Clouds

by MidnightDancer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 1986

Discord and Celestia have tea after Celestia returns from the Crystal Empire.

Having missed the Crystalling for the foal Flurry Heart, Discord requests, and is granted, a nice cup of tea with Princess Celestia to discuss it.

Published 2016-04-02 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-02 14:00:01 UTC

☁☁☁

Clouds
By MidnightDancer

The sunlight danced around the rim of Celestia's favored gold-rimmed teacup, casting twinkles of her sun throughout the room. Celestia smiled down at it, one of her few little pleasures salvaged from the Everfree Era. Normally buoyant and flagging behind her, her mane rippled in relative calm down her neck, streams of aurora licking downwards towards the floor.

She straightened up on her velvet feather cushion, glancing at the door with a sigh.

The grandfather clock that sat proudly in the corner by the door ticked over, a set of magenta eyes following it. He's late. Because of course he is. Celestia grumbled to herself, one golden-shod hoof tapping at the floor impatiently.

Until it stuck.

Celestia glanced down, eyebrow raising in mild surprise, as the floor below her hoof warped and turned a cheerful, bright pink. She pulled back her hoof, experimentally, and was rewarded with an exaggerated stretching of the floor before it snapped right back into place. Two eyes swam up from the gummy floor, blinking at the Princess around her stuck shoe with a red stare.

She nodded. "Hello, Discord. Won't you come up? I've arranged for the tea you requested, and it would be awfully rude to poor Fluttershy if I had to pour her special blend on the floor so you could drink it." Her calm, beatific smile stayed in place as the eyes widened at the mention of the demure pegasus, pink blob sinking back through the floor tiles and freeing her hoof. She surreptitiously checked the bottom of her shoe for any lingering gum, and, satisfied there was none, set her hoof back down and waited patiently.

A moment of silence, and then Discord popped into existence again, floating lazily above the cushion set out for him by the Princess. "Of course, of course. Will you call that insufferable maid to bring the tea, or do I need to... go get her?"

Suppressing an eyeroll only through centuries of practice, Celestia shook her head with a small smile. "That won't be necessary." Her golden aura enveloped the small bell on the table, jingling it briefly before setting it back down. Almost immediately, a small Earth pony maid bustled in, pushing before her a cart loaded with tarts, biscuits, assorted jams, as well as a sugar and cream caddy with the same gold gilt as the tea set on the table. Carefully, the maid lifted the ornate tea pot in her mouth, pouring a cup for both her Princess and the Spirit of Chaos.

"Tea Tray?" The maid set the teapot in the middle of the table, turning to bow smoothly to the Princess.

"Yes, Your Highness?"

Celestia gestured to her company with a hoof. "Have you ever met the Spirit of Chaos, Discord?"

Brushing aside a stray blonde hair, the green earth pony smiled nervously. "Ah, not exactly. Of course, I do remember the clouds he made during his... breakout." Feeling it was expected of her, she dropped into a half-bow before Discord as well. "Pleased to finally meet you, sir."

With an air of false modesty, Discord waved his lion paw abashedly. "Oh, pshaw. Those clouds were nothing. Just a tiny... taste of chaos." At the confused blink of the earth pony, he rubbed his face. "Really? Nothing? 'Taste'? Because it was cotton can... oh, nevermind. Thank you for the tea. Scuttle off, now."

Celestia sighed heavily as the maid did just that, eying Discord. "Was that really necessary?"

"She already dropped off the tea." He took a sip of his, uncharacteristically holding the cup normally in his lion's paw, sniffing deeply of the aroma. "Fluttershy does make some good tea. And I'm happy to report that it hasn't been over-steeped."

"Mm."

"But then again, your ponies are always so... well-trained." Celestia watched, her eyes narrowing over her own teacup as Discord snatched the bell in his talon, jangling it merrily. Seconds later, Tea Tray trotted in again, bowing.

"What can I do for you, Your Highness?"

Rubbing on hoof against her temple, Celestia sighed. "You can ignore the bell from here on out. I'm afraid Discord was having a little fun at your expense, for which I apologize."

Tea Tray blinked in confusion before smiling. "Of course, Your Highness." She trotted from the room again, closing the ornate wooden door behind her.

The grandfather clock ticked again.

"How about we move on to why you requested this tea meeting? I believe you wanted to know about the Crystalling?" Celestia steered the conversation clumsily back to where it needed to be, taking a deep sip of her own tea.

"Oh! Yes, yes." Discord settled down, sitting cross-legged on his pillow. "I heard that little Flurry Heart did what Sombra could only dream of doing."

Laughing, Celestia nodded. "Cadence and Shining Armor, not to mention Sunburst, are going to have their hooves full keeping that filly corralled."

"Oh, I'm sure of it." Discord took another sip of the tea, before straightening up in his seat, grinning, as he set the teacup down. He snapped his talons, and a small cotton candy cloud popped into existence beside him. "But, Celly, I'm much more interested in the events leading up to the Crystalling. Not, you know, all that boring stuff like her schooling and things going forward." He reached up, pulling off a tuft of cloud and nibbling on it. "I heard that there was quite a lot of... chaos before the Crystalling could take place."

Another snap of the talons, and another cloud appeared, merging with the first to make it larger. Celestia eyed it warily, before recomposing herself, turning to Discord. "Yes. Once little Flurry Heart was separated from Pinkie Pie, her cry was ultrasonic and magical in nature, most likely due to her being a natural born alicorn. It shattered the Heart, and... well, the storms started rolling in again."

A third cloud appeared, and then a fourth, making a large enough bed for Discord to lounge on. He blinked into existence atop it, leaving behind a whiff of ozone and cupcakes on his previous pillow. Rolling to his stomach, he smiled down at Celestia, fang gleaming in the sunlight angling through the skylight of the tearoom. "I did hear something about that. However did you help the ponies defeat the curse, Celestia?" Though his tone was light, a harsh undercurrent of malicious amusement ran through every word, and Celestia kept her face carefully schooled.

"The curse was formidable, certainly, and the Crystal Heart is the only known way to stave off those storms. It took the combined power of Twilight, Starlight, myself, and Luna to restore the Heart using a mixture of spells suggested by Sunburst. It was quite the adventure!" Celestia sat back, sipping her tea, and chanced a look up at the draconequus.

He was still staring down at her, Cheshire cat grin on his face until the cat got bored and leaped off his face, curling in Celestia's lap in a heap of purring stripes. Celestia frowned slightly, noting the cotton candy clouds had grown until nearly three-quarters of her calm tearoom was filled. Absently, she stroked the cat in her lap as Discord procured another mouth for himself.

"I see." The clouds Discord laid upon grew again, now filling nearly every part of the tearoom with their sticky bulk. "But, Celly, I daresay you're leaving out a very important part of this story..." He trailed off, reaching down to boop Celestia on the nose with his lion paw.

Glancing around, starting to feel a twinge of panic, Celestia shook her head and got to her hooves, unceremoniously dumping the Cheshire cat to the ground. "No, no, I've told you exactly how everything happened. I have no reason to lie, Discord."

Discord slid to the ground, chuckling as his form changed and stretched and grew until he stood before Celestia as a passable imitation of her. "Oh, have you not? Not even to spare your own embarrassment?" Discord pumped into the air with his new wings, flailing at the cotton candy clouds, eyes rolling in his sockets. He shot beams of magic from his new horn, voice going higher in mock distress as it did nothing but push on the springy surface of the clouds, which grew right back. "Oh noooooooo, the big bad clouds are gonna get meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He rolled around, oblivious to Celestia's glare from below, laughing uproariously from atop the clouds. His form shifted back to his normal mismatched self, taloned hand pounding on the cloudstuff in his mirth.

"Are you done?"

Coughing, Discord sat up straight on his cloud. "Are you? Because, honestly now, Celestia, it kind of seems like you are. Seems to me like the day a cloud can beat not one, but two Alicorns is the day you need to throw in the towel."

Celestia stomped a hoof on the tiled floor, glaring up at Discord. "They weren't normal clouds, Discord. They were curse-made. Simple magic can't defeat them."

"Yes, but your so-called simple magic certainly defeated King Sombra, and a host of other baddies. But, of course," and here Discord leaned in close, pressing his nose to Celestia's muzzle, "you didn't have your Magical Mystery MacGuffin then, did you?"

Celestia stepped back, standing straight and fixing Discord with a glare that could fell a dragon at twenty paces. Of course, Discord was not a dragon, so it didn't work. Celestia stomped a hoof for good measure, before taking a deep breath to recompose herself.

"I admit that, perhaps, I have grown lax in these last few centuries. My day-to-day ruling requires little more than basic levitation skills, and the raising of the sun, which is innate to me. My battle magic has had no need to exercise itself." She sighed, encroaching sticky clouds momentarily forgotten. "Regular magic is a bit like a muscle in older ponies, Discord... it needs to be worked out regularly to keep it sharp and strong."

The Cheshire grin returned to Discord's face, much to said cat's annoyance, and he floated down from the expanding cloud bank. Putting a mismatched hand on either of her withers, he nodded. "Oh, I know, Princess. That's why I, in all my largesse, am now giving you a chance to exercise it." His eyes twinkled merrily before he popped out of existence, Celestia left to blink the stars from her own eyes. She whipped around.

"Discord?"

The clouds rolled over completely, coating the doors in sticky candy.

"This isn't funny, Discord."

The clouds grew larger still, starting to press downwards. One portion brushed her horn, and Celestia ducked, a snarl etched on her face.

"Have fun!" Discord's voice rang once through the door, before she heard his retreating footsteps and giggles.

"DISCORD!"

A few minutes and one sound-muffling spell later, and Discord was grinning down at a prismatic pegasus. "Is it done?" Asked the pegasus, blue hoof pawing the castle floors.

"It is! You should have seen her face, Rainbow. It was just priceless!" Discord launched himself into the air, cackling madly.

"Cool, cool. And you'll let her out, right?"

Rolling his eyes, Discord nodded. "If she can't get herself out. I'm sure she can, but she'll be rather sticky afterward, I'd imagine." He snapped his talons, a plush couch and magical viewscreen setting up in the castle hall. Another snap, and they were both seated on it, watching Celestia struggle against the sticky fairground treat. One final snap, and both the pony and the draconequus had glasses of chocolate milk and cotton candy on sticks.

Rainbow grinned, content to watch the sticky scene in the tearoom unfold as Celestia's magic cut through the clouds, which would then plop mightily into her mane.

"Last time she shuts a curtain in my face..." mumbled the pegasus.

Author's Note

Preread by Majin Syeekoh 'cause he's awesome like that.