Call of Twilight: Friendship is Warfare

All is quiet in Equestria. No monsters for the Mane 6 to destroy. Discord is reformed, the changelings and Queen Chrysalis are a distant memory, and nothing particularly interesting is happening.

Twilight lounges leisurely in her aesthetically unpleasing castle. She sits at her throne in the Hall of Friendship, reading one of her favorites: Star Swirl The Bearded: A History. She always seems to find herself drawn to this book and to the life of this mysterious stallion. What was he like? She often thinks to herself. Even though time travel is forbidden by Princess Celestia, Twilight can’t help but fantasize. History coming alive always seems to get her to daydream most vividly.

Twilight turns the page, the noise of the flipping paper echoing throughout the chamber. Twilight does not take notice. She is too withdrawn into the history of Equestria’s ancient military, as described by Star Swirl.

“The military” quotes Star Swirl “keeps the young land of Equestria together in these times of great instability. Security and patriotism are two necessities during the production of an effective peace-keeping force. When an atmosphere of safety is established and the people (including those enlisted and those civilian) share a strong feeling of unity under their patriarchal banner, a state allowing for the advancement of peace and harmony can be declared.”

Twilight is engrossed. Her eyes fly across the pages like searchlights, illuminating and absorbing each and every bit of information contained within the words on the paper. “However, the armed forces can prove dangerous. The militaristic and tyrannical nation known to most as Saddle Arabia has so far in the course of two centuries endured five civil wars because of their political and military divisions and anarchical society.”

Twilight frowns. She never takes kindly to the vileness and hate that ponies, griffons, dragons, and other species alike exude sometimes. Why couldn’t everypony just get along? Then again, that would make Twilight’s duties as Princess of Friendship incredibly dull.

Twilight sighs. “Fear boils into hate. Hate fuels divisions. Divisions bring tension. Tension brings misunderstandings. Misunderstandings bring conflict, and conflict brings war” quotes Star Swirl. “War never changes.”

Twilight frowns at the last sentence. She swears quietly to herself that somepony somewhere else said that exact same thing. Perhaps it was Shining Armor, military colt, who said so? No, she eventually decides, but it certainly isn’t Star Swirl.

At this point, the most ridiculous coincidence of events occurs. To be honest, this is the only explanation you as the reader of this awful fan fiction are going to get as to where Twilight will end up next because I as a writer am fed of finding new and creative ways to explain why My Little Pony characters are ending up in different dimensions. So here’s what happens: Twilight thinks to herself “There’s no way that’s a quote from Star Swirl the Bearded.” At this point, Twilight Sparkle’s ambient alicorn magic just so happens to be in perfect sync with the magical map in the throne room. The magical consciousness governing the actions of the map is activated, thus triggering its response. It searches its dimensional database for a match for the quote and finds it to be a pop culture reference in a dimension containing our wonderfully human-infested Earth, thus establishing a link with Equestria and our universe. At that very moment, Princess Celestia is flying overhead. It is a very hot day, and the sun brings down heat like no other. Without her knowledge (because her brain is overcome with heat), her horn begins to heat up and absorb large amounts of energy from the strong sun overhead. These energies mix with the immense energies of Celestia herself, causing her horn to overload. As her horn reaches the apex of its power, Celestia is directly above Twilight’s castle. In a desperate attempt to shake the sweat clinging to her face, Celestia does a barrel roll. This is when Celestia’s horn and the sun line up perfectly, aiming directly at Twilight’s castle. Celestia’s horn overloads and fires at Twilight’s castle. The energy flies through the walls and directly at the map. The map overloads with magical energy. This does not simply open a portal to our world; this sounds out a wave of energy that engulfs Equestria. In the blink of an eye, our universes are linked. Everyone is gone.

The next thing Twilight knows, she’s collapsed on her back. Her ears ring and her body bleeds. She holds out her hands…? She is surprised to see her hooves are gone, and even more surprised to see how bloody her new manual units are. She sits up.

She is wearing a desert camouflage uniform from head to toe. Her chest is squeezed tight by a tactical vest, and a modern US Marines helmet weighs down her head. Equally tight boots squeeze and bind her feet as she struggles to get up. She instinctually reaches to her side and retrieves an M4A1 Carbine rifle.

The rest of the scene fades in as Twilight’s ears cease to ring. Men and women shout all around. Gunshots and explosions thunder throughout the Afghani landscape. The middle eastern town is being torn apart by the war that rages around her.

“What are you standing around for, Private Sparkle?! Get your ass moving!”

Suddenly she understands. Suddenly, she understands everything. Why she’s here. What she has to do. And who she has to kill.

She cocks her gun and charges into the fray, her dogtags flailing against her chest:

“Sparkle

Twilight    A Pos

XXX-XX-XXXX

USMC     M

Celestian”