A Very Confusing but Pleasent Way to Restart A Species

by Chaotic Ink

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 5620

The mares of Ponyville are acting weird and Midnight is stuck in the middle. She's not happy about it.

Something's up with the mares in Ponyville and unfortunately for Midnight, she's the epicenter.
Will she be able to figure out what's going on in time and save her friends?
Yes and no.
*Not cannon to the Witchingverse, just a fun little AU*

Published 2016-04-01 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-01 19:30:01 UTC

Run, Midnight, Run!

Midnight Storm grumbled over her mug of black coffee. She hadn't slept well at all. It wasn't due to more nightmares, praise Faust, but sleep just hadn't been restful. From what she had seen in her bathroom mirror, she also looked as bad as she felt. Normally the kirin would have simply gone back to sleep, being your own boss had its perks, but she was already pushing nine hours and behind on her work, so sleep would just have to wait for lunch and a good sun bathing.

As she gulped down the hot beverage in front of her, Squeaks came down the stairs. "Good morning Squeaks," Midnight said, the grogginess making its way into her speech so that her words sounded more like stringed-together growls than actual speech.

"'Morning mom," the bat filly said back, looking up at her mother with concern. "Are you alright? You look as bad as Sapphire and Windrunner do."

Midnight raised an eyebrow. "They had a rough night, too, huh? I guess some type of summer cold is going around. Squeaks, if you start feeling unwell make sure you tell me, Sapphire, or Windrunner right away."

The bat filly nodded. "I will."

"Good."

At that point both Sapphire and Windrunner came down the stairs. Squeaks was right; they looked like the express line had hit them in Manehattan and hadn't stopped until it reached Canterlot. Neither of them seemed to even register the other two in the room until Midnight mumbled out a half-hearted "'Morning". She was glad she'd convinced Honeysuckle to go pick up an order from Long Line's; at least she'd be spared getting sick.

To both Midnight's and Squeaks' surprise, both mares seemed to immediately perk up at the sight of the kirin, as if they hadn't been part of the walking half-dead a few seconds ago. Even stranger, Midnight also felt herself seem to wake up with an unexpected surge of energy. There was something about the two that she couldn't quite put her hoof on, but whatever it was, she liked it. True, she already liked Sapphire, but she was suddenly feeling the same way about Windrunner. Weird.

"Good Morning," Sapphire said silkily, walking behind her towards the fridge and gently, purposely brushing Midnight's back with her wing.

Midnight purred at the touch but stiffened slightly when Windrunner did the exact same thing. The kirin could feel the heat rise to her face.

"S-So, you two seem to be in a good mood," Midnight said, trying to start a conversation that would hopefully steer the situation in a different direction. Squeaks was still in the house after all.

"Yes, it seems we had a better night's sleep than we first thought," Windrunner said as she pulled out the milk for her cereal.

"But you both looked so tired upstairs," Squeaks said, looking at both pegasi with confusion.

"Well, you see Squeaky, sometimes all adults need to wake up is a good reason." Sapphire shot a glance at Midnight, and once again the kirin felt heat rise to her face.

"What was the reason this morning?" the bat filly inquired innocently.

"I think I'm going to go out and get some things," Midnight said suddenly, standing up from the table.

Both pegasi were up instantly as well and by the kirin's side before she could blink. "We can always go out for you!" Windrunner said.

"Yes Midnight, there's no reason for you to exert yourself today," Sapphire agreed, again gently, slowly rubbing her wing along Midnight's back. "Just sit back, relax, and wait for us to be finished with everything."

"That's alright!" the kirin told them, her voice at a higher pitch than usual. "I'd like to get some fresh air this morning. I'll be back later."

"You promise?" Windrunner asked, her and Sapphire making pleading puppy-faces at her.

"I promise!" Midnight said in the higher pitch again. "I'll be back... soon..." With that the kirin pushed past them to the door, grabbed her saddle bags, and went out, leaving so fast the door snapped loudly shut behind her.

"Is mom alright?" Squeaks asked. "She seemed a bit weird."

