Motherhood

by DiamondMoon10

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 854

Cadence is a new mother. She is also constantly stressed.

Cadence thought that motherhood would be easy. Taking her daughter to the park, eating ice cream with her, and overall just good times. SHE. WAS. WRONG! as Shining Armor said, it's very very very very very confusing!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-29 23:55:02 UTC

A Walk in the Park!

Cadence was walking in the park with Flurry Heart.  Shining Armor was on guard duty and had to take a trip to Canterlot. Cadence thought that the baby should be fine now that that spell was cast on her. Plus they both needed some fresh air!

"Oh you're so cute I-what's that smell?" Said Cadence.

"Sweet Celestia! Why did I have to put beans in your baby food! AND WE ARE IN PUBLIC TOO!"

Cadence stopped talking as she noticed everypony was staring. They went back to the castle and changed her diaper.

"Now I know why Shining got sick so often..." She thought aloud.

They went back to the park and everypony crowded around them.

"Sweet Celestia! She's even cuter up close!"

"Mom get the camera!"

"Gasp! CAN I PLEASE HOLD HER!?" Suddenly Flurry Heart started screaming and crying. The ponies backed away, afraid because of the last... incident.

"Now look what you did! You're so lucky we cast a spell to keep her from exploding everything!" Cadence shouted at the tourists. She picked up Flurry Heart and rocked her until she stopped. Then she realized she was late to go home and make food! She knew she couldn't fly with the stroller. So she just had to trot. She was soon home and started making dinner.

"I am so happy that's over! I can't wait until Shining comes home!" She walks up to the calendar and notices that she has a little more that a month before he comes home.

"Celestia please save me!" Said an annoyed Cadence. Celestia seemed to be doing anything BUT helping. Well let that be a lesson, never expect help from a CAKE addict! soon Cadence passed out on the couch after putting her baby down for a nap, and thinking of the pros and cons of duct-taping her baby's mouth shut.

She woke with a jolt! Flurry Heart was up from her nap and screaming at the top of her lungs! She ran fast as possible and then stopped. She knew why she was crying! The phone was ringing and it was her husband's ringtone!

I AM CALLING YOU! PLEASE DON'T HANG UP OR YOU'RE A POO! She was so embarrassed that her husband, THE ROYAL GUARD LEADER, sung that for his ring tone that EVERYPONY WILL HEAR! She decided to grab the phone and run out the door!  She did her plan and she was so happy she did! until her baby almost FREAKIN' FLEW OUT THE WINDOW! She flew Flurry Heart back to the crib and pressed answer on the phone

Before Shining Armor could even make a sound Cadence said "WHERE IS THE ORPHANAGE!?"

"Um sweetheart that is a little extreme. Also I guess I don't need to ask how it's going so far..." replied her husband

"THIS IS AWFUL! I HAVE TO GET UP SO EARLY I CAN'T EVEN GO TO SUNBITS FOR A COFFEE! THI-" He hung up on her. Her eyes gave a twitch.

She force-fed Flurry lots of food and milk before locking all doors and windows. She flew outside and headed straight for a bar!

I'M HOME!

Cadence came back the next day to her daughter whining. Loudly. "OH SHUT UP! I HAVE BEEN AWAKE FOR... A WHILE... IN A BAR! THEIR BATHROOMS ARE SO GROSS! I GOTTA POOP WOMAN!" She yelled to Flurry Heart.

"IF YOU DON'T- YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW WHERE THE DUCT-TAPE IS! SO HA!" She yelled as she came out from the bathroom. She levitated a roll of the tape and taped it to Flurry's mouth. She picked up her Cherry-Phone 10 and started playing her favorite songs.

"WITH A THOUSAND LIES AND A G-" Her song had been interrupted by  Shining's awful ringtone. She threw her phone because she was angry (not to mention, drunk).

"DAMNIT SHINING!" She screamed. She headed for the fridge and took out a bucket of ice-cream. Then she grabbed the remote and started watching, Keeping Up With the Sapphire Shores. Soon she was binge watching every episode on Demand. And crying. And having to pause to put on earplugs, extra duct-tape, and baby food to feed Flurry. She did it very quickly and then saw an ad for a wine making machine. and then having a mental breakdown because she couldn't afford it.

She fell asleep on her couch and woke up still a tad bit drunk. But at least she was only a little now. She ran up stairs and un-taped her baby and fed her. Only problem was, She accidently fed her bubble soap. "Burp!" Tiny bubbles floated out of Flurry Heart's mouth.

"Crap..." Said Cadence, irritated.

"Cwap!" Said the baby happily, thinking that repeating her mom was a good idea. Suddenly Cadence had a good idea too.

"A filly sitter! I can go out with with my friends while you have fun with a filly sitter!" She found a filly sitter online quick as can be and waited until she showed up. She heard a crash outside and went to see what it was.

It was Derpy.

The filly sitter.