Loss

by Kaylee

Rating: mature
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Fluttershy, Tragedy, Derpy Hooves, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1064

Derpy's pregnancy doesn't turn out like she had planned

Life doesn't always go well. Horrible things happen, even to good ponies. Derpy learns that the hard way. and she might not survive the lesson.

Now with a reading by Scribbler!

Published 2016-08-14 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-14 16:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Derpy trudged home in the dark, head down and wings dragging through the snow. Even the small amount of effort required to keep them folded was just too much right now. Everything had fallen apart that day. Wet, dirty wings were the least of her worries.

She stumbled as another cramp took hold of her belly. “It’ll be over soon,” they had said. “There’s nothing we can do except let things run their course.” The pitying looks had almost been as bad as the pain. However, the worst part had been when she had heard a couple of the nurses outside her room talking.

“Maybe it’s better this way,” the first voice whispered. “I mean, considering how she ended up in this situation in the first place.”

“True. Besides, can you see Derpy trying to raise a foal on her own? She has a difficult enough time taking care of herself.”

It was after overhearing that conversation that Derpy had slipped her way out of the hospital room, managing to leave without attracting any unwanted attention. It was as she had stepped outside and into the snowy night that it had hit her. Her baby, the one good thing to come out of her life, was dying before she was even born.

And it was all her fault.

She had known that she shouldn’t have been trying to fly this late in the pregnancy, but she was sure that things would be fine. She would be extra careful, but she couldn’t afford to take leave from her job at the Post Office until there was no choice. She just couldn’t afford it.

Derpy sobbed and another cramp drove her to her knees. She felt warm liquid trail down the inside of her back leg.

She should have found a way. Why had she been so stupid?

Derpy had been concentrating so hard on just staying in the air - the extra weight made flying take much more effort than normal - that she hadn’t noticed the rainbow blur heading straight across her flight path. They’d collided mid-air and tumbled to the ground, the rainbow pegasus landing on top of Derpy.

Rainbow Dash had been very apologetic about the whole thing. She had been trying a new trick and had miscalculated, but Derpy had waved her off. Derpy knew better than to not pay attention to her surroundings while she was working. She felt fine, so no harm done.

But it wasn’t fine. Ten minutes later, she felt the first contraction. She was sure she had imagined the first one. After the second one, she began to panic. It was too soon. She wasn’t supposed to deliver for another month. She’d changed course and flown straight for the hospital, not even stopping to drop off her mailbag.

An hour of pain, tests, and whispered conversations later and the doctor finally told her what she had breaded hearing from the moment the contractions started.

“I’m so sorry--”

Derpy hadn’t heard anything after that. She was losing her baby and it was all her fault. She was so selfish. Taking risks that she shouldn’t have. She shouldn’t have kept working. She could have stretched things if she had really tried. She could have found ways to save bits if she had just tried.

But she hadn’t.

And now it was too late.

Derpy reached her door, leaning her head against the wood as another contraction took hold of her. Fumbling at the door, she managed to get it open before collapsing onto the floor. The waves of pain were coming more frequently now, making it impossible for Derpy to continue walking.

Eventually, between contractions, she managed to make it all the way inside. She curled up on the floor, drawing all four legs to her stomach. She lost track of time as she lay there, riding out the pain. The sound of her own sobs and moans the only thing breaking the silence.

It seemed like days passed that way - just an unending series of steadily worsening pains. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, the worst hit her. The pain radiated through her whole body as her stomach tightened, and her body pushed, despite her attempts to fight it. She didn’t want it to end. If it ended, it was truly over.

Almost too drained to move, Derpy pulled her head up, looking down past her belly and spying the small bundle on the floor. Using her forehooves, she gently picked up the small wet body and brought it to her chest.

She nuzzled into her baby. A little unicorn, with hair matching her own. In the dawnlight just slipping in through the window, she could just make out the blonde hair resting against a purple coat. She was perfect.

Derpy hugged the tiny cold body to her own. She stayed curled up around her baby, ignoring the expanding puddle under her and the cold air around her.

Eventually, there was a small shuffle of movement and a whisper. “I’m sorry, Dinky. I’m so, so sorry.”

***

Mid-morning there was a knock on the door. “Derpy! Open up! You’re late to work and boy is the post master angry!”

Despite repeated knocking, there was no answer, and eventually the caller left.

An hour later and there was a much softer knock at the door. “Derpy, are you there?”

…

“Derpy, nobody’s seen you today. I just wanted to check on you and make sure everything is ok.”

…

“Derpy, I’m going to go ahead and come in now. I hope that’s ok.”

The door creaked open and Fluttershy’s head came into the room. “Derpy? Where are--” Fluttershy’s eyes began to adjust to the dark interior of the house, and she spotted the shape of Derpy in the middle of the living room floor.

“Derpy, why are you sleeping on the floor?” Fluttershy walked toward the shape, coming to a stop when she stepped into a puddle. She brought her hoof up to her face and her heart froze when she realized exactly what she had stepped in.

“No.” she whispered. “No, no, no.”

Fluttershy pushed her nose into Derpy’s shoulder. “Derpy, you need to wake up now. Derpy, come on, you need to go to the doctor now.”

There was no response. Fluttershy knew there never would be.

“Oh, Derpy.”