at Adagio Dazzle, the Dazzling diva sitting at the desk next to Sunset and clearly admiring what she saw. “Uh… Hello, Adagio… Do you know where Sonata is? I kinda need to talk to her about something.”

Adagio chuckled. “Oh Sunset, you don’t need to play coy with me… If you wanted a public three-way, all you had to do was ask.”

Sunset shut her eyes hard. “No, Adagio! That’s not at all… I need to know the true, hidden history of Christmas, alright?!”

“Uh…” a male voice interjected. “Would it be too much to ask if we turned it into a four-way?”

Sunset looked up to see Flash Sentry inexplicably wearing a magenta bra and matching panties with a yellow and red sun on the front.

“Flash!” Sunset said in a miffed tone. “Why the heck are you wearing my underwear… and nothing else?!”

Flash pointed at Adagio. “Well, Adagio is wearing my underwear!”

“THAT ONLY ANSWERS ONE OF MY QUESTIONS AND JUST RAISES SO MANY MORE!” shouted Sunset.

Adagio grinned seductively. “Oh, you know I look great in nothing but a pair of boxers and a smile… Also, answer the boy's question, Sunset.”

Sunset raised her right fingertips to her forehead and closed her eyes. “Flash! Adagio! I don’t have time for this! We’re in class, and I really need to talk to Sonata or Pinkie!”

“Yo, Sunset!” Sunset looked up towards the door of the classroom where Aria stood, seemingly indifferent to Sunset or Flash’s state of undress or the fact Adagio was currently getting quite friendly from the desk next to Sunset. “There’s like… a big dark blue horse with wings, a horn, and magical hair here to see you.”

“What?” Sunset said. She shook her head. “No, never mind that. I need to talk to Sonata!”

“Yeah, eff that,” Aria said as she turned and waved behind her. “This dream is pretty effed up and I don’t want to deal with any of it!”

“Dream?!” Sunset said. “Wait… Are you just in my dream, or In my dream, in my dream?”

Aria paused just long enough to answer with, “That sentence was so stupid it doesn’t warrant an answer!” With that, Aria stomped off.

Sunset sighed as Adagio pulled herself into Sunset’s lap and began smooching the side of her face.

Princess Luna poked her head into the classroom regarding what she saw with surprise until her eyes focused on familiar red and yellow hair. “Sunset Shimmer? I sensed you were distressed and thought…” Luna took another look about. “Why are most these mostly hairless simian things of which you seem to be one of wearing so many more garments than yourself?”

Adagio chuckled breathily. “Why Sunset,” Adagio gave Luna a hungry look, “I didn’t know you were into such weird stuff…” She put her mouth a few millimeters away from Sunset’s ear. “…I like it,” she said in a seductive whisper.

Flash looked at Luna than back at Sunset. “You know… Maybe I have to come to terms that I have a thing for horse women, but I think I like it, too.”

Luna frowned. “Is… is… is this a bad time?”

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” Sunset yelled.

<~-ooooo-~>

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sunset answered.

Celestia frowned. “Well, I was rather hoping you’d have more opportunities to talk with my sister. I rather think you two would get along nicely.”

Sunset sighed sadly. “Yeah… me, too…” she replied. “STILL! It’ll have to wait. My friends need me to help deal with the occasionally magical weirdness that’s leaked over from this side of the mirror and who knows how much stuff has just been lying around the place because Starswirl used the dimension as his personal dumping ground for whatever he didn’t feel like dealing with at the moment!”

Celestia tapped at her chin thoughtfully. “Starswirl did have a slight habit of picking short-term solutions to potentially long-term problems… though given his lifespan comparatively speaking to that of an alicorn’s, I suppose one could hardly blame him there.”

“UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Well, I suppose it’s fair of you to be angry,” Celestia replied. “I mean… you did have to deal with the sirens…”

“Not that!” Sunset exclaimed. “Though, yes… Those three are STILL a pain in all my sensitive bits.” For some reason, a little voice in Sunset’s head that sounded just like Adagio’s purred out, Oh, you know you love it… Sunset shook her head briefly and pointed down. “It’s THAT!”

“… Oh, we’re here,” Celestia said as she began to lean down and circle the train station.

“No, it’s THAT!” Sunset said as she pointed emphatically at the colorful train on the tracks.

“The… train?” Celestia replied.

“THAT IS THE WORST TRAIN IN THE HISTORY OF TRAINS! IT DOESN’T EVEN OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!”

“… Well, I’m not sure I quite understand your grievances with that train, but if you wait around here for a bit longer, I can summon a different—”

“AND NOW I’M GOING TO RIDE IT OUT OF SPITE!” Sunset declared.

Celestia sighed. “Just trying to help my daughter,” she uttered to herself.

Celestia and Sunset landed, Twilight and the other residents of Ponyville were already present as well as Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, their baby, Starlight, and Sunburst. The ponies and dragon present exchanged greetings up until the point that Sunset took another rage filled glance at the train and shouted. “I AM AN ACTIVE VOLCANO OF TICKED OFF AT THE MOMENT, SO I SUGGEST EVERYPONY GIVE ME SPACE!”

With slightly worried expressions, everypony took a few steps back from Sunset.

The baby’s eyes went wide and watery and she began to sniffle.

Sunset momentarily considered letting the baby wail in hopes it might destroy her most hated enemy at the train station, but soon found herself rushing over to the child cradled in Shining’s foreleg. “Oh, shhh-shhh-shhh-shhh Sorry!” Sunset said in a soothing voice. “Auntie Sunset just hates the train with every fiber of her existence!”

The baby paused and took a look at the train.

Cadance put on a small smile. “Thanks for watching her last night, Sunset. Shining and I were finally able to get some sleep and the baby hasn’t blown a single hole through the castle since you brought it back.”

Sunset smiled. “Well, I think you just need to let the baby wear itself out a bit… get out that extra energy, you know?”

“Erm,” Sunburst trotted up, “I did have a scroll prepared to deal with the baby’s power fluctuations. I didn’t really have a chance to give it to you two with all the activity yesterday.”

“What?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Well, that’s no fun!”

Cadance smiled at Sunburst. “I appreciate the thought, but I think our baby is fine just the way she is.”

Sunset smiled widely and shook her head as Twilight and the rest of her friends either cringed, shook their heads, or cowered in fear.

“Speaking of foals,” Celestia said, she looked at Sunset. “I just want to get out there that I’d probably be a pretty cool grandmare.”

“Mooom!” Sunset protested. She thought for a moment. “Okay, yeah… You would make for a cool grandmare.” Sunset turned and winked at Shining. “And there’s maybe a certain stallion I wouldn’t mind putting a super-powered baby in me…”

Shining chuckled nervously and looked at Cadance.

“Sunset!” Twilight protested. “Shining is already married!” She looked at Celestia. “Right, Celestia?”

“…I’m not picky on who my little shimmering sunshine makes babies with, in all honesty,” she announced.

“Oh, now it’s babies!” Sunset said with a roll of her eyes.

“I am so torn right now…” Shining uttered.

Pinkie suddenly popped up from behind Shining. “Not as torn as Cadance’s vagina, right?! HI-OOOOH!”

Everyone turned to stare blankly at Pinkie.

Pinkie giggled sheepishly. “I’ll just… Just go back and stand over here…” she said as she pointed towards the gathering of her Ponyville friends.

Celestia continued, “Well, Shining seems like he’s already a great father, so…”

“Uhhh…” Rainbow Dash interjected. “You guys know Cadance is standing right here, right?”

“We know!” Sunset and Celestia said in unison.

“I mean… that’s sort of the point,” Sunset added.

Cadance grit her teeth. “Why is everypony staring at me?!”

Starlight tilted her head slightly. “Well… It’s not like you’ve said ‘no’ to any of this…”

Sunset nodded. “Right! And you’re the Princess of Love, Cadance! I mean… if anyone should have an answer here, it’s you.”

“I’m thinking about it, okay?!” Cadance exclaimed. “I mean, Sunset has been back in my life for all of two days and I’m still getting used to not being terrified of her!”

Sunset grinned. “Still not a ‘noooo’…” she purred.

“Oh, look!” Cadance interrupted, pointing behind Sunset. “Shining and Twilight’s parents are getting off the train! I’m sure they don’t want to be involved in this conversation at all!”

Spike shrugged. “Well, why don’t you ask them?”

“BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION IN FRONT OF THEM!” snapped Cadance.

“Second,” Twilight and Shining said in unison.

“Ahhh man…” Sunset said dejectedly.

A light blue unicorn stallion with a combed dark blue mane and a gray unicorn mare with a purple mane with white stripes through it trotted up smiling. The blue unicorn spoke up, “You would not believe the crazy weather that delayed our train. Came out of nowhere.”

“Uh, hello to you, too?” Sunset said in a confused tone.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Mom, Dad, this is Sunset Shimmer. Sunset, this is Night Light and Twilight Velvet.”

Sunset smiled sweetly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

Twilight Velvet smiled widely. “Twilight! You didn’t mention your new friendship student was an alicorn!”

Sunset’s smile began to crack as her right eye twitched.

“Erm…” Starlight raised a forehoof. “That’s me actually. Starlight Glimmer.”

Night Light let out a laugh. “Oh, well no wonder.”

“… No wonder, what?” Sunset asked.

Night Light shrugged. “We just remembered our little Twilight having a student with a name that sounded like it was a knock-off of hers.”

Sunset’s head began to quake as she clamped down on her teeth, her smile turning uneven and jagged. “I’m… older than Twilight… and… and…”

Applejack quickly galloped up and began to drag Sunset a little bit away. “Why don’tcha stand over here with us, sugarcube.” Applejack said.

“…Urge to kill rising…” Sunset muttered as she was escorted away.

Nervously, Twilight stepped in between Sunset and her parents. “Sunset is Celestia’s adopted daughter.”

“Really?” Twilight Velvet said. “Oh, right! I remember!”

Sunset let out a sigh of relief.

Night Light nodded. “Right! Didn’t the papers used to call her the ‘terror tyke of Canterlot Castle’?”

Twilight and Cadance froze on the spot and nervously looked over their shoulders, however, Sunset merely let out a groan and let her forelegs slowly slip out in all directions as she lowered herself to the ground with a dejected look. “Well… at least somepony remembers who I am,” Sunset said in a miserable tone as Rarity and Fluttershy walked up to give her a few supportive pats on the back.

Celestia smiled down at Sunset. “Perhaps if you stick around you’ll be given ample opportunity to repair your tarnished reputation.” She leaned down. “I’ll even let you pick what you’re the princess of!”

“What?! No fair!” Twilight exclaimed.

Everypony turned towards Twilight.

“Erm… I mean… Friendship is Magic!”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, d’uuuh!” She giggled. “Not like we forgot the name of the thing we were in or anything.”

Cadance put on a ponderous expression. “You know, despite all the strange advancements made on my husband and, I guess, me by proxy, I still really like being the Princess of Love.”

“Okay, fine,” Celestia said with a nod. “Sunset can either pick her own title or let me do it for her.” Celestia looked down. “How does ‘Princess of Cuddles’ sound?”

