The Unsettling Suicide of Nurse Tenderheart

I felt Cheerilee’s hooves wrap around my shivering shoulders. She brushed my mane gently but didn't say anything. Just hummed ever so softly... I couldn't help but bury my face into the nape of her neck, hearing her voice shake with tears. I couldn’t help but squeeze her like a body pillow as the horrific news sank in.

As we lingered in that moment, the shock subsided a little and Cheerilee pulled away from me. She had tears still running down her cheeks. “I can walk with you to meet with the Mayor,” she offered in a broken whisper.

I took a deep breath, feeling as if I were on the edge of another breakdown. “Could we just go relax in the sauna?”

Cheerilee gave a small weary smile and a nod. “Sure.” As she stood and started for the door, she paused and looked back at me. “Tenderheart? Would you like me to let the others know where to find us when they’ve finished?”

I stood, collected my letter, and followed her out the door. “Mhm, let's try to forget about the letter for now, okay? No reason to spoil everyone's day.”

Cheerilee nodded as she held the door open for me. I walked past her and she let the door close behind us.

I made my way down the hall to the front desk, my hoof steps echoes throughout the empty halls. As I rounded the corner the mare sitting behind the counter smiled as I approached, “Already done, ma’am?” she asked in the sweetest voice.

I shook my head to answer her question before I laid my letter on the counter. “Could you hold on to this for now?”

“Of course, dear.” She smiled and took the letter, placing it in an empty bin behind her counter. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“Thank you, I'm fine.” I said before turning back down the hall. I felt tears come to my eyes and my bottom lip began to quiver. Just forget about it. Forget about the letter for now.

Spotting the towel rack, I snagged one and tossed it over my shoulder before opening the door. A plume of moist air rushed out to greet me as I stepped inside. Cheerilee was already setting on the bench with a towel over her face.

She pushed it up over her head, letting it fall onto her shoulders. “Oh, hey Tenderheart.”

“Hey,” I said as I sat down next to her and put the towel over my face. I just have to relax, let the warmth soothe my aches and pains…

Silence filled the room for almost twenty minutes until I heard the door open once again. Roseluck’s laughter broke the silence as she entered, followed by Berry Punch.

“I don't think I’ve ever seen you squirm so much, Berry,” Roseluck stated as she sat down across from me.

“Oh, Hardy-har-har. Laugh it up, Rose. You know how I get in places like this,” Berry Punch rebutted with a smirk. “At least I’m not as ticklish as you are. You squirmed every single time they tried to polish your hooves!”

Roseluck’s nose scrunched before she stuck her tongue out at Berry. Berry lunged forward and tried to bite it.

Rose withdrew it just in time. With a smile, she swiftly kissed Berry on the nose and laughed. “Too slow!”

Berry sighed and rubbed her nose against her foreleg. “Whatever.”

A chuckle rang from my throat. “Are you blushing, Berry?”

Berry’s right ear swiveled towards me, but her eyes stayed trained on Roseluck, who was now looking at Cheerilee and I.

I couldn't help but notice the smallest smile break Berry’s lips just before she turned to face Cheerilee and I.

“So How’d your treatments go!” Roseluck blurted out of nowhere.

My lips quivered but I caught it in my teeth and tried to smile.

Before I could say anything, Cheerilee stole my attention by pulling me into a hug. “We had a good time. Our hoof cleaning got interrupted but it doesn't matter. Does it?”

“Not at all,” I answered, feeling myself let go of the breath I’d been holding. A devious smirk crossed my lips. “So why do you get so antsy in this kind of place, Berry?”

Berry’s cheeks flushed once more, but before she could find a suitable excuse. Roseluck interrupted, “Mares make her uncomfortable and-”

Berry Punch scoffed, pushing a hoof against her friends muzzle. “Not true. Now drop it.”

The room fell quiet once more, but Roseluck broke the silence with a snicker. Holding up her hoof as if to whisper to us, she said, “She’s just cranky because she hasn't had a stiff drink all day.”

Berry Punch shot her a look but Roseluck just shot her a cheeky grin.

Berry rolled her eyes and smiled back before turning to the rest of us. “You know, she’s right, I could use a drink about now.”

Cheerilee gasped in feigned surprise. “You do realize it's only one o’clock, right?”

I watched as Berry Punch laughed and turned the steam valve to flood the room with a refreshing cloud of warmth. “It’s gotta be five o’clock somewhere, right?”

I nodded, but assumed not even Cheerilee could see me through the haze. “I could use a drink, to be honest.”