"I'm sure she's fine," Sapphire assured her, then quietly to Windrunner, "did you get a good look at her flank?"

As she flew over the town, Midnight shivered as she remembered what just took place. 'What in the holy name of the Faust was THAT all about!? One minute they're out of it, then they're practically on top of me!' As she thought about what had happened, the heat once again rose to her face, but this time it also went somewhere else. 'I mean, I like Sapphire that way fine, but what's the deal with Windrunner!? It's not like I like her the same way! Oh crap, I missed signals again, didn't I!? Sweet Faust on a stick, what if they want to start a herd!?' Here her mind pictured both mares on her bed, come-hither looks plain on their faces. 'DAMN IT!'

She circled down into the market place and landed a little ways away from AJ's cart. 'Alright, just... just get some air like you said... and maybe some ice water to dump on them when I get back.' As she began walking through town she saw that all the mares seemed to be as tired as Sapphire and Windrunner had been when they first came downstairs. Despite thinking that nothing like what happened at home would happen out here in public, Midnight still picked up her pace slightly, especially after one of the mares attending a stall caught sight of her and seemed to get better instantly. 'I have a bad feeling about this...'

Thankfully AJ looked alright as the kirin approached her cart. Scarlet was probably back on the farm. "'Morning AJ. Hey, have you noticed ponies acting... unusual?"

Applejack tilted her head slightly. "Unusual?"

"Yeah, like they go from dead on their hooves to fully awake at the drop of a hat."

"Can't say Ah have," the farm pony said. "But y'all know we all git up early in the mornin'. Can't let somethin' like bein' tired go and stop us from makin' a livin'. Besides, Ah'm feelin' much better now myself, and from the looks of it so is everypony else."

Midnight looked around. Indeed, everypony around them, well, every mare, seemed to finally be waking up. That, and there seemed to be a lot of looks her way. A lot of lingering, smile-filled looks. "Well... at least we're not all getting sick. Ten red delicious AJ." She watched as the farm pony put twelve apples into a bag for her. "Uh, AJ, I only said ten."

"Ah know, but Ah've got enough that givin' out two more won't hurt. 'Sides, them apples will help keep yur nice coat all shiny and what not." The farm pony actually looked her up and down as she gave her the apples. "Very nice coat..."

"Oookay..." Midnight backed away from the apple cart. "Well, I'll see you later Applejack."

"Y'all come 'round the barn sometime; Ah'll show ya how we Apples make applesauce," AJ called after her.

Midnight didn't respond; she only felt an ice-cold shudder run through her body at the thought of taking AJ up on her offer. 'Yeah, cold day in Tartarus', she thought as she made her way to the other side of the market.

"Hi Midnight!"

The kirin fell back on her rump as a pink-and-green something jumped into her face, which quickly revealed itself to be Daisy. Who was sporting the same creepy smile as every other mare she'd met that morning. 'Oh, no...'

"Would like some flowers today?"

"Uh..."

"Daisy!" Rose and Lily trotted over, giving their friend the stink eye. "We all agreed we'd ask her together!"

"It's not my fault you weren't ready!" Daisy shot back.

"Nothing goes better with flowers than carrots."

To Midnight's surprise, or perhaps not at this point, Carrot Top was now there with them, a small group of carrots held in her hoof.

"I can help you with a garden!" Another mare called out.

"Kirins get free ice cream; today only!" Another sang out.

Midnight was acutely aware that there was now a good deal of mares making their way into the now ever-growing circle around her. Add to it that all of them were trying to talk over one another and the kirin was actually starting to become truly afraid. Then an idea struck her; a stupid, desperate, clichéd' idea that, considering the way they were all acting, would just be crazy enough to work.

"Dear Sweet Faust above! I've dropped something back by Applejack's cart!" she yelled out, barely being heard over the ruckus the rest of them were making.

"I'LL GET IT!!!" came the resounding yell from the mob as they stampeded back the way she had just came.