The baby let out a delighted burble.

Sunset glared up at Celestia. “Mom… I’m going to get up. We’re going to hug. Say our emotionally charged goodbyes, and then you’re going to leave without saying another word about me staying. Otherwise, I can’t be held responsible for the many, many deaths I might cause.”

Celestia sighed. “Just like your Freshman Homecoming dance…”

Sunset got up to her hooves. “Moooooom…” she growled in a warning tone.

“Very well, Sunset,” Celestia opened her wings and extended a foreleg.

Sunset trotted forward, and wrapped her forelegs around Celestia’s neck and wrapped Celestia’ body with her wings as Celestia enveloped Sunset with her foreleg and own wings. “You’ll always be my little shimmering sunshine,” Celestia said.

“I know, mom,” Sunset replied with a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

A series of “D’awwww”s escaped the mouths of the watching ponies as mother and daughter held on tightly for a little bit before parting.

Sunset sniffled and wiped a tear away from her eye. “Okay, now please leave.”

“… Are you sure you can’t stay for just a—”

Sunset’s horn suddenly lit up with turquoise energy that gave way to fiery orange that flickered with dangerous intent. “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Okay! I’ll write you soon!” Celestia said as she took flight. “Remember to come visit!”

“I will, mom!” Sunset said as she waved a forehoof about. She turned. “Right… What were we talking about rather than getting on the horrible train of despair?”

“Uh…” Night Light put on a thoughtful look. “I was talking about the crazy weather that delayed us and how unbelievable it was.”

Twilight Velvet nodded. “Oh my, yes. Just awful.”

“We all almost died!” Sunset replied without missing a beat. “For weather-related reasons… so yeah… I think we’d believe it.”

Twilight groaned and raised a forehoof to her face. “Oh… Sunset…”

“What?!” Sunset protested. “Your parents deserve to know the truth! Plus, you and your brother have fought ancient evils and stuff! I’m sure they’re over the fact that you two can be killed by some magical monstrosity at literally any time!”

Twilight frowned. “Well… I guess it does happen sort of a lot.”

Twilight Velvet began to mumble to herself. “Every night I fall asleep crying, and every morning I wake up scared that my children are already dead…” she said quietly.

“What was that, mom?” Shining asked.

“Nothing, sweetie!” Twilight Velvet replied with a smile. “Anyways, it was all worth it to see this peaceful little angel!” she exclaimed as she trotted up to the baby who was happily sucking on a forehoof. “Awww, so sweet! Come to your grandmare!”

The baby cooed and delight and reached for Twilight Velvet.

“Yeah… Peaceful now, anyway,” Applejack quipped.

Pinkie swallowed. “But for how long…”

The baby suddenly twitched its nose, closed its eyes, and began a few uneven exhales.

“HIT THE DECK!” Spike shouted.

Spike, Twilight and crew quickly kissed floor along with Starlight and Sunburst as Cadance and Shining Armor froze with petrified expressions. Night Light and Twilight Velvet simple stood confused as Sunset gleefully zipped forward and pointed the baby in a ‘trainward’ direction.

“Achew!”

Sunset frowned heavily. “Where’s the kaboom?! There was supposed to be a train-shattering kaboom!”

Spike walked up and began to push Sunset away. “Alright, back with the others.”

“Aww…” Sunset said in a disappointed tone.

Cadance chuckled apprehensively. “Sorry… The baby’s magic is still a little… erm… unpredictable!” She motioned behind her to Sunburst. “But we have a Crystaller to help teach her magic as she grows, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“He-heh?” Sunburst replied nervously as his glasses slipped all the way off his muzzle.

Rarity leaned in close to Sunburst. “Invest in mirrors,” she whispered as she floated his glasses back onto his face with an azure glow.

Twilight Velvet smiled. “Cadance, darling,” she said as she took the baby in an amethyst glow and floated it into one of her forelegs, “aren't we gonna name the poor little dear, or are we gonna spend our entire visit just calling her ‘the baby’?”

“We did!” Sunset said dejectedly. “We spent all day just calling her ‘the baby’! It was HELL! Torturous, unrelenting HELL for an entire day! Worse than the train! Worst part of the whole adventure!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Even worse than the murder stor—”

“Yes!”

Starlight stepped up. “Worse than the giant block of ic—”

“YES!”

Pinkie took a deep breath. “Worse than the surprise meeting of your mother who you’ve been estranged from for more than thirty moons with absolutely no contact after your banishment even though all it would take to talk to her would be for either of you to pick up a pen and write in a single book?!”

“… Okay, it’s tied then,” Sunset said.

Cadance glanced at Sunset then turned back to Twilight Velvet and smiled. “We were thinking… ‘Flurry Heart’”, she said, briefly crossing her horn with Shining’s.

Shining Armor grinned. “You know… After the ice cream.”

Sunset stared at the two parents blankly for a moment. “… Are you two sure you got enough sleep?”

Twilight Sparkle gave Flurry Heart a smooch on the cheek. “I think it’s lovely.”

Sunset glanced at the spot Twilight was at just moments before. “… How the heck did you get all the way over there and past Cadance and Shining, Twilight? You were just…” Sunset’s head began to slowly turn to the train, a horn full of magic on top of her head and death in her eyes.

Starlight placed a foreleg on one of Sunburst’s shoulders. “Well, I think you're the Crystal Empire's big important wizard, whether you like it or not.”

“Still not a thing!” Sunset called out in an annoyed tone.

Sunburst glanced at Sunset then back to Starlight. “I don't know if I'll have time for any wizarding,” he said with a pink hue in his cheeks. “I'm a crystaller now. That's a big responsibility.” Sunburst frowned slightly. “A very dangerous responsibility.”

“Hey…HEY!” Sunset called out. “You two should kiss!”

Twilight leaned over to favor Starlight and Sunburst with a wide smile and a nod.

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Well, I can’t think of anypony more qualified.” Starlight glanced away trepidatiously for a moment. “Just… promise you’ll keep in touch?”

Sunburst hummed thoughtfully. “Like I’d ever lose touch with my oldest friend,” he said as he and Starlight embraced.

“HAH! Oh, snap!” Sunset exclaimed.

Sunburst and Starlight looked over at Sunset in confusion.

“What?” Starlight asked.

Sunset frowned. “The thing Sunburst said?”

“Erm, what about it?” Starlight replied.

“I mean…” Sunset stared at Starlight and Sunburst in disbelief. “The whole reason for Starlight going off the deep end… her losing contact with you… You… You… you actually said that sentence without thinking of the irony at all?!”

“Sunset,” Starlight said, “what are you talking about?”

“But… but… OH, BUCK THIS! BUCK ALL OF THIS!”

Spike nervously walked up to Sunset. “Uh… Sunset… Maybe you’d feel better sitting in the train…”

“BUCK THE TRAIN, SPIKE! BUCK EVERYPONY!” Sunset took a deep, calming breath. “Everypony, I’m sorry… You’re all my friends and I hope to see you all again soon, but seriously… buck this noise! If I had hands right now, I’d be sharing a couple digits with all of you!” Sunset looked up at the sky. “Screw that bucking train! I’m flying back to Ponyville!”

“Sunset?” Twilight said as she trotted up to the irate mare. “There’s no way you can fly all the way to Ponyville.”

“BUCKING WATCH ME!” Sunset screamed as she suddenly took flight.

Everyone silently looked up and watched Sunset ascend upwards.

“ACHEW!”

Without warning, there was a brief blinding bolt of energy and a train engulfed in flames.

Everypony stared down at the train with wide, terrified eyes as Flurry Heart let out a few quiet coos and cuddled up to her grandmare.

Sunset descended back to the ground. “So um… I was thinking… Maybe I can come back to be the ‘hot babysitter’ like… once a month? Every other weekend? Yay or Nay?” Sunset looked over the still stunned expressions. “Seeing some ‘yay’ faces over here.”

Cadance looked over at Sunburst. “You still have that scroll?”

Sunburst reached into his cloak and produced a slightly battered scroll. “Yes, right here.”

“I’ll take it,” Cadance said.

“DANG IT!” Sunset exclaimed.

-ooooo-

“Ow. Ow. Ow…” Rarity moaned while rubbing her horn. “My delicate horn was not made for this at all.”

“I know, Rarity,” Twilight said as she trotted up to her friend. “But we need to keep moving if we’re going to get back to Ponyville at a reasonable time.”

“STARLIGHT!” Sunset said in a chastising tone as she banged a hoof on the stone ground. “A transportation circle! TRANSPORTATION circle!”

Starlight looked down at the wide smoking circle in the ground with a five-point star carved into it, her own horn radiating heat. “What? That’s a transportation circle!” she said, motioning downwards with a forehoof.

“Yeah, for DEMONS!” Sunset countered.

“Summoning is a type of transportation!” Starlight countered.

“WE’RE NOT SUMMONING A DEMON TO GET US BACK TO PONYVILLE, STARLIGHT!” Sunset snapped.

Starlight put on a sour look and crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. “We never get to do what I want to do…”

Rarity let out another moan and fell to the ground. “Twilight, I simply can’t do this again. Can’t we just break and enjoy the falls?”

Twilight let out a huff. “Just one or two more teleportations and we’ll be home!”

“But my hooorn!” Rarity whined out.

“Gee, Rarity,” Spike said, wandering up. “You look like you’ve put in a full day’s work already.”

Rarity sniffled slightly. “And no ice cream to make me feel better…”

“Uh… You know… I can make you feel better…”

Rarity sighed. “Spike. While I applaud your bravado, especially in such a romantic place like Neighagara Falls, now is not the time or place for—”

Spike reached over with his claws and began to gently caress Rarity’s horn. Rarity’s eyes rolled back into her head and she let out a content moan.

Twilight regarded the display with an unamused look.

Spike chuckled. “Yeah… You like that, don’t you?”

“Oh, yes Spike…” Rarity purred. “That’s the spot… Don’t stop…”

Twilight shook her head. “Ugh… We’d probably be home right now if we didn’t go back to that castle for that stupid award ceremony…”

“Whaaaaat?!” Pinkie protested. “Cadance pushed that entire baby out of her vagina, Twilight! Both her AND her crazy stretchy vagina deserved awards!”

Fluttershy trotted up. “And the remembrance part for the tub of butter was really touching.”

“Okay,” Twilight huffed out, “but did you have to give my brother a participation award?!”

Pinkie shrugged. “It was the least I could do.”

“It was literally the least you could do,” Sunset said as she trotted up, the other mares present gathering around.

Twilight frowned as she looked at friends. “Rainbow Dash, don’t you want to show up tomorrow to clear the skies of Ponyville?”

“What, honestly?” Rainbow Dash said. “Not really.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned towards Applejack. “Don’t you have farm work?”

Applejack shrugged. “Eh… Big Mac and Apple Bloom can hold out for one more day. Ah mean… stressin’ about it ain’t gonna help nopony.”

