Doctor Who!?!

by ThatFriendlyDerp

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Romance, Carrot Top, Sex, Random, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, Anthro, Lyra
Length: 2501

Derpy has recently discovered that a new student has in rolled into the school that she is in. When she sees him she immediately drawn to him and tries to become his friend. And many things pursue at that point.

A Romantic Comedy starring: Derpy Hooves and Doctor Whooves. ALSO STARRING: Lyra, Bon Bon, and Carrot Top. Of life in highschool everything is going well for derpy. But one day a new student is inrolled and she tries to become friends with that new student. Funny moments and confusion and awkwardness ensues.

Edited By: MISTER TORGUE REVIEWS. Cover art by ThatFriendlyDerp!
Warning: contains swears and sexual innuendos.

Published 2016-03-31 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-31 04:00:02 UTC

Derpy Things

Doctor Who? By: ThatFriendlyDerp

Derpy let out and elongated sigh as she grabbed her binder and textbook. She scanned the day planner that she had pinned on her locker door, science was her next class. She dreaded the thought of it because science was not, at all her best subject. Even though she wasn’t that good at it to begin with.

She still tried her best to get good marks, not only science but every class she took. She always tried and if she failed at least she learned from her mistakes. Right…? Not everyone is born a genius that's for damn sure but you still got to try because doing nothing or not giving your all will always most likely result in failure.

So now here begins our tale of a blond mare that goes through the problems and awkwardness of high school life. And many other things t-

"Why do I hear some pony narrating me and some weird motivational speech?" Derpy wondered aloud.

"Whoever it is please shut up, I'm trying to think!" Derpy said in an annoyed tone.

Oops sorry Derpy… anyway back to the story. Derpy closed her locker door, and had proceeded to make her way to the science lab. A few ponies had greeted her on the way, she may have been a total klutz but she had been nice to other ponies and others had returned the favor. But though every now and again she would be bullied but she always tended to ignore and continue on with her day. Yea go Derpy for being the better pony!

"Thanks!" she replied.

Other ponies looked at her in confusion at the randomness that had occurred then and there. Derpy realized she must of sounded weird for saying thank you to no pony in particular. She cracked an awkward smile and speed walked to the science lab.

When she had entered the lab her friend's Carrot Top, Lyra, and Bon Bon, had gestured for her to go and sit with them. She beamed at seeing her friends and ran over to hang out with them. She sat down beside Carrot Top.

"Hi guys!'' Derpy greeted.

"What's up Derpy?" Lyra asked.

"Mmm…. nothing, question does some pony narrate your life?"

Lyra had spit out the soda she was drinking, and looked at Derpy questionably.

"Erhm..." Lyra didn’t know how to answer that ridiculous question.

"Some pony narrating your life?" Bon Bon questioned,

"Yeah, like saying everything your doing!" Derpy answered.

Her friends looked at each other in confusion. They thought she was just playing a joke but it turns out that Derpy was indeed being serious.

"Yeah sometimes…" Carrot Top said breaking the silence.

Carrot top looked Lyra and Bon bon expectantly, hoping they would agree with her. Lyra and Bon bon nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Yay, I'm not crazy!" Derpy squeaked.

"So what's been going on with you guys?" Derpy asked.

"Nothing much really, well my mom got mad me the other day because I had ate up the freshly made candy!" Bon Bon giggled.

"Well I can see that all that candy is making its way to your thighs…" Lyra flirted, while poking her leg.

Bon Bon blushed and smiled at the sexual comment that Lyra had made.

"Not now, later…" Bon Bon whispered to Lyra.

Derpy and Carrot looked at the two mares in front of them and nervously chuckled.

"Oh that Lyra, am I right?" Carrot Top said feeling flustered.

"What about you Carrot?" Derpy Questioned

"I plucked carrots!" Carrot Top said filled with pride.

"Wow!" Derpy said "that’s kind of bland, OH blander than a bran muffin!" Derpy joked getting a small giggle from her friends.

"OKAY EVERYPONY SETTLE DOWN… SETTLE DOWN…, NO SWIFT HOOF YOU CANT USE A TEXTBOOK AS A LETHAL WEAPON PUT IT DOWN!" Said Bill Neigh the science stallion

"Alright class today we are learning about sex and how foals are made!" Bill Neigh announced

Derpy out of gut reaction immediately looked at Lyra and Bon bon, and then whispered into Carrot Tops ear.

"I guarantee you they are both lesbians!"

Carrot top nodded in agreement.

