Velvet Step's Revenge

by Lise

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2811

Velvet Step decides to do the best worst possible thing to her closest friend: buy her a pet... a "classically" trained pet.

Takes place in the Quill & Blade alternate universe.

(Being familiar with The Velveteen Mask is recommended for an enhanced reading experience)

Spending a brief vacation in Ponyvilly, Velvet Step decides to get a pet for her best friend. And since anypony could just buy a pet, Velvet proceeds to make sure her gift is unforgettable.

Special thanks to Aziraphael for editing.

Published 2016-04-01 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-01 18:50:01 UTC

They'll just love it!

"That's just perfect!" Velvet Step rubbed her hooves together. Even her small frame and soft pink coat couldn't hide the evil intent that brewed within. Absolutely perfect! The earth pony's lips curved in a malicious smile.

"Umm, are you sure, umm, your friend will like this?" Fluttershy asked timidly. She didn't seem to share Velvet's enthusiasm at all. "Mango could be slightly temperamental. And, umm, there is the smallest possibility that she might be a bit jealous of any marefriends your friend has."

"Temperamental and jealous. Got it!" Velvet's smile turned into a grin. This is getting better and better! Going to Ponyville turned out to be the best idea ever! Watch out, Crystal! Payback time is here!

"Your friend isn't in a serious relationship I hope?" Fluttershy appeared increasingly concerned. "Because there is this lovely—"

"What, Silent? In a relationship?" Velvet snorted, waving a hoof. Oh, why am I so evil? Crystal will really hate me for this. Then again, that’s what friends are for! "As if anypony will take that nerd! He spends all his time goofing around with friends or playing with his dolls. Sorry, his miniatures." She did air-quotes with her hooves. "What mare in her right right mind would get involved with a stallion like that?"

"Umm, okay?" Reluctantly, the yellow pegasus placed a small golden-green paroquet on Velvet's back. Just feeling the sharpness of the talons filled the pink mare's mind with thoughts of hilarity. "Are you sure you don't want a travel cage? If you’re going all the way to the Crystal Empire the train ride might—"

"Nope, no cage. I'm sure it will be fine." What quicker way to annoy a bird? I bet she'll be furious by the time I bring her to Silent Knight. "What do I owe you?"

"Umm, just make sure Mango goes to a good home?" Fluttershy seemed confused by the question. Aww, you're cute, you know that? Maybe I should... No! I have things to do, places to be, besides my train leaves in twenty minutes. Velvet hesitated. She could, in theory, take a later train. She had the bits to afford it. But that would mean taking a day longer to get to Crystal's new home, and she very much wanted to surprise her friend as soon as possible. Then again, a cute yellow pegasus was standing right in front of her.

So many options, Velvet mused. Surprising Crystal. Cute pegasus. Surprising Silent. Cute pegasus.

"You know what? Take this." Velvet pushed two theatre tickets into Fluttershy's hooves. Since she started working at the Royal Canterlot Theatre, she had developed a habit of carrying a few for emergency dates. Would be useless to waste them. "My next performance is in a week."

"R-r-royal Canterlot Theatre?" The pegasus' eyes widened. Ah, so easily impressed. I like! "But, I simply couldn't..."

"Hey, you gave me a Mango." Velvet winked. "A few tickets is the least I could offer." And I do mean the least. "Just promise you'll come, okay?"

The pegasus squeaked something in response, which Velvet assumed to be a "Yes", further tempting the mare to stay. Nope, not this time, she sighed. Best get on moving. She could easily come back, and next time she'd make sure her Ponyville friends were actually there before taking the train. Part of her was still mad she had forgotten about Horsey and Savoire's trip to Las Pegasus. Arriving and finding them gone had not been pleasant in the least. Velvet had almost taken the next train back to Canterlot. It still remained a mystery why she hadn't, but Velvet was grateful for it! A few days away from the endless practice had done wonders. Velvet couldn't remember feeling so relaxed. Not to mention that the local Spa was to die for. It was almost a pity she had to leave.

"Ready for the big city, Mango?" Velvet asked as she trotted towards the train station. "You better be, because it's goodbye peace and quiet from here on."

"Pretty birdy! Pretty birdy!" Mango screeched. By Celestia it was horrible! Velvet could imagine a whole ensemble of ponies cringing in pain and horror at the cacophony of sounds. To have such a monster live with you day and night must be the definition of Tartarus.

"That's right." The pony grinned. "I am a pretty birdy. And so are you!" Silent and Crystal will simply love you.

A semblance of guilt came over Velvet. Maybe she was going a bit too far with this? She certainly didn't want to become that pony. Then again, a pet was what Crystal always wanted — something strange and exotic, and there was hardly anything more exotic than a talking parrot. I'm sure they will handle it just fine!

As she approached the train station, Velvet could feel the calmness surrounding her fade away. More and more ponies started to look at their watches, rush to and fro, even bump into each other with an occasional apology. The vacation she had taken seemed to be over, now all that remained was to go on with her plan.