Twilight groaned and turned towards Sunset. “Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Yes. I even have a test…” she smiled to herself. “Oh! In History! Actual, real history that I’ve studied for and not made up history that gets interrupted by weird, psychological telling sex dreams.”

Rarity let out a soft moan.

“Oh… Okay?” Twilight replied. “Erm… Shouldn’t we be trying to get you home for that?”

Sunset shrugged. “I’m acing all my classes and everyone knows I’m a magical pony from another dimension. I mean… I’ve built and programmed my own devices and computers to try to measure magic, Twilight! Heck, even with me almost destroying the school, I’ve saved it twice so the faculty tends to cut me some slack.”

“Well, I have work tomorrow!” Pinkie said. “And I’d hate to leave the Cakes on their lonesome an extra day! Plus, I have a newfound respect for how relatively little of a hoofful Pound and Pumpkin are. Still, being a parent must be hard work! Ooo! Ooo! Speaking of hard work, you four must be hungry!” Pinkie began distributing white cupcakes with light blue frosting to all the unicorns, leaving one sitting next to Rarity who seemed quite oblivious to what was going on around her at the moment.

Sunset eyed her cupcake suspiciously. “Pinkie… Did you bake these with…?”

Pinkie smiled. “The brain pills I mentioned I gave to everypony way back in chapter 2? Nopers! They’re fresh straight from Sugarcube Corner!”

Sunset closed her eyes hard. “All of the things you just said have made me very angry, Pinkie.” She opened her eyes. “But I’m also hungry! Still, this better be the best damn cupcake I ever had!” Sunset took a bite, chewing with a calculating expression as she looked at Pinkie. She swallowed. “You got lucky!”

Pinkie giggle snorted as she passed around a few more baked goods to the group, leaving a small pile by Spike and Rarity who seemed quite engaged in the moment.

Starlight raised an eyebrow at Spike and Rarity. “Should we just… just let this happen? I mean… How old is Spike mentally in pony years?”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t know… And you know what? I don’t even care anymore.” She shook her head. “Let’s just go into town and find a hotel to book into or something.”

The other ponies present let out a few jubilant cries as they wandered off leaving an engrossed Spike to the hornjob he was enthusiastically giving Rarity.

Sunset quickly wolfed down muffin as she walked. “Okay, but that was weird, right?”

“Spike and Rarity?” Twilight replied. “Maybe? Heck… Who knows what those two do behind closed doors.”

“That sounds mildly irresponsible of you, Twilight,” Sunset quipped. “But I meant… Giant storm and ice block aside, all that back at the castle and the train and just all the wackiness of ponies stating the obvious for a day… Just… Weird, right?”

The other ponies present exchanged glances and shrugged.

“Ugh…” Sunset said. “Yet another reason while I should go home for a bit.”

“Erm… is it less weird there?” Fluttershy asked.

“Uh, I guess?” Sunset replied. “I mean… It’s weird, but… different weird… I’m not on trial here!”

“Shhhh!” Applejack quickly put a forehoof up to Sunset’s mouth. “Ah can smell dishonesty…”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “How can you smell dishonesty? And why would you have to—”

Everypony shushed Sunset.

“Right, right… Shutting up…”

“Hehehe… Another haul, eh, brother of mine?” a masculine voice quipped from the other side of some nearby foliage.

The mares all began to creep quietly towards the source of the voice.

“You said it, Flim!” replied another stallion’s voice. “Ponies just can’t get enough of these brain pills.”

“Right you are, Flam! Too bad they actually impede intelligence and merely being around them, much like we are right now, makes a pony uncontrollably exposition every little thing they’re doing!”

“Indeed, Flam, indeed. Oh, well! Let’s just put away these pills so we can continue making tons of bits from the unexpecting Ponies of Equestria.”

“Of course, Flim. Say, brother, you seem to be surrounded by a bunch of angry mares, including that Princess Twilight!”

“Why, Flam. I was just about to tell you that it looks like Applejack and some sort of orange alicorn with a murderous look in her eyes are standing right behind you!”

Sunset cocked her head slightly. “Hello Flim… Flam… Have you two ever been on a trip together?”

“Madam,” the mustachioed brother Flam replied, “my brother and I have toured the world selling our dubious merchandise to as many suckers as will pay for them!”

“He’s right!” Flim said. “But he probably shouldn’t have said such an incriminating sounding sentence amidst royalty, and I definitely should not have corroborated it!!”

A smile dripping with ill intent began to form on Sunset’s face as her lips slithered away from each other. “Have you two ever been… to the moon?”

“… I’m scared, Flam,” Flim said as he took a step away from Sunset, pressing his back against his brothers as the circle of mares with angry and crazed looks on their faces closed in.

Flam stood oddly resolute and stalwart despite the impending doom surrounding him. He wrapped a foreleg around Flim. “Be strong brother. We knew this day would come.”

The End

Author's Note

Thanks for reading everyone! This was definitely a ride that probably no one, including myself, expected to take, but thanks for making it to the end.

See you in the comments and future stories! :pinkiehappy:

Chapter 1: Replacement Light Purple Friendfish

Author's Note

Blog post about this project here for anyone wondering why I decided to write this or just what I was thinking.

Enjoy! :twilightsmile:

Chapter 1: Replacement Light Purple Friendfish

Chapter 1: Replacement Light Purple Freindfish

Sunset Shimmer, cheeks red, smile embarrassed, stood in a long hallway of Twilight’s castle, identical crystalline doors flanking her and a gushing light purple unicorn mare with a dark purple mane that had a light blue stripe through it standing in front of her.

“Er… Seriously…” Sunset said sheepishly. “This is so not a big deal…”

“Not a big deal?!” Starlight exclaimed. “You’re an alicorn! I mean… When Twilight told me she knew someone else she had helped with friendship that was coming to help me, I had no idea it was another alicorn!”

Sunset rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof. “Well, the alicorn thing is new… Like really, really new, and… not to put her down or anything, but ‘helped’ might be giving Twilight just a little too much credit. It’s more she and our friends, though they weren’t my friends at the time, blasted me with magic, rainbow friendship rays until I was no longer a demon. Then Twilight said I deserved a second chance then sort of foisted me on our friends in that parallel world…” Sunset smiled. “Twilight’s great and all, but really it’s my other friends who deserve the credit for what I learned about friendship.”

-ooooooo-<

Rarity placed her hands onto Sunset Shimmer’s shoulders, gripping her leather jacket tightly as she stared deeply into the fiery-haired woman’s eyes. “Alright Sunset Shimmer, I’m not going to tell you this is going to be easy, because let’s face it. It’s not. The entire school hates you!”

“With good reason!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she held a pie tin.

“I hate you!”

“With good reason!” Pinkie added cheerfully.

Sunset puffed out her lower lip into a sad pout as Rarity continued.

“I mean, you made my life a living hell for the better part of a semester and turned all my best friends against each other and me in the process! You should feel lucky I’m not trying to dress you in polka dots and stripes!”

“YEAH!” Applejack chimed in angrily as she stormed up to Sunset Shimmer. She held an accusatory index finger under Sunset’s chin. “All fer what?! Another crown?! A trophy?! What?!”

Sunset shrunk a bit in Rarity’s grasp. “Er… The Spring Fling champion gets a plaque actually…”

“Well good for you!” Applejack said angrily. “Was it all worth it?!”

Sunset gulped. “Not at this particular moment, no.”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash piped up. “I have plaque for you right here!” She said as she handed Sunset Shimmer a piece of paper.

Sunset frowned. “This isn’t really a plaque as just a piece of…” Sunset whimpered as she read the paper which only contained the phrase ‘U SUK!’ “Okay… yeah… I see what’s happening here.”

“Do you darling?!” Rarity said as her forehead tightened. “Do you really?!”

“Erm… Uh… Sunset Shimmer?”

Sunset winced as the mousy girl with the pink hair addressed her. “Uh… Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Er… Well… since everyone is sharing how they feel about you, I just wanted to say I want to strip you naked, cover you with wet cat food, and watch as a bunch of shelter cats eat and lick it all off of you.”

“… WHAT?!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Fluttershy! EW!” Pinkie cried.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack yelled.

“What the heck, Shy?!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

Rarity turned towards Fluttershy. “Fluttershy dear, I know we’re all mad at Sunset Shimmer, but that’s just going a little bit too far.”

Fluttershy’s face turned beet red as she looked over Sunset Shimmer and her friends. “Er… Right...” she said timidly. “Mad…”

Pinkie Pie suddenly skipped up to Sunset. “Don’t worry Sunset! Twilight told us all to teach you about friendship and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!”

Sunset gave Pinkie a small smile. “Thanks Pinkie Pie. Look everyone, I’m really sorry about—”

Pinkie Pie suddenly thrust her huge collection of curls against Sunset’s cheek. “Don’t worry about all that right now!” She said with a beaming smile. “The important thing is I made you a mud pie!” She said as she thrust the pie under Sunset’s face.

Sunset looked down at the pie as her expression sank. “This is literally mud, isn’t it?”

Pinkie clenched her teeth together as her brow tightened. “Eat the pie!” she said in an angry tone.

<-ooooooo->

“Uh… Sunset?” Starlight said in an unsure tone. “Sunset Shimmer?”

“Hmm…?” Sunset shook her head as if she was trying to shake away a heavy fog. “Sorry… just… remembering something… How long was I out for?”

“Er… About a minute.”

Sunset cringed. “That bad, huh?”

Starlight Glimmer smiled. “It’s fine! I’m just so lucky to have two alicorns teaching me about friendship! I still can’t believe Twilight is making friendship lessons just for me, teaching me personally about friendship, and letting me live with her!”

Sunset’s left eye twitched. “Me, neither!” she said with a forced smile.

“Oh, but I don’t want to think I’m not grateful for you too, Sunset!” Starlight’s ears flopped down around her head as she stared at the hallway floor. “I’m just really lucky I haven’t been banished or even locked up in Tartarus with all the stuff I pulled.”

Sunset smiled. “Hey, if any pony can relate to almost destroying the world because they thought they were doing the right thing, it’s me.” Sunset’s smile turned a bit sheepish. “I mean… I turned into a demon trying to turn myself into an alicorn and almost started a war with Equestria…” She chuckled as she turned to look at her wings. “Who’d have thought I’d do that accidentally while trying to save my friends?” Shaking her head, Sunset turned back to Glimmer. “Guess some things just have to happen naturally instead of someone trying to selfishly do the right thing.”

Smiling, Glimmer gulped. “Well… I mean, trying to destroy cutie marks for Equality was sorta trying to do the right thing… All the horrible different worlds that happened because of time travel was just because I wanted revenge.”

Sunset paused awkwardly for a moment. “… So in any of those worlds Twilight went to, did she ever mention one ruled by an evil me, or good me? Or heck… even a morally ambiguous me? No? Demon? World ruled by a demon? No…? Right, no… that’s fine.”

Starlight chuckled to herself nervously. “Well… I’m glad Twilight sent for someone who can really relate to my problem.”