As Bill Neigh continued his lecture about sex, Derpy had begun to doodle on a spare piece of paper. She started to draw Lyra and Bon Bon kissing. This thought was embedded in her mind along with the narrator who got a full view of what she was thinking. The narrator cringed but was kind of turned on at the same time.

"Derpy, what is a phallus?" Bill Neigh called on Derpy.

Derpy looked up from her paper and shouted:

"A male rooster, like on a farm!" Derpy randomly said.

"Ah yes a cock, polite way to word it, glad you're paying attention miss Hooves!" Bill Neigh curtly added and continued on with his lecture.

Derpy sat and doodled trying to figure out a way to thicken the plot on this story. She then picked up her textbook decided to actually pay attention to the lecture that Bill Neigh was giving and sat through the rest of the class studying until it was over.

**************

Derpy and her friends walked to their lockers to grab their supplies they needed for second period. She opened up her locker and looked at her planner. Gym was next; she grabbed her gym bag and closed her locker. She waited for her friends to grab their things, while waiting she saw a pony she had not seen before. He was a brown stallion with a brown mane.

"Wow… new student." Derpy whispered for no particular reason.

"What?" Bon Bon said.

"Look it’s a new pony!" Derpy said aloud.

"Hi!" she called out to the brown stallion

The new pony must have heard her and looked at her nervously and quickly paced to another direction. Derpy looked confused. Am I scary? Derpy thought with a sad expression on her face.

Bon Bon noticed Derpy looking a little down, and said:

"Don’t worry all new students avoid others, you should know that by now!" Bon Bon said while patting Derpy on the back.

"Oh right I forgot!" Derpy felt relieved.

The four mares made their way to the school gym. Many others greeted the four mares for unknown reasons. Oh wait, it was national not be a douche day.

"A lot of ponies are being nice today." Derpy spoke

"Yea I noticed, its nice for a change though." Lyra replied

"Oh I forgot to give this to you Lyra!" Derpy said handing her drawing to Lyra.

It was the very detailed picture of Lyra and Bon Bon kissing. Lyra looked at Derpy and smiled and put the picture in her back pocket.

They made it to the gym and filed into the change room like bees into a bee hive, after a long hard day of pollinating flowers and plants.

"That’s kind of a weird analogy!" Derpy spoke aloud.

Sorry if I'm boring you Derpy, I'm trying to think of things to add to the story, I'm kind of in a rut!

"It's okay Mr. Narrator!" Derpy said.

When Derpy was in the middle of changing into some gym clothes, she had heard another mare Cloudchaser talk about the new student that Derpy recently had saw in hallways on the way to the gymnasium. Immediately feeling curious as to what Cloudchaser said, Derpy listened in on what she was saying.

"Oh I heard his name is Doctor Whooves, and he said he was from Gallifrey on some shit like that." Cloudchaser said while slipping on her gym shorts.

"Oh I saw him too, I gotta admit he's cute!" said Roseluck.

"Yea he has like, one of those weird accents from New Neighland!" Flitter added.

''He has a cool brown suit as well!" Roseluck spoke again.

Derpy felt the need to ask one of the mares a question about him, because they seem to know more about him than any other pony. Derpy felt odd, she seemed to be drawn to him like a psycho murderer to their victim! Oh uh... I mean a, moth to a light bulb. Yea that’s what I mean!

"Narrator why you make me sounds crazy!" Derpy whispered hoping no pony can hear her.

Sorry I'm trying to add more detail and depth to the story! Do you want people to like this story?

"Yes" she whispered again.

Then I rest my case!

"Erhm… do you know if he has a boyfriend?" Roseluck asked awkwardly.

"Really Roseluck, every new stallion who shows up, you want to date them!" Lyra added

"Beside mares are better!" Lyra said under her breath.

Derpy and her friends walked out of the change room, the others mares socializing; Derpy was deep in thought about the new student. She had to admit she thought he was cute when she first saw him. Okay maybe for no reason she liked him a little bit. Derpy felt Carrot Top nudge her.

"You looked completely zoned out, you okay?" Carrot Top asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just thinking about music and muffins and how they would make an awesome combination…" Derpy lied, trying to sound convincing

"Oh uh… yeah, cool" Carrot Top smiled sheepishly.

Derpy felt guilty to lying to her friend. But meh sometimes you just got to. I don’t know Hypothetical shit! Oh wait, sorry shouldn't have said that. Derpy lied because she felt kind of awkward and it was at school, but Derpy had planned to tell her friend's about this random liking'ness. That’s a word now! Derpy carried out the rest of gym class doing fitness tests, Gym was one of her strong suits but she was still very much clumsy, but she had managed. And then more stuff happens.

