Love Letters

Chapter Four:

Fluttershy felt alive, although the day time country and forest took the cake, the night time city was much better than night time country. A few ponies were out, maybe returning from work after a long day, maybe going out for an evenings with their friends. Of all the ponies out, the pegasus was the best looking, maybe not the best dressed, but the hours of washing and brushing and styling had her mane a competitor of Rarity's. Her new hat sat squarely on her head, above a few green butterfly clips that kept her hair platted. She smelled divine, like Dune Bug's spring garden. A few ponies turned their heads, that's for sure. The glistening yellow pony didn't care what happened, she was just glad to have her feelings told, at least that's what the mare told herself.

Although the yellow pegasus wasn't going to say it, she had spent around an hour putting in order everything she wanted to say, and how every letter was going to sound. The mare arrived at the door step of the library, and gave three small knocks, Okay, you're going to sit down, enjoy the food, and have a little talk. You need to tell her why you have feelings for her, and how great she is, and how amazing she looks... The mare drifted off, drilling all this information into her head bored her, no matter how important it was. ''I'll be there in just a moment!'' Called the librarian, snapping Fluttershy firmly into attention. You need to tell her what you've done for her, even when she didn't notice, that will prove you to her, what if she doesn't want to know what I've done? What if she just isn't interested? No, don't think like that, you're going to tell her that you- . The door creaked open, she's probably as nervous as you are, but what if she isn't? If that's so then you need to say what needs to be said, and that is- ''Good evening Fluttershy, please come in.'' Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh.

The pony in front of Fluttershy was dazzling; every ounce of preparation went to nothing. What had to be silk waved down from neck to belly to hoof, and everywhere in between. The blue complimented the deep purple in a ravishing display, that was more fair than the stars that bordered the night sky. The yellow mare felt helpless; all effort put into looking good for the night might as well been put into forcing back the rising tide that was Twilight's magnificent presentation. ''Fluttershy? Is there something wrong?'' Questioned the unicorn. Fluttershy couldn't answer; any wrong word and she might as well have an executioner's axe coming down to behead her right then and there. ''Is it how I've dressed? I'm sorry, I had a feeling it was too flashy, do you want me to change so you can feel more comfortable?'' The mare inquired, with the utmost of consideration. Twilight's dress was intimidating, but eye candy too good to pass up.

''No, Twilight, you're dressed lovely. Ple-... please don't get changed.'' Whispered the mare, only barley able to respond.

''Why thank you, I love your mane, it must have taken you forever to get it right.'' Complimented the mare, giving Fluttershy room to breathe.

''Oh yes, I used the shampoo Rarity got me for my birthday, I can't thank her enough, it was a really nice gesture.''

''That twenty-five bit bottle from Canterlot?''

''Um, no, forty-five. I used a quarter of the bottle, I think. I planned to use it for only the most important occasion. I hope it isn't too nice, I'm sorry if it's too nice.'' Same quiet tone, backing down, not to offend her love.

''Fluttershy, it's not... nice... it's beautiful.'' Blushed Twilight, ''Now come in, the whether schedule said it was meant to be as low as minus ten tonight.''

The library was no less dressed than Twilight. The floor was buffed to a high shine, the table stood under white linen, silverware sparkled and candles glowed a honeyed ambiance to eat by. Every second the pegasus stood staring let a few more gears click into place. ''I had some spare time in between cooking to get the library to look nice.'' Forcibly laughed the librarian. The two took their seats, directly across from each other. The yellow mare sat closest to the kitchen, every smell lingered, even over a twelve and a half bits of expensive shampoo. Twilight pulled a bottle of red wine from under her chair, she took quick glances at the yellow pony, who seen every one of them. The doubt crept back, she seen them all because she was staring. The pegasus looked to the arrangement of cutlery in front of her, trying to play dumb. I can't be sure though, oooh what if I'm wrong? What if this is all a huge mistake? ''Would you like some wine? I got it from Berry Punch.''

''Oh no, I don't drink, if that's okay.''

''It's all right; I still have to let the soup set for another,'' A glance at the clock, ''Eight minutes.''