I could hear Rose chuckle somewhere. “Count me in!”

Cheerilee's voice followed with a quick huff. “Great, another field trip. I suppose I'll chaperone.”

I felt an honest smile spread across my features with relief washing over my poisoned mind. “Great. Where should we start?” I asked, hoping to hear Berry’s suggestion.

Sure enough, Berry Punch was the first voice I heard, closely followed by Roseluck, who quickly cut herself off. “We could start at the Everfree Bar and Grill. Get us a good meal before our adventures get carried away.”

Roseluck gasped, “Oh my Celestia! That’s way better than what I was going to suggest.”

As the steam finally thinned out enough to where I could see the rest of my friends, I noticed that Cheerilee was entertaining a thought with her hoof against her lips.
finally

“I've never heard of the place,” I finally said looking across at Berry. “What kind of food do they serve?”

“Everything's grilled over applewood. They have thee best corn cobs around! I swear it!”

Cheerilee finally spoke her mind. “How are we supposed to pay for this? None of us make enough for such a parade.”

My ears drooped a little as I realized how empty my bit purse was. Forty-five bits, I remembered. “How expensive would the meal be? I’d be fine with just that.”

“If we each paid for our own meals, it would be like ten bits each… but… I don't have my saddlebags. Remember?” She gave a piercing gaze to Roseluck.

“What’d I d- ooh… right, the wake up call.” She smiled back, seeming unfazed by the gaze. “That's alright, I'll pay for you.”

“I have enough with me for a meal,” Cheerilee grumbled in discontent.

“I'll pay for your drinks,” I offered her as I stood and hung my towel over my shoulders, “You deserve at least one.”

Cheerilee stood with her eyes closed and stretched out each of her hind legs before stretching out her forehooves, leaving her tail and flanks in the air for a moment.

Damn, if only you weren't married. I blushed, catching the stray thought and quickly averting my gaze to Berry Punch, who appeared to be distracted by the teacher’s demonstration.

She was only returned to reality when Roseluck trotted past her, playfully smacking Berry’s cheek with her tail. “Wake up call~!” She sang, letting herself out of the sauna.

Cheerilee blinked with a look of confusion, but Berry just stood and followed Rose out. Cheerilee looked at me for an answer. “Did… I… miss something?”

“Nope,” I said, feeling my face heat up even more. I quickly followed Berry Punch out and Cheerilee wondered out behind me. We each dropped our wet towels in the basket that sat next to the door and grabbed fresh towels to dry off with.

“Another!” I bellowed as I slammed my empty mug onto the table that now had an empty bread tray and several mugs on it.

Cheerilee rolled her eyes but didn't dare deny me this. She simply sipped her Crystal Tequila.

“How many does that make?” asked Roseluck after she finished off the last of her mug of cider.

Berry Punch just laughed. “That was her eleventh beer so far. And we still got another stop after this place.”

I looked across the table at Berry Punch. “Isn't that your eighth drink? Girl, you needa catch up!”

“I'm on my thirteenth,” she answered cheerfully.

Cheerilee laughed, “Fifth.”

Roseluck grimace. “Seventh. Can't we just stay here for the rest of the night?”

Berry Punch shrugged. “I don't really care either way. I'm fine with whatever, so long as I can drink.”

Roseluck nodded, and Cheerilee shared her agreement with the idea.

I shrugged before holding my mug in the air again. “Another!” I demanded just as a bartender appeared next to the table, an annoyed look on his face. “Please and thank you, sir.”

Both Berry Punch and Roseluck both asked for new drinks as well. After the pony left us I turned to Berry Punch and summoned every bit of liquid courage I could. “Hey Berry, can I ask something without you getting mad?” I asked, testing her reaction.

She passively waved a hoof to me as she slid her hoof into the satchel - she had grabbed from home on our way here - and drew out a pack of cards. “Sure,” she said, waving a hoof in the air before shuffling them. “Hold ‘em sounds like fun, we can bet drinks.”

Cheerilee butted in first, “Wait, we coulda been playing cards this whole time? Why are you just now pulling ‘em out?” She sat up straight and proper, new excitement glowing in her eyes.

I opened my mouth but paused as Berry spoke again.

“Of course, but I was saving them for the last stop, but since we're staying here, may as well play here,” she answered before turning her attention to me.

I stifled a chuckle with a nervous cough. “Why were you so nervous around the spa ponies earlier today?”

She quick shuffled her cards before setting the cards in the middle of the table. “Cut them,” she ordered me in an annoyed voice.