“Oh, actually this was my idea,” Sunset said. “Hehehe… Twilight told me about you and I offered to help… Ha ha ha!” Sunset grit her teeth. “I’m honestly not sure why she didn’t suggest that in the first place. HeheheHAHAHA!”

“Uh…Why’s that funny?”

“I HAVE to laugh otherwise I’ll start crying! HeheheheHAHAHAHA!”

“Er…” Starlight nodded down the hallway with an awkward smile on her face. “Maybe you can help me find the library?”

Sunset looked down the hallway of identical doors. “Wow, this place is huge.”

Starlight nodded. “I know! It looks a lot smaller on the outside!”

Sunset chuckled. “Maybe Twilight is secretly a Time Lady…”

Starlight frowned. “I was the one who caused all the time travel stuff… remember?”

“Uh… Never mind!” Sunset said with a slightly embarrassed smile. “Sorta forgot what world I was on for a second there.”

“Sure, sure…” Starlight said with a smile. “Maybe it’s this door?” she asked in unsure tone as she opened the nearest door with her magic.

Inside Spike was brushing his teeth with a band around his head keeping his fins back and a towel around his waist. Spike turned with a smile. “Hi, girls!”

“Hi, Spike!” Sunset greeted cheerfully.

“Whoops!” Starlight said as she closed the door.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Problem?”

“He’s brushing his teeth while wearing a towel!”

“Uh… yeah?” Sunset said. “So?”

“And it’s uh… embarrassing?”

“For who, exactly?”

The door opened, revealing Spike who was still wearing the towel and headband. “You two know I can hear everything you say, right?”

“Eek!” Starlight cried as she dove behind Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset glanced at Starlight then turned to Spike. “Right but…” She smiled. “Guess I’m just used to seeing you as a dog where you don’t wear any clothes.”

“Oh, I don’t usually wear clothes here, either.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow and took another glance at Starlight. “Oh… okay?”

“Yep!” Spike said as he removed his towel and used it to dry the area under his tail. “I’m all natural, baby!”

“Aaah!” Starlight cried as she covered her eyes with a forehoof.

Sunset crossed her eyes and looked upwards with a slightly vexed expression. “Okay… yeah… sure… er… Could you point us towards the library?” she asked with a smile. “All the doors look the same, and there's no signs or anything.” Sunset rolled her eyes. “If only we knew someone who enjoyed making things clear and organized to the point of obsession who would take care of this.”

“Huh…” Spike uttered. “Well, in Twilight’s defense… She, uh… hmmm…” Spike rubbed his chin with a claw, letting his towel fall to the floor.“Seethere was a couple times the map made her butt vibrate and… er… she's been… been… something, something books...Yeah, I got nothing,” he said with a shrug. Spike pointed at a nearby door. “The library is right there!”

Sunset chuckled. “Thanks, Spike!” she replied.

“Anytime, ladies!” Spike said with a wave as he walked back into the bathroom and closed the door.

Starlight lifted the forehoof off her eyes. “Is he… is he gone?”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yes, Spike in his slightly moister, less nude than usual glory is back in the bathroom.”

“I can still hear yooooou~!” Spike replied through the door.

“That’s fiiiine~!” Sunset replied.

“Let’s… let’s just go see Twilight, “ Starlight said with flushed cheeks.

“Sure!” Sunset said as she walked towards the library door and opened it with a turquoise glow of her horn.

Inside, Twilight was busily writing on a long list with a quill. “Acceptance, mm-hmm. Altruism, definitely.” She looked towards the door as Sunset and Starlight walked in. “Sunset, Starlight, good morning, come in!”

“Good morning, Twilight,” Sunset said with a smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” Starlight said. “I got a little turned around… I still can’t believe you’re letting me stay here… as your pupil… after everything I did!”

With a slightly askew smile, Sunset’s entire head twitched. “Me too…”

Starlight turned towards Sunset with sad eyes and a puffed out lip.

“Er… I mean… we’re both so lucky that Twilight is soooo forgiving!” Sunset turned towards Twilight. “Right?”

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Of course! I’m not one to dwell on the past…”

Sunset did her best to hold onto her somewhat twisted smile as images of Sunset offering Twilight her hand when Twilight first returned to Canterlot High flashed through Sunset’s head. A sound like a gunshot rang through her mind as she remembered Twilight hesitating to grab the hand.

“… and neither should you, Starlight. The castle is your home now…”

Sunset felt a shooting pain in her head as another mental gunshot went off.

“… and as for being my pupil goes, I was just trying to figure out what your first friendship lesson should be.”

And yet another shot rang out as Sunset’s right eye began twitching erratically.

Starlight looked at the scroll Twilight was working on. “Oh, well, it looks like you’re really narrowing it down!”

“Oh, these are just the A's,” Twilight answered. “After this, I move on to the B's!” she said as she motioned to table loaded with papers and scrolls.

Starlight cringed then forced a smile as he ears flopped down around her head.

Sunset shook her head hard before she stared at the table. “You’re… you’re making up friendship lessons by going through the dictionary and picking words that teach people to be nice?!”

“Well, sure!” Twilight answered cheerfully. “I mean… How did you learn about friendship?”

Sunset thought for a moment.

-oooooo-<

“Store-brand fish flakes?!” Sunset cried angrily as she waved a canister of fish flakes around. “STORE-BRAND FISH FLAKES?! OKAY, SURE! I’LL JUST GET THESE AND WRITE LITTLE SUNNY A NOTE THAT SAYS MOMMY DOESN’T LOVE HIM AND THEN GET HIM A TINY FISH-SIZED, WATERPROOF GUN SO HE CAN SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ANIMALS!”

A pair of yellow hands and a tuft of pink hair stuck out from the pet store counter, their owner clearly shaking as they hid. Small sobs that quickly turned into powerful wails soon poured out of the fearful store clerk.

“Oh, geez!” Sunset said with a cringe. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy!” She said as she held her palms in front of her. “I was just… adlibbing and guess I got a little personal there.”

“Whouhaaaahouaaaaahouaaaaaaa…!”

“Sunset?” Rarity called out. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm for this project and the emotional energy you’re bringing, your line is ‘Store-brand fish flakes? What is this, Communist North Korea?’”

“…houaaaaaaahouaaaaa….”

“Rarity! That doesn’t make any sense!” Sunset cried as she threw her hands into the air. “I mean… What do pet stores, fish food, and North Korea have to do with each other?!”

“…houaaaaaaahouaaaaa….”

“Trust me, darling! It’ll knock them dead! Fluttershy dear, stop crying.”

“…houaaaaaaa…O-okay…” Fluttershy said weakly.

“Alright everyone,” Rarity said. “Let’s try it again…”

Sunset sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is going to be the worst play ever…”

<-oooooo->

“Trial and error?” Sunset replied. “I mean, I’m no princess of friendship but real world experience seemed to do the trick for me.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Wow. What a convenient method that doesn’t require taking meticulous notes on everything.”

“Uh, sorry?” Sunset replied. “But I mean… Real life usually isn’t structured enough for a list of instructions. Surely this method has fallen short for you before…”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, several times. Usually involving friendship.”

“Okay, then why are—”

“I’M NOT READY TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE LISTS DON’T SOLVE EVERYTHING!” Twilight cried.

Sunset took a few steps back from Twilight as her ears flopped down around her head. “Er… Alright, Starlight. Why don’t you take a turn talking to Twilight?”

“Erm… Twilight?” Starlight said inquisitively. “I know I'm just learning about friendship, but I didn't think there were this many lessons for anything. How do we choose?”

Sunset raised a forehoof. “I suggest we burn it down and start all over.”

Twilight shot Sunset a dirty look then turned back towards Starlight, putting a smile back on her face. “Maybe I should pare things down a bit before we go through them. Why don't you two join the others in the throne room? They're planning our trip to the Crystal Empire when Shining Armor and Princess Cadance have their baby!”

Sunset put on the fakest smile she could muster. “Well golly gee, Twilight! Thanks for that stunning bit of exposition! I’m sure glad you summed up that information and spoon fed it to us as if we didn’t already know or couldn’t figure out what was going on from talking to anypony!”

Twilight silently glowered at Sunset.

“That was sarcasm by the way. Guess you have quite a few letters before you get to that one.”

Starlight’s apprehensive eyes darted fearfully between Sunset and Twilight as she took a couple steps back from Sunset.

Twilight sighed. “Are you going to be like this the entire day?”

Sunset shook her head. “No, I expect things to get much worse as the day goes on.”

“Ugh!” Twilight cried. “Look is this about how I didn’t come to help you against that other me? Because I already told you I was busy jumping through different timelines, each one worse than the last, and—”

Starlight’s ears flopped down around her head as her eyes went glassy and she let out a whimper.

“Oh, sorry, Starlight!” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean—”

“Wow, Twilight, good going there,” Sunset said.

“Sunset…” Twilight growled out in a warning tone.

“Just… just throw your new friend and friendship student under the bus! Beep! Beep! Princess of Friendship coming through! SPLAT!”

“Sunset, would you please just go to the throne—”

“Nice,” Sunset practically hissed out.

“PLEASE! Just go to the throne ro—”

“Realnice!”

“SUNSET!”

“WHAT?!”

“THRONE ROOM!” Twilight ordered while she pointed towards the door to the library.

“FINE!” Sunset let the anger drop from her face as she turned to look at Starlight. “So… which way to the throne room?”

“I erm… I don’t know…” Starlight said sheepishly.

“… What?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Didn’t you like… Set a trap for Twilight there and just wait for her to show up?! How can you not know where the throne room is?! I mean… Okay… all the hallways and doors look exactly the same, but you spent months stalking her as I understand. I figured you’d have made your own map or blue prints or something…”

Starlight swallowed. “Well I… I… sorta just… just… I-just-floated-myself-up-to-the-open-balcony-and-got-in-that-way-and-I’m-sorry!”

Sunset stared blankly at Starlight for a moment. “Sorry? To which one of us?”

“Uhh… both?”

Sunset turned towards Twilight. “You just leave the balcony doors open?”

“Why wouldn’t I?!” Twilight asked indignantly. “The weather is almost always nice in Ponyville!”

“… You leave the doors open because the weather is nice?! Aren’t you… I don’t know… concerned for your wellbeing as a princess?”

“Why? What could possibly happen?”

“Uh… Irate earth pony throws a boulder at you? Mad pegasus with a machete? One of the many unicorns you’ve apparently run afoul of decides to get revenge?”

Twilight shook her head. “Something like that just wouldn’t happen!”

-ooooooo-<

Sitting in their thrones, each perusing their preferred reading material, Twilight Sparkle and Spike the Dragon enjoyed a nice, quiet, peaceful Ponyville day as the gentle sounds of birds singing wafted in from the open balco—

‘ZORT!’

With a purple flash, Twilight’s hair suddenly changed color into a lime-green tangled mess.

“HAH! TAKE THAT TWILIGHT!”An angry feminine voice called out. “KNOW THAT YOU SUFFER SHAME BY THE HORN OF THE GRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE!”

Spike glanced up from his comic book as Twilight’s horn glowed purple and a page of her own book turned.

“YES! IT WAS I, TRIXIE WHO… who… PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!”

Spike sighed. “Twilight, your mane is an eye searing shade of green.”

“That’s great, Spike,” Twilight said casually.

“TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! I’M ROOTING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE CANS AS WE SPEAK, TWILIGHT! WHY AREN’T YOU COMING OUT HERE TO STOP TRIXIE?!”

Spike sighed. “You’re not listening at all, are you?”

“Wow, Spike! That sounds pretty amazing!” Twilight said without looking up from her book.

Spike shook his head, closed his comic book, and put it on the table. “Right, so I’m going to keep eating the west wing of the castle.” He began mumbling to himself as he walked off, “I mean… this is sort of like living in a giant gingerbread house for me…”

“Sounds great, Spike! Count me in!”

“CURSE YOUR KISSABLE MOUTH, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”

<-ooooooo->

“Fine! Whatever!” Sunset snapped she began walking out of the room. “I guess we’ll just go outside and then let ourselves into the balcony.” She unfurled her wings. “At least I get to try using these… Come on Starlight.”

“Uh… sure…” Starlight said in an unsure tone as she followed Sunset.

Twilight took a calming deep breath as the other two mares trotted out. “Okay… see you soon Starlight Shimmer.”

Sunset stopped dead in her tracks and turned to fire off another glare at Twilight. “Wow. Really?”

Chapter 4: Please Point out on This Doll Where the Last Chapter Touched You

Chapter 4: Please Point Out On this Doll Where the Last Chapter Touched You

Starlight Glimmer stared out the train window with a worried, borderline panicking expression on her face. While the chugged onwards to the Crystal Empire in the distance, passed snow-dusted fields dotted with massive, almost cylindrical-shaped crystals that jutted up from the ground, and snow-covered mountain tops in the distance, her thoughts were far away from what was around her and more concerned about where she was going. Or rather, her thoughts focused on who she was traveling to, namely her childhood friend Sunburst. While she had been busy with her crusade against cutie marks, Sunburst had no doubt established himself as a skilled magic user and was busy inventing new spells or creating new magical items… You know… wizard stuff...

‘SLAM!’

Startled from her thoughts, Starlight turned to face the train car door which had just been opened rather violently as Sunset Shimmer stormed into the passenger car. Pinkie followed Sunset in, her head hung low with a dejected look on her face as she started at the vibrant green carpet with a swirling design of lighter shades of green.

“Ooooo!” Pinkie uttered as her expression brightened. “Piece of candy!” she said as she pulled a sticky, half-melted piece of candy off the train car floor and stuck in her mouth.

Sunset let out a disgusted grunt as she jumped onto one of the beige bench seats behind Starlight and Twilight, throwing her back against the shared translucent, green divider of soft swirling glass. Next to Starlight, Twilight seemingly took no notice of the noise from the door, Sunset’s appearance, or Pinkie’s willingness to eat unwrapped candy from the floor. Twilight simply continued to look at a book with a picture of a baby bottle on the front which she floated in front of her with a purple glow.

Also within the train car with its wood grain walls and baby-blue ceiling, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy had turned to stare at the new arrivals to the train car from the other side of the walkway. Rarity and Fluttershy shared a bench seat as Applejack sat next to an item about the size of a pony which was under a sheet topped with a red bow. Napping on the other side of a green divider from Applejack, one of Rainbow Dash’s ears simply twitched.

“Two hours!” Sunset cried as she glared at Pinkie who trotted past Sunset’s seat. “Two hours! Pinkie, if I ever hear another song about trains again, it’ll be too soon!”

Her sad and dejected look returning, Pinkie flopped down on the seat across from Starlight and Twilight and across the walkway from Rarity and Fluttershy. “But I still had 87 songs about trains to sing!” She bemoaned.

Sunset let out a groan as she closed her eyes and massaged her right temple with a forehoof. “Pinkie, not everypony wants to spend their entire train trip singing about being on a train!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened fearfully. “No, Sunset Shimmer! I’m not ready to live in a world where that’s true! PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME LIVE IN THAT WORLD!” she cried shrilly as she grabbed a blue gift box wrapped with a yellow bow on the seat by her and hugged it tightly.

Rainbow Dash sat up and let out a yawn as she stretched.

Sunset sighed, shook her head, and glanced out the window. “Well, looks like we’ll be there soon. Save the next 87 for the return trip,” she turned to glare out at the other ponies in the train. “And somepony else can be on Pinkie duty for when she starts irritating and terrifying the other passengers by singing songs non-stop while firing a cannon inside a train car!” Sunset sighed and swatted at her right ear. “I swear if I go deaf because of this trip, I’m going to come back every Sunday to Equestria just to talk angrily with no volume or pitch control at all of you.”

Pinkie let out a defeated sigh and turned to slump over the division between her seat and the empty seat behind her.

Rainbow Dash turned to look at the large item next to Applejack. “Um… Applejack? What is that?” Rainbow Dash asked as she pointed at the item.

“What, really?” Sunset interjected. “You just now noticed that? It’s as big as a pony! How could you not see it when we got on the train?”

Rainbow Dash turned towards Sunset. “Twilight was talking about how stupid the population was in the Crystal Empire or something—”

Sunset closed her eyes hard and pressed a forehoof against her forehead. “Population density… She was talking about population density…”

“Right, how dense the ponies of the Crystal Empire are,” Rainbow Dash said with a nod.

Sunset’s head began to twitch in frustration as her eyes crossed. “That’s not what-sigh- never mind!”

“Anyways, I feel asleep mid-dive onto the seat here, so there you go.”

“Fine, whatever…” Sunset uttered irritably as she folded her forelegs

“So AJ,” Rainbow Dash said as she turned back towards Applejack, “what’s under the sheet?”

Applejack smiled. “Oh, just a little somethin’ for the young’un.” She grasped the blanket in her teeth and removed it, revealing wooden crib on rockers adorned with an apple design. Rarity and Fluttershy looked at the crib with interest as Applejack continued, “Made from genuine Sweet Apple Acres apple trees. We make ‘em for all the Apples, and anypony related to Twilight is practically family.” Applejack smiled warmly at Twilight who had set down her book and was smiling warmly back.

“Yeah, it’s okay…” Rainbow Dash said as she hoovered into the walkway. “But it’s no Cloudsdale mobile!” Rainbow Dash reached down and held up a mobile of clouds, rainbows, and lightning bolts.

“Ooooooo!” Pinkie Pie and Rarity said in unison.

Sunset looked down at the floor and then back up at Rainbow Dash. “Do you all just… leave stuff on the floor in the hopes that it’ll come up in conversation later? That’s the second time today somepony, or dragon, had something prepared to show everypony that was completely out of sight! And why did you just leave it on the ground without putting it in a box or wrapping it or anything?!”

“What?! I put it under a seat!” Rainbow Dash protested.

“Why wasn’t it your seat?!”

“Uh… reasons?!” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug.

Before Sunset could get another word in edgewise, Pinkie touched one of the arms of the mobile. “Pretty!” she said as she knocked an arm loose. It clattered as it hit the floor. Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a sheepish smile as the pegasus lowered her eyelids and frowned at Pinkie.

Sunset simply glared at Rainbow Dash, silently fuming.

Smiling, Applejack said, “Well a mobile is real nice… as long as you have somethin’ to lay in so you can look at it.”

With an azure glow, the apple quilt in the crib was removed as Rarity replaced it with a blanket with a purple horseshoes pattern. “Aaaand a fetching blanket to keep you warm.”

Sunset shook her head. “Did everypony bring something thematically appropriate to themselves?”

Pinkie smiled wide as she grabbed her blue gift box. “I brought the baby a tiny party cannon! Babies love cannons!”

“Well, that won’t end well…” Sunset muttered. She turned towards Fluttershy who held a stuffed bunny that looked very much like angel. “Considering the types of gifts I’m seeing, I’m surprised you didn’t bring the baby a real live animal, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, erm… I was, but Twilight said it was a bad idea to give the baby a fully-grown anaconda.”

Twilight winced. “Actually, I screamed, ‘Snake! Giant snake!’ At the top of my lungs and jumped on top of your fridge, but that was the gist of my message.”

“What?!” Sunset cried as she stared at Fluttershy. “You thought it was a good idea to get the baby a pet that might mistake it for food?!”

“Well, ‘The Whole Nine Yards’ is awfully good at hugs, but…“ Fluttershy put on a ponderous expression for a moment. “I suppose I could have picked something smaller like a king cobra with a pretty hood or… Oh! Babies like rattles, right?”

The other ponies in the train car cringed.

“A stuffed bunny is a great gift!” Sunset said with a worried smile. “I think you should just stick with that for the time being!”

Twilight shook her head. “I’m sure Shining Armor and Cadence will love all our gifts!” Twilight said happily as Starlight looked at Twilight with a small smile. “But I think they’re more happy we’ll be attending the baby’s Crystalling.’’

“Thanks, Twilight!” Sunset said, turning with a sarcastic smile. “I’m sure glad you’re here to drown us all with warm fuzzy feelings while repeating things over and over again to us that we already know!”

Twilight turned around her seat to glare at Sunset. “Really, are you done?”

“I don’t know. Are you done reminding us all of what we know we’re already doing?!”

Twilight clenched down on her teeth as she placed her face inches away from Sunset’s, the two mare’s horns practically touching as they glared intensely at each other.

Once again, Starlight Glimmer stared at the two mares fearfully as if sensing she could easily get caught in the crossfire of these two exchanging a heated verbal exchange… or violent magic exchange. She silently wondered if she should excuse herself to go use the bathroom… if she could find it.

“HEY!” Pinkie’s thrust her head down between Twilight and Sunset as the mare gripped onto the train ceiling with suction cups. Twilight, Sunset, and Starlight all leaned back in surprise at the unexpected sight of the pink mare who wasted no time saying what was on top, or currently on the bottom, of her mind. “‘You know what I can’t wait for?!’ she asked, hoping to defuse the situation before the two alicorns in the train start yelling or shooting magic at each other and maybe get every pony here hurt,” Pinkie said with a wide, knowing smile.

Sunset let out a long exhale through her nose as her expression softened and she went back to staring out the window. Starlight let out a relieved sigh, and Twilight smiled at Pinkie.

Pinkie’s suction cups gave out as she fell in between Twilight and Starlight, who again recoiled away slightly in surprise. Both the mares and Sunset looked on with concern as Pinkie fell off the seat and onto to the ground with a bouncy ‘Thump!’ The train car went silent as the group collectively stared at Pinkie who laid motionless on the ground save for a single twitching back leg.

Pinkie suddenly bolted upright. “I’m up!” she announced. Turning back towards Twilight, Sunset, and Starlight she smiled, “Ooh! I can't wait to see all that light and love make the Crystal Heart even more sparkly and shiny!”

Twilight smiled once more. "Actually, Pinkie, the Crystal Heart is an ancient and powerful relic. Without its magic, the Crystal Empire would be lost to the Frozen North."