''Okay, we can wait, we have plenty of time.'' The pegasus froze, I shouldn't have said that, now she thinks I'm going to be all pushy! Be calm Fluttershy, be calm, she has been dropping hints, at least I think she has, oh I don't know.

''Are you okay?''
For the second time that day, the pink maned mare wanted to run from her problems, run and hide and cry and sigh and move on, but she knew there was no running now. ''No, I'm okay, don't worry.''

''Fluttershy, please don't try to hide anything, I can see that you're tearing up. We came here to talk, and to listen, and to take action if needed.'' The purple pony philosophised. Fluttershy noticed her chair move back a bit, she wanted to run also, right alongside the pegasus the whole way. The yellow mare held back her tears.

''I just feel so nervous, this is my one chance to prove myself to you and I keep saying such silly things. I kept saying to myself that tonight was going to be perfect but now- but now I know that even if you did like me, I'm nowhere near the right pony for you. You're so perfect and you always know what to say, this dinner is amazing and you haven't even brought the food out yet, and even then still done your work and still kept yourself looking as amazing as you always are! I could just scream I'm so mad at myself!''

The unicorn took a jovial tone, ''Ha! Me? Perfect? Everypony I talked to today just got sounds and noise, I couldn't say a word to anypony because I was so nervous about tonight. Berry Punch was asking me a lot of questions, I only got away because her kitchen went on fire...'' A sip of wine.

Fluttershy cracked a grin, and then started giggling. Twilight joined, small at first but then having to put the glass down in case the piling up of laughs knocked her drink from her hoof. Fluttershy was well above normal sound levels, holding her belly to stop her insides bursting out to join the two's cachinnation; Twilight was over the table, crying into her hooves from the effort of the bursts. The two were absolutely howling, to no concern of the local residents.

Calm had begun to take hold, the librarian was coughing and rubbing her eyes, the more composed mare was giggling out the ends of her air, ''Thank you, Twilight.''

''No need, I almost have to apologise.'' Spluttered the unicorn, on her last few laughs. ''I think the soup is ready, I'll be back in a moment.''

''Okay, I'll be waiting here.'' And the purple pony was in the kitchen. Left alone, the yellow pony was given a moment to think in the no longer strangling anxiousness. Why can't I find a comfortable place on this chair? Oh, um, why is my chin so itchy? Discomfort distracted the mare and every move made it anrgier, the laughter had all but bubbled away. Not all books on the shelves has been pushed to the wall, where is Twilight? The yellow mare poured herself a generous glass of wine and took a few sips. The unicorn's cutlery had been mismatched during the outburst, trying to fill the time Twilight was using to spout wings and fly to Las Pegasus, the mare stretched over the table and uncomfortably went about re-organising the spoons and forks. In doing so, the set-up closest to the door was, just like its counterpart, pushed every which way. Oh no, how does Twilight do this? Why is it so hard? Twi-

''Fluttershy?'' Blinked the purple pony, horn carrying two bowls, her checks were a bright red.

''All the spoons and- an-''

''It's okay, stop apologising, I know you're stressed aaand... so am I... And really, not everything needs to be perfect, the view wasn't- um, half bad. We should at least try stay sane.'' Playfully rolling her eyes.

''Well, um... okay Twilight.'' The pegasus knocked her hooves together, like a filly who had been caught stealing biscuits. The unicorn grabbed one of the bowls and placed it in front of the yellow mare by hoof.

''I hope you like it; it was decided on half way out the door.''

''Yes, thank you, very much.'' Fluttershy shied away. The spoon was lifted slowly, the mare still recovering from the embarrassment of leaning over a table and franticly messing with the silverware, while her lady watched. But the embarrassment was different, it was laughable at? The spoon picked up its package and delivered it in under supervision of the cook, Fluttershy melted into her seat, letting out a small moan.

''Is it too hot? I'll get you some water.'' The mare called, running to the door. Fluttershy barely had time to swallow and wipe her mouth.

''No, Twilight! It's lovely, the flavours are just amazing. And I poured myself some wine; you don't have to get me water, but thank you for thinking about it. How did you make this, I'll have to make some for home.'' Fluttershy wholeheartedly managed, slurping the soup generously. I'm sorry Rarity; this soup is more important than being a lady.