As soon as none of them were looking her way, Midnight bolted into the air as high as she could go, only stopping when she reached a cloud that was high enough that one would have to have great vision to see her from the ground. She flopped onto the soft cloud a let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully an hour or two out of sight would cool everypony down and let them come to their senses. She let her eyes begin to flutter to a close, a nap under the sun sounding like a good idea, when she felt something on her wing. A soft, almost reverent stroke along the edge of her extended wing.

Midnight bolted up to find her cloud surrounded by the town's resident fliers, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flitting the closest to her. Fluttershy removed her hoof from where it had been stroking Midnight's wing with a blush. "Hey Midnight," Rainbow said. "Figured you'd want to spend time with us fliers first."

Midnight felt her eye begin to twitch. Even up in the sky she wasn't safe from whatever had possessed the town and she knew, with a sickening dread, that there was no way in Tartarus she could out-run or out-maneuver Rainbow Dash. There was also the very good chance that her ruse wouldn't work a second time. In short: she was trapped. Unless... "Fluttershy, Rainbow kicked one of your animals the other day and threatened to kick it again if it told!"

Luck stayed with Midnight a second time as her lie seemed to get through to the shy pegasus. "WHAT!?" Fluttershy screamed, turning on Rainbow.

"Wait, what!? I never-!"

"Rainbow Dash, how could you!?"

"She did! Quick, all of you, get Fluttershy's animals so they can tell her themselves!" She even batted her eyes at them. "Please?"

As one they all dived away towards the edge of town, leaving Midnight on the cloud and Fluttershy tearing into Rainbow over an event that never actually happened. With the other two distracted, Midnight slipped off the cloud and dove down to a seemingly deserted part of town. 'Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide!' She jumped when she heard a squeaking sound coming around the corner and spun around to see Big Mac hauling a wagon filled with apples behind him.

He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, then his eyes fell on the sack of apples sticking out of her saddle bags. "Midnight, y'all know why AJ ain't at the stand?" he asked.

Midnight, fully ready to bolt again, stopped when he asked such a reasonable question that wasn't about doing something together with her. "Wait, you're not creepily obsessed with me and want to suggest doing something alone together?"

Both of his eyebrows went up. "Uh... nope."

"Oh praise Faust," Midnight said, nearly slumping to the ground in relief. "Big Mac, I have no idea what's going on, but ever since I woke up this morning mares have been doing and saying things that make it sound like they want to-"

"I think I heard her over here!" a female voice rang out from around the building.

"HIDE ME!" Midnight screamed, diving behind the large red stallion and trying to hide behind him.

Before he could ask what was going on, a large heard of mares came around the corner, AJ in the lead. "Big Mac, what're you doin' to Midnight?"

The elder apple sibling looked at his oldest younger sister in confusion. "What are y'all doin'? Y'all are supposed to be at the cart AJ; Granny ain't goin' to be happy none."

"We want her!" a random female from the crowd called out.

"We need her!" another chimed in.

Those words caught in Midnight's ears. She'd heard them somewhere before, and sudden realization of who could be behind this whole thing made her growl. "Twilight!" she growled.

"Big Mac, Ah'll get back to the stall as soon as Ah get finished with Midnight there, now git on out the way!" AJ told him.

Big Mac looked from his sister, to the kirin trying to hide behind him, then back to AJ. "Eeyep." With an apologetic look at Midnight, he pulled away and around a corner.

"Traitor!" she called out after him.

"Don't worry about him none." Midnight froze, then turned her head, coming face-to-face with AJ. "Y'all got us here now."

"Nope." Midnight pushed AJ back and took to the air once more. At least two dozen magical auras tried to grab her, but she slipped through them as if she was covered with magic grease. She stopped on top of a roof and looked around for Golden Oaks Library. It was closer than she thought, and if she stayed to the roofs, she should-

"Um, Midnight?"

'Buck'

"It's just, my animal friends said that-"

"Of course they said she lied, because she DID!" Rainbow yelled, then her eyes went soft. "Of course, I'm perfectly willing to forget it-"

"Nope," Midnight repeated, pushing Dash this time before ducking over the side and began flying between the buildings.