*************

Derpy and her friends were talking about current events, well only them; Derpy just mostly sat and listened, enjoying the moment of just her and her friends hanging out. They four mares were really close as a matter of fact. Especially Lyra and Bon Bon, they were uncomfortably close but sort of cute together, Derpy thought.

"Hey are you two together?" Derpy asked both Lyra and Bon Bon

"Well yea wasn’t it obvious?" Bon bon giggled.

"Yea, no we kind of didn’t pick that up for some reason." Carrot Top said.

"Oh yea, were dating!" Lyra concluded.

"Speaking about dating, who's your crush Carrot Top?" Lyra asked.

"Uh… Heh, how about I tell you guys after school, I don’t want anyone to hear." Carrot Top awkwardly said.

"Well whatever makes you feel comfy!" Derpy said while patting her friend on the back.

The lunch bell rang out into the halls of the school alerting every pony that it was indeed Noms time. Many Ponies left their home rooms towards the school cafeteria, including Derpy and her friends, with a hankering for hay burgers! And maybe a flower salad or something I don’t know what ever they felt like eating.

Derpy and her friends sat at a table near the windows, they sometimes felt they needed to be around sunlight because if they didn’t see the light of day for 6 hours they would be blinded when they left the school. I mean logic!

''I'm so glad they had hay burgers! I was starving by the time gym was over, and I was craving these!" Bon Bon said triumphantly.

"I like the muffins they have here!" said Derpy.

"I like the carrots!" Carrot top added.

"To be honest I would have never guessed that…" Lyra said sarcastically.

The four hungry mares… that sounds kind of naughty… any who scarfed down the food on their plates, faster than Applejack on an apple binge.

"Weird analogies!" Derpy spoke aloud.

"What…? That was sarcasm…" Bon Bon said confuzzled.

"Not that, the annoying narrator!" Derpy said clearly frustrated

Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged confused looks and continued eating.

Derpy waited for the bell to ring, to signal that Noms time was over and fourth period to begin. Considering that there was still about 15 minutes left, she decided to play around on her phone for a little while, as her friend's continued talking.

Derpy looked at adorable pictures of muffins to pass the time; she liked muffins, taste, smell, texture, and the way they looked. Nice and warm and fluffy, and yummy! Ever since she had her first muffin, she been more addicted to them, than Lyra's fetish with hands.

And with that moment in time all the planets aligned and a huge beam of light shined on the school causing the school bell to ring. Intense transaction! And with that, fourth period had begun. Many ponies filed out of the cafeteria and got ready for their classes Derpy and her friends did the same.

The rest of her day was learning and hanging out with her friends and mostly Lyra and Bon bon flirting the whole time. But the rest of the day went normal for Derpy.

Until, she saw him again the ever so handsome, new student who apparently had an obsession with butter.

She stared at him wondering: what are his secrets and motives! I don’t know I guess Derpy is weird like that but whatever. She had decided to go and talk to him and hoped that things wouldn’t get awkward.

She had walked up to the new student, who clearly was oblivious as to what was going on because he was sitting in a corner with a bag of butter, noming in the middle of home ec class.

"WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THE BUTTER!" Some pony called out in rage.

The expression on his face turned from pure euphoria to horror. As he realized he stole all the butter "by accident".

He quickly hid the bag in his jacket. And looked at the mare in front of him it was Derpy.

"No butter here!" the Doctor said putting on fake smile.

"Oh don’t worry I won't tell any pony!" Derpy said with a smile.

"I just wanted to talk to you, you know because you are new!"

"Oh yea, I saw you in the hallway!" The Doctor said with an interested expression on his face.

"Sorry I didn’t say anything, I was distracted by something."

"It's okay busy life…" Derpy let out and awkward chuckle.

"So when di-…" Derpy was cut off by a very angry Swift Hoof.

"I HAVE TEXT BOOK AND IM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!, NOW HAND OVER ALL, THE BUTTER!" Swift Hoof Yelled.

"Fine!" The Doctor reluctantly handed over the butter to Swift Hoof.

"Bloody asshole!" the Doctor said under his breath.

At that point the bell rang, the school day was over.

"Welp! Gotta go!" the Doctor got up and ran out of the room.

"Wow he's cute!" Derpy said with a grin on her face.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Author's Note

hope you enjoyed this chapter! had a lot of fun writing this, hope you like it! :derpytongue2: