Cup of Cute
Is it Wrong?
Previous ChapterNext ChapterIt was one of those rainy, dreary nights that made everypony want to curl up and go to sleep. The rain pounded out a lullaby on the windows, and the wind whispered a song of warmer days.
Twilight, however, didn't feel quite the same. Since the whole world was enveloped in a calm fog, she decided there would be no better time for reading a good book.
She, with a flick of her magic, lit a roaring fire in the hearth, and settled down beside it with a book tucked under her wing. As she opened it, she pulled over a blanket and sighed contently.
"Twilight?"
She glanced up from her warm nest, and tilted her head towards the direction of the voice. A pink muzzle poked over the threshold, followed by a familiar face. "Oh, Twilight, I've been looking all over for you."
Twilight stifled a giggle as the mare walked over to her. "It is quite a labyrinth, isn't it, Starlight?"
Starlight nodded with a careful smile."Definitely a bit tricky," she said, her hoof dragging across the floor. "So, I--uh..."
Twilight smiled warmly, patting the spot beside her on the blanket. "Here, come sit down," she said softly.
Starlight looked tense for a moment, but quickly covered it up with a grateful nod. "...Of course, Twilight," she replied, lowering herself down next to the princess. She tucked her legs underneath her, and laid down.
There rested a warm silence between them, as Starlight stared into the dancing flames. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I-I just--I'm nervous." She refused to meet Twilight's eyes.
Twilight studied her carefully, closing her book. "Why are you nervous around a friend?" she asked, following Starlight's gaze to the burning fire. She shifted within her blankets, placing her hoof over Starlight's.
Starlight flinched, dropping her eyes to the hoof resting over her own, and flushed lightly. She didn't pull away, however. "Friend?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow, trying to find the unicorn's gaze beneath her curled hair. "Starlight? Is something wrong? Of course I'm your friend!"
Starlight gave a half smile, swallowing hard. "Can ponies... lose friends? From hurting them? From making them disappointed?" She took a deep, waving breath.
Twilight raised her free hoof, and lifted Starlight's chin up to meet her face. Starlight went crimson.
"Starlight? Are you alright? You're burning up!"
Starlight immediately shook her head, her cheeks aflame. "No, no! I'm fine, I'm good! It's just the fire! Just the fire," she explained frantically, waving her hooves.
Twilight nodded unsurely, but didn't press further. "So, you want to know if ponies can lose friends?" she asked quietly, lowering her hoof away from the other mare.
Starlight's ears flattened against her head. "No. I already know what that's like. It's just that--what if you don't want to be mine anymore?" She toyed with the end of the blanket anxiously.
Twilight creased her brow, her eyes shining. "And why would that happen? I chose you as a friend because of who you are! Because you're a good pony. That won't ever change, Starlight," she said warmly.
Starlight grimaced, hanging her head. "But what if you're mistaken?"
Twilight's mouth fell open. "I am not mistaken!"
Starlight closed her eyes. "But what if you don't know me? How do you know I'm a good pony now?!" Her hoof trembled.
Twilight held her hoof still, which caused Starlight to go lightheaded. "I thought you had moved past who you used to be. I thought you knew I... that we all love you for trying to be a better pony," she protested.
Starlight didn't move. "Is it wrong?"
Twilight ran her tongue over her own dry lips. "What?" she whispered.
Starlight was silent for a moment, until she finally met Twilight's violet eyes. "Is it wrong that I'm not disgusted?"
The alicorn pulled back, bewilderment written on her features. "Disgusted at what?!"
Starlight made an incoherent noise, her nose wrinkling up. "Disgusted at my feelings, my actions, and my principals. Is it wrong... that they're not all gone?"
Twilight didn't answer at first.
"Is it so horrible that I want to change, but these thoughts won't go away? Every night--every night, I lie awake--" Starlight broke off with a strangled sob, tears pooling around her eyes. Twilight pulled her into her side with a wing, and leaned comfortingly against her.
"I lie awake and think about the village, all the ponies that lived there," she continued. "I was their leader, and they looked up to me. Everyone was equal and.... and I liked it. I still like it, Twilight." Starlight stopped, and buried her face in Twilight's chest, shuddering.
Her voice was muffled as she spoke. "I guess I just loved... belonging."
Twilight brought a hoof through her hair. "Starlight, can I tell you something?" she asked, pulling the mare up. Starlight nodded solemnly.
"I know this must be hard for you. It was your sanctuary, and your haven for all those years. You have a right to miss it, no matter how misguided you were. Sometimes life changes drastically, and it's not always easy to accept that, even for the best."
Starlight looked up. "What do you mean?"
Twilight smiled halfheartedly. "I didn't want to become an alicorn, or even a princess, for that matter. But I did, because I knew it was the best choice. Sometimes, when I think about it too much, yes, I would like to go back to living as a regular unicorn. But that's what makes you a good pony, Starlight. You're doing it anyways. Yearning for equality is a great thing, but sometimes in life, ponies just need the magic of friends to show them what they're missing."
Starlight rubbed her face dry. "You really think so? You don't hate me?" she asked.
"Of course not, you silly filly. I would never, ever hate you," Twilight said seriously. "You're my friend."
Twilight pulled Starlight in a heartfelt hug, digging her chin into the crook of her neck. "And don't you ever forget that."
Starlight squeaked, her heart pounding in her ears, and blood rushing to her cheeks. "O--okay," she stammered, almost sighing in disappointment when Twilight sat back. "I do want to change."
Twilight grinned, a sight that made Starlight's stomach fill with butterflies. Then Starlight looked back down. "I was thinking that, since I need to move on, that I could change my appearance, just a little? With a hair cut?" She bit her lip, her eyes wide with hope.
Twilight held her hoof up in her own grasp, giggling. "That sounds like a great idea."
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