"Do you have any luggage, Miss?" the clerk at the ticket office asked.

"Nope, just me." Velvet smiled widely.

"Are you sure?" The clerk adjusted his glasses.

"Yes. What you see is what you get." Maybe I shouldn't have used that phrase. I'm not in Canterlot. The clerk cleared his throat, then pointed at the bird on her shoulder. "Mango? He's just a dear friend—"

"Should that be two tickets then?" There was no getting around it. The clerk had made his point — he was getting his bits one way or the other.

"—who loves to think of himself as a suitcase." Velvet quickly added. Rude much? You could have just asked for a pet ticket or something! She paid the bits requested, doing so with a smile, but the gears in her mind were turning. Silent didn't just deserve an annoyed parrot. Oh, no. She had something far more interesting in mind now.

"Excuse me." Velvet flashed her most seductive smile upon boarding the train. "Could you please lend me your overcoat? My poor parrot is exhausted and needs to take a rest before we reach Canterlot."

"Why, I..." The stallion she asked blushed. He was a rather large earth pony, but by the looks of it a bit younger than Velvet herself, and definitely not used to being asked favours by pretty mares.

"Oh, thank you!" Velvet didn't give him a chance to refuse. "You really are a lifesaver!" Before the stallion could even realize what was going on, the mare took the garment he was holding, and moved to the next compartment.

A quick glance ensured that the stallion continued to stand there, speechless and dumbfounded. I hope he was going to Canterlot. What she had done wasn't very nice, but sacrifices were necessary for the sake of the prank. Maybe I should have just bought the overcoat? I have the bits. Well, too late now.

"Mango," she said sharply. “I'll make you a—" she paused a moment looking at the overcoat. I should have taken that travel cage "—bed with this. Might not be five stars, but I want you to get as much sleep as you can. There's a rough night ahead of us." Oh, Celestia, I should be locked up for what I'm about to do.

The bird tilted its head to one side, considering the situation for a few moments. Ultimately it flapped off the pony's shoulder, landing gently on the neighbouring seat. Perfect! Now I just have to cover her with this thing. The task proved more difficult than the pony imagined. The amount of bites Velvet received ranged into the dozens, not to mention scaring half the passengers out of the compartment. After half an hour of ceaseless efforts, and the help of two conductors, three business ponies, and a famous architect, the makeshift cage-slash-bed was ready and both Velvet and Mango could finally get some sleep.

The journey to Canterlot lasted less than the blink of an eye. Velvet felt she had hardly dozed off, when a pair of hooves gently shook her.

"Wha?" she yawned half-asleep.

"We are in Canterlot, Miss," a concerned train conductor whispered. "Do you require need any help?"

Only if you ask nicely, Velvet thought. Her first reaction was to look at the seat beside her. The parrot was sitting there patiently, even more asleep than she was, despite having her "coat cage" removed. Tired already? I'll have to find a way to fix that.

"Miss?" The conductor urged. "The train will be leaving in five minutes..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Velvet said, deliberately stretching as she did. "I really don't know what happened to me." Gracefully, she placed Mango on her back, then with the finesse of a prima got out of her seat. Beside her, the conductor blushed. "I really am a terrible pony. Thank you for putting up with me."

"Why, I... that is," the stallion mumbled behind her.

I must hurry. Velvet quickly left the train. It was already late and she had yet to catch another train for the Crystal Empire. Usually, after such a long trip a shower and a nice rest would be the first things on her mind. Right now, however, there was no time. Sacrifices would have to be made. The things I do for you Crystal! You better appreciate it.

"Mango? Mango!" she whispered to the parrot, as her trot became a cadence. "Are you awake?" The bird flapped her wings several times, then screeched. "Good enough. Now listen. We'll be passing though a certain place before we go home. I know you might find this place unusual”— Stars take me, I'm having a conversation with a bird about a nightclub. Nope, nothing strange about that. Not one bit.—”maybe even frightening. Now, I want you to remain calm, and remember as many words as you can. Got it?"

Mango flapped her wings again. I'll take that as a yes.

"Also, we might be going to the unusual place more than once." Once this is over I'll sleep for days. "And then we'll be taking another train to the Crystal Empire. The important thing is that you remember everything that's said. Can you?" Another wing flap followed. "Good!"

I must be crazy. I am crazy! No sane pony would go through with this! Whatever remnants of doubt lingered in Velvet's mind were quickly swept away. Actually, she was quite proud of herself. It was all a bit of harmless fun, after all, and there was no way Crystal or Silent could top what she had planned for them! Well, it might end up being not entirely harmless for Silent, but he was an officer now, so he should handle it! The malicious smile returning to her face, Velvet rushed straight to the Mare Contraire. Now the real fun begins.

Finally here, Velvet thought. The Mare Contraire—her home away from home. That is, if one could call a nightclub for one night stands a second home. It Crystal knew she would find it sad. Not Velvet, though. This place was full with many pleasant memories. Eyeing the crowd, she made her way to her usual stool. Normally, she'd be quite discreet about it. The presence of Mango on her back changed all that.

