The crisp autumn air was cool on your back. It caressed you gently, yet ever so insistently, as if it were an impassioned lover meeting its partner for the first time in eons. You smiled absently, your eyes glazing over to any outside viewers. You were, of course, still perfectly focused on your surroundings – in particular, upon the best sunset you'd ever seen. It had been a lovely day, and that was said with no sense of irony or cliché. Was the phrase itself cliché by nature? Perhaps, but you reasoned to yourself that everything had been said a number of times already. If one had to come up with new ways to express beauty each time they saw it, they'd very quickly fall into an inescapable mental block. So instead, if asked, you would say that it had been exceedingly lovely today. Hardly fitting for the atmosphere, and not nearly enough justice done for the surroundings – but, for basic conversation's sake, it would do.
A small leaf tumbled towards you, carried aloft by the soothing wind, stopping only to get stuck on your forehoof before you gently removed it and the leaf went on its merry way. You wondered what it'd be like to be a leaf, just momentarily. You didn't know why, it was just something you did on occasion. You were, as told by both your clients and your relatives, an excellent empathizer. You could place yourself in just about anyone's (or anything's) horseshoes, and then live their situation vicariously. This outstanding ability was why you were one of the best therapists in the business. Not to mention, you just enjoyed helping ponies feel happier. It was a quality that most Pie family members shared, albeit expressed differently in each member. There were quiet approaches much like your own, and then there were...more exuberant ones.
If only, you pined, your own approach worked on yourself. As a therapist, you were mostly aware of your neurological issues and how to conceal and/or ameliorate them. And yet, there was the ever-present paradox that came with being consciously aware of a mental hiccup – you never could apply the techniques to yourself since your mind refused to listen to your consciousness once it had become flooded with signals from all directions. So, despite your life goal of simply being happy and carefree simultaneously, you spent most of your time in silence as you attempted to shut out all the sensations that all clamored for your attention so loudly. It was just a small disorder that you knew made you feel so alternatingly elated and overwhelmed...but that never made it any easier. You'd spent many a night sobbing into your pillow, shrieking above all chidings and consolations alike that there were too many sounds, too many textures, too many colors, and it was all just so much and it had to be taken away right now!
But the world would not pause for you...not that you expected it to. You would just have to deal with it the best you could, and maybe, just maybe –
“Hiya, Marble!”
You nearly jumped out of your hooves as a bubbly exclamation pierced your consciousness more effectively than a broadsword would have. Only one pony could ever so simultaneously scare you to death, and yet fill you with warmth at her presence. And so, after some quick breaths to soothe your furiously beating heart, you turned to face the voice with a genuine warmth that only came out ever so often. Only one pony could give you life like that, and only one that you knew had made it her life’s goal to instill that feeling into you (and others) the best she could:
“Hi, Pinkie.”
Yes, it was Pinkie. Like most big sisters, Pinkie always had your best interests at heart, whether it was over petty work troubles or being brought to your knees by a sudden passing flash of light. She’d always held you while you sobbed that everything was just too much, and instead of being like every other pony in the world and telling you to “suck it up”, reassured you that everything would be okay, and that it was okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. She always listened to what you said, no matter how inane or emotionally distorted, and offered whatever advice she could with her extra few minutes’ worth of life experience. You’d always been grateful to her for that, and still were evermore.
Pinkie seemed to sense your introspection, and hauled back the massive train that was her enthusiasm. “Whatcha’ thinkin’ about?” She asked, sitting on her hind legs before you and focusing on you so intently you thought your heart might melt at the sight of the most kind soul in your life paying such rapt attention to you. You wondered if she could ever read your mind, and just pretended to not be able to, just so she could see your reactions to her more authentically. You certainly wouldn’t put it past her…
“Oh, um…about you, actually…” You managed to mumble after bringing yourself back to reality, and thus remembering that you were in a conversation. Pinkie’s eyes lit up like it was Hearth’s Warming Day.
“Oh my gosh, me too!” She cried, leaping athletically to all four hooves. "I think about me all the time! It never gets boring because I’m full of surprises!”