"Get'er!" Rainbow called out, and a small army of pegasi mares dove after her. Thankfully most of them had no experience at stunt flying or had trained as a guard.

Midnight lost the vast majority of them with sharp turns and driving them into various obstacles such as clothes lines and garbage cans. Soon only Rainbow was down between the houses after her, and the only reason the kirin hadn't been caught yet was that she was throwing various flaming objects back at her. Unfortunately her building cover was coming to an end, made even more evident by the wall of pegasi blocking her way at the end. Perhaps in desperation to escape things became clearer to her, but without warning Midnight closed her wings and dropped to the ground, allowing Rainbow to sail right past her and plow a hole in the flying wall. Earth ponies and unicorns made to block her path on the ground, but the kirin simply leaped over them with her wings. With speed that would have slightly impressed Rainbow, Midnight barreled into the library.

Ignoring a shocked Spike, she quickly bolted the door and every window in the place, even rushing up to Twilight's room and making sure it was locked, before finally settling down in the middle of the first floor to catch her breath.

"Midnight, what the heck is going on!?" Spike cried out.

"*wheeze* mares *wheeze* after me *wheeze* all morning *wheeze* Twilight *wheeze* Want It *wheeze* Need It *wheeze* spell. Need *wheeze* stop her." After another minute of catching her breath and a glass of water, Midnight was able to more clearly explain the situation to Spike.

"And you think Twilight is the reason behind all of this?" Spike asked incredulously.

"She's the only one who knows the spell in this town! Who else?"

"But she's been in bed all morning with a headache! She can't be the one who cast the spell!"

"Cast what spell, Spike?"

Both Midnight and Spike looked up at the stairs to see a tired looking Twilight coming down them. She looked just as bad, if not worse, than Sapphire and Windrunner had earlier before everything went... weird.

"Midnight thinks you cast the Want It, Need It spell again," Spike informed her, sounding as unconvinced as ever.

Twilight actually snorted with laughter. "The Want It, Need It spell? Princess Celestia forbid me from ever casting it again; why would I ever do it... again." As she made it down to them and looked at Midnight, she, like all the other mares that day, seemed to finally wake up. Any hint of pain was gone as well.

"I know, right?" He turned to the kirin. "There, you see Midnight?"

"Oh, I see alright," Midnight said, a look of resigned hopelessness clear on her face.

"Spike, why don't you go in the kitchen and whip something up for us," Twilight told him, getting uncomfortably close to the kirin.

"But, don't you still have a headache? Maybe some more bed rest would be better for you."

Twilight shook her head. "I'm feeling better Spike. Much better." The unicorn looked Midnight up and down.

"Well... hey, what are all those ponies doing outside?"

They all turned towards the nearest window. Outside, the mares had finally gotten themselves back together and had surrounded the library.

"Oh, well, let them in. We are a public library after all-"

"NO!" Midnight screamed, tackling both Twilight and Spike. "No! You are closed today due to sickness! Spike, go make her whatever soup you make for her when she's sick. No buts!" she said, silencing the dragon before he could protest.

"Fine. Should send a letter to the princess saying she's gone crazy..." he mumbled as he walked into the kitchen.

Midnight was too busy trying to pry the Twilight off of her; the unicorn was determined to rub fur together. "Well, if it wasn't you, then who could have cast it?"

"I don't know, but maybe a bit of time in my room or basement would help; whichever you're comfortable with." Twilight batted her eyes at her, and once again Midnight found herself in a very uncomfortable situation. "You know, you look really good in the dark. Really good."

"Thanks," Midnight groaned as she tried to figure out what to do next. She was stuck in Golden Oaks with Twilight and Spike, one of which thought she was crazy while the other one wanted to get crazy with her, while practically the entire female population of the town was outside and from the sounds of it they were getting impatient with the locked door and windows that kept them out. Midnight groaned when she saw that Pinkie, Rarity, Berry, Lyra, Vinyl, and even Mayor Mare were outside. Pinkie was especially bad; if anypony was going to find a way in, it was her.