"Let me guess," Dolly, the bartender, said with a level expression, "you've hit rock bottom."

"I have?" Velvet feigned innocence. "And I thought Rock Bottom didn't come here anymore."

"Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom!" Mango screeched helpfully. The bar instantly filled with the sound of hushed chuckles.

"Any new faces that would like to have coffee with me?" Velvet tried to ignore the parrot.

"Coffee with you?" Dolly arched a brow.

"Coffee." Velvet repeated. Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm just doing it for the bird! And besides ponies still use that... I think.

"Coffee..." Dolly sighed even more confused.

"Coffee! Coffee!" The parrot screeched. This time the laughter around was quite audible. Attagirl, Mango! Now shut up! You’re attracting too much attention. "Rock Bottom! Coffee!"

"Listen, I don't know what you're playing tonight, but I'll have to ask you to go." Dolly frowned. "This is supposed to be a quiet place, not a circus." Kick me out, why don't you! I never expected this from you, Dolly! What's wrong? Reliving some suppressed foalhood memory involving parrots?

"Do I at least get a final drink?" Velvet crossed her forelegs. "Or is that too—"

"Why, hello cutie," a mare interrupted. "And what is your name?"

Wow, that was quick. Who knew that having a pet would attract mares so well? Maybe I should borrow one next time I come here. As long as it isn't Mango. Suppressing the temptation to stick her tongue out at Dolly, Velvet turned around to get a look at her potential one night stand. A unicorn? Not bad at all. Velvet had had more gorgeous "dates", yet there was something sweet and charming about this one—light coat, electric mane and the most unusual green eyes Velvet had ever seen. Definitely not from around here, but every motion she made screamed experience.

"Mango! Mango!" the parrot quickly screeched, before Velvet could come up with an answer.

"Is that so?" The unicorn winked to Velvet, before directing her attention to Mango. "And what is the name of your lovely owner, Mango?"

"The pony you'd like to get to know better, I'm sure," Velvet quickly said. She didn't want the parrot to remember her name, or the unicorn's for that matter.

"Are you now?" The unicorn slowly walk round to Velvet's other side, sliding her glance over the earth pony's features as she did so. "So, Coffee?" She offered. The word brought a huge smile to Velvet’s face.

"Coffee." She nodded.

"Coffee! Coffee!" Mango agreed.

"Right," Velvet chuckled. "Lead the way. I'll just pay and join you." Yep, there's no place like home!

* * *

The knocking wouldn't stop. Silent Knight grumbled quietly. He was used to getting up early, but this was ridiculous! No normal pony comes banging on another's door at five in the morning! It was a miracle Crystal hadn't woken up. Gently, the pegasus slipped out of bed. In his mind he had already devised five painful, yet perfectly legal, ways of dealing with the maniac disturbing his sleep. By the time he reached the door, the number had risen to twelve.

"This better be an emergency," he said to himself as he unlocked the door. "Or help me Luna, I'll—" He paused. What he saw wasn't at all what he was expecting. "Velvet?" he asked surprised. What was she doing here! Why did she look as if she had been hit by a freight train? And was that a parrot on her back?

"Yay, Silent," Velvet said with the enthusiasm of semi-conscious tortoise coming out of hibernation. "Happy birthday!"

"You look awful." Silent frowned. "And my birthday has long passed."

"Happy belated birthday!" Velvet grabbed the parrot and unceremoniously placed it on his head. "This is your new pet! Enjoy!"

"You woke me up at five in the morning to give me a bird?" Silent deadpanned. "Do you even realize how absurd it sound—"

"She's very exotic, so treat her with care." Velvet wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying. "Keep her warm, well fed, and whatever you do, don't give her coffee!"

"Coffee! Coffee!" The parrot flapped its wings.

"There, she loves you already!" Velvet smiled, fighting to keep her eyes open. "Say hi to Crystal for me. I'm off to catch my train. Was fun seeing—"

"Now hold on! You can't just come and leave this here! What am I supposed to do with a—" Silent paused. He wasn't even sure what species of parrot this was. "—bird like this?"

"She's yours now, so figure it out." Velvet turned around and started groggily walking away. "Don't worry, she's classically trained! Besides, Crystal has been wanting one for years!"

Silent Knight just stood there staring blankly. For over a minute he didn't move, trying to figure out if this was a dream or not. Then, extremely slowly, so as not to disturb the bird on his head, he went back inside and closed the door.

Well, this happened, he thought. It seems I'm now the owner of a classically trained parrot. What the hay is a classically trained parrot?

"Pretty pony! Pretty pony!" The bird started screeching on top of his head. "Mare Contraire! Pretty pony!"

Velvet… Silent Knight took a deep breath. You might be Crystal’s dearest friend, but I will find a way to settle the score. And it won't be pretty!

“Come on, bird,” he sighed defeated. “Let's put you in the kitchen…”