The purple pony's surprise went unaccounted for by the pegasus. She slowly walked back to her seat and took a long sip from her bowl, then started to recall the process of the dish. The moans continued, as well as the blabbering, the scene was altogether quite odd.

''...and so you leave it in the oven at thirty degrees Celsius for twenty minutes. Um Fluttershy? Are you really enjoying yourself?'' Twilight finished and questioned.

''Yes, this soup is lovely.''

''No, uhh, I meant... uhh, the moaning?'' The pegasus scoffed back up a spoonful,

''I just, um, really- really like the soup.''

''Well um, I was just going to say, that, uh, I think it's uh sss-... cute...''

''Um, thank you Twilight.'' Am I hearing things? I can't be that drunk, not yet. Fluttershy was three quarters through her soup; the proud potager across from her had barely touched her bowl and was instead topping off her half glass of wine. ''Could you please fill up my glass? If it isn't too much trouble.'' Both glasses were filled back up. Twilight's inquisitive cheer got a coy look, Oh now Twilight, you know I'm drinking because nervous.

''So... did you like it?'' Swirling her glass.

''That was, um, delicious.'' That was the best dinner I have ever had. ''Why didn't you make it sweeter though? Don't you like citrus fruit?''
The unicorn put down her third spoonful of soup, she looked astonished. ''Oh well, you see- I was just rooting through some, you know, dusty old books, and that was the first thing that looked good, you know.''

''Well, I was just saying because those kind of foods set the, um, mood. And I know that they're your favourite foods.''

''The um, mood, yes...'' The purple pony blushed a little, ''Uuuuhhh, Fluttershy?''

''Yes? Is something wrong? Did I say something wrong?''

''How did you... how did you know my favourite kind of food in the first place? I don't think anypony knows but Spike, umm,, Fluttershy?'' The yellow pony just stared, both hooves under chin. She could feel the alcohol taking effect, judgement was foggy, and the mare was almost entranced. Twilight said we were here to talk, so I should talk right? But this is my one chance to prove it, pick your words carefully and just remember what Apple Jack said about talking slowly, or speaking slowly, if only I could remember which one!

''Well-'' The pegasus began, taking a swig of spirits. ''When I first started, um... taking a liking to you, the first thing I done was find out what you liked. Rarity said 'The fastest was to a stallion's heart is his interests.' '' Fluttershy claimed, in a badly done impression, ''It was good advice, she didn't know how wrong she was, but it was still very helpful.''

''Wait so... what you mean found out?'' The unicorn's question made Fluttershy jump, almost spilling some of the precious red juice.

''No, no, no! I meant I just listened to you when I could, there isn't anything wrong with that?''

''Of course not, I think it's actually really sweet. Go on, I'd like to hear more.''

''Sorry, I had learned all of your hobbies, favourite colours and, well, everything I could. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you, it had only been around a year that we knew each other by that stage. I thought it was too early and that I would seem very forward, but what really got me was that I was scared, the memories of those two...'' The pegasus hushed. A tender hoof stopped the dropping pony's head, Twilight was leaning over the table, peering at Fluttershy.

''It's okay, you can tell me.'' Fluttershy lifted her head, looked into the soothing pony's eyes and saw a far-reaching shine.

''Well... actually, it isn't really that important anyway, now that I think about it, I hope that's okay with you.'' A small nod in response, returning to her seat. ''I wasn't able to tell you because I was terrified that you wouldn't feel the same way. So I went to Iron Will, he thought me to be confident, and assertive. I felt so powerful, something that I never felt before then, and instead of going and telling you how much... I had feelings for you... I had become such a meanie and I got caught up in my confidence, I had almost hurt you and- and- I just couldn't think about it: what a monster I had become over you. I blocked it out and hid any hints about my feelings. If not for my little animal friends my secret probably would have been found, and I would have been a disgrace, I would have had to move towns and never, ever, see you again.'' The statement resonated through the minds of the two mares, the room fell quiet. ''Um... oh... well... okay, about five months ago a mare came to me asking if I could mind her flock of birds while she was in Mospony for a month, of course I said yes, you just know how much I love my birdies. About a week into her trip she sent me a letter asking how her birds were, after that we started sending each other letters every three days. We had become such good friends, she was a friend that I didn't have to meet face to face though, she said I should start writing letters when I told her about a pony I couldn't talk to-''

''I'm guessing that's me?''

