Behind The Scenes

by Nickel Alloy

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Roseluck, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 915

Luna is directing a film. Everyone wants to be in it. No one has read the script.

Luna is directing a film. Everyone wants to be in it. No one has read the script.

Turns out, Luna's really bad at this.

[Guys, this is a joke.]

Published 2016-03-29 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-29 03:50:01 UTC

You're up!

You're up!

Luna entered the studio. It was chock-full of ponies milling around. She tried yelling, but no one heard her because they were too busy talking. She sighed. It was a long first day, and she'd come back from smoothie break to find the exact same number of ponies she'd had when she left. Wouldn't SOME of them have gotten bored, and left? Where was her megaphone?

"Roseluck! Megaphone!" Luna shouted.

Her assistant popped up by her shoulder and handed her the megaphone. Luna took it, adjusted it, and held it up to her mouth with magic.

"Let's GO, people!" she yelled into it.

"Yeah, o-KAY," grumbled Rainbow Dash. "None of us had our coffee this morning because of the 6 a.m. casting call."

"Agh....fine. Roseluck! Coffee! NOW!" Luna screeched.

Roseluck pushed a cart filled with different types of coffee to the front. Rainbow Dash immediately grabbed three cups and downed them. Several other ponies took some.

"Happy?" Luna said irritably.

"Loads," Rainbow agreed.

"Well, it's now noon, and I've officially picked your parts!" Luna said bubbly.

"What?" Twilight asked, confused. "We don't even know what the parts are. You just made us read from an old script of -- mmph!" Twilight shoved Luna's hoof out of her mouth as Luna cleared her throat and looked at her clipboard.

"Twilight Sparkle as June!"

"Who's--" Twilight was interrupted by another hoof.

"Rainbow Dash as Lance!"

"That's a stupid name," said Rainbow Dash grumpily.

"Pinkie Pie as The Butler! Fluttershy as Random Dude! And Applejack as Random Dude #2!" Luna waited expectantly for ponies to start moving.

"Wait-- that's IT?" Rarity wailed. "Where's MY part? I waited in the casting line for THREE HOURS and my mane is a mess! You could at least give me a part!"

"Sorry," Luna said.

"This. Is. Bullshit!" Rarity yelled, stalking out of the studio.

"Roseluck! Scripts!" Luna snapped, paying no attention to Rarity. Roseluck appeared out of the shadows and handed two scripts to Luna, which she then tossed two Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "Scene Twelve. Let's go. And if you're not in the movie, talk to the Mayor about being on crew."

Fifty-six ponies swamped Mayor Mare. She grabbed her glasses and pushed everyone to a different studio.

"'Kay then," said Luna. "Twilight! Rainbow! On set!"

The two ponies stepped up to the stage. Twilight cleared her throat and peered at the script. "'Oh, Lance, I can't bear the thought of every being without you.'"

"Put some feeling into it!" came a yell.

"'Oh, Lance, I can't bear the thought of ever being without you. You are the light of my life, cuddlebuns.' Cuddlebuns?"

"Keep going!" shouted Luna.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "'..cuddlebuns. I wish we could run far away from here so we would always be together!'"

"Good!" Luna boomed approvingly. "Now, Rainbow Dash. Be manly!"

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. "'Of course, my sweet love bunch. All I want to do is to make..'..excuse me? Is this even appropriate?" Dash asked skeptically, cutting off her "manly" voice.

"Just keep reading!"

"Mkay...'..sweet, passionate love to you forever.'"

Luna motioned for Twilight to speak.

"'Oh, my darling, that would be wonderful! Let's run away together!'"

"' We will build a house by the seashore and live in a dream!'"

"We will make out on the beach by torchlight!'"

"'We will love each other forever!"

"'And I will kiss your lips forever as well!'"

"' And I shall kiss your lips, and your neck, and your arms, and your back, and your...' WHAT?! Aw, HELL no!" Rainbow Dash slammed her script shut. "If you have to make us SAY this, what happens when we get to the ACTING part?"

Twilight shrugged. "I don't think it's so--"

Rainbow Dash shoved her script into Twilight's face. "Read what you're supposed to say here."

"'I can imagine us feeding each other grapes at dusk!'" Twilight frowned. "What's so bad about that?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "No, not there. There." She pointed her hoof at the page.

"'Don't worry about your mother! She will always support our love!'" Twilight shrugged. "Still nothing."

Rainbow Dash facehoofed. "No, there." She used the tip of her wing to point out a passage.

"'I will stroke your wings and give you--' what? Luna, you're full of shit! And you're a crappy director, too!" Twilight said angrily.

"Now you're getting it," Rainbow sighed.

Luna sniggered. Then she giggled. Then she burst out laughing.

"Uh, why the hell are you laughing?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Because -- it's not -- a movie!" Luna gasped amidst her laughs. "It's all a prank for when you guys -- turned my birthday cake -- into pineapple flavor! And -- you know I hate -- pineapple!"

"That was all a JOKE?" Rainbow yelled.

Luna nodded.

Rainbow paused. Then she too fell on the floor laughing. "Y'should've seen your FACE, Twilight! Ha!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "God, Luna. You're still full of shit."

Pinkie Pie's face suddenly appeared behind Luna. Twilight shrieked. "Ah! Where did you come from?"

"I've been here the whole time, silly! Me n' Applejack n' Fluttershy saw the whole THING from the back! It was HILARIOUS!" Pinkie Pie bubbled. Right on cue, the two other ponies started howling.

"Why, thank you," said Twilight sarcastically. "It's nice to know I'm such a good actor." With that remark, she walked out, leaving five ponies all laughing on the floor.

Pinkie Pie detected a hint of a smile as the alicorn left.