Sunset immediately leaned over the divider, placing her head in between Twilight and Starlight’s as she glared narrowed her eyes at Twilight. “Twilight, when was it that you forgot to disseminate information to ponies without sounding like a bad infomercial where you’re reading from a cue card?!”

“Welp! I tried!” Pinkie said happily before she turned and dove under her seat. “Hit the deck everypony!” she said cheerfully.

Starlight let out a whimper as Fluttershy also hid under her and Rarity’s seat. Meanwhile, Rarity watched the two alicorns in concern as Applejack let out an exasperated sigh. Applejack shook her head at the two alicorns as Rainbow Dash watched them both with a gleeful intensity.

Twilight looked around the train car. She took stock of the expressions as her eyebrows lowered and her brow furrowed, framing her eyes in anger as she turned to glare at Sunset once more.

“What?!” Sunset protested as she extended a forehoof upwards. “You’ve been talking like a weird pamphlet on the Crystal Empire and whatever is going on today since this morning! Aside from the fact that Pinkie mentioned the Crystal Heart, there’s basically no logical bridge between what she said and your response! You either decided Pinkie’s comment shows she thinks the Crystal Heart is just some pretty bauble that sits in the middle of the Empire despite the fact she helped everypony save the Empire when it came back and should know exactly what it is…”

Pinkie poked her head up from under the train seat, leering at Twilight with narrowed eyes and her lips pursed into an accusatory expression. Twilight avoided Pinkie’s stare away with a slightly embarrassed expression.

Sunset continued, “…Or, and possibly in addition, you heard the word ‘Crystal Heart’ and decided this was yet another opportunity to sprinkle in tidbits of the Crystal Empire into our conversations. It’s like you just read a book on a new subject and every time anypony so much as whispers anything remotely related, you use it as an opportunity to steer the conversation back to the topic so everypony knows how smart you are!”

Twilight’s cheeks went from pink to red as she elected to share a very angry expression with the floor.

Sunset dropped her eyelids slightly as she smirked. “I just hit the nail right on the head, didn’t I?”

“… Maybe…” Twilight uttered in a soft, annoyed tone.

The other ponies present all let out a series of short giggles and chuckles.

Smiling, Sunset shook her head. “Twilight, we all know you’re smart… but I mean... I'm not sure what good it does me to know what the Empire's biggest export is... surprise, crystals! But I suppose I got that going for me.”

Twilight narrows her eyes as she continued to stare at the floor. "Crystals and Crystal goods!" she said indignantly. "And their largest import by volume is wheat and wheat by-products," she said with a dejected look on her face.

Still smiling, Sunset rolled her eyes as everypony let out a few more chuckles and giggles. “I’ll be sure to write that down for the test, Ms. Sparkle. Thanks.”

Twilight mumbled something incoherent about flash cards and bubble sheets as she sullenly raised her book back in front of her face.

Sunset and Starlight also elected to look out their windows.

“Aw, man!” Rainbow Dash said in a disappointed tone. “I wanted to watch an epic alicorn smackdown!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “You do realize if that happens, we’re all in the same train car, right?”

“Well, yeah!” Rainbow Dash said. “Front row seats!”

Applejack sighed and shook her head.

Rarity leaned down and peaked at Fluttershy who was still cowering. “Fluttershy, darling? I think you can come out now.”

Fluttershy removed her forelegs from her eyes. “Erm, I think maybe I’ll just stay here until we’re at the Crystal Empire, thanks.”

“Oh, hey,” Sunset piped up. “It stopped storming outside… In fact it looks like the snow is melting… “She looked towards Twilight, “Huh… I thought you wrote me that the storm was right outside the empire’s crystal borders when you fought Sombra.”

Twilight set down her book, looking at Sunset as her face lit up. “Well actually Sunset—”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “You’re about to go all encyclopedia purple on me and tell me the Crystal Heart barrier has increased in size due to the love and light the Crystal Ponies have poured into it since Cadance became their princess, or something like that right?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise. “Er… Yes… That’s actually a spot-on hypothesis… How did you know?”

Sunset sighed and turned towards Pinkie. “Pinkie, can you give me one of your long, drawn out ‘Well, d’uh’s?”

Beaming smile on her face, Pinkie poked out her head from under her seat. “Well, d’uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!”

Sunset nodded. “Thanks, Pinkie,” she turned back towards Twilight. “I just accused you of this very thing not a minute ago.”

Twilight stared at Sunset with a fuming expression on her face. “I meant how did you know about the Crystal Heart energy?!” she cried irately.

Fluttershy let out a distressed squeak as she covered her eyes with her forelegs, shaking as she continued to hide under her seat. Rainbow Dash’s smile increased as she stared at the two alicorns. Rarity and Applejack exchanged glances, then looked the empty space below a few seats as if wordlessly asking each other if maybe Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had the right idea.

“Oh… oops,” Sunset said as she looked at Twilight sheepishly. “I’m sorry, my bad… Er… it just made logical sense from what I was seeing.”

“Aww, dis!” Rainbow Dash uttered.

Twilight relaxed her neck, causing her head to tilt downwards as she let out a calming sigh. Allowing her expression to soften, she looked back up at Sunset. “But did you know—”

“Huh…” Sunset uttered as she turned to look out the window again. “That means the Crystalling also doubles as a way to expand the borders of the Empire because the population increased.”

Starlight turned to Sunset with a look of interest. “That makes a lot of sense because the ritual is done after a pony is born in the empire! Wow… that’s actually really clever if it was done by design!”

Sunset nodded. “I know, right?” She turned to Twilight. “I’m sorry, Twilight… I didn’t mean to interrupt. You were about to tell me something?”

Twilight held her sets of teeth clenched together hard. Her lips seemingly caught up in a war between a smile and angry sneer as she stared at Sunset with eyes framed by twitching eyelids. “No… never mind…” she said in a slightly strained voice.

Starlight looked at Twilight in concern and cleared her throat. “You know, this Crystalling sounds pretty important…”

Twilight turned towards Starlight, her smile having suddenly found the strength to conquer her sneer.

Sunset’s eyes widened in surprise as she looked towards Starlight with a slightly betrayed expression. “Et tu, Starlight?!” she cried as she held her forehooves up dramatically in front of her.

Starlight turned to mouth a quick ‘Sorry’ towards Sunset and turned back towards Twilight, looking at her with a hopefully expression on her face. “Er… I’d understand if you wanted to… you know… wait to do a different friendship lesson when we get back.”

Sunset’s ears perked up and her eyes widened. A mischievous smile spread across her face with the speed of spilled molasses.

“Are you kidding?!” Twilight replied to Starlight with a beaming smile. “This trip is perfect! Not only do I get to see the baby and take part in the ceremony that helps maintain the magic of the Crystal Empire”—

Sunset’s left eye twitched but she maintained her smile as Twilight wrapped a forehoof around the back of Starlight’s neck to rest it on her shoulder. Starlight’s smile wilted slightly.

—“but I’m starting my new pupil off with the most amazing friendship lesson ever!” Twilight pulled Starlight close to her. “I can’t wait!”

Starlight used a forehoof to push Twilight away as she leaned away from Twilight. “Riiiiight..” she said with a smile. “Me either…” she said with a worried look as Twilight raised her book back in front of her face.

Starlight turned to Spike, who was sitting across from Starlight and Twilight. Spike narrowed his eyes and motioned to Twilight with both claws before folding his arms across his chest.

Sunset’s smile disappeared as she practically fell across the seat’s division and leveled a forehoof at Spike. “Where the heck did you come from?!”

Twilight lowered her book and stared at Sunset, raising an eyebrow as she followed Sunset’s forehoof to who she was pointing at. “Uh… that’s Spike… He’s a baby dragon?” Twilight said in a perplexed tone. “You and Starlight were holding him as the three of you sobbed hysterically just earlier today?”

“I know who it is, Twilight!” Sunset cried. “But that seat was completely occupied by Pinkie and her gift just a little bit ago!”

Spike shrugged. “I just walked in and sat down while Twilight and Starlight were talking.”

“Then why didn’t I notice that?!” Sunset uttered. Her eyes widened in fear as she raised her forehooves to the sides of her head. “Oh… oh no… Did that firework explosion give me a concussion?!”

Starlight turned and looked at Sunset in concern. “Twilight, Sunset might be really hurt here. Maybe I should take her to a doctor when we get to the Crystal Empire.” Starlight turned towards Twilight her worried yet hopeful smile having returned. “You know… do a different friendship lesson this time around. Take care of a friend.”

Twilight looked over her book, a slight pout on her face as she cast a worried glance at Sunset. “Well...”

Sunset flashed Starlight a devilish grin before erasing it like an etch-a-sketch with the shake of her head. “No, it’s okay!” Sunset said. “I’d hate to be the reason you don’t reconnect with your friend, Starlight.”

Starlight cringed and shot Sunset a betrayed look.

Sunset continued. “Twilight’s idea is really good! I think you should talk to Sunburst.”

Twilight’s face lit up. “You… you really think so?!” she asked as she turned towards Sunset.

Sunset nodded as she turned towards Twilight with an earnest smile. “Sure! Starlight really should face this aspect of her past. Make amends… or force her friend to make amends.”

Twilight chuckled. “Well, I’m not sure about that last part, but I’m happy you like the idea!” Twilight said as she raised her book up and continued to read.

Starlight pit at her lower lip and turned towards Spike again.

Spike once again wordlessly narrowed his eyes and pointed at Twilight.

Starlight let out a heavy sigh. “Actually, Twilight, I am a little worried about meeting Sunburst.”

Spike nodded in approval as Sunset gave Starlight an approving smirk.

“Oh, trust me,” Twilight said as she scanned a few more lines from her book. “I know what it’s like to see old friends.”

“Oh, Moondancer, right?” Sunset asked.

Twilight lowered her book and gave Sunset an embarrassed grin. “Yep… I’ve got plenty of experience here that should help!”

Sunset turned towards Starlight. “See, Starlight! Nothing to worry about! Twilight has actual life experience to help you out! Plus I’ll be there!”

“Me, too!” Spike said cheerfully.

Sunset smiled at Starlight who grinned sheepishly back.

“There you go,” Sunset said. “We’ll all be there to help you in your time of need and also pressure your friend into behaving… with violence if necessary!”

Twilight cringed as she smiled nervously.

Sunset frowned slightly. “Oh geez… I kinda wish I brought my phone or something I could play a DMX song with while we do this.”

“Uhmmm..” Twilight uttered. “I’m sure we can do this lesson without resorting to violence.”

Sunset let out a disappointed sigh as she flopped dramatically in her seat. “Blerg…” she uttered as a coy smile came onto her face.

Twilight produced a large scroll that unraveled down onto the floor, past Spike’s seat and past Fluttershy and Rarity’s seat. “See! I’ve broken the whole lesson down into a few easy steps to ensure this reunion goes off without a hitch!”