''Yes, of course! You're al-'' No! Don't say that! ''Um, you're- you were the pony I was talking about.'' The yellow mare quickly continued, ''I started writing letters to you when she came back four months ago, she managed to convince me that I was really good with words. I just wasn't able to put any words down so I just send you the paper with your name on it, I cried a lot that day, but it did help. It gave me comfort that you knew somewhere, somepony loved you for who you were.''

''That's quite admirable Fluttershy, I didn't know who it was but I could understand how afraid you must have been, even at the time.''

''Oh Twilight, I'm so sorry, it must have been awfully confusing, I was just so confused.'' Fluttershy called out, Twilight, her agony aunt, comforted her with her best weapon, her words. Twilight had been inching her chair around the table, the pegasus imagined that she would have been dying of boredom, the 'hints' and alcohol kept the yellow mare from crying at this stage.

''Fluttershy, this is just- this is just such a shock. You're saying all these things about me and I just don't know how to deal with them... I mean, they are all wonderful but I just don't know about it. All through this day I've been stressed to- blazes about tonight, or... right now rather... I'm just worried weather I want to impress you or- or I just don't want you to feel like you've been brushed away, which you haven't, because you're my friend. And what if you're not, what if I do love you and I just wont say it... or I just don't know how. It's almost funny, that no matter how many books I read I can't use words for anything, and here you are, after five years confessing everything that's made you scared...''

''R-really, you really think that?''

''Yes, you have more confidence than anypony I know, not even Rainbow Dash or- or Daring Do! Nopony could match up to the things you've been able to do today! You are wonderfully brave, Fluttershy.''

No matter how hard she tried, Twilight couldn't say what she really wanted to say. Brave: Displaying courage. Just say it Twilight, you have made your mind up, and you've heard enough, you l- like- no. The purple pony felt slightly sick from her cowardice. But her headache disappeared the second Fluttershy stepped into her home, it was undeniable that the presence of the pegasus gave Twilight comfort, she could only take a guess at what the process was. You love her.

What Fluttershy said next, was one thing the librarian could not have prepared for. ''Twilight, you are the only pony for me; I want to spend my life with you. But that's why I'm scared, I don't know if I'm good enough, how do you know I'm brave? I don't know if I could do something if you asked it of me. W-when I first met you I didn't fall in love, you have always been- been- been something, everypony was always really good friends with you, but you then showed me who you really were, and I couldn't control my feelings. You are more loyal than Rainbow Dash; you don't lose who you really are. You're more honest than Apple Jack; you know exactly who you are. You're more generous than Rarity; you always give yourself what you need. You bring more cheer than Pinkie Pie; you always make yourself happy. And you're kinder than I could ever be; you can be yourself, you don't have to act like somepony other than yourself. I have to put on all these stupid clips and smells and you can just put on a dress and be as attractive as always. I will never be good enough for you, no matter how much I try or what I do! I love you more than anything, more than every small creature and everypony I've ever met but that means nothing, it never has. I'm sorry I wasted your time, Twilight.''

The pegasus, during her confession, had been ripping the butterfly clips from her mane and throwing them to the ground, knotting it up and rubbing it against her tears, making her mane an almighty mess. The straw hat had been chucked down because of what it represented to the yellow mare. A million words went through the purple pony's head, and a billion stories. All the sayings and metaphors that were Twilight's comfort, her feelings, everything she wanted to say. More things flashed through her mind than time in the universe. I could really make something of this, something amazing. This is now or never, for both of us. Purple hoof lay its self on a yellow hoof, the unicorn leaned in close to the yellow mare, made a whisper softer than the mane it nuzzled, ''You haven't wasted my time Fluttershy, you never have, you have showed me exactly who you are, and you are perfect for me... And about this dress, I don't know much about dresses, but I do know-'' A long breath. Fluttershy shivered, and whined just the smallest noise, ''The best ones... the best dresses... are worn to be taken off.''