"Would it really be so bad to let them all in?" Twilight asked her innocently. "We could all get to know each other more... intimately."

"Why couldn't you just be having another episode?" Midnight snapped back at her. "All morning, the moment a mare sees me, they get all hot and... bothered." Midnight stopped as the gears in her head turned. Another plan was forming in her head; another crazy plan. Then again, crazy and unlikely to work had been successful so far; why bet against a streak?

"Twilight," Midnight said, her own voice getting low and suggestive. "You know what would really make me happy?"

"What?" Twilight asked excitedly, the need to please the kirin making her fall right into Midnight's trap.

"Since you can't cast spells on me exactly, could you cast a concealment spell on a object I can hold?"

Twilight nodded excitedly. "Of course I can! Do you want anything specific?"

"No, just make sure it's something small."

Twilight nodded again. "Okay, it'll be ready in a minute!"

Twilight was indeed done in a minute, presenting the small paper-weight-turned-charm to Midnight. "Just put it in your saddle bags and everypony will think you're me, but only if they don't get too close."

"Thank you Twilight. Also I'm actually really sorry about this."

"Sorry about- *WHAM*"

Midnight watched as the purple unicorn went down like a sack of bricks. She dropped the thick encyclopedia next to her and looked up in time to see Spike starring at her.

"Spike..."

"I knew it! You've gone crazy! I'm telling the princess!"

Midnight leaped over the unconscious Twilight and was on the baby dragon in two bounds. She grabbed him and, thinking quickly, shoved him in the pantry where she was sure there wasn't any paper he could use. "Spike, I'm telling you I'm not the crazy one! I'll come back and get you when this is all sorted out, I promise!" She left him banging on the door, demanding to be let out.

She dragged Twilight to the basement door and left her on the landing just inside. Scooping up the charm and dropping it into her saddle bags, she took a deep breath, and opened the door. She jumped back as the rest of the bearers and a few others squeezed in.

"Hey, where is she!?" Rainbow demanded.

"I don't know!" Midnight lied. Wow, even her voice sounded like Twilight's. Got to give the girl credit; she was thorough.

"What'da mean y'all don't know?" AJ demanded. "She was locked in here the whole time!"

"I know, but I was working on a teleporting potion, something I could gave the rest of you to use whenever we have one of our adventures, when she came in here, locked everything up, then took a potion and was teleported to who-knows where!"

"Aw, I thought we had her this time..." Fluttershy said dejectedly.

"Don't worry Shy, we'll get her," Dash reassured her. "Alright everypony," she called out to the crowd, "Midnight could be anywhere in town, so split up and find her!" They all began to file out when the noticed that "Twilight" wasn't following them out.

"Well, come on!" AJ said.

"I... uh, need to use the bathroom first," Midnight lied again.

AJ gave her a piercing look. "Seriously? Right now?"

"Hey, when you can run around looking for somepony with a full bladder, let me know," Midnight shot back, heading for the stairs.

They eyed her until she was half-way up, before finally leaving to join the search.

That had been close. AJ was known to see through lies, and for a second she thought the farm pony would see through the magic.

Trotting out the front door, Midnight made her way back home where she was, hopefully, safer.

The walk home was, for the most part uneventful, thankfully. A couple of near run-ins with search parties had nearly exposed her, but they always stayed just far enough away that the disguise held up. At first she'd thought about heading over to her mother's, but dismissed it. Summer was out of town on business and she didn't want her sister to see all this insanity. Then she'd thought about hiding out at one of the thestrals', but she'd also dismissed that idea. They'd all be dead asleep by now and what if whatever was affecting everypony else was also affecting them? At this point she just hoped Sapphire and Windrunner had left the house looking for her.

Opening the side door was like lifting a burden off herself. She was safe at home, everypony seemed to be gone, and Midnight had only one thing on her mind: get in bed, lock the door, and, hopefully, sleep this odd morning away. She shut the door of her room with her tail and with a slight flap of her wings flopped down onto the mattress. If felt a whole lot better and safe than any cloud.