Sunset’s eyes shot open wide as fast as she got up to her haunches. Her smile widened so fast that it almost looked like it cracked. “I stand corrected regarding one or two things I just said!” she said as she forced a jovial tone into her statement. Her smile soon shattered as any hint of mirth, forced or otherwise, went with it. “AND WHERE DID THAT SCROLL COME FROM AND WHERE DID TWILIGHT’S BOOK GO?! ALSO, WHERE THE HELL IS PINKIE PIE?!”

Pinkie’s muffled voice replied. “There’s free candy in between the train cushions!”

“I’M SORRY I ASKED THAT LAST QUESTION!” Sunset cried. “BUT STILL ANGRY ABOUT LOTS OF OTHER STUFF! SO, VERY, VERY, ANGRY!” Sunset’s shot directionless glare overflowing with rage into the train car.

Starlight turned towards Sunset, her eyes full of concern as Sunset clenched her teeth together tightly and her chest heaved up and down. “Uh… Sunset?” Starlight began. “Could you maybe help me find the bathroom?”

Sunset’s glare suddenly curled up into a smirk as her breathing slowed to something a bit more normal. “This train has six cars total, and it’s a train so your option on directions are pretty limited, but okay, sure.”

Starlight’s face flushed slightly as the other occupants giggled and chuckled. Sunset leaped of her seat and walked past the ponies, some on seats, some under them, before opening the door to the train car. She stepped out into a snack car full of empty wooden shelves with a window on either wall providing light from outside and a door that led to the outside back of the train. Starlight followed and closed the door from the passenger car behind her.

Starlight shot Sunset a frustrated look and began to speak in a hushed tone to match her expression. “What the hay was that all about?!”

“I know, right!” Sunset said. “That train car must have weird dimensional aspects related to ponies and objects or something because…”

“Not that!” Starlight said as her eyes narrowed.

“Oh…” Sunset said taking note of Starlight’s expression. “Is this because I teased you because of the bathroom thing? I mean… I assumed you actually wanted to talk, otherwise I would have taken you to the bathroom instead of the empty snack car Pinkie cleared out.” Sunset rubbed her chin thoughtfully with the back of a forehoof. “Gee, now we need to figure out some excuse as to why we hung out in the snack car when there’s clearly no bathroom here…”

“No! I mean… fair enough… I probably could have come up with a better excuse.”

Sunset nodded. “Totally!”

“But I saw that look, you knew I was trying to avoid talking to Sunburst and you just threw me back to the purple timber wolf with the extraordinary long list on how to talk to my childhood friend!”

“I didn’t know about the list!” Sunset cried. “Twilight just produced that massive scroll out of nowhere!” Sunset closed her eyes, took a deep breath and smirked. “Also, as tickled as I am about that mental image, you’re mad at me because I wouldn’t let you use me as a prop for your escape plan?”

Starlight cringed and looked away from Sunset. “I… I’m sorry!”

“No, don’t be!” Sunset said with a smile. “I was actually really happy to see some pony try to scheme to get what they wanted!”

Starlight turned towards Sunset. “You… you were?”

Sunset nodded. “Yeah! If you succeed...” Sunset smiled wryly. “Which you won’t because you’re now up against me and I’m the master at this sort of thing… you’re not really hurting anyone except maybe yourself. Also, it reminds me of how much fun I used to have doing that sort of stuff,” Sunset frowned. “You know… before I decided to go all high school mob princess on everyone back where I live now. I kinda miss seeing that skill used harmlessly or for good, you know?”

-~oooooo~-<

Celestia let out a heavy sigh as she trotted down a luxurious hallway with a lush red carpet and vermilion walls covered with ornate gold-framed pictures all of a white unicorn mare with flowing black hair and golden, jewel-encrusted rings around her horn. Why is everypony on the school board such a miser?! Celestia shook her head. It’s bad enough that school funding is far short of what it should be, but I can barely get any of these stuck-up ponies to donate a few bits. I think a bake sale would be more effective at this point. Stopping to shoot an irritated glance at a painting of the unicorn mare which was larger than herself, Celestia narrowed her eyes at it. And all these ponies surround themselves with such expensive frivolities on top of that! Especially Silk Stocking! She’s even been the worst regarding chipping in to help the school… Oh I wish I just knew where all that money had gone!

“Mommy, mommy!”

Celestia’s thoughts were interrupted as an excited-looking orange unicorn filly with fiery red and yellow hair and a matching sun cutie mark on her flank bounded up to her from down the long hallway. Sunset Shimmer’s horn glowed turquoise as a leather-bound notebook floated behind her.

Celestia’s lips curled upwards slightly. “Hello, my little shimmering sunshine. Sorry that took so long.” Celestia’s smile only grew as the young unicorn rubbed her head affectionately against her legs. Celestia lowered her head almost down to the ground and nuzzled the filly. Lifting her head, she shook it. “Silk Stocking was being very…” Celesta pursed her lips and glanced upwards, as if she were checking her eyelids for the proper word to use. “… evasive. The other school board members were difficult enough, but Silk Stocking was being… strangely indirect with me.”

Little Sunset Shimmer smiled up at Celestia as she floated the notebook up to Celestia’s eye level. “Well, I think I know something that will make you feel better.”

Celestia took the notebook in a yellow glow. “Oh, have you been drawing, Sunset?” she asked sweetly.

“No!” Sunset said cheerily. “I found where all the missing money went!”

“Oh, that’s nice, Su-WHAT?!” Celestia quickly opened the notebook in front of her, her eyes poring over the contents.

Sunset began to recount her recent exploits chatterbox style. “See, first I thought, ‘Gee! Silk Stocking sure has a bigger house and shinier stuff than the other unicorns we’ve met,’ and then I wondered why that was! I started looking around for her accounting information and stuff! So when I found that, I started looking at her books, but they didn’t quite add up!”

“Uh-huh…” Celestia answered as she turned another page in the notebook in front of her. Red veins, the shape of lightning bolts, began to appear on her eyes as she continued to look over the pages in front of her.

“So I saw this big ol’ combination safe and I wondered if there were more books in there that would help me! So I used ‘Slippery Slopes Spell of Safe Sapping’, which doesn’t really sap safes since safes don’t really have energy or anything, but I think Slippery Slopes couldn’t figure out a good ‘s’ word for ‘opening’ or ‘cracking’ and just picked something he thought was close enough! When I opened the safe—”

Celestia lifted the notebook upwards and looked down at Sunset. “You broke into a locked safe?”

Sunset’s smile dropped slightly as she looked at the red carpet and dragged a hoof over it a couple times. “Well… it was only locked before I used the spell and I didn’t actually break anything, so…”

Celestia raised the notebook back in front of her face. “You shouldn’t just use magic to unlock stuff because you’re curious, my little shimmering sunshine,” Celestia said with all the sternness of a soaking wet towel. Celestia turned the page. “Now, you said you figured out where all the money went. Is it all accounted for here?”

“Yep!” Sunset said happily. “Pages 5, 12, 31, 34, and 42!”

Celestia turned a few pages and then closed the book.

Sunset continued. “So that’s why Silk Stocking could afford a bigger house and all these pictures of her-Ooff…”

Sunset suddenly found herself next to Celestia’s face as she was nuzzled vigorously while white feathers surrounded her. “Hehe… I knew this would make you happy!”

Celestia gently put Sunset back on the ground with her magic and smiled sweetly at her. “Yes, my little shimmering sunshine. You’ve made me very happy.” She looked down the hallway, her smile giving away to a roiling ocean of pure unadulterated rage. “However, Silk Stocking has made me angry. So very, very angry.” She glanced at Sunset. “Maybe you should find another room to play in or go read while I—”

“Oh, Celestia~!” A feminine voice sang out cheerfully as Silk Stocking galloped up to Celestia in Sunset. “I just decided I could spare a few hundred more bits! That should… should…” Silk Stockings face went from cheerful, to worried, to near-panic stricken drenched in glistening sweat as she caught the expression on Celestia’s face and took notice of the notebook held aloft in Celestia’s magic. “Uh… where did…”

“Sunset Shimmer found this because she was curious about your accounts,” Celestia said in an even tone.

“What?!” Silk Stocking said in an irate tone. “How dare she snoop through my private…”

“I WOULDN'T CARE IF THIS MAGICALLY FELL OUT OF MY DAUGHTER’S FLANK!” Celestia roared as she shook the notebook angrily, her magic suddenly shifting into a brilliant orange sunstone color rather than the soft yellow it usually was.

Sunset giggled.

“IF IT’S TRUE, AND I REALLY DON’T SEE HOW IT CAN’T BE, I NEED TO HAVE THE PONIES WHO MAKE THE DICTIONARIES COPY ONE OF THESE RIDICULOUSLY SHOWY PORTRAITS OF YOURSELF SO THEY CAN USE A SMALL VERSION NEXT TO THE ENTRY FOR ‘IN TROUBLE’!”

Silk Stockings ears wilted as she lowered her head. Keeping her eyes on the towering alicorn in front of her, she took a few steps back. “But… but… Princess… I can… I can explain.”

“Oh, good!” Celestina said with a faux smile that did nothing to hide the anger she wore like a blazing supernova on her face. “I was worried there’d be no clarification around why a new addition to your house or more portraits of yourself was worth STEALING FROM CHILDREN!”

“But… but… I mean… due process and… the… the law…”

“DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO RIGHT NOW?! I AM THE LAW!”

Sunset smiled proudly up at her mother.

Silk Stocking swallowed. “I’m going to the dungeon, aren’t I?”

Celestia smiled darkly. “Oh, only until we fix our little budget issue by liquefying your assets and after you make a generous donation of most your entire estate to my school…”

Sunset piped up. “And I liked some of the books I saw in your library! I want to take them home!”

“And my daughter would like a few books from your library!”

Silk Stocking was now on laying at her stomach, staring up at Celestia as her emerald eyes drowned in fear. She managed to glance at Sunset. “Ta… take them! They’re yours!”

“Sweeeeet…” Sunset said as a grin spread across her face and she galloped off.

<-~oooooo~->

“Uh… Sunset?” Starlight asked in a concerned tone. “Sunset Shimmer?”

Sunset blinked a few times and shook her head as if she suddenly was coming out of a trance. She glanced upwards and rubbed her chin with the back of a forehoof. “I think I know where some of my old power tripping issues stemmed from…”

Starlight let out a sigh of relief.

Sunset looked at her, her lips pursed and her brow tight. “Shoot, how long was I out for this time?”

“About three minutes…”

“… Whoops... Uh… Where was I?”

“Something about being a mob princess and using the power of scheming for good.”

“Oh, right! That’s kind of what I’m doing now!” Sunset said. She grinned mischievously at Starlight. “Or rather, I’m counter-scheming for good!”

“Uh… You really think forcing me to talk to Sunburst is good?”

“Of course I do! As stupid as Twilight’s method for coming up with friendship lessons may be and how stupider her method for executing is, she did come up with something I think would be a good growth experience for you after all the unspeakable evil you committed either through good, if twisted intentions, or accidently while just seeking vengeance.”

Starlight winced. “You… you don’t pull your back-kicks, do you…?”