Pinkie chattered on, but you just weren’t feeling ready for such superlative expressions today. The initial feeling of elation you’d felt upon her arrival had quickly faded as her words just...piled into a sort of trainwreck in your mind. Yes, you did love Pinkie, but...well, she could be overwhelming on bad days or in bad places. And, for literally no reason in particular besides what you suspected to be a chemical disruption, you couldn’t take much at all today of her perky prattling.
Word after word pounded into your head, reaching your eardrums but not your lexicon. Pinkie’s voice receded, echoing as though she’d gone down a chasm mid-conversation. The world slowly faded, to be replaced by the sound of your own blood rushing throughout your body and your heartbeat. Your eyes flung themselves shut, yelling at you that there was too much going on. The distant chirping of the resident mockingjays became unbearably loud. They seemed to be inside your ears. You could hear the crunching of leaves blowing in the wind. Wait, was that a beetle? And now the dirt was in on it too. Grinding, grinding, grinding. Crunching, squelching, digging into your hooves. You felt a million strands caress your shoulders. Oh no, what was that? Was it your hair? Or something else?
“You okay, sis? You don’t look so good…”
You jolted. Something had touched you. You didn’t know what it was. It felt...okay, you supposed...? It felt a bit like a hoof. Whatever it was, it was enough to bring your heartrate down a bit. Maybe it was friendly…maybe it was just Pinkie? You sure hoped it was. Anything else might send you into a heart attack. Or a seizure. With your luck, maybe both. Just anything to end this already!
“Sis! C’mon, look at me. I’m right here, okay? Everything’s fine, you’re alright…”
You heard her alright. You just didn't believe her. You felt your hooves tremble. You felt your knees shake. Your eyes hurt from the squeezing. The thing stopped touching you, only for something else to touch you. It encircled you. Squeezed you. Made you feel trapped, and crowded. Bear hug, you realized. Pinkie was trying to “squeeze the butterflies” out of you. It was a nice try. But all it did was slow that feeling down.The one of utter helplessness. It wouldn't stop, it just...couldn't. Everything was already getting louder. Louder. Louder. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP –
And then you felt it.
It was a small thing. A gentle sensation on your trembling lips that told them to be still. A wave of warmth imparted itself from the point of impact, gently easing your worries as it went. You vaguely felt yourself throw your hooves around the source as you pressed back fiercely, holding on to this grounding force with all your might. Your heartbeat slowed, your breathing settled, and before you knew it, the tears were streaming down your face in a mixture of relief, remorse, and a slight feeling of embarrassment as you returned to what you truly knew to be reality. The birds were chirping crisply in the air, the wind was crunching the leaves against whatever it saw fit, but now it wasn’t as unbearable as it had been moments ago. Everything seemed to sparkle, and every touch became more pronounced, more clear, more...enjoyable.
You could hear clearly again, you were breathing again – even if it was much quicker than normal – and you could move yourself again. You felt a pair of hooves wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into the incredible softness that you now felt on your lips. You felt yourself doing the same with trembling limbs borne of unbridled love and raw emotions in almost every direction that there was. You tasted cotton candy as your tongue found another like it, and delighted in dancing with its partner. The scent of peppermint pervaded your nose as you felt (and heard) every breath from your opposite ruffle your fur and glide into your muzzle. Your vision, even with your eyes closed tightly shut as they were, still exploded into colors and ill-defined shapes with every movement, each gentle brushing, and each new sensation. Above the chirping, creaking, and crunching of nature you heard the choked whimpers of an overwhelmed pony. You didn't know if they came from you, your sister, or even both of you, but one fact stuck out to you more than anything else.
The sensation that had brought you back to yourself, and then so much further, was your sister’s sweet lips upon your own.
You shared a rather more intimate relationship with your sister than most did with their own. It had begun rather innocently, with you just seeming to enjoy cuddling with her a lot as a filly. She was always so warm...but then, Pinkie discovered what kissing was, and had decided to show you firsthand how to do it. You could still recall almost every time your lips had met, and each time it was in a place too close for comfort...at least, in retrospect. You hadn't really cared where or when you did it back then. In the closet, in the bathroom, in an empty classroom, her bedroom, yours...you’d almost been walked in on by your parents once, and it mortified you now to even think of it happening now. But, back then, you'd never refused her when she initiated her affections. She was your rock, your sunshine, and you loved her very much for more reasons than you could count – and that was how ponies who loved each other (like Ma and Pa) expressed it, so you two were fine doing this, right?