"I told you, she'd be back."

*click* "She's even better than I thought if she could get away from everypony else."

Midnight's eyes flew open, then tabled. "You know what? I give up." She rolled over and sat up. Sapphire and Windrunner were in the room with her, Windrunner near the now locked door. Both were giving her the same playful grins she'd seen all morning from every other mare in town. For some reason on them, it actually looked... genuine, and Midnight actually liked it. Only a bit, mind, but even so she could feel stirrings... down there. "Where's Squeaks?"

"Out with her friends. Hopefully that bag of bits will keep them busy for the rest of the day," Sapphire told her.

"Alright, but I just want to know one thing," Midnight said, rubbing the side of her head. "Why now? Why out of the blue like this? And why both of you?"

Sapphire and Windrunner looked at each other, smiled again, then looked back at her. "Isn't this were all romantic relationships end up anyway?"

"True, but isn't this all just a little bit fast? And since when did you like me that way!?" Midnight asked, pointing a hoof at Windrunner. "Did I seriously miss two mares shooting me signals!?"

"Just think of this as getting to the inevitable," Sapphire said as she and Windrunner got up onto the bed with her.

"And I'd like to try this thing ponies call "experimenting"," Windrunner added.

There was no escaping it. The only option left would be to try and run to the Everfree forest, but that would only endanger them all as they would almost certainly follow her inside. No, she was going to have to endure whatever came next. Heat rose to her face as the two of them rubbed against her.

But, how bad could it be really? Sex was a pleasurable thing and she liked one of them that way anyway, but it all just seemed so fast and, as far as she knew, they both had as much bedroom experience as she did. How and why would they be coming on so strong now?

Sapphire and Windrunner both stopped just short of her muzzle, allowing their breath to blow gently over her. The questions died away as she decided they weren't going to get answered until the deed was done.

Windrunner chuckled. "Looks like she's ready."

"Yes," Sapphire cooed. "Let's have our turn before everypony else finds us."

"I said I was sorry," Luna said as she and Celestia glided down to the side door of Midnight Storm's home.

"Luna, you entered my memorial chambers-"

"You mean treasure room."

"Memorial chambers without permission, didn't read why you shouldn't have taken out the pendent-"

"I did! It said "evil unicorn magic" which we are immune to."

"And if you read the warning and history instead of just glancing at it, you would have learned that Carnal Desire-"

"What parent in their right mind names their foal such a thing?"

"She changed her name. If you had read properly you would have learned that the pendent works in much the same way as the long-lost Alicorn Amulet, which means it could affect the unsuspecting. That is why sorry isn't good enough here, because if what I suspect is true, saying you're sorry will bring them little comfort!"

"Then perhaps thou should destroy evil objects rather than displaying them like a common trinket in thine own home!"

Celestia would have countered that some of the items could not, in fact, be out-right destroyed and it was the best way to keep track of them, but she was cut off when the door opened and a filly stuck her head out.

"Princess Luna, Princess Celestia?"

"Good evening, Squeaky Wings," Celestia said, bending down to be closer to her eye level. "Is your mother home?"

Squeaks nodded. "Could you talk to her, and Sapphire, and Windrunner? They've all been acting weird since that last pony went home."

The two princesses shared a glance. "We certainly will Squeaky Wings, but we'll need some privacy. What we wish to discuss with them is a subject you are still too young for."

Squeaks' ears drooped. "Yeah, mom and Sapphire said the same thing when I asked them what was going on." She stepped back into the kitchen and allowed the two alicorns to enter.

They found all three adults in the living room. Midnight looked like she was trying to cocoon herself in her wings and refused to look towards Sapphire or Windrunner. Sapphire was seated in the recliner nearest to the kitchen, also not making eye contact with the other two. Windrunner was sitting close to the fire, fiddling with her braids, clearly just as uncomfortable as the other two.

"Oh dear," was all Celestia could say. With what she knew about what Luna had done, it was obvious what had happened in the house earlier.

"Princesses," Sapphire said weakly, starting to get up.

Celestia motioned with a wing for her to not get up. "Please, do not get up on our behalf. We are here because a wrong has been done against you."

"You're damn right!" Midnight snapped at them. "Some sick son of a bitch made every mare in town want to get in the sack with me!" Midnight stopped here as the memories came back to her, glad Squeaks had already gone up to her room and, hopefully, couldn't hear them. "What kind of a sicko does that!?"

"I agree," Windrunner spoke up from by the fire. "Is this something that is normally done in Equestria?" Her look spoke volumes.

Celestia frowned. "If I may make a long story short, a previous student of mine found out she liked intimate relations... a lot. She created a pendant that drew stallions to her almost constantly. When things began to get really out of hoof, I stepped in a put an end to it all, and I was forced to seal her away in her own pendent and placed it with my supposedly secure," she glared at Luna, "Memorial Chamber. Unfortunately, last night somepony snuck in and broke it."

"Not on purpose!" Luna snapped back quietly.

Midnight was the first to speak up. "So, everything that happened today was because some idiot let her out of the pendent or something?"

Celestia looked over at Luna, who had grown a frown at the term "idiot". "I believe my sister can explain how today's events came to be."

"I went into Celestia's treasure room..."

"Memorial chambers."

"... treasure room, found the pendent, and accidently released the spirit within. I thought I had quickly recaptured it, but it was only a trick and she made her way here to Ponyville evidently. I am sorry for what has transpired here today."

They all stared at her, then Midnight's eye began to twitch. "Sorry? SORRY? You think SORRY helps at all!? I just... had sex with all my friends and neighbors! How the BUCKING TARTARUS am I supposed to look at any of them the same way again!?"

"But why did she choose Midnight?" Sapphire asked, trying redirect the conversation. Going the way things were, somepony was going to get hurt. Or be homeless. Or both. "Why not just take over the first mare she ran across?"

"Book End was no fool. Why take over the first random pony she came across when she could search for a bit and find a mare that was bigger, stronger, and in many other ways superior in her view? She most likely found you, then spread her spell over the town before possessing you. What she probably didn't know was that your wyvern blood would keep her from gaining full control." She locked eyes with Midnight. "I know it's probably too soon for you, but I need to know how many and who you've... slept with."

"Why!?" Midnight snapped. "Why would you even ask that!?"

"Because in addition to the mind-altering spell, she use a powerful fertility spell to guarantee pregnancies. She... also liked being pregnant, but from what I can sense, that part spell isn't connected to you, so it must have rebounded onto... everypony else."

Silence. Silence and stares of dawning realization that soon gave way to horror. Midnight opened her mouth in a silent scream while Sapphire and Windrunner looked down at their stomachs as if they were expecting some gruesome, alien thing to burst out of it.

Finally the kirin found her voice. "At least fifty," she croaked replaying the day in her head. Looking back, it was if they had been calling numbers.

Celestia nodded solemnly. "We'll need names eventually, but right now you have enough things to think about and we have arrangements to make." She bowed her head, as well as Luna, and they both silently left.

All three of them stayed where they were, the events of the past few minutes mixing with the ones from the day.

The silence ended when Midnight finally said, "I'm... I'm going to be... to fifty..." then she fainted.

And so things returned to something resembling normal for Ponyville. Summer fainted at the news she was going to become a grandmother fifty more times over, Scarlet and Honey were glad they'd missed out on the debauchery, and Squeaks was bouncing off the walls that she'd be a big sister. Eleven months later fifty baby kirins entered the world and the princesses declared it "National Kirin Day".

Then Sunset Shimmer, Sonata Dusk, and Starlight Glimmer also got pregnant with kirins for completely different, yet similar, reasons.

Then those fifty-three kirins grew up to doom Equestria and the human world to fiery, explosive deaths. Twice.

Author's Note

Not Cannon, so April Fools you nut jobs.

That said, I've just given you all a slew of possible kirins. MAKE WHAT YOU WILL OF THEM!!!