Roseluck quickly whispered something into her ear and Berry sighed. “I'll… I'll try to explain, but first ya gotta cut the deck so I can deal em out.”

I did as she asked and picked up a chunk of the deck, laying it next to the bottom half. Berry picked up the bottom half and sat it on top. As she dished out two rounds of cards to each of us, she mumbled under her breath. Finally setting the deck down.

I looked at my cards; Ace of spades over eight of hearts. Just high cards… laying them flat I noticed the bartender had finally returned with our drinks.

“So the reason the spa puts me on edge is simple. Like I said earlier, I don't like being touched unless it's in the ways I want. And generally that's only when I'm drunk… and preferably by a stallion.”

Everyone looked at Roseluck, who smiled and answered the unspoken question. “Check.”

“Check,” I answered.

Cheerilee responded the same, and with Berry’s answer she trashed a card before laying the next three out ever so slowly.

Jack of hearts.

Queen of spades.

Ten of clubs.

Damn it! I thought, but looked up at Berry. “I don't know if it's the liquor or me being stupid, but I get the feeling that there is more to it than just that… you sure that's it? We're your friends… you can talk to us.”

Berry’s brow furrowed, but she closed her eyes and took a soothing breath. After a few moments and another check from Roseluck, her eyes opened and focused on me. “You're right.”

I knocked twice on the table to indicate my ‘check’. “So what's up?”

Cheerilee gave a small smirk as her eyes darted from her hand to the cards on the table. “I'll raise two drinks.”

“Called,” Berry said, as she looked expectedly at Roseluck, who also called.

“I’ll fold,” I said, pushing my cards forward.

Silence engulfed the table as anticipation hung over our game. Cheerilee checked and Berry placed a card in the trash pile, with my cards, before laying one card down.

Ace of hearts.

Great… why’d I go and fold.

A snicker erupted from Cheerilee’s side of the table as she stifled it and tried desperately to hold a poker face. “Two more drinks.”

“Call.”

“Call.”

A total of twelve drinks now sat for the losers of this hand. Berry Pinch had the hint of a smile as she burned a card and flipped the last one.

Ten of Spades.

“Check.”

“Check.”

“Check.”

Cheerilee was the first to reveal her hand, with a Queen of diamonds and an Ace of clubs. “Two pair! Beat that!”

Roseluck just flicked her cards forward. Seven and Jack of Hearts. “I lose. One pair.”

I laughed. “Now I’m glad I folded. Only had a pair of aces.”

“Drink up, you two,” Cheerilee said whimsically.

“Nah, you can have mine, Cheerilee,” Berry said, finally flipping her cards over to reveal the Queen of diamonds and the ten of hearts. “Full house. You lose, honey.”

Everyone at the table broke into laughter as Cheerilee’s jaw dropped and she looked at her half empty glass.

“Drunk up,” Roseluck said, just before tipping her new drink back and downing the entire thing in one fell swoop.

I caught Berry Punch glancing over at Roseluck with a small sweet smile on her lips, it looked as though it didn't fit her at all… but there it was. An affectionate look glimmering like a little fire in her glazed eyes.

It only lasted for a split second because as she glanced over to Cheerilee, her eyes connected with mine and her entire demeanor changed. “Hey, I'm gonna step out for a cigarette for a minute, wanna keep me company and get a little fresh air? It’d give these two a chance to get those drinks down.”

I nodded and stood up to follow her out of the dimly lit bar. The sun had been set and the moon was hanging low in the sky. It was big and full, casting long shadows off the across the street.

The brisk fall air caught me off guard and caused a rush of feathers through my mind as the alcohol took full effect. As I found my balance and a certain numbness enveloped my body, I found myself sitting comfortably against the wall as Berry Punch had lit her cigarette and was offering me one.

Never have before… why does it matter anymore… I shook away the dark thought and accepted the offer. She lit it for me and I immediately began coughing.

“Never smoked before?” She asked, curiously looking over at me.

“Yeah…” I put the cigarette back to my lips and tried to take a slow drag. I watched as the tip of the cigarette began to glow. A warm feeling clouded my mind, but my lungs felt like they were burning and I coughed again. “Okay, not for me. What do you want me to do with this?” I asked, holding it out to her.

She knocked it out of my hoof and just stepped on it before kicking it out into the street. “All done, anyways…”

I rolled my eyes and just blurted out the first thought I had. “You sleep with a lot of stallions, right?”

“Yes. Usually after getting them nice and drunk,” she answered with a small smirk, but it quickly faded as if it were forced.

“So what was that look you were giving Roseluck? If you don't like mares so much as touching y- Oh… you… Oooh...”

She rolled her eyes and took a long drag off her cigarette. “Yesh,” she slurred, “I like Roseluck.” She turned and faced me, her cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. “And if you say one word, I’ll… I’ll…”

“So you have affections for one mare and any other mare that gets close to you just-”

“Yes,” she said, biting down on her cigarette before taking another long drag and spitting it into the street before sparking another one. “Look, I have a thing for her… but she’d never wanna be with somepony like me. I've been with far too many stallions and if you haven't realized yet, I have quite a few unattractive qualities that a girl like her would find repulsive. I don't even know why she still hangs out with me.”

She had sat against the wall and I stepped around to stand in front of her. “Well, fix it then. You want her, right? All ya gotta do is talk to her. I’m sure she’d understand.”

“I don't wanna ruin what we already have.” Her voice had begun to quiver a bit and she hastily took a drag off her cigarette. “If she says no then things will only get weird and awkward between us. We would drift apart and we’d have nothing but an awkwardly distant friendship.”

“You can stop, I understand. Look, you do you, but in the end only you can make things change in your life. Come on, we got drinks to be drank!” I offered her a hoof and pulled her up with a smile.

“Thanks,” she said as she finished her cigarette.

As we walked back to the table Cheerilee was looking down, watching her hoof make circles on the table top, while a crying Roseluck jumped at me with her hooves, locking around my neck.

I glanced over my shoulder to see rage boiling behind Berry Punch’s eyes. She swiftly turned and stormed from the bar without looking back. “What’s going on?” I quickly asked as I pushed Roseluck off me.

“I asked Cheerilee about what had been making you so upset earlier and she said that you got a letter-”
Oh no… and now Berry thinks… Oh Goddess no!
“-about your sister… I’m so sorry! Why didn't you tell us you-” She stopped and backed away. “Sorry… I kinda forced it outta her,” she said, looking over at Cheerilee, who was still making circles with her hoof.

I didn't say anything, just turned and chased after her, almost running into a pony as tears began to blind me. These weren't for my sister; I was too numb and Berry’s recent revelation was fresh in my mind.

As I got into the street, I saw her walking down the sidewalk with her tail limply dragging behind her, her head low and her shoulders melodically shifting back and forth.

I quickly caught up to her to match her speed next to her. “Wait, let me explain.”

She cut me off, jumping to the side and staring up at me, her hooves in a wide stance and tears streaming down her cheeks. “You have nothing to explain to me! I know what I saw and the only thing I have to ask you is... when? When did you and her…” She spun away and pulled out her cigarettes as she began walking away. “You know what? Whatever,” she mumbled as she lit it and drew in a long breath.

I caught up to her and cut her off by blocking her path. She growled as she stepped around me. “Leave me alone!”

I sighed and sat down, tears pouring down my cheeks. “My sister just died!” I shouted, and watched her stop dead in her tracks. When she turned around to face me, pure shock filled her eyes. “Cheerilee told her and she hugged me out of concern. Nothing more.”

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears by rubbing my eyes against the back of my forehoof. I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my shoulders, just as a warmth engulfed me with the distinct smell of alcohol, sweat, and cigarette smoke that clung to Berry’s pelt as she pulled me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Tenderheart. I… I didn't know.”

I sat there, stunned for a moment longer and realized I couldn't stop crying for the umpteenth time today.

When Berry finally released the embrace she took a step back, wiping tears from her eyes. They both turned at the sound of hooves echoes in the street. Cheerilee and Roseluck came to a stop on either side of us, both of them sharing the same look of concern.

“What happened?” Cheerilee finally asked, her attention on Berry Punch. “Oh, and here's your cards,” she added, passing them to her.

Berry took them and tucked them into her satchel, then faced Cheerilee. “Well, I-”

“We’re okay, just had to talk about something,” I said, cutting Berry off. She gave me a thankful smile. “Come on, I guess we should head back inside now.” My legs wobbled but the ground held firm as I turned back towards the bar. Goddess, I need a drink.

“Wait.” It was Roseluck. “Are you okay?”

“Can we not talk about this here and now? Please… I really just wanna enjoy the night.”

Both Cheerilee and Roseluck shared looks of concern but Berry Punch stepped between them. “I'll pay for the rest of your drinks for tonight. You deserve to be numb.”

“Thank you, Berry,” I said, turning away from the other two, who just shared a worried glance before following us.