Sunset shook her head. “Sorry! But I’ve sort of been where you’re standing now and I think you really should just meet this stuff head on! If you really aren’t ready to talk to Sunburst, you at least need to come clean with Twilight!”

Starlight sighed heavily and looked at the floor. “But I can’t disappoint Twilight like that… Oh… I wish you understood what it’s like—” Starlight stopped her sentence dead in its tracks and stared up at Sunset with an apology already spelled out in her eyes. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Sunset gave Starlight a blank look. “Were you about to remind me I had no friends growing up?”

Starlight winced and looked at the ground sadly. “I wasn’t trying to!”

‘Creeeeak…’

The girls turned as Spike walked into the snack car, closing the door. “There’s my favorite PMSers.”

Sunset winced with an embarrassed smile. “Hey, Spike.”

Starlight just smiled. “Hi, Spike!”

“So if you two don’t mind me asking, what are you doing in here?” Spike asked. He motioned towards Starlight with a claw. “I mean… even if only Starlight walked in, I’m pretty sure she’d have figured out there’s no bathroom here in the snack car, which is also the last car on the train, so…”

“Sorry, Spike,” Sunset said with a smile. “Girl tal—”

“We were making out!” Starlight blurted.

Spike paused for a moment and started at the two mares. “Neat! Can I watch?”

Sunset turned and narrowed her eyelids at Starlight. “Really? Making out?! Okay, props for coming up with an excuse on the fly that nopony is going to question the validity of, but ‘girl talk’ pretty much shuts down any males right away and then we’re not asked embarrassing questions like, ‘Are you two dating?’ or ‘Can I watch?’!”

“Sorry! I panicked!” Starlight cried.

Sunset sighed. “I really need to sit you down and teach you the nuances of explaining your way out of a potentially embarrassing situation instead of running headlong into one.”

Spike folded his arms across his chest and smirked. “Okay… assuming this is not some elaborate way to make me believe you two weren’t making out in the empty snack car that’s also devoid of snacks, what are you two doing?”

Sunset sighed as her ears flopped down around her head. She looked at Spike hopefully. “I don’t suppose you’d believe ‘girl talk’?”

Spike shook her head. “Not after you just explained to Starlight that’s what she should have said!”

“Dang!” Sunset exclaimed.

Starlight sighed. “Sunset’s sort of forcing my hoof with the inevitability of having at least one awkward conversation today… Excluding the one we just had.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Starlight was about to remind me I grew up a friendless orphan that nopony loved.”

“What?!” Starlight exclaimed. “I mean… I wasn’t… I mean… I didn’t… It sounds so mean when you put it like that!”

Spike looked between the two mares as he once again wracked his brain to figure out what he should address first out of the information imparted on to him. “Uhhhh…”

Sunset smiled at Starlight. “Relax, I was just teasing.”

Starlight took a deep breath and the worried expression on her face lessened.

“Teasing?” Spike said inquisitively. “Is that what you’re doing to Twilight?”

“Huh? Oh, no. Not at all.” Sunset gave Spike a slightly shadowy smile. “I’m straight up antagonizing Sparkle because I’m kind of peeved with her and she keeps talking like she thinks everypony around her has the memory of a guppy.”

“Yeah…” Spike uttered as he rubbed his head fin with a claw. “She is being a bookier book horse than usual today.”

Sunset nodded. “I know, right? I mean… I want to be nicer to the girl, but every time she opens her mouth it to talk, I have this uncontrollable urge to get Twilight to shut up by using my mouth aaaaand… That came out wrong!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you two weren’t making out in here?”

Starlight’s face flushed as Sunset rolled her eyes.

“No! We weren’t making out!” Sunset insisted. “Look… we’re getting off topic…” She turned towards Starlight. “You really should suck it up and talk to Sunburst or suck it up and tell Twilight you’re not ready to talk to Sunburst. I suggest the former.”

“Oh, so that’s what this is all about,” Spike said. He turned towards Starlight. “I think Sunset’s right, Starlight. At the very least you’re going to need to be a lot clearer with Twilight… I don’t think she’s going to pick up just how worried you are about talking to Sunburst the way you’re going about it.”

Starlight’s ears and expression wilted as she stared down at the ground. “But you saw how happy she was about this trip! I can’t just wreck things for her! She’s giving me so much!”

“Then don’t disappoint her!” Sunset said. “Again, you’re going to be able to talk to Sunburst with like… a posse of friends at your side.”

Starlight lifted her head slightly as she smiled at Sunset. “You… you really consider me a friend?”

Sunset sighed. “Spike, Pinkie isn’t here… Could you?”

Spike chuckled. “Well, d’uuuuuuuuuh!”

Sunset gave Starlight a warm smile. “Of course we’re friends Starlight! We’ve both done the whole ‘no parents thing’ and did the whole dark side, Vader shtick before he turned back to the light side thing!”

Starlight stared at Sunset with a slightly confused look. “So… Vader… is like… That someone you fought and—”

“Right, sorry!” Sunset said as she shook her head. She glanced upwards. “Man, I need to get you guys over for like… a movie night or something.”

Spike’s face let up. “Oh man, that would be off the chain!”Spike as he a pumped a fist in front of him. “Movies are awesome!”

“They sure are,” Sunset agreed. She turned back to Starlight. “The point is we have a lot in common. Starlight, and I’ve been where you are now! I know it can be hard to make amends, but believe me when I say you can’t just ignore this stuff and hope it just fixes itself! You’ve got to buckle down and face your past, and it sounds like Sunburst was a pretty big, pretty dark turning point for you.”

Starlight let out another sigh and looked away. “Sunset… I’m… I’m glad we’re friends… And I wish I felt this was as easy as you make it out to be but—” Starlight slammed a hoof down in frustration. “Ooooh…”

Spike’s eyes shot open as he smiled widely.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “She said ‘make it out’, Spike.”

“Aww… Man…”

Sunset shook her head and smiled warmly at Starlight again. “It’s okay, Starlight. Just say what you’re thinking…”

Starlight glanced up with an unsure expression. “You won’t… erm…”

Sunset raised a forehoof in her best attempt to do a ‘scout’s honour’ sign without fingers. “I won’t cry! Promise!”

“Er… I was going to say ‘get mad’.”

“Oh, right… I won’t do that either.”

“Okay… well… I guess I wish you knew somepony from your past you needed to uh… make amends with? I mean… just so you could better understand…”

“That’s it!” Sunset exclaimed.

Spike smiled as words began to spill from his word hole, “You’re going to work with Starlight to go back in time, find some random pony then harassthem so you have a pony who you need to make amends with, then come back to the present to make up with them!”

“Yep! That’s exactly it!” Sunset said as she turned to Spike with a smile.

“Really?!” Spike asked excitedly.

“No! Everything you just said was insane!”

“Ah, man…” Spike uttered as he kicked at the floor. “Guess I’m one for one on the guessing game today.”

Sunset looked up at Starlight. “I don’t have a crazy plan involving time travel. But I do have some pony I need to make amends with! Princess—”

“Oh, right!” Spike said. “Princess Cel—”

“RIGHT SPIKE!” Sunset quickly interrupted as her smile became nervous. “Princess Cadance!”

Spike frowned. “That wasn’t—”

“Princess Cadance is who I should talk to and no other princess! I’m surprised it took me so long to think about that with Twilight saying her name half a dozen times.”

Starlight looked at Sunset in surprise. “You… you knew Princess Cadance?”

“Knew her? We sort of grew up together for a bit!”

“Uh… Really?” Starlight replied. “And you… you need to make amends with her?”

“Hahaha…” Sunset shook her head.

-ooooooo-<

Sunset Shimmer sat at a table in a massive library, quietly reading a heavy bound book as a teenaged Cadance trotted over to her.

“Hey, Sunset!” Cadance greeted cheerfully. “Whatcha rea—”

Sunset lowered her book and shot a death glare at Cadance. “MOM LOVES ME MORE THAN YOU!” she cried before raising the book in front of her face.

Cadance’s eyes widened in surprise as a hurt expression made its way onto her face. “Oh… okay…”

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Sunset said dryly as she continued to glower into the book she was reading. With a turquoise glow, a red box with a yellow ribbon floated onto the table in front of Cadance. “Here,” Sunset added in an icy tone.

Cadance looked at the box skeptically. “Uh… Thanks? Er… do you want me to…”

“Oh sweet mother of me, just open it!”

Cadance leaned back and pursed her lips as she stared somewhat frightfully at Sunset who held her book in front of her and then the box. With a sky blue glow, she undid the ribbon. Putting a foreleg in front of her face as the box unfolded. For a second, Cadance just stood with her foreleg in place. Slowly, she lowered it and glanced at her gift, a neatly folded pile of black cloth. With a quizzical expression on her face, Cadance used her magic to inspect the pile, revealing it to be a black body suit apparently tailed to her unusually large and thin dimensions for a pony. “It’s a black… Catsuit? Like… for a spy? Uh… Thanks!” Cadance said with a smile. “But why—”

Sunset lowered her book and shot eyes set to ‘murder with my heat vision that I hope becomes a thing in the next second or two’ at Cadance. “IT’S SO LOOKING AT YOU IS EASIER ON MY EYES AND YOU CAN BETTER COMMIT YOUR CRIMES AGAINST ME, YOU LIFE-THIEVING, PINK-COATED, PASTEL PAINT STORE DISASTER!”

<-ooooooo->

Starlight and Spike stared at Sunset, their jaws hanging open.

“Yikes…” Spike said. “Just ‘yikes’.”

“Yep!” Sunset said with a smile. “The worst part is Cadance was also an orphan… I mean… I think she was raised by earth ponies or something, but still… No parents.” Sunset frowned. “I really should know more about this considering we sort of shared a castle and are adopted family…” She looked up at Spike and Starlight. “If I owe anypony an apology for years of being horrible to them, it’s Cadance!”

“Wow, okay…” Starlight said. “But who was your mo…” Starlight’s eyes shot open as realization hit her. “No!” she exclaimed. “You mean you were adopted by Princess Cel—”

“SO!” Sunset interrupted with a nervous smile. “I’ll talk to Cadance and then you’ll talk to Sunburst and we can then both put our sordid pasts behind us forever with no lingering hangups to speak of at all!” she said with a smile that quickly turned devilish. “Or are you ready to disappoint both Twilight and me?”

Starlight narrowed her eyes. “Oh… you are good.”

Sunset’s mouth opened into a massive Cheshire cat grin. “The best.”

“Wow, Sunset!” Spike said. “Great idea! You two are going to have some sort of double reunion, old friend meetup time, or rather single adoptive cousin meetup and single old friend meetup time… thing!”

Sunset nodded. “And both reunions will probably be just as awkward as that sentence!” she said happily.

“Yay…” Starlight said unenthusiastically with an expression to match. She looked at Sunset and Spike with an embarrassed smile. “Now… er… could one of you please help me find the bathroom?”

Author's Note

"Slice of Life" and "Drama" tags added because this fic is going to take all of us on a journey I don't think anyone expected. Yes, even me. Especially me.