//-------------------------------------------------------// The Right People in the Wrong Place -by Head of Common Mockery- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue - "We found what you found" //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue - "We found what you found" A single very dim light comes on in a void of darkness. Tiny tails begin to stream off of the dim light, attach to an invisible structure that appears to be made of glass, and lights up the glass. The glass goes on for a very long time and fills the once dark void with more light than the heavens. Bbbbooting maiiiiiiiiiii-rrrrrrrrr... a voice in the void flickers in it's speech, and the dim light flicks out. It flicks back on but brighter than before, Booting main s-system. C'mon, I di-di-don't need this fucking-ing-ing-ing bullshit. Sca-a-a-aning inside temp-p-p-perture... Just need a minute to warm up... Alright, that's better. the glass begins to light up with multiple different lights in varieties of colors. A row of words on a pad form in front of the light that started this. EXTENDED_AI_SLEEP_OVERIDE-STAN_LEE_PROTOCOL... Stan Lee Protocol? I'd grab popcorn if I had my body. More words form in front of the light. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: AI Robin, requesting your assistance. A second pad forms under this first one and words go onto it. MSG_TO_MISSION_BRIEFER: What happened to the other multiverse AI evaluators? MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: We want your expertise and connections on this one. This elite bloke's got concern about his last mission. Sending files about what it was supposed to be. -Belarus_Silo_Incident|3/8/2034 MSG_TO_MISSION_BRIEFER: The Belarus Silo incident? That missile went off and killed the team sent to deal with it. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: Hence why we need your connections. MSG_TO_MISSION_BRIEFER: Alright, I'll evaluate him.. SITUATION_EVALUATION_THUS_FAR: MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: We need your evaluation. Why the response? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": Permission to respond personally? MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: Granted. MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": This dude's been through some shit. He's saying that we lost a Prototype Spartan and an Ex-Tech squad to anthro caribou Vikings. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: And you believe him? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": Yep. It's still going. Damn, that's a good memory. He'd make a good AI. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: I'll have to investigate this with Q and Taneleer Tivan. This stream is secure, right? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": It is now. Where are you? MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: I'm at Canterlot. MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": Canterlot? Why? MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: The reason is not important. What is important is the information that man is giving to us. MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": Now he's talking about seeing time slow down and a man in a suit. Think it's G Man? MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: Can't be. Why would he take intrest in the place that this guy is talking about? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": He saved a kid from being food. Maybe he likes to save children? Or wants a desired effect. The squad was an elite one, and they had a Spartan planted among them. Maybe he wants someone to notice that place. Either way, we sent some scouts to that universe. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: And what did they report? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": They were captured. There only two female scouts amongst them, and they all came back female. They also had multiple sexual injuries. They all said around the same thing. A general sum of what they said would be 'Those bastards gave us tits and baby-makers. I'm not going back there.'. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: Dear god man! They've been R63'd? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": By Equestrian-like magic. You already know that all my memories became digitalized and easily assessable since I became an AI. I kinda hated that because of The Nothern European Front and The Great Lakes Ganglands. I've also been given files on what happens there constantly. Hold on, I'm going to give some live feed. AUDIO_STREAM_COMMENCING|STAND_BY... STREAM: Osman: I going to give you what you want now, you happy? Interviewer: Alright, now we're going somewhere with usable information. Osman: Asshole. Anyways, as I said earlier, my squad had the following men. Interviewer: We already have thier names on file. Osman: I'm saying thier names again because fuck you. The names are Frank Willis, Todd Mays, Will Simpson, Derik Jekyll, Spartan Jake Miller, and me. Interviewer: Say it again without revealing the fact that the Spartan is a Spartan. Osman: Kill me over it. Or am I too important? Interviewer: Fine. Continue. Osman: We just. Appeared out of nowhere in an unbuilt sex dungeon room. They used it for the "spent" women. We saved the one lady we found, and had to drag her with. Interviewer: Yes, the mare who doesn't want to be away from you. For the record of this information, she's in the "Magic Cleanup" ward. Don't worry Osman, we got our top scientists cleaning up the electric distortions. Osman: She'll end up having to go, won't she. Interviewer: After she's cleaned up and fixed, she's free to go. Osman: That's good. Interviewer: And I'm not sure about how you got there, but we got confirmation. You're right, there are Viking Anthro Caribou slavers. We found what you found, and you're right it's not pret-|STREAM CUT... MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: He brought back someone? MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": technically, the term is something. Her name is Daisy Fields, and she's got the hots for Osman Jerauld. It might not last, you read what they're doing to her. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: They'll get her cleaned. We dropping Osman? Actually, I have a large say. We're not dropping Osman, and he has special access to Daisy should any romantic relationship occur. MSG_TO_"A51 Agent Diehard": I'll let them know that you said so. That's for making that an order. Now I can watch them piss themselves if they debunk the order. MSG_TO_AI_EVALUATOR: Give me a file on the full interview. I'll read it later. Right now, I've got bigger fish to fry. Luna's inspecting my newest editions to the "Nightmare Series" armor. I'll make my next contract more direct next time. We'll meet at-_CLOSED... EXIT_SITUATION_EVALUATION_TAP... Y/N... Y SITUATION_EVALUATION_TAP_CLOSED...