That’s what you thought, at least.
It wasn’t until around your teenage years that you began having questions about why everything you two did had become so secretive. Why did she always shoosh you so much when you were trying to tell her you loved her? Why was she always glancing past you whenever your lips met, as though there were a manticore behind you? And most importantly, why hadn't she told Ma and Pa about this? This was something very important! You'd found your special somepony, and she'd been your own sister all along! This was great, it was amazing, it was...it was...indescribable! For one of the few times in your life you wanted to shout – in particular, you wanted to proclaim your love from the rooftops, to anyone who would listen. Maybe even those who wouldn't! You didn't care, you were in love. But...was Pinkie really, or...was she just humoring you at this point?
One visit to Pinkie's room when your parents were away later, you finally had your answer. She'd initially been shocked that you'd even asked if she'd stopped loving you – as either a sister or a marefriend – but, after some giggling and cuddling, she'd explained that she would always love you with all her heart. But, she had said, there were certain ponies who would have no room for love in their hearts if they found out about the sort of love you two shared. She had been acting strangely, she'd explained, to make sure that nobody could drive a wedge in-between you two. "Incest", as she'd told you it was called, was a big no-no, and that you two could be separated by your parents if they ever found out that your lips had met with more-than-playful intentions. That was the last thing she wanted to happen, as...by her own findings, they had "no room for their own daughters' happiness over what other ponies might think". The thought of never being able to get within a foot of your sister ever again (barring Ma and Pa's supervision) had made your heart stop. But, before you could even begin to ask what you two were to do about it, the front door's opening squeaks had signalled the return of your parents.
You'd taken flight back to your room, doven into bed and pulled out your action-rocks in record time just as they had walked into your room. They'd nodded briefly, having taken your facade of playing with your toys as an acceptable activity for a young mare to be engaging in, and trudged off to their own room. You'd thanked Celestia that they hadn't noticed how fiercely your hooves had been shaking, and before you knew it, the tears had begun streaming as your shoulders shook silently. You hadn't ever determined whether you were upset from anxiety, frustration, or just a general feeling of hopelessness – but the time you'd spent heaving as silently as you could manage was extensive enough that you could still recall the experience when you tried.
Sure, you now understood that the taboo existed, and how it was threatening to your contentment in more ways than one. And sure, you now understood why Pinkie had always been so nervous where you thought Ma and Pa would just tell you to play nice if they ever saw you. You still just didn’t understand why it had to exist, though. Who cared if you were sisters? Was it so wrong to love your sister more than you did anypony else? Was it so wrong to want to be by her side for your entire life? And was it wrong that being this intimate with her made you happier than anything else could? Was that really "wrong"?
Well, if you were wrong...you didn’t want to be right.
As much as you didn't want to, you pulled away from Pinkie's lavish administrations of affection, and smiled a little unsure smile as your tears began to slow. “Th-thanks,” you sniffed. “I...I just-...”
“I know.” Pinkie interrupted you with a grin of her own, almost as timid and sheepish as yours was. Her own face, now that you had recovered from your ordeal, was much more in focus than it had been before, as things usually were after one of your episodes. You could see tiny rivulets of moisture streaking down her now-rosy cheeks despite her now once-more-perky demeanor. You weren't sure if the tears were hers, or your own. They were probably a mixture of both.
The words didn't seem to want to tumble out of your mouth. You didn't even want to speak about the Tartarus you'd been through after that ascension to absolute heaven. But your mouth unhinged all the same, and eventually something came out. “It’s just so much, a-and...that...that was–”
“It is, sometimes.” She interjected, before pulling you into another bear hug. You flinched at the contact, but relaxed soon after as she gave you a squeeze to calm your nerves. You shuddered, and choked back another reflexive sob of relief as she pushed on. “Don’t you ever let me do that to you again, okay?”
“But–...when you...when w-we...you know...it was...amazing...!”
“No buts!” she insisted, grasping you firmly by the shoulders and pushing you gently back to meet her gaze. Her cadence was much slower now – she was clearly afraid you might relapse any second now. A curious mixture of a smile and a mother's worried brow graced her expression, giving more weight to her assertions. "It...I'm sure it was. I know how good it feels when things go right like that after things go so wrong... I felt an explosion of joy as soon as I felt you relax in my hooves! That's how relieved I was! But please, please..."
Pinkie paused to sniff, before wiping at her eyes as she fought back another wave of tears. “...don't ever let me do something that hurts you so much ever again, okay? You’re my sister, a-and…” she gulped, “...and I could never live with myself if I let something so bad happen to you, all because I had to prattle on like the silly filly I am. What if you just end up retreating into the shadows from your friends, your family, and...and me, all because you were pushed too far?"
Pinkie coughed rapturously as she attempted to hold back the torrent that was building visibly inside her, her eyes dropping from yours as she took many deep breaths peppered with pained squeaks that stabbed you through the heart. When she raised them to meet you again, even despite her now free-flowing tears, she hit you with an all-too familiar look of loving optimism against all odds that made you want to faint. “Just...Pinkie Promise me that you won’t let me hurt you like that again, for any reason. Cross your heart, hope to fly…?”
You couldn’t help but to grin despite the cocktail of feelings coursing throughout your veins, and somehow you managed to let loose a little chuckle charged with so many sentiments that you couldn’t count them. “...stick a cupcake in my eye…”
For a moment, the world around you slowed to a standstill. Eye-to-eye, breath for breath, and heartbeat for heartbeat, you two were in perfect harmony with each other. Deep beneath the shimmering surface of your sister’s waterlogged eyes, you gazed upon an ocean of motherhood and sisterhood intertwined. She smiled, and right before the world returned around you, you thought you saw just the tiniest of glimmers peek out from her gaze…
“Great!” And just like that, everything – Pinkie included – was pretty much back to normal, if not for the still-drying tears on her cheeks. “Now, c’mon. Let’s get you inside, okay? You’ll catch your death out here! It's getting dark, and the temperature's gonna fall faster than an anvil soon!”
"D-Definitely. But first...just...one last thing."
The perky pink pony cocked her head, and looked at you as though she had absolutely no idea what you meant. But you knew she knew. This was one of her games, and...it was endearing, in the strangest of ways. Pinkie just sort of had that quality, and it only drew you ever closer to her each day. What you wouldn't give to hold her in your hooves for eternity...
But, for now, a few minutes would do.
You smiled, before placing your hooves around Pinkie and drawing her into a gentle embrace. And for those few minutes, all your worries disappeared. You were safe, you were loved, and everything was just lovely. Pinkie paused for a second, before squeezing you back. You hadn’t thought it was possible to smile wider, but you managed it. Your eyes drifted shut as a gust of wind caressed your fur, and sent your mane tumbling in the wind. You didn’t mind the restyling you’d have to do later, or the sounds that so often haunted you if too great in their numbers. Instead, all you bothered to focus on was the gentle rise-and-fall of your sister’s breathing, and the warmth that her grasp imparted you with. You exchanged little loving whispers and small-talk with her, and by the time you finally pried yourself away from her fluffy form, the light had all but vanished around you. The wind was howling, and your pace was brisk as you trotted back towards the Pie Family Household, locked in step with your big sister. The wind didn't matter, the cold didn't matter, and even the stars in all their infinite beauty. All that mattered right now was that she had you, and you had her.
What more could you want in the world?
Author's Note
Hey! I realize the bits and edges are a bit rough, but I'm just warming up. I'll become smoother as I go on.
Confused as to why Marble had a "random" freak-out? Poor Marble is prone to sensory overload, which in her case is triggered by too many sensations at once, or a few rapid ones in case of sight. Everything just becomes so much more intense, and most of the time it's a bad thing. But good ol' Pinkie is working on helping change her ailment into something more positive...maybe if it could be brought out purposely, all the best things in life would stand out so much more, yes?
And there's our basis for that. Enjoy the other stories